Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Making Facts & Words People Struggle to Spell - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

It’s another hilarious episode of the Spitballers Podcast. Join in on the laughs as we get into a big debate over top-speed dragons, play a round of Guess Guess Goose and wrap things up with a Words People Struggle to Spell draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Ruda Bega, Marmalade, alligator, hey now, but dingy. All right, okay, Rudy Bega. My, that was really good. My father is going to be unbelievably excited.

Has he used that word a lot? All the time. Routabega? Yeah, you know, like the jokes for the kids, like, he would, he did, it used to be like, I'm going to get you a Ruta Bega sandwich. Oh, that would he, he goes with that. Yeah. Ruta Bega.

Yeah, he, Ruda Bega was his like go-to fun. Not a nonsense bird, but, you know, it's a funny, silly word. He listens to this show, so he's going to... Did you have any of that prepped? Or you just went. No, I thought about some words, longer words that rhyme, because I know we're drafting, words you can never spell correctly.

I could never spell Rudebaker. I'm not even sure how to say it. You definitely didn't say it right. There was an R at the end of the last time I said it. Rudebaker. You said it like it's a car. Is it not a car? A Ruta Bega?

No, that's a fruit or a vegetable. A rootabag is not a car? No. It's funny that you said it like a car because you're like a car. because you're like, he's driving a Chevy Routabaker. I thought that was, I thought a Routabager was the like Winnebago? The car truck. There's a Studebaker.

What's the car truck? It's a Studebaker. Studebaker. Of course, Josh would know. He had one. The car truck. That's not a Routabager? No.

What is a Ruta Bago? A Ruda Bago is a large, it grows in the ground. Round, organic vegetable. Well, I'll be. Let me write down what I learned today. How does it? One spell. You cannot drive a Ruta Bega.

A Ruta Bega is a cross between a cabbage and a turnip. It looks awful. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't taste good, but it rhymes well. Okay. With marmaladea. Ruta Bega.

Am I right? So now marmalade, I can get behind that. There ain't no way this spell right. Take a shot? What did you do? I did R.H. Nope. Okay.

That's out. But the ending was worse at the beginning, Mike. Welcome into the spitballers. We have, would you rather. guess, guess goose in which I am the goose today, and we are drafting words that you can never spell correctly. So that will be our draft at the end of today's show. You can follow the show over on X-Hat Spittballers Pod. Shout out to all the spitwads out there supporting the show, following the show, reviewing the show, and telling their friends about it. We appreciate

all of you. Here we go. Would you rather? All right. Ben. from Patreon writes in would you rather have Thor's Hammer Captain America's Shield or Iron Man suit Now I feel like we need to remove one

You need to remove well hold up You know which one I'm saying The suit yeah yeah because That is uh It feels like a different category I can fly with Thor's hammer I can do that with Iron Man suit Yeah I'm fully protected

I can fire laser beams You can throw Thor's hands hammer and then wait for it to come back or you can fire 800 missiles from the suit. I feel like you got to take that one out. It's too good. Thor's hammer, Captain America's Shield. We also have to make sure that it is clear that we are able to lift Thor's hammer. You are worthy. Okay.

Thank you, Mike. No, I'm saying in this. No, I heard you. No, for this example. Am I worthy as well? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, we're all worthy to hold. So what's the deal with, give me, give me the like, uh, one.

sent in summary of these items because I am not a nerd like you guys. The shield. Captain Mary's Shield. Is there something? They both, you can throw them and they come back to you? It's indestructible and somehow does not follow the laws of physics on returning to you. Both items. Well, Thor's Amory is recalled.

He brings it back. Okay. There's no magic. There's no magic in the shield. It's just made out of a material which always bothered me that when you threw it, it came back. Because I'm like, that material doesn't just mean it comes back to you? What you don't know about Captain America, He is an expert at trigonometry. Oh, is that it?

