Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Love Thy Nabor & Movies To See Again For The First Time - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

Spit Hit for Dec 5th, 2024: On today’s show we discuss being a cat owner, the pain of family portrait sessions, and being able to erase our cringe moments. Then, we jump into a perfectly terrible edition of ‘Highway To Spell’. Lastly, we draft movies that we would like to be able to see again for the first time. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's the holiday season, ladies and gentlemen, and that means stuff is crazy right now. My schedule is absolutely insane, overwhelmed. I got the kids. I got all their stuff. I got me and my wife. I want to take care of us and do some fun things during this holidays, trying to jam as much as you can into that holiday schedule.

And honestly, I don't know if I'm taking enough time just for myself. It's life. It's great right now, but it can be overwhelming and get out of control. And sometimes you need to talk to someone about those big issues that you have and talk to a professional. Talk therapy is extremely helpful. Sometimes, like I said, those problems, they're just too big to be rattling around in that brain of yours. Talk to someone who can help you set your goals, work through these issues, just

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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash ballers. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with with Andy Mike and Jason Wait was that a house I turned it into a where I live I turned it into a house what so here's I Mean, why did it walk me through that? No, don't walk me through just let it stand True scat you don't know where you're going. Okay, that's fine. I don't know where I was, so.

I heard what you heard, Mike. I heard a, in the house. I mean, I heard several volume modulations and then something about your house. Yeah, yeah. Would you rather? 10 out of 10, I hear you, Mike. Highway to Spell, and we are drafting today, per usual, today's draft, movies you wish you could watch

for the first time, all over again. Right, there are some movies that the first experience, it cannot be repeated. Mm-hmm. Yep. So we will be, you had the first pick. Yeah, there's different reasons, you know, it's like, oh, is it because it doesn't have the same rewatch ability once you know, or is it the experience of? You know that day or is it a twist? Yeah, because you can't you know, the second time you watch it

You know the twist already. That's true So we'll be drafting those can they could we make a movie where like there's a twist but then the next time you watch it It's not there. Oh, like there's a twist but then the next time you watch it, it's not there Oh, man, what a twist double twist like yeah when they put the movie out from the they have a you know, the The the theater release but then the home release is just a different ending but they don't tell you that it's gonna happen I mean we can do anything we want Mike. That's next level M night you listen. Yeah Double twists. Well, I listening? Yeah. Double twist.

Well, I think to do double twist, what you should do is a theatrical release all across the country, and you get one of three reels in every theater. Oh, OK. And then at that point, you might have watched a different movie than the people down the street. You don't even know which one you got. And then you go back to the theater to see the man one and you hope you get the new one

Yeah, you might get the same exact ending. Okay. Okay. Hear me out next next level You just use your PR team to say that you're doing these different endings You only have one and you just get people to come back and back They want to see the other ending have they ever done a movie like they should film the same movie but just swap one actor out for another actor same movie same everything back to the future but not on just a rerelease no I'm just saying like you've released like the matrix but it had like or so Keanu plays it in one of them and you go to the theater and it's a different actor playing the main role Nick Cage. Yeah, obviously Nick Cage is neo. Yeah. All right. I think we're done talking about that

It's time to get a great idea. We figure some stuff out there This is on par with the urinal gaming that we figured out which was already a thing So so the movie this has already been a thing, too Would you rather. All right, Ian from Patreon says, would you rather wake up missing both your pinky fingers or wake up owning three cats? What a weird question. What a weird podcast this is.

What? I mean. Missing both pinkies. No, I mean, to own three cats, there's gotta be some rule. I've gotta now take care of these cats, right? Like, this is not... I can just do what I would do which is to scurry them out of thy house never to return. Taking care of a cat, I hear, is quite easy. They don't do... Yeah, you don't need to do nothing, right? You just leave a... You leave the bowl of food out. I hear, is quite easy. Yeah, you don't need to do nothing, right? You just leave the bowl of food out.

I guess- A sandbox. Yeah, if they're an indoor kitty cat, you gotta have the place for them to go potty. Otherwise, like here, just a lot of people are just going, go outside, cat! And then they go outside and they- And maybe they come back, maybe they don't.

I would say the vast majority of cat owners have a litter box. Do they? I think so maybe they don't. I would say the vast majority of cat owners have a litter box. Do they? I think so. I don't know cat owners, because I would never associate with those people. There's also allergy problems here, fellas. I mean, to you two weaker immune system boys,

you guys have severe allergies to so many things, and cats are one of them. Yeah, but the allergies, like at no point in the allergies getting really really bad do my pinky fingers fall off. Yeah I've grown quite accustomed. Attached? Yeah to the use of the pinky finger comes through in the clutch a lot. I wonder. Sipping tea and stuff? Yeah this is not people know. This is not to take anything away from these awesome pinkies if I could have another pink I would But if I lost my pinky You feel like you're fine. I feel like I could do

90 I mean I could do 99% of the table ball things maybe not as well like I'm trying to think of what I as well. Like I'm trying to think of what I really couldn't do without a pinky that I could with. Now Mike you're a guitar player. That comes to mind. I would like to have my pinky for that. For sure. So maybe you just lose one of them. People don't opt into losing your pinkies. People do opt into having cats. That is a good point. Yeah. So that's a choice that some people make this is the most anti cat show That has ever existed. I have no idea. How do you feel about cats? Get them out of here. All right, so we we lost some of our audience today

Well, just the ones we wanted to oh, I will speak this for the pro cat crowd I've I've heard that cats are tremendous hunters and so like I mean if you got a rodent situation they'll take care of that. They also track down and kill moths which is impressive. That's tremendous for me because I you're really anti-moth. I'm anti flying bugs right because they don't know where they're going and I don't know where they're going Yeah, no, they have no idea. It's usually though your face you're thinking of like What are the what are the the jumping ones the jet what locusts? No grasshoppers those have no idea where they go. They just launch

