Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Father Weather & The Worst Parts of Being an Adult - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

Spit Hit for Jan 20th, 2025: On this show, we discuss manipulating the weather, rewinding time, and surviving without technology. We close down the show with a likely relatable draft of the worst parts of being an adult. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

This message is sponsored by Greenlight. Greenlight is a company that we've been using for years. Andy's family, Mike's family, you've probably been thinking about 2025 for a while, you know, and everything you want to do, like deciding where to take your kids on vacation, everything you have to do. What's your budget gonna look like this year? Looking ahead is important for your family, and as your kids get older, it's important to teach them the important life skills like financial literacy and is very easy to do with Greenlight. It's a debit card and money app made for families. It lets kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely. Parents, you send your money to your kids. You keep an eye on your kids' spending and their savings. There is a chores feature that we use nonstop. My youngest, this is how I get him to do chores.

There are one-time chores or recurring chores. He does them, he marks them off. He gets paid for them. He can save. Greenlight is a really easy, convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and families to navigate life together. Maybe that's why millions of parents and kids

are learning about money on Greenlight already. Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com slash Ballers. That's Greenlight.com slash Ballers to get started. Greenlight.com slash Ballers. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Welcome in. I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, I'm a badger, This is four of this is four out of ten. I think that's probably fair. Yeah, you get my worst No, no, but you could you could sense the doubt and I

Went blank I went blank. I had nothing prepared nothing in mind And that really felt true, right? You didn't prepare. That was about a four. Yeah. Thank you. Welcome in. We have Would You Rather on today's show. That's a great question, as well as a draft. We are drafting the worst parts of being an adult. So if you're an adolescent kid, teenager, you're going to learn some things today.

And maybe you'll be thankful that you are a kid. They won't learn a single thing. I know. I wasn't thankful. Or maybe they'll be fearful. No. They'll say, wait, this is gonna suck being a grown up. No, because when you're a kid and you hear grown ups complaining about things, you're

like, that's your problem, man. That's never gonna happen to me. I will never get old and I'm invincible. I'll never be a grown up. We should have a best part of being a grown up trap. Yeah, sure. We will. We'll do that. Cookies for dinner.

Just three rounds. Just three rounds. Cookies for dinner. Yeah, that's on the list. You can eat what you want. I still remember the very first time that I ever, when I moved out of my parents' house and I had my own home,

the very first thing I did was I went to Costco and I bought the largest package of red vines and I just ate them all the time. And whenever I wanted to eat them, I'd package of red vines and I just ate them all the time. And whenever I wanted to eat them, I'd eat some red vines. And I got so sick. I literally was throwing up red vines. I mean, I learned that lesson, balance, moderation. Yeah, it's not a joke when you're telling your kids

slow down on the sugar because your tummy's gonna hurt. Yeah, yeah, so we'll be drafting that at the end of today's show. Thank you for subscribing, following the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Tell your friends about the podcast. That's the best. If you wanna give us a gift, which I'm sure all of you,

at most moments of the day you're thinking, how could I give them a gift? How could I give back for everything they do for me? Tell your friends and family, which I was gonna combine into one word there your friend Framily yeah tell tell all your friendly About this show so that they can enjoy their Mondays as well. Let's get it going Would you rather

All right, I like this one. Tanisha over on Patreon says, would you rather have the ability to stop time for a day or to rewind time for a day? What are the exact advantages of stopping time for a day? Naps. You just said, but I mean. You wanted days where the naps didn't resume? Yeah.

I mean, like if you can stop time, you will never have to worry about being tired ever, ever. Cause if you have like, you could be going 75 down the freeway like, and a yawn hits you like, man, then you go beep. You do the, uh, out of this world, you push your fingers together, everything freezes or you, you Zach Morris time out and then you just lay down and have a little power nap. Okay. So you, you're interpreting this as this is a power you have over the next, for

the rest of your life. I was thinking you just got to do this. I was thinking you got to do it one time. That's how I read it as well. So I'm fine with either premise. I mean you need to settle on okay I love what you're doing with napping during these time. There would be no sleep But if this was need to sleep, right, but if this was the only one you got it would seem a real shame To be like guys. I got this wish I can stop time for a day It seems so I'm gonna take a nap like if you only had it one time would you use it why would you use it like I can't find the reason why it stopped time for a day other than like

nefarious theft okay that's I mean how would that even help you I mean stopping time for a day does not give you access to things. You just stop it when the vault's open. Yeah. You know? OK, so you're thinking, I was like, if I was like on, like, I had a loved one on their death bed and I'd stop time for one day, you get one more day with them. But then you don't get to spend any time with them.

They're frozen. Oh, they're frozen. Yeah. You're not hanging out with them. They don't have the power. You have the power. So you're just alone in both of these situations? Yeah, it's basically. Yeah, they're not hanging out with they don't have the power you have the power You're just alone in both of these situations. Basically like I'm gonna get more chores done Like I don't have time to clean the house. Hold on

So one time when you're super stressed out you just stop time for a day so you can calm down That's not the worst but if it's if it's just a one-off then the rewind is so much powerful More powerful more powerful. More powerful. More powerful. So much powerful. So much power. So much power. Yowzen. I mean, I guess the first-

Because that would correct the problem that happened. Yeah, something bad happens or you're just like, what would it be like to jump out of a plane without a parachute? And then just right before you get to the bottom. Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. What if rewind time for a day simply meant you could rewind time for a day and you just. Live from that moment.

Like you don't get to do anything. You just like if you had a really good day. Well, like Groundhog Day. You could rewind it and just live it again. Yeah. Well, I imagine that you could do that. You could either choose to do the same things you did, in which case the day would play out as it happened or you rewind the day would play out as it happened,

or you rewind the day, choose a different branch, that's the route I would go. I would want to see how different can the world be if I make different choices, and I think I'll be pretty disappointed. Well, considering you'll only get to see the outcomes for that next 24 hours of how they're different, you won't get to see long-term impact.

Yeah, no, I'll be like, well, it was pretty much the same day. I just saw a different movie. Now, if you had the ability to do either of these infinitely, yes, you could not sleep ever, right? Because you could get- Well, I mean, you're sleeping, but you have extra time. You could take a 12-hour,

every night you could sleep for 12 hours. Now, you still age, correct? You don't you have extra time you could take a 12 hour every night. You sleep for 12 hours now But you still age Correct. So what you're twice the physical that I mean Your physical no you're stopping time. So you do not age that it makes that time is stopped So time without time you're not age. This is like outside of time. Okay so then yeah that's that's incredible because you have infinite time then of to do the like the mundane things that are in the way of the of the fun stuff. So it would be in your advantage to maximize the 24 hours of stopping time for a day every time or would you because I imagine it's a little bit boring you don't have

family friends you don't get to do anything so that would you? That's why it's naps, man. But like, you get what I'm saying? Like, to maximize the lack of time passing, you should run that clock to 24 every day, but you might get a little bit lonely. Well, I think that in this question, you don't get to just pause time out, time in. It says you have the ability to stop time for a day.

