Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Hole in None & Things That Are Loud - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

It’s time for another hilarious episode of the Spitballers Podcast! The laughs flow with an all new Would You Rather. Decisions of Extreme Importance makes its return and we wrap things up with a Things That Are Loud Draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons Give Life Advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Blow down, big, big, bo, woo, woo, woo. You're scared, Jason. Oh, the first. I hope you're happy.

The first note, the hands over the microphone made it much louder. Yeah, the physics. Yeah. Go figure. Welcome to the spitballers. We are here again. 347th time we've been at this desk talking about it. Oh, wow.

350 coming up? Important things. And then after 350 comes 365. Okay. Oh, that would be... You know what? No, no. No, no. I'll go 366. We don't want to... Just for the leap year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for the leapier weirdos. A show a day. Yeah. Incredible. Keeps the doctor away.

It's, um, we've heard a lot of feedback that people like this show. Doesn't make any sense. Yeah, we, we want to, we always are like, let's stop doing this. They're like, oh, we like it. You can't. So here we are. Would you rather on today's show? Uh, we're drafting things that are normal. Noisy. Josh is the number one pick, obviously, so we're going to disqualify him from he's the, he's the noisiest. He is the noisiest. I mean, he is the 101. I was planning on bringing him up on the, okay, what did we not draft? Is like Papa Josh. Yeah, is on the list. Any thoughts, Papa Josh. Are you already? You guys aren't wrong. He knows his volume. The number of times I've been told to be quiet at work is. I mean, is how many days have you been at work? Yeah. Because it's two times that. More than 347. Tell you that. Him and. Austin Powers have trouble controlling the volume of their voice. Yeah. No, you know everything Josh is thinking.

You could hear his inner monologue out loud. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is a delight. We're also doing... I need to use the bathroom. We're like, whoa, Josh, that's a... That's just an inside. Just go.

Just go to the bathroom. I just used the bathroom. I forgot to wash my hands. I'm using the bathroom right now. We are also jumping into the bathroom. Decisions of extreme importance on today's show, Mike. So I hope you got your thinking cap on. We're going to make sure we get things extremely right.

What is that? Yeah, exactly. What is that? Would you rather? Dan from the website, cell phone providers are reverting back to their old tactics. Would you rather pay five cents per text that you or anyone in your family's sins? Oh, man. Or $5 per minute of phone calls that you are any.

anyone in your family makes? Five cents per text. Or is that $5 a minute? Or $5 a minute? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Anybody in my family? Because if this was me, that would be an easy $5 a phone call.

Do your, uh, do, uh, wait, do the, do the youths, do the kids and your family do phone calls? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. No, if it was me and my children, I would easily do phone calls. but my wife has these late night conversations usually with her mother sometimes their sister oh for hours on the telephone yeah they just chat

for hours and that will cost you some about what who knows Mike I'm asleep I go to bed about what I presume about nothing the life and times I mean like I get crap as the world turns I get crap all the time from my wife and she's like what you didn't tell

your parents about this? And I'm like, that's what they're doing. They're telling people about stuff. I'm like, no, of course I did. Because I'm not going to bother them. What? With information about your life? Yeah. No, I think they might want to know a few things. I'm a bullet points type of guy. That's, that's not the bullet points. That's an empty sheet of paper. No, no. But like at the end of the year, I'll call them Jan 1. This year I had another birthday. See you. And I'll be like, here's the five bullet points from the year. Do you prioritize them then? They get the big stuff? Yeah. Back in March, one of my sons, broke their leg, which in

September I had surgery. It's nice, because by then I don't remember. I had a baby. So there's June. Yeah. Let you know. Hey, hey, come to the hospital on Thursday. Send gifts. That's, um, you know,

some people like having the long phone conversations. I did the long distance relationship thing. Sure. 20 years ago. Well, I mean, that became quite annoying. Yeah. I remember when I was in my young 20, season. I was courting my wife.

Long phone calls? Yeah, we had tons of long phone calls. See, the problem is the long distance was... Got her good. Tretcha. Yeah. She doesn't get those anymore. The funny part was that once you have

a long distance relationship, the phone calls a requirement to say you still care. But sometimes you don't have anything to talk about, but you're like, I have to fill an hour to say... You just breathe into the phone? there's just no way that I mean texts are how things are communicated now

my kids if they could opt into no phone calls at all I think they'd be fine with it I mean it's the math equation you need so 10 text is 50 cents right so 100 is 5 bucks yeah so it's one hour versus 100 text

100 texts yeah I mean there's just no it's five minutes yeah no five minutes versus 100 text how many genuinely so I've been on the phone like we we you know and since we've been together I've been on the phone 10 minutes you were on the phone a lot today yes today was

my dude's going through it so that's a thousand texts I would have to send does it count if I send them on my computer yes it does is it is it through your your Apple ID is it going to someone's phone yeah it's a text message yeah I think we all we're all gonna opt into those phone call costs

right yeah because at the the good news is no no no listen we're going to opt into paying for the phone calls even though it is exorbitantly more because you know what it will force us to do short phone calls yeah i can't be on this unlimited texts that's the way we're going text me don't call me i mean andy can you handle this that's a good because here's the thing i won't answer calls from the strangers that's what i'm saying it incoming calls are free though right no no no no no five dollars it's every time it's five bucks per minute and they round up they round up for sure you Incoming calls used to be free, though, right? No, no, they never were.

No. That's not how it worked? No. No. If they call, like, long distance calls, bad, if we're really aging ourself. Yeah. And so it called you long distance? It still costs you.

No, that one didn't. They would have to call you collect. That's the one I was thinking about. Yeah, you were talking about way back in the day landline. Yeah, I won't be able to answer telemarketer calls. No, but you, we've made this. I don't know if we've talked about this on the show or not. Also, telemarketers will not be able to exist.

No, that's true. If you make it cost something to call. oh man can we do that and I'll be like I'll be right back Andy cannot have a phone call coming

random number does not know the number this isn't like oh I don't have it saved to my phone but I know who this is any random number could be important you answer it every time

100 out of 100 times spam likely right right and then it's like you answer something I might answer some of the worst like right now I'm dealing with

a BS some of it Ladies and gentlemen, protect your information. Oh, yeah, your school. Because I received a letter from the Arizona government about a month ago that apparently I attended community college in a place over the fall when I was doing all. Pretty far away from home. That was a point of commute.

Yes, in a city an hour away from mine that I attended the college in the fall. and which I did not and now I've been trying to clean that up and using a lot of that $5 a minute somehow somehow the system for someone to just pretend that they are you and go sign up for college

and then as opposed to proving you didn't go to college very very very different there is you got to hear this I haven't told you guys all by this so I got a laundry list of things I had to do, including... To clear your name.

