Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Frozen Freakout & The Best Midnight Snacks - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

The Spitballers return with another brand new episode! We kick things off right with another hilarious Would You Rather before things go off the rails in a hotly contested round of Guess Guess Goose. The laughs keep flowing til the end with a Best Midnight Snacks Draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip. Zit, zip. Zat, zit up. Okay. Trying to rescue it. What? There it is. there. I was so hoping you went for a third one.

Oh, that's, that's the Zabababudadadidu to do it. That's the underrated way to save it. Spitballers episode 372. Yeah, they took it from a two to a two point. That's a good point. How dare you? Would you rather on the show today? Last week we just got more Biddingi. Yeah, but that was a 25% increase. Mine was twisted into the lyrics.

This guy's over here. It's like, hey, what if? What if I just did the same thing every week? And you're like, oh, my God, nine and a half out of ten. I don't think I've said Biddingi in a long time. I think if you went to the tape, it's been a bazillion years. Oh, yeah. It's been a... It felt like time to bring it back.

Yeah. But I hear what you're saying. You want one for next week. Since you had scattered, it had been exactly three new shows since Biddingi had been brought up. Somebody's jealous. Would you rather guess, guess, guess, goose. We can nailed that. Zab,

Zab with his weed up. And best foods you eat after or at midnight. Best midnight snacks is another way to put it. This is. It's shameful. The only things eating at midnight are shame. Are full of shame. You're not going out there and grilling a chicken breast.

No, no. You're like, oh man, give me a chicken breast at midnight. I'm going to roast some broccoli. Feels really good. Get a nice rest in, have my protein. I mean, we both. Now, this is where I go and I shut the pantry door with myself inside. It's already dark out.

So I can't be found. You're dark inside the dark. Yeah. I got my phone flashlight out. No way you know I'm in. Are you going to draft Hawaiian rolls? It's on the list. Thank you for joining us on X at Spitballers Pod.

You can follow Jason at Jason Moore at Jason Moore. I forgot your name wasn't. Yeah. You've got Jason. Jason Moore. Yeah. That's your name. No, no.

Read them all. Read them all. And then I'm at Andy Holloway. Yeah. So Jason Moore or at Andy Holloway or. Makes sense. At FF Hitman. Oh.

What? Hmm. Zipid his read them. Spitballerspod.com's the website. Let's get started. Would you rather? Well, this is weird. Would you rather have three hours less or three hours more of sunlight each day?

Why would I want less? I don't understand this question I'm going to give a qualifier first of all in both situations the three hours is split to each side of like sunrise sunset okay still sun sun sun more sun more sun I don't know

that means the sun is coming up an hour and a half earlier we have like a whole system built called daylight savings time to give us more daylight when we don't have enough you know what I've been figuring in Arizona we said that's for the birds I know because we have enough we don't do that bull crap

All right, let me argue the other side. Don't you guys ever think, wouldn't it be nice? No, genuinely. Wouldn't it be nice if it was like, it was dark and depressing and there was no light outside. Right. And while you're awake.

Yeah, yeah. I'm awake, but like, man, it's dark outside. I can't see anything. I guess if I was into laser tag. Am I selling you on this? Laser tag will be upgraded. Hold on. I need hours.

I need, we need to label this. Okay, so the way my world works, I don't actually care when the sun comes up. But like when the sun, the sun starts waking me up around 5.30. Right now in Arizona. Yeah, in the summer, yeah. Yeah. But guess what they got? Who's they?

They got an eye mask and it just makes it dark all the time. That's true. Or blackout curtains or, you know. The solutions are there. Yeah. But let's say it gets. So the sun should not have to. Do you guys have to find my lids?

Mike, you're. So in this case, the sun gets up an hour and a half later. So it's seven. And then it goes down. No, no, no, no. No. Which way are you going to? It's both signs.

It's going to. So in this question, three hours more, what you're. Oh, you're doing the more. You're talking 4 a.m. Yeah. It would be up. And like 8 p.m. Really, really early.

But the thing is, and this is what I didn't see a sunrise. That would be a problem. That would be a problem. Yeah, you would really be. Do you do you? No. I'm not seeing sunrises. Do you blackout curtain?

We have technically blackout blinds, but the cracks on the side are so bright. Yeah, it's the same as us. Right now, I just have the, you know, the, what are the blinders? The shutters, thank you, thank you. The shutters, but they're, you know, 10 plus years old so they don't really hold the up position, you know. Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah, as things get older, holding the up positions, more different. Either of you use a sleep mask?

Yeah, sometimes. I did. I have misplaced my sleep mask. I am on my 24th. I have no idea where it is. I'm on my 24th sleep mask. When I move and they get rid of this bed, there will be a graveyard of sleep masks under my bed.

I mean, it's just like, I don't understand how they... Do you get the Manta one? I don't know the brand. I get the one where it's like... Wait, Josh, I can just tighten the screw and it's all fixed? If they're plantation shutters, yeah. They have a little adjustment screw to... change to the resistance. What kind of screw? Is this a star? Is this just a phillips? I can't deal with

the star, man. No, the star. I don't have the star. Who has star screws? You said you have blackout curtains and the sun creases. Those are, those are, those are you ever sleep mask? I wear a C-Pap. I don't, I don't want more things strapped to my face. I mean, I have, I have tried the sleep mask. I can't, I can't do it. Sometimes when I go to sleep mask, I see pap. No, I get it. Sometimes when I go to sleep. I feel ridiculous. I feel like Barry Bonds. So if you're not familiar, Barry Bonds used to just armor up for every other bad. You could just say like a like a, like a, a, the, a night in Camelot. I will sometimes, if I'm doing the whole routine, if I'm doing the whole routine, okay, describe the whole routine. Okay, whole routine. I'm going to take,

I've got a little device by my bed that is like a electromagnetic feel. I'm going to turn the sleep motor. on on that. Wait, wait. Is that the C-Pap? No, no, no, no, no. I also have a C-Pap. I will wear a C-Pap. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have a what? It's like an electromagnetic field. That does what?