Oh, it's just 24 every time. Or rewind for a day. And I'm telling you this, if you pause time for 24 hours and the whole world around you, nothing happened for 24 hours, I think it would be a nightmare. I do not think you'd like it. The novelty will wear off. You will be completely alone. You won't be able to do anything. I think it's a negative. I don't see any positive for stopping. Well, Mike was making the point. Maybe you sleep 12 at the 24, right? So you're always

super rested. And then the other 12, you, what do you do? You clean the house, you do the chores. Can you do that stuff? You just like your wife's like every time you come out of this thing, she's like, why is the house always so pristine? Saying the mundane things that get in the way of the moments really I'm really living like because that stuff has to get done like adult things have to be done and I mean all the times where it's the weekend right you finally have time off of work and the kids like dad let's go do this like I can't because this this adult stuff has to get done most of the adult stuff though is like

You know you got to go to the kids birthday party You got to go to the doctor appointment you it involves other people like Jason would this all change for you if you could bring One person with you each time No, no, no, I don't one person's not enough I mean, I feel like now I'm bringing someone else into a problem. They'll be like, oh, check this out. They'll be like. So if you and your wife could do this,

which if you could do it. What would we do? We wouldn't even know that you could do it. I mean, we've already been doing it for years, and that's how I know how boring it is. Okay. You guys didn't know, but. What do you mean, what would you do?

You would watch TV. You would sleep and watch. But how is that, but like, how is that an advantage to just stop time and watch TV? I already watch TV. Yeah, but you take your time. But time is passing. You're wasting your life right now.

Yes. But here's the thing. Your most precious resource is time. Sure. But if I watched TV during this 24 hour pause period, you want to know what I'm going to do un-paused? Productive things. I'm going to watch TV. Oh man. Okay what I'm gonna do unpause productive things

So wait you telling me that you don't look at anything in your life and say like you wish you had more time to do Anything else no I do but I feel like if I could find more time to do things click but I I Think that most things that you would say I wish I had more time to do X That does involve more than just solo operation. Yeah, that's why I offered you a friend. I Mean like I want to go somewhere Travel you yeah, that's the thing. I want more time pause time for the day drive to the beach Yeah, hang out at the beach for 12 hours and drive home

What a nice time by myself. No. No the traveling is by yourself Like so like like if you stop time Well, I mean we're under the assumption now that like electronics and cars and things mechanical things can still work. Okay, so you say hey just sit in this sit in the passenger seat here, we're gonna go to the beach. And then you get to use all you can pause it so you have daylight. You can go whenever you want to go with your pal because you don't have to worry. You don't have to worry about travel like the nighttime travel. We can't give these guys a day. I will rewind the clock and live that. No,

wait. So if you could rewind it Why is that better to you than the time other one just cuz I mean because he can watch a different television Accomplish anything because the stuff you accomplish during the day you lose wiped out no no I mean if we're being honest You have to rewatch all your shows. This is no you keep you retain your information. Yeah like who won the Super Bowl You retain your information. Yeah, like, who won the Super Bowl? Oh, yeah, okay, now we're back to betting. It always comes back to that, but I mean, come on. If you've got a time machine, you know some stuff. You can be very right on a lot of things.

Which is the key to life. It's a key to winning and betting. All right, Lucas from Patreon, would you rather have the ability to manipulate the four seasons or To predict the weather up to a year in advance So what would be the advantages of those two yeah explain to me the manipulating the four seas as in like I Think that summer is done now sure yeah

You could you could they could be as long or short as you want so in Arizona Oh, baby, we've got a glorious winter. But yes, we do if you manipulated our seasons, let's be honest. Everyone's living here Yeah Because in the winter you only weed them out through the summer I mean this not completely true because there's places that are super nice. Okay, so our living will go up sure Okay nice. Okay, so our cost of living will go up. Sure. Okay. Now I just buy a bunch of real estate. And by the way, California, which you're talking about, traffic is astronomically horrible. Yes. Now, can we affect the seasons? Like we live in Arizona, there are two seasons here.

You know, around the country there's four. Here it goes from hot to winter. Yeah, fall is three hours, and then spring is 62 minutes. Yeah, exactly. So maybe we could add some seasons here, add some spice. Because I look around the country and I want to see... You want some fall? Fall, yeah. You want to get into that fall? Absolutely.

I want to see the changing leaves. Cactuses don't generally change their leaves. No, nothing out here. Change their leaves. No, nothing out here is their needles, but you know at the same time. Predicting the weather with accuracy up to a year in advance is really really nice for vacations. I mean you want to go you know when you when you plan something and and we all do right like you guys have we we

all three have a family trip coming up several months from now. Right. How's the weather that week when you're leaving? Hopefully good. Right, exactly, but you could know and say, oh, I don't wanna go, for instance, for Christmas, I mean this is, this just happened.

For Christmas, I got my son a weekend trip, just me and him, to go to Magic Mountain. We flew out there and the park was closed because it was horrifically rainy that weekend. If I went the next weekend, sunshine and beauty. So that trip was ruined by the weather. That's, I think, the big advantage of being was ruined by the weather. That's, that's I think the big advantage of being able to predict the weather. See, I was thinking really noble here though. If you knew the weather up to a year in advance, you could save every catastrophic thing from happening. Oh, now you're thinking of like, like, so you know, natural disasters. Yeah, you'd know when tornadoes were going to hit so you could give people a warning. You knew

in the, you know, the severity of those things. Sometimes people get caught off guard, right? Would you consider an earthquake or a volcano eruption to be part of weather? An earthquake or a volcano eruption? Certainly not an earthquake. Neither of those. So tornadoes and hurricanes? Volcanoes don't erupt when it rains or something, so no.

Yeah, they're natural disasters don't erupt when it rains or something. So no No, that's yeah, they're natural disasters. You're not the kind that it's mother nature not weather father weather father weather as he's referred to Thank you for clarifying So no, but the big storms hurricanes tornadoes, flooding, all of that stuff, it devastates the world every year. Yeah. But also vacations, Jason.

Right. I mean, that's a little more important. Yeah. Everybody's vacations. But would you actually be taken serious? You go- After a couple. Yeah.

Sure. I mean, a couple of people are going to have to go down to prove it. Yeah. Sure. I mean a couple people are gonna have to go go down to prove it. Yeah eventually you just have to hit on some especially like if you knew tornadoes because like hurricanes we know to get out a little bit. Well so you know at this time of the year. No one's ever like. That's when this is when a hurricane happens but a tornado it's very difficult to pinpoint exactly where. You don't you don't wake up one day and a hurricane is on your door Right. No one had like whoa my goodness. What what just happened? Whereas a tornado snap your fingers and it's there Yeah in the flooding one the flooding. Yeah catches people off guard

The other one manipulating the seasons that's pretty much just creating a perfect environment. How valuable would that be like? Obviously right now you guys complain about the weather all the time. Yes, but you live here Yeah, cuz family this is where my family is so So I put their roots here by that Response though. You are saying that the the value of the environment and what you live in is lower Than the value of the environment and what you live in is lower than the value of living near your family. So, I guess I'm just saying, like if it was the most pristine, perfect,

like I guess you can go live in Hawaii right now. It's a lot to go do that. And if that's not everyone's perfect weather. Yeah, I guess that's true. I think I'm gonna manipulate the Four Seasons here. Sorry, everybody, I will not be able to alert you on these natural disasters, but if I could make where I live exactly the weather I want it. You wouldn't need air conditioners then.