He calculates all the angles in real time. Dude, if he played billiards, oh, my goodness, you clean up. So boomerang style, it comes back. Sort of, yeah. Or it literally, because it's indestructural, it ricochets in such a way that it does end up back in his hand. This is a dumb question because it's like, this is a keep trade cut, easy addition question because it's like, okay, no one wants the shield. No, the shield, if I wanted to like ski down a mountain, that's the best one of the three. If the question was, what would you like to ski down a mountain on?

You would probably still take the suit and then you go shield. The suit's out. We only get to choose the other two. One seems more mighty. The hammer's much more mighty. Is Thor, I've never thought about this till now. Does Thor fly or does Thor throw the hammer? and ride it and he just holds on and then the hammer pulls him that would be a real problem if

if you had to have that kind of grip strength which i'm sure thor has but if we tried to fly with that he is a god if we tried to fly it would just be like i'm falling i got to look into this there's no way that there is a concrete answer on that mike it's comic books there has to be canon about this okay well you you let us know i i do yeah there it is chat gpt thor doesn't exactly fly in his own he throws Molnir, and with incredible force, then he holds on to the leather strap. So he basically has to have good grip strength. Yeah. That makes Thor's hammer much worse, because now I just learned I cannot fly with Thor's hammer.

I, one of the problems I have- Oh, you could, but your arm's going to go with the hammer. Yeah, my arm will be ripped from the socket, because he's got that leather strap around the wrist. Oh, my good. Jeremy, his hammer has a name. Of course his hammer has a name. Oh, come on, man. Goodness.

And not only that, but you said it so well. Thank you. Million names. I can never say it. Yes. Oh, what is it, Jay? Milnear. Meal near.

I'm going to add that to words people can't spell. Yeah. Look, one of the problems I always have. It's still a words people can't say draft because milnier is in there. You know what else is on there, Jay? Huh. The actor from Robin Hood Men in Tights. Carrie Ellers.

Carrie Ellies. Yeah. And Rudebaker. Stop with the R at the end. Here's my problem with magic and superheroes Is they always have really amazing abilities But they don't use them all the time That's the problem with every single movie

I even think of like Like Lord of the Rings Like Gandalf comes back He's white He comes out in the mountain He's got all this power But he's real old And then they get into a bunch of trouble

But why do you not use the power all the time? Why don't you just use? Because he's old, he gets tired They have to summon it at a certain time Every time you have superhero movies Where the powers get too powerful there's nothing but plot holes i remember watching there was an mbc show called heroes you guys ever i did that first season was great the first season was great because they didn't have to answer

anything they just got to ask mysterious questions oh and then they got real bad then they had a time traveler in yeah and then it was like the whole show's stupid because you can fix everything like you can literally oh we're in this problem no problem all right what problem now we're not give me the hammer ah man i'd final answer i will take the suit no you're saying i can't take well then of course it's the hammer all right mike i think i don't need to block a bunch of things well you can hit with it but a hammer's better for that yeah and there's the lightning stuff yeah i can call lightning do you get to you get the lightning with the hammer yeah i feel like it's a gray area but if i get the lightning then i'm taking the hammer yeah we're

jacob from the website would you rather always sleep in a gilden t-shirt oh oh with a solid sleep block of screen printing on the front of it oh or always sleep with shoes and socks on what is this question this is a good question man this is a question gilden known for their thick those t-shirts are thick they're hot they're scratchy it's amazing because they are the combination of like the cheapest thing you can buy with the most material possible oh yeah they are they are losing money. I don't know how they can make. Some shirts are breathable. Some are solids. Do you think that if we

lived somewhere completely like Siberia? Right. Yeah. Maybe we would have a little bit more respect for Gilden T-shirts because it's like this can keep you warm. I would say yes, but there's no way to size them right. So the air would still blow through because they'd be oversized. That's true. And if it's undersized, a lot of times you could just stretch into it. There ain't no stretch in a Gildon.

Sox and shoes on Zero way stretch Have you slept with shoes on I'm sure you have I've fallen asleep with shoes on I wouldn't prefer that But I could I could Become accustomed to that

I mean on your bed Yeah Under the blanket Under the blanket A pair of boots with crampons But you sleep with those What was that? What was the last word You said?

