Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Jason's Mid-Life Crisis & A Robot Battle Royale - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

Spit Hit for Oct 2nd, 2025:Join us today for Jason’s therapy session as he gets some things off his chest that he has apparently been bottling up for way too long. We also discuss poop slinging robots and dusty, homeless butterflies. Then we are back in the Colosseum for a ‘Famous Robot Battle Royale’. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. That's what you get. That's what you deserve. you talking to the listeners out there that we're counting on you talking to the men in this room you monsters oh man oh my god we pulled it off you got me so good we did it jare

uh jason may or may not have known he was the scat until about halfway through the song oh man and that's what you got some sort of uh word vomit i am i'm so exhausted because it was the perfect day for it it was the perfect day we we have a very busy schedule today this is my third show i'm recording i spent the last 20 minutes yawning that's all i did and then sit down it's like it's all right it's all right i'm gonna get up for the show we're gonna have a great time i sit down i'm exhausted i was all i was lying you like the part where i was asking you about the previous show for a while oh that was all part of it it was all part of it and then all of a sudden the i mean i was interested but the monitor that i look at while we record the

show switches straight to just me and the music starts playing and i know what that means it means i got to do the skat do you enjoy it mike really uh high quality scat yeah i mean i don't know what new listeners are going to think think of that welcome welcome to the spitballers we like to open it up with a it was a different it was the different version of scat um for sure the boom boom kind uh welcome in al borland in the bill Judd Yamati, both hanging out in Ducer's alley. We've got, would you rather, we've got a draft today, another Battle Royale, heading back to the Coliseum. You could have on a robot thing.

I didn't even know what today's show. I was not prepared. Think faster. I can't beep, boop right now. Beep, boop. Beep, boop. Yeah, now that was a nerdy robot. What are you talking about?

We've got a new. You're a nerd. A new game, why is Al laughing so hard? I don't know, but I had to keep going. He kept laughing so I kept going. We have a new game we're playing today. So pretty excited about that. Jason's excited that it's not highway to spell.

Yeah, that's true. But let's start with some would you rather? Would you rather? Valentina from Patreon. Would you rather have a cat along with any other. pets you'd like or never be able to have any pets again so this is forcing you into a cat has to come along with anything else you want yeah so yeah no pets for me please so you but you don't want pets anyways like you don't really want your dog uh he's all right fair well let me just

ask you this was it your idea to get the dog no it was not were you were you opposed at any point in time to getting said dog yes did family have to convince you or pull strings or make deals to get the dog yep yeah he's going no pets this is like yeah it's an easy

one for me do you want what you want or do you want what you don't want that's right I pick what I want that's very fair look can you have an outdoor cat can you train them to just be outdoors you can well that's the direction I go like way outdoors

I mean, a lot of people, I don't know if... I have one now. I have never seen it. I don't know if it's frowned upon or not, but like there's a lot of people that they just, that's what they do. The cat goes and lives a feral outdoor life. And then they just put out some milk or something? Well, then when it's time to eat, then the cat shows up, sleeps in the house, and then repeat. Really?

There was a, we went to an Airbnb a couple years ago up north in the woods, and there was a cat that was, clearly well fed but it was just like a fat cat yeah it was like a healthy fat cat but so sweet and it wasn't it was super wealthy this this feline was made of money uh no and there there was this it wasn't a wild cat it was like a domesticated cat but it was outdoors it was on our back patio and she or he would come up and was so sweet would walk right up no fear but wasn't mean you could pet it, feed it, like it? I mean, this, it felt like this was a cat who lives off of tourists. Probably was, right?

The only cats with the, the outdoor feral existence is that you can end up with, well, with kittens. Or coyotes. Yeah, I guess that's true as well. But if you listen to Bob Barker, you're not having. Now, Mike, you are on record as being a cataposer. Well, yes. Are you willing to endure one for the sake of keeping your doggies? I am far more on the side of dogs.

Always give me dogs. But the cats, the problem is I'm allergic to cats. That's my problem too. I might like them. And I've built in a defense mechanism that I'm just opposed to cats. Over the summer, I went and I stayed at my family and I, we traveled. We stayed at a buddy's house. They have a cat.

And they're definitely worth some. some, some allergy issues. You know, not too bad. I was, I made it through. And I was like, this cat's fine. Like, this cat, I don't know, I kind of like this cat. Like, they hang out. Did you pet the cat?

Yeah, the other cat would come up to you. It, like, scratches. This cat, they live in Colorado, so this cat. Great skier. Yes, I mean, tremendous slopes, black diamonds all the whole way for this cat. But it, like, it hunts. so I mean like if there's ever a mouse that gets into this house they live in Colorado yeah so it hunts well I'm just saying like like you're thinking

it doesn't hunt because they live in Colorado well that's what you said but I'm saying they live in the cat this cat's in Colorado so it hunts I'm saying so if there is any rodent that gets in the house the rodent is gone also in other states they do that too yeah but we don't have as many mice products not the Colorado So really the issue is, hey, Coloradans, is that what you call you? Yeah, Coloradoans. Take care of your rodent issues, you disgusting city. They're filthy slabs.

But also, moths. Does you know that cats will hunt? You know, like, when you have a moth in your house, it's so obnoxious. Cat takes care of that. Now, what about a butterfly, though? Gone. Oh, no. You want a butterfly in your house?