It changes. Nobody knows. Well, so there's a No, no, no, no, no, no. We're not walking past. You have what? It's like a P-M-F. What does that even mean? Mike is hardcore about this,

Jason. No, no, Josh is with me. No, I'm a Jay on this one. Oh, oh, boom! In your face. You have Josh on your side. Hold on. Oh, in my face. Hold on. So, this thing does what? It gives pulse electromagnetic fields while you sleep or wake.

There's different modes. So in the morning, sometimes I lay on the mat and I use it. But when I go to sleep, I put the little... What is your mat? It's a mat. It's a... Not your bed? No, that goes on to... top of the bed that is on top of my other mattress cover. What is happening? Andy,

Andy, you can't let me be alone. What is happening? Listen. I didn't. What? I wouldn't let that part out. What is happening? I should have left that part out. I would have left that part out. You put your, uh, your cell phone on airplane mode so that the five Gs don't get you, correct? Yeah. With this device. You turn your, you turn your Wi-Fi router off. All right. Oh, hell. Yeah, he does. Getting back to, getting back to my sleeper. team when I go the whole and your television never goes on. This is why I'm worried.

This is why I need the PEMM. Are you the guy from Better Call Saul? Close. He's also barefoot on the earth. He cut a little hole in the bottom of his room. Well, the grounding is the mat. It's a grounding mat, Mike. I do ground in the morning,

but it's on a mat under the red light panel like everybody does. This is normal. He just opened up the red light panel as well. What is happening? This is all in addition to your armor. So then I've got my nose strip. Oh my gosh, I'm robbing you.

I am robbing you. Then I've got- You are helpless at night. Then I've got my mouth tape. You imagine him getting up to defend his family? Then I've got my CPAP. And then I've got my sleep mask. You're as close to one of those people in the chambers when they send him off into space

to be in comas for years? You go to sleep at night as Bain from Batman. I just need some kind of like, Body armor. Now I will rest. If I had a body armor suit while I slept, I'd be perfect. What are you doing? And when the robber breaks in, he goes, give me a second.

Give me a second. I got to get some of that stuff on. Do you have to have a team come in and hook you up? No, I can do this all by myself. Who puts the catheter in? The catheter is the nurse. Okay. But she's, you know, she lives on site.

What is happening? Mike is, Mike's eyes are opening. Yeah. Do you see how healthy is, though? Man, I feel like I shouldn't open my mouth. But you also then you sleep on top of your subscription mattress. Correct. My pod, well, my, uh, we're not a sponsor, so, you know, bleep it out.

Yeah, yeah, don't say their name. When he gets to the breakfast table, he actually reviews reports from the previous night for 45 minutes. He gets emailed by. That's toilet time. He gets email. I get my morning text. I get my morning text about how my sleep was. and that's toilet time.

Out of curiosity, when you get the morning... Are you ever like, I disagree? Sometimes. Sure. But rarely. I feel terrible. And you're telling me, I slept great. At the bottom of the text is to say, you may need to buy these other three things for better sleep.

No, I'm all tapped out. If you do it right now, if you do it right now, six months for the price of three. But only if you do it right now. Are you unsubscribing from this podcast? No, I'm looking up my report. morning. I got a text. You know, your reports. Yeah, well, this one is one of them. It says, good

morning, Jason. What is happening in your room? Sleep fitness score, 87. That's pretty good score. Oh, you are, you are so fit. I got seven hours and seven minutes of sleep last night. That's not bad. An hour and nine minutes of deep sleep. Two hours, 14 minutes of rim. And then, goodness, my 71

beats per minute heart rate. It's a little high. That does seem a little high. 20-hour rate. It's being electrocuted a night. That's good for being electric. It's probably from all of the pimps. Well, the pimps. That is pimpf. Pemph. How long does it take you to go to bed?

Like five minutes. I fall asleep something. No, no, no, no, no. No, after the 20 minutes setup, I'm right to sleep. After I get my magnesium. Oh, yeah, you. We haven't even gotten into supplements. Yes. Once I take my EAAs and my magnesium.

Is it glycinate? What are you thrown down? How do you know these words? It's just, come on, man. This is what everybody does. When he goes... No, we lay down and we close our eyes and we go to sleep. You imagine if there's a draft and he had to go fight and like sleep in the wilderness?

I'm so... Camping is out then. Camping is... I mean, look, I can... How do you go to a hotel? I can slum it at a hotel. If I go to a nice resort, I can... What, okay, minimum...

Where are my pimps at? Minimum. Minimum stars needed for you. Oh, boy. Minimum four? But like, I'm not going there. Come on. I'll look at it. And we'll be like,

can you imagine? Is that entire 15-minute diet tribe why you don't wear a sleep mask? Yeah, that's why. Okay, because you still look cool. You're a better man. You still look cool. You just hook up one machine. Yeah.

What are your pre-bed supplements? I do do the magnesium. Yeah! Yeah! We are old! I take some stronger prescription sleep aids as well. Oh, see. And what about you there, Papa Josh?

What do you take before bed? I take a lot, man. Okay. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. Guys. Wait, Andy, what's your sleep routine?

Do you have things you do? Do you take a supplement? Do you... I like how no one has mentioned. I brush my teeth. I'm trying to think before bed. I take a real sugary magnesium drink. I swish it around.

No, I do brush my teeth. I wash my face. I moisturize my face. Oh, my gosh. It's getting longer. I usually put my... Hey, I'll stand for skin care. Take care that skin care.

And then, Sometimes there's some products I put in my hair. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, so that's all fine. Pre-sleep is fine. You lose me at the electronics. You don't have time to sleep. No, it's like a good 45-minute routine.

I want more sunlight. I don't care. I can solve the problem of it being too bright. Absolutely. Let me play devil's advocate real quick. What was that? The devil's advocate. Aggregate.

Is there any implications to temperature? Because if you have more sunlight in the day, temperatures are going to rise. You think my AC is not at 73, bro? I'm just saying even outside, like it's going to get hotter earlier. No. Not indoors. I'm not golfing in the dark.