The way I'm reading this question is the Four Seasons still have to happen over a 12-month period. That's fine, I get a day of summer. You're only going one day? You wouldn't do like a month. Arizona summer? Maybe a couple weeks. And over a 12 month period. I think you'd- That's fine, I get a day of summer. You're only going one day? You wouldn't do like a month. Arizona summer, maybe a couple weeks. I mean, get some pool time.

Get a pool, then go into the lake. That's pretty nice. I mean, it's just, it's too warm. I mean, the melanoma's a real drag. Yeah, it would pretty much be winter here. Yeah, for the most part. Now, if I affect the seasons, do I, so like, would I be changing

it universally? So now it's like 11 months are winter. So the rest of everyone in Detroit, oh, no, because they're living 11 months of winter. It's ice age up there. But I'm like, but I'm living in glory. I feel like you are now a evil villain from some sort of Pixar film if you're doing that. We gotta wall off this city quick. They're all coming. So you're going seasons, Mike. Are you doing the predicting weather? No way.

Give me the seasons. All right. Todd from Twitter, would you rather survive without technology for the rest of your life, but you get an unlimited supply of internet access for one day a week? Okay. Or the inverse, you have unlimited access to technology

for the rest of your life, but no internet access at all. So how valuable is the internet to you versus the rest of your technology? What does technology even do without internet? Well, I mean. Like you can still play your Xbox, anything that's local media. You can watch television, you can watch movies, I mean. You can still play your Xbox, anything that's local media. You can watch television, you can watch movies,

you can use a computer. Oh, I forgot about cable. There's cable, there's satellite TV. Everything is streamed, so I'm thinking like, you can't watch any of these TV services because you have no internet. But I guess. Do you count cars as technology?

Some of them are. Yeah, yeah. There's tech in cars. So all that's gone? That's an interesting question, because when we say the word tech, you're just, I guess you're... You're never thinking car.

No, because you're thinking it has a computer chip. Yeah, which technically they do now. Well, yeah, all cars, all new cars have at least some sort of chip in there. But mentally, you think car, engine. Yeah, it's an old machine. It's analog. But not having technology at all, but getting the internet access, what's the value of that?

If you just have that... So you're connected to the world, right? Like right now, we're connected to everything. Before, we were one of the only generations, when you're growing up, we didn't have internet. And the newspaper showed up on the door, you had the news channels, but there were fewer of them. Now you're connected and you know too much.

I mean, would this be better for you to have the tech without internet? I was kind of thinking about this. Like I got hit on one of the social medias of one of the throwback 80s whatever accounts. And all they do is they post nostalgic stuff and they suck you in. Cause it's like, hey, remember when this stuff

and it's just, it's pictures of how things looked when you were a kid. You're like, oh man, yeah. Like look at Orange Julius. It's got the orange and the brown. Oh, there's a blockbuster video There's Pizza Hut where you actually used to go and you sit down all those things and yeah little shots in nostalgia Yeah, and so I was I started thinking about it of

What would it be better? You know and we have now you're so isolated into your house because you could door dash everything, you can stream everything. Would it actually be better if you could go back and you have to go out? You're forced to leave the house to go do all of those things. Is there a value to society for that? Yeah.

Or are you just romanticizing it because you grew up with it and then if you got forced to go back to it you go man this sucks Why can't I just watch whatever movie I want to watch whenever I want to watch it? I mean, it's a good question for a number of reasons one Obviously any of us at any moment now could choose to discard all of that and we don't So there's that Sort of I mean then we don't there's some things that these like blockbuster doesn't exist anymore. Oh, okay. I see what you're saying.

Like sit down, pizza hut. Those are the things around you. Doesn't really exist anymore. Yeah, you couldn't go back to those things because they're gone. I don't remember the exact statistic or information. Like somebody had done a study and basically it said, you know, one issue of the New York Times contained more information in it than the like the average person would have been able to take in during the 1800s. Like in their lifetime. So the

information overload factor, right? Like we have so much information in our fingertips, honestly it makes people bored with things that are like what you're talking about. Yeah, if we really had to go back in time, there's pros and cons, but I do think it would be pretty helpful for people to have to socially interact in real life a little bit more than everything. The Oasis? Yeah, exactly.

I don't see the benefit to saying no technology ever, but I only get internet once a day. Well, that would be for information. That would be the only reason why that, it's at your fingertips, right? You would not be able to anymore in the other one. You can't Google a thing, right? You're back to encyclopedias on the line.

Libraries. Libraries. Are back. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh no, and what was, C.D. Rom. C.D. Rom's? Yeah, was it in Carta? Yeah, it was in Carta, oh yeah no and what was CD rata CD roms well yeah was it was it in car that was in carter oh yeah

Britannica when you had that art hours digital and it had like two videos on it yeah it was awesome it was so awesome but it was awesome because it was it was blowing your mind like wait I don't have to go get figure out which volume you know how many times I read a physical book and wish I could press control F? Because I want to find, I'm like wait this

is, it doesn't even compute with me that I can't search this book for something. So which one would you go with? Man. You said you don't think it's very valuable to have no tech and only internet so you're going no internet only. Yeah, because it's not just, it's no internet, six out of seven days, plus no tech ever. So I'm pretty much, you know, lighting fires in my cave. I will- Yeah, that's true.

So I will take the tech. We're just right back to the cave living. All houses are gone. I don't even get a VCR. Are you in the same one? I'm with Jason. I'll take the tech but no internet access. Yeah, because the other way around, let's say you got your one day of internet, you

could watch some streaming TV or something on it. But then the other days you got no TV, right? No musical? No music? Yes. Yeah, well you're back to CDs. Oh man, that was a good time. I mean, you're gonna have to- No music. Yes, yeah, well you're back to CDs. Yeah. Oh man, that was a good time.

It's a good vinyl. But like you have to carry a notepad around with you because whenever someone has a question, you're like, hmm, we're gonna have to ask the old Google machine that on Saturday. Yeah, like nowadays you're sitting around the table and somebody's like, oh, I think it's this. And you're like, no, I think it's this.

Like at lunch today, we didn't know how to pronounce the word bougainvillea. Yeah, bougainvillea. Bougainvillea, yeah, whatever. Around Arizona, the plant's called a bougainvillea. Yeah, it's not a question. That's what the plant people call it. Everyone says bougainvillea here.

