Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Light Mode Psychos & The Ultimate Backyard - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

The Spitballers are back with another must listen episode. The Ducers strike back in this episodes Would You Rather, We Know History makes its return and we wrap things up with a draft of the Ultimate Backyard setup. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop. I don't know if this came. I don't know if it came through an audio. I don't think it came through. I just hit myself really hard. That's what I was going to say.

I don't know, especially in the audio. It didn't work. I'll make sure it himself. I'll make sure. So hard. The audio might not have told the tale. Please go watch this. I was trying to give you one of those on YouTube.

You slapped yourself like you were your enemy. Yeah. I know exactly. I was committed to the bit. You challenged yourself to a duel. What happened was Mike started it with the bark, you know, and then he realized it really needed something.

Oh, no, I knew where I was going. And so where his normal mouth. Yeah. I don't even know how to do that. He hit his mouth. You got to do it harder. I noticed he slapped the crap out of himself twice for one of the greatest scouts of all time. So welcome into the spitballers episode 369.

Would you rather? We know history. One star. And we've got also a draft. We're drafting the perfect backyard, which is an awesome draft. I think that's really fun because we're at a stage of life now where it's like, this is like. Is that a big deal for you? Well, it's like stuff we actually.

want. Yeah, like you think about your backyard. Yeah, sometimes we're drafting, you know, things that are purple and that's fine, but it's like I don't care that much about things that are purple. I think about my backyard, what I want in there, what I wish I had. If I had, you know, all the space and time and money to just do, you know, snap my fingers and have a perfect backyard, well, we get to do that today. All right, we'll kick it off with some would you rather.

Would you rather? Would you rather live in an advanced technological future, but the entire world is at constant war, or live in the 1700s, but the world is at perfect peace? So basically, convenience with danger or peace with convenience? Wait, without convenience, sorry. I like the idea of you having any idea what's happening in the world in the 1700s. Right, like, I'm sure there's peace on the other side of this flat. You're like, you know what I know about? Just.

This country mile. I was going to say this street, but it's not. It's a field. Like, if you're thinking about, like, the, the, the colonizing of America, it was like, do you, where, it wasn't streets. But as the eye can see. Yeah, it was like, I have this land. You go over there. To the horizon.

You'll come to you when I need cabbage. But the thing is, is, is, is, if the world is at peace in the 1700s, what that really means is you aren't at war. Because nobody's coming up to burn your farm down. Exactly. You live in peace. Yours is going to be, you're at perfect peace, but you are at war with things like germs. You are at worm. You're at war with worms.

You're at war with worms. You're at war with dysentery. You're at war with any disease at that time. You cut yourself on a rock. That's a 50-50. Yeah, it might be the end. That could be it. You know, you're saying these things, I think, to build up one side.

but this is a very easy decision. I can't fathom saying I would rather live in a great, like the question is worded this way. Advanced technological future where the entire world is at war. I still don't know your answer. That means, no, you can't live in that. You're hiding from the robots. That's basically all your, your life is, okay, tomorrow, snap your fingers,

AI has taken over, they've got robotics, you are. Nobody is more afraid of robots and wants to buy one than you. Well, for sure. You want to buy them. Is it because you think they'll bite for you? No, they're going to kill me. I know that. Nobody is going to be more first in line.

Yes. For a robot than Jason Moore. So this is actually true. You might have deposits down. I could literally pass a lie detector test. You probably will have the first one. You might be the first story. You're going to be the first robo murder.

Be the first, yeah, I'll be the first death. And that's fine. That's fine. That's fine. I'm fine with that because you are we will all be robo murdered okay so get mine out of the way I don't have to live in your Your murder is coming when you ask it to do something a human should easily do Yours is going to be like get the mail and it slits your throat with a piece of the mail I don't believe that I don't believe that be like get me my shoes from where sir from three feet away and the robot's going to go

This is an embarrassment. Sir you don't deserve to be alive squish my face yeah this is what I believe Squish my face. I believe that we will have a golden age of robots where every home has... Like bicentennial man? I don't know the reference, but every home or the majority of homes will have robots. It will be a life of abundance and I think that will happen. But I do actually think AI will eventually be unstoppable and uncontrollable and will take over.

So would I rather live the time in between? with the robots, yes, even knowing they will be our overlordes. Can we get real with Jason right now? I'd love to believe your, you know, your Jules Verne predictions of the future. But Jason, you were the guy that said the 3D TV was taken over. You've been wrong once or twice. You were positive. Everyone in their house would be rocking 3D movies.

I've got two famous things I was wrong about. Yes, you do. But yes, you do. And one was TV. Yes, and one was the 3D movies. TV. And let me tell you, I hope it turns into three. I really hope it turns into three things. Let me set the record straight. I really hope I'm wrong about the destruction of humanity. Yes. Let it be known. I want, I want that out there. I'm willing to take the L and be known as the guy who was your

wrong about twice. So, yes, I do, I don't necessarily think that we will like go to terminate. 2-style war with robots, but I don't think we'll control AI. I think it will us. So you want to live in the 1700s? I would absolutely choose to live in a 17-Lyth. See, that's porch-life, man. I want porch-life. But you also have to farm.

No. I know. It's a lot of work. It's going to be a lot of work. There ain't no grocery store. That's true. That's true. I mean, I hope it's in a nice area. Can I talk about eating by a river in the 1700s? Yeah, yeah. Talk to me about. Yeah, yeah.

From your visits? No, not my, my visits to my backyard. I've built, so here's a deal. I have built a chicken coop. I have chickens. This is true. I get eggs. I have built a really nice garden.

Did you use 1700s only tools? No, we have, we have an automatic timer. I have hired out. I have, this is as nice as I know can happen in where I'm living. And we've had it now for probably. a year and a half this garden. We've had a couple of ears of corn. A handful of singular. Handfuls of tomatoes. Handfuls. Handfuls. Um, so you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

I've had this thing for a year and a half. You need more room. I'm so, I've got you have a large beds of vegetation and you need four acres of vegetation. We can't, you can't, you can't survive on this. No, no, no, you haven't been eating from the garden. I'll tell you what, my basil, my time my herbs are on point. I can season my meal great with my garden. You can season your air. But that meal is coming from sprouts. That's not coming from my backyard. It's impossible. How did people, how did people survive in the 1700s? Well, you got to go out and get yourself a buffalo or five. Oh, that buffalo would kill me. I don't think of, yeah, you need a cow. Well, no, I'm saying you got to shoot them. Oh, you got to butcher them. Yeah, but you got to go eat the

meat. You got to catch some rabbit. You can only carry 200 pounds. I know that is a fact. The historical documents. That is a fact. You just have to leave the rest of the 2,000 pounds of meat just there to rock. That was always so frustrating. Is there a chance you choose the 1700s one and you wish you were dead from war? 100%. 100%. I think we look back. Oh, what I wouldn't get for some more right now. We're like, we look back and like, I romanticize it the simpler time of life of like, man, there's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's just the hullabaloo of modern society. Wouldn't it be nice to just all you had to do was grow your food?