So whenever it's light, that's when I'll go golfing. Yeah. I mean, I... You're going to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning? Are you saying that... If the golf course was open and it would be like, heck yeah. There are places where you can test these extremes. You go go live in Alaska and you're going to get like two hours of sunlight or two hours of, you know, darkness.

Are you saying you actually... actually would you, your choice would be three hours less? Yeah, I'm firmly on. So what about five hours? No, you would not. What about five hours left? Josh is with me. All right.

You guys, like you guys go to Seattle, have the dark, dreary. Seattle's not going to do it. No, I'm just cloudy. A lot less sunlight. It's just cloudy. The sun is still up. No, the sun still exists, but that's less sunlight.

You're telling me that there's not less sunlight with clouds. It's diffused. It's not gone. It matters. You could have gone to Alaska. No, no. You could have gone Alaska. Like you could have gone Iceland.

Suicide rates are higher in Seattle because the sun is behind clouds. I do. I do. It's real. Well, there's like in Alaska you have to have like daylight lamps that you sit in front of to get rid of seasonal defect. Seasonal defective? No, that's my dad. Seasonal depression.

Depression disorder. There is. I think it's effective. Oh, okay. I was close. There is a magic. But it's the seasons. Like, you know, right now while we're recording,

It's like the sun is up. A lot. It's too much. I would say I would vote so much. I would vote for it being the morning, I would rather be coming up at 7 o'clock than 5.30. I do agree with that. But if I had to trade it for the nighttime being dark at 5.30 instead of 7 or something. But you need that for the magic of Christmas.

You want it to be dark for the morning. The magic of Christmas, part of it is the sun goes down at 4.35 p.m. and then it's just dark for this long period of time where you're like, am I supposed to be tired? And then you look at it, you're like, it's five. I haven't had dinner. What is happening? I am just fascinating.

Do you plan to add supplements or are you pretty much capped out? I am just going up for a... No, I'm older you get. I'm capped out until new technologies exist. I'm really looking forward to the next wave of peptides. Ooh. Is there a sleep peptide? Coming soon.

Uh, yeah, no, there are some that have helped me to sleep for sure. Well, this is a, there's a perfect follow-up. Would you rather give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a bull snake or a raccoon? What? Oh, what? Why would you want to give mouth-to-mouth to a snake over a raccoon? I feel like raccoon has a whole set of teeth. I can control a snake.

Oh, my gosh. I'm not putting my mouth on a snake. Is it, that's what it is for you? Yeah, it's what it is. It's a monster. A raccoon is a cute thing. It's got teeth. Isn't a snake?

Pap kind of like a snake. Yes. Raccoons are amazing because they are simultaneously so cute and adorable and cuddly. But they're dirty. And then they can go and they're like, oh my God, that's a. They got claws tea. Yes. If they ate plants out in the wilderness, we wouldn't think they're gross.

No, they don't, but they eat garbage. Yeah, they just dig through garbors. They eat your garbage. Yeah. Look, I feel like I can control the snake if I'm holding a snake. A bull snake is not a raccoon. That's not a venomous snake. No.

Correct. So he just might give you a little love bite? Correct. He would. I mean, he's going to be asleep while I'm resuscitating him. They've got to get him awake. Does he have the retractable fangs? Or is he a constrictor?

Will I blow him up? I don't know the answer to that, Josh. Oh, that's a good point. The CPR to a snake, you might explode him. Would you blow him up? There's only one non-venomous snake. It's like a balloon animal. Wait, what?

There's only one non-venous snake that has fangs. Is it a bull snake? No. Okay. What is it? So it has no bite? Oh, it just has teeth. I think it's the Jacobson's boa or Jacobso's something like that.

Does a bull snake have teeth? Yes, they have teeth. But like little. Little teeth. Sure. They don't get the big sharp ones. Okay, let me ask you this. Genuine.

No disease, no venom. Oh, man. They're nasty. Would you rather be bit on the arm, just right on your forearm by a raccoon or a bull snake? I think a bull snake. I feel like it's a raccoon. I would freak out at the snake. I would

freak out at the snake. I would I would freak out at the snake. 10 days to Sunday. Okay. Would Jeremy just send a picture of a raccoon with his teeth with his with his with his the raccoon looks like it's made by AI. It's so scary. That that that raccoon has a human mouth.

That's no. That's not. That's his mouth. That's a That's a that's a full set of choppers. What do you think it is? Did he have braces? He had braces. His teeth are very straight. Has he never seen a raccoon skeleton before? Look at this, Jay. It's got canines and incisors for days.

What is that? What is that? No, that's a monster. That's a raccoon? That's not a raccoon. Absolutely not. No way. Absolutely not.

I mean, there's a chance that that is what it is. That's not. No. I mean, this isn't great for audio, but what I'm looking at is a skull of a monster venomous. I mean, this is like a mythological creature. This isn't a raccoon. Look, I want to be bit by a snake.

That snake's not going to bother me. Hold on. multiple rows of small, sharp, rear curving teeth. Because they are non-venomous, they lack hollow fangs. Instead, they use their teeth to grip. They grip it and they rip it. Yeah, they grip and rip. Yeah.

But that's what I can do. I respect it. That's how I golf. I can grab a snake and rip it off of me. I cannot do that with a freaking raccoon. No, if you rip a raccoon off, your arm is also being ripped off. The bull snake would be very superficial. These teeth aren't going deep.

No. I guess we got to take a little snake here. Snakes are weird, man. The raccoon is like if you have like a gum wrapper in your pocket, you'd be like, hey, little guy. I'm going to be honest with you. Do I ever feel bad for them? Interesting. Because they don't have legs.

Like they're supposed to have arms and legs and they just don't. For snakes. No, I don't ever feel bad for monsters. Interesting. I don't know if I've ever thought about that. I've never felt bad for snakes. If you cut the legs and arms off a lizard, you feel bad for that, right? Of course. They're delightful, cute little animals.