I would rat. Yeah, I wouldn't want to watch a butterfly get eaten by a cat. I don't understand it. Why do butterflies get such a pass compared to moths? Yeah, they look good. One looks good. The other is a disgusting monster. Yeah, moths look all, they're all dusty.

They're like, they're dusty. They are dusty. They're dusty. Any time you blow on a, if you can see a moth and get close enough, you go dust everywhere. Yeah, you can blow off all of its wings, I think. It's possible that a moth is just a dusty butterfly. And we just don't know.

Have we looked into this? We haven't been able to blow off enough dust. It's a butterfly. It might be beautiful under there. Having to live on the street. It's a homeless butterfly. It's a homeless butterfly. And that's why they go in your attic?

That's why they eat your clothes. Yeah. I mean, it is funny, the standard we have for animals. Beautiful butterfly. I mean, there are animals like, you know, mice versus rats. I mean, I think everybody. Mice are kind of cute. Cute little, let me, let me have it.

as a pet. Rats and moths hang out. Oh, man. Rats and moths, they are what bring the plague. That's true. Actually, the plague really that did not reflect well on the rat population. No. So you're taking the cat. Yeah, it's, I'll

deal with. Enjoy the asthma attacks. Yeah, I'll deal with it. I think Mike and I, I hate to say this, I think Mike and I are kind of coming around on cats. I can never have a cat I want to hate cats Like don't hear what I'm not saying I want to hate them

Yes I don't I'm not a cat person I want to hate them It's a fun thing to hate It's so cool Some of them are real rude Oh they've They've got their nose and their butt pointed up at you They're real pretentious

Don't worry about me They're not going to come when they call their names You know there's so many great reasons to hate cats And I enjoy hating cats It's one of my hobbies. When people are like, what do you like to do? I'm like, I like fantasy football. I hate cats.

Right. But my whole personality reflects it. I think if we're being honest, we don't do that a lot around here. I don't think cats are that big a problem. I think they're probably like a bet cat owners really like their cats. Yeah. And I think there's something advantageous. Like, I've always, part of why I haven't liked cats is because.

they are the opposite of dogs like dogs love you they they they want to be in their affection they want to get pet they have to be in the same room yeah exactly they're they wait for you at the door when you're gone cats i imagine when you're when you're gone they're like heck yeah let's tear this place up you know it makes sense that you're coming around on cats actually because you like baseball now stop it stop it take that back is this because like you're old he's changed i'm just trying to i'm trying to i'm trying to stay young, Jason's midlife crisis is

I like to open opening up. Yeah. Oh boy. I do think that I like the idea of an animal that would kind of not need me.

There's something nice about that too. You can leave you can leave them for trips. I mean one of the problems one of the reasons I genuinely like I love my dog. I really do. Copper's awesome. Love my dog now that I have a dog. But the reason I didn't want a dog in part was just

the true responsibility of a dog I knew my kids wouldn't take that seriously and I knew that if we wanted to go somewhere I'll feed it every day. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'll clean up the poop. No, you won't. Yes, I will. No, you won't. I know you won't. Yes, I will.

But he did not clean up the poop. The fact that we could leave for three or four days and not think about putting, you know, having somebody take care of the dog or having to board the dog or whatever. Yes, dog boarding is the practicality of it. You know, that's all. Yeah. So I think my answer is I'm going to trade in my dogs for a cat.

No, you can have dogs. No, I'm getting rid of them. No, he's moving on to full cats. Totally changed. My, my youngest, littlest dog. You still got that dog, huh? That scientific word that describes her perfectly is, uh, man, that thing won't stop pooping and peeing on everything. I mean, get rid of it. I need to, I need the coyotes. I need them to come close. to my home. Oh, my gosh. Are you sitting like a, like a Jurassic Park little goat trap out there? Bring the coyotes?

I, look, I'm going to have an outside dog soon. Oh, no. And then I hope to not have a dog soon. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm done with Pepper. Pepper, look, I'm putting you on blast name and all. You suck, Pepper.

You suck. I want someone to take you from me by any means necessary. I won't do it. Free dog signs. out front? Three dog. Poops and peas everywhere. So she cannot be trained. She's not doing too good. Oh, she knows. She knows.

She could go. Oh, I watch her go out that dog door and poop and pee outside. I watch her do this every day. She can do it 12 times a day and max of four times outside. Oh, man. Oh, I can't stand that. This is real life. This is the real life. Give me a cat. We'll scoop that box. Yeah.

So you got robots now for that. So the cat will poop in your house. No. So will the dog. You've seen the robot, though, right? Like a robot. The litter bot. The litter bot is a...

I mean, no, I'm not up to date on cat tech. Dude, there are commercials during the, like, football games for litter bot. What? Litterbaw how much money are they making? Well, there's a free commercial here, Andy thinks. It looks like something that makes you not have to do anything. I think it rotates and the poop drops out the bottom. I don't know.

But how does it get out of your house? Never scooping it. You got to take that out. It's just like flinging. No. It just shoots it. Put it near a window. Open the window between 1230 and 1245 p.m.

Oh, man. I didn't open the window. Oh, no. Not again. Tarn, you robots. Oh, boy. Look, I'm a cat man now. You're a cat.

A cat man. I just love. Us cat people. We got to stick together. Right, Brooks? Me and you, cat lovers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, full circle.

All right. Larry from the website, would you rather not be able to use a washer and trier or not be able to use a dishwasher? Oh, this one is pretty easy. Super easy. Yeah. I can paper plate my life, man.