Yeah, to clear... To prove that I am me... That you didn't go to college. That I did not go to your college, but to prove that I am me, and I am the one who did not go to your... I had to get my high school transcripts. Oh, no. To prove it was you.

That was just... How were they? You had to peruse them and be like, how do I do? Honestly, the grades... So, part of my high school career was my claim to... Ditching class. My claim... Well, it wasn't ditching class.

I had a really hard time in high school. I was dealing with a lot of stuff. But I missed so many days. And my claim to fame, I always claimed, I'm like, I have for my days missed to GPA, it was the best. Record.

I'm at like a 3.5. And I've got, I went back and I was like looking, I'm like, dude, I miss like 30 days in a lot of classes. And I'm still rocking a 3.5 because I'm dominant. GPA per day. But proving you are you

after the fact. Have you cleaned it on? I'm still working on it. I didn't need to get your money back. I had to get my high school transcript. I had to print off a page and just go get it notarized and take a photo of it. I mean, you should tell them,

either give me my money or a degree. All right. Darius from Patreon, would you rather completely dominate your opponents in a game of pickleball 11 to 1 or be down 0.10 in stage of glorious comeback to win 1715? This is...

But it's 11 to 1. It's not 11 to 0. It's a super narrow question. I think let's broaden this out so it's more relevant. Do you want to dominate somebody or do you want to have a glorious comeback? Because I can tell you when I grew up, I played a lot of sports. Basketball is my number one sport. I have a brother that's two years younger than me. He could not compete with me.

It was not fun for me to go out and beat him by 30, 40 points. I always tried to keep it close so I could hit a game winning shot. Oh, you let him score. What if you didn't know, did he know that? This is not only your brother This is your younger brother Does he know that right now Probably not

So he's finding If he's listening to this He's finding out Yes but he's so non-competitive He won't care Yeah So now let's make it Now let's make it real

You're out at a court At a park Everyone's doing one-on-one pickup games You don't know any of these people And everyone's trying their best And you Are you gonna like

Would I rather dominate that? Each person One after the other after you're dominating Depends if they're talking to me No they're not not talking they're just regular they're just regular but they're your height your age yeah domination yeah of course it's dominated right this is an interesting you're right question because i think i have two different answers okay against you guys i want the comeback i want you to think

that you that i want 11 to one you want to squash our egos so so to be clear in pickle ball 11 zero would be a total shot out a pickle as they call yeah yeah so if you're up 10 zero Oh, we'll be talking to. I mean, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I would rather have the comeback against you guys. But if I'm in the park against people I don't know, I want to just dominate. Yeah.

But I think the question of this is like in a vacuum, just in general. And I think unless there is someone that you respect and love, you just want to, you just want to dominate them. Sort of. Can I dig into this for a second with you? Yeah, yeah. Because I, I, it's important psychology. Part of it is, are they good? I want to dominate somebody that is perceived to be good by someone else.

If they are, this is the thing with the brother. He's two years younger, I should beat him. Therefore, beating him by a bunch doesn't matter to me. I'd rather have the fun, excitement, close game. If I go to a court and I just dominate, it's going to be instantly aware that I'm much better than these people. I want people to think the other opponent is better, and then I beat that person. I want them to think, wow, this guy's so much better than them. That's just what you.

I know you'd be fine with that. Yeah. You dominate under all circumstances. All circumstances. No, that's 100% your entire life. Yeah. I mean, Jason literally was older than me and bigger than me. Yep.

And we played basketball in high school. Probably a thousand one-on-one games. And he beat me in every game. One thousand and no. He never once cared that he was bigger, stronger, better. I would block the tarnation out of you. He just fed his ego with every block, which were, like, uncountable, felt great. Every single one.

That's what I mean. This just felt great. There's something... The 50th, the 500, the second, they all felt the same, which was... BROC! It was awesome. You could be like, maybe it's like, oh. Maybe.

Maybe. A little sociopathic... Yeah, I got a little sociopath in there somewhere. Tomato tomato. Yeah. Yeah. That's an interesting one. Somebody writes in named Notre Dame on Patreon.

Notre Game. Oh, Notre Game. No truck game. Would you rather get a free screen? scratcher's ticket every morning with a game. Okay, question for you guys. Oh, boy. So, the college, Notre Dame, yeah, Notre Dame. The

place that I have to assume it is sharing a namesake with Notre Dame. Yes. Sister schools or what? It's like color. Well, it, no, it's a big... But color, when you have a U in it, it's still color. Yeah, it's not colore. People don't say colore. true, but there are words like

that. Like what? Yeah, give me five, give me five examples. Give me ten examples. Top of the don't go. Give me one. Aren't there words from like Europe that we say differently than them that are the same words? There's words you can say like theater. That's that. There you go. That's one. But it's just, that's how

it is. I just that. We're Notre Dame people. It's just it's, but it's not the South. It's the North. Let's digress. These are questions. that have to be asked that no one's asking? We just asked it. Would you rather get a free scratcher's ticket every morning with a guaranteed

win of $5,000 but a chance up to $10,000, normal odds? Or once per week be given a single half-court basketball shot to win $1,000? Okay, the normal odds on the scratcher the range is $5 to $10,000? Is that what it was?

Yes. But I mean, your odds of scratchers ticket. You get a guaranteed win of five bucks. You get an egg McMuffin. How many? Oh, guaranteed win $35 a week versus a half-court shot for $1,000. I'm taking the half-court shot every time. Okay. How often do you, Andy, make a half-court shot? How many shots on average does it take you to make one?

I think that if you, well, one, you're going to get better if you take that option. You're going to get better every time. I would say that I'm going to get to the point where I'm making at least one and three. Oh, my gosh, you're so wrong. It's absurd. What are you? I've won. I've won multiple. half-court content. One in three. I was going to say one and 20. I would get one-and-james like taking easy over here.

Not in the jump, not from the jump, but I'm going to take these every week for the rest of my life. I'm going to start making one and three. Yes. No. Yes, I am. No. No. These are not hard. Okay. Half-court shots is not that bad. You know what? Here's here. I will give you this. Off contest. Off contest. If you're like, I can make one out of every 10 shots. Oh, yeah, I could easily do that. Off contest. That's fine. Yeah. But, Then when the contest, the lights are going, you get literally, that's not how it works ever. I ever. Have you ever watched an NBA, just an NBA player warm up?

Yeah. And the, the 50th man on the bench. I'm just walking out to the court and fulfilling my duties. But you know that, but you know you won't have one shot. There's pressure on the shot. I thrive on pressure. If you were, if I were to give you two weeks to prepare and I said you've got to shoot 33% from an NBA three-point line, you would not hit that.