No. But is there even a chance? More money and more problems, guys. Is there a chance you win the war against an advanced technological? No. Yeah, there's no way we win that war. That war never ends. All you hope is that the war doesn't come to you during your lifetime, that it's somewhere around you.

Yeah. But I mean, you're right, Mike. We romanticized it for sure. But I do romanticize it. to emanacize the ignorance of those people. To the outside world. Sure. The fact like Jason said,

if I can't see it over the mountain top, it ain't happening. The world's nice. We do all the same for our childhood. We're like, man, remember how great it was and you had to drive to Blockbuster? We do forget.

And then you, okay, rewind, go back to you like, we have to drive all the way to Blockbuster? Yeah, we suck. You just can't be happy. No. Yeah. So, yeah, there it is. Give me not war.

I'll take 1700s. Best case, I have a nice peaceful time. Worst case. I die young and am happy. Yeah. But it's real long. Well, you die of starvation because I'm telling you, you can't farm food. It's not a fast death.

1700s was, it was a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. That was, okay. I can picture 1800s. I can't picture 1700s that way. Well, no, if you think about 1776, you can see like the, you think about the, you yeah, that's true.

the foundation of America. But there's no war. Basically, the musical Hamilton. If you think about that, you know that was in the duels. Well, there would be duels. No, no war. That's not war. Okay.

That's part of peacetime. A gentleman's war. A challenge you to a duel. Would you rather work at a place where you have to request all of your vacation time through a website? Oh, yes. Oh, my. My goodness gracious. Oh, tell me you haven't proofread the doc without telling me you haven't proof read the doc.

So ladies and gentlemen. Continue, Andy. Continue reading the question. Would you rather work at a place where you have to request all of your vacation time through a website with no dark mode? Or, uh-oh. Or work at a place where you are loudly and publicly ridiculed for the tiniest mistake. Oh, this is a great question. This is a great question.

This is coming from, I'm guessing, Al in Arizona. Oh, my goodness. So we have implemented in our workplace a new vacation request system. Oh, my God. To track things. I feel like ownership is getting shamed for having a more organized structure to actual time off. Tell me, have we denied ever a request off through the system? Currently, let's just, let me read.

Yeah, yeah, what's about to happen. The website's going to be shut down. I'm on request. Let me read you some statistics. You want the statistics? Oh, yeah. Let's fight fire with fire. Let's go.

2026 requests. Okay. 49 requests for time off. Oh, I love it. Honestly, surprised at the quantity for the speed and what happened. I mean, come on. This is a small group. Hold on, hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. 49 requests. I just want, because look, this is an ever. screen show just for the listeners at home. We are halfway through. Not even. 2026. Not halfway through.

Yeah, June 11th. 49 requests record setting. Yeah. Days approved. You want the number? Yeah. I'm afraid. You want to take a guess?

No, 60. Mike? No, I'm not even going to guess. 139 days approved. Do we pay them for workoff? Correct. I believe so. Okay, hold on.

Days denied. That's the P of the PTO. Days denied. Days the night. Zero. Oh, man. Those are some nice spots. Hey, can we get just a...

All in light mode. Amongst the people in this room, I'm just curious if you've got the data. Oh, I do. We got a leaderboard? I think we do have a leaderboard. Oh, you bring this question to the table. You get roasted. You ready?

Yeah. So who do we have in the office? Right now we got the Falcon, who I don't think is put through his two-week request yet. No, I mean, I got... I got Al Bonin and Papa Josh. This is the perfect twist that and turn it to you. This is wonderful. We got a tie.

Oh. Oh. I don't even know who a tie. Oh, they're ready to side five. Get out of here. Al Borland and Papa Josh are tied with 13 days off. Okay. So that doesn't even count.

The Falcon is way ahead. No, because he hasn't even. I know. No, he's just for the following year. Yeah. Okay. So this is the rest of this year. Yeah.

of this year. Okay. All right, that's fair. He does have his honeymoon scheduled for 11 business days off. Yeah. Which, man, we, we approved them all. Yeah, because we approved the heck out of them. This was for organization. This wasn't for shame. But you bring a question like this, we're going to shame. Oh, that was, that was a devious question. So let's take the record setting. Let's take the second part of this question, which makes, I don't know where this comes from. Yeah. Or a place where you are loudly and publicly ridiculed for the tiniest mistakes. Now, that's the place I wouldn't want to work. Really? I don't know. That sounds like a place where they get stuff done. Well, I guess if I was paid there, I would. Right. But not for free.

No. Also, you, you, light mode. Light mode. Yeah. Thank you for getting to the meat of this question. Dark mode, get out of it. No, I, look. Burn, why don't you just take the text and burn it into my retinas so weird because I am.

So that I can see it for hours and hours and hours after I read it. You two are weird with your light mode only. You have to understand the entire society has moved to a light and dark alternate. No, no, no, no, no. I go with whatever the platform says. We had it. I'm not all dark mode. I'm light during the day and dark during the night.

We had it all figured out. And then some sort of millennial hipster shows up and they're like, I need the opposite of this, though. That's what you guys are. And then it'll be twigin hipsters back there. It'll be breakfast mode. You're like, well, why couldn't I customize it? I need, I want my font green. Like, no, this is what it is.

Alien mode. Light mode is better. Light mode is better. It's normal. It's regular. So you have your show doc up right now. What mode is it? Oh, light mode for sure.

I click the button. I'm in dark mode out. Don't you love me? Well, that's because I'll default it to dark mode. I didn't know there was a tab. Welcome to light mode show dog. Oh, you just turned it to light mode? Yeah, I can see it's so much better.

I will not answer this question. What is wrong with? I will not answer this question. I don't, you light mode. weirdos. You turn your night shift on at night too, baby eyes? I will say this. I do. Is it the blue light? Can I deny some of these? Yeah. You can go back in a red. Okay, here's a new what would you rather. Would you rather cancel?