Cramon? I gotta know my audience I am really curious I'm sure the deuce is Go to the old guy Yeah Wait a minute Al

Do you not know what that is? I have no idea I looked at Jason like you were speaking. Papa Josh knows what I'm talking about. They're the spikes that you put on the bottom of boots for ice climbing. Thank you. Okay. Well, that's great.

That's great. I thought it was something else. They don't just call them spikes. Nah, they go crampons. Okay. Why? What? Yeah.

Crampons. Is it a very, like, a very specific. Yeah, there's a secret brand. You got a, you got a, you got a, yes, exactly. That's what it sounds like. Do they make any. with wings, like on the side of your, so that you can fly with these

boots? So these are the ones that look like the monster toe nails. Yes. You know what crampons are. Oh, I've used them. I was just saying it would be bad to sleep with them. You've used those? I have. When did you have to wear ice boots spikes? I hopped on a glacier, brother. Somebody probably

offered you crampons. You're like, no, thank you. I'll take the boots. I'll take the boots. The spikes were way more expensive. Um, but yeah. Never mind. All of that. Your shoes and socks is dirty, it's nasty, it's uncomfortable. You could sleep, though.

So what's funny is I have a very difficult time. Now, I don't often try to fall asleep with shoes and socks on, so I don't know for sure. But I have actively tried to take naps a hundred times before where I'm just still wearing my clothes. And I just about can't. I got to take my shirt off. What about the chair, the recliner? Yeah, I mean. You're not taking your clothes off on the reclars.

No, no. If I'm out in about, if I don't have a blanket, if I'm not in a bed, I would probably feel more comfortable. Just you walk in on me in the recliner. You're just in the living room. I feel like the second you take a shirt off, that's not a nap anymore. That's sleep. Yeah. What if that's really, I, if I take a two hour shirtless sleep, that's not a nap. Are you sick? No, not sick. You're not sick. Are you? Are you. did you not sleep the night before? Of course. I mean, yes. I don't know. A nap, you should be able to drift off into a nap. You don't prep for it that way. That's too much prep.

You don't, you can't. You can prep. Time for a nap. I'm on my napping clothes. I'm driving home going when I get home, I'm a nap. There's a premeditated nap. I'm a premeditated napper. I just mean for more of like, if I prepped that much, I'm not waking up in an hour. Well, I don't, yeah. I mean, if it's a 20 minute nap, it's maybe a little foolish. take the shirt off, but then I won't get to sleep. I won't get to sleep if I leave the shirt on. I've tried. So your wife could look at you and know how long you're going to nap just by the amount of

clothes you have left on. She'd be like, oh, three pieces are gone. That's an hour and a half. Does my memory recall that you sleep in a shirt every night? No. Okay, good. My memory checks out. That is how it always works. I have slept in a shirt. Very poor memory. Math checked out. My memory remembers how good my memory is. Sometimes they do. Yeah, sometimes I'll sleep with a shirt on. Like a light cotton shirt, not a gilden. Right. No, that's sleeping in a...

That's like a bat suit. That's like a wetsuit even. You're just sleeping in something that's... Rather like, sleep... Steal wool. Sleep on a cheese grater. I'm gonna... I don't know.

Like, you're basically saying that a shirt on at all while you sleep is a problem. Yeah. Mike and you are... What's your percentages here? Are you shirt on most of the time? I'll go shirt off. We'll go 80, 20. off 80?

Yeah. Okay. So then 80% that's four out of five nights. What happens that one night? Yeah, like I'm leaving this on. That means I just

happened to lay down in my shirt is comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. So you're not changing into a shirt too sleep. No, no, no, no. Oh, so that never happens. No, this is the shirt that I had on today.

Okay. You laid down, you fell sleep ski. Yes. Got it. I, yeah, I have no idea how to maintain temperature while sleeping. I'm unawares of the way to do it. Your body temperature regulation has really fallen off. It really has, Andy.