So the honest truth is... What makes something cute? It's a little bit subjective, but it's not disgusting. Usually, they're cute. Fluffiness is a very strong... But people are all about geckos and lizards. They're all cute. I think they've got a cute little face.

Because they don't want to hurt you ever. They've got a face. They got a face of innocence. Which a raccoon is a serpent dragon. A raccoon has a very sweet face. can and then a raccoon can be a very monstrous animal. When I heard this question, I genuinely thought, is a bull snake or a squirrel? When I heard raccoon, I pictured a squirrel and that was where I was like, give me the squirrel.

Why did you picture a squirrel? Because I'm stupid, man. It's just a cute little woodland animal. Do you hear of sleep routine? It's wild. Mike was very entertained. Let's play everyone's favorite game. What time is it?

Game time. Oh, somebody's got to put on a little hat. And it's not me. Yes, me. And I don't know if it even fits on your skull. Oh, it's behind me. But it is the guest guest. It definitely does not fit on his goose cap.

I managed to not lose, which is great. Jason hasn't been the goose in a while. Yeah. What are we got? Six rounds here of guest, guess, guess, goose. You each do too. This is one of my favorite top. This is one of my top 50 Super Bowlers games.

I would agree with that. I would put it top 20. You look great, Mike. I got it strapped. Oh, he's strapped it. All right. You guys can follow along at home. You'll catch on to what we're doing.

You're getting a rear naked choke from a goose right now. It is literally trying to choke you out. And the craziest part, it's working. His arms and his legs are very visible. Yeah. While he's choking me. You're more of the egg in that situation beneath the Goose.

Burthing you. Guess, guess, goose. What percentage of Americans actually know what's going on in a rugby match? Oh, what? So rugby, if we're watching rugby, I've got to set the percentage. Americans knowing what's going on in a rugby match. Let me say this before you give you your answer. Rugby is awesome.

You love it. I know. I know. I knew you're going to say that. The fact that we don't have popularized rugby in the United States is a, it's a travesty. because Americans would love rugby. It's physical. No, you would.

Isn't it poor man's football, though? No, not at all. So you're saying football's poor man's rugby? Yes. No. Yes. I think when you talk about it in physicality terms, I think that's right. Because it's more physical and it's more like it's wild.

Rugby is such an incredible game. You went and saw it in Australia. of skill and physicality. Or did you? I did not. Oh, you saw Australian rules football. I did. But when I was in Australia, I watched so much rugby.

11%. Now, okay, you've given your answer. When I was watching rugby as an American in Australia, did I understand what was happening? No. No. Of course I did not. 11%.

The rules are ridiculous. And just a quick reminder, three points if he gets the exact percentage, two points if he's correct within 5% in each direction. and then the other two guys 11. One point if they're higher or lower is correct. 11 is such a good guess. The margin for air.

Oh, man. Yeah, because if you go lower, you're in danger. 11 is such a... What percentage of Americans actually know what's going? I'm going to go lower. I'll just say it could be too high. I got to go lower. I didn't know what you were going to say, and I wrote down less, because no matter what you said, I'm taking less. I think it's like 3%.

You're probably right. All right. Andy's going to walk away with two points because he was within 5%. The correct answer was 13. Oh, baby. Oh, baby. I knew it was a good line. Give me a break.

No way. Andy gets two. The other guys get none. I feel good. That's a good. You pull this room at zero percent. So that's a great start. All right, Mike, you're up.

It's hard because it's like, there are people out there that follow it. Well, like, you could watch it and you could understand the majority of what's going on. There's going to be... It's wild because I'll watch Olympic sports, and I feel like I understand almost all of them. But if you put rugby on, I won't know it. Here's the thing is, it's like American football, gridiron, other people watching it.

For the most part, they're going to understand what's going on, but there's so much, like, tiki-tack stuff. Nuance stuff. That we as, like, if you're an American who grew up watching football, is like the whistleblows are like holding or, off sides. You, like, you know what happened. As a casual, though, like, they don't know what's going on. For sure. All right, Mike. A great start so far. Everybody agrees. Mike. What percentage of people have heard let it go from Frozen in its entirety more than 10 times? More than 10 times. Oh, man. How many,

okay. There's a lot of things to think about there. Mike gets the set the line for us. Ten times is a really high bar. For its entirety. I am. astronomically over 10. As I imagine, everyone... Yeah, this group were all over 10. Josh, maybe no. Josh, have you heard it 10 times, would you say in its entirety? Maybe no.

No. Mike, you get to set it. I'm going to go... I'm very curious where you're going to put it. I think it's the majority. I think. 62% 60% have heard let it go from Frozen in its entirety more than 10 times.

I wrote down 55% so I'm going to go with less. Oh my God, it works. I wrote down 41%. I figured. Oh, so you guys are both lower, huh? Obviously, you have kids. That's going to bring it up, which a lot of people have kids. This is incredible.

But 10 times. I wanted a line where I knew you guys would lower, but I know it's higher. All right. What is it? It is lower. Andy, you're on fire. Says the goose. It was 42%.

You were 1% off. Oh, no. it's not. 42. That feels right. You guys, you guys each get one point. It does.

The fact that like Josh has not heard it 10 times. Like if you're not, I mean, I've heard it 700,000 times. What percentage of people? There's five people in this room. Just think about this. And four have heard it more than 10 times.

But four of them have kids. If you have kids, what percentage of people have kids? I don't know. 70% of adults. And then what percentage of those have like girls in that age? You don't even need to have... Which is...

I'm just talking... I disagree with the... I dispute. Well, here... I'm right. I'm right. You're wrong. Here's a more important question.

I dispute. A more important question with a more important answer. It's not have you seen it. It's ten times, Mike. What percentage of people... Have pooped on planes? What?