Like TNT went off below them and then they are flapping in the wind. Oh this this place is pretty sweet They close their eyes. They close their eyes and they spin the wheel and step on the gas It is literally a slingshot is all that happens. They're just going I want to go that way That's that's true that's a that was a grasshopper close No, I don't like, because they have no, if they want to get away from you, they couldn't do it on purpose. No, because they don't even control

which direction they're jumping. They would just jump again and it could hit you again. Look, I honestly think a cat would be the pet for me if I wasn't horribly allergic, genuinely. You don't have to take care of it. It keeps to itself. It's basically not having a pet. It's just an animal that lives in your house how says they can also kill scorpions oh that's good Arizona's got a scorpion they're out and about

in your backyard and scorpions kill them great follow-up question because then we could have fewer cats can scorpions kill pure evil yeah we know not yeah that's fair scorpions kill pure evil? Yeah, we know not yeah, that's fair scorpions come from cats Did we decide that you would rather lose your pinkies I'm still trying to work through what things other than a playing a guitar that I really need that I have being anything. Yeah, I Mean, you know how you talked about pinky up You know how you talked about cuz you don't need because you talk about putting your pinky up? Because you don't need it. Because you don't use your pinky to grab things. What about typing, Jason?

Ooh, that's actually full legit. I type every day. Took me 30 seconds to debunk your argument. Give me them cats. All right. I need my pinkies. Wow, typing was all I needed. All right, Desiree from Patreon,

would you rather erase all of your past cringe moments from everyone else's memories, but not yours, or erase them from your memory, but not everyone else's? Well, the weird thing about this question is that if they're erased from your memory and not everyone else's. Then you're Russell Wilson. You don't know how cringe you are. Is there any way that that would, like if you don't know, if you don't know how you're being interpreted, it's basically like you never did it. Now people might act a little weird about against you. I think it's worse. I think it's worse if you don't know your cringe level. Like you don't know that you're cringy. But you don't know. So it's never actually a problem. But it is. It might

not be a problem for you. And again, I go back to Russell Wilson here, the who, you know, the quarterback, cringy sandwich guy. If you don't know, and other people do know that you're cringy That has an effect on you even if you don't realize the effect People around you think of you a certain way treat you a certain way Avoid you in major ways and that does affect you even if you're ignorant to it But is that what does it have bad? But if you don't know, then it's not really affecting you. I mean, I guess if people are avoiding you and you get to the point you're like, why does no one want to hang out and I'm just being avoided and I have no idea why, then that can affect you. But I mean, it sounds pretty good of like anything, or just like a cringe, you had an embarrassing

moment and you're just, poof, that thing is gone. It no longer haunts you at one in the morning. It would feel that way though if you knew everybody around you, you forgot them. You would feel the freedom. You might know that you're a cringey person, but you'd feel the freedom of knowing you're now, you're walking into society with a clean slate if I do a cringy cringy Celebrity impersonation in my bathroom by myself in the mirror right I don't feel bad about that ain't nobody know you know that I don't take that embarrassment about here

Was that supposed to be walking? See, see, but thankfully. Are you wiping everyone else's memory? Nobody knows about that. I was in my own bathroom there. Okay, all right, I hear Al laughing. Al, do you have a walk-in of your own? No, sir.

Okay, I didn't think so. I didn't think so. Two mice. Oh man. That was better. That was better, yes. Oh, I didn't think so to mice That was better that was much better. Well, that's cuz it's something he actually said That's the hardest part about an impression. You have to like say something In the way that the person said it. Mm-hmm. That's what an impression is Did I say in the way? Yeah. No, I sorry I meant you just laid out the definition for us Thank you

though. That is the hardest part of an impression is the impression part. People at home, I meant say something they've said, but I definitely described an impression like a dictionary definition of one. That's the hardest part. Sounded like them. Why are you doing an impersonation of them? Yeah, so I guess I'm going to erase it in everyone else's mind because I think I'll have the freedom still, and then people will treat me fairly. Yeah, I'm right there with you. Steve from the website, would you rather make consistent

spelling and grammar mistakes? OK, been there. Or be the person that always points out everyone else's spelling and grammar mistakes. So That person generally sucks. Yeah, generally speaking humanity does not like the the grammar police and the spelling police if you are consistently making those errors mean

So, okay. I mean, let's walk it out. You don't have like a spell check and you're sending people notes and emails that are littered with spelling mistakes. For instance, let me give you an example. Before this podcast began, I received a very professional email from Cox Business services, right? Which is a local internet provider and, um, yeah, we get the name here. Yep. Oh, redacted. All right. Uh, and they wrote and they said that maybe I was interested in upgrading my internet service because some of my neighbors have recently upgraded. Well, That's great. Now they spelled neighbors, and what a show for this, N-A-B-O-R-S.

Nevers. Which is, I've never seen it spelled that way in all of my days. The spell check must have been, the alarms must have been going off. Now did you have a problem even reading, did you know what they were saying right off the bat? No.