Yes, I would. Yes, I would. Oh, man. Oh. With no defense? No defense. I like what we're doing. One out of three.

33 is not that bad with no defense. For an NBA player, I agree with you. Okay. I'm not saying I'm a special player. I'm just saying half-court charts are not that bad. I'm taking that one because the math adds up. You're not winning. The math adds up, and you should take that one.

Even if it's one in 10, even if it's one in 10, you're making $350 for the amount of time it takes you to make a thousand dollars no no but there's a chance to win up to ten thousand dollars well and not everyone's gonna be five how many times if you want a scratchers to ten thousand dollars you're known anybody they have oh you that will never have hold on currently yeah none but but you don't wait your mic you don't know but the thing is is it on to his point give me one in ten i'm still taking it give me one in twenty i'm still taking it i am one in twenty i'm still better yeah i think the math is still better but it's not just five or ten thousand it's it's a sliding scale

like five is the minimum you're going to make every single day here and there 20 30 40 50 yeah considering everybody in the history of all of earth with every scratchers and lottery ticket it's stupid then i do agree with that i think if you could get to one and seven i also think i can get a whole in one on a part three yeah we've we've that's a conversation we've had at lunch you guys can't prove me wrong how many how many you can't prove yourself right huh how many swings to get a hole in one I don't remember what the conversation was. It was just if I had a day to do it. Just one day.

Yeah. A par three, I guarantee I get a whole one. Oh, man. Okay. If we can rent a golf course out and do this. Yeah, that's not hard. I would take a $10,000. He thinks she has infinite stamina.

Bro, I will. In one day, you could have, lock the club in and just swing. Oh, man. Over 12 hours. Over par three. I know. I said we need to get an Airbnb. and let me do this. We've talked about this. We have identified. What are you going to do with

the other 12 hours that we have the Airbnb is my question. We're going to party. Yes, I'm going to have a hole in one. I'm going to have this thing locked down early within the first four hours. Within the first four hours. Here's the thing, Andy. If you do it, it's going to be awesome. It's going to be super cool. We will. We will party with you. We're not going to do it. We have to do this. We have to do this. You will not sink a hole in one on a part three in one day. Not not saying if you had a year you're not you're not even you're not even working in the the psychology of like you've gone an entire hour swinging nonstop no biggie I've got it and I love the confidence then when the I'm going to love the dance when I do it I can hang from a bar for 20 minutes

hey I hung for a bar for a long time oh no way near what you thought no I think that one was very clearly I knew that the the physics wasn't going to work Oh, man. We've got to do this. We've normally Jason's all over here. Yeah, I know. This is great. I didn't realize how entertaining I was because this is super fun.

And I'm telling you, I will put so much money on this. On the par three or on the half court shot? The par three. Yeah, you know I'll hit the half court shot. Not one and three. If I take them for a year, I'll hit one and three. But on one of the days? No, just eventually.

Regardless, everyone has one day. We cannot possibly establish a year's worth of practice at the half court. We can rent an Airbnb on a golf course and go to a par three. Just rent it for a couple hours. I'll get it knocked out. Oh, man. Oh, man. We have to do this.

We got to find some way for me to make so much money off of Andy. I know you'll make the bets needed for me to make money off of that. Let's take a break and we'll get into decisions. of extreme importance. You will need to, I mean, we need the proper equipment. Like, I need to be able to keep shooting all day long. Yeah. Like I need a runner bringing it back.

Yeah, I need infinite golf balls. Yeah, we'll have, of course, but I need to be able to, you know. You need to be able to swing every, however often you want to. What's the longest you've been at, like, at a driving rate? driving range. I'm not claiming I'm not going to get tired. I'm just going to tell you I'm going to hit a hole in one. You better do it in the first hour then. No, I'll be fine. I can take a little lemonade break.

Okay. Oh, man. I really want to do this so bad. We can do it. Mike says he's very happy to drink beers and watch this. Oh, my gosh, it will be the best day of my life. Now, where would you choose to sit? Would you choose to sit with Andy? Like, you've got a little lawn chair. With Andy, so you can enjoy it and talk crap.

This is a better conversation. Or sit over with your little cooler with some beers over by the stick, the stick, just laughing where the ball is. I could hit you near the green. He could easily get it. You know, I think for the first two hours, I'm going to be by the pin. I think that's the right. I want to be over there as he's wearing himself out.

And for the next 18. And then I'll move back to where he is. And I'll be like, look a little slow. Swing a little softer. We better have the camera on. Look at a little tired. We better have that camera on. Yes.

It will be your greatest accomplishment ever. And if you did it, we'll look. Oh, I would come on this show and I would give all credit. The sooner I do it, the more I get to just hang out at the Airbnb. Decisions of extreme importance. All right. You guys ready for this? Yes.

These are very important decisions. Watching a movie at home is better than in a. a theater. Do you agree? Watching a movie at home is better than in a theater? Oh, there's variables. There's variables. Do you agree? Three, two.

Hold, wait, wait, wait. Don't let me answer yet. Watching a movie don't let me answer yet. I didn't listen to the question. I don't know what the question. We're talking about the golf. We were talking about the golf in the Slack channel and we're trying to block this down. Oh, it's a minimum three nights? Well, find a different course then. Yeah, do better. Well, this isn't a course. This is an

Airbnb that has a par three yeah wait there's an Airbnb that just has one hole yes yes it's pretty amazing renting a golf course going to be more expensive it's going to cost more than the I don't want to rent a golf hole can't we just contact a golf course say hey

you need everyone else coming there 17 they all get to play 17 go around yeah you play 17 twice and finish the round we got 18 okay so what was the actual question because I genuinely watching the movie at home is better than in a theater? Yes or no?

Three, two, one. No. No. This is, this is like a variable. There's variables, but when weighing them all, the overwhelming answer is no. The overwhelming answer. Okay, let's discuss for a moment. If the movie is something I'm truly excited about, then the answer is no.

I'd rather be in a theater. But I think that the majority of movies you watch, you don't watch with that level of anticipation, in which case I like the convenience of pausing and having my own snacks and treats and falling asleep and all that. Yeah, I knew you were going to get to fall in a seat. I can do that in the theater, too. My variable, first off, the top of the head was the children. Like, do I have to get them ready and get them to a theater in time for the movie show?

Because that is... Yes, they call it. That's the movie show. Wait, what do you call it? The movie. I'm just saying the movie. That part I hate. That part I hate.

But what's funny is... I mean, if you've listened to the show for any amount of time or any of our footballers and, like, you've gleamed some information about me, I don't like people. Correct. Yeah, you're up. You're anti. I, like crowds, humans, et cetera. And yet, I fully understand that being in a movie theater for a big release with a huge group of people makes. the movie better.