I don't know if you know this. This has nothing to do with sleep. You can't regulate your temperature 24 hours a day. Like Andy goes in and out of a fever about every five minutes. I have learned, like, I spent the last, what, we've done this 11 years. 10 and a half of them was whiny Jason about how it's not cold enough. Finally, I want it cold every once in a while. In the last 45 minutes, I've seen them turn off two thermostats.

You're 100% right. It's not a joke. I got caught. Both of them. Our office and when we went to lunch, I was like, this cold in here. At lunch, you turned it off and in our office. I saw it. You saw both of those.

I saw both. And you're a shell of your former self, literally and figuratively. You have siphoned off that heat retention. and heat creation because you are sweating like we have fans in our studio for me I don't use them anymore they're over by handy yeah yeah and he turns them on oh man I freeze my wife out of the bedroom I mean you you really I need to see a doctor really need to see a doctor all right what's the final answer there the gilden shirt or there's shoes I'll do the shirt the shirt I can't put shoes under a blanket no no no no

Taylor from Patreon, which would you rather be granted a single 15-minute ride on, okay? Okay. Falcour. Okay. That's the dog white, white dog flying thing. Toothless, the, uh, the, uh, the dragon, much, much faster. Is it a night, uh, night, night, night fury, night fury. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

You're making assumptions about Falcour's top speed? I'm making facts about the fact that a dragon. I'm making fact. What is Falcour? There's your title for the show. I'm pretty sure Falcour is a dragon, right? He's a luck dragon. He's a luck dragon.

He's a dog. He's got the dog in him, but he's a dragon. Nah, he's a flying fluffy dog. He's an aerodynamic skinny dog dragon. It could go so fast, I bet. Yeah, I don't know if we can get a real top speed. Where is Reddit? Reddit has to have figured this out.

Well, listen, I didn't even get to the other two. Aladdin's Flying Carpet Oh, terrifying. Screw that. Because you fall? Dude, you got one little tiny place to sit? I have always thought. I have always thought. You aren't sitting either.

You're on, you're on knee. It holds on to you. If you fall, it swoops under and gets you. It's the only... When I fall, when all of us fall. If he goes, like, more than 10 miles an hour, you're like, oh, crap, I'd fell again. You're doing a good job getting through that whole, like,

Volcano thing. A cave of wonder. A cave of one nurse. But, okay, continue, there's one more. And then one more, the Nimbus 2000, which is, I've always stopped flying around on the, on the broomstick was also a little bit like the. Pretty terrible. But you really. Do they got stirrups nerds?

Yeah. They do? They do. There's little foot paddles. I don't know that they call them stirrups. Also, that thing isn't, that's the only one of these. It can't catch you. It can't.

You make a mistake. You're dead. Falcour's alive. Toothless is alive. The carpet's alive. Yeah. Or at least that's 2000, you fall off, it just keeps flying. You don't know you're down there.

No, no, that one's out. Someone else has to get you. I think that one's out. AI overview, toothless, the night fury from how to train your dragon, could fly significantly faster than Falcour, the luck dragon. Based on what? Probably the hair drag. It can't just say it.

While Falcour could cover great distances, toothless is an explicitly supersonic species built for speed. Boom! Toothless go supersonic. Dudeless go look at Falcour can. or's face. That thing does, it's wind resistance. Yeah. There is some wind resistance. He can barely keep his eyes open

when he's flying. He's like, he's got those big lids are I don't. Falcour can't fly fast. I don't stand for this Falcour slander. I mean, to be fair, Jason did say he was making facts and he used the AI properly to do so. Yeah. Nevertheless, top speed

is not the only thing that matters. Okay. But top speed is pretty important. Let me break it down further. Toothless, the Night Fury, at least 750 miles an hour. He's repeatedly shown breaking the sound barrier, which requires exceeding 767 miles an hour. What? I dare you to be on that thing. Falkor.

Unknown, but likely very slow. That's what it says. Based off of what? He's portrayed as a calm serpentine being whose long distance travels. Oh, calm people can't go fast now? Notable to its duration, not its velocity. Now, Toothless has a prosthetic tail fin, right? Correct.

That's a weakness. Yeah. So you're out first because I get to help control it. Tail fin is fully organic. I mean, that's an easy. You are cruising in style. There is an easy answer here. No, you're not bump. There are no bumps.

