Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Easy Dig Discounts & Worst Places to be Stuck Overnight - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

We’re moving metal mountains, digging deep into geology and answering life’s greatest questions in this hilarious episode before wrapping things up with a Worst Place to be Stuck Overnight draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Skibbity bop bop, don't stop, I got the rizz and I'm late. Oh! Oh! Not so easy. Terrible! Woo!

He started so late. This is why I'm not a musician, guys. I was like, is his mic not working? I thought so too, I did hear like a click. Oh no. Okay, I think he could have gotten there if he just started on time. Oh man, I don't know what he did

because doing it late made it so great. Thank you, Papa Josh. And Jason, I'm sure is the most, I think, I think you Papa Josh. I got the Riz was in there somewhere. That was the whole point. I did like that he finished it with, I'm late. Yeah, that's the it with, I'm late.

That's the hard part, Papa Josh is that you get one shot, you get one crack. It gets in your head. You think, uh, I don't want to get off beat. I've had times when I thought I knew what I was going to say. And then you realize you're off rhythm. No, it's, uh, it's not so easy. Yeah. I don't know if you got the Riz, but thank you for jumping in. Welcome to the Spitballers episode 325, Papa Josh's debut. I would say every 325 episodes, he's good to go on the scat. It's another five years. I'm guessing he's going to want redemption

the next two episodes. He could be like the full time guy. Would you rather? That's a great question, and we are drafting the worst places to be stuck overnight. Worst places to have to spend the night is the draft on today's show. Thank you for joining us.

Thank you for supporting the show. The website is spitballerspod.com. You can learn how to become an official spitwad. Submit your questions to the show, share your feedback with us and support the podcast if you enjoy it go over to spitballerspod.com and become a spit wad let's get it going would you rather all right brianna from the website, or actually this is

from Patreon says, would you rather have a free house, free food, and every single one of your basic needs completely covered for free? Okay, so all necessities covered? Yep, house, food, every basic need. Or would you rather have an army of 1000,000 loyal dwarves who will do whatever you command? Okay, all right.

What? So, an army, a thousand of them, and they do whatever I command. Like would you be able to get all your basic needs met with an army of 1,000 small dwarves? For sure, for sure. How big is a dwarf? Just to define the term, because I don't know. I mean, this is like Lord of the thousand small dwarves? For sure, for sure. How big is a dwarf?

Just to define the term, because I don't know. I mean, this is like Lord of the Rings stuff, right? Yeah. My ox. Yeah, they gotta have a beard. That's like rule. I mean, if they're at working age, they've got a long beard, right? How soon do dwarves get their beard?

Is that puberty or is that from birth? I gotta think it's like 12. Like 12 years old, they got a big beard and I imagine they live. I mean they live underground, right? Dwarves, Mike? Between, sorry, I'm on high. And yeah, they live in the mountain.

Yeah, or under the mountain. Or under the mountain, yeah. In the mines. But not under the ground, right? There has to be a mountain above them for some reason? Even if they're down beneath the ground level. Because they like mining. Right, and mountains have a lot of mining.

Yeah, mountains are where the... It's all the metal is. Jason, you know this, of course. Yes, I do. Of course. They call them metal mountains. So I mean... Between four and five feet is what I am seeing.

What? Between four and five feet, that's incredible. At first I thought you meant beneath the earth is where they, No, no, no, no, no. That's where all the mellows. That's not very far down. According to author J.R.R. Tolkien,

dwarves are on average between four and five feet tall. Yeah, they're subterranean. They're four to five feet. Four to five feet tall is not that short. No, it's not really not. I think in lore, dwarves, sometimes they could be smaller. Yeah. They're always hefty though.

There's never a skinny, Oh yeah, yeah. There's not a skinny dwarf. Good dick. They're strong, they're swinging that axe They're always hefty though. There's never a skinny, they're not a skinny dwarf. They're strong, they're swinging that axe. Because of all the mining. Yeah. You have to dig constantly. Also think about, so if you've got a thousand, and I like that it's called an army, I really do.

Just means like, you know, it's not like a thousand workers. I was wondering about that. I've got a thousand soldiers. But they'll also still work. I feel like I can make a lot of businesses here. That's what I was gonna say. It's about business. Is can you get the- Oh! Can you get the- I'm not heading on to that at all.

You gotta get the revenue to get the free house, free food, basic needs met. I feel like the house, they take care of the house. A thousand workers, they'll build you an underground. You'll be insulated by the earth. Are you okay with that though? You wanna live under the mountain? No skylights.

Can I get a skylight? No way, man. I wanted a skylight. You can't have one. Do I get lights at all? I mean, I could have. Yeah. It doesn't have to just be like a torch, right? Can I run on an extension cord?

Do they have electricity? An extension cord. Yeah, you can, you can, we're not. This is modern day. Yeah, this is today. If I had a thousand dwarves down the street, building me a house, they'd run an extension cord down there. No, but no, dwarves can't handle electricity.

Oh, they, I feel like if they- I'll handle the electricity, all right? I'll do that part. You'll hire an electrician to help with all the dwarf mansion. You got smelting? They got that no problem. They got smelting, they'll carve it out for me.

But circuits and- Can they get me, are they good at getting food? Yeah, they can hunt, I'm sure. What do dwarves do for food? No one ever talks about this. Are there any things to eat underground? I would imagine they hunt. Yeah.

I mean, they don't just live underground. They can go outside. I don't think the dwarves are going out much. Then maybe not much. I mean, it's you know how often how often are you outside? See, proper Josh. Andy, how often are you outside? Um, what do you want? Like amount of hours a day? Yeah, how many hours a day are you outside? 24 hours a day. How many hours? On an average day? Let's say in the summer.

Okay. Not much. Not much. An hour. 0.1. Hour in the summer. Okay. Not much. Not much. An hour. 0.1. Hour in the pool. Right, exactly. So it's like, that's no different. Just because you live underground, they're going to spend time outside when they need to spend time outside. One of these is going to be my driver, right? No. Can you farm underground? Dwarves can't drive. Dwarves can't drive? No. They're four feet tall. Four to five. I don't care about the height. I'm just going upon, this is what they actually know how to do. But 1,000 of them could carry you everywhere.

That they could do. They could carry you like a kind of a crowd surfing transportation model. I'm going to teach one to drive. Which one of you? Yeah, you just have to get them a small vehicle. Yeah. Or a booster seat.