I fully recognize this. Because it is an event and we are all experiencing it. It's like going to a football game. At the exact same time. And when you have, when the hive is all excited about one thing at the exact same time,

it makes the experience better. The experience is genuinely better. Like, the truth is, I have never, or I don't remember the last time. I sat at home and watched a movie, of which I've done a hundred thousand times that's normal occurrence and not

taking out my phone while the movie's going on and oh really? Oh yeah I'll watch a movie and I'll take up my phone I'll check some messages you know whatever you're saying it forces a dedication to the movie yes when you're in a movie theater I'm not if I take out my phone it's like this big deal in my own mind where I'm turning the screen down I gotta check a message and I'm like oh my gosh

yeah but like the focus as an ADHD ADHD person the movie theater is like I am here for one thing and it has my attention based on lights and sound when i'm at home it just is like okay it's not nearly the same it depends on the movie and like i mean if if you can it feels like a lifetime ago but it's like covid when we got a covid movie it was like this gift you mean when it came out on streaming yeah like like all the that that was a very the movie the unique time yeah yeah but i'm saying that the movies that had the day you couldn't go to the theater So they were like, oh, crap, here's a home release.

And when those came out, it was this gift. And my memory is Dune One was that? No. Is that not true? Dune One was in the theater? Correct. I watched Dune One the first time at home. That was dumb of you.

I'm not. Didn't need to. Yeah, dumb one. Yes, for sure. Everyone went to the movies. Everyone went to the movies for Dune One. Maybe. I'm trying to remember.

I mean, Mike could be right, because we don't have a good memory. We don't, but Dune one was, okay, so Dune one was, okay, so Dune one. was 2021. I think it was like during the Delta. I think they delayed it. I think Dune 1 was going to come out during COVID and they delayed it. And then it like came out on HBO at the exact same time or something happened. I watched Dune 1 at home. Well, that was yeah. And it was not. But it was like that's, I remember. I remember it of like this was an event at my home. Because

of COVID. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shoes should be taken off when entering the home. Yes or no. Three, two, one. Yes. Yes. Jason said no. It's just, it's not, it's not that big a deal, guys. Your, your feet are dirty, the ground is dirty, that's fine. You don't have to bring your shoes up. Now, if you've got white carpet, okay, that's just called don't wear shoes on white carpet. You don't like the vibe of taking them off when you go inside? No, the shoes are more covered.

Like, let's say, let me give you an example. You got stinky feet? My house, I do not. My houses, the last two, have been pretty much all either tile or wood. so I just don't have any carpet other than like a rug here or there and it's way harder on my feet to be barefoot

on that tile than to wear shoes it's more comfortable more practical and taller sure um do you wear your shoes into like public bathrooms and stuff of course I do this is what my wife brings up she talks about she used to talk about the you know gas station floors

and public bathroom bathrooms Bathrooms Bathrooms Where you go to the bathroom Yeah The toilet Yeah There's a father figure there

Um The You're going to say that The bottoms of your shoes Are very dirty And so you bring those in your house I just think it is I mean if I had the choice to go into a house

That had people walking around with shoes or not I think I'd like going in the house that doesn't Let me flip that exact question back on you Okay. Mike, would you walk in a public gas station bathroom with bare feet? No. No, of course not. No, no, no.

So you're telling me the dirty floor you shouldn't have your bare feet on. And so you are pretending that your floor is so clean at home that, like, you could just always wear your shoes. And everyone could always wear their shoes. You could. And then it doesn't matter. Sure. You could. Problem solved.

Okay. You are protected at all time. Yeah. When do you put your shoes on? When do I put my shoes on? Yeah. I put my shoes on. So I shower. I get dressed. I put my shoes on. You don't walk around barefoot at all in your house? I mean, from time to come. Like in your, in your bedroom, right? So like showers. Showers and my clothes, shoes. I am much more on the side of like, I'm not putting my hands on the floor. Right. I'm not putting my hands on the floor and then in my mouth. You're not laying down on the tile. I think the consequences in my life of if you told me that every morning I have to wake up and step on a floor that's full of germs. I think the implement. I think the implement.

implications of that are nothing. Nothing. Absolutely. Because guess what? I just put socks on and shoes on. Yeah. And then I later I take a shower on my feet get clean again. Then they get dirty. I mean, like, it's down there. That's the feet. I mean, you can walk around without shoes all day long. Did I convert you? Cool. I think it's a little bit of a different question of like which one do I think is clean? Let me ask you about this. Do you guys have three children? Yes. Yeah. You think their hands aren't all over the place. I don't care about how they take bacteria in. They take it up. That's fine. yeah i mean i feel like the double standard is always given to the dog too my wife is 100% my wife is all big about like that is fair shoes off we don't want the shoes on that is fair i'll give her credit she's kind of relented because i i need to wear my shoes for like old man foot support um but the dog always got free rain the dog can jump on furniture with 30 feet yeah yeah yeah that's run through the dirt the mud the grass yeah the poop and then walk inside and he's like oh take your shoes off so that your feet can touch what the dogs she doesn't put the dog in shoes

that's fair that that is very fair binging the show is better than weekly episodes oh this is an easy and obvious thing yeah we there's an easy one binge binge it false false you two pop a josh are you a binge or a weekly episode guy Josh if if it's a good show I like to binge it of course yes of course so mike and I are the weekly

anticipation I just talked about how I hate human beings but if I can experience an event with a group of them, it's better. Yeah, the binging causes a disconnect between when everybody watches everything. Yes. A little bit. That's not a little bit, a lot of bit. Jason, so. This happened for years when you had your story times at night.

As of the, when we can't watch 75 shows because you stay up to two in the morning. As of the recording of this podcast, Stranger Things, what is season five? Yeah, the final one. So is not out. I know that whenever let's just say it releases Sunday I don't know if it releases on Sunday Monday when I show up at work

if I have not watched every single episode of that season Jason will be able to spoil me and will be on eggshells and trying not to do it because you don't try to do that no have I ever spoiled you on anything ever I maybe maybe maybe

but I'm not I'm not crediting you. I'm not saying you do, but I'm saying unintentionally because you know what's a spoiler? Dude, episode three. Already, I've now been spoiled. Like, I'm going into episode three because now I'm heightened. I don't like knowing that somebody else knows what I don't know. Exactly. That feeling sucks. You're pretending that if it's a weekly show that the entire world is watching at the same time. And here's how I know that you're wrong about that whole argument. This whole argument is moot because there's currently

a hot show out on HBO right now while we're recording this that just concluded that a lot of people around this office have been watching. And you all can't talk about it at the lunch table because not everybody's caught up to the same episode. No, but it puts the onus on them. Yes. But it's the exact

I mean, there's no difference. When Game of Thrones was coming out once a week. You can't tell me that wasn't a better experience. When Game of Thrones was coming out once a week, it was unbelievably, it was the best experience of all time. And it was not because it was released every week. It was. It was because it was the biggest show of all time.