It's not my five energy drinks. No, that's a good question. Would you rather? Would you rather cancel company days off? New Year's Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, or Christmas? Which two do you want to cancel? I saw. Would you rather cancel Christmas or New Year's? I saw some kind of study or something that was done talking about how like the closer you are to people, the more that you make fun of them, like groups that make fun of each other are happier with each other. That's a fact.

And so I would much rather work in a place where you are loudly and publicly ridiculed for tiny little things because that means that means you're close. That's love. Because, or you're working for an absolute monster. The real question is who's been made fun of the least here? Because I'd be concerned. Oh, that's a great question. I'd be very concerned.

Now, are we including programmers here? Because they don't really make the show often enough. No, they're more robots. Right. Right. So of the wall. I feel like it's pretty dark fair. Yeah, we're, it's, we're equal opportunity self-esteem destroyers.

Yeah, man. We should really, we should get a leaderboard going. for... Don't you feel the most loved Al sometimes? Sometimes I do. I wonder how they think. Do you all think that you are the most ridiculed? Because I wonder if that's how it comes across. I don't think I'm the most riddles. Okay, okay, I want to, let's go to the

doucers. I think Papa Josh might feel the most loved. Let's go to the deusers. I want, I want to know genuinely from each of you. Who do each of you think is the most ridiculed? So, hey! Oh, they all think Papa Josh. And so does Papa John. Okay. Okay. Now by show of hands with pointing from the deuceers alley. Who is the ugliest ducer? Oh, yeah. Oh, get out of here. Get out of here. Jeremy. You don't think that.

We've got Falcon pointing at Josh. Josh pointing at himself. Yeah. And Al pointing at himself. Yeah, because he's just trying to get out of it. We're learning a lot. I think you're all three beautiful. Well, the Falcon said they're not the deusers. They're the seducers back there. The seducers. That's what the Falcon said. All right. That was the greatest question we've ever had to answer.

It was great. And it got me so good. Because I just... This is a brand new system. I just read it, man. At the end of the day, my show doc is now in light mode. And that would not have happened without this question. We got time for one more hour.

Can I get this default? Let's do one. I assume you put that in there. It was actually a lunch table discussion. Oh, my God. Well, great job. We have the best team. I'm a little more consistent.

concerned with that answer. We have the best team. That was a great question. Would you rather have a gravel and concrete backyard with zero plants? Okay, this will set the table. We're doing the draft. It'll set the table for the backyard. But we're going to give away picks. Do you want me to skip this one now or is it safe? I thought it was safe, but if you want to go to a different one, there's more in there. I think it's more of a thematic thing, Mike. I think it'll work. Would you rather have a

gravel and concrete backyard? So that's not a lot with zero plants, but a pool and a lazy river in the middle of it. So it's like just dirt and pool. Okay. Or a lush green pitcheress backyard with no patio or a pool. Oh, this is very easy for me. And I think that it will be very easy for everyone and I think we'll be on different sides. Pool. Pool for sure.

And it's not the pool. Yeah, see, exactly. But it's easy, right? It's an easy decision. At that point, you're just looking through your windows. I have. Because you can't go out there without a patio or a pool. I've had a yard.

Okay. That was, I mean, it had like the default track home builder patio. So I had that. but then it just had pool. And the other half of the yard was completely destroyed. Right. And you, did you use the pool in the summer? Yes, I did.

Okay. It's not great. No, I know it's not great. But I guess I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, in this situation, you don't have a patio either. You can't go outside without the sun hit in your face. I had a backyard. You can't even have a cup of coffee without the sun hit in your face. Okay, I was just a reminder that when you're in your sun or when you're in the pool, the sun will be blasting.

I know. I'm just thinking if you don't have a pool and you don't have a patio, can you use your backyard at all? Neither one of these are-in Arizona. Neither one of these are perfect, obviously, which is why the question exists. But I have had, if it's lush, I've got shade. I had a house where- That's a good nuance. We spent a lot of money in the backyard, and we had this, like, lush. We talked to the landscape where we wanted it to feel like we were at a resort. We had some palm trees.

We had elevation and a little sunken fire pit, a barbecue. What, we're just doing all the draft picks for the... No, I mean, look. So I didn't want to the question. No, like we don't know what's in a backyard, Mike? The people don't know. They've never been. And after we got this made, we never used it.

We just never went and sat outside in the backyard. But when we had a different house that was basically what you're describing where the backyard's small, but we got a pool, it just takes up the whole pool. We swam all the time. It was actually, in the summer. It was actually used. I don't think here you just want I don't want to go sit under a nice tree in my backyard

Honestly if the trees You're describing a normal amount of happiness No but like if I was going to a cabin And I'm in a forest and I sit outside in nature That's different than just I've got a lush backyard I'm going to go sit in my backyard Look how beautiful How beautiful can a backyard be?

Now you're just losing me man Yeah You're losing me So you think you can have a beautiful enough backyard to just want to sit in it. Yeah. Really? What about presentation, too? If you're having people over for dinner and they look outside and there's just this barren land. You look at a lazy river. Just this barren land with some water.

Some water, some water flowing in a river. No one's going to think you completed the job. If you have a lazy river in a pool and nothing else. But they're still going to want to get in my lazy river. I mean, a lazy river is possibly a pick today. It's February, Jason. It's heated. It's a lazy river. Jordan.

You think, you think I'm building. the lazy river that I can only use half the year. You have a third mortgage to eat your pool? It's hot cocoa, actually. It's not water. Now that the, the, Arizona is a strange place because you, you, you need a pool. You have to have access to water

in the summer. And yet, a pool, when you're, when you're younger, it's different. But once you get, you know, old enough to be crotchety and complain, a pool is really usable from about June till

maybe early September Yeah And then the rest of the time It does it comes to mind How much money I spend to maintain it Oh yes For the limited amount of use A pool

I've heard the phrase A pool is a lot like a boat Yeah You just want to know someone who has one Yeah As opposed to having your own It's fair Because it takes

But no there's far more time here So you guys are on different sides And I have now been moved To the picture rest back yet In Arizona, there's no way you can live without a pool. So I will go pool. Okay. All right.

We'll take a break. We'll come back with another game. I will use your pool. What time is it? Game time. All right. We are playing the second ever edition of We Know History, which might be, it might be my favorite again. How many rounds do we play?