I do think that having an army would be worth it. Because they're an army, if my house cannot be... They can't generate enough revenue, I think I could take someone else's house with an army. And then therefore, I have a free house. Yeah. I mean, dwarves to me, they they're so mysterious they're always hidden no one knows they exist that's how they survive they're so little. I feel like they must get their food underground I'm still on the food team. You're on the

underground farm. They're only eating potatoes and onions and carrots. Yeah. They're so sturdy they gotta be getting good protein. You think they're they're taking down like a deer and bringing it back underground? I think so. That's a long way to go. They don't have elevators and stuff, right? No.

So you gotta walk out of the mine? You said they don't know electricity. Yeah, but you can make an elevator without electricity. Oh, like a pulley system. What? Yeah, Jason, Jason. There was machines. Don't act too surprised here. There are no you don't act too surprised There are we're gonna look dumb that don't use electricity How do you think people got down into mines before they could install?

Ladders long ladders doesn't need a generator just need some real heavy Okay, so we're going to our story. I'll take the army Charlie from the website. We're taking the army Yeah, I'm taking the army. You don the website, we do it. You're taking the army? Yeah, I'm taking the army. You don't want all those needs, Matt Mike? I do. I'm taking all the free stuff. OK. OK.

Jason wants the power. I'm going to get all the free stuff I want with an army. Would it have changed if I just told you they're workers? Yeah. So the word army is what you actually want. Yeah, I want an army. Yeah, that's fair. That'd be awesome.

Charlie from the website. Your army's not taking over nothing. My army's not going to do anything. I'm not going to send them to war or battle. I'm not going to hurt anyone, but I have an army. You want to have. Yes, I want to have an army. Yes.

I mean, that's just. Who of us among us? We're not just a thousand axe-carrying dwarves. Yeah. That'd be pretty sweet. So long as I don't have to feed them. They self-sustain, you know, they can feed themselves. Because that's a lot of money.

Right, but where are they going to live here? Underground! Digging here is very difficult. We got that caliche or whatever it is. Yeah, in Arizona, hard to dig. No basement homes. Well, hold on, I got a to dig. No basement homes. I got a question. I got a question for you guys. Is that real?

Or is this bull crap by Big Pool in Arizona, where they're like, hey, good. Let me set the table, because no one on Earth knows what you're talking about. This is a very geographically specific. None of our homes, very few homes, I won't say none, very few homes have basements. A lot of places in the country people have basements.

We also have lots of pools and very hard ground and granite and hard rock and this rock that Mike is talking about is like caliche, which is a really dense hard rock that pool companies charge you four X to blow out of the ground so that they can put a pool in. They quote you one thing. Here's what they do. They come in and they say, I'm going to build this pool. I designed it. It's great. It's a, it's $20,000.

This pool is $20,000. Now, if we run into Kaleechee, if we, I don't know if it's here or not. I just did your neighbor's pool. We didn't run into any No that in this area. Yeah Yeah, but if we run into it here, I've got to get different machinery. Yeah, it's much harder days Yes now classified they literally got a hard hard dig. Yeah, and so I'm gonna have it's too hard for us I have to hire us an easy dig discount. They're not like this one was a breeze. Here's half off yeah, he's like I gotta hire twice as many dwarves to get this right dog right and It's gotta be complete nonsense. It's got I mean everywhere here

Microscopically examining the soil. There's a little bit. I hit a rock. I hit a rock charge Charge them quadruple. Yeah, no, that is a real thing. They're all sham artists, not pool artists. As you normally would call them. You guys wanna move on to the next question? Yes. Charlie from the website, would you rather be able to see through physical things, clothes, walls, doors,

or be able to see through figurative things, lies, false promises, fake feelings, dishonesty. Oh man, this is so easy. Cause I can tell you right now, I don't think I want to see through the lies, the fake feelings. You want to live in your fake bubble. You want to live in your fake bubble. You want to live in a world where you are lied to.

I think in, well I do live in a world where I'm lied to, we all do. And I, like, I am not a proponent for lying or saying that that's good and right and that's how it should be, but it is the world we live in. And I don't know if we could handle, as human beings, knowing everyone's genuine thoughts.

I just don't know if we could handle it. It's not, you're not knowing. You're not a mind reader. You're not a mind reader. It is what they are sharing with you. Like, let me give you a hypothetical example. Okay, totally hypothetical. Let's say you're meeting with a pool company.

Okay. Okay. Yes! And Let's say you're meeting with a pool company. Okay. Okay. Yes! And they say to you, you know what? And they go, oh oh! We're charging you for a hard dig no matter what you say. That's the kind of company we run. Other companies might be honest.

We're not. Would you like to hire us? That would be a situation where you could say, no I do not. You're a liar. You're lying, you're faking me out. do not. You're a liar. You're lying. You're faking me out. I want to hire somebody else.

But then you're going to get the next person that comes, and they're going to say the same exact thing. And then the next person is going to say the same. And you're just going to be like, man, this sucks. This world sucks. Why is everybody bad? You are all, you already believe that. You already believe that.

You already live in that world. Right now, you already believe that everybody's a liar. And that is not a world that's You already live in that world. Right now you already believe that everybody's a liar and that is not a world that's fun to live in. But you don't know. You don't know which ones are not the liars because they're sprinkled throughout. Some people are honest. Yes.

They are honest people. Hard workers. I don't know about that. The dwarves for one. Well sure. Yeah they can't lie right? No. They have an honor system.

Yeah. So look, and also- That's what I'm taking. That would be- To see through the kind of false promises, fake feelings. It would be so incredible. Yeah. You don't like pretense.

You don't want some like- Well, and like, when you have that, it's literally you can trust everything you hear. There would be so much- You just know. I mean, you're not actually hearing the truth, but you know the truth. Imagine living in a world where you know- That would feel good.

You know what is true and what is not true. Man, that would be painful. You're just saying you would know when people are telling the truth. You don't know everything that's true. It doesn't give you special knowledge. But I know when it's a lie. I don't even know how helpful seeing through walls and doors is.

I mean, are you playing first person shooter? I guess that would be helpful. Because wall hacks are very good. I mean, I guess you could translate that into actual art form. I mean, it just doesn't do me a lot of good to look at that giant bank vault and be like, yeah, there is money in there.

I think I know there's money in there where's the cash right hold on let me use my x-ray vision it's in the register I found it that big thing mark money it's in there you know I know how many 20s you got in there you know okay let me let me tell you this. You just glance over towards the kitchen, and you're like, I don't know, what's in the fridge? I can see. I know what's in the fridge from all the way from over here. Now you don't have to pay for that stupid upgraded window.