Yeah, your solution isn't washing a dish. No. It's wasting paper. I could throw regular dishes away, too. No, that's true. Porcelain. There's a whole trash can. I mean, the solution.

Oh, man. little pots and pans. I mean, if, yeah, probably. If need be. If need be,

what is this mac and cheese? That's probably going to stick. I'm going to toss it out. Has anyone, like, how do you,

the washer dryer is just so much more. I've never hand washed any clothing. That's what I was going to ask is, how does one do it? Because I know, would you do the pool? In my, in my head,

just toss it? It's, in my head, it's, they have, you know, the weird shaped, the basin?

No, the washboard. Yeah, the washboard. Oh, the washboard. You should like my abs? I said like the app, like abs, not mine.

It's a washbelly. What you do is you roll it on this ball. Like, how does this even work? So you put the, the linen on it and then you just scrub against it? I don't know, I don't have a washboard. It's not 1881. I will say this. So every now and then, there's a really important clothing item, right?

Like, oh, we've got a choir concert. Yeah, they got this one shirt. And there's one shirt they got to wear, oh, no, there's something on or it's dirty or wasn't washed or whatever. And when I see this shirt get washed in a sink, right? Like soaked in a sink, used a little soap. It's like, throw that away. What are you doing? You have soiled the shirt.

You have ruined the shirt. That's not how shirts are cleaned. It feels so wrong. It's funny because I don't think it even enters my mind that if there's a dirty piece of clothing we need, that the option would be to hand wash it real quick. Right. My thought is, oh gosh, I have to do a load. I have to do a load and wait because there's no other solution. Yeah.

There's nothing else you could do other than wear it dirty or wash it in the washing machine. Yeah, so you have to get rid of the dishwasher here. And to be honest, there have been like obviously I'm not throwing away all of my dishes. But in real life, there have been times where I have chosen to just hand wash the dishes instead of loading it, washing it, running it, unloading it. Like, just like, you know what? It's going to be easier to wash these. Just knock them out? Wash these four or five things by hand.

Oh, I get that. Dry and put them away. So it's like, I think we could. And honestly, in my household, I think we would do better without a dishwasher. Because we would do that more. We would think, like, I don't want this to pile up, you know. Well, you and your wife would. Right.

I'm just saying, like, the kids are, kids are not helping. Oh, the kids have never done a chore in their life. Give me a doggy, daddy. I'll take care of it. Now give me three. And we say yes. I promise they won't poop on everything forever. Oh, that stupid dog.

Yeah, we're all going to keep the washer dry. I hate pepper. Whoa. What is happening? I hate pepper. Well, that's your dog. I'm not talking about the seasoning. I'm talking about my dog.

I hate that dog. There's a therapy session happening right now. Yeah. Does your wife know how much you hate your dog? She hates that dog. I mean, she hates that dog. That dog is the worst. That dog sucks.

I remember when you first got pepper, it was like, oh, they're so cute. You can hold her. What a sweetie. Honest to goodness. She'd be the best dog in the world if she could just go pee and poop out of my house. That's it. That's it. She's a wonderful dog in every other way.

But so I have learned this about, let's just call him. animals. If I had a friend that didn't know how to properly use my toilet, they're not my friend anymore. My love for you is contingent on your ability to poop and pee how you should. That's it. Have you considered diapers? I would not want to change dogs. Oh, no. Yeah, that's trying to help me. Who's going to change pepper tonight? Not the kids. Have you done like the the pittal pads or whatever, like just, just accept that this is happening. I'm guessing they've done just about everything. We've paid for trainers. We've, uh, did you get your money back? No, but at least it was expensive. I hate that dog, man.

Oh, man. This is a real moment for you. Yeah. Are you trying to find someone from the Spitt Ballers audience that wants a dog? Spitwads. You want a famous dog? Been talked about on one of the most famous comedy podcasts of all the time named Pepper. She has incredible tricks that involve I'm sure she'd never poop in your house. I, well, you won't see her do it. That's for sure.

I've never once caught her in the act. Oh, are you sure? You just find the poop? Never one single moment in our entire life of this dog. Have I seen her go pee or poop inside? Is your dog sending a message? Oh, she is.

Like, we don't, I don't care for your things. The message is, I suck. The message is, I like to poop on, pillows. I love it. Oh, she hops up on surfaces everywhere. You want to know where she likes pooping on top of soft things. That's where she likes. She's got a comfy.

Hold on a second. You've never seen her do that. Not one single time. How do you know it's pepper? Well, I've got one small dog and two big dogs. We're not talking about dogs. Okay. Well, I might not love my children.

I don't know. I'm going to have to verify that. Oh, man. Spitwads. Would you like a famous child? All right. One more for you, Jason, because this is all going to come back to Pepper anyways. Kramer from Patreon says, would you rather lose all feeling in your hands or in your feet?

They still function, but are completely numb except for the occasional pins and needles feeling. How important is the feeling in your feet? You ever stood up off the toilet and almost fill over? Because you're numb feet? Yeah. I don't think it's because of my numb feet. It's because of my numb legs. It's all working together.

Well, yeah, but if it was only the feet... No, I had... If your feet are numb, you're not going to be able to properly balanced. Can you get used to that? Maybe. It's only one way to find out. Give me those rubber bands. But I bet if your feet are numb, you're going to have a real hard time walking.

I had an issue a few weeks back where, because I'm almost 40, my big toe decided to be pretty numb for a day. Weird. And for more than a day, actually. It was actually a real problem. The last four years. It's fine now. Did you have MD that?