Mike's hand goes up. What percentage of people have taken a dump on a plane? Ask... Ask more. than once. What is this just a side question? Oh, this is your question. Oh, my gosh. Do you know the game we're playing? I thought you were still on the, he was still talking about let it go. Andy was listening to that me like, you let a poop go. When you're on a plane,

it's like, what do you sing when you're in the bed? Let it go. What percentage of people have pooped on planes? You get to set the line, Jason. I know your policy around public. So here's the thing. I have pooped on a plane and the if you told me, have I ever. Desperate times. Obviously you know it was desperate. Yes. I would never. I would never in public. and on a plane, goodness gracious, no. But there was a plane trip where I was like, I don't have a choice. Yeah, and they have a bathroom. So you got to.

Man, it's got to be less than half. Because you don't, most of the time when you fly, you might not even go to the bathroom. What's the score right now? Andy with three, Mike with zero, Jason with one. Okay. You know, it's not a guarantee. That's under protest.

It's not a guarantee that you go to the bathroom anytime you're on a plane. Obviously, if you go to the bathroom on the plane, the majority of time it's going to be a pee-pee, not a poo-poo. then there's people who have never flown it's in your whole life so if you haven't flown in your entire life you've never moved on a plane that that one's not factoring into my thought process what's your number i'm going to say 36% of people have pooped on a plane i think that's a good guess it's a good guess my numbers mine i agreed with your under 50% because i went 49% okay so you're going you're going 49% higher than my 36 i went 36 i went 36 i guess i should have waited for mike

lock in. I was, oh. He's pooping on a plane right now. I've, I have pooped on so many, so many planes. It's one of my favorite places to poop. It is not one of my favorite places to poop, but I have, I, I've been there. And it made your mark. All right. What's your number? Look, it's not great. 36% or lower. 36%. Poopped on a plane, 36%. Oh, it seems like the odds are you got to go, I'm going higher. I'm going to take the odds. It was higher. Thank you.

In fact, it was a slight majority at 52%. Oh, so I get no points there. Yes. Wow, the majority of people have taken a dump on a plane? My first number was 51. That's crazy. I logged with your log. Hold on.

How many people have pooped on a plane in this room? I am assuming it's just Mike and I don't think I've done it. Yeah. Okay. So the minority. Oh, no. No, Jeremy's going to hand up. So we're a majority.

Yeah. Now, so the score is what? It is four to one to one. Okay, I like this. But that does mean you have now guessed three of them within five points in each direction. She's feeling good today. We'll see if we can keep it going. What percentage of people have traveled outside of the country by themselves?

Outside of the country by themselves. So college kids and assassins. Oh, that's a good point. you're going to you're not going with you're not going with a family if you're going to now ironically i did i did this i went out i when i was what where did you go israel by myself okay i did it uh it went in my early 20s now right what was your mission my mission is a spy because i went to assassinate because i can only assume you were in college or you were a spy i was trying to do a little traveling before i settled down it is not going to be a

majority. My number we'll see if I can keep it going. I don't think it's a lot. I think it's 18%. Oh, that's the number I wrote. That's a good number. That's, daggummit. That's exactly what I think. I think it's 18%. That's my number. Mike went with? I went, I'm going lower. I'm going lower.

Spies College Kids is under that. Says man with goose on head. Oh, man. 18 was exactly. I love you making. I know what I'm talking about. 18 was exactly the number. I'm going to have to pick one way. I'm going to go lower. I think. If I had to choose 17 or 19, I'd 217. So lower.

Yeah. Zero points being awarded this round. It was higher. It was 29%. Okay. Higher, I said. That's still pretty close. Okay.

I feel fine. No, no, no. Time out. Go back to the Frozen question, please? Yeah, what percentage of people have heard let it go from Frozen in its entirety more than 10 times? Yeah, give me the answer? 42%. And the question was, what percentage of people have traveled outside of the country?

by themselves. Just a bit more. 29%. Now, the part of this to me is like, that's why we're under protest here, people. I mean, there are, not everything has to be a big flight. Like people drive it was a 42 for Frozen? Oh, I didn't think about that. So 13.

13% more have traveled outside of the country alone. It was 10 times in its entirety. That's a lot. Oh, so you know what? A lot? Traveling outside of the country. You can drive to Mexico from Arizona in five seconds. who's who's you can drive up to Canada have no no no no no I have never traveled lifers lifeers of Arizona myself no I have gone to Mexico by myself twice multiple three times

by yourself yeah I'm completely alone uh some friends yeah not with my family no no no no no no no no no no no no with another human body if I was asked if I was asked if you were going to Mexico friends that does not if I was asked this question wait with friends doesn't count as alone I would not think that would count as a loan That's what I'm saying You went with friends to Mexico I went with a mission trip to Mexico once Off

I went with one other random person I mean I met some people in Literally literally Do you understand what buy yourself weans Hmm I guess not All right Yourself means it's tough I would say like if you went on a business trip

That would be by yourself Of course Straight up your business trips are a lot I will There are a lot of international business trips Mike, straighten your goose. I am under protest, right on your goose.

Well, you should be. I flew to Columbia by myself. So yeah, okay. That counts. Yeah. That counts. There are a lot of business trips. I would think business trips are about 25 of the 29%.

Mike, you have your turn to catch up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not losing. One of you guys could be the goose. I could be the goose. This is ridiculous. What percentage of people have had a candle displayed in their homes for over a year that they have never lit.

Oh, display candle, no lighting. Okay. An unlit candle. I feel like candles are, for no good reason, gifted way too much. Candle, because candles are aesthetic. And they're like, they're just like warm. Like by, they're just a warm gift. Yeah, you don't have to light them.

They smell good. Fire gives warmth. They just are a warm gift. I think it's, I think it's a good amount of people. what percentage of people But they don't light them These people don't light up. They've had a candle

to display in their homes for over a year that they have never lit for over a year. I think it's more than how. I'm going to go 60%. Okay. That's a good line.

It's a good line, but it makes it a little easier on me because I had written down 70. That's a good enough gap where I will go higher. We're going to have a split here. Oh, okay. I'm at just below Mike's number. I'm at 54%. I like to hear that. I like to and I feel like I'm right in the middle.