You had to stop and go. No, I had to stop and say, oh my. Did you know what they were saying right off the bat? No. You had to stop and go. I had to stop and say, Oh my, Oh my. They were describing one who is doing like nabbing. Yeah. A lot of stealing. I couldn't. Maybe they just misspelled that. And it was capitalized. Wait, what? So in the middle of the sentence, it was, it was a capitalized, like, your neighbors, they're very important

and it's only six letters long. So, but yes, so that person I've lost a lifelong respect for. Like that's incredibly embarrassing. I feel like I should write back and say, no, I'm not interested in service, however- Just say, what's a nabber? That's what you should respond and just say, I'd like interested in service however just say what's a nabber that's what you should

respond and just say I I'd like more information on this what is a nabber. I don't got to put them on blast that way service because there's no I mean you only get one of two responses back from that either they understand their mistake and they're like oh my gosh how embarrassing I meant neighbors sure that's what you get. I'm sure that I hope I pray that's what you get. I'm sure that I hope I pray That's what you get because if they don't if they write back the people next to you That's worse Your number I can at least put a Y in there if you're gonna spell it at least have it be phonetic

Oh my goodness. Oh man, and today's a stupid spelling show, but misspelling stuff and sending it in any sort of you know professional circumstance is Me that that's a red letter Your toast if it goes that look if I spell the word ridiculous wrong, maybe you forgive me, right? Because no one knows how to spell that what you know, but if you don't capitalize your eyes But you know what I mean or use punctuation. You look like a child. Yeah, I mean honestly, I was looking through one of my children's texts, this was about a year ago, they were pre-teen and I'm looking, and I had to take them aside and say, okay, look, we capitalize

eyes, we use, like this was like unreadable. It's like, this is not okay. You just, you, you, you look wrong. And now the more I look at this email, there are fonts that are different sizes inside of this email. What is going on? And so what's the alternative here? So I either, so this, this is getting worse and worse. Or you're the one who points them out. So you'd be the person writing back and saying, excuse me, Mr. Communications, better learn how to

communicate because you don't know how to spell. That is a good irony there. Yes. I'm too embarrassed to ask him what he means in his own writing. What would I have to give you for you to respond? What's the response that you want? What's a nabber? That's it. That's it. All right, I'm going in. Oh man, what's a nabber? Wow. I just want to see the response. It has been sent. Oh man. Oh, the cringe is here. You need to get rid of the cringe with your friends because I don't want it anymore. Al, make sure that you remind me to check my email before the end of the show because if the listeners at home are lucky we're going to update on what a nabber is and the screenshot that Andy just shared with the group. I can't

read it all because it's cut off but that sentence starts with your Nabbers currently was introduced. Oh currently was. So you've got the grammar mixed in too. Wow. I mean, you gotta, you gotta point it out. So I want to be the one pointing it out. Yeah. I don't want to be this guy. Can't be sending this email. No, this is awful. This, I mean this screenshot, this screenshot is one of the worst things I've ever put my, you're not wrong, Andy. Everything is a different font size. I think you're getting trolled I was gonna say I hope this is just a phishing email and Andy got got It's possible. Yeah, who did it? What do no? No, this is a straight. This is a gentleman

And that's let's call it Vincent. Okay, and Well, there you go. So we're all gonna be the ones pointing it out. All right Dallas from patreon Would you rather have to do family photos once a month? Oh No, or attend a children's birthday party once a month I do that four times a month which one serves me cake while I'm miserable Yeah, look, there's a lot of redemption at children's birthday parties. I don't like the obligation Yeah, but once you're there, it's not that bad. It really isn't. It really, really. I just hate always having the like Saturdays are always, oh, we can't do this thing because we've got to

go to so and so's, you know, already it will be at one in the afternoon. Oh yeah. Time that you can't do anything in the morning and you cannot plan anything in the afternoon, but once you're there I mean Sometimes you're you're going to a fun like bounce house place where you know what I'm getting up there too My shoes are coming off. I'm bouncing my pop some of these bounce houses The the family photos is one of my least favorite things. Like top 10 list. I don't know if it's from complaining,

but it's been a long time since our family's gotten a family photo. Us too. And I almost feel sad, I almost feel bad about it now because it's been so long that I'm like, I know it's a miserable time. But we're due. But we're due.

Fellas, this is your time to shine. If you take this bull by the horns, and you're the hero, and you go to the wife and be like, hey, I've noticed that our family photos are a bit outdated. I think, like, I've cleared this day. Why could you do you know a photographer do you want to schedule this? Dude your husband points will go through the roof. Interesting. Yeah but my wife listens so I got till Monday. Okay well you better get on it. She'll be like oh now I know why you wanted a family

photograph session. Oh man. That's all right. I'm still going to try this on. That's not bad. I mean, if now is the time. So to me, between these two, the family photos, I'm with you guys. Is there any way to improve that process? No. Can we invent it right here?

I have some ideas. OK. The worst part of the process to me is the outfit coordination. Oh, so headshots only. Oh, there we go! But all five in a row. Green bodysuits. Oh, and you CGI them in?

You can wear anything you want. You can look different in all your photographs. You remember this one when we were all dressed up like cowboys? Ha ha ha! Remember this one where I was super shredded in the best shape of my entire life? Yes, green bodysuits. And then it's very easy. Because the issue for me, again, it's like the birthday party. Oh no, the getting dressed up, the kids hate it, all of that.

It's the week before. It's the... And it costs money. I got to go to this store, I got to go to that store, we got to match this. Especially, oh my goodness, if there's extended family. If it's our nucleus of five, whatever, we're going to get an outfit for everybody and we're done. But now, so and so on the other side of the valley, two hours away, we've got to coordinate outfits with what we've bought. It's just too much. And we are really do. We have been talking about, much to my chag grand, we need new family photos.

I mean after a certain point I do recognize that it would be nice to have a family photo where we were somewhat looking the same as we do now. How have we not gotten to a place where we can just AI generate some family photos? I mean, I want the photos. You can do the aging too. You just need one.