Yeah, you bet I did. I was like, what is going on? You're dying. It looked fine, and it worked fine, but it was like a little numb. So when, if you like watched it. But it was really annoying. If you looked at it. Yeah.

You're barefoot, and then you flex your toe. Yeah. could you tell that like oh yeah i could tell i could feel it moving yeah it was more like the sensitivity of like the toe touching the inside of the shoe or it would just feel like kind of a pins needlesy thing i'm just saying it was very annoying i feel like you have to have feeling in your hand but maybe i'm wrong about that like no you do you will injure your if you don't have feeling and you injure your hand there's that you will just now that's better than injuring your foot not knowing because you could like not see your feet

I'm probably going to notice my hands bleeding I think walking is important and I think I'd be able to see my hand get injured yeah now what about the hot cold burning and stuff that would be a problem but would it be a problem if you can't feel it well if it's in a sense of like like obviously if you're permanent damage

really but you know if I'm putting my hand on you know in an oven sure but like There's times where I just like, ow, that hurt or, you know, I shock something. It's not going to injure me, but I don't have to have those feelings anymore. But you won't do the owl. You'll just have it on there. And it will stay on there because you won't, you just did the reaction of ow and you pulled your hand away. I was speaking, though, in that moment of like shocking myself on a charger or a laptop or anything metal.

I shock myself all the time. Do you? Oh, my gosh. This man's electric. Boogie, boogie. Yeah, absolutely. So, um, I'm going to go with the hands. But, but when you have no feeling in your hands, I mean, like doing just small mechanical,

tactile things. Oh, that would be, that'd be impossible. Like when you, you can't, you can't find the FNJ on a keyboard. Yeah, that would be true. You actually can't feel the keys. I, yeah. I mean, like, I'm, if you can't have feeling there, you have to look at a keyboard to type. One foot, one hand. Is that an option? It's a bad option. But like, I've, I've, I've had to do, you know, music stuff. Oh, man. You'd be ruined. Outside in the cold. And aside from it, I mean, hurting extra, it's weird because it hurts more, but you're also just, it hurts, but you can't feel what you're doing. But you don't have like the tactile feel. Yeah. So you don't know where you are on the, on the fretboard. It's interesting. It makes things very difficult. I, you use your sense of touch more than you realize. I think you're 100% right. I believe you use it so much that we can't even think of important enough examples. I believe that if my feet. were numb I could still walk I'd have to get used to the weirdness of having numb feet

but if that's the case so long as I can function I would much rather have numb feet than numb hands I think I'm switching I think you're right about that and you put your feet inside of something that makes like one like you could roller blade everywhere right you can still rollerblade with your numb feet or walk with shoes maybe those are the only two things all right we're moving on What time is it? Game time. It is game time. We have a brand new game. And we're calling it Baller Dash.

Yes. So it should sound original. Spit Ballardash. Spit Baller Dash. And what has happened is we have five prompts with five different categories. And these were given to us by Al Borland before the show. and we submitted our answers to the five prompts to Al Borland before the episode

and we will be playing five rounds and trying to identify the correct answer because there will be a correct answer, right? There will be our three submissions trying to fool one another. Our traps, our three lies. And one real answer and we'll get points if the other people

were to try to guess our fabricated answers to these prompts. it feels almost like liar liar and yet you can't lose again to owl right because he's not playing you guys are the liars right yeah we'll see how good we are and we'll see if we can remember our lines yeah we've got different categories like definitions notable people acronyms movie plots weird laws you'll see how it goes you'll you'll follow along in and i believe the judge himself is going to start tracking now if we guess the right answer we get points right you get two two points and If we have somebody else guess our answer, do we get one point? One point. And if we guess our own answer, does that count for a point? That's one. That's one point.

No points. Oh, come on. What? All right. So let's kick it off and see how we do in our very first attempt at Ballardash. Yes. All right. We're going to start off with the definition.

The word that I gave you was myriotch it. Oh, boy. Miriach it. I cannot spell. Miriach it. Okay. So the four answers are. are nervous spasms

suffered by certain Siberians Okay, spasms The bewildering state Of being intoxicated while hanging out with your in-laws Okay Drunk with your in-laws A cell that can no longer replicate

Cell Mm-hmm And a musician who specializes In the guitar on The guitar on? A musician who specializes in the guitar on. Am I allowed to look up what a guitar on looks like? Is that

the word guitar with O-N at the end? Is that a real thing? G-U-I-T-A-R-R-O-N. If he tells you if it's not real, then you know that that's not the real one. Does anyone here know that a guitar on is a real thing is my question? I feel like that's a fair question.

A guitar on? You guys are playing on your own team this time. That's right. So now we each need So we have the spasms Intoxicated with in-laws Feeling Sell that what Can no longer replicate

Can no longer replicate and then guitar on Not the guitar on but a music A musician who specializes in the guitar on I think that's a play on Miriachi I think that's what that is Because the word is Miriachians

I think so Which makes me But the problem is we're all acting like we didn't make it up that says you said the man who made it up we're under you right through you that one's out yep uh you know what that's i'm entering that as my final answer i'm going to go with the stupid mariachi is he taking a zero for a this is a trap change if he took a zero well see that's the problem if one of us guesses aren't we revealing well you not necessarily yeah you could guess your own we should have to lock in before we reveal i agree okay you should

write down your answer. Yeah. Okay. I've got mine. While we're thinking of it, read those four so that those at home can listen to that again. The word is myriotchit, nervous spasms suffered by certain Siberians, the bewildering state of being intoxicated while hanging out with your in-laws, a cell that no longer can no longer replicate, or a musician who specializes in the guitar on. All right, let's lock in. All right.