When House of Cards came out, which I believe was the first show, the ever just released the entire season. It was a world event. It was incredible. And people talked about it was it was, you know, it wasn't as good as Game of Thrones. Not because it came out as one, but because it just wasn't as good a show as Game of Thrones. The problem becomes

of it's just one episode and I know like game let's just go Game of Thrones let's say it's Sunday I know I can't watch the the one episode I only I can avoid spoilers until Monday

and in avoiding spoilers in today's day and age is I literally can't go on social media because I have I have been not from you Jay but just no I've been spoiled I have been I've been unintentionally spoiled from Twitter and Instagram countless times. And it's just a to the point where you're like, oh, I, because it's a habit, you go on social media,

I want to see what's going on, and you read six words into a same person died. Oh. Appointment television. No, no, no, no. And it's ruined. No, I didn't move on. Okay. When, oh, I thought you were asking the next question.

Oh, I was just saying appointment TV is very fun. When you miss. Having something that's coming out that night that everybody can kind of. talk about when you miss a week you back at the game of thrones day not everyone could see it every single Sunday night Monday night football are so great yeah so when you missed a week and the next week you go you're you're you're two behind and you finish that one episode just got that cliffhanger yeah you're like oh I got the next one yes it you feel so much better and so much more excited no because when I hit that cliffhanger I'm now it's now 11 p.m and I'm like oh no

If you want to pull the old man thing, no, if you want to pull the old man thing, the issue of being an old man is when I wait a week, I'm like, dude, I don't remember who's Robbie. I don't remember who anybody is. They tell you at the beginning of the show. Don't skip it. But when I watch two shows in a row, I know everything that's going on. You want your Cardinal game 16 days in a row? You want to watch them consecutively or do you want a week between sports?

Of course, not a week between sports. It's not a narrative. The event is longer. It is a narrative. Sports is a narrative. It's the ultimate narrative. No. It's the ultimate reality television.

You need time to talk about it. There is not. Decompress. In sports, you watch a game, then you get to talk about the game for seven days. Why does baseball suck, Jason? Too many games. Too many games. Also, boring.

Bored product. Oh, no, no. Also, low scoring. No. Also, baseball? Stupid rules. Baseball? Also, old people love it.

No, no. Also, cracker jacks. What's wrong with Cracker Jacks? Yeah, they're pretty good. They're the pinnacle of baseball. They're like the basement of every other snap. Okay, regardless. My point being,

don't you like those orange peanut things? Circus peanuts. All of those problems with, actually, I think I agree with most of them. You take baseball, you play one game of baseball a week. All those problems mysteriously disappear. Yeah, but not if it's still 162.

week season that that's it's just a I think this three years everybody's everybody's personality is different but when when an event comes out week over week it's a bigger event period yeah when the release of like even now they've gotten around that with stranger things they'll be a first part of the last season then there'll be a second part of the last season

they're just trying to get back to where they're recording it weekly they got to make that schmoney a real Christmas tree is better than a fake Christmas tree oh man yes or no three two one I don't know no no I don't know I don't know I No, I don't have. You've had a real one? Oh, I've had many a real one. You both have had a real one? Yeah. I used to be.

It's incredible. The smell is great. Never in my life. The shape, not so great. Never in my real life. I, yeah. Real life. Never in my life had a real tree. I would have, young Jason would be so mad at me right now, so mad at me. Because I used to argue.

People that had fake Christmas trees for sure. In their house, they didn't know what they were missing. It was so stupid. a real Christmas tree where you go to a Christmas tree lot and you pick it up and you've got to figure out how to tie it on the roof of your car and you bring it home and the smell you have a literal real pine tree

in your house that you kill yeah it's dying it's still aliveish you put it in some water you put it in some water I'm gonna keep feeding it water but you can't but you can't I'm not bringing it but I'm not replanting it but I'm gonna have a good month okay with this carcass of a tree This tree that took how long to grow?

Probably a hundred years. Gives me a month of great joy. Don't act like you can't buy a bouquet of flowers. A bouquet of flower doesn't take 50 years to grow. Don't act like you've never taken a head of a trophy turtle. You know? I have never heard a turtle in my life. Anyways, you bring this tree into your home.

And you cannot replicate the scent. there's can which I do I mean on my fake one I put the I hang the little oils from the tree exactly there's there's you know you can get you're looking at how old the trees are I mean that they gotta be like 10 years AI overview from Google maybe less 6 to 10 that makes sense that's not that much that's not that bad it's not that bad yeah that's not that what

I mean what's it deserves to live longer six guys six to 10 years for it well Jason you at least will give it two months. Andy, six years for something to be in your house for a month? Nice nice burn. I really like the year. Oh, you're saying because I so I interpreted that as it's going to

take me a month before I take it down. Oh no, you'll go three months. You'll go three. There it is. Andy will be one month. Well, if you go to burn his house down. Andy will be Christmas tree three weeks. For six years of growth? Yeah. That's why. Do you know how fast I can drink a six-year-old bottle of wine, Mike? That's

It took six years to grow. One night. Trees are a different. What's the oldest tree? Oh, like a redwood? What is this argument? I'm talking about six years. The argument is six years for a tree is not that long.

Yeah. Four thousand and eight hundred years. Yeah. So this is like if something, if you put it on our scale, it's just barely alive. Yeah. That's a fly. That's a horse fly. That is inconsequential to the argument.

The argument is something takes six years to grow for you to enjoy it for two weeks. Yeah. That's we consume, my brother. Yeah. That's just. It's disgusting. It's really not. It's really not.

Six years to, to, how long does it take to grow fruit? Do you know how long asparagus? Fruiting trees take a long time. But they, but fruiting trees give you fruit year over year. No, no, no. Asparagus takes years to grow.

Does it? Yeah. And then you, and then you eat it that night. Right. But what is it, does it then? Goodbye. Goodbye, right. Goodbye.