You're bumping on purpose if you want to bump. Yeah. If you're riding on Toothless, you're going to be just, it's going to be shaky and uncomfortable. There's absolutely no question which one we would. I'll take. Yeah, I'm taking Falkhorn. Of course we're taking the flying dog. Okay.

Like, I don't want to go 750 miles an hour out in the wind. I mean, one bug would rip right through my skull. No way. I literally typed, can you survive at 750 miles per hour? And it finished, the Google finished with on Night Fury. No. Yes. No.

Like the, the, listening to us? It might be listening. I just don't know if you could actually survive. open air at the speed of sound. I mean, the fighter pilots have the oxygen and everything, right? I mean. Okay, we're going to Cadillac. Falcour is like, you can lay down.

You know what I mean? You can lay down and you're just enveloped in fur. Yeah, no, that is cozy. Now, Josh, this came out right in your prime. With Falcour specifically... It's a funny joke because it's a hundred percent true. What's the personality like? I mean, there's no better character to define Josh's childhood than Falcour.

I mean, is this a nice, a nice dragon? Dude, Falcour is awesome. Like, he's, like, pure and honest and good? Yeah. Okay. Because he looks like you could eat me. That's all I'm asking. Night Fury ain't going to eat me.

He's like Clifford. He could eat you, but it's not going to. I got a response that's not going to help my case. Okay, let's hear it. Falkor's slower than most common cars. I said, how fast can Falcourt flies? You're not far off. Really?

You know, yada, yada. That said, some fan sources and not. Well, descriptions suggest he can fly faster than the fastest horse. He's two horsepower. That's barely flying. That's barely flying. I'm pretty sure that, Jay, that one horse is not one horsepower. Really?

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. I feel like the label is wrong then. Because I feel like one horse should be one horsepower. It should. The power of one horse. that's fair i mean it is how we called something uh falcourt is there a feeding issue there he's got to eat a lot more than the night fury for sure he does he's gigantic and that yeah but it's

just kibble the car yeah you just got to go to are we are we minimizing the magic carpet in the sense that that is like you can just have that on you it can be with you all the time i want you to imagine something i want you to imagine this this table in front of you okay is the magic carpet This is way bigger than the magic carpet. Now it lifts up into the air straight, just 20 feet. Yeah. How are you feeling? I'm gonna sit down.

Now it starts taking off to the side. Like, there's nothing to hang on to. Aladdin didn't have any training. He took care of it. Yeah, but he's a street rat. He's a cartoon. And I'm not. Yeah, street rats, they're jumping from building to building.

Yeah, he was doing all parkour. He's like doing crazy stuff, man. Dude, I couldn't go up to the edge of one of that street rats buildings and even look over the side. He does jump. jump around on a lot of fabrics. He's got to get away. You know what I mean? Also update.

Real horse can actually produce much more than one horsepower in short bursts. A fit draft horse can hit 10 to 15 horsepower. That's not okay. It's not okay for the animal itself to produce more animal power than itself. Got to talk to James Watt.

The only way that that would make sense is if it was a pregnant horse. That I'll let you get away with it. If it's a pregnant horse, you can have up to two horsepower. Yeah, for sure, right? Yeah, that makes sense. Goodness. Yeah, I'm riding slow and low on Falcourt. Goodness. Things are screaming by you. So, you know, birds are zipping by. We're back to horsepower. James Watt in the 18th century, he marketed the steam engine by comparing it to the power output of that of a horse. So how is it not one horse? He makes measures. This is

two horsepower. He just found like a real. He just found like a real. weak horse for the barometer test? It was a runt horse? Yeah, it's like, I just got three legs. He was on the way out. If his name's Watt, did he also come up with measuring Wots? No, I bet he was jealous. He's like, I'm going to make my own.

All right, Al, are we moving on? What are we doing? Yeah, let's move on. Okay. What time is it? Game time. Apparently, it is Goose or guest guest goose. It is Goose for you. I am Goose Goose goose goose. I look great with the goose hat on. Very warm. That'll be good for me. I guess I lost last time. We're playing guest, guess, guess goose. Did we play this before?