I'm locked. I am locked. You can just write one, two, three, or four if you want, or... Okay. however you want to do that. No, we're locked. All right. Andy,

are you sticking with the music one? I'm going to stick with the musician one. I'm going with the spasms one. I'm going with the cell that cannot replicate. All right. The real answer was the spasms. Oh, baby. Nervous spasms suffered by certain Siberians.

Beep, beep. Jason, you guessed a cell that can no longer replicate. Is that correct? Yes. That is Mike's a commanding lead. Three-O, baby. Yeah, and then Andy, you guessed a musician who specializes in the guitar on, that is Jason's.

It was a play on Marriacci. I knew it. I didn't know you were that dumb. Yeah. Man, is that a real instrument? He was playing it up. Yeah. Wow. So wait, what's the score? Three to one to zero?

That is correct. That is correct. Mike has three. Oh, boy. Jason has one, Andy has zero. Jason went with Miriachi. And then you made up the word guitar on. No, that's real.

That's what they play. Because you're a moron. All right. Okay. It's the big star. It's the big one. It's the big one. Okay.

Well done. All righty. Now we know how it's going. We're on to notable people. Okay. The person's name is Milton Loeb. L-O-E-B. Milton Lobe, and he's famous for something.

Yep. So is Milton Loeb famous for creating toys intended to be played with by deaf children? Okay. Is Milton Loeb famous for inventing the pipe cleaner? Okay. Famous for inventing the Brillopad. Oh, how funny. Or famous for being the first publicly elected mayor of Charlotte, North Carolina.

Okay. I'm locked. Are you? Wow. I am not. I'm locked, but I'm locked, to be fair, with the correct answer. So we have inventing the pipe cleaner, inventing the brillo pad,

Charlotte, North Carolina, and then creating toys to be played with by deaf, Kids? Correct. Interesting. So two people were clearly on the same path here. We've got pipe cleaners and brittal pads. Maybe. Milton.

Well, what do you mean two people were on the same path? Well, I mean, one of those could be right. That's what I mean. Yeah, one could be right, and the other person was on the right track. Right, right. Milton? Lobe. Correct. Milton Lobe.

Okay. I'm, oh. All right. I'm in. I'm locked. I'm locked. I'm locked. We'll go ahead and start with Mike this time.

Pip cleaner. Milton, come on. Well, the name like Milton, you're making a pipe cleaner. I don't believe in any of the inventors. I'm going with the publicly elected official. Okay, you're going, and then I went with the inventor. I went with the brillo pad. Andy is correct.

Milton Loeb invented the brillo pad. Mike, you selected pipe cleaner. That is correct. That was Andy's answer. Yep. So you were on the right track. Jason, you said. selected Mike's answer, the publicly elected mayor. Oh, baby.

Which means no one selected mine, which, to be fair, my Milton lobe was Milton Bradley toys and lobe like an ear. Oh my God. Creating toys for deaf kids. Oh my gosh. Yes, it was, wasn't it? Now we know the, yeah, you can see right through me. Mariachi and Milton Lobe toys for people with earlobes that don't work. I definitely started down the path of a Milton Bradley something, but then I thought, no, no one is stupid. So what's the score right now through two rounds? We got Mike leading the way with four, Andy right behind him with three, and Jason with one.

All right. Let's go. Is there like a final double round points thing? Not in this game. That's stupid. We are moving on to the acronym. All right. I need to know what this stands for.

The acronym is P-T-B-A. P-T-B-A. P-T-B-A. Okay. All right. Does that stand for part-time business association? All right, hold on. Hold on.

Part-time. Business. Business association. Okay. Parent-teacher Bologna Association. What? What? I'll just write down Bologna.

Okay. Princeton Town Bowling Association. Princeton Town. bowling. That's a good one. Okay. Or proud to be Australian. Proud to be...

Please be Jason's answer. Australian. Part-time business association part parent-teacher baloney association, Princeton Town Bowling Association, or proud to be Australian.

Okay. Oh, boy. Proud to be Australian. I mean, that is, oh, man, it's tough because sometimes these are like, they are ridiculous and we have so much lying experience. I'm between two of them. Man, that is tough. Those at home play along with us.

All right. I think I am locked in. I'm locked. All right. We just need Mike. I know I'm wrong with all lock it. All right. Jason, you can be the first to reveal.

I'm going to, I really like the Prince and Town Bowling Association. That's my, I'm going to lock that one in. That's my lock too. And I know it's not right. That's an Andy answer. I am locked. If I ever heard one. I am locking proud to be Australian.

Mike, you're correct. That is an Andy answer. Yeah, baby. I got you both. Andy went with the Princeton Town Bowling Association. So he gets two points, one from each of you. And he also gets two points for correct. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Proud to be Australian. This game sucks. Dominating. Oh, baby. The, where it really. got you good. And he was, when he read out PTABA, I didn't remember what my answer

was. And I be somehow at bowling. Oh, really? So I was already like, oh, if I hear the word bowling, that's probably what it is. There you go. Yeah, because I think PBA is the professional bowling association. That would be, and the PTA is the

parent teacher association. Oh, yeah, Jason came up with a bologna. It tickled me. It tickled me so much. I was just like, I know this is bad, but parent-teacher-blowning Association just made me happy. It's no worse than proud to be Australia. Who's that? The real one. That was the real one. I got it right.