Right? What is that thing all about? Is that thing working out for the fridge companies? It's so special. The window. We're talking about the fridge with the window where you go knock it. You knock on the window

You know mr. Fridge, you know what's more valuable would be any milk in there like a really good camera that you can just see everything On your phone those those exist now. I don't have one of them. I do have the knock knock fridge You have a knock knock fridge. How often are you going knock knock? I? There I don't knock knock fridge ever. You never use it. I have never ever I mean when I first got it you Not not fridge is this ability I? Could see through the front of my fridge who cares if they got a stand there I got a gotta be right there this shit this needs to be how the superpower works you have to walk up to the wall and Knock knock knock knock. Yeah, Mr. Money, are you in there? Okay, hold on. Let's cut. I do want to figure

out a good use case essentially for this X-Ray vision. Where would it be actually valuable? When you're in high pressure war situations. Which I don't find myself in often. No, I don't either. You have an army Which I don't find myself in often. No, I don't either. You have an army and you don't find yourself in war. No, I told you. Well, because the army takes care of that. He's not in the war. No, no, no, but in our normal, real lives.

When do I need to see through stuff? When would it be helpful? I'll tell you one thing that would be really helpful for me. There's some traffic around the corner. There's genuinely helpful. I am so comically a scaredy cat. Like my reactions are absurd. Just the over the top, you know the videos,

you'll be scrolling reels and you'll see scare videos where people have these ridiculous reactions. That's me, that's me every time. If your wife just filmed those, you would have a poppin' Instagram channel. Shut your mouth. Shut up. Yeah, but being able to know if someone is around a corner for me is literally just, I don't have to scream. I don't have to walk around the corner and scream.

You would be an incredible scarer yourself. Oh, I know exactly when they're coming. No, dude, like the other day, we were in the office. I tried to get one of our employees, Schneider. I noticed that- Oh, you tried to scare him. Yeah, like the light snuck behind the door. He left his light off in his office.

I was like, well, it's already dark. Okay, I'm gonna hide behind the door. Only he noticed that the door was slightly more ajar than when he had left, so I got totally busted, but it's like... You would be a better criminal. You would be a better criminal. You would, because when you're being pursued, you'd know where everybody was at all times that are coming after you.

You know how easy it would be to win at hide and seek? I mean, both sides, both sides, because as the seeker, I'm gonna find you immediately. Is there professional hide and seek? Yes there is. So you could win like a thousand dollars a year on that? More than that, I saw this- You could see through the ground to see if Calici's in there. Yeah, that's right, I could still prove a book.

You've worked for a pool company. It's not, this is more dirt. I refuse to know- We find out that that is not a real thing ever. Did you really dig footings out? Yeah, I did and it's real Kalichi. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's it's very difficult. Is there anywhere where it is not existing in Arizona? Yes I don't know but is there anywhere where they are going to pull is gonna go where it doesn't exist Probably not. Yeah, are they stopping on purpose of inventing a machine to cut through this so they can keep the hard dig costs?

But it's like, they forget to bring that one. Oh, yeah. Just bring that one. You know the major pool companies, they own that machine. They're not renting. They own that machine. They're just like, yeah, but I got to go back and get

the other one. I didn't gas it up this morning. All right. I got one more for you guys. Sienna from Twitter writes in, would you rather have every song you hear for the rest of your life always be an absolute perfect match for your current mood? Okay, that's good.

So that's kinda like your own movie soundtrack or something, right? Yeah, a little bit. Or just when you're upset, sometimes you wanna, you're like, I gotta get it out. Dun, dun, dun. I gotta put the emo on. Oh, okay, so more of it.

Cause tonight will be the night. Sometimes you gotta do that, man. You ever hear that come on, you're like, I didn't know I was in that mood. Or always, so every song perfectly matches your mood, or every song always unlocks a forgotten memory or emotion from the past. Because there's nothing, music is magic like that.

Yeah. It is incredible. You will hear a song, an older song, and it will bring you back to where you were when you heard it or how old you were. If you are young right now, let's say you're a teenager. You're talking to me, got it. If you're a teenager,

you don't understand the superpower yet, right? Yeah, our parents understood it when we were young and we thought they were dumb. It's incredible when you put on a song that transports you right back to your teenage years and you're like, oh, I there's certain songs where I just remember like the car I was in, the street I was on, the table I was sitting at, wherever. The school dance I was at.

Yeah. You know, that type of stuff. I mean, and it doesn't happen that often, but when it happens, it is real, it is powerful, it is emotional. I think that's what I would do. And if I could do that every single time I turn on any song I can have some kind of great memory recalled I mean that's like one of the best questions we've ever heard of now Mike if you had the ability to

Have a song match your perfect mood and that's a station. Let's say right you just flip that station on Would you listen to that station all the time? Do you want it to match your mood? A lot I do. Okay. But then it becomes a question of, sometimes when you're scratching that itch, I'm angry, I need some anger music.

Do I stay? You stay angry. Do I stay angry or longer because I'm angry but a banger comes on and I'm like, oh yeah, this is good stuff, feed the rage and then I just end up but a banger comes on, and I'm like, oh yeah, this is good stuff. Feed the rage, and then I just end up in a loop. What would be funny is if we each had a station, and you could tune into the other person's station to see how they're doing.

How is Mike feeling? That would be nice. Oh, don't talk to him today. You're like, oh, actually he's doing pretty good. It's a beautiful morning. So which one are you going with? I'm going nostalgia. Yeah, I'm taking the memories for sure. We'll take a break and we got some more, we'll move on to That's a great question. All right. We'll start here.

Paul from the website. You are the last person on earth. Okay, great. Everything else on earth is unchanged. I just got up here. Okay, great. We did it. We did it, everybody.

We did it. Solitude. Yeah, this will be interesting. You're the last person on Earth. The Earth itself is unchanged, so all the stores are still there. Everything inside them remains unchanged. Everything on Earth just poof, right? You're the last person.

Would you want one person you know, one person you know to be with you, or every year 10 random people spawn right next to you. I have questions. Yes, questions. Okay. Every year, is it 10 more? Yes. Yes. Oh, well then that's the answer. You want more- Because you're trying to repopulate. Are you trying to mate? Well, yeah, I mean a little bit. I mean, I care about-

He doesn't need to. It's repopulating ten people at a time, man. I care about humanity, about the human race. When have you cared about humanity on the spitballers before? But I'm just saying, like, one, I- I just referred to him like he's a species. Are you looking to mate? You gotta save the earth.