Yeah, I want the photographs, I don't want the process. What can do the aging too. You just need one. Yeah, I want the photographs. I don't want the process. What did you just say, Al? I want you to read this. I said, I'm just picturing walking through the park and seeing Jason standing there with his family all in green spandex suits. No, the thing about the spandex suit

is you don't have to go to the park. You just go to a sound stage that is also all green. Like, hey, remember when we took those pictures on Mars? park you just you go to a sound stage that is also all green like hey remember we took those pictures on Mars green body suits in front of a green screen then we're just floating yeah you won't be able to that's exactly the point you could be anything you want you can't put the body on no you have to put a brand new body on everybody oh my gosh all right I think it's time to move on to Jason's favorite segment. Oh, let's not.

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when using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things that you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash ballers. That's rocketmoney.com slash ballers. Rocketmoney.com slash ballers. Highway to Spell. I'm in a bit of denial. I was told that I did not win this last time. That is true. Mike is our current reigning champion. Something weird must have happened. And I have won before, right? You have. I think the time before that. So I think if I'm not mistaken, Andy is two separate.

Well, look, I don't really consider Jason's a victory. Yeah, that's fine. Because I was given like two grades later words. Fair. If you want to disqualify mine as well, I don't care. Mike, you need to keep an air of competition going. No, I care about competing with myself. Oh, I see. This isn't so much of a-

So did you let yourself down in your victory? No, I won because I won. Okay. But it's letting yourself down in your victory? No, I won because I won. Okay. But it's letting yourself down in front of the hundreds of thousands of people listening to you not be able to spell. Well, um. As I talk about your nabber. Yeah, we're making, this is the ultimate comeuppance episode. Oh no. We are, we are just absolutely giving someone the business for spelling something wrong and we are about to just destroy our own facade here.

Yeah, and the thing where does everybody know you can't spell or you know you can't spell? All right, let's begin. All right, we are gonna start with sixth grade level words. Andy, here's your word. Oh, it's me. Oh my gosh. Didn't hear that at all. Yeah. No, no, no, spell it. Spe. Oh, it's me. Arithmetic. Oh my gosh. Didn't hear that at all. Yeah.

I'm gonna put my number. No, no, no, spell it. Spell it, go Andy. N-A-B-O-R-S, neighbors. Let's try a different one here. Arithmetic. That's a sixth grade word? It is.

I'm glad I don't have it, baby. It starts with an R, I know that. I'll give it to you one more time because I was talking over it. Arithmetic. Yeah, I'm in trouble a r i t h m a t i c arithmetic oh Man I got I can't find my horn, but that's wrong. Oh, that's wrong. Sorry I Will say that is not how I spelled it. I will say that's how I spelled it. Oh

I will say that is not how I spelled it. I will say that's how I spelled it. Oh Spell it the way I spelled it was oh yeah worse. Oh, Jay. No no no Jeremy Metic instead of Matic exactly those are the two ways. I wrote it a ri th M E T I see a That is not a sixth grade word that's's some bull crap. Don't worry you LLC RAP Bullcrap. All right, Mike. Here's your sixth grade level. Where it was fun Separately. Oh, I hate no where I spell this. I never ever. Oh, this is so good. I'm toast This could be the shortest segment of all time. Well, we're just hopefully you all get them wrong and we can oh gosh So nope. This. Oh no. We're getting our comeuppance. I know which one I think I've got how I would

spell it but it's probably wrong. No this is not good. Oh man. Separately. This is not good. Okay. Oh man. S? Yeah, you got it. E P. That's the question. S E P? S E P. A R A T E L Y. That's how I would have spelled it.

Oh yes! Yes! You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world.

You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in the world. You're the smartest man in-Y. That's how I would have spelled it. Oh yes! Yes! You're the smartest man alive! All right, Jason, let's see if he can.

And you spelled arithmetic wrong, right? Oh yeah. Oh god! How did you spell it? He spelled it the same way I did. I spelled it wrong in a different way. I think I went A-R-E. Alright Jason, keep us alive.

Here's your sixth grade level word. Doubtful. Persuade. Oh, I know that one, right? Uh, I, hold on. Hold on a second. I spelled arithmetic right! Wait, wait, hold on. Oh, what is happening there it says

that there's two versions of the spelling and he is yes and where are you seeing what is the difference between arithmetic and arithmetic arithmetic M a T I see is the mathematics of numbers wait and arithmetic is relating to the use of arithmetic. You should have asked for the definition. I see both of them. I do see what Andy is seeing. Yes! I'm not gone! He's back in! Andy is back in the game. Yes! Alright. I still don't understand the difference between those two definitions. How can one apply to the same thing and be spelled differently? Wait, so we're saying you can use an E or an A? It's, there's both. Now what about the third letter? Was that also in consider you could use an I or an E? Because pretty sure I'd be fine there. All right, my word is...

Now however the definition of the word one that I gave on this dictionary is quote the misspelling of arithmetic. That would be my definition. Okay. You determine if I'm in or out, but Jason, keep going. I think you've got to put them in for the good show. My word is persuade. I believe it is spelled P-E-R-S-U-A-D-E. Yeah. You're sweating.

Sorry, yeah, I was researching. I'm going to go ahead and say Andy's still in it. Okay. All right. Perfect. Okay. We are graduating to seventh grade. Sweat sorry yeah, I was I was researching I'm gonna go ahead and say Andy still in it okay, all right perfect Okay, we are we are graduating to seventh grade. Oh wait. Do I need I probably need to spell a sixth grade word right? Oh, don't I move it on okay? No, we're gonna call that one correct perfect All right, it's the correct misspelling of the here is your seventh grade level word Andy irresistible your seventh grade level word Andy. Irresistible. Oh no. Simply irresistible. Yeah that one's gonna be a problem too. Oh no. I believe there's only one correct spelling for this word. Okay good. Oh no. Oh I am in big trouble. I've got it. I've got mine. Well I have mine too Jason. Yeah no no no I'm just saying I wrote it. I'm not saying it's right. Well, I didn't want to be in this game anyway.

