Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Fighting Your Grandma & Best Hours of the Day - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

Spit Hit for June 4th, 2026:  This episode is one for the ages. Would You Rather goes very off track and the rest is history, plus we play Man of the People and wrap things up with a Best Hours of the Day Draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. All right. Very smooth. Tis the season, boys. So I had to ask. I knew, I knew it. Now, you could be listening to this. episode anytime for thousands of years it will always stay relevant but at the time of recording

this it is the christmas season i know you're listening to old crooners sing 40s christmas songs yes i am that was the 1940s for whoever's listening we don't know yeah it could be if they could be thinking 24 40s yeah i mean that is i was just talking to my wife about when does the transition happen when we finally call what we're doing now the 20s 30s yes because it's like for us, the 20s or the 10s, no, there's the 2000 tens and there's the tens, which, but it's not thing. And it will change. And it's in 1810s. You know what I mean? So it's like the which aren't the tens. Exactly. Yeah. Or the 20s. The 20s are never the 1820s. So which at what point does that flip over? Like which generation of the 2000s is about the 20s are the 2020s. Not the 90s. You got to be born after. 2010. This is all about the

20s. Okay, because the tens don't count. Nobody calls them the tens. The aughts. You know what I mean? No, no one calls them now. They just, they're not referred to. And also, the 1910s were worthless. Just boring, nothing happened. The 20s. It's kind of a big war. Now, but that was only the first one. The 20s.

It was. Who's the prequel? The 20s people referenced. The roaring 20s. You know, and we're in the 20s. We're about to be, you know, it's not that far until the 20s will be the previous decade. I don't know the perfect answer. I feel like it's about,

it's not about how much time has passed. It's about the generation of people. Will we ever say the 20s? We will 100% say the 20s. We will. We, the three of us will say in the 20s, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, and talking about the 1920s. No, well, we weren't there, so we won't say that.

We will 100% use the phrase. the 20s when we're talking to our grandchildren. I don't think we will. No. I don't think we will. No, no, no, no. Our grandkids will. Our grandkids will talk to us and we will collectively, both parties refer to it as the 20s. To be very clear, there was a generation in the 1900s that did the same thing. Yeah. They referred to the 20s, and they didn't mean the 1920s. They meant the 1820s. You don't know that. Yes, we do. Because that's what we do. I'm blown away. You think that in the 1940s, that we won't talk about the 20s,

like how we talked about the 90s? We're not going into the 1940s. We're going to the 2000. As you just said, we're in the 2020. We're in the 2040s. Proved my point right there. You guys write me when you start. By the way, 15 years from now, you're going to talk about the 20s,

and you're going to be talking about the 2020s. I like that. We're talking about flappers and bootlegging. Everything will come back. As long as we do all the same stuff in each of the decades, it'll be fine. But that's bad for wars. Mike, you were very smooth. I appreciated that on the boob-a-boob.

Yes. But my question was going to be when you go to put the Christmas music on in the car. Because I am from December 1st, I've been committed to it every day on the way to work, on the way home. There's lots of different playlists. There's lots of different options on the old Spotify or wherever you're listening. What do you click? Because I know some people want all modern stuff. Yeah, you can do the Christmas pop.

You can do the classic Christmas. You can do the Christmas hits. Yeah, and so I'm a classic Christmas one. Which they'll mix in. They'll put in the Mariah Carey. It'll get mixed in there. But it's a bunch. You know, there's also like, you know,

bo-do, bud-do. Yes. So when are we coming out with our Christmas album, guys? That's put that on the list of things that need to be. I'm not making a note. It needs to be done. I am okay with Mariah. I'm fine with McCartney, like the new wave stuff.

And shout out to Christmas rapping by the waitresses. Kelly Clarkson. Yeah. It's got some, oh, she's got some. Oh, no, no, there's a new one out. Her Christmas stuff is legit. I know I know it is. Ariana's got some good Christmas stuff.

Yeah. Okay. You're right. It's good. It is. I can listen to that. but if I am the DJ, the music needs to sound like it is coming out of an AM radio station. Oh, my gosh, Mike.

I've never loved you more than right now. I've never loved you. And I know what you're saying. You might be shocked to hear. I am 100% on board. Yes. I'm shocked to hear. If this thing doesn't, if this never came through a transistor radio.

Okay. If this song never played through a transistor radio, this is not the Christmas. I love you guys so much right now. I love it all. I never thought you would do. do that. I thought you were Christmas music. It needs to have a crackle of broken airwaves and a fireplace. You think there's low end in that song? No, they couldn't record bass back then. It's amazing when you listen to the classics in Christmas music and we will move on. It's amazing that there are just a few core elements to make a Christmas song. You have to have the bell-ish thing somewhere.