Do you kill the, then I flush it into the toilet. No, no, no, no, no. I do that before I eat it. And your pee smells weird. but the whatever grows an asparagus is it does it

die when you take the asparagus from it or does it yeah it's like the whole the whole root like a like an onion like an onion

I don't know so like an onion an onion will grow and then you take the whole onion out it's its own thing and then you eat that and then you throw it away

now there but does an onion take six years onions take multiple seasons to grow unless you're doing baby pearl onions a fake tree

will take much longer to decompose in a landfill than a real tree that lasted. Sure, but my fake trees are used for years. This is like real grass, fake grass. There was a time when I was on team real grass all the time. Guess what? It takes, it's messy. It's filled with bugs. It takes forever to maintain. Growing an onion takes money to take months. What's that? A.I. overview says growing an onion

takes anywhere from three to nine months. So onions are multi-seasonal. So it just depends on the size that you want an onion. If you, like the normal onions, the big onions that you're getting at a store usually take multiple seasons to grow that large. You like, replant them sometimes. I'm growing onions right now. I'm seeing a lot of six to seven months. Agave. That's the first, like, to take an onion and then harvest the first version of it is six to nine months.

Agave plants take multiple years to grow and die after flowering one time and you take their stuff is what I'm seeing. It's just part of the circle of life. Two or three years. We use things up. And it's a sad reality. And guess what they can keep growing. You can keep growing trees in the same spot. You know how old a gazelle is when that line? eats it. It grew for 15 years and in one night it's eaten up. Yeah, okay. So are we on team fake or real

Christmas tree? So we're all on team fake because the truth is, despite me talking about how awesome it is to have in there, it is a unmitigated disaster of a mess that just barfs petals or needles everywhere while it continues to die that you have to water that is a fire risk. And then eventually you have to figure out how to get it to a landfill or put it in your backyard and watch it become literally the biggest fire hazard of all time in Arizona. You can chop it up and make a firewood. That would be better. Or you can take these new trees that are pre-lit, pre-wired, so easy, on wheels.

Like, you just roll them away for next year. That's the way to live. Uh, coffee tastes better ice than hot. What? Yes or no, three, two, one. No. No, we're all on iced coffee, people. That's, you know who iced coffee people are?

People that don't like hot coffee. People that think coffee are the, like my kids say they like coffee. But they don't. They have no idea what coffee is. They like sugar. They like sugar. Okay. They like sugar.

And they're like, oh, can we go get a coffee? And I'm like, you drink coffee. And they're like, yeah, like a frappuccine. Like a white caramel Pumpkin spice iced with with whip So you want a milkshake You want a milkshake

You don't like coffee You like sugar Yeah No you're right Which is fine Yes I'm not saying they're not absolutely delicious But you don't like coffee

It's not coffee It's not coffee Ice cream is better from a cone Three Two one No Yes No

Yes No Here's why I love ice cream It's better from a cone Because I unlike Andy I don't know about you Mike but I cannot consume that much ice cream. I just, I can't do it.

Certainly now with the speed I'm capable of. Oh my gosh, no. But I, I just, the consumption, the total amount, I can't do it. So you can savor it with a cone. Exactly. A cone is slower and it's, you, you have a limited space and then you get to eat the cone. I mean, eat the bowl.

Ice cream itself. Waffle bowl is the best. Okay. Like if we're taking waffle bowl out because I like to eat with a spoon, what it's served in. well it's just less messy oh that's that's my problem with the cone is I feel like you're just while you're eating the ice cream it's like you're doing maintenance on on it so it doesn't drip all over your hand you do have it's an event it's an event not not if you eat at the speed that I eat at do can I have some ice cream if I hit the whole one I will give you one gallon of the

most decadent ice cream yeah what would it be what would your go-to what would you pick my go-to is normally a cookies and cream no no no But, I mean, this, you hit one one, man. You got it. Give a shout-out. Are we getting dryers? Are we going to Coldstone? Is this a dary queen?

What are we doing? I mean, handles is my favorite ice cream. Okay. But that's not like, I probably can't get a gallon. Oh, I can get you a gallon. You can get me a gallon. I'll get as many pints as whatever pints fit in a gallon. Bedroom door should be closed when sleeping.

Three. Hold on. Hold on. Bedroom door should be closed when you are sleeping. Three, two, one. Yes. Yes. Otherwise, robbers.

Otherwise, children. That's... Yeah, and other robbers. It's funny because... I need them. We have to open the door to rob me. So I have... Well, we all have... You had to go through two doors.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. We all have three kids. It's too scary. We all have three kids. How many of your kids sleep at the door shut? All of them. One of them. Really?

One of mine. They leave them open? They leave them. One is cracked and one is open. To be fair. Only one of my children sleeps in a room with a working door. One's out of the doghouse. One of them has a working door.

The other one through disasters of not my making has the door no longer will sit on the hinges. You're doing an incredible job maintaining this home. I'm going. I have not fixed it, but we're at the point it needs a new door. it's all stripped and then the other one I was changing my bed so you know

I have my king size bed and I'm like okay we're changing this out brag much well you don't have a king you don't have a king size bed yeah but I don't go around just being like I've got a king size bed

you actually do very very much so much your bed has a subscription my bed is awesome I just I just upgraded my bed too The bed is service as a I just thought it's funny You have a SaaS bed

Okay, I have a... I don't mean to break. Yeah, there you go. But as I was changing it, it went out into the loft of like, what do you do with this mattress? And then it got claimed. And now we're months later and now my child just sleeps in the loft on a bed. Oh, okay.

All right. Okay. Yeah, I like it. Close your door. I like it closed. All right, we'll take a break. We'll draft. the spitballers draft we are drafting things that are noisy things that are noisy

papa josh is off the table he's obviously everybody's one-on-one my number one pick today there's a million choices obviously i'm going to go with fire alarms i'm going to go with fire alarms as things that are okay so by that so i have smoke detect that's what you're talking about like the smoke detector i'm not talking about the little beep i'm talking about a fire alarm goes off. When it goes off. I'm saying we all went through the fire, whatever, the school stuff. Drills? The fire drills. By the way, could I get a real fire once? I mean, you're giving me these drills. I don't want. You're giving me these drills for years. You know what I'm saying? I agree with Andy. It's a little boy who cries wolf. Yeah, it feels like, because you stop taking them serious.

Yeah. You stop taking them serious. You lay everyone's like just a little fire. I'm going to hang out in here. Oh, you got to go. So you slowly go out. I'm on a wild animal loose on the campus. Make sure that, make sure that one of the buildings, like that you're about to demo and rebuild something. Set it on fire. Get everyone out and set it on fire. So when the kids come out, they're like scared. I did it for a reason. I think the bigger thing is just how intense stop, drop roll was.

It was very intense. Stop drop roll was the key to most of our life. If you grew up in the 90s, you don't do drugs, stop drop roll. Yeah, you were under the impression that every. that everyone, everyone who's older than you, they're trying to give you drugs. Number two, you're going to be on fire so much. You're going to be on fire.

Not only are you definitely going to be on fire. Not only are you going to be in situations of fire all the time, but you, unlike everybody, are going to be okay. Because of the. Because you know how to stop dropping roll. Has anybody in this room been set on fire before? I have not. I, not yet.