But we were able to Google it, and then somebody ultimately dunks on the other person. Were there dunks back in the 90s? Did you go to the library? You like write it down or you sketch it down and then you come back and say, I looked this up and in your face. Yes. But by then the person doesn't remember anymore. So there's no impact of the dunk.

But you got to be way smarter back then. Oh yeah. Because if you were memory memories, well either that or just confidence. If you're real, no,, memories. Well, either that or just confidence. If you're real... No, that is absolutely true. I mean, then it is true. You say that something... You can't be proven wrong? You can't be proven wrong.

I mean, you just have to say it with confidence and now you are the world's smartest person. You think I'm wrong? Go look it up. Go to the library. Grab the keys. I do like libraries though. Oh man. Come Rob go look it up. Yes Grab the keys. I Do like libraries though, oh man nice and quiet All right moving on

Spitwads, let me tell you about bird dogs. You might not know what that is But bird dogs what I'm wearing right this second, that is not a joke. I love my bird dogs. I wear them all the time. Bird dogs is an awesome clothing brand. They've got great stuff everywhere. It is my... if I'm playing pickleball, if I'm working out, I love my bird dogs. But dressing up during the winter, sometimes for men it can be tricky. You know, a hoodie makes you look like you're running late. a blazer makes you feel like you're going to a funeral so bird dogs classic quarter zips they're perfect when you're looking for that in between whether you're golfing or going on a first date the bird dogs quarter zips they can be your new go-to and what about the pants not just the sports shorts that i'm wearing just about every day every other. But what about stretch khakis?

You know, where it looks like you're dressing up, but you actually have the real stretch and flexibility you need? You know, other athleisure pants, they look shiny, they're too casual, and for a limited time only, our listeners are getting a free hat with any order when you use the code SPITBALLERS at BirdDogs.com.

You get the best-selling hat completely free when you use the code SPITBALLERS at BirdDogs.com. You get the best selling hat completely free when you use the code SPIPBALLERS at BirdDogs.com. So go get your stretch khakis, go get your quarter zip, go get your athletic shorts, and right now again for a limited time our listeners are getting a free hat with any order when you use the code SPIPBALLERS at BirdDogs.com. You get their best selling hat completely free when you use the code spitballers at BirdDogs.com. That's a great question. I mean, for those of you that have followed this show for a while you know that there's Deucer's Alley where the producers sit Now what you might not know is that where I sit in the studio

The main camera and you can go ahead and put the camera on there if you're watching on on YouTube It's a lonely alley today. So you can see it says right there Deucer's Alley. It's just Deucer Alley No, but from where I'm sitting is Deuce Alley That's all I mean is because the camera the, it's Deuce Alley. That's all there is. Yeah, I mean, it's just- Because the camera blocks your view of the ERS. That's right. It's one and the same. So I just think over time,

that's gonna influence the way I look at somebody like Brooks. If every time I see Brooks' face and Deuce Alley next to each other, I'm sorry, buddy. Keep Deuce. But if I start treating you like, you know. Like a Deuce?

Then just know why. It's under, I got a big sign right now Yeah, all right. That's a great question. This one comes in from Steven What is something that you that you know you do differently than most people? Well, I I sit down to pee 98% of the time there's a there's a lot of people out there that I more than more men than well Now if you had to say your percentages of sit versus stand Jason, you just said 98 and two 98% of the time. There's a lot of people out there that do it. More men than will admit it. If you had to say your percentages of sit versus stand,

Jason, you just said 98 and two. Well, that is exclusively not in public. I mean, I'm a urinal guy. Right, you don't sit in the urinal. No, I don't sit in the urinal too often. I mean, if the- Every once in a while, there's a saddle. If I gotta go number two and the stall is taken, you know, you gotta turn around.

Why wait? Sit in there like kingpin. But that is one thing. I think I'm really like at least over 90%. Mike? At home. Percentage. Oh, percentage of sits?

For peeing. Probably 60, 40, 70, 30. Okay, I'm probably- In which- In sitting. In favor of my man. Yeah. I'm probably- Take a load off. I'm probably sitting 75 or 80%. Alright! See, that's what I'm saying. It's more- But the phone, I think, has a lot to do with this. Yeah, but like there's just, there's this stigma of what is a man? And it's like, well, a man can stand when he urinates.

So you're like, I've never really felt that. Oh, it's definitely out there. So wait a minute. When this question from Steven is asked, what's something I do differently than most people, maybe I cannot answer that. You're a 0%... Me? Bruxy, you're a stand only?

Yeah, I don't... I always stand, yeah. Yeah? So how often do you put the seat up? Always, yeah? You're a stand only? Yeah, I don't I always stand. Yeah. Yeah, how often I put the seat up always Yeah, you're probably a hundred. It's not a manly man thing Stand and P. Do Sally he's an alpha back there. Uh hi T So what are you saying though? Jack you were saying well Brooks kind of derailed that in the sense that I was thinking Maybe this isn't different than most people. You don't burp. That is certainly one of my- That's different than all other people on

the earth. I hate that so much. What, you wish you could burp? Oh my goodness, I wish I could burp. Yes! I imagine that you're- you still feel the pressure inside, right? I don't know. I mean, I feel the pressure all in my belly. You know, it's like I just bloat. But I don't know how to burp. I've tried I've tried to figure it out. I've watched videos before Videos on how to burp because it's just a human function There are yeah, cuz you can you can force yourself to burp and not everyone knows how to do it I can't yeah

It just seems like it'd be like looking up a video of how to lift my arm or how to listen with my ears. Just tell your body with your brain to do it. Wow. Mike, do you have something that's just so out of bounds for you? It's like not a, I read through and saw this because I'm like, man, what can I do? And the first thing I thought of is I snap primarily with my index finger oh yeah I know you I remember you telling me that and that doesn't seem possible instead of my

middle finger I can't even it's not really I can't even do it how whoa I didn't realize how hard that is here's the sound of my finger snapping that's that's how loud I can get it right so you snap with your index whoa oh I got another thing I got another thing hot shot that you do differently than others you are an incredible whistler well thank you but people I don't but people whistle there's I don't do it differently you do it differently LeBron James does basketball differently than most people because you're the LeBron of whistling. You gotta give the people a tongue. Well, now I'm just laughing.

It's hard? Yeah, but I mean, I'm a prolific snapper and whistler. Yeah, you do. You do that a lot. I don't know if there's one thing that I, that comes out. It's hard off the top of your head, because you may not even know you do it differently. Well, that's one of the funny things,

if you want a little behind the curtain here at Spitballers Studio. Generally, we have lunch of the funny things, if you want a little behind the curtain here at Spitballers studio. Generally, we have lunch here as a team. And one of the things that happens is we'll bring up ridiculous discussions, much like this show. Yes. And we'll start to, like the other day, we were looking into how people do laundry and where do they take their laundry out of the dirty laundry basket or do they keep it in

the dirty laundry basket? Or how do they fold it? Or do you not fold it? Or do you put it in the dirty laundry basket or how do they fold it or do you not fold it? Or do you put it on a hanger? And so you learn a little bit around here that you do think like putting in dirty dishes to the without without rinsing them in the dishwasher so we do learn a little bit of the and The only reason we do them if you think about it

The only reason we do them the way we do them is because somebody did them that way before we did Yeah, because that's how I've always done it. It's been passed down to us by our parents. You're like, the first time I did it, I tried it and that worked. So now I may not change course. And it's weird because when you get married, somebody does stuff differently than you do. Yeah. And then there have been many times in my marriage where I'm like, no, you don't do it that way. And then and then she goes, no, yes, you do.