Yeah, the sleigh bells. It has to be somewhere mixed in. And all of them. There's just a certain handful of musical elements. Yeah, we're old. Okay. Let's move on. Would you rather? The reason

why we like that, Papa Josh, is because it's associated with our memories of when Christmas was good. Yes. That's the only reason why that works.

That's why I'll listen to the Charlie Brown Christmas stuff. Because I remember being a little kid. That's good. Yes. Yes. It's great.

It's great. And our kids will listen to Ariana Grande when they're old. As a classic. I imagine that they will for a while and then they'll get old like us, and then they'll put on the super old stuff that we like.

All right. Justin from the website, would you rather have learn? Cool. Have to learn. Oh, we're just throwing words around now. Thanks Justin from the website. I'm pretty sure Justin wanted to know. Would you rather have learned? How is Babi formed? How is Babi formed? Would you rather have to learn to be completely ambidextrous or learn to be fluent? in a new language. In both cases, you have to do the work

of the learning process. Oh. I will quite quickly choose the new language. Can you actually learn to be ambidextrous? Yes. Yes, you could because if your arm was cut off,

you would learn how to do everything with your left hand. But not, you would learn how to do everything. Yeah. But to me, ambidextreous is like, I am proficient. And I can, if you,

if your arm was cut off, it is now impossible to become ambidastards. That is a very good point. You are either right or left-handed. I guess my point is that you would learn it. Right. Like kids, long time ago, way before that Christmas music, it was pretty frowned upon to be left-handed. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And so people would, they beat it at you. They'd, or they would just, they'd force their kids.

That's my wife, an hand. They would force the kids to learn with the opposite hand. They did. They learned how to do that. So you could do it. You 100% can learn how to do these things. You can learn proficiently. You can absolutely. Drawing, writing, throwing a baseball, all that stuff can be learned. Yes. But I will much rather choose the language. There's a process to learning a language.

It may take time, but I will get there. Well, and there's an advantage. Like, other than now I can lose my arm, I don't know what the real advantage is. Have you seen that tennis player? Have you seen that ambidextrous tennis star? Uh-uh. No. He only hits forehand.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. He switches the paddle. He shifts his hands or the racket. He switches the racket. He can serve full speed either hand. Wow. Only serves, only hits forehand. I had only thought of like baseball.

When I think of it's better to be able to be proficient with both hands. Right. Like if you can bat both right and left or throw or pitch, yeah. Then you have a skill that most people don't have. I've never thought about tennis. Yeah, but yeah, I'll go language. I would love to be ambilingual. Bilingual?

It's almost like there was already a word for that. Well, I mean, that's just two languages. I was just taking it on to see how it sounds. Yeah, it sounded dumb. Does that just move up with the prefix? Yes, trilingual. That's quadlingral. Quadrilinegural.

That's the shape. Sorry, we all go in language? And what language, if you could today, let's just, I'm going to give you a second one. A second question. Okay. You push a button and you've got the second language. Yeah. It's instantaneous.

So, you know, there's languages that are harder to learn like Chinese, Mandarin, you know. Yeah, yeah. But what would you actually push? Like, you got, you got 10 seconds to figure it out. Mine is really easy. And this is, I mean, I might even start trying. It's regional. I'm planning on going to Paris in about five or six months.

Holy Vue. So right now, I would definitely. I definitely like to see. Yeah, you got to learn about baguettes. Oh, I go. So because. Dude, you're going to eat so many baggettes? The croissant intake will be margerton.

So instead of like the region. Start baking now, France. We live in a, we live in a region where I'm coming in five months. You better start importing more flour. I'll go Spanish. Yeah, it's. It's regional for us. It's between Mandarin and Spanish for me.

But yeah, because we're, we're, we're a borderist. border state, boardie state or board colleague. It would be, it would be helpful, it would be useful. Almost every single day of my life if I could fluently speak Spanish. Really? Yeah. I can't even, we live in the same area and I can not remember the last time I have needed to speak Spanish. Well, because we get away with not speaking it, but I'm saying.

I know, but you just said every day of your life you feel like it would be helpful. When was the last time it would have been helpful? Probably yesterday. I'm saying like there would have been helpful for me today. Yeah. And yesterday and the day before? No. There's, I'm not saying every single person I meet, but you have interactions almost daily with someone who only speaks Spanish.