I R R E S I S T A B L E. That's how I did it. Yeah, I'm just kidding. I didn't have a good feeling about that. All eyes. Is there more asses? It is all eyes. You just swap that A for that I and you would have had it right. I R R E R E R E Rresistible, not stable. Correct.

So it's still I R R E S. Yes. E S I S T I B L E. Irresistible. I don't know if I can trust you. Yeah, you're going to need to Google that, Andy. Bet that while we move on to Mike here. All right, I'm going to double check.

Mike, here's your seventh grade level word. I was saying that, like, we say words funny because that's irresistible Sometimes we mess up tipple we we messed up in the fact that we the way you pronounce them then we spell them that Way, yeah. Yeah, and then sometimes we also irresistible. I was officially wrong on that. All right Here's your seventh grade level word maneuver. Oh That no what that one. All right. Here's your seventh grade level word. Maneuver. Oh, that. No. What? Oh, shoot. Um. This is not this is going to be a car crash.

Oh, man. Maneuver. Maneuver. I think I have that one. Maneuver. Now, does it help if I say a cow Drops a lot of maneuver. Yeah Maneuver, huh? Just reading my words and none of them are right I've tried to write it three times and it's come out the same way so maneuver man EU ver yes yes you're the best that ever's been I wrote three different words none of them were that but it's okay cuz I'm still in the game oh man all right come

on all right give me the high school here's your seventh grade level word. Paralyze. Paralyze, huh? Lay up. Is it? Okay. Okay, I think I got this one. Okay. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good about it. Can you give me the, whether there's a Y in this word.

Um, all right, I'm gonna go paralyze. Can you give me the root? Can you give me the spelling of the word, please? P-A-R-A-L. Peril. I-Z-E? No? Ooh.

Oh, Mikey, you win again. I did it. There is a Y in the word. Yeah, see, that's all I asked. Why didn't you tell me? Y-Z-E is what I said. What a disaster of a performance here. That was the worst by far we've ever done. We have, I mean, we spelled the majority of those words wrong, including you. Do you hear me stick

maneuver? Let's see if Mike, how far Mike can go. Okay. All right, Mike, here's your eighth grade level word. I'm a subtlety. Okay. Subtlety. I think I'm O for 100 on today. I wrote it down quick and that looks wrong. I'm gonna go S-U-B-T-L-E-T-Y. Oh, it was right.

Nice work, all right. Why is there a B in that word? What is happening? You don't say some little Sub little tea all right Mike on to ninth grade. Oh, yeah. Here you go curriculum Well that one's actually easy what? curriculum You'll curriculum. I did I didn't get to the end of the word You'll curriculum. I did I didn't get to the end of the word before

C u r r i c u l u m that's how I did it. All right, it was easy Domination 10th grade. Let's go. Let's get this boy to college. Here you go. Mike your 10th grade level word Surreptitious well, no college for you, buddy. Is that the maple kind? It is delicious. Ma. Maple syrup dishes. Yeah syrup dishes Stealthy syrup farm again syrup dishes We can see if this one's any better syrup Surreptitiously. Which one is it? Surreptitious?

It's surreptitious. Okay. I mean, this ain't right. Uh-uh. Okay, S-U-R-U-P-Surrup-T-I-C-O-U-S. That was super wrong. Yeah, I mean. But you're still the winner, Mike. Great job.

It is S-U-R-R-E-P-T-I-T-I-O-U-S-L-Y. There is very little worse than being wrong on the second or third letter. Which I was again. I was gonna go with S-Y. Syrup. I was just gonna hit it with the syrup. It was all gravy at this point. Syrup-ticious? That's stealth?

Yeah, stealthy. Syrup-ticiously. Stealth. Arithmetic. Or this really long word. Wait, you didn't pronounce the B in that. Syrup-ticiously. Alright, we're moving on. What's going on, Spitwads?

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That's S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-F-R-A-M-E dot com slash Ballers get twenty dollars off your purchase now at SkylightFrame.com slash Ballers. The Spitballers Draft. We're drafting movies you wish you could watch again for the first time. Which I think will be very interesting. I don't know what the 101 is here. I don't think there is a great 101, but there was certainly something that came to my mind first.

All right. So, when I thought about this, and I've got a couple different kind of outlets on this, not just twists at the end of a movie, but experiences I want to do over again. But the first thought of a movie I want to watch for the first time again, the whole point is that the ending isn't ruined. I get to experience that twist again. And one of the greatest all-time twists is the sixth sense where...

Okay. Yeah, spoiler. He sees dead people and he's dead. It was... That movie changed cinema cinema I think. It really did. I didn't know how high it would go. It was on my list for sure. It wasn't spoiled for me before I got to the movie theater which was also something that was neat and so I definitely had that moment. I was really thinking of this question, twists as a part of it but really just that the moment after you watch it, feeling. Mm-hmm. awe, it can be emotion, it can be fear,

whatever, just like I saw something special, unique, and now Mike's got two picks. I say that it came out in 1999, so that's, I mean, that's pre-Facebook. Are people MySpacing in 99? Not to the point where you were gonna see spoilers, no. Yeah, so the internet has made it a lot more difficult to see something without knowing what's gonna happen. I can't even delay watching a sporting event without getting five app notifications. So it's tough because I think if I don't take

one of these picks here, Mike's gonna take it. Okay. But I'm not certain, so I'm just gonna go with the one that like, when you're in the movie theater, I'm going, wow, I'm seeing something I've never seen before. I feel like I'm at an event, and for me it was seeing The Matrix. Yeah, okay, it's very high on my list.