We play five. We shoot for five. Oh, this is even better. It'll be super fun. Last time we did four and a year. warm-up round, so we can either do four or five. So this is very fun to play along with us at home. Each round, there are four things that have happened in the history of mankind.

And our job on this show is to put together those four items in the order that they actually happened because we know history. Yeah, we do. That's one of the things we know. We know. You know metals and we know history. Yeah, and we know history so well. And so you listen here to know how to chronologically view it.

I have read round one. Yeah, it's very tough. We are in big trouble. So are we in big trouble? Some of these are. I thought one of these was by the pyramid. I don't know. All right.

Round one, guys, let's play. Let's go. And by the way, one point for every event you have in the right slot. And then if you nail all four, you get a bonus point for five total. So you get them all in the right order. You get a bonus point. Round one. The introduction of sliced bread.

Got it. The introduction of Oreo cookies. Okay. The introduction of McDonald's. Oh, my gosh. And the introduction of Coca-Cola. Oh, my goodness. Classic?

Extra classic. I imagine it is the original Coke. I'm not going to give you classic or not just original invention of Coca-Cola. Now, round one, in order, I have mine. I know you guys are working on it, but

so the introduction of slice bread, Oreos, McDonald's and Coke in order, we do need to lock in before we announce. We'll take turns announcing first. My order is on my boogie board. Mine is well. I'm really not sure about one and two. And so since we're playing all these rounds, we'll just rotate who says it first, but we all have them locked in.

I will start with I think the fur, oh my gosh, I feel dumb now already. I'm going to go. We'll go real quick for everyone, a reminder. Introduction of McDonald's. Yeah. Oreos, sliced bread, Coca-Cola. I am going number one Coke, number two bread, number three, McDonald's, number four Oreos.

All right. We have a difference of opinion. I went number one, Coca-Cola. Oh. Oh, okay. Then Oreos. Okay. Then bread.

then McDonald's. Okay, are you keeping track of all this, Al? Yep. I am. Oh, I put me down for five points. I feel bad immediately. I am kind of in the, I'm like between you guys. We're all starting Coca-Cola.

Oh, boy. I think that was first. Then I went, then I went sliced bread, Oreo, and McDonald's last. Oh, so me and you have the first two, and then we just flipped our last two. Yes. Man. What is the true answer? I feel like I got bread to McDonald's backwards.

What's the answer in history here? You, in fact, did not get anything wrong, Mike. and you got five points. Yes! Game over, baby! It's done. Andy ended up getting only Coke right, so he got one point and Jason got two points. Yes.

So McDonald's and Coke were right. Read Mike's order because I hate him. It was Coca-Cola, Oreos, sliced bread, McDonald's. Yes. And so that's, we just had Oreos wrong. Go with your gut, everybody. I think it was about bread. Bread was sliced later than you think.

Yes. I'm going to give you the years because we had a comment last time. How can we not figure out of slice something? That's what... This should be 1700s. Yes. Coca-Cola, 1886. So we all got that right.

Oreos 1912. That's crazy. Slice bread 1928. That's what... McDonald's, 95. Okay, so I just got Oreos on. I knew McDonald's was like in the 50s. It's not over.

There's five rounds like it ain't over. There's plenty of time. But no, there's not. The, the 1928 sliced bread is such a weird thing because the others are like companies. whereas slice bread is just doing something it's like someone sliced bread but you need the you need the machinery

to do it I mean being like sold sliced bread it's kind of like bottled water people used to bottle water but they didn't sell bottled water until it like in a grocery store until it's way so late by the way you can now ask for time off with dark mode it's done um all right

we got it done round number two give in I was just a couple lines of code. Um, round two. Here are the four things that happened. Put them in order. The game boy was released. Oh, this is going to be a Mike special. I know. The Tetris was released. Oh, I don't know this crap. Donkey Kong was released. And Pong was released. So we got a four video games special.

I need a qualifier. Oh, my gosh. Donkey Kong, the arcade game? Stand by. Oh, Mike. Mike, no. this so well. I mean, I have mine based on... I've got mine pretty sure. Yes, arcade game. Okay.

Oh, man. Oh, that makes me... That one is a problem for me, too, because my brain was going to basically, like... Not Atari, but first Nintendo Kong. Right. And that's different, right? Because everything else is a system, so...

But I guess... All right, well, Mike gets to read them first. I feel pretty underwater here. So it's Tetris, Donkey Kong, Game Boy, Pong. I'm still filling out my order. You guys already have yours? We do. I do.

But, I mean, if you want to tell me yours, I totally won't copy it. Okay. I'm going to go with my gut again. Go ahead. So we got, I'm going, Pong, DK, Donkey Kong, Tetris, Game Boy. That is what I have. Pong Kong, Tetris, Game Boy. I have Pong Kong.

Pong, Kong. Game Boy Tetris. Jason and Mike both got five points. Oh my gosh, I'm the best in this game. Andy got two points. Oh, man. I'm a loser. I thought Tetris came out on Game Boy.

It did, but they had to secure the rights for a game that already existed. Okay. All right. So we had Pong in 72, Donkey Kong in 81, Tetris in 84, Game Boy in 89. Oh, that's a bit five-year difference. What's funny is I had Tetris and Donkey Kong reversed until Mike asked. Until Mike said his. No, no, I'm just kidding.

What Mike said. It was, it was Mike's doing. Erase, erase, erase. But it was once you said it was the arcade version. Because originally I was thinking like the first console. Yeah. But I, but the question. Oh, you had Kong wrong?

I, I thought, I had it Tetris and then Donkey Kong until Al said, this is the arcade version of Donkey Kong, which I assume came way before a console. So I have some coming back to do in this battle. We got Mike with 10 points. Jason with seven, Andy with three. Oh, boy. 10, 7, 3.

We still got time. This is why five rounds works, but I'm going to lose. All right, round 3. Oh, my gosh. The debut of Star Trek. Okay. I'm going to try a new strategy here. Okay.

Number two, the Beatles first appear on the Ed Sullivan show. Oh, my gosh. Number three, the opening of Disneyland. And number four, Hawaii becoming a state. Oh, man. That one. See, I've got a, my strategy has failed me. Because these items, these events are very close together.

Oh, dude. One of them's not. So this is, um, man, man, this is tough. I'm going to go, man, I think I'm not first. So I'm going to just go right. I guess I'm first, right? But just, I'm not locked. I wish I knew the answer to one of these.