No. Papa Josh, you'd be the one. No, that never happened. Has anyone in here ever had to do. Stop dropping. Stop drop and roll. No. No, that would go along with being on fire, Jason.

Well, no, no, no, you don't have to be on fire if you're in a building. You might think you're on fire. You might be in a building that's on. Wait, is this like only if you're on fire? Yes. This wasn't like if you're in a building. You thought you stopped drop and roll when you're not on fire. You get away from the smoke and you roll your way out.

No, no, you're supposed to drop you. I got to get out of here. Roll, roll, roll. Did you really think this? I really thought that. I really thought. If you're on fire. There's a wall of the way, roll.

That's why you asked it. Okay. Fire alarms is the noisiest thing. That's amazing. Jason's in the middle of a building. Everyone's crawling out normally. He's rolling out. He's just spinning right into a fire.

This fire can't catch me. Oh, my gosh. Because I'm rolling. Because I'm rolling. Oh, my gosh. Fire alarms is my number one pick. Mike, you are on the clock. Babies.

Oh, babies. I had babies on a plane. I feel like this one. Babies in your house. Babies on a plane, babies in the movie theater, babies in the church, babies in the library, babies everywhere. Babies is a good answer.

The loudest thing ever is. They're noisy. Is babies. All they can do is be noisy to get your attention. Yeah. So, Jason, you're up. All right. Two picks.

And they'll just don't be loud even when they don't want your attention. They're just loud all the time. All right. They're noisy. Man, there's nothing better than a sleeping baby. You know what I mean? Just so beautiful, so cute, so peaceful, so soft, cuddly. Not making noise.

the bedroom door you keep closed. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. For the noise. And you put the towel underneath, too, for sure. Well, you got to let smoke out. Otherwise, baby can't roll out. Roll, baby, roll. You can't grow out, but you're going to be fine.

All right. First. Roll, baby, roll. All right, Jason, two picks, noisy things. Number one is a motorcycle gang, okay. Oh, okay. And Mike gets the reference even better, but yes, this is. This would have been my number one.

Yeah, my number one would, kind of like Nixon. Some real cool people on a motorcycle gang. They're so noisy and loud. It's so noisy. Pick me. Dude, they're so cool, man. They're so cool.

They're so cool. How many members does it take to make it a gang versus a couple people riding together? That's the number of those in my head. Three? Two is a couple people riding a motorcycle. One people on each bike or do you have to have multiples on the bike? You can have three on one bike. Yeah, 100%.

But you have to three on one bike is a gang? Yeah, but you have to be shoulder, shoulder. Oh, you've got to ride topsy? It's not one person in the back and a sidecar. This is double shoulders. The motorcycle games makes a motorcycle gang. And then I'm going to go with probably the thing that outside of babies was a great answer. Because outside of this, like fire alarms, great answer, but I don't run into them very often.

Like an actual fire alarm going on. You've rolled out of there already. Yeah, exactly. you can't catch me um but the one thing that is noisy that is common and frequent and you deal with it a lot you can deal with it at work you can deal with it at home you can deal with it when you're just out and about it's just annoying or it's landscapers yeah just whether it's the little lawnmower the leafblower everything they do is just loud it's like oh and i feel i always feel so bad because these are guys making a living yeah and i like i respect you're doing work i don't want to do

it's like in Arizona I understand the most of the country does not understand this yeah that the Arizona culture is you most people have a landscaping crew they come and they do at least for the summers

and you just but when you hear them you get so angry keep it down like it's it's an irrational anger and it's you're like you're looking for me it's just all the tools it's the it's the blower it's the mower it's it's everything is loud we got to fix it um mike you are back on the clock you have noisy babies uh so i'm gonna go

i mean i'm calling out i'm calling out two of my own right now wait a minute children when they grow up when these babies grow up adolescence teenagers toddlers just peep every stage of human no what is it it's barking dogs oh yes and i mean not on my list And I'm, I apologize, I will do this. This is my platform. My neighborhood, I'm sorry. Yours, does it? I've got the dog.

You have the dog. I have the dog. I have, well, there's a few in my neighborhood, but I have one of the dogs. The other day we had people over and we put the dog in one of the back kids rooms with one of the kids. The dog really is social, wants to see everybody. Yeah. But we kept them in there because sometimes he can jump on people. This dog was barking every so often.

I thought I was going to go crazy. It was that noisy and annoying. I was like, there can't be, he cannot jump on people worse than this level of annoyance. When I hear it in the corner of my ear. Have you tried like the ultrasonic? I, like, I bought one. You're the, we need to fix this, Mike. Your neighbors hate you.

I, I know, but I have other neighbors that I hate and then their dogs do it too. I bought the barking dog for them. I bought one at one time, but it, it did not work. It did not work. It did not work well. Keep buying them. But, yeah, my dogs. I pointed at your neighbor's dogs.

My dogs let everyone. no, there might be a threat. All right. At all times, you would not believe how many threats are going on in my neighborhood. I'm going to go with more things that are annoyances. It's in the same vein as the landscapers, but I'm going to go construction sites. Yeah. Construction sites, because you're going to get a wider variety of annoying noises from a construction site than just the landscaper pick.

You're going to get random, you know, nail guns. You're going to get big machinery sounds. You're going to get people too early and too late at the construction site. So I'm going to go construction sites as a noisy item there. The next one, we can't make them quiet. We've tried. We can't do it. It's made to be loud.

It's a blender. It's my next pick, too. A blender, look, it is, it is a, what is the ice cream machine we've been using? The ninja creamy? Nothing has been louder than that. That's the loudest thing on the planet. and it's like five minutes of it to get this ice cream. That machine rules.

Yeah. And yet it is also the loudest machine. Your neighbors can hear you make an ice cream. It's funny too because you know it's louder than my dogs. You know it's loud. You know it's like this makes a lot of noise, whatever. But oftentimes when you're using a blender, you are with other people. And you're in conversation.