And then and then that's the moment that's the moment when you when you go Why is why would I why would I it's the first time you question? Why would I do it that way? There's no reason I do it that way It's very interesting say it's a a life moment for everyone When you say I do this this way because that's how I've always done it. That is not a good reason to do anything. You can say we've always done it like this because I worked it out and this is the more efficient way to do it. But if your reason for doing something is just because because that's a terrible reason. It's not a great evaluate. Ask the question. Hold up in court. Yeah. All right alright laura wants to know solve a dispute why did you do that

because i always have yeah what else i was supposed to do over overruled laura wants to know simple dispute it's a good question is a easy and obvious question what's the best seats in a movie theater okay if you're a child seats in a movie theater. Oh. OK. If you're a child, it's the front row. And I don't understand why.

Once. It's only that once for a child. Yeah, because that's the absolute worst seat in a movie theater. I can't believe they get away with selling those seats. I think that's unfair, yeah. Well, to be fair to the movie theater, they only sell those seats when everything else is gone.

But I'm saying they should not exist. They should be discounted. Sure. They should be discounted. A partial view. I mean. But it's just like, it's so close. There should be a, there has to be a legal distance between your seat, the closest seat

and the screen because there's some rows some rows we just this is ridiculous and I mean it's it's it's not this way anymore because speaking of the future where you like reserve where your seat is which is one of the best inventions of modern society because the the struggle of back when you were when we were kids and you had to look number one you either had to look up the the movie time in the paper or you call Movie Phone, 222-FILM and it's- Talk on to Movie Phone. Exactly, but it's okay.

How do I know I can see this movie? I have to show up an hour early. That's how I know I'm going to get in and that's how I know I'm not gonna be sitting in the front. Just to buy the tickets. Yes. And then you gotta go get in line. Then you gotta go, it is like a, it's an open run.

Yes. Once you're in there, like, yes, you're in a line, but it's not like you're waiting for the person to find their seats, you're just running around. Oh man, children, if you've never lived that life. So is your, is this an obvious thing, Jason, is that you were going somewhere in the middle? So it's in the middle, but I would say that

Specifically obviously left to right dead center is the best. Yes, but I think that the best seat is usually Most theaters nowadays they have kind of an upper area Where there's there's some idiom seating? Yeah the stadium seating where there's kind of the first row where you're going up. So it's, you know, you walk in and there's seats on the level that you walk in, and then you climb stairs to go to the rest. How many stairs do you climb? The first stair climb is the best seat.

And here- Oh, so you're actually pretty close. I'm decently close, yeah, but I don't have to, you don't ever hurt your neck there or feel uncomfortable ever. You're about to give us the reason. So I am very close and. Because he's always done it that way. Exactly. And a lot of times those seats are right in front of the area where there aren't any seats. They're like the the are right in front of the area where there aren't any seats. They're like the accessible, the accessible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a tough word. But they got the bars there then too. All right, that's where I was going to. And you get to put your feet up on the bars with the best seats in the house. That's prime. Now if the bars were in front of every seat, would you go higher?

No, I do think that the- I would go a little higher. I think the first row- I'm up. You're not all the way up, would you go higher? No, I do think that- I would go a little higher. I think the first row- I'm up. You're not all the way up, are you? No, no, I'm about like- You're not on make out row. No, no, no, I'm not a heathen in the back

where I'm not trying to watch a movie. I'm like probably three rows from the top. Oh, that's pretty high. I go way up there. I want the whole view, no, even no partial head movement. I want my eyes to be able to take it all in. I'm right in between where you two are. I'm not as low as Jason, I'm not as high as you are.

I'm right in the middle. You're the Goldilocks. I'm the Goldilocks of this situation. Let me tell you. But I will choose the bar over the Goldilocks. Let me tell you why my seat is better than yours. OK, please do. You can pee faster?

Obviously, end of case, yes, I can pee faster. No, it's because, I agree with you, Mike, no head movement. You cannot have to move your head one inch to the left or right to see something change on the screen. But I don't, you don't have to in those seats. Oh, but it's a tempt. There's a temptation. There's no temptation. There's a temptation. You need to...

You're at max peripheral. You need to try... You are at max peripheral. Yeah. Which is exactly what you want. That's too much. No, it's too much. You're in the scene. It's the biggest version of the screen. How much of Mike's choice is a little bit of being away from the biggest part of the crowd?

Well, there's... Are you trying to get away from the group? No. Because if you're in the dead middle, I mean, you're really surrounded. Yeah, I'm not trying to avoid people. I mean, I'm not buying the seat right next to... No, monsters do that. Unless that thing is sold out, come on, put a seat in between.

I will say, the... Reserving your seat is incredible, but I can see there There is a weak point from the the theaters standing because when I buy my ticket and Someone's in you know, like the best spot and it's pretty patchy. You're like, I will just go one seat over So now a single person if they want to sell that ticket, it has to be someone who's going to the movie by themselves. Whereas before you just run in and fill it up. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And they were so small. The seats were so small back then. And I can't have a Mr. Manager coming and be like, Oh, everyone, uh, we're sold out.

We need you all to get up and pinch in because we all tried that back in the day you would leave the seat and then they'd come and scold you and tell you to move over can't do that anymore this is my seat that just tells me that the day of the catacall airplane boarding has to end oh it does I can't stand that there's really only the one yeah I know Southwest get it together just sell your seats yeah we're all fine picking them all right one more real quick Sam wants to know what the dumbest way you've ever Get it together! Just sell your seats! Yeah, we're all fine picking them. All right, one more real quick. Sam wants to know what the dumbest way

you've ever been injured was. I know mine. Mine was sitting down. And not sitting down as in like a verb. That's just where I was. Seated. Seated down. Which I think I've had multiple.

I've hurt a knee, and I've had a calf spasm. And my calf spasm, we have a video of it. If you haven't ever seen it, because we've got security cameras in here. We are sitting, I believe we were interviewing a potential hire for the website. Who got the job? At a pity, because he had to deal with you

getting electrocuted. That's what the video looks like. I am sitting down, and all of a sudden, I start basically, convulsing. If you took a fish out of the water, and you put him on the ground, he flops, and back and forth, and back and forth, That's what was happening I thought Jason was legitimately having a stroke. Oh

I was so concerned and yeah, you you had an issue Yeah, the best part of that video is actually YouTube because Andy is immediately just so concerned and Mike Could care taking it all in He was about to act. Look, I needed it. I need to analyze the situation. Panic does no one any good. I do remember being a child and running on the pool decking.