That is right. Okay. What are you? We live in two different worlds. Yeah. Because to get to my neighborhood, we just go into it. We don't have a big fancy gate. We don't keep the people out.

I mean, I just don't, I don't believe that you guys actually interact with pure Spanish speaking people on a daily or even weekly or even monthly. because I don't speak Spanish. I do not Espanio. Today, before 5.45 a.m., I interacted with two people that I could not speak to. Okay. All right. Because I don't know Spanish. It was recent.

All right. I honestly think I will have an interaction. Do you know what Spanish is? No. No, I do not think I will have an interaction. I think the next interaction I have with a human. Oh, my God. Dead.

interacting with one of those Spanish speakers. No, I'm just saying, I've lived here for 40 years. Oh, my gosh, Jason. I'm saying that my next interaction where I can't speak the language of someone will probably be in Paris five months from now. All right, man. All right. There are two gates on this neighborhood. All right.

Misty from Patreon. It's a double gate. They both have different codes. Oh, my gosh. This isn't a racist. thing. You got to go in like a prison. You got to go in, let the first one close, let the second one open.

We live like two blocks from each other, you guys. I'm not do you put a moat in? What's going on over here? I feel, hold on, we've got to go to Duce's Alley. We've got to go to Durses Alley. Because y'all live in this state, too, all three of you. You don't want

to ask this question, my brother. I have to ask they're all shaking their heads, no, and I don't know which way they mean it. All right, all three of you, when is the last time you have needed to converse with a pure Spanish speaker? Today at lunch. Oh my goodness. In the last week for sure.

You are telling on yourself. Oh, Eden! Oh my gosh. Everyone in this room within the last week. My mind is blown. I don't know. Oh, no. Oh, gosh.

All right. This is taking a turn. I mean, I. Oh my gosh. Today I learned I'm racist. I don't know. I don't do anything. I just live my life.

I'm not like going out of my way. I love everyone. I love you all. I love my Spanish speaking friends. I just don't see you. Oh my gosh. This is an all-time moment. I really.

Oh, man. I can't think of the last time. Oh, well, we'll just talk after the show. All right. I'm supposed to move forward, right? Is the show's not over yet? No way. Shut it down. Oh, Misty. Misty from Patreon, would you rather?

Oh, my goodness. Okay, what Misty saying? Would you rather always have your toilet running or your faucet dripping? Oh, those are both so annoying. The toilet running is such a nuisance to my soul. I think that's the one I don't want. Oh, man, I can deal with a faucet dripping. I can deal with that.

Yeah. When that toilet is running just a little bit, I can't, I can't handle it. I have to, I have to take the lid off. And I can never fix it. Do you always take the lid off like you could fix it? 100%. Because I've fixed it. I fix it one out of every 50 times.

You just got to be the guy that looks like he's going in. Yeah, it's popping the hood. Yeah, yeah, everything looks pretty good in there. That's my reaction to anything. I'll open it. I can't see it. This should be working. That is the go-toe line, man.

I don't see nothing. I mean, I'll push the flap down and be like, maybe that does something. He's looking to unplug and plug it back in, the toilet. Where's the reset button in this tank? I basically, I wiggle things and or I go and I see the catastrophic problem. Like, sometimes you take the lid off and the chain is broken. Yeah. You're like, oh, okay, this is.

I'm going to hire somebody for this. I need to get someone out here. Or you wiggle it and it fixes Or you wiggle it and it doesn't And you go, I need to get someone out here So Oh man Oh man

And you search for English Speaking plumbers Oh my gosh I You guys It's not a You wouldn't have to I feel like I

I exposed It was something that isn't a thing. I have, this is too much fun, but I do. I have the empathy of the man. I don't even know what I stepped into. I don't know. And you just want to start apologizing.

Yeah, I'm so sorry, guys. I don't. I'm so sorry. I pre-apologized for whatever I've done wrong. Oh, my gosh. My abs. Oh, sweatshers, a bad decision, guys. I am so hot, so sweaty.

So we're not doing the toilet one, right? Did you spit tank? Oh, he's holding. He's told he's got to get it down. He's got to get it down. Woo! I got it. I mean, that was close.

It almost came up two or three times. I was mid-drinking. Woo! All right. All right, man. All right. We're going to go on. Oh, boy.

Logan from the website, would you rather fist fight your grandma? Oh. Or slap fight Mike Tyson. Interesting. You've seen the competitive slapping thing. Yeah, like the power slap. What in the world is... It feels like.