So. So every year 10 random spawns. The first day, the first week, and the first week when you are completely the last man on earth, awesome. I agree with you, Mike. Yeah. Just incredible. But that will.

It'll wear off. Quickly wear off, and it will become so sad and depressing and lonely. And I think that if you had one other person with you, even if it's the person you're closest to, you love the most, you're going to experience that same thing. It's not enough people to not become lonely. You'll become lonely.

You'll become lonely together. And I think sure, every year having 10, 20, 30, 40 people, 10 years from now there's 100 people, there's a little bit of life happening, more things can get done. Oh, lovely, there's some, more than 100 people maybe, right? Because then you have people making babies. Sure, yeah.

So you are rehab, but you lose anybody that you know. It's 10 random people. It is random. Like what are the odds? Oh yeah. How many of those people are you gonna like? Yeah, how many people out of 10 do you watch? 10 random.

I think that's a generous one. Do you go through the 10 that- Yeah, I think one. Like do you go through the 10 that spawned and you're like, all right, you're Nebraska. I need you to settle over there. Right. Me and the cool people.

Right. We're in Camp Awesome. It's funny, because if I was the last person on Earth, the difference between knowing that this was going to happen and not knowing is everything. If you knew that 10 people will spawn a year from now, you could go on. But if you actually thought no one would ever,

like you're alone forever and you're, like do you, are you going to wanna live? Are you trying to live as long as you can? If you're all alone? That is a legitimate question. If you are completely by yourself forever, there is no one else there and you know it, and you know it. If you are completely by yourself forever, there is no one else there, and you know it, and you know it.

And you know it. There's still animals. Sure, but would you? There's dogs. Would you strive for the longest life possible? Or would you just feel like I don't even wanna live? That is the question. Eventually, you're just so, I don't know,

what are you living for? It's a great question. It's deep. It is. I mean if you but if you knew that there's a hope for somebody to show up you're you're right you would have a reason to live. The knowledge is powerful and what and and I want to add something to this so every year 10 random people spawn right next to you I want to start that first year with none. Oh you want a year off? I want yeah I know they're coming. So now I got something to live for.

Right. Oh, do you like spend the year building like houses for these people? Houses already exist. Oh, that's true. First of all, I'm not capable of building a house. So, literally can't. And second, too much caliche.

Yeah, exactly. They can have the pick of the litter. Everything's here, yeah. I mean, we're all living in mansions. you know? And they spawn on you, so you probably in that year, you just need to get to the best place. Yes. Yeah, you need to get to the ocean. We're hiking to, oh, that's a good point. You can't stay here. If there's no people, there's no power. I can't make it to the ocean. I like the idea of Jason all alone trying to get to Hawaii by himself. Oh, I'm sitting here thinking, I'm sitting

here thinking I gotta walk. Car still exists. Yeah, you can still use a car. I can get, yeah, for sure. I'm going to the beach. But you can't get into a boat and get somewhere. I can't get into a boat and get somewhere? Do you think you could, like- By myself.

By yourself, could you go, I mean, all the boats are abandoned. Could you find one and get to Hawaii? No! No! No! Hawaii? Cause they could spawn on you, then you got Hawaii to yourself. No! No! What? No! Hawaii? I couldn't-

Cause they could spawn on you, then you got Hawaii to yourself. That would be ideal. There is no chance. Can you auto-pilot a boat? Figure out how to do that? There is no chance I could find Hawaii. If you gave me-

All these people spawn on him in the middle of nowhere on a boat. If you gave me- He's been lost. They all just missed the boat. They all go straight in the water. If you gave me a billion dollars, one billion dollars, but by myself, I can't talk to any human for advice

because in theory that- On how to do it. On how to do it. But I have a billion dollars. I can have any resource I want, but completely on my own. I will die before I ever find Hawaii. There's no chance in the world I could find Hawaii. Is it funny to you to think that this is what the world was?

It was people leaving on purpose to find things? That's so insane. That is so insane. Psychopaths. Right? Not only do they do that, but they're like... And they leave their families. Like, if I go that direction,

am I eventually going to fall off of the planets? That's true. Like there's only one way to find out? Like no! Set sail! Like we will never find that out if I'm in charge. So then they're like, don't worry I'll come back. How can you get back?

How do you know how to get back here? I guess I'll take the 10 spawn. I feel like we're not defending our significant others or something here though. Like you would wanna be, you just wanna write it out with your- I don't need 10 new people to hate every year. Okay, so you're keeping your wife?

So you're taking the one? Yes. No, that's the question. Is it the wife? Is it the wife? Yeah, it'll be my wife. Okay, all right. All right, let's go here.

Aaron from the website writes in, your local wizard is back. Oh no. And says that he can snap his fingers and one of the following two things will happen. Your happy moments and memories will become happier. Or your sad moments will become less sad. Which do you choose and whatever you choose will happen

for everyone else in the world. Ooh. That last part makes it interesting. I think, I think, I think I can. I think, I, sad moments are important. Do they weigh more? I, sad moments are important. Do they weigh more? I don't, I think that when you have sad moments, they teach you what happiness is.

You know what I mean? Like you don't know happy without sad. So I want my happier moments to be happier. Some people have really sad moments. Well, that was the part that made it go, oh shoot, if I could take away the the sad moments, the trauma, like you don't take them away, you're just making their lesson, mitigating the trauma. Yes. Man, so what's more important mitigating the trauma or up in the night? I've always said, like, you kind of look back like we all have kids that we had early days when they were born

and you know, it's hard taking care of newborns and toddlers and stuff, but then like now, you kinda just don't really think about what was hard back then. So like, your mind does this a little bit already. It already makes the sad less sad, right? Time heals all wounds. Yeah, okay.

There's a phrase for that. That's fair, that's fair. So So like happier moments have like I remember happy moments with more clarity than sad moments really I think I Feel like most people remember maybe I remember losses more than wins Bad more than good. I think there's my memory like white washes away the like bad memory like white washes away the like bad. Yeah, I mean, if this was just me, if this is just me, it's an easy, I want to pick happy over sad. I don't feel like I've got a bunch of people to experience that because no, I'm saying I don't I don't have a lot of like sad trauma

things that, you know, I wrestle with, but I know a lot of people do. And so it's like, it really depends on each person. We're like, what, you know. You gotta make a choice though. Whatever you choose is gonna happen to the rest of the world. I want the world to be happy. I want the world to be happier and happier. So I'm gonna choose the happy.