So the pool's out here in Arizona. And one leg going in the water and one leg staying out. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty common. Didn't stay out too long. There was a bruise. Oh, no. There was a big, bad. There was a bruise. Oh, no It was a big bad big bad a bruise Yeah in an area that should not ever be bruised in an area that hurts a lot to be bruised

So I know that was a dumb one of the dumb ways that I've been injured before. Oh, I feel that dumb I just remembered mine. Okay. This was as I mean, this is like a kid, I mean so a youth, and as youths do, we're just doing stupid stuff. And for whatever reason at this moment, we're, I'm at my cousin's house, and we're just throwing golf balls into the grass in his backyard. And I let one rip.

So what happens with that technology? Yeah, I mean, this is how we entertain ourselves. I hit the patio beam. Oh no, it came right back? Came right back, dead in the forehead. No! And I had like an imprint of the golf ball in my forehead. You could have taken your eye out.

For multiple days. Oh my God. There was the divots and everything. So this pole was like right by you? Yeah. Oh, that is unbelievable. That is spectacular. I mean, that's the dumbest way to be injured.

And to have to tell people, because it's on your forehead. You gotta mark your stupidity right on your forehead. Oh man, I wish that was on video. That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. Alright, let's draft. The Spitballers Draft You just see the word ping right on his forehead with the divot.

Alright, today we are drafting the worst parts of being an adult. Jason, being the most adult of all of us, gets to start this draft. I'm a real grown up, and there's really, there's two, there are two top picks to me. Okay. I keep kind of going back and forth on which one to take, but I think this almost encompasses everything. It goes further than you think at first glance because a lot of the other things you have

to do as an adult all come back to this original problem. Mm-hmm. It's bills. Okay. It's just bills. You gotta pay for stuff. I mean, when you, that's like the number one biggest problem of being an adult is all of a sudden,

money is your task and you have to take care of it. Yes. You need it. Oh, you need it for everything? You don't need it as a kid. And you don't just get it. As a kid, I mean, maybe you gotta work from some chores. Right. But you probably also get an allowance, or you go to dinner, I'm not charging my

kids. How'd you get that money? I waited a week. Right. Yeah, you have clothes, you have everything you need as a kid. Yeah, so bills I think are the number one problem for adulthood. Okay, and I get where you were going between your picks. I mean I've got I'm gonna have to answer job. Okay. You don't have to have a job as a kid. That is correct.

Whenever my kids tell me that they are like too busy or have too much to do you know I get it like school is their job right? Yeah. That's the job that they have as kids, but it's not nine to five. And so I think the job is the thing, like you can't be an adult without a job. So the job, you know, obviously people have better jobs and worse jobs. I like my job. So in that respect, I'm one of the few

that would not look at it as a hindrance to doing what I want to do. But for the majority of the world, the job is the obligation that stands in the way of getting to pursue anything that you enjoy doing. Because you got bills. Because you got bills. You know, I'm not arguing with that.

And then it perpetuates itself, right? You get your job, you got your bills, you get better at your job, you do things that give you more bills. So I'm gonna go with the job as you do things that give you more bills. So I'm going to go with the job as being the worst part of being an adult. Alright, so I get two picks here. I mean my list is bountiful. It's just where do you start? I will start with this one. You are tired all the time. When am I not tired? Never.

I have just gotten the longest, most refreshing sleep of my life. 12 hours. I mean, look, I guess I'm not tired when you're waking up and you have the coffee, and then you're tired. You know what I mean? It's maybe 30 minutes. Yeah, I was going to say an hour.

And it's usually like, to me, it's 30 minutes after you're awake. Yes. You get one hour of being not hour and it's it's usually like to me it's it's 30 minutes after you're awake Yes, you get one hour of being not tired and it's back to time. Yeah, it's a great pick I had it down as needing more sleep, which is the same thing. You're always tired There's nothing quite like being an adult and having people see you when you don't think you're tired and they just say well you look tired Oh, man I showed up at my 95 year old grandmother's house

and the first thing she said to me when I walked in the door was, you look tired. Wow, boom chocolockers. Society, we need to agree on a couple things here of like number one, no matter how sure, and this is a false rule, no matter how sure you are that a lady is pregnant, you never ask.

You never ever ask. And like they give you the information or they're... If that shirt doesn't say I'm expecting on it. Yes. Right. And stop asking people if they're tired because number one, of course they are because they're an adult. So you know the answer.

And two, you're saying, you look bad. That is what saying. Yeah, you want to know what makes someone look tired their eyes are Drew you got the dark black circles exactly It's not a compliment like literally the one that gets under my skin the most if I don't know how to fix it man Yeah, it's it's crazy because there is just me there is is no other commonly accepted insult, but that is just an insult. It's not that there's not any other adjective that you can use. You're just insulting someone. We say, oh, you look tired. You're not giving advice of like you should catch up on your sleep. Hey, stop.

We're like your grandma wasn't like we can let's call this off. You look like you need to go home and go That's right. It's just no. Hey, thanks for showing up. You look bad You look old All right, all right, so always tired great first pick I'm gonna I'm gonna combo that with when speaking of just of ridiculous ways that you can get injured as an adult, you can do this thing called I slept wrong and now my neck hurts. Like the most ridiculous thing, you're like, oh, I did it wrong.

I did a normal thing wrong somehow. I did a normal thing that where I'm not in control anymore of my body, it's just going to do what it does as it's recharging. So what are you calling that? You slept wrong. Okay. Okay, I had body breaking down. Yeah, maybe just take that, yeah.

It just, it sucks because when you're young, your body does whatever you want it to do. Yeah. You don't think about it. That's the biggest thing about being an adult is you actually have to think about, oh boy, if I do this then X. As a kid you just do things and then you're also fine. You remember when I got injured sitting down? I was doing nothing!

Yeah I think the... I've recently started to like... I've been had huge neck problems but in the last, I don't know, six, I've tweaked my neck bad, two times. One, I believe I was reaching down into the laundry basket to get a sock, and the other one, I was drying my hair after a shower. And then I felt my neck go and went, oh, uh-oh. Well, there's a week. Shouldn't have dried my hair.

Right, these aren't like, oh man, you must have played a big game of football. No, I was drying my hair. All right, that's a good one, good one. I will go with gaining weight. Yep, yep, been there. The older you get, the easier it is. Everybody always told, I was the skinniest kid growing up.