All right, I got my list, and this is where I got to make up some hay, man. This is, this is wide open. But I am frightened. How are you doing, Mike? Are you locked? No, I have my list. I'm locked, and it is, this feels like very shameful to be an American. You're two for two so far on the five points.

So, Jason, you get to read your locked lists first, lucky guy. Dude, the Hawaiian becoming a state. Hawaii is everything for this list. It is. And I feel like you want to say that that was forever ago, but I know it was the 50th, right? Or was it Alaska? I don't know. We were 48. Don't compound your idiocy. Go ahead. Read it. Read it. I know Disneyland is first because they've celebrated 100 years. So number one. Then I'm going to Hawaii. Then I'm going on Trek. Then I'm going Beatles. I don't like when part of you reading your list is proving why I'm wrong in some of my. I will say I have nothing to do with Jason's list.

I have Hawaii first, Disney, 2, Star Trek, 3, Beatles, 4. I went Hawaii, Disney, Biedel's Star Trek. So we and you're similar. The Disneyland is not 100 years old, by the way. No, they can't be. They're celebrating their home. They're in like 70 or 75 right now. All right, maybe you're wrong.

Maybe we're wrong, Mike. Andy finishes the round with zero points. Oh, no. Oh, no. That means Hawaii's not first. Jason and Mike both got two points. They just got them in different. Okay.

Okay. Well, no, we'll take that. We'll take that. Utter disaster. I'm removing dark mode from the employee portal. All right. What is the correct order? The correct order is Disneyland.

Yes, thank you. 1955. Didn't celebrate 100. Hawaii. Yet. Hawaii became the 50th state in 1959. That's so insane. When was Disney's first year?

55? 55. So I just had Trek and Beatles backwards. Okay. And I had Disney, Hawaii backwards. Beatles, 1964 on the Ed Sullivan show. And Star Trek debuted in 1966. I knew Hawaii was my bugaboo.

My strategy was to write the decades next to him. And like all my decades were right and my order was completely wrong. This one was the tightest one of all of them as far as the grouping. Gosh, dang it. So I am done. The next one, you're going to have a lot more breathing room. I don't care. I'm done.

Well, you got to just hope that Mike and I know nothing about history. But the problem is, we, we must know everything. History. So what is it, like a hundred to seventy-five to two? It's any of two people's game. Okay, it's Mike with 12, Jason with nine, and Andy with three. It was so cruel the way that you said Andy has got. And then I thought you were going to say like five points.

I loved it. Yeah, well done. Round number four. Columbus Sales to the Americas. Okay. Oh, man. Isn't there a song where I'm supposed to know this? But we're not going to talk about it.

Wait, what are the lyrics? Oh my gosh. So Columbus? Okay. Sales to the Americas. Number two is the signing of the Magna Carta. I just read all four of these. This is a pure guess from me.

I'm like, if you put these in a hopper, I just should, I should write it down the order I'm reading it. I don't even know. And the Magna Carta, we all know what that is, Jason. It's an important document. Number three, the invention of the printing press. Okay. um that was gudenberg right um and number four steve guddenberg yes jobs guddenberg number four the painting of the monolith this is unfair this is wild wild so Columbus

sales the ocean blue and something two oh I need the I need the first three digits um we'll be a shame if you didn't know them okay so the invention of the printing press obviously Well, I guess. So he's really working at it. I know 1776 is the year that America was formed and Columbus came obviously well before that. So I've got a little bit of a barometer. Any time before that. Anytime.

From zero to 1775. Well, two. He knows there's a two. So anywhere from year two. Right. Because it could have been Columbus sailed the ocean blue and zero zero zero two. Right? Like, yeah.

That works. It could be. It could be. Oh, my gosh. This is redonguel. It's not easy for us either, Jason. Oh, man. Man, man, man, man.

I've got mine lock, but man, they're not good. This is where I'm telling you guys, I'm going to get four for four here. Oh, you will. You will. Who's the first one? Me? Yeah. I believe that's correct.

Yeah, yeah, you're up. Okay. I have my list. I'm locked. I've got Magna Carta 1, Columbus 2, Press 3, Mona 4. I'm going. Wait, wait, say that again. Magna Carta 1, printing press, or sorry, Columbus 2, printing press 3, Mona Lisa 4.

Are you the complete opposite? I am, I have no matches. Oh, good. I'm Columbus. That's my best chance of coming back. Columbus, yeah, Magnacarta, Mona Lisa, printing press. Oh, man. I'm, uh, we're going to get some different points here.

I'm starting with Columbus as well. Okay. Then I'm going printing press. Then the Magna Carta, then Mona Lisa. So, owl. This is embarrassing. Dude, I think Magna Carta was first. Magnacarta was first.

Boom. Buy a lot. By a lot. It's 1210 or 1215. Oh, I, so. Wait, did you just Google it? Oh, yeah, after. After. I mean, I was just like, I may, let me tell you what I googled.

Okay. What is the Magna Carta? That's what I googled. 1,500 is in my head. My process, just so everyone knows. Crap. Is I thought, well, this is an American document sign, so it's got to be after Columbus. It's not an American document.

It's clearly not a... What is the Magna Carta? It does have... I never figured that out. It has some foundations of democracy into it. So wait, so I got... A foundational royal charter of rights agreed to by King John English. You didn't have that first.

Did you? No, I did not. Excellent. So I have two... Two is my maximum. So what was number two? Columbus has got to be two number two was the invention

of the printing press Oh no Is that 14 by Gutenberg? Yeah So I'm giving you a half point for that Oh Andy got I got zero then

Andy got two and a half points Okay Mike got zero points Oh Jason got two points Yeah baby So I'm a point away from Mike baby That's right

12 11 5.5 That's right Do I 12 Mike with 12 11 And last one What?

What? What? right? How did that happen? You had 12 and you got no points, so you have zero. It was 12 to 9, and then I scored 2, so I go to 1. You still have the same amount you had before. Okay. I didn't realize Jason that got to 9. But this is double points for the fun of it.

You wish. Not this one. So I'm toast. Yeah. Why don't you just do your silly little thing that Mike and I? Let me submit this into, let me submit this as an actual rule for the next time. Okay. If you go 0 for 4, there should be a penalty. I like that. I'm not sure you want to do that, man. Minus one.

All right, round five, so you have four and a half points. Well, no, next time. All right, guy. I'm aware I made that error. Magnacarta for the win. Round five, man, Sputnik. Okay. Oh, actually, real quick, because again, I got some notes last time.