But is the world- Al, you're saying more happy for you? Yeah, that's what I would choose as well. Is the world happier if, happier is magnified or the happier if sadness is mitigated? Oh. Oh. I think it's the sadness. I think you mitigate the sadness of, in the, look, not a psychologist, not a doctor, but

the, at least the studies I have seen have been like, what's more important, to think positive or to think negative less? Right. And the answer that I see the positive or to think negative less? Right. And the answer that I see the most is Think negative less. Think negative less. Okay. So.

Might convince me. That's the way I'm gonna go. So obviously I've heard that, which makes it fact. Right, no, I mean. I haven't looked anything up, but it sounds good. Well, that one's heavy. This one's just as important. Kate from Pace.

According to Chad GPT. Oh, no. Just heavy. This one's just as important. Kate from Pace. According to Chad GPT. Oh, boy. Just looking. Oh, no. I just asked what's more impactful for humans. What does a robot think? Being happier or being less sad? Being less sad would have more impactful effect on humans overall than just being happy.

There we go. I mean, if you're less sad, you're also happier. Right. It is kind of... It is kind of a trick. But your future moments, though, you know what I mean, if you're less sad, you're also happier. Right. It is kind of a trick. But your future moments, though, you know what I mean? Future sad moments would be less sad versus future happy moments happier, too. Yeah.

This one's way, way easier. Kate from Patreon, you'll be able to replace one finger on either hand with one of the following. Which do you choose? A refillable lighter a six inch stainless steel blade not retracted just it's not your inches you're replacing your you're full-on like for it or Edward Scissor yes a rechargeable 2,000 lumen flashlight. How big is it?

Finger size. Okay. Yeah. All right. A spork, so you got a utensil at all times, or a Sharpie that never goes dry. All right, I'm down to two. I'm guessing you're down to the blade, but I don't know the second one. I don't want a six inch blade.

No, dude, that's unwieldy, man. That is awful. I think it's too dangerous. That's gonna cause a lot inch blade. No, dude, that's unwieldy, man. That is awful. I think it's too dangerous. That's gonna cause a lot of problems. It's also, it's way too big. It's not a finger-sized knife. This is a six, I mean, just imagine one of your fingers was six inches long. Would you go middle finger?

Yeah, I think so. I think it would give you the- It's already your longest. It would be like a Wolverine claw at that point. Right. Which hand? Dominant or non-dominant? My right hand, which is my stronger arm. I write with my left, and I can't imagine writing,

you know, if you can't write with a whole inch. Which is your stabbing hand? Right, my right hand is my stabbing hand. So no, that one's out for me. I'm between the flashlight and the Sharpie. OK, but if the Sharpie, so that has to go on. Which finger is the Sharpie? It has to go on your writing hand.

And then what finger? Yeah, is it your pointer? Can you manage to write if it's your pinky? I would choose my left hand. That's my writing hand. Yeah, not your stabbing hand. Not my stabbing hand. And I would choose my middle finger.

Because I think when I write, like I can. No, but like if you were signing something with your hand, if you have a touch screen, you sign with your middle finger? I have before. It looks dumb when you do it. I probably use... So you go middle finger. I'm going middle finger.

I'm going pointer. Oh, you want the pointer. I want my pointer. I use my pointer all the time. You're gonna have to grab it. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. You're gonna have to pinch it like it's a pencil. You shouldn't have to grab it. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. You're gonna have to pinch it like it's a pencil. You shouldn't have to grab it. You can't just stick one finger out and.

It's a solid Sharpie finger, man. No, but I'm saying your handwriting, you're gonna be writing not with your wrist. No, I'm good, man. Wow. Yeah, I don't know. So wait, are you considering, what are you considering besides the Sharpie?

The flashlight. I think the flashlight's pretty good. I mean, my eyes are so bad. You do have a phone in your pocket and a watch that can do flashlight. Oh, dude, I'm going rechargeable flashlight, because this thing is metal, right? Or is this the flashlight that made it? Yeah, it's metal. It's a metal.

Perfect. Because I could still play my guitar, and now I've got a slide built into my hand. OK. OK. Nice. So you're going guitar hand. So which hand is your?

Is your guitar hand your stabbing hand? No, my stabbing hand is my pick hand. OK, your pick hand is your stabbing hand. So my left hand will get the flashlight. Oh, the slide would get the, yeah. The fret hand. So no one needs a refillable lighter? Are we in a post-lighter society? So my left hand, my left hand would get the flashlight. Oh, the slide would get the, yeah. The fret hand. So no one needs a refillable lighter?

Are we in a post-lighter society? I think so, because like, I have a lighter. And I have never needed to refill that. Braaagg! I'm just saying like, have you ever refilled a lighter? The only time I use a lighter at home is for when we're doing birthday cakes when we're doing outdoor fire no the birthday cake we got the electronic lighter wait what it's like you don't know that it's like a basically like a little taser almost where it works with

the light birthday it has two metal prongs and then you turn it on using those long oh the barbecue lighter yeah ours is a ours is a rechargeable it's cool it's like you're nodding over there. Has everybody got one of these cool things? I do. They're great. You use them for, you know, you're lighting a candle. It's quick? Yeah. They're good when camping too because in the wind they still work great. Well I'll be darned. Can I have one of those instead of a finger? You can have the flashlight. Hmm. Or a... No one cares about the spork then. No, I don't want to eat with that. I mean my hand is basically a spork. Yeah. Your hand is basically a spork.

Well said. It's nature's spork. And so the blade, no one wants the blade? It's too big and too unwieldy. It's too big. You think if it was a blade the size of your middle finger you'd choose it? If you told me that it was like a Swiss army knife where my finger is regular But I could flip a blade out of it Okay, now we're now we're on to something big because it's safe you could sleep Yeah, you could because right now sleeping you'd have to sheath it anything man like your pockets are doomed Everything you do is ruined if you have a six inch knife on your finger. Oh, do they not let you on a plane? No, there's no way they let you on a plane.

Does Wolverine fly? Well, he can retract them. Oh, that's true. No, but his whole bones are crafted with metal. He can't fly? He can fly. In his own private Quinjet. No, he can fly on, yes, American Airlines.

No problem. No, he'll go through the metal detector. I know, and it'll buzz, and then they'll say, OK. And then they'll take it. They'll scan him, and he fly on American Airlines. No problem. No, he'll go through the metal detector. I know and it'll buzz and then they'll say okay and then they'll scan him and he'll be alright. They'll scan him and he's got metal in his. You think people that have like metal... Oh yeah, metal hips and stuff like that? Yeah, they can't fly because they can't remove their hips. That's one tiny area. It's not your whole body. Well, I've had a major surgery, Mike.