Yeah. Then you lost. I believe Jason was double goose. Were you? My joke is not good. No, it wasn't. But when the goose came out, I was so happy that it wasn't mine. And to be honest, I expected him to hand it to me. And with your memory, you might not have known. You could have got away with it.

Ow, why don't you explain to our fine listening audience how we play guest, guess, guess, goose? All right. And to us. Sure. We have a percentage of people that agreed to one side. Yes. I'm killing it. agreed to one side or the other of a fact

and four points if you guess the exact percentage two points if you are within you're doing so good I know I'm going to two points if you are within 5% in each direction of the correct percentage and the other two people who are not guessing will guess higher or lower and if they are correct they get one point so basically just play along

figure it out yeah yeah are you sweating right now dear not currently all right so I I asked the question first. Yes. I'm the start. And you will guess. Oh, I remember this game. Yeah.

You're back. I remember. I remember when you said the chin strap on the goose is pretty tight? It's pretty tight. I don't know how Mike cannot wear that strap. No. No, he needs a pop a goose to wear upon his head. All right.

What percentage of people consider 60 degrees Fahrenheit to be T-shirt weather? Oh, this is a good question after what we said earlier. What's the same? So I set the line here. 60 degrees Fahrenheit to be T-shirt weather. So 60 degrees. Do I consider that to be T-shirt weather? I don't think I do.

That's light jacket weather. So I'm going to say, I'm going to set the line. I'm going to go 42%. Oh, all right. I've got my answer. Do we need to write it down? So now for those. We'll just be, we'll just be many.

So Jason and Mike have to lock in whether they believe the true answer is higher or lower than 42%. You are claiming 42% of people consider 60 degrees to be T-shirts. Yes, because I believe that at least that many places are cold weather. And cold weather people think 60 degrees is definitely T-shirt weather. I think this might be low. Interesting. So I'm taking the lower for sure because my number that I put it at. But I'm from the hot area.

Let Mike lock in. I'm going higher. Okay. Mike's higher. Jason's lower. What's the answer? The correct answer is 44%. Oh my goodness

But I get a point No No you got it wrong Mike gets a point And he gets two points Wait I thought he was 42 Yeah and 44 is In fact higher

Oh darn But I was on the lower side You were And I chose lower If it were 40 you would have got a point Yeah it's like the rules What a guess So wow I get the

What like two points Two points That is correct Man I feel like I should get more than that That was so close All right Mike it's your turn All right, I'm up. What percentage of people would generally rather clean the toilet than wash the dishes?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. We've talked about this a lot on this show that people don't like to clean the toilet, which... Are you Googling, Jason? No, I'm not Googling. I think it's silly because cleaning the toilet is, well, feels a bit gross. It's very fast. That job is done real quick.

What percentage would rather clean the toilet and wash the dishes? I'm going to set it. I'm going to go, you'd rather clean the toilet. I bet it's 30% of people. 30% of people. All right. All right. I have my answer locked in.

I'm going, so in my mind, I was right there with you. I had it locked down at 33%. But that would be over, so I'm taking this slight over. I'm taking lower. I think toilet, when people hear this on the interview, they'd say no toilet. I'm happy with my number. I split you. Yeah, you guessers are on fire.

Mike, you were also two points away. It was 32%. Yes. So Jason was higher. Don't get it. Oh, my God. All right. Oh, wow.

Yes, sir. That was crazy. We're on fire. If Jason doesn't do it, he's the one that sucks the most. I'll be wearing a goose. So we got Mike with three, Andy with two, Jason with one. We're in for a battle here. All right.

My question, what percentage of people prefer to play board games instead of video games? That's a great question. Wow. That's a tough one. That is tough. All right. I'm going to say, foof, is it the majority? What percentage of people prefer to play board games instead of video games?

I'm going to, all right. I'm going to go 55%. Ooh. Okay. That's, I mean. That button doesn't work, Jay. 55.