Is that. So I'm with you on that. And when I see the people doing the slap fighting, the professional slapping, where you're trying to knock somebody out. It's slap, take a turn. When they do that, it's the first time, like, you know, football. we're getting rid of concussions and you know we're doing all these things and all of a sudden here comes this sport where you're like to win you have to knock them out yeah it's awesome

okay uh you like i do i do like i've never i've never sat and watched a whole show but the concept of it seems great like the the you know there are boring fights are a thing fighting is a business boxing MMA, all these things. They are, it's big business. And sometimes you see boring fights where there's not a lot of action. People are hugging. People are in the UFC. You will always see a slap when you're watching that.

Yes, this is like, you know what? What if we just made a fight where you take turns? You take turns to say, who's got the better chin, who's got the stronger arm? That's all anybody cares about. Everybody's watching. You're watching to see who gets knocked out when you watch a fight. That's really what you're hoping for. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Watch is hope for it. Now it's like... You are always hoping for a knockout. Now they make this power slap thing and it feels too on the nose. Like, oh man, that's like something's unfair or mean or whatever. But it's not. It's not at all. It's awesome. Yeah, it's weird. But I, you know, if you slap by Mike Tyson, you're getting knocked out. Yes. If you fist fight your grandma, she's getting knocked out. Oh, I'm, I'm winning because my grandma's, they're not here anymore. Yeah, my grandma's, my grandma's, I'm gonna punch a tombstone. I'm gonna be punching some dust. Any of you, any of you guys have a grandma we can fight? Yeah, we, I need to borrow a grandma. I need to borrow grandma too. Hold on, but hold on. Could I, could I take her? Yeah, definitely.

Okay, thank goodness. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I could pull my punches. You know what I mean? I'm going to box grandma and I'm not going to. Dude, it doesn't take much. It doesn't take much, but I, you know, I mean, speaking of Tyson, we just watched someone box Tyson and they were pulling back because it was like,

I could, I could knock this guy out, but I'm not going to. I feel like you could just have a play. faithful boxing match with grandma. It doesn't say, you know, to the death. This isn't, you know, in the Coliseum. It could be, yeah. If you're not grandma over, that might be the end. Oh, my God. What if you, what if, just put yourself in this situation. For charity, million dollars to charity. Okay. It's such a good cause. Yes, I'd punch my grandma for a million dollars. Yeah, no, no, but it's not to you. It's to charity. This is a good event. And no, just hear me out here. It's not as good. And Matt Pingree, the Falcon, his grandma, who he is

offered up for us to fight his grandma for a million dollars to charity we put on a nice little boxing match and we know it's going to be mostly foe it's going to be mostly just i'm going to give you a little whatever and you're in that fight ding ding ding all the the the circus show the fanfare of the crowd this is a great time you're there she gives you a little punch you give her a little you know a little tiny little tap on the shoulder oh she did her ankle kind of buckles she falls over she breaks her hip, she dies in that event. Yeah, it's not great.

That's why we don't fight the grandmas. How would you feel? It's not my grandma. That sounds like his problem. He volunteered his grandma to fight me. Oh, man. But would you feel guilty?

Would you take that on? Would I feel response? Yes, 100%. You would feel response for the old sweet grandma that you punched and fell over. But no, no, no. Like, you barely tapped her. But you would just, yes, you would feel 100%

responsible. But where's the line on that? Like, like, what if you took your grandma hiking? You know what I mean? Or if you took our wing suiting. What goes to like extreme? I'm just saying, but then all of a sudden something happens, you fall over and fighting and hiking are very different sports. Yeah. One of them the goal is to get up the mountain. Yeah. The other one is to make money for charity. Hurt the other person. All right. I'm just trying to see how you feel. We're going to take a break and we're going to get into Man of the People. All right, I am so happy to get to throw it over to Al Borland here.

Welcome in, Al. Well, wait, don't we need to... I was just throwing it to Al because I was going to ask him to hit the button to introduce the segment. Can you push the segment button there? Someone? Anyone? Oh. Hold on.

There it is. Man of the people. All right, we are going to, before we get into our draft, we're going to play a game. It's called Man of the People. and Al Borland has been furiously hitting the street, surveying hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people. It's about half of what he does. To find some answers. And we've got seven rounds of playing man of the people.

Would you like to clarify any more of the rules out? You get three points if you get the first answer. You get two points if you get the second. One point for any other answer. Last round is worth double. And Andy is the two-time returning chance. Two-time, which is crazy because I feel like forever. He didn't win for a long time to start this game.