People want to hear the correct answers in the years. Okay. Real quick. Magna Carta was 1215. Man. Printing press 1440. Columbus sailed the ocean blue in the year of 1492. I knew it in a two, baby.

And where's my half point? The painting of the Mona Lisa was 1503. Man, I had that very wrong. All right, round five. The launch of Sputnik, the Russian satellite. Satellite. Thank you for telling me what that was because I did not know. Number two.

It was the first satellite to go to space. M.O.K's I had a dream speech. Okay. That was a very famous speech, Jason. Martin Luther King Jr. For civil rights. That one I am aware. Number three, the first cell phone was made.

Those are those pocket devices. They used to have cordes. The first cell phone call was made. First cell phone call, thank you. And number four, Sesame Street debut. That is the bagel shop. No way. That's going to be the problem for me is the Sesame Street.

No way. How is Sesame Street in this list? Yeah. No. Well, I have my list, but Mike is the one that has to go first. You're a... Oh. Well, I haven't written anything down.

That's fine. why don't you just I've got three of the four I feel confident at three of the four but I don't know where in the world to put Sesame Street I've what?

I feel like that's I mean just a It feels like it is after everything It feels like I feel like Sesame Street's been around longer than we think Well of course that's the whole I think that's the trick here of the game It feels like Sesame Street came after all those things for sure

But probably didn't But then again cell phone first real cell phone could have been a long time earlier too yeah yeah the first one yeah the first one is there's probably about this big for sure it's the size of a car i am struggling here man um hold on i got to figure out the fourth one that i got to put in here uh my order i just squeezed right squeeze some items in between other ones oh okay no go ahead there's no way all right mike yeah you got to answer now man

what happened first Mike I don't know I feel like we're I'm praying Sesame Street was first that's what I'm putting I put it first because I have no idea I feel like I'm in a trap I'm going Sesame Street Sputnik

cell phone MLK wow my order is completely different Jason I'm going Sputnik MLK SME street cell phone I have the same as Jason All right, smart man. Mike. Zero points.

Zero points. Yeah. I knew. Jason and Andy. Five points. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We had Sputnik in 57. Yeah. MLK's speech in 63. Sesame Street in 69. The first cell phone call. 70s. You got, I felt like it was a trap. Yeah.

And that like the order. That made me move Sesame into third. That's what. It's the most. logical order that you just read. Like, of course that's it, but. I had written down the decades and the event

of the other three. Sputnik. I knew Sputnik was the cell phone, but then I was like, where's Sesame Street, so I just jammed it in. I was like, it can't be last. So I obviously won. I think Jason won. Yep. Jason ended with 16, Mike with 12, Andy with 10 and a half. Who won last time? I don't know. I think I'll let you know. I think Mike won. I think Jason. Oh, was you?

It was me. I remember me. You remember the wins because they're so... No history. We know history. You probably did, which is... I mean, I don't want you to take this wrong way, but I would expect you to be the biggest loser here.

Thank you. Because you were like, it has a two in it. Yeah. So it's a bit of a trick. I got half a point of that. I got tricked there. I tried to out-trick the trick. I should have just answered it for real.

All right. We're going to take a break. We'll come back with the draft. Okay. I'll give bad news after the break. The Spitballers Draft. Are you leaving the show, Jay? That would be terrible news.

No, I've got better news than that, but it's still bad news for you and I. What's that? Andy one? I tweeted out, if you could only have 100% of this at all times, what would you prefer, light mode or dark mode. Oh. Yeah, because... 333 votes in, 83% dark mode. Yes, because, listen, you guys...

Why? Because there's a bunch of kids out there voting. No, why? Because it's like, listen, Jason hates the light. Like, he doesn't like going to turn the lights on. Has he noticed the fact that it? the other eight employees in the office always have the lights off every morning. Wait, people don't want...

You said it opposite. I hate when you turn the lights off. I love the light on. Yes, he loves the light on. He likes light mode in real life, IRL light mode. Yes. Everybody else in the office you notice will just leave the lights off because our screens are already lit.

That's the philosophy behind it. You get dark mode at night. You either have your face lit up by all white or you have just the letters lit up. So that episode of Game of Thrones, like the huge fight north of the wall, where no one could see nothing. You guys loved that. You guys thought that was the best episode of television ever. One amazing ingenuity on the argument.

Spectacular reference to the one time that we didn't like dark mode. I agree. What are you doing with your TVs? 83% says the whole story. And I have to, we're a two, all three of us own this company. It's crazy to me. And we have a pretty standard rule. If it's not something of an insane consequence, two thirds wins it.

Yeah. So these two guys, I had to change our whole entire, this is your employee portal. right? This is where you guys submit your days off of which we've approved 100% because we're really awesome. Now, there's another whole part of this website where I keep track of the employee's information. We have stats and our data and documents. We're talking about a robot site. It was all dark mode when I made it, buddy. Guess what I had to do? Yeah. You had to fix it. I had to change the whole stupid thing to light mode.

Thank you. For grandma and grandpa over here. Our original, I guarantee you if you pull grandparents took as a light mode for 100% of it. They won't know what that means. That's true. Our original fantasy footballer's website was originally in dark mode and we had to change it because it wasn't good. Oh, broadly wasn't good?

Yeah. Baby. It went to light mode. I'm pretty sure so people can read it. I'm pretty sure we were a pretty good success with that dark mode. Never since we changed it, we were really plateauing. I'm being serious. When things are like if it's the black screen and in the white font, it burns. Like, I

I can just blink and I can see the entire paragraph. That's a you problem. It is. It's an us problem. But I mean, like, if you get a Kindle and you're reading a Kindle at night, most people are throwing that onto the inverted mode because it's less eye string. It's less in, it's less invasive. But if you get a book, they print it on light mode pages.

You want to know why? Because it makes sense. You have to have a light behind you to light it up. If you, if they could have dark paper and print white. text, they would never do that. No. It would be awful. No, no, no. That is a very fair point. No, no, no, that's true.

I'm saying if it costs the same to be both. Have we thought about not dying the whole page black? We will save millions on ink. We got to move on. Real quick, I'm going to set the record straight. Last time we did, we know history. You got to set the record straight. Yeah. I said I was the winner. Was it Mike? It was a tie between Jason and Mike. We didn't have a tiebreaker. So it ended 886 last.