Like this morning, I was thinking like a morning, a morning shake. And my son comes, my son comes out. And he starts talking to me right when I was going to hit the button. the button it's just like over hey dad would just like I was like sorry but he couldn't hear me say sorry and then it was like it was over go away of the ninja creamy I had uh there was a like months ago there was a gathering so I mean there's a giant amount of people at my house but I was already I had prepped I had my frozen creamy all I had to run it and I needed my protein ice cream yeah of course I took the ninja cream to my upstairs

bathroom. To run it? Oh, yeah, dude. This is not a joke. Oh, you just not a joke. I knew it you're upstairs bathroom. Yeah. People still heard it. Like, there's, there's 15 people in my kitchen and my living room. I can't run this thing. So I took it upstairs. I mean, it was delicious. I made incredible protein ice cream. Bathroom ice cream. I ate it on the toilet. And you need your shoes off inside. No, you don't. All right, Mike, babies and barking dogs. Another pick. All right. It's not. It's not. a problem all the time except somehow in the like it's always big news when the when the brood is going to show up and yet we have them every single summer oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

with cicadas i knew where you're going i don't feel like it's as big a deal in arizona as it is in like the midwest we don't get the we don't get the the seven-year brood right but we just we have them every year and i'm confused because we have we have parts of the United States where it's like, this is the year. And then you see it and you're like, that is a, that is, that is, that is hell on earth. There's a nightmare happening. These things are in trees peeing on people. I think there's a lot of people listening that don't know what you're talking about. So it's a bug that sounds like a leaf blower. Yeah. It's a buzzing. It's a pretty annoying. It's not a single bug. If it was a

single bug, it's a bunch of them that harmonize in a million bugs on, but I'm saying, I feel like we get them and they're just singles. I feel like we're so. to it like i go outside and i don't even hear i don't i don't hear it's a drone because i'm telling you we don't have enough lush trees here but they're awful cause the the amplification of just enough circadus together all right jason your last two motorcycle gang landscapers you got two more i got two more i'm gonna go with something that is that sounds awesome it's really important impactful um i wish I knew how to use it. It's an amazing thing

that you want to listen to. Right? Sounds like, well, that doesn't sound bad. That doesn't sound noisy. But drum sets are awful. Drums are very loud. They're so loud. And it is my understanding that unless you're in a famous band,

you don't know how to play drums. Because everyone learning to play drums, like even people that know how to play drums, like even people that know how to play drums when I watch would just play drums by themselves not in a band just play drums it's just like blah blah blah blah blah blah like this is cool man cool I don't that's so noisy that's so you're really good or not I don't know I don't know it's always the thing you say you want your kids not to do oh for sure yeah we got the electric drum set for yeah things things have gotten better over time but I mean when we were growing up you're

just and it takes a long time to be good at the drums one more one more one more and this is something that we deal with from time to time. Make it extra noisy. Where we live, this is very noisy. Where we live, it is Oh, crap, don't take my pick. It is so loud that you

sometimes have to stop talking to have a conversation with someone else. I think you're taking my... Oh, yeah, I know. Even though it is I don't know how far, 15,000 feet away. Oh, it's on my... That's my next pick! Yeah. It is jets. It's fighter jets. It's fighter jets. The world's loudest

machine. How are they so loud? There's nothing louder. It's impossible for something. I still don't understand how the people inside these cockpicks aren't liquefied. Like, they're so close to a sound that is so far away. It blows my mind. Yeah, I had jet engines

on the list. I mean, it goes with that. It's like we have an Air Force base like 40 miles away or something. It's not close. It's not close. And these things, some days, they're like, this is the day we're going to do it. We're going to fly over every neighborhood 80 times. And you're not going to speak. All right. You know what we're going to do tonight, guys? Night training. Yeah. It's two in the morning. Your house feels like there's an earthquake happening. Your windows are

rattling. And keep in mind, like Andy said, we're 40 miles away. This is not like we live no. We're not next door. We are in the flight path because some genius was like, you know where that land's cheap? Where the fighter jets are going to fly over it. And then we're like, oh, go, go, buy that house. That's a great pick. All right, babies, barking dogs, cicadas, Mike, and now you've got to come up with another noisy thing. That was my last pick. Not anymore.

No, not anymore. We're going to go. Did anyone take car alarms yet? Nope. Okay. I'll go with the car alarm. So annoying. Because this is double trouble of.

I don't feel like I hear him as much as I used to. I agree. I feel like they've fixed the systems. Because what happened is we all just. get mad and angry and we assume that someone is an idiot. We don't assume that somebody's breaking in. We don't assume theft

is happening. We used to. We assume that someone is an idiot. Yes. And didn't disarm it or whatever. Doesn't know how to turn it off. Someone find your keys. They sat on their keys. Yep. You sit and you're like, you hit the panic button. You go about 45 seconds. You're like okay, that's not my car.

You're like, it's definitely not my car. And we all do that and you just let the car alarm go forever. And it's so loud and so stupid and stops nothing. Yeah. No, it's a good pick. I'm going to finish up with... I wish I'd fight your time. I'm going to finish up with the other one.

Look, if you could just narrow this thing to a small window and actually live by it, I'm fine with it. Because it's an expected noise. But people don't do this. Babies. They buy them. And then they just fire them off whenever the heck they want. It's fireworks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's fireworks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are, I'm an old cremogen now. Look, if you want to fire them off at midnight on New Year, cool fourth of july you want to you want a window from about six when it gets dark till about 9 30 at night an hour to three hours after sunset go for it but if you just have extras that you're going to fire off at random times on random days go in the desert respectfully i hope you strap yourself to one of them that's where i'm at with fireworks so um honorable mention i wanted

to pick it just because it's funny but roosters was on my list oh that's actually a good pick Chainsaws, thunderstorms, vacuums. Yeah, vacuums. I had hair dryers. How if we not figure this out? Sirens. We can't blow air quietly. That's what the whole like, you know, none of it.

None of it. Tell that's a Dyson. They're still loud. Yeah, not there. No, like the, Are there vacuums? Not the vacuums, but you said you can't blow air quietly. They've got their little silent fans with the big circle.

Are you an affiliate? That's not trying anyone's hair. You an affiliate? No, of course not, but Dyson.com plus Jason FFL. Machine guns. Machine guns are pretty noisy. They're pretty noisy, Jay. Helicopter rotors.

And this one is a weird noisy because no one likes the sound. And even though it's not as loud as some of the other stuff, to you, it is the loudest thing of all time. It is a dentist drill. Oh, yeah, because you. It's inside your head. Yeah. Yeah, my wife had to go to the dentist's. morning and she was dreading it it was just like I hate the dentist she hates the

dentist because they try to talk to her but she's got yeah when they try to talk to you too much it's it's just that's why she can't talk back and then you're like are you are you having a good day today oh oh what are you doing how are talking how are the kids like uh christopher lloyd yeah what did we learn today I learned what did I learn I learned that what did you convince me of Jay I convinced you of one of the the taking off your shoes inside the house yes so you learned that is better to you're allowed to leave your shoes on it's not any dirty I re learned of andy's overconfidence that he could hit a hole in one it's not overconfidence until I prove it

I learned that I'm going to make so much money when Andy offers me a bet on the hole in one. Find me a hole. Okay. And I will hit the ball into it. It's very easy. Can we do that at Topgolf? No.

Oh. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com. Thank you.