You are. Fifty five. That's the number? The correct answer is 55%. So I get two points, right? You do get two points. Yes. And I get a point. Yes. You get a point. Thank you. I should be safe. Yes. And you get another one on your tally list of ones you've gotten within five percent. We really need to update the scoring rules. If the guesser, we don't, shut up. If the guesser's within a point, they should get $100. All right. Last one. What's the score? Going into this, we have Andy with five, Mike with three, Jason with four. Oh, you better get it within 5%, Jay.

I'm safe. I got to get it wrong. And you've got to get it wrong. And you've got to get it wrong. Yeah. You could be goosing. I'm looking like a goose here. It's not impossible. All right. All right. When given the choice of Superman's X-ray vision or his ability to fly, what percentage of people would choose? Oh, my gosh. I mean. I'm going to write down the percentage that it should be. I've got another.

I'm going to show the camera. Obviously, you're going to say 100%. Yes, it should be 100%. I wrote down my real answer. Imagine choosing X-ray vision over flight. TSA agents maybe want to? All right. I've got my.

Even they would like to fly, Andy. They would like to fly far far away from their job. Just send people my way. I don't need a machine. All right. I got you for my 40K here. Why should we hire you? I don't need the machine.

Aren't you qualified for something better than TSA? It's the hospital worker. Just send him into my room. That's a three centimeter tumor. Okay. Nope. Here's what I'm going to do. Oh, yes.

You better get a right. My number that I wrote down was 84%. Was 84% that's not my answer. You better get it right. Because I'm trying to play this game, I've got to be within 5% on either side. You better. So your original plan was not to do that. No, I think that the correct on the dot answer is 84, but when I look at a range of 10,

I think it's at least 75 to 85. Like, that's the range that I think it's in. It's 75 to 85. Okay. I think that is more, Andy's looking around like this is crazy. You're not me. Alice, too. I was just trying to follow.

you. I think I'm there. I would like the room to shut up and let him answer the question. If I were to say 84%, then what my range would be would be 79 to 89. And I feel like that range doesn't give me a lot of room. So I'm going to go. But then Mike just showed me higher, which makes me want to go even higher to make him not get it. Do it. You're going higher no matter what? Do it. 84%. I mean, let me just state this. That's a good number. Let me just state this for the record. When I pick my number, I'm always trying to pick the closest to the middle of my range. Always.

90%. I'm going to go higher. And what was your final answer? 84. It is lower. Yes! It is 83%. Yes!

Did we tie? Crap, Mike. No, I won. No, we tied. You guys tied. No, that means it's a tiebreaker question. a tie-bring? No, that's a joke. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Or Ty, no, wait, do we decide Ty goes to the guy, keeps the goose? Yeah, I agree with that. No, no, no, no, here's the problem. What was the answer again? 83%. So you're telling me, 27% of people. 27% of people are like,

I'd rather see two things than fly. Here's the coolest part. Absolutely. Wait, what percentage of people are pilots? Absolutely not. Here's the coolest part about what just happened. No one is choosing that. What just happened was.

That's bull crap. When I was talking about what I was going to do and I was going to end up taking 80, you showed the up arrow. Yeah. And that said to me, well, I need you to also be wrong while I am right. Yes. If I had gone with 80, I would have been in the range, but you would have been right because, man, I'm so smart. Do we want a tie break? I don't care because this is not real.

Closest to the answer wins. This is not real. That's a great idea. Here we go, Mike. We got a tie brain. That's fine. Let's go. Whatever gets closer.

This is not real. Sub 50% have frozen 10 times. Mike, you have a goose on your head. It's clear you don't understand the game like we do. This is a, this is nonsense. You're an amateur. What percentage of people have put together mixtapes or playlists for people of romantic interests? For their romantic interests.

By the way, both of you have to lock in before the answers. Of course. Closest one of this. This is just percentile, right? Yep. Just give your percentage. Yeah. Well, if there's no higher or lower, it's just our numbers.

Whoever's closer. This is where you better not pick the exact same number. My number is locked. My number is locked. I went 30. We're way off. We're way off. Oh, yeah.

We're going to be right in the middle. I think Jason is going to be wearing that thing. Correct answer. 61. Oh, yeah. Mike is a goose. You loser. Who are you talking to?

He's talking to me because I was right. I mean, maybe I'm a weirdo, but I've done it. Crap, I've done it too. Yeah, so there you go, majority here. That's what I mean. Who are you talking to? Us. Yeah.

Just all the people? I answered not in line with my own truth. Why are you confused if this room reflects the correct answer of the poll? Yeah, the room just did. Because of the frozen question. He's a back-to-back goose. Because of the frozen question. If you're telling me, the people who answer the answer to answer the

are in the 60s for a mixtape. Things that have not been done for the last 20 years. No, it said, or playlist. You missed that. Playlist. No, but that's what's happening now. You can't say it hasn't been done in 20 years. My children make playlists for their significant others.

You could throw it away, but you get it back next time. Yeah, Mike is super goose. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. We better take a break. There it is.

That's nonsense. That was the ultimate. comeback too. It was. That was very good. That was good. That's very good. The spitballers draft. We are drafting the best midnight snacks, which in perfect form, we had already decided this one. And then I walked out to my kitchen last night, or actually this morning, of course, and I saw a box that was empty. I won't say what was on it. An empty box sitting on the counter. Okay.

An air fryer that had been out. And one of my children had had a very midnight snackish midnight snack. So we'll see what goes first for Mike. But there are great choices here. And I'll be honest. I haven't had a midnight snack in a long time. Crazy. I haven't had one in.

How about a 10 p.m. snack? Yeah, that's your midnight. When's the last time you had a 10 p.m. snack? Because that is your midnight. Yeah, I've had some 10 p.m. Yeah. Okay. There you go.

So I'm up first. Out of respect for 10 p.m. You're up first, Mike, first pick. Well, out of respect for you, Andy, ice cream. Ice cream will be the number one answer because it's delicious. And it's right there ready to go for you. Ready to go is important. Ready to go is very important.