Oh, my gosh. All right. So we got Andy leading the way with seven. Two rounds left. Two rounds left. Seven to four to one. Jason, you're the one. All right. We're moving on to number one. The movie plot. I will give the name of the movie and you guys gave me the plot. Oh, this will be a tough one to keep track of. Okay. The name of the movie is Flame of Calcutta. Flame of Calcutta. Can't wait to see it.

All right. Is that movie The Tale of a Poor Craftsman who grew up in India's third largest city who, through endurance, managed to forge success for his family? Poor craftsman. Or is the Flame of Calcutta a talented dancer defying tradition to create a spicy new dance? Okay, dancer, spicy. Spicy. all right is it a woman pretends to be a guerrilla leader in the 1750s india i imagine it's like a gorilla yeah yeah but right the beginning of that g u e r r i l l a beginning of that was way better is read read that one again a woman pretends to be a gorilla leader in 1750s india okay all right lastly flame of calcutta is it a family run gem store comes across an extremely

valuable red stone that could save their business if they can sell it before the rightful owners find them. That's pretty good. Okay. That's pretty good. Oh, man. Oh, boy. For the, every single time, I am positive. I've got

the right answer. I'm positive. You got one point. I'm locked in. I am locked as well. I'm going to take my shot. Oh, gosh. Okay, I'm locked in. So we had the poor craftsman the dance the spicy dancer the gorilla leader in the gym store i am locking in the gorilla leader i am also locking in the gorilla leader i'm locking in the gorilla leader oh boy

you are all correct oh two points for everybody no one was coming up with that wow and now had she dressed up as a gorilla that would have been something else all right that round was a wash but i'm not at one point that's true not a watch for me we got nine And he has nine. You can't win. That is correct. Mike has six. Mike could come back.

Jason has three. All right. Final round? What is the... No, you could win. You could get up to four. Oh, yeah. That is true.

All right. We are moving on to the strange laws. I could still beat you. Oh, crap. All right. Strange law. All right. This law, I'll give you the first half and the second half is what you have to figure out.

All right. In Maryland, the state has banned the playing of band playing yeah playing of okay all right so in maryland the state has banned the playing of stairway to heaven okay all right no stairway or the state has banned the playing of the song short people by randy newman okay the state has banned the playing of bingo on sundays bingo on sundays or the state has banned the playing of dice in public restrooms restroom okay all right go through those one more time as we think about all right what does the state ban the playing of stairway to heaven the song short people by randy newman

bingo on sundays or dice in public restrooms okay well see there there are a lot of laws that are strange all around the country and um so one of these is true i am locked in i am pretty confident i you got it no i think i've lost in an incorrect answer. Oh, okay. But I am locked. Okay. Mike, go first.

The dice. Okay, the dice in public restrooms. Jason? I'm going to go short people. By Randy Newman. Okay. I am going to choose the actual right answer, which is bingo on Sunday. Okay.

The actual right answer, Jason got it. Short people by Randy New York. Good job. Jason, his answer was stairway to heaven. Mike's answer was bingo on Sundays. So you get a point, which he gets a point. Guess what mine was? Yeah. Dyson public restrooms.

So you also get a point. The final score, Andy has 10, Mike has seven, Jason has five. How do you ban a song? Wow. So you can't play it? Like on the radio? Good luck. I guess so.

Can't even sing it. In courtrooms. I mean, I understand that you don't want to listen to Randy Newman. All right. Well, that was our first ever run through of Ballardash. That was a good time. Yeah, I especially enjoyed the mariachi. It does appear that it says legislation was introduced to make it illegal to play short people on the radio.

Hmm. I don't like that. But I don't actually remember the song, so maybe I should like that. All right, moving on. The Spitballers Draft. all right, we are drafting famous robots for a battle royale, a battle royale. So, Jason, because you got that sweet scat started off, your robot scat, you get the first pick in our famous robot battle royale.

And for those that are just joining the show and haven't heard a battle royale draft in a while, we always draft something at the end of the show. And today is our special battle royal drafts where we have. are all in one Coliseum, and we battle against one another. So you're picking not just like the best robots, you're picking things that are going to help you in this war. Fight to the death. Yeah, there you go.

So for all my nerds out there, I think the nerds will know who to vote for because there is a true 101. I don't know if this is the poll winner or not, but the clear 101, the best famous robot to win in a battle, is vision. vision is the clear he is on my list and obvious superpower he is a superhero yeah he has

he has an infinity stone he does and he was created to beat and be better than the most powerful before him robot so like let's go I'm made to beat robots that's a pretty good answer

he was made to do that but that was in his universe and there's a lot of universes of robots that are being in entered into this Coliseum. Okay. What universe is yours going to be from? Oh, I know. Well, there's a lot of choices here. The one I'm going to go with is just a personal favorite. Okay. I also think it will be versatile in the Coliseum environment could potentially help some of my other robots later. R2D2. Optimus Prime. Yeah, I knew you were going to Optimus Prime. Did you mean? Oh, 100%. Now, why is that? Because you like Transformers. Yeah.

I used to have an Optimus prime behind me. Oh, there he is. Right there. Yeah. Hey, who doesn't like Transformers? Yeah. He's a gigantic robot. You don't like Transformers?