No, I don't remember that. All right, let's get into round one and figure out if I know the people. I feel like I know the people, you know? Right. That's what I've learned today. Yeah, you know them all. Real man of the people. All righty, round one.

I asked 100 parents, name something you'd tell your children to do first before getting married. Oh, did I win? Yeah, you won. Oh, something. Is it green? To do first before you get married. Two. bank account

do a bank account that is not on the list it's not you're good marital counseling oh that's a good one that is not on the list that's a great answer

that is a good answer I don't know anything today I don't understand the world read me the question again name something you tell your children to do before getting married a pre-nup if that's on the

okay i don't know that you guys were in the right vein i don't think we were things to accomplish before you go on vacation the plunge yeah i think we all took it as advice for your kid getting married yeah well i was like hey get a joint bank account to be fair i think andy buzzed in before he knew the final question i think he was ready to say brush your teeth or something you i saw that right right yeah you thought the question was going to be hold on i thought it was about your kid getting up in the morning. Read the question one more time.

Name something you'd tell your children to do first before getting married. Yeah, that is, to me, totally implies these are, you're going to get married. Here's what you need to do. But you're saying the foundation is more like. Well, let's hear the answers. The number one

answer, finish school. The number two answer, fall in love. Oh my gosh. The number three answer, get a job. The number four answer. was date multiple people and the number six or five answer

was live together. So it's a six, it's six rounds, not seven. Yeah, all right. All right. All right. We need to. I think, can we all get a point for that? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. Let's see if this one goes any better. Name a place that single people travel to for its party atmosphere.

I hit the button, but nothing happened. You're good, Jay. Um, What was the question? No, no, no. The music concert. Not on the list. Perfect. I've got one.

You're good. The beach. Not on the list. What in the world is happening? Read the question one more time for it. Name a place that single people travel to for its party atmosphere. I mean, I got another answer, but. So then these are geographical places.

Amsterdam. Amsterdam is number five on the list. I mean, I, I, No points for you. I was like going spring break, so I said the beach. Yeah. I would have said. Las Vegas.

That was the number one answer. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but I don't get points for it. Nope. Nope. This is the worst. Commandingly.

Never. Not going to great. We had Las Vegas at number one, Cancun at number two. Can we stop talking about singles and married and whatever the heck we're doing? New Orleans at three, New York at four, Amsterdam at five and L.A. at six. See, I didn't know you were looking for exact places like that city. Those hundred people got it.

I only switched it because you're too. You're the one on the board. You're the one that asked these questions to them now. Can you guide the people next time? All right. Name something your house is full of after Christmas. Mike. Rapping paper.

Rapping paper is the number two answer. Food. Food leftovers, number three answer. I'm going to go with garbage. Wouldn't that be wrapping paper? Yeah. It's not on the board. I would consider that like wrapping paper.

Do a different answer. I'll give you a different one. Okay. What is it? Oh, you're saying I can get another answer. You guess something that it already guessed. Five, four, three. Toyes.

Yes. What's that? Toys. Yeah. Presence was the number one answer. And I think toys is good. Yeah, it's 100%. There you go.

This is how the game works. We had, uh, so Jason just got the number one answer. Yeah. Well, he didn't get it wrong. He said the same thing as me, which they would, the judges would go, and you would get to answer again. Correct. So the number one answer, presents. Number two, wrapping paper, food and leftovers three, pine needles was four, boxes was five,

and people was six. Pine needles. When's the last time you guys have had a real Christmas tree? Well, we live in the desert, so never. 20 years ago. I mean, I used to have, we, I think growing up, we always had a real one. And I was Mr. You Can Only Have Real Trees. Bang the table, I'd get under there. I do love the smell. That was why. The smell, even though you had to water it. and do all that stuff.

Yeah, it turns out probably a bad idea. Chop down that tree to have it die in the room and catch fire. We were like, well, done with this thing, this beautiful tree that could have lived for a long time, into the garbage. I had a Christmas tree after my wife and I got married right off the bat where we had a Christmas tree that we put in the backyard when it was over with Christmas. And we left it there for so long that this thing was a. pile of just rotten just tin it was ready to you put a magnifying glass near that thing and it was going up fire hazard all right so through three rounds we've got uh mike adjacent tied with four and he has two all right question number four name a product that you might choose to buy because it

is soft a pillow a pillow is number three and oh man clothing uh that is the number a shirt is number five answer five barely made it on a blanket blanket or sheets number four answer i would have gone bed bed and pillow should go together but bed's probably number one uh toilet paper number one answer i thought jason would get yeah good answer so we had toilet paper then bread then pillow then sheets bread towel and shirt because it's soft you only buy it because it's soft we've surveyed 100 and inebriated people for each of these questions. I'll take a pillow. Sheath, bread. How soft's that water? I like soft water. Like, well, I wasn't going to buy it.