Everybody always told me. Enjoy your metabolism. Someday, I was like,niest kid growing up everybody always told me enjoy your metabolism someday I was like, oh this metabolism will last forever. It's called hog and dog metabolism I could have a pint tonight and not notice it But once you hit a certain age you have to eat well or you will gain weight The best part though is you actually you can eat well you can exercise on the reg and still you can eat well, you can exercise on the reg and still not have the physique that you think you

deserve for all of the work that you're putting into it. You're just not getting fat as quick. It's slowing the fatness down and it is a- You can't hold it off. It's a tricky thing because you go, oh, tomorrow my metabolism will be worse than today. So you got to work harder every day. But that's what I'll go with is the progressive weight gain of getting older. Yeah, metabolism is at the top of my list because man, I miss it. I really, really miss it.

And I'm so jealous, we all know people that just have a crazy metabolism. They don't eat good at all. They eat worse than I do. They don't ever think about a diet, ever. And they're like a rail. And of course they're like, I wish I could put on weight. We all want what we aren't. All right, so I've got Bills. We all do, brother. Yeah, that's part of the problem. And I'm going to go, this was the other one that when I think of like the downsides of being

an adult that you just don't have as a child are responsibilities. Sure. You just, you're responsible for everything. It's your job. Who takes the garbage out? It might be your chore, but who's responsible? Me. Who's responsible for everything?

You want food on the table? Yep. Go buy it. You actually have nonstop responsibilities. And as a kid, the free... I remember thinking how free being an adult is. You get to choose everything. As a kid... Do what you want. You get taken where they say to go.

You got to do it. Right. But it's actually the reverse. As a kid, you're free. You have no responsibility. What, homework? So you're like your one responsibility? As a grownup, that's like, if I go through

the checklist of my day, I am just doing responsibilities all day until I get to watch TV. That's why I watch so much TV. If you paid the cable bill. Right, right. Because bills and responsibilities. Okay. The next one here, man, the list. You're making a real strong list for not being an adult here. Yeah. Bill's responsibilities. Okay, this one I'm going, I'm going a little deeper, a little bit more philosophical. Oh, I'm talking about the loss of your potential. Oh, you know, when you're a kid, you can do anything. What job do you want to be? It's on my list. Loss of

potential. Those exact words. What? Those exact words. Wow. Because it means something psychologically to you to think that you could become anything if you wanted to. Yeah, absolutely. And you lose it.

I'm not gonna be a doctor. Like, it's just, it's... Even if you wanted to. Even if I wanted to. I don't have the potential to do anything in the world. You cannot be in the NBA. My course and path is set and there are things like that, like the NBA. Like when I was a kid, I genuinely dreamed of being in the NBA. I know, long shot, whatever, but that was

a dream. Once you get past certain age points, those things are just, they are factually gone. The potential to do anything doesn't exist anymore my path has been charted and now I am an adult yeah with a with an arrow pointing very clearly in my direction oh I thought you meant to death oh sure yes okay so the loss of potential I had it written down exactly like you did because I agree that's one of those things that is it's a strange strange thing as you grow up, and you accept it. I'm not, look, I mean, you accept those things and you're thankful for the blessings that you have, but obviously, if you, you know, you check some things off the list, you're

not probably doing the cross-country motorcycle tour before you have kids, when you have three kids and a spouse. So okay, it's my pick? It is. Okay. Let's see here. I understand you have to check. I'm going to go with a very simple one.

I'm gonna go with no summer vacation. It's on my list. No summer vacation. As a kid, not only does time go slower, right? Because less of it has gone by in your life, so it just does, like the perception of time is so much slower that summer vacation felt way longer than it does now.

Yeah, I mean, my youngest kid, a year is 10% of his entire life. Exactly. That's a big deal. My chunks are getting much smaller. Yeah. It's a 40th of my life. Yeah.

So I would say that the summer vacation, there's nothing like that day. The day school ended. And in Arizona for us, it was, you know, ironically, it was library trips. It was going to swimming the whole summer long, playing sports, watching cartoons, summer vacation, it's such a good memory. It's just nice to have giant breaks. Yeah.

And you don't get that as an adult. We literally just tried, as a company, to give ourselves one conjoined week off together with our kids on spring break, and realized we can't even do that because of certain shows that we have to do. We have responsibilities. Yes. Yeah so I will go no summer vacation. Mike? All right so I will have my... So that was on your list too? Yeah oh yeah yeah no summer vacation just the three-month block is since it like planning up planning a

week-long vacation is is a struggle. You have to line up so many different things. And if one tiny piece doesn't fit into the week, I'll be like, well, yeah, blow that up. Let's find a whole different week and let's start it all over again. All right, for my final two, this one, I mean, it can fall under responsibility, but I think it's so specific and it's the worst.

And it's dinner slash meal prep Yeah, that is the apps. I you've been saving on a 20 year. I rate against meal prep I I Find no joy none from the from the preparing of the meal There's a lot of people that do but I find nothing you loathe it. I you're definitely at loathing Oh, I'm past loathing, because I will have loathing. I will have anxiety attacks, because I'm trying to do the three things at the same time

that other people can easily do. I can't handle it. And I'm like, I'm burning things over here. What's your number one emergency meal if things go south? Like, you thought you were gonna meal plan your entire life. What is the bottom of the barrel you will allow for a single, is it peanut bread and jelly, is it cereal? For the family or for the family?

For the family. Like if you had to, what can you get away with? 1-800-PIZZA. Yeah I was gonna say pizza, it's always pizza. If you need a fallback it's pizza. But if it's like, if it's stuff's stuff that I probably have in the house, I mean, you're looking at like buttered noodles. It's always noodles for me too. Buttered noodles, alright. Spaghetti.

I like buttered noodles. Yeah, they're good, but you're like, Aldente. Like, yeah. Yeah. I'll take crispy noodles. I mean, I don't ever desire it. It's good once you have it, but I don't ever think like, man, can't wait for dinner and those buttered noodles. I mean, like I don't ever desire it. It's good once you have it, but I don't ever think like, man, can't wait for dinner in those buttered noodles.

Your food does just show up for you as a kid. Yes. It's what makes it so annoying when your kids complain about it. Oh my gosh. Or they don't come and sit down when I'm like, hey, dinner's ready. They're like, yeah, I'll be there when I'm there. I'm like, I just spent an hour and like, and I'll spend the hour cooking. You know how long that that food's gonna take me to eat 2.5 seconds. I know like the time is just a waste. I don't know. I'm not necessarily prescribing this But I did just here on a parenting podcast

that The mom had set up a rule where if you complain about the contents of dinner on that night Oh, the consequence was the next day. It's the same thing. Was I thought about it. That's what I thought she was going to say. No, it's rice and water day. Oh, and you can have it.

If it happens the next day, rice and water for all three meals. Interesting. They call it gratitude day. If so there's a gratitude day. And then, and then, so they asked her how many times if you had to do it. She said twice. Only two times because after that you know how thankful you are. Now was this a podcast on abusive parenting? Yeah like I said I'm not necessarily prescribing. Is it just plain white rice? Yeah I mean white rice and water yeah. Okay.

Which I mean you can get through with that for sure. Well, I'm saying if you butter up some white rice. Oh, it can be good. I'm gonna get some sugar. The kids start angling for it on purpose. I love rice, it's so delicious. Anyways, go on. All right, my last pick.