And ice cream is good to go. I've been a good. I don't know if you guys know this. I'm a big fan. I've heard and I support that. I have heard. I have watched you eat ice cream within the last hour. Within 30 minutes of this recording. Yeah. Yeah, we were

and not just lunch. We were at lunch. All the rest is yours. No, we were at lunch. Oh, did you really eat the rest of mine? I didn't even notice. You two split something and left so much. Brother, we were at lunch and Andy had ordered an ice cream. And then the guy comes back, he's like, he's just confirming everything. He's like, you want this? And he's like, yeah, yeah. He's like, I think Andy was like, can you throw a little chocolate syrup on me? And the guy was like, yeah, no guy. And he's walking away.

He's like, you want sprinkles? And I was like, Andy's like, yes, I do. And then after the guy left, he goes, I wanted him, but I didn't want to ask for him. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. That's great. You want sprinkles? All right.

Yeah. Ice cream's a great pick. That would not be what I would go to. I'm not sprinkling at midnight. I'll tell you that much. No, no, no, because this is, you want it quick. you want an easy. I'm not even getting a bowl. Midnight snack, and that's why I am specifically taking cold pizza.

I'm going straight out the fridge. Cold pizza is on my list. Is that eliminate all pizza? Of course. Yes. Oh, man. You take a pizza, but I'm in a microwave. No, there's like, there's stuff that you might order. Interesting. I'm going to take cold pizza out of the fridge. Yeah. That's a great bit. This is midnight. No, I know, but midnight, sometimes you run into midnight. You're ordering stuff at midnight? Taco Bell's my answer. That's fine.

That's a great answer. If you're getting there towards midnight and you're just like, I want to do some damage to my body. I have a particular answer that I think is better than this. That's fine. That's tough. There's other ones. Taco Bell will be my first answer.

The second one, I didn't get ice cream, but it's the next best thing for the middle of the night. It's ready. And part of it is there's something with the middle of the night where like you can get away with however much. you want of something. Yeah. So I'm going cereal. Yeah, that's great. That's a great pick. I'm going ready to go. Super high up on my list. Ready to go. Out the door. I'm going to out of

respect for myself. I will play no games, which I know I could get this pick forth, but I will play no games. You don't want to mess around. No, it's just out of respect for myself and this and out of respect for this product. I love it. It's SpaghettiOs and meatballs. SpaghettiOs of meatballs. That is my shameful midnight snack. Do you heat it out? I will heat it up. A microwave is okay. You won't believe it. It is totally not on my list. Me neither. Dude. Dude, if it's midnight, I need a snack. You're, you are one can't open and 60 seconds away from delicious. If you told me when you were six years old, your parents got you in a SpaghettiOs commercial and you had to proclaim its greatness for the rest of your life. I believe you. I fell off. I mean, I fell off too. Some would say I grew up. when genuinely No joke If we ever purchase

Spaghettios, which from time to time Probably once or twice a year It happens. Somebody has to make that choice in your home Once or twice a year it happens Maybe it's my birthday week Maybe it's something going on. I don't know once or twice a year it happened And a couple of cans of SpaghettiOs show up

Sometimes here, sometimes it's at our cabin I don't know why, it's just a habit if I walk into a pantry and see a can, it stares me down. Do you get it? You get real. I get the tinkles, man. I am like, there's spikidios and meatballs.

I can't. It's, it is my most guilty pleasure on the face of the planet. Does it happen for the regular or is it just the spaghetti of meatballs? What percentage of the meatballs in there? Throw that in the garbage. If you had to break down like, like our last segment,

if you had to say what percentage of it is nostalgia and what percentage of it is actual taste. Where are you at right now with that can? I think it's... Is it 50-50? I think it's 8% nostalgia and 92% taste, baby. It's still just as good today as it was back then. You know how delicious those nitrates are...

It's so soggy. Okay, so you went SpaghettiOs and meatballs. Mike, you're on the clock, two picks. I have a very particular combo. that I when I say it has saved my life many times at midnight I'm not joking pepto-bizballed everyone no is that your midnight now we're talking brother no no no this is it's midnight I may be out of sorts I'm ready to eat beef jerky potato chips bro nice beef jerky potato chips that's the combo

Oh, that's brother. Oh, dude. You don't even know about midnight beef turkey potato chips. Really? Oh, dude. Just plain potato chips or just whatever you got? Are you going back and forth? Like, wing, chip, wing chip.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never done that combo my life. Oh, dude. Are I missing out? Number one. Delicious. Number two, it saves you from a lot of problems in the morning. How is that possible?

I don't know what magic is in there. So that's your like, that is your, like, petto? Yes. Because because because you're getting the carbs. And you're getting the protein. That's a crazy combo. Your body's getting what it needs. Your body craves.

Your body never needs potato chips. No, you need sometimes you need sodium. Okay. Is that your hydration? Sometimes you're going to hydrate at midnight for no reason at all. That's why I have Gatorade potato chips. All right. So you took jerky and potato chips.

Yeah, those are good. I mean, they definitely are midnight snack. I'm going to take a combo as well, but it's one item. You took both of yours as two. separate items that you might eat together. I'm going to eat mine together, but they go together. I'll take your cookies of milk. Cucies and milk.

I mean, you know. That was my layup last day. That's a good. That's a good combo. I'm still upset. The cold glass of milk dunked the cookie in there. Yeah, we know what it's about, man. It's perfect.

It's so good. You've heard of this? We know what it's about. You've heard of cookies of milk. Gosh, dang it. All right, I got to close this out. It's a, it's a piggybacker. back on Jason's, but it's more broad.

I'm going to say leftovers. Okay, sure. Straight from the fridge. It might be leftover Chinese food from the night before. It could be whatever. I'm going to go leftovers. And then? Yeah, leftovers.

That's pretty good one. And then I think this one is a perfect fourth pick. It's also, you know, midnight's a time to get a little crazy. You just do stuff that just doesn't make sense sometimes. Peanut butter straight from the jar. Okay. I've been there. I've been there. You just want a little something.