He did have a major surgery. Yeah, I'm sorry, I've got adamantium. You could strip. I mean he might need a full strip search. Does adamantium pick. I mean you know metal does that show up in the metal detector. For sure it does yeah. It's the strongest of fake metals. Of course it does. But I mean you might. It's the strongest of all fake metals. That we've ever invented. I think unobtanium is a little bit stronger. Oh get out of here. And I hate that name so much. Oh, it's the, it's, when I remember the first time I- Can you obtain it? No.

I remember the first time I heard it. Unobtainable. My eyes rolled into the back of my skull like a full 360. Is that Marvel? Is that a Marvel? No, that's Avatar. It's like James Kearman. That's the best you could come up with. That's, see, look.

It's unobtainium. Uses Papyrus unobtainium. Yeah, he fills in the gaps. We are falling. We are falling. So Mike, you're taking the flashlight? Yeah, I'm going flashlight. I'm going flashlight as well.

Would you feel invincible with a blade? No. No, me neither. A flashlight is, how bright was it? If I had a 2000 lumen. 2000 lumen, that is really good self defense. That's true. Ain't nobody charging you if they can't see nothing. Light your eyes. Light man. Alright, 2000 lumen flashlight it is. Al, I think we're gonna draft now. Let's do it. That worked

for you? Yeah. The Spitballers Draft. All right, the man who got out of his own scat. Yeah. Gets the draft first. We are drafting the worst places to be stuck overnight. The worst places you'd have to spend the night. Where do you go with number one? Mmm, there is a number one to me really that I hope you don't pick. Well, I can't imagine I will I mean

These are these are Very Objective yeah, they're just you know, there's it's not like what color do you want? This is any place in the world. I did have a thought about this because while you're thinking about that pic. What is the worst part in your mind? And maybe this will be answered by our answers, but what is the worst part of being stuck someplace overnight? Is it the fear?

Is it the potential fear of something happening? Is it the real danger? Is it, you know, what is it? And comfort. Yeah, I think all of those will apply and sometimes there are multiple at once. Okay, all right, what are you going with? This is somewhere I'm stuck overnight.

That's right. All right. You'll spend the night someplace. This is gonna be very specific. Oh, okay. But it really hits everything. I think you're afraid. I think there's real danger. Okay. I think you're very- Al, I'm so afraid this draft is about to go real bad. You're very uncomfortable. I am stuck upside down on a roller coaster. OK. Oh, OK. No, that's a great pit. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Because sometimes that happens to people. It's like, oh, we'll be back in the morning. Wait, does that happen? Yeah, it does. What do you mean sometimes, we'll be back in the morning and I'll leave? No, not in the morning.

We don't rescue at night. People have been stuck upside down. I can't see you. I don't have a flashlight on my finger. I picked the knife. Up was a bad choice. I can cut you out though. That's a good answer. Okay. All right. I think that's the level of specificity we're in here. Yeah, that's fine. You get charged extra for a hard rescue. Okay. You probably do. You probably, they have to bring something special in. You're paying for it on a a line item You want the jaws of life for the jaws of light 2.0? All right, I'm going with open ocean tiny raft. Oh, yeah. Okay

Ocean if I have to spend the night, I mean you are in getting a sick tan At the night what? Is crisp in my body. I'm just saying, like, if I'm stuck out there, I'm trying to make the best of it. The night will turn into morning. It's the night. Yeah, I was thinking all day. Yeah, no, man.

I guess it's an overnight draft. It's not worth places to lay out in the sun. Open ocean tiny raft is my first pick. OK. That's just the scale and size of the ocean. There's nothing I think they can make you feel more boat in the ocean is vulnerable than that. So Mike, you are up. You got two picks. I'm going to go with a porta potty. Yeah. Oh, that's a good pick. Yeah. Oh, that would suck. Uncomfortable, stinky. Yes. The

dollar amount to stay in a used porta potty all night? What do you need? I mean, I'll go to the deucers. What do you need? We got to go to Josh. Let's set the low water mark here. One night in a very used porta potty. $50. Would you try to sleep or just sit?

No, I try to sleep. Make time go by faster. So in the corner? How much? $3,000. I'm shocked it's in the thousands. My number was $5,000, so we're not too far. OK. Matt, what do you think? I was going to start at $1,000,000. I'm shocked it's in the thousands. My number was 5K, so we're not too far away. OK.

All right. Matt, what do you think? I was going to start 1,000, but. Yeah, there he is. There's our guy. There's our guy. There he is. Yeah.

It's more for me. So we're going with the Porta Potty. That's a great pick. And man, I got one. I don't know if it would come back or not. We're going to go, I'm going to go with a ski lift. Ah, yeah. OK, it would not have come back.

It's interesting. It's on my list. I did not have that, but that would be terrible. Very similar to my roller coaster. A ski lift. But you got the elements. Well, not only do you have the elements, you're stuck. You can't jump down. That's like a 20-foot drop.

You're toast. 20 feet into the snow, I might do. It might be higher. 20 feet. I mean, you better hold it. That's like 8 feet of snow. Look, you can't escape this situation. You've got to spend the night there.

And it's going to be very cold. I like that. That's like the roller coaster. You're not upside down, but it's freezing. I mean, upside down all night, can you survive that? No. No, you would not. You would not.

No, you could survive that. No, you can't. I don't think so. You said that very definitively. Did you try to do this? I feel very confident that overnight, that would be it. Yeah. What, you would just die of time being upside down?

Yeah. Blood in your head or something? If you survive, you're going to have problems. You look this up, but I'm going to make a guess right here of how many hours you could survive upside down. I think you could do 16 to 18 hours upside down. Purely upside down? It's just a guess.

I'll come back to you. I was just going to be like, you're fine. Yeah, it's probably. Weeks. Do you have food and water? I think you could be all. I was just going to be like, you're fine. Yeah, it's probably. Weeks. Do you have food and water? I think you could be all right. He's having to search again, so you didn't get the answer he liked.

Well, he's typing again. What I'm seeing is it's very short. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah, loss of consciousness in one to two minutes, serious physical harm in about 10 to 15. Oh, that's not true. And fatality could be in 30 minutes.

That's what I have. No, no. Where's that from? Your butt. Chachie BT. Okay, but are they sourcing it anywhere? You can hang upside down for more than two minutes to not, and not go unconscious.