In the movie theater, So the Matrix to me, it was special effects, cinematography, fighting, all this stuff that was just so groundbreaking that, I don't know, you felt like it was just one of a kind. Yeah, and that one

changed movies. I think we've drafted that for something before, but it, you, the twist in the Matrix at that time was a full just explosion of your brain. Like that was not in the realm of outcomes of like what is the Matrix? No, you're in it right now. Everybody's in it and you're just nothing.

Your life is not real. You're living in a computer. You're like, what? I'm in a computer, man. So I loved it. It was very high on my list. And all the graphics. It was the CGI for me. And even the lack of CGI in some of those scenes where they invented new camera systems to do the 360 shots. And it's one of those where we have to suspend reality where if we get to watch it again for the

first time, it's not. We get to watch it again for the first time It's not we get to watch it again for the first time today, but like then sure. Yeah. Yeah. All right my first pick This when I left the movie theater, I was so pumped on this movie It was like well this instantly skyrockets into like a top five movie of all time for me it After that kind of war war off it has it's it's fallen down a bit but it's still fantastic. It is inception. Christopher Nolan because that was that was a another one of those where it's a mind job and just the layers of of the dreams within the dreams going through all of the twist endings and then like at the end getting to explore uh is the main

character back in the dream is he alive you know that whole discussion i don't i need to watch that again i love an open-ended movie and the when you go back you realize there are some just massive massive plot holes and problems with the story you don don't, or at least I didn't notice my first watch through. So it was just, it was a perfect movie at that time. You're like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Yeah. See, I thought about that movie, but I actually like watching it again, knowing the kind of question at the end. So I can, I can like, I can be like, Oh man, I, now I get it more. Cause I think when I left the theater the first time,

it was like, okay, that was pretty cool, I think. Right. But what happened? Yeah, I had a bit of that too. I remember sending a, it was probably Facebook, because that was the media at the time. I was like, this is top five, it's a top five movie, you gotta go see it.

We love, by the way, just for the record, people love saying that. That something's a top five movie. You gotta go see it. We love, by the way, just for the record, people love saying that. That something's a top five? Like if something can break into your top five, man, you want to say it's in your top five. Yeah. It's fun. Alright, so then my next pick... Your next top five movie...

...is... Uh, I don't think it's a top five movie. I'm going through the list. What possibly could get snatched. So I'm going to snatch. It's a great movie. It's a pretty good movie. You like you like nugs. I'm going to go. It's another one. It's another experience. You had to be in the movie theater for it. I am I am very pro. Please release the movie at my home so I can watch it on my TV. But this one was totally worth being in the theater because 3D actually made sense for one movie and it is Avatar.

Dang it! Which that was... I am glad to hear the responses that Avatar would not have made it back. But it was like... 3D is so hokey for so many movies and for that movie it added to it. You wanted it. Yes. When that movie came out in 3D, I left the theater saying, 3D is going to be- Top five. Top five. I left the theater thinking, OK, so now that they've figured out how to actually make a true 3D movie where

it added to the film, I was like, that's just the way it's going to be. I literally went and bought a 3D TV at that time because I thought this is where media was going. Nothing has ever come out good in 3d since then. Not once. Yeah. That movie was unbelievable in 3d. Okay. That's a good pick, Mike. It would have been, uh, probably wouldn't have been my next one. So Jason might've snagged it. I was between avatar 3d and the six cents for my first pick't have been my next one, so Jason might have snagged it. I was between Avatar 3D and the Sixth Sense

for my first pick. Well, my second pick here is going to be in the same vein as The Matrix was, which was stuff I hadn't seen before that left me in awe, and it was Jurassic Park. Okay, okay. I was someone who loved dinosaurs, nobody had ever done that. There's that kind of funny juxtaposition of like the characters in the movie

and how they react to seeing dinosaurs for the first time and then the people in the actual theater seeing dinosaurs for the first time. It was a groundbreaking event with CGI and all of that. The music, the score. I'd love to see Jurassic Park with fresh eyes for the first time. It was fabulous. I remember the theater where I saw it You know so it was yeah, you have I'm in memory about that it was an influential movie, and I remember that was Like I don't it wasn't thx, but it was like they had their this huge Special sound system for it, and they this thing was that a a hundred cranked it when that dinosaur is growling the

velociraptors were Drinks in the theater we're doing the whole ripple thing. Yes All right, they cranked it up Yeah, two picks for you. Jason great great movie top five all-time for yes for sure All right, so I'm number one two picks here and I'm gonna, since I lost Avatar 3D, which was the experience, the unbelievable viewing, I'm gonna just pivot back to my first pick and the idea of seeing a movie. The seventh sense. That is kind of ruined. Like if you go watch The Lady and the Water is what he's gonna say. I'm going all M. Night Shyamalan movies here.

But you know, if you go back and watch Sixth Sense again, it's kind of ruined. You just, you already know the ending, and the ending is everything to the movie. So I'm gonna pick two more of those, and I'm just gonna lean into the twist ending movies, the other two best, craziest endings. I'm going with seven.

It's the, that was the first movie I wrote down. I mean, that movie is top five, no doubt. That is a troubling twist. Yeah, it is a, a, a. Throughout the entire movie, it is very, very troubling. The whole movie. The whole movie, don't watch it. Yeah, it is, it is dark and it is just awful. But it is... Top five.