I never got into it. Why, you should have. You would have loved him. Oh, you guys are cat people. Never mind. Yeah, those cat people like Ninja Turtles. I'm taking Optimus, one, the voice is better than any of the robots out here. I would agree that the voice is great, and he will be like, oh, when I slice him in half with my laser beam from my forehead.

Oh, my gosh. All right. Well, look, I can also handle any of the shipping that needs to be done in the Coliseo with the big rig. You can take packages anywhere. With a pack. You know, yeah, anything. All right, Mike, you have two picks back to back. Okay.

So, let's see. We got Vision. It's a good pick. We got Optus Prime. It's a pick. You're such a loser. Look, we're going. We're going team size over here, boys.

So we're going to open it up. We're going to start with the Iron Giants. Okay. I thought that would come. I mean, he's a giant. He's a giant. He's a giant. That's a big plus in a fight.

Yeah. So in a fight when you have a gigantic robot, I think that's going to help me out. And then I'm going to go with a robot who I feel very confident I could wait. But I got to stick with the bit. of team size. I'm going to take Mecca Godzilla. Definitely on my list. Is it?

Oh, okay. All right. All right. Thank goodness. So is there a movie that Mecca Godzilla is in that I am not a. Yes. This is a fully robotic Godzilla. Yes.

Imagine a robot the size and strength and powers of Godzilla, but it's a robot. Right. Imagine Godzilla. Now call it a robot. That's what he does. He drafted Godzilla. Yes, I did. You have backed me into a corner with this next bit.

I am not fighting size with size. Oh. I am going to fight size with a robot so small that you mentioned them earlier. R2D2. I'm taking R2D2. Oh, yes. While the battle rages on. Oh, this is going to be a massacre.

Just. Okay, it is done. Let's hear this. While the battle rages on and you guys are, are, imagine. Beepo, beep, beep. Beep. Is that the death be? One, R2D2 never dies, never threatened.

He has the ability to program any of your robots. He just sticks his little, we need that data port thing in. Yeah, no, that doesn't have a data port. I would love to watch Mekidzilla stomp around trying to find R2. He's not going to be able to find him. He'll accidentally crush him. At least Vision can fly. I'm just flying up around Godzilla.

The question is, can Godzilla see the bottoms of his feet? Because then he's not going to know Eventually he'll find R2D2. It'll be when he scrapes it off of this. I have no apologies here. I'm taking the tiny R2D2 who will survive against all odds and shut you down.

Okay. All right. How are you doing there? I'm doing great. I didn't realize how easy this is going to be. Okay. So I've got vision the most powerful. And I'm going to take the second most powerful because I like how whatever he takes, they're the best.

Well, to be fair, in order. Yeah, this one isn't the best because this one was the best until vision existed. But I'm taking Ultron also from the Avengers universe who was about to, you know, destroy all of humanity unless he had vision. And I just hope they can get along because, you know, one was created to destroy the other. So your robot knowledge is so vast that it's just within one universe. So far, my robot is in one movie. It's in one movie. One single movie.

Cool, man. Cool. I mean, you're Ultron. Now you're competing for best voice. Oh, thank you. Yes, I am. That was James. What's the actor's name is today?

Woods. James. That sounds promising. Is this James Woods? It's not, but Ultron. Something like that. voice. So you have Vision and Ultron. What else from

that movie did you enjoy? I'm trying to find it. I could actually take more from that movie, but I'm not going to. Of course you could. You're the most Avengers loyalist ever. Jim Masekaman? No one cares. What? Give me your next pick, Jason. Yeah, I'll

look more into this. No. No. Okay. It's James Spader. Okay. That's a little. Okay. So my next my next pick is going to be just a classic. I mean you want a machine that is made to kill you're talking about the Terminator

and while Arnold gets the lore I'm taking the T-1000 baby. I'm a liquid metal I'm going to go ahead and shoot me I'll just reheal. I don't think you've got liquid nitrogen on you which is the only way I've found to kill a T-1,000 in all of your

extensive research. In all of my research. all of the documentaries I have watched on this topic. Now he was in the he was in the Avengers movie. Oh man. I wish. No, that's a great pick. I'm upset because I was definitely trying to save that one. But you wanted R2 T's

I think it would be respected in the polls. To be fair to T-1000, like he was outwitted and eliminated by a much older robot. You could argue that. Yeah, I mean you could, just factually speaking. Yeah, just the truth is that kind of like

older generation, a T-1-101? Like the Game Boy took down the PlayStation 5. Right. But if you're going to... You lost to a Game Boy, is what we're saying. Right. I think, you know, look, sometimes a bad NFL team beats the best NFL team. But if you play 100 games, you know who's going to win.

Okay. And it's vision. My pick here is, I'm going to go into... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you take two? He did. I did. Remember? T-1000 and Ultron. Ultron.

Yeah, okay. We're going into the video game universe now And we're taking Mega Man It's on my list Mega Man, Mega Man, Mega Man And I wanted it You know, I had to be 100% positive

Because my Mega Man lore is not As extensive as maybe Mike's is I had to be positive This is a robot Yes He was made to be a fighting robot By Dr. Light That is Mike is all over

Wow, what a nerd So yeah Yeah Mega Man A robot originally named Rock Nicknamed Mega in later installments. I did not know that part. But, yeah, I'm taking Mega Man.

The best part for Mega Man, should you happen to defeat someone? I mean, you now have their power. Beautiful. That is the rules of Mega Man. I knew that, totally. For real? Have you never played a Mega Man? I never played Mega Man.