Well, now I'm on it. I've seen lots of roller coaster people stuck upside down and they're all awake. All right, are you up, Andy? Yes, I'm up. All right, Jason you up, Andy? Yes, I'm up. All right, Jason took a, or you took a ski lift. I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna go with... Ah, man.

This is a weird one because I don't think anyone's really stealing from each other very much. So I'm gonna go war zone. Actually, so far. Oh, a war zone. I'm going to war zone. Oh, that's a good pick. I mean, why, why, that, the fear of exploding at any minute. Oh, a Warzone. I'm going to Warzone. Oh, that's a good pick. I mean, why that?

The fear of exploding at any minute? Oh, it will be terrible. I mean, worse places to be stuck overnight. Yeah, it would be pretty bad. I'm going to Warzone. Yeah. Did you have something you discovered? No.

Everything I'm looking at is like, don't try to sleep upside down. It is very dangerous. OK, yeah. But I'm not going to try to. Yeah. No, every single thing prior to Warzone had been on my list. So my list was shrinking.

But Warzone is a very, very good. I mean, I don't understand if you're in a battlefield. Obviously, every single person there will have to sleep. If you're in a five-day battle, you person there will have to sleep. You know, if you're in a five day battle, you're going to have to sleep. I've never understood how you do that. I think you catch like tiny little pockets of sleep. You don't know. I don't think you get a night. You get a yeah, you get like a micro nap. Not like a downtime like, Hey, hey, hey, timeout. Everybody. What do you say, 6 AM? Yeah, guys.

We wake back up, get back at this? It's 10 PM. Yeah. Can we call this off until at least 7? I'm trying to get my eight hours here. All right. OK, so I've got two picks. So far, you're spending the night upside down

on a roller coaster, which I am learning you are dead. Yes, yes. So. So I have died. That was yes. So I have died. That was the 101. You have died. You have died quickly. And you know, that goes right into my next pick,

which is a cemetery. Oh. Yeah, it's on my list. Interesting. I do not want to sleep in a cem- and of course, this is a haunted cemetery. Is there none? Yeah, I feel like-

Well, there are some nice looking cemeteries. Like, you go and it's like, that's it. They don't haunt the nice ones? I guess maybe at night. I've never been to a cemetery at night. I feel like Jason the bougie ghost would be at the nicest cemetery you could find. Exactly.

But that's not what I'm picking. Hold on. You're saying when Jason is a ghost, he will haunt a bougie cemetery. Of course he will. Yeah, for sure. He'll be above ground crypts. And that is 100%. Above ground crypt, yes. A mausoleum. Very good. Yes. He's

a mausoleum ghost. I've started saving up for a mausoleum. He likes the finer things. But that's not the pick, I'm picking a rundown rickety couple of trees that... Rickety? Yeah. What in the cemetery is rickety? Oh, the gate. This has a gate. Oh, okay. A big metal, wrought iron gate that's just... Okay, I gotcha.

...flapping in the wind. Yeah, that thing in the wind is just... Yeah. You've got one of those wooden roller coasters on the property. Real rickety. Okay, and I'm gonna go with a place I hope I never have to sleep overnight But you know this is made to sleep overnight is is a place Specifically intended okay, we're sleeping okay, and it's a jail cell

Mmm. I don't want to I don't want to spend the night in a jail cell all right not built for that bougie Jason Will not I don't know if I survived the night. I might have picked two deaths here on my list I have the open ocean and the war zone. Is there not a bidet? Trying to figure out what is the metal toilet like he passed away is like of non bougie All right, you had to wipe his bottom bed was a little too rough He didn't make it through the night. Oh, man.

To be fair, my death would probably come from the inmate. I'm not alone there. OK. All right. I'm going to follow up Warzone with top of a mountain peak. OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds pretty awesome. There's going to have some more. No, no, yeah, yeah. That sounds pretty awesome.

No, no, no, no. All right, I'm changing. No, you're gonna what? Top of Everest. No, no, no, I can be specific. Okay, yeah, you upgraded it, that's fine. Top of Mount Everest. How's that sound? That's fine, that's, I mean.

You can fall? Don't you sleep there? Look, when you, oh, people do, and they die there. Lots of them. Sure, yeah, no, I know. Cold, falling, wind, exposure, I don't wanna be there. I don't know if you fall when you're asleep. You could.

While you're sleeping? You could, yeah, you roll, man. Is it considered falling? If you roll off a cliff, it's considered falling. Is it, or did you roll off the cliff? Yes, you're falling. You're asleep and you roll. And you, yeah, and you go off the ledge. And you roll off the cliff. You're you're fall, you're asleep and you roll. And you, yeah, and you go off the ledge.

And you roll off the cliff. You're asking if that's falling. Did you fall down? No, no, that's not the same thing. The fall down, you fell, you died of a fall, right? Yeah, okay, no, when you say it that way, it sounds right. Yeah. But to say you fell off, you're like,

well, what happened, he stepped up, no, he rolled off in his seat. That's not a fall when you're laying down. That's my point. You never fallen off a bunk bed? Are you on a bunk bed on Everest? This is what I'm saying. No, no, no.

This is a good point. You just said you can't fall while laying down. Please retort my objection. You can even just say the couch. If you take a nap on a couch and you roll off, I rolled right off a bunk bed when I was a kid. Splat. Yeah, but. You can even just say the couch. If you take a nap on a couch and you roll off. I rolled right off a bunk bed when I was a kid. Splat. Yeah, but you rolled off.

You didn't fall off. Mm, you said it. I caught you. You rolled off. Ha ha! This is so dumb. This is the dumbest sidebar. If you're laying down, you can't fall.

Yeah, official verdict. You can't trip and fall. You can fall. You can only fall off of something. You can't fall. Yeah, you fall off. Yeah, you can fall. You can only fall off of something. You can't fall. Yeah, you fall off. Yeah, you're right. You can only fall off of something.

All right. We got there. All right, I'm up. Maybe. Porta potty and a ski lift. I'm gonna go with a lion exhibit. Ooh. That's not great.

Daniel. It's Daniel over here. I didn't say the den. It's an exhibit. So wait, you gotta go spend the night in a lion's pen. Yeah. There's Daniel over here. I didn't say the den. It's an exhibit. So wait, you got to go spend the night in a lion's pen. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah, that's a good pick.

That is a good pick. That sucks. That's called not sleeping. It's funny, because if you had just picked the Sahara or something, or like. Oh, you're probably fine. Oh, yeah, or your odds of running into a lion are low. Yes.