Top five for sure. It's a fantastic movie about an awful, awful thing. And you know, what's in the box. Yeah. What's in the box. And then I'll go with something a little lighter because that's every other movie that's ever been made. I'm gonna go with the usual suspects okay which the entire movie is builds up to one finale scene revealing Kaiser. All right so six, seven and the usual suspects it's back to me? Yes it is.

So, I'm gonna go with one that does both, you know, cinematic history, you know, stuff that you're not used to seeing, and a twist. So I'm actually gonna go to Star Wars. Okay. And I'm gonna go to The Empire Strikes Back. That's fair.

Luke, I am your father. Yeah, sure. For the very first time. That reveal, it seems I am your father. Yeah sure. For the very first time that reveal it seems so like not a reveal. Yeah. Cause it's like a meme or a cliche or whatever you want to call it neither of those are right. But it's just so well known. None of us got to experience that as a reveal right? No I did not. I already knew. Everybody knew that by the in our generation like the generation before us, that was like, what? Have you heard Hamill, Mark Hamill talk about that?

Yes, I have. Of that? When he read it in the script? No, just him, he filmed it, right? So he reads it in the script, and he's like, are you serious? Talking to George about it. Oh, really?

And Hamill had to keep it secret. So Harrison Ford, so Han Solo didn't know that that was going to happen in the movie and Hamill tells the story of them going and like you have, Han Solo gets mad at him, like in real life Han Solo, but just like you why didn't you tell me why did you not tell me that this was what was gonna happen so must be so mad crazy as an actor not knowing like keeping that secret back then like when I can't imagine very many things are are a top secret like you cannot release this ending of the movie where that happens all the time now we're like in the Avengers people are given fake scripts just in case really something

slips out but like to have to sit on that secret from like like good good friends of yours you're like I can't I can't tell you this thing is that that was funny such a wild thing to hold on to all right Mike your final two picks on movies you wish you could watch again for the first time. Alright, so I'm going two very different directions with this one. A goofy movie. No, that one just gets better and better. But Mad Max Fury Road, that sounds like a strange one to say but try to remember when you saw that movie and You had like Mad Max is an interesting

Character you have the old Mel Gibson movies, but you go in Mad Max Fury Road is an anxiety attack for 90 straight minutes pretty much is Once the action starts in that movie, it doesn't ever let up, and it just keeps going and going, and you can't believe that it's still fresh, the action is still awesome. Like normally you need ebbs and flows. Like I need the up, I need the down

so that the up can be up, but this movie is just punching you in the face over and over and over. And you're like, and you liked that. Oh, I, you want that again. By the end of it, you're just, you're exhausted. That's your favorite. The movie, the movie was, was incredible. The action scenes were fantastic. You got the, the something about the draft movies you never, you wish you had never seen nine nine lives Nine lives is the one please do that on one of my scat days because I was drug to a movie theater to see that On I it cost me ten lives to see that movie Goodness gracious. I saw the movie nine lies that with the cat. Yes. Christopher Walken. It's bad. Give me some of Walken's lines from

the movie. This movie is bad. All right. So from the action to. I hope you had food during that movie. All snacks. We this movie we were just talking about it in the office and it whenever I talk about the movie it reminds me of when I saw it in the theater and the opening sequence I just couldn't stop laughing. Really. Oh I know we're going. I'm going Kung Pow. Wow. Enter the fist because there's the scene the movie opens with this where a baby ends up falling down like rolling down a mountain and it just goes on and on. I could watch babies roll down mountains for hours. It goes for like the joke just keeps going. It hits the cycle of you're like okay this is funny it's funny okay where it's it's too long now it's not, but they just keep going and it wraps around it

It is once again funny and the whole movies that way yeah the whole movie is great But I'm saying like there was there's a couple of those movies like like that one and hot rod With with Andy Samberg there was a scene in that movie that got me to where I just lost it But the beginning of come pal. I was laughing for ten that got me too where I just lost it. But the beginning of Kung Pao, I was laughing for 10, probably 10 straight minutes, can't breathe, you're sweating, you're crying, and you're happy about it.

So to relive that joy. I thought you were gonna say Hot Shots Part 2, which also did that to me. I thought you were gonna say Super Troopers. Oh, yes. Because the beginning 10 minutes of that movie are unbelievable. They're very, very good too. But here's the cool thing. This whole Kung Pao, what is Pao was that enter the fist is that the full name of it?

Yes, I have never seen it. Yes, so I literally get to like I need to I highly recommend it I'm gonna watch this I'm gonna watch this movie cuz I've seen a clip or two and they were both Hilarious I get to watch it for the first time. I think you enjoy just stupid stupid Comedy you will have a great time watching this movie. So I find drafting my fourth pick here very difficult because I have like three or four that makes sense here But I'm gonna go with a an off the beaten path path movie Join me and and yes. Yes

Because it is funny, endearing, okay, a unique plot, and really kind of what I consider to be a perfect movie. Bambi. No, you're gonna, you're not gonna believe it though. But genuinely, The Truman Show is my answer. Oh, I thought The Truman Show is one of the best kind of just look, it's not groundbreaking in the sense that you're not watching like, I don't know, a Marvel movie or some Matrix, but just from I laughed, I cried, all of that stuff. I think that movie is spectacular. Top five? Top five movie, yeah, obviously. You know, good evening, good afternoon, and good night good night it's funny this whole top five bit that we're doing is funny because I'm looking at my list and thinking about what I thought when I saw a lot of these movies

this one I'm about to draft I literally but both seven and this I came out of the movie theater saying top five we love doing that we absolutely love doing and everybody's got a top five that has about 20 to 30 movies in it. That's right. 100%. It's definitely in my top five. But I am going to draft a top five movie here. And it's another Brad Pitt movie. I already have seven.