This one's a little more philosophical as well. I'm going with imposter syndrome. You spend your whole life growing up and when I become an adult, because you look at the adults, they have the answers. Like they're the ones, they take care of everything. They know what they're doing. I will eventually grow into that. And then you realize, oh no, you're like, no, I'm actually still that child.

I know more things now, but I don't have the confidence in the answers for my children that I thought you would have. That I thought I would have. I thought my parents had. It's also that realization of like, Oh, holy crap. My parents are just people. Yeah. They're just kids that are older too.

They don't unlock the like wisdom box at a certain age. So it's just, it's bizarre when you get to a certain age of realizing that aha moment, it's never gonna show up. You're still gonna have tons of things that you're expected to know how to do, but you just don't know how to do it. I think, I do think we all feel kind of like big kids still. I definitely do.

But we're all adults. Yes, but then you look in the mirror and you go, oh man, you look tired. Is it But we're all we're all adults. Yes, but then you look in the mirror you go oh man you look tired. Is it a bunch of kids pretending to be adults? Yes. Is that what we are? That is exactly what the entire world is. It's all kids. Some of them are just older. That's it. All right. All right. So for my final pick I have the job, the weight gain, the no summer vacation. There's a couple in contention here. Which one do I go with? I wanna leave one for Jason that I think he could go with,

but if he doesn't, it'll be funny anyways. So I think I am going to go with not enough time. Sure. And that could mean a couple different things. That could mean on the long scale. That's why pausing is an ultimate superpower. On the long scale, you have less time in life, right? Presumably.

Not that anybody couldn't go at any time, but you got less time on average. And in your day, you just feel like you got less time. By the time you get done with all these, let me go through them, Bill's responsibilities, you're tired, you get to the end of the day and the amazing thing is you're like, I finally have time, I'm going to do everything. As soon as you're ready to do everything you thought you were going to do. That's why the TV goes on. Cause it's like, man, if I could lay here, I can't do anything

else like sleeping, but not with my eyes open entertain me box Alright, Jason. Let's see what you go with for your final pick. Alright This one I man I could go so I've still got so many things on my list that I love like going to the DMV Which I won't draft but that is an adult when the last time you were there. Oh, it's been forever I will do anything to not cover it. They have reduced the requirement for you to be there as often. I haven't been to the DMV. It's been a good 10 years.

I think since I haven't been there, I think we changed like my wife's name there or something. You can do a lot online now. I, yeah. But go on. Yeah, we're doing great work over there. Eliminating that eliminate that There's two here Okay, I'm gonna go with

one of these is just for just for men and so I will save that for the For the undrafted gems instead. I'm gonna go with Losing Cool, yeah losing touch with what's cool. Yeah. Losing touch with what's cool? Yeah, like, eventually. Oh, okay, you're not hip anymore. Yeah, you're just.

What's that like? And you can't. Talk to me in one ear, Mike. Oh, I'm not cool. Because you can't get it back, right? Right, like you can't, you. Then you're the least cool if you're trying to get it back. It's kind of exactly like what you were saying

where you realize you're, you know, you're still a kid, but on the opposite side, because kids look at us and it's like, well, you can't be cool anymore. Right. You just can't. Like, it doesn't matter how cool you are. It doesn't matter what you do. You're just an old person trying to be cool.

Yeah, exactly. You're an old person trying to be cool. You can't be cool anymore. And I think that's the way- Grandma with her leather jacket. That's the way to put it, is can't be cool anymore. And I think that's the way. It's grandma with her leather jacket. That's the way to put it, is can't be cool anymore. Yeah. Once you're an adult at a certain age,

it's just off the table. I agree. That's funny. I agree. Was the other one the hair-related one? Yes, it was. Yeah. I would push back.

Some of the ladies have to deal with balding as well. Absolutely. No, no, no, no, no, no. Mine specifically is hair growth patterns, meaning the hair stops on the head but starts on the back. It starts on the feet. I'm probably 10 years away from it, like completely growing out of my ears and just to a degree that I've got to really take care of business. I mean, what happens with the hair? It's very strange. It's graying and all sorts of, it's just like the hair stinks.

The extra hair growth is like, what is... Yeah. Why did it stop for so long? Yeah. What is like the genetic instigator? Like help? Like is it cause you're older. So your, your body thinks you'll be colder. Like you won't be able to handle the ice age as well So now we need to get more more hair on you it makes sense why my hair stops growing, right? My follicles are dying and getting older whatever. Yeah, why am I starting to grow new hair? Places that don't need hair. They didn't die. They just relocated. Yeah, they like I don't want to be up here anymore total hair no I a lot of what you had was on my list too Jay we were we were a line there I didn't have much more I mean taxes yeah I felt like bills and taxes

is almost the same thing closer to death I joked about that death is on my list because you're actually all around it now you know you're you get to an age where all of a sudden your parents will eventually not be around and you just see it more and of course you are closer to the door. Yeah, no question. Making appointments. Oh, I hate, that's a good one. I hate making appointments. Your mom and dad always did that stuff for you. Yeah, the reason why I don't take care of certain things of my life and like my physical hygiene, it's not because I don't want to do it, it's because I don't want to call those people

and set things up. I would love to go to the doctor. Yeah. I don't want to make a doctor's appointment. That part is a nightmare. My- There's the imposter syndrome again. Yes.

You thought your parents loved it. When you were growing up, oh, they're so good at making appointments. Nope, they didn't. I have on my list, you have dinners that you hate that is the bane of your existence that you just have to do because it's one of your responsibilities. Laundry, that's on my side. Like as a kid, yeah, you just have an unlimited supply of clean clothes. It was great. It's really the, like it's the folding. Because the

laundry process doesn't bother me. It's that the, like it's the folding. Because the laundry process doesn't bother me. It's that when you have to get everything out of the dryer and you're like, how is everything so mixed up? My wife offered me $10 to fold her laundry yesterday. She walked in the room and I was like laying down on the phone and she goes, 10 bucks if you wanna do this. And she dumped it out. All right, there you go.

We'll do eight best parts of being an adult. I promise there are some pretty cool aspects. We can maybe get the four rounds from them. Yeah, maybe. What did we learn today? Well, I learned what imposter syndrome was and I totally relate to it. Yeah, you feel like you never belong.

I still feel like I'm a little kid. I don't feel much different mentally than when I was 20. Yes. And I'm almost 40. I learned that. I didn't learn a lot in the last 18 years. I learned that Mike threw a golf ball in his face. Oh, that was brilliant.

And did I learn anything? Probably not. I mean, I've learned definitively if I could stop time, I'm not doing anything good except other than sleeping. That's fair. You just want 12 more hours in the day. That would be fine. Someone's like, you look rested.

Ooh, that's a compliment. Hey, tell your friends about the podcast. We'll be back next week. Something like that. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the friends about the podcast. We'll be back next week. Something like that. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.