So I lost one. So really all you did was highlight I'm last twice. That is correct. So I don't know history. Well, it's called we know history. It's Mike and I. We know history and which color mode you should use on your computer. All right.

So I'm up first in the, yeah, we are drafting. By the way, build the perfect backyard. You're you're picking four items for your perfect backyard. I love this because it's going to be very subjective. It's going to be very, everybody has different things that they think are important. And honestly,

Different parts of the country probably care about different things more. Like out here, we've talked about some things that are very important. But Mike, go ahead. Yes. And we had the question where I was saying, if you have only one or the other, I'm going to go against the pool. But because I will have multiple things, I will be drafting ultimate pool. Of course.

Ultimate pool. I get other stuff. Yeah, that's fine. The pool is. But it's the most important. It is the most important here. It is not the. way across the United States by any stretch. I mean, most places do not, it's not very common

to have a pool. And that's why community pools and country clubs and stuff are more, or YMCA, whatever. You go use the pools. But I get it. So the pool, number one pick. It makes sense. Jason, you are up. The pool is a fantastic pick. Ultimate, ultimate pool. Yeah, because honestly, pools aren't all the same. A play pool versus a play like a diving pool with a grotto and a waterfall like come on we're drafting all kinds of pools yeah yeah just think like you know that cool stuff you like in a pool it's in the you got it's in the ultimate pool dude ultimate pool that's what I drafted in your that's not a thing you don't go sir would you like to order a pool or you're more in the mood for an ultimate pool when you go to jack in the box do you order a cheeseburger or

do you want to get an ultimate cheeseburger or you get a draft kit or an ultimate draft kit yeah Yeah. No, ultimate pool stands. I like that. Obviously, earlier you brought up the fact that you can't use it half the year. Right. So I will get something that I actually use far more than my pool. No! It is an ultimate hot tub. Oh, come on. I'm in. A son of a gun.

Old man, Mike? Yeah. Hot tub is so much more valuable. I have a pool and a hot tub attached, and I don't ever go in the pool. I go in the hot tub. Give me hot. And year round, because I don't even if it's hot. Oh, I don't care. need to be hotter. I can still have the jets on my cool water. I was going to take hot tub. Oh, man. But I didn't think. I hadn't even crossed my mind to take the ultimate hot tub. Yeah. Me either until hearing about all these ultimate draft kids. I'm not going to stoop to those levels, but I will say my first pick is going to be the ultimate grill. Oh, the ultimate grill. The ultimate grill. It's got a flat top. It's got

gas. It's plumbed. This ain't no propane tank. It has got it all, boys. My back here. What is the ultimate backyard? I've got the ultimate grill, obviously. And here we are. We've got another... I think everything has to be the ultimate now. I'm looking at things on my list. I want you to know it's like a really good version.

It's not the bad version. It's not the cheap version of it. It's the ultimate. Okay, I'm going to follow up the ultimate grill with something that we use so much. And I think if I use it so much in Arizona, and love it so much. Most parts of the country are going to use it even more. I'm going to take the ultimate fire pit.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And this is no run of the mill fire pit. No, no, it's just the top cheer. This is the kind that's got the real good fire in it. And the chairs are so comfortable. And my goodness, do they have cup holders? The ultimate fire pit.

I wouldn't even believe how many cup holders we got. We are going hardcore ultimate here. All right. I'm out. I feel good with this. I had third and fourth pick. I feel good. Yeah.

It's all right. But you really left me something great. Because in the ultimate version of this, the fences are high, the LEDs are bright. And I've got multiple sports that I can do on my ultimate sport court. Yeah. Okay. The backyard. It's a great pick.

If I had to pick only one, it would have been basketball, even though I love pickleball more. But I can do all of them. I mean, is this a regular sport? No, it's an ultimate sports court. You can't do CM volleyball on it. No. Oh. But I can do regular volleyball.

Yeah. Bust up them knees. Jeez. All right. It's back to Mike and we are really building some ultimate backyard. I like, he already put the ultimate prefix in for the rest of our picks in the. That's very presumptive of you. I mean, it's probably right.

We might draft the better than ultimate items. Ultimiter. Yeah. Mike, you have a, you have the ultimate pool so far. So I got the pool. Jason's got a hot tub in a sport court. I've got a grill in a fire pit. If I'm in,

the only thing that's going to make a, an Arizona night in the ultimate pool better is, I'm watching a movie on my ultimate outdoor projector movie set up. I don't know what you want to call it. So you're watching a movie, an outdoor movie. Or sports. So you're just invasive to the neighbors, just blasts in the,

well, backyard. It's pretty big. So is that technically you get the screen in the projector then? Yeah. You get a double. Because it's ultimate. It's ultimate. Yes. Of course you get both. You can't just make me draft a screen only. No, no. That's redonculus. You do have two books in a row. And then the only thing that's going to get

me out. Oh, wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Not whatever. Screw it. The only that's getting me out of the pool is to take a quick trip to my ultimate bar. My old little tiki bar. Ladies and gentlemen. Ultimate tiki bar is nice. Well, it's got to be themed. Well, it's only top shelf. Yeah. There's no plastic bottles here.

Imagine having a bar outdoor when you could have a teaky bar. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you want. I mean, there's torches. Yeah. There's dolewip. I don't know, man. Disney ruined the tequila for me.

What do you mean? Because you can't do it. That's not the teaky, teaky bar. You say the teaky bar now that's in my head. And I want to kill my time. You haven't been to enough good teaky bars then. I haven't been. I've been to the teaky room.

Have you been to a lot? yeah oh okay oh tiki theme bars are everywhere it's always a good time it's especially good if you want to get all the diseases of your friends because you're like right you're like give us this thing and they bring the they bring the bowl out in four straws and you're like kiss each other let me watch

all right I'm up I'm going look this has been the you get to skip a pick no no no this is This is too good. I can't believe it's left here for me. I've got my sports court, which takes care of volleyball. Takes care of basketball.

You're a big volleyball guy? You play a lot of volleyball, Jay. My kids might. Your kids might. My kids might. They won't. Good resale value, though. So, you know.

Okay. Just so you know, ultimate pool. We're playing volleyball. Well, sure. I mean, if you had taken ultimate sandbox, you could have played. Yes. I don't know if there's an ultimate version of this, which is kind of sad. Just having one is its own nice version.

It's a nice, but I'll take the ultimate version. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to take the ultimate putting green. Oh, there you're going to call for right now. You've twice taken my next pick. Practice the putting, which, you know, cuts the strokes off. Yeah, how often you use yours? You've had one for a while.