You're at 55%? I'm at 55%. Let me know when you're ready to lock. Okay. In my mind, I was like, they would rather play board games. I was like,

man, I think most, I think most women would be on the board game side than the, it's just that I know. It's just who's polled. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah.

Age group. Age. I'm locked in. I'm locked in as well. All right. I'm going lower. I'm going lower. I had it at 50.

50, 50, is where I had it. I'm going to go in the 40s. All right. What do we got? The correct answer is 37%. Andy and Mike each end up with a point there. Excellent.

Jason with nothing. I'm in a bad position right now. We still got three whole rounds left, though. You're in good shape. We're halfway through the game. We got Mike with four, Andy with three, Jason with one. Yeah, I got one. All right.

What? Congratulations. Percentage of people have heard noises in the middle of the night and gotten up to explore their homes with a weapon. So, I know I'm one of those people. I know I'm one of those people. But how many people are they asking that are children? And I mean, in a weapon, I mean, that could be anything.

That could be a little pocket knife, a baseball bat. A nine mil. A sock full of pennies. Hold on, let me feel this. I keep it. What else is there to do with pennies? Come on. I feel like this percentage is pretty high.

I'm going to go I'm going to go 77% Oh Locked in Too high I will take the lower Yeah I was I was wondering which way I was going to go Until he went 70%

The correct answer is 35% Yeah yeah yeah Oh that was one of the easy Can he get minus points for that I thought if you're more than 50 points off I thought the better question Was what percentage of people have heard noises in the middle of the night

and pretended they didn't hear it and went back to sleep. I was a little high, huh? That would be 100%. We're not ever in your life, huh? A little bit. No. I have. I have as well.

I have not. But again, if you ask. No, Papa Josh, never once in your life. What? Brandy never said, get up, grab the gun. That blows my mind. That blows my mind. I would have thought you were second in this room in wake up.

It still would have been 60% in this room. I mean, you literally, do you have a knife on you right now? no wait yes I do yeah exactly the fact that exactly the fact that you've never got up to check for something in the middle of the night and grabbed like your little pocket night we have dogs so

I got dogs I know but they would bark if there was something sometimes it's their barking it gets me up to go check with a weapon they're not attack dogs you've bought so many cool weapons too I feel like you would do it even if it was irrational like you'd be like let me get my cool weapon out this is a chance this is a chance to use this

it's a Damascus knife that's it That's it. All right. I woofed that one. Everyone, thank you. I'm glad everyone's safe. Mike, your turn.

Oh, this is fabulous. What percentage of people have at least one expired item in the fridge right now? Ooh, I hope that is 100% to make me feel better. I don't know what percentage is too high to go with. 77. No, I don't think 77 is high. enough. Uh, you have an expired item in the fridge right now. I, but this is, uh, never mind. You, yeah, let your number. No, please share your information with. I will share it after

you lock in your number. Uh, let's go, uh, 85, 85%. All right, I'm locked. I'm trying to make a number that it's hard for you guys to go the other direction. Yeah, I'm, I'm locked that I'm going to go lower just because of the odds of, you know, I get 85% chance. I'm locked. I'm, chance to be i'm going lower as well yeah when you come on 85 it's got to be there the correct answer is 82 percent oh man what mike gets two you the other guys each get one but i was trying to bully them off of it it was a good line i was at 80 and i snuck up to 85 now if the if the question was pure domination right now yeah you you are dominating what percentage of people have at least so this is this is an unfair question because it says what percentage of people have at least

one expired item in the fridge right now. The answer to that is 100. 100%. I promise you. Unless you just went through it last night, you have something... No, some people are very fastidious. They know what's in their fridge. You're fastidious. I promise if I go to your house right now, I will find some condiment that is expired, that you just haven't checked in a little bit. I would say you'd probably find that in about 18% of people's houses.

But my point is like, the question should be what percentage of people think they have at least one expired thing in their fridge? We only take opinions on this. game from people not in last place. All right. Moving on. Jason, you have to hit this one,

by the way. Your only way to not be the goose is you have to hit the percentage. I've got to be within 5%. Yeah, you have to. No, no. Yeah. Because I'm a point.