But you, do you see how soft this is? I can't not buy it. I mean, when I pick it up, I just squeeze it in the liquid. This is incredible. It could be a pillow. Oh, my gosh. So soft. They buy it only because of how soft it is.

pillow toilet paper bread I was gonna buy this loaf of bread I was one to make a sandwich but I can't it's not squeezable enough not soft enough all right

it's French bread all right through four rounds we have Mike adjacent tied with five Andy with three oh there we're sorry I had to make sure the buttons were reset malfunctioned there

if you got a new puppy name something that you would teach it oh party train yeah that's the number one Potty training is the number two answer. Oh, dang. I'm in. Who are these people?

You interviewed some dumb dumbs. How to sit. Sit is the number one answer. Booia! It should be the number two, Mike. I'm with you. Go ahead, Andy. My dog peas and poops inside, but check this out.

Sit. I got my priorities in order. I have no idea, so I'll just say, I don't know, how to, where to eat. Golf. I'll teach you how to golf. I mean, what else do you teach a pad between pooping and roll over? Oh, just like, lay down. Well, sit?

Yeah. Stay. How to eat, not on the board. Stay. We did have fetch. Watch. Nom, nom, nah. Now you.

Look, look at me. Look at dad. That. This is how you eat. This is how you drink. Lap, lap, lap. I put the food in the bowl and I just put my teeth in it. I mean, like, where the food is or something.

Not how. Did I say how? I can't. He said how to eat. Where? All right. This one's over. Number three was Fetch.

Number four, roll over. Yeah, fetch is so obvious. I should have gone with that one. Number five is not to chew. And number six was stay. Okay. But remember, I hate this thing. Again.

The most important thing. Way more important than peeing and pooping outside. It's not mathematically impover. but I don't think Andy's going to win three in a row here. Jason currently with eight, Mike with seven, Andy with three. Name an activity or hobby that people commonly take up after retirement. Oh, dang. Golf.

Yeah, that's the one. Golf is the number one answer. I'm going to go cruising. Traveling is the number three answers. Yeah, all right. He's doing a lot of these answers that turn into the number one. It's great. Once again, how to eat.

No, I would say painting. Not on the board. It is not on the board. What? It's honestly not that bad compared to some of these gardening, fishing, playing an instrument, and knitting. Yeah, painting. Okay. I'll take painting over knitting.

That's fine. I almost said crocheting. Would that have counted for knitting? Yes, I would have counted that. Cool. We are on to the final round, which is worth double. Name something. A kid would do.

after school to make an extra buck. Paper route. Oh, man. How old is the audience? Paper route is the number three answer. Mow the lawn. Mowing lawn. Oh, shoot.

I thought you were out of the game. Why are you even, why are you tapping it to take my only? Andy's up. And he did get the number one answer. Oh, come on. And it is worth double. So I'm tied with Jason.

If you're not on the board, we tie. Okay. So what's the question? Oh, no. Name something a kid would do after school to make an extra buck. This is easy. It's on the board. Babysit is the number two answer. Boo-ya! You're going to win! Yeah, I know. I was already in the lead.

That is correct. That was worth four points, which puts him at 13, Mike at 12, Andy at 9. I told you I was a man of the people. Is this week's man of the people? That was a dirty win. It was a dirty win. It was a dirty game. It was a good win. All right, here we go. We'll take a break. We'll come back with a draft. The Spitballers Draft. how you do it. It makes a crunchy. We are drafting.

It's perfect. This show has been absolutely electric. And now to the draft. We're drafting hours of the day. Best hours of the day. There are 24 to choose from. Man, 12 of these hours are going to get left out feel pretty bad about themselves. That is true.

So we will let Mike take the one. 101 here. Thanks guys. What a lucky guy. I have. It's a clear one-on-one. You'd be quiet over there. I have two directions I could go. You keep saying that and I don't know what that means. There's two directions that I want to go. What is? You knew you were the first pick coming in? Yeah. No. But it was drafting the best hours of day. So I have not thought about it at all. You're not passionate about one hour? All right. I'm going to take. I'm going to go 7 a.m. 7 a.m. Wow. 7 a.m. is the optimal time to wake up. Not on my list. That's fine.