How's your putting game, Jay? My putting game is getting better. it's got room for improvement. I do have a putting green in my backyard and I have never once used it. Not one single time. Well, it's because you have a regular. So you're in the golf and you have a putting green.

That ultimate. Honestly, okay, so actually you're not, you're genuinely not wrong. The reason I don't use it is because it is not ultimate enough. It's flat Astro-tofer and I feel like it's not going to play like a course. It's just, like, if it was like an ultimate, like, you know, it looked like a shot. You might want to give it a run. Yeah, maybe.

On my back, you've taken both of my picks and I don't like you. My first pick here is going to be one of the best picks, guys. Oh, wow. And it was on the tip of my tongue until I kind of lost it. It's the ultimate sauna. Oh, yes. I'm putting the ultimate sauna into my backyard. Yes.

Okay. I am all about that. which in some ways just walking outdoors in Arizona is sort of the ultimate sauna. It's a dry sauna. So does yours have some steam then? You can throw water on the rock? Yeah, of course. It's the ultimate. Wait, did you just say is yours a dry

so you can throw water on the rocks? No, I'm saying Arizona is a dry sauna. You walk outside, you're in a dry sauna. So in his sauna he can throw water on the rocks, have it be like a steam room. So it's the ultimate version. It is. It is a great. But you're very boxed off from what's going on out there. Yeah, I mean, because you want to relax. Honestly, you're not really. I mean, a lot of...

The oldest sonnas are glass. You can see everything. You can see. And they can see you sweating your buns off. My final pick, because I can't have a putting green, which I really wanted, and Jason made a great pick with that one. I'm going to give it up to the kids, because frankly, there's just nothing more... You know, normally when you buy kids something, it's popular, it gets used, and then it's forgotten. That's like the 95% of what you buy children.

It's a waste of your money. The one item that I've ever bought my kids that has been used for all of a turning, no matter how old they've gotten, and obviously in my backyard, all of the ultimate one, it's the ultimate trampoline. Yeah. I have to give it up. We can get on it as adults and have a good time, but for the kids, they just don't get bored of the trampoline.

So I'm going ultimate. It bounces higher. There's probably a basketball hoop in it. When they're older, like when my kids became teenagers, it just became. the place to go sit with friends. They would just go out and sit on the trampoline because it's got the net around and feels like they're like secluded. It's all like the new version of the treehouse?

Yeah, basically. Have you guys... So ultimate, though. I don't even know what to call it other than the ultimate trampoline, but have you been on a true, like a higher level gymnast type of trampoline? So we have this... I've seen them.

We haven't... Well, we have an indoor play place here in Arizona called KTR. Oh, that's called the ankle breaker. And I, you know, I grew up with a trampoline. I'm a regular. I know what they do. Holy crap. No, no, no, no.

Your outdoor trampoline does not get anywhere close to this. This trampoline, you can, like an outdoor one, you're like, if I'm jumping up six feet, you're like, I'm very. Flying. Yes. Not on this thing. These trampolines, you're, like, you can, you watch the kids and they're going. They're touching the roof. They're touching the, like, the 20-foot roof or so.

You know, they have a full-time nurse. I would imagine so. They had to hire because of the amount of broken bones and ankles. That makes 100% sense. Very grateful to hear that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you sign away a lot when you say you want the ultimate trampoline experiments. You're signing the ultimate waiver.

So I got the grill, fire pit son in trampoline. Jason, you have the ultimate hot tub sport, court, putting green, and you have another pick. I thought about a couple of things I currently have, like a chicken coop or a vegetable garden, and I realize I don't use them. Those aren't very ultimate. There's no ultimate.

No. Ultimate vegetable garden, maybe you can eat for a day, once a year. I don't understand how people can feed themselves from growing themselves. I do, apparently need a field. Instead, we host a lot of parties. We have a lot of events and usually there's a ton of people. It's like fun time. So you can't have as much fun in your backyard if you don't have the ultimate outdoor speakers.

Oh, that's a good one. That's what turns it into a party. That's a good one. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, what are you going to play on a sport court with no music in the background? That's a good pick, Jason. I thought you were going to say the ultimate stacking chairs because you had a lot of people coming over. Yeah.

But you went sound system. They stack so high. You go 12 high. Mike, you have the pool, the backyard theater, the Tiki bar, and you're going to wrap it up with. Oh, man. I thought trampoline was going to make it bad. Oh, was that going to be on your list? It was.

Can I interest you in a zipline? I do. The zipline is very, very high in my current list. I didn't take it because I didn't have the pool. Am I going to zip line in my hot tub? I think you're only here for the zipline. So you have to finish the zipline. You have to be into the pool.

Of course. Otherwise, it's not ultimate. No, that's true. Mike is struggling. It's the best. It's the best of what I can... But now it's just... You're just taking Jason's thing.

Yeah, man. I have an idea for yourself. Fine. No, I'm gonna take it. I'm taking the ultimate zip. Yeah. I'm coming over now. I mean, either of you guys ever had to hang a zip line up?

What? No. No. You pay people. I'm not an engineer. Bro, I've done this. It's not easy. Yeah, of course.

That's why I wouldn't. do it. Yeah, it was really difficult. I had to buy all sorts of tools. I would hang up the world's floppiest. Yeah, I was going to say, if I hung up a zip line, one, it wouldn't work. Two, if it's three, Capron, I mean, if it works, it's a way bigger problem. I bet Al has. Al, you've probably done that before. I have not. Oh, okay. I got a job for you then. I didn't know people had their own zip lines. Yeah, you can just go buy them online. Well, wouldn't you have an ultimate pool? All right. Yeah, you just go buy them, and then you got to buy like seven different tools so that you can

like tighten it tight enough. As long as you have that professionally installed, I'll come over. Sounds like a good time. All right, that'll do it. Ultimate backyard, man, did we ever? What did we learn today? What did you learn?

You guys learn something about dark mode maybe? I learned that. Maybe a little dark mode lesson. I learned that Mike. Employees really like it. Mike and I. Yes. No history.

Yes. We know history. What'd you learn, Mike? Anything? Go with your gut. Don't let Sesame Street. Throw you off? Oh, you're still regretting.

It was a trick question, and I fell for it. Thank you for joining us. We'll be back with another episode next week of the Spitballers. Take care. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballerspod.com.