Lower than in the lion's den. Lower than in a lion's den. I just think that's a crafty pick. Yeah. Well, thank you. All right, so we got that one. And then the- Do they give up on life in a zoo though?

Lions? Yeah. Probably- Are they just like not as aggressive? They probably give up on hunting as much because they're fed giant stakes. And people. But they're not fed people.

But in a group of lions, if there's a human in there, they've got to be like, dude, we can't pass up this opportunity. Yeah. This guy's trying to sleep? I was born to run! This guy's trying to sleep? Wrong human! All right. I got one more. Mike, you got one more. Porta Potty ski lift lion exhibit. So It's like I got one more. Mike, you got one more. Porta Potty, ski lift, lion exhibit. So it's like, it's like Jason's, but I think in my opinion it's a big creepier. An upside down ski lift. No, no, no. I'm going abandoned hospital.

Yes. Okay. I had abandoned asylum on my list. Yeah, yeah. Same concept. I have haunted mansion. Yeah, these are all... The? Yes, in Disneyland. That'd be sick, man. I could handle that. So, abandoned hospital. Yeah, something... They're large and abandoned and dark. They're large and you're alone. It's creepy. The walls have seen many things inside of a hospital. That's a good one.

Like, the people in the cemetery, they were already that way when they got there. Right. Yeah, OK. I will close out my draft with the Amazon rainforest. Oh, you dead. Yeah, you're not making it. Yeah, I needed to match Jason's instant death

of the upside down roller coaster. If you find a spot in the rainforest, it will be wet. You will get bugs on you, and you'll probably be dead by morning. The amount of things that will crawl on you while you sleep is unfathomable. I don't care about it. And that does sound like the worst.

I don't, I literally think I care less about the Panther of the jungle, you know the the monster that you come in Yeah, and just destroy me then I care about the bugs the bugs in the rainforest the amount of creepy Foo there That sounds like some sort of God that lives in the forest. Oh, they're crazy ants, man. And scrambles your body. Yeah.

All right, so rainforests, that would be a problem. Yeah, apparently Papa Josh knows what those ants are. Dude, those things are crazy. What do they do? They're like monster-sized ants, and they'll eat anything in their path. Things are bigger there, right? These things are.

Everything's been scaled up in the rainforest? If you remember, there's a scene in Indiana Jones, the Crystal Skull, where there's ants involved. It's really, really bad CGI. But that's what they're supposed to be. Yeah, it doesn't sound good. OK, so I know what my last pick was. It wasn't on my list.

But as we started talking and thinking and and I was just like there is The worst place for me the worst place to sleep. I could not do it I could not handle it as very similar to my last pick but totally different because at the cemetery I'm just I'm sleeping on the ground. Yeah, I'm by a tombstone. It might be a nice cushy grass. Maybe but How about in a coffin? Oh, no. Yeah, I thought about that one.

Oh, my goodness. My claustrophobia would not. Like, I'm not, I don't consider myself as someone who has claustrophobia. I think everybody has coughing claustrophobia. I couldn't do it. I couldn't claustrophoria. You see some people, like, they sleep three days

in a buried coffin or whatever. I think Mr. Beast did it or something. I don't think I could do that. You'll hyperventilate. You'll die. Forget underground buried. Oh, just at the? Just like, I'm in a room.

I'm in my room. But there'll be some on his regular bed. On my bed. Yeah. So it'll be so cushy. Oh, man. But my room. But there'll be some- It's a coffin on his regular bed. On my bed. Yeah. So it'll be so cushy. Oh man, but you put- It will be cushy. As soon as you put that lid on, and I can't-

Then you close your lids. I can't- You can't see. I can't see with my lids open, Mike. There's no light in there. Let me ask you this as a sidebar, because we just finished up Jason with the upside down roller coaster,

cemetery, jail cell, and coffin. Mike with the Port with the porta potty ski lift line exhibit and abandoned hospital I've got the open ocean tiny raft the war zone the top of Mount Everest and the rainforest Quicker just said open ocean quick. Yeah, we were open ocean Yeah, you got a boat if you take the raft away. That's so much worse the sidebar here though If the requirement was you have to fall asleep and then you escape the place, which place could you not fall asleep? The open ocean.

Oh yeah, you can't fall, without the raft you could. Yeah, if you're in the raft you, oh, gentle waves. I'd fall asleep very nicely on that. Could you fall asleep in that cemetery if that was your way out of the cemetery? Yeah. I could do it in the coffin as well. If that was my way out, I would just calm down. If you knew that was your way out of the cemetery? Yeah. I could do it in the coffin as well. If that was my way out, I would just calm down.

If you knew that was your way out? Yeah. It's really knowing that I have to stay overnight that I couldn't do it there. The lion exhibit would be the hardest one mentally. That one in the war zone. Because you're like, if I fall asleep, I'm out of here, but if I don't stay awake,

you sleep with one eye open expression? So I don't know what the truth is about the Amazon rainforest. I couldn't sleep, I could never fall asleep feeling something crawl on me. Or hearing sounds of things crawling around you. I think that I could overcome. I mean I wouldn't like it, but I think I could overcome. But if I feel something on me, I'm gonna slap it away or whatever.

I couldn't just sleep comfortably with something crawling on me. I couldn't do it. In my mind, I think that the rainforest is, the ground is moving. Nobody took an elevator with Josh as one of the worst? I had an elevator on my list. Okay. Then my one that I thought would be- Did you have some others on the list? Yeah. If you're stuck there, so I assumed that in the morning people find you there.

Sure. I was like, your boss's office? OK, yeah. I had an airport runway. Good luck trying to sleep with jet engines. That's so ridiculous and funny. Yeah. I had an abandoned mine shaft.

Figured that would suck. Oh, man, just any- A swamp where crocodiles are at a wax museum Cuz you know they come to life. Oh and just to make me dumpster you're gonna think keep thinking you see people. Yeah, fair enough What did we learn today I've underestimated how long you can stay up. I really have Cuz I have heard the stories of people upside down, like when they're doing a caving thing and they get stuck upside down

and they have to rush to get them out. Yeah, cause they'll die. Cause they'll die. That's the key, the death. Yeah. Did you learn anything on today's show, Jason? I learned I want an army. Yeah, you were really into the army.

I think it'd be so- You've been wanting an army for longer than you've probably admitted I haven't wanted one until today, but now I know I actually would love to have an army. Yeah, all right Mike Did you we're we're moving on from lighters? Yeah, lighters. It's over Zippo you had a good run Not enough fire. No. Thank you everybody.

We'll see you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.