Oh, are you going Fight Club? I am going Fight Club. That makes sense. When that movie came out, it's another movie that's got kind of a big twist at the end. It's like whoa but then the whole movie is fantastic it's the opening sequence was great it's so funny meatloaf is i mean when meatloaf is a star of the movie you know it's good yeah very very deep a whole bunch of underlying things the uh my biggest memory of Fight Club is I went to see it with the

friends and whenever that came out I mean we were either like. So in the movie theater. Yeah. Oh you're older than me. Well I was going to say I was either just of age or just under and wasn't supposed to. We had the friends who worked at the movie theater. Oh yeah. Right. We were basically 18 year olds. Okay. came out in 99. Okay. So yeah, so 16 but whatever close enough 17, but I mean there's this is a this is a grown-up movie What's rated are by the way is that 17 and above 18? Yeah. No, I should be 17. Oh for real. Yeah All right, then I was legal but Fight Club is a very rated R movie and If you recall there's it's a it's an intense grown-up movie

and I'm telling my parents like oh well what'd you do well I went and saw Fight Club I thought it was great yada yada so they're like okay they go and see Fight Club Oh no! Yes! No Mike! And they're like you liked that movie? Oh man! And I'm like oh no! No I didn't of course not they forced me to go I said fight Clab You saw the wrong movie. That was not a fun conversation That's too funny teenage Mike three movies. I'm gonna throw out there that were in my list Dark Knight Okay. Yeah, yeah with Heath Ledger. It felt like an event The comedy I chose was Tommy boy

Because that's one of my he just hit me at that right age. Yep, and then what was the one? He had all Raiders of the Lost Ark was okay. Yeah, I had ace Ventura on there for oh Yeah, the funny movie that I would love to see again for the first time Harry Potter just because when that finally came out as Someone that read the books, that was an experience. When the first one came out, were you already a full book nerd? I was full book nerd. All the books were not out yet when that first one came out.

That was a hard one because the anticipation was so great, but I didn't think the movie was that good. The movie is not that great, but the experience was good. Yeah, that makes sense. And then the Prestige. Prestige is on my list. Yeah, it makes sense. And then the prestige. Oh yeah. Prestige is on my list. Yeah, it was great.

It's another one of those twists. Which is like. You like the twists. Well, if I'm gonna watch it over for the first time, I love experience. Love the twists, and it's all the Nolan movies. Interstellar's on my list, and these are movies that he's really good at making a thought provoking

in a movie that you have an emotional response to, and then you go back and you watch, you go, that he's really good at making a thought-provoking movie that you have an emotional response to, and then you go back and you watch, you go, why didn't the character just do this one thing, and then you're like, why? Movie's over. Why are you doing this to yourself? He solved it.

But he makes good movies. All right, any others that you guys wanna mention? Al, do you have anything? Do you ever watch movies? You ever seen a movie before? I've seen some movies. The nice thing is this list now, he can go watch all of these for the first time.

Yeah, he's never seen them. Anybody ever seen the movie Frequency before? Oh yeah. Frequency, the, Oh I like that. Jim Caviezel and That's a father-son movie. Robert Quaid?

Yeah, Robert Quaid. Yeah, I think it's one of them. No, Dennis Quaid, Dennis Quaid. It's a Quaid. It's one of them. The Deucers were chatting a little bit before we actually did the draft. I had said that Sixth Sense would be my 101

and there was a consensus in the office that Memento would also be there. Oh no, Memento! That movie was great. It's very confusing. I love that movie. I think Memento is also Nolan if I'm... Is it really?

Yeah, I think it is Nolan, yeah. Yes. Now he's willing to confuse you. Yes. And you leave pretending you know what happened so your friends still think you're smart. Which Nolan, like everything he worked for got into, did you guys see Tenet? Yes.

I saw part of it, man. I gave up. I have, I saw it in the theater. Too far, Nolan, too far. And then I saw it at home so I could turn the subtitles on so I could make sure I know exactly what it's being, no, no idea, no idea. And for the record, Dunkirk's one of the worst

movie experiences I've ever had in my life. Oh no, that's the only one I haven't seen. Dunkirk was going to a movie theater to watch Sand and have the sound turned up too high. It was so bad. It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen in theater. Really? One of the longest. This is where I checked the Rotten Tomatoes. I don't know if it got great reviews. Did it win Best Picture or something? No, no. Oh 92%. I dare you to watch it. Okay, 81% audience so you're. No, I dare you to watch it.

Okay, 81% audience, so you're a small minority. I want you to watch it, but it is important to me that you put headphones on and turn it up too loud, because that's the experience I had. That's not Nolan's fault! No, he put some wild sounds in that movie. It did in fact win Best Picture in 2018. Dunkirk? Yes, Best Director, Best Picture, Best Production Design, Best Original Score, Best Cinematography. movie it did in fact win best picture in 2018 yes best director best picture best production design best original score the cinematography I have not have you

seen it no but it's not five I want I want you to watch it that would be a good to me I'll tell you what if carve out four hours it's between Dunkirk and Kung Pao and I'm watching Kung Pao, baby. All right, well, I would recommend that. What did we learn today? I learned that I use my pinkies for typing, and that matters to me. I learned a new way, genuinely, to spell the word neighbors. Oh, let's check the old email.

Oh, yeah, yeah, we need an update there. Anything? Any naberly alert? I also learned there's two ways to spell arithmetic. Yeah. Are that I'm one and a half ways to say thank you and I learned that fellas just bite the bullet go go tell the spouse that you know yeah some family photos my idea our idea well we'll have to check in see if you ever replies next episode of the Spitballers. Thanks for tuning in, supporting the show.

Check out jointhespit.com. Catch you next time. Tell your friends. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com