Okay. Continue to explain it. 7 a.m. is the optimal time to wake up. It's I feel like I have slept in long enough. Sometimes it would be nice to be later, but bring it home. Anything earlier than 7 is too early, and the kids are not awake,

and I get my coffee, and I go sit outside, and I am alone by myself. Do you want to know what I have a list of my favorite 12 times? Do you know what my number one was? I'm guessing 7 a.m. 7 a.m. My man. With coffee.

Yes. That's the reason why that is the best time. I literally, I have my list of my top 12. Okay. 7 a.m. not on my list. Yeah. So what's your, but I'm not a morning person. Yeah, you're asleep.

I'm just not. I'm a night person. I'm taking the only time that has a holiday. I literally get new. year's eve i'm taking midnight that's the clock strikes midnight on new year's eve i'm getting on i'm getting two days in my answer i get yesterday that's not how time works it kind of is you know what i mean midnight is that is that yesterday is that today is that tomorrow it's all no no one is confused about what time midnight is no one is confused midnight is today midnight is today so if you drafted new year's eve at

midnight you drafted the day before and i but everyone listening knows i still got it is that you You think about midnight as being... Midnight is the new day. Which I know it's 12 a.m. But I'm saying I actually think of as the last moment of the previous day. Exactly. But that's how people envision time. But that's how people envision time.

There's no other spot on the clock like that. None. It's not a very special pick. It's not very good. You're asleep most of the time. You get one day a year with it. Mike's enjoying coffee 365. It was...

The problem is it was PM and now it is AM. Yeah. It's the next day. I'm going to go with 5 p.m. Oh, that was my next pick. I'm going with 5 p.m. because it's when the work day ends. It's the end of the workday.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere. Yeah. And, I mean, you got that too. But for the majority of the 9 to 5, that's the moment you are free from the job. Okay. And I'm going to follow that up with what I consider my, like, bookend to your 7 a.m. coffee. I'm going and the time's going to

vary for other people, but I'm going 10 p.m. Okay. Because 10 p.m. That is, I'm nestling down to watch a TV show, get cozy and fall asleep. That's my 10 p.m. So, and then 10 p.m., it leads right into

the 7 a.m. coffee. Yeah. It's a good back to back. So 5 o'clock and 10 p.m. All right. I would have taken 5 p.m. That was your next one. That's a good pick. but look I'm going to keep dominating this thing y'all y'all y'all playing checkers I'm playing chess

y'all drafting numbers I'm getting names I'm taking noon okay okay you get okay you're where you're okay corral when we meetin you know when high noon high noon I thought you were talking about the buffet place yeah golden corral you know when we're meeting we're meeting high noon high noon by the barbecue we'll be there till midnight this buffet ain't big enough for the both of us

I do think midnight and noon look very nice on your list. Thanks. But why do you like noon? Just to be able to call it not a number? 100%. That is the reason. That is the only reason. The fact that there is a number.

Your buzzer keeps flashing red every two seconds. So I was like, yeah. I mean, I just think when I look at all these times, there's things, reasons I like it for the day. But there's only one midnight, only one noon. And the others are all just numbers. There's two of every other thing.

No, there's two of every other thing. There's 10 a.m. 10 p.m. Okay. All right. That's not a bad angle. Yeah. I mean, there's two 12s. To be clear, there's two 12th. No, but there's only one noon and there's only one midnight.

Okay. So, yeah, that's true. That's not a bad argument. Mike, you have 7 a.m. You're sipping your coffee. All right. What's your next time? So the other time that it's basically, it's the same idea that you were on, Andy.

I didn't know if I wanted to go to 7 a.m. time, but there's the theme. So 7 a.m. alone. No kids? 9 p.m. Kids are gone. Now 9 p.m. is how late am I going to stay up?

But 9 p.m. is when that starts to shut it down everywhere else? That's my time. I'm going to watch some shows. Maybe I'll play some video games. May I will play some guitar? I don't know. Same thought. Yeah. But that's my time. And mine would, I would say 9 p.m. And mine would have been nine if my kids were younger.

That would have been my favorite time. The older they get, the later my time games. 9 p.m. when you had little kids was a dream. That was our time. We had kids that went to bed super early back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your children never saw the stars for their first few years. They didn't know there was midnight.

What's the moon? Do you have another pick though, right? Oh, thank goodness, because I've been really waiting to get this one out into the world. What's available? Most all the hours of the day. Yeah, yeah. But none of the names. I thought you were going to say that.

Let's then let's go, we'll go 6 p.m. here. We're going din din. That's, it's on, yeah, it would have been my next pick. That's pretty high up there. And in my, in parentheses, after. Who amongst us doesn't love dinner? Yeah. My answer on my list is 6 p.m. parentheses dinner.