That's a, it's a good answer. Also, it's, it's really eye-opening. It should you look at the nutrition facts? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not for midnight. Midnight you can't read. Yeah, you can't actually read those. You can't read nutrition labels at midnight. There are no labels, Mike.

I don't know if you know. For those at home. Should you read a label of nutrition facts on you peanut butter? Is it about the sugar butter? And then you put one spoon in, you're like, oh, I'm going to have this little dab of snack and you're like that's a serving. It's not just a serving. It's usually

it might be a serving and a half. It's so many ingredients in that one little spoonful that you can't pronounce. I don't even care about that. I only look at the calories. I don't I don't do the words I can't. It will fill you up. A spoonful.

How many? This one. To fill you up? I mean, I'm just saying like I've always gone back for a second spoonful. I've always gone back for a second spoonful. I've Always. If I have a spoonful of peanut butter. You get a new spoon? No. I can't do one spoon. I can do one. I'm saying, do you use a new spoon. Oh, no, no, no, no at midnight. Okay. No, no man. No one's around. All spit in that. No one's around. Absolutely. If I got to lick it out of the jar, I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, what? No spoon. No problem.

Fingers. Absolutely. Um, look, I'm happy you took leftovers because it's a broad general, uh, category. So you get, now you get to pick one of those. Yes. And I, and it's very important to me. This is very important to me. This is very Because I could not This is the number one snack That I actually go for at midnight Genuinely if I'm up And I'm getting a guilty pleasure snack Because we don't have SpaghettiOs

And meatballs in our house a lot If it's there If you say filet mignon I'm walking off That's not a This is But I couldn't decide which one to go with But I don't need to because I can take

The whole genre And it's so near and dear to my heart It's little Debbie's Just all little Debbie snacks If I can go in my pantry. Wait, we're giving you the entire catalog. He got all leftovers. He got leftovers.

That's a good point. I get little debuts. I get little debbies. I'm taking my zebra cakes. I'm taking every, I mean, all these little packets, sugary treats.

You're drafting little debbies? Yes. He's eating Spaghettios and Little Debbie's at night. Oh, man, this is the life. I'm drafting carbohydrates. Yes. Oh, it's so good, man. That is the one thing where if it's late and I'm not in my smart right mind and I walk in and I see a box of anything, Little Debbie, I shut that door behind myself in the pantry.

Primal Jason. And I take out a little Debbie and I eat it and then I throw it. We got a garbage can in the pantry. I throw the garbage can and I leave. Primal Jason goes, roar. Never happen. Maybe I'll grab one and put it in my pocket and leave for later for 1 a.m. You have a pocket, little Debbie?

No pocket Debbie. Midnight. Have you ever eaten any of these midnight snacks in your bed? Yeah, of course. Yeah, what? Come on. That was a real easy answer. What?

What? Where else? I mean, you eat them in the pantry? The bathroom or bed? Those are the only three places you eat midnight snacks. The last place you eat at midnight is the table. You can eat in the kitchen. No one's there.

Yeah, but you can also go in the bathroom. Ice cream, beef, jerky potato chips. One final pick, Mike. Close us out. So I understand that it's. close to one of Andy's picks, but it's just, it's very specific. Jack in the box. Mm-hmm.

Tacos, yeah, for sure. No, I know. The midnight tacos. You're not going there for anything else. Because they're not really tacos. Those are little grease bubbles. What's inside of there? Nobody knows.

Science. Yeah, sludge. We have no idea what exists in a check-in-the-box taco. It's got meat paste. Cheese. and oil. It's got fake cheese. Bake cheese, oil, and meat paste. Jack, if you are not on the

West Coast, I apologize that you have not been able to experience the greatness that is a midnight Jack in the Box Taco, but good Lord, nothing can hit the spot. Like this is, the other stuff is I'm home. The other

stuff is I'm on the way home and I'm saying this is my final. Responsibly, Uber driver, take me through the Jack of the when I'm responsible. Yes. Take me through the jack in the box and I'll buy you to. Have you done that for an Uber driver?

Pro move. Pro move ladies and gentlemen. You buy something for them? If you say, hey, you mind if we go through that jack in the box and they're like, what? And you're like, I'll buy you tacos. That's genius. Brother. You think you're not getting Jack of the Box tacos? Oh.

If you offer them free tacos. I'm doing that next time. I will say this. Because they're showing up. First of all. And you know how much they cost? 99 cents for two of them, baby. Of course I know how much they cost.

They are... Two for a dollar. How does the price date is that over 20 years? How was anything in this world two for a dollar? They're so good. They're so unbelievably good. We have near where we live, we had a jack in the box shut down. Oh, it was a travesty.

It has saved years off my life. It's one of the... It is one of the hardest things to drive past for me. me and it's not because of any reason other than the tacos. Oh, yeah. Because it's just like a quick in and a, just two tacos. Yeah. You know how quick I can dispose of that?

There's no proof. There's no proof. No one has any idea. Oh, Jagging the box tacos. Man, I want some. A dollar. I paid a dollar away. I might know what your car smells like now.

Yeah. Yeah. Jagging the box tacos. All right. We wrapped it up. Any honorable mentions you guys want to go out there. I had hot pockets. Uh-huh.

You got all the hot, like, the bagel bites. Chicken nuggets. Oh, the box that my son, it was pizza bites, by the way. Oh, that's, yeah. That's pizza bites is the same thing. Those old tortinos pizzas. Oh, yeah.

Old school. Oh, yeah. Leftover wings. I love cold leftover wings. You like cold food. I do like cold food. Like spaghetti. You probably eat those cold.

I would, but I don't. Okay. But I would. What did we learn today? Do you guys learn anything today? I learned. Jeremy loves the dark. I learned that I dominated Mike and Gus, guess, guess, goose.

And that he's the goose the next time. I learned that we are talking to literally only people who are the age of 46 years old. It's funny because didn't I get a bunch of stuff like right on the money out? You did very well today. What's that say for me? I'm in tune with my people. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you, goodbye.

Undid pro-tend. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out, at Mahlerspod.com.