The whole point of Mega Man is you have your character and you go. You defeat a boss. You defeat a boss and then you get their power. Mega Man can certainly take out R2D2. So he's going to be able to communicate really well. Hide your data ports. You're saying the first thing. coming in. First thing he does is shoot

my own teammate. For sure. All right. Mega Man's the pick, Mike. You got two selections to close it out. Okay. Man, I was open for Mega Man, but we're going to get whatever, man. We got to have

my team needs some morale. Got to have someone who's going to keep the spirits light. So I'm going and look, if anything needs to get the spirits light. Yeah, if anything needs to get bent, I got to take bender from Futurama. Oh, wow.

All right. If anything, he's on my list. If anything needs that if there's a piece of metal that's straight and needs bending. Oh my gosh. It is going to be absolutely taken care of. Did you feel like you could make that pick because Artu D2 is coming at you on the other side? But fellas, hold on to your horses because I'm going to finish this one out with things.

Things just don't go the way that they're planned for this guy, but it always works out in the end, and he just stumbles, bumbles his way into victory. And I will take Inspector Gadgett. Oh, man. I did think about it. It's on the list. Oh, man. He's not on my list, but I don't, I don't completely hate it.

He does stumble and bumble. Like, how do I fight Vision who is the most powerful Ruppah clearly? Yeah. Inspector Gadgett just falls over and somehow Vision slices himself. It's funny because you combine the universes and you think about how the battle would really start. Inspector Gadget's head has getting chopped off like five seconds into this battle. No way.

He's pulling out his helicopter. This is like when we did, I think we did a superhero battle royale and I drafted Domino from, because in the end, you're just going to need some luck to win. So I don't hate that. My final pick, I will make sure I have some stature. I mean, Mega Man's little, R2D2's little. Optimus Prime is a big rig. So I'm going to go with Voltron.

Oh. I'm going to go with Voltron, the immense combining. Not to be confused with Ultron. No, this is Voltron. Now, Voltron had like multiple machines that came together to create. That is correct. Yeah. So I kind of cheated.

I drafted like five machines combined into one, Voltron, the super robot. But the machines on their own are pretty useless. Which is why I drafted Voltron. Right, according to the episodes where they could never get it done. Because they could have just gotten it done with the machine. But they're like, oh, crap. We got to combine them. We need Voltron again.

I did always wonder why they didn't just start combined. You know, like that was kind of the Power Rangers, too. Oh, 100%. Megasorts. Yeah, it's the same thing. What was the Earthwind fire? Captain Planet? Just start with the superhero.

You know, you could do this, right? Just like maybe stop the crime earlier by just combining forces. You could have saved millions of people died. You could have saved all their lives if you just got the superpower in right away. There you go, Jason. You get to close it out. Vision, Ultron. T1,000, if you want to stick to just two movies, you can draft T101.

Oh, man, I could do that and win in this poll easily. But instead, because of your guys' weak picks, I'm able to take a character that I think most people won't know. It's a phenomenal pick. Just so you're aware. Just so you're aware, super duper powerful. We're talking an S-class hero here. I'm taking Genos from One Punch Man.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, baby. So powerful, but nobody will know who Genos is. No, I didn't even know the name until you said One Punch Man. Now I know what you're talking about. No idea what that is. Look, I don't worry. Ceducer's Alley, no idea, right?

No, no. No, just a wasted pick. 99% of our listeners will not know who this is. I'm here for the nerds. You, hey, I respect it. The nerds will take R2D to and prop me up in the polls. I don't know. No.

Anyone that knows who vision is. You have mainstream nerds. He's got like cool nerds. Right. Yeah. I got the inside knowledge nerds with special knowledge. He's trying to get dapped up by the nerd community. Some honorable mentions as we close it out.

Jason has Vision Ultron T-1000. Yeah. I was a son. Body. Because everyone in their cars was doing that. We all should. All three of us, we looked at each other like, no, we let that opportunity go. Anyways, continue somewhat.

Mike has Iron Giant Mechagodzilla, Bender, and Inspector Gadget. I have opted to Prime R2D2 Mega Man and Voltron. And a couple other ones on the list that I threw on there was Robocop. Yeah. Number six, which would have been a great pick. Who's number six? Yeah, some nerd. We're talking Cylon.

Oh, okay. Now you know number six. I forgot about BSD entirely. Yeah, I want BSG, Mike. Not Battlestar Galactica, nerd alert. Oh, my gosh. So, and, you know, if somebody took Optimus, I was going to go for Megatron. Yeah, I've got Megatron.

I'm surprised none of us took with, you know, we've got a drop for it. Gigantor? Oh, yeah, he is a robot, huh? Gigantor. Is that like an old 60s? Yeah, probably even older. I've got armored Baymax. Did you bring up Robocop?

Yes, Andy. Yeah, Baymax was on the list. um you could do astro boy and then uh i had the sentinel from the x-men and we're talking the cartoon where they're the gigantic ones i will take the sentinels from the matrix you could do them too all right what did we learn today you're jason's a super nerd oh i learned that jason hates his dog like i don't think it's a bit I think he eats his dog. This is a moment.

If anyone wants this dog. I mean, send him an email. I learned that I'm really not good at Ballardash. Why, you got to take the slightly higher hanging fruit on the definition. Myriarches. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballerspod.com. Thank you.

Thank you.