Yeah, same. That's, because that's the right time to eat. Jeremy, you could just write dinner in for my, for my answer. I don't think so. Well, you get midnight and noon. That's the name of the hour. No, Mike. No.

Because dinner, people eat dinner at five. They eat it at seven. Yeah. Nice try. Sometimes people eat it at midnight. Nice try. Shameful, but. But I do.

But I do it. That's fourth meal, man. Yeah, that's true. All right. So I am back up here. I've got midnight and noon. No more names to be taken. I'm going to take a.

Hold on. I'm going to take 10 a.m. And the reason I'm taking 10 a.m. Is because in our work day, a 10 a.m. We're usually done with our big recording. It's kind of nice. You feel like you're on to the next phase of the day. And on the weekend, that is the dream.

Can't ever happen. But the dream sleep. The sleep until 10 a.m. You want to sleep until 10? I wish I could. The day is gone. Nah, the day, I got a whole day ahead of me at 10 a.m. But that late night sleeping.

8 o'clock feels like what 10. used to feel like. Yes, I will admit that we're old enough now where like sleeping until eight feels like that recovery. But, you know, I'm also young enough to remember what it felt like sleeping until 10. It feels pretty good. So I'm taking that 10 a.m. I think. No, you're not. You have got to put our reasons for these times. They can't just be a list of 7, 9, 6, 9, 6, midnight, noon 10. I don't know, me. You've got to give a one line or two line reason. Okay, yeah. So like 6 p.m. Dinner. Yes, you can have it next to it. Yeah. Okay, fine. That's exactly right. I have to make two picks.

I have 5 p.m. You guys are taking away the power of my names. You got 5 p.m. because the day's, the workday's done. You got 10 p.m. Because I'm watching TV and get ready for sleep. My last two picks, I'm going 8 a.m. Breakfast. I'm going breakfast.

Okay. If you get the time to enjoy breakfast, breakfast is awesome. And then I'm going to go with 4 p.m. You want to know why? I do. No. Because the work day's almost done. Oh, man.

And that feels pretty good. good too. It's like Thursday. It's the last hour. When it hits four, you're like, oh my gosh, it's almost five. It's like third. It's almost my, it's almost my first pick. Yeah, that's, that's nice. So there you go. I can understand that. Now I don't have to answer any more days. You have four p.m. and five. Yes, I do. He really likes the early afternoon. I'm speaking to the every man or woman out there in the nine to five. Four o'clock means five o'clock is on the way. I'm going to speak to a lot of our audience where their workday is over. I'm talking about 3 p.m. school is out.

Schools, at least in Arizona, that's about the time that all schools get out, 3 p.m. And so that was a very important time for a large portion of all of our lives where you're just watching for that clock. And it's even better than usual, like, work, whatever your job is. I mean, some jobs you clock in, you clock out on the dot. But for the most part, even if you're scheduled until five, you don't necessarily just watch the clock tick down and then an alarm goes off and says, you have to leave now. But that's what happens at school.

It was awesome. Okay, Mike. You've got your coffee time, your kids asleep time, your dinner time. So I'm going to go. This is very west coast, Pacific. time specific centric. Okay. I'm going

and I say that because we are time changes here, well time changes everywhere else but here. So stuff. Can I guess? Yeah, you can. This is an 11 a.m. football. This is an 11 a.m. because 11 a.m. means NFL football is kicking off. It's such a good pick. That's what my prince says. Seven hours. That was

that was my Hanson. It's not very good. But yeah, 11, I'll take 11 a.m. because that's when that's when the old football happens. Well, there you go. Mike has 7 a.m. 9 p.m. 6 p.m. and 11 a.m. Jason has 12 p.m. 12 a. I got midnight and noon. You put respect on my name.

10 a.m. and 3 p.m. I got 5 p.m. 10 p.m. 8 a.m. 4 p.m. And for goodness sakes, the draft is over. What did we learn today? I learned I'm racist. I mean, I had no clue. I really didn't think so. Well, now you know. Now I know. You can take stuff.

You know what? I learned that about you too. Oh, no. I don't want to be tagged with this. But, I mean, I didn't know it. Isn't that say something? I didn't even know. Yeah. I mean, I thought I wasn't.

Mike, do you learn anything? I learned that I could fight a grandma for charity. You could. Million dollars. I've always believed in you. Not my fault. Not at all. I wonder if this will be the last show we ever do. Goodbye, everybody.

Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other not. since the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.