Oh, yes. I'm a point up on him. Okay. I mean, there's no way for me to lose points, but you could pass me here. All right. You just are really smart.

My question. What percentage of people at this very moment have more than five magnets. Wow. On their fridge. More than five? more than five magnets. If I lose this one, I'm destined to lose on their fridge. This is tough. Yeah. It could be anywhere between one to a hundred. Right now. Do you all have the fridge where like the magus don't stick to the front anymore? I do. I do. Yeah. I'm pretty

they stick to the side. Yeah, they stick to the side for sure. But more than five? I have more than five. I have more than five. I do. I wish I could, but I can't. Man. You have more than five on the side or on the front? Oh, on the side. My side's not visible, man. I don't feel like magnets are in anymore. Well, because you don't have them. It's like, yeah, because I don't have it. Magnets are so hot right now. You have bumped me up, Mike. You have bumped me up. I hope one percentile.

Two percentile. Oh. I'm going to skip my favorite number. I'm going to go to 12 percent. You think 12 percent of people? I think only 12 percent of people have. Okay. First of all. More than five. That's six. The old fridges still exist. Let me ask a question. If we happen to tie if he gets it close enough and I happen

to not score or I do score and we tie is there a sudden death or am I the goose again? I'll grab a I'll grab a tie We've done a sudden death before. I'm going higher I'm going higher too. All the matters is I'm within five. The correct answer

17 or lower. It's going to be like 70% Jason. It's going to be like 77%. Yeah! Just because you don't have it don't mean everybody in the world, don't. Oh, there are 8. No way! Examine your personal biases.

There's no way. I remember when he said I had said, no way! That he would lose points. I told you. I got him. I tried to help you. I tried to help you. I tried to help.

Get this bad dog off of here. I'm putting a pull up right now and see if I'm, you're going to be sorely disappointed. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my Lanta. 12%? Well, let me ask you this, Jay. Is that the worst guess this game has ever had? It is.

If I told you, 80, let's say 90% of people have a magnetic front of their fridge. You're telling me you don't think that they have magnets on it? I'm on it. No, you're on it. You're on it 12% of the time. Oh, man. So do you have none? I have none.

I think we might have one thing on the side. When you had a fridge with a front with magnets. Absolutely not. No. You didn't have more than five? It's so ugly. No, it's disgusting. It's disgusting.

If you're listening to Home right now. and you've got like a bunch of bangers on your fridge, grow up. Oh my God. But they hold the papers. It's really nice for like schedule. Or it's like the kids' drawings. Do you ever get like not knowing what your kids are going to do at school, like the schedule? Oh, yeah.

We love to put our calendar on our refrigerator. Get out of here. Wow. This dude. This dude right now. Where do you put it? We put it on a wall where it belongs behind a pantry door. He's battling against 77% of people. There's a hundred better places than on.

the fridge. Gross. Did you win? I'm still trying to post, but you guys keep asking. No, no. What's the final score? Oh, did I win the game? The final score is Mike with eight, Andy with five, Jason with three. Congrats, Mike. That's a perfect score.

We'll draft now. I am You're waiting I am so angry I saw you just tweeted this out Yeah Did he bias it? Well he said six or more

Fact That's what it was More than five or more No it was more than five Oh did you say six or more? Do you have six or more It's identical I apologize you are correct

Dude I am pissed right now I am on fire Because there's no way Because it's a wrong answer They got the They got the answer And then what they did Is they did the math wrong

And they thought everyone who said no said yes i'm letting you know we're 100 votes in and we're at 72% yes dude what is happening what is happening this is impossible that's insane you guys what was the number on the game it was 77 77 oh it's right there it's right what is wrong with people what's wrong with you yeah that's the truth absolutely get back at the magnet game man They're nice. Oh, my gosh. They stick without glue.

It's awesome. Oh, my gosh. This is so gross. Oh, are you prepared to draft because we're drafting? I'm prepared to leave this earth. Look, we are drafting words that you can never spell correctly. I have the first pick. I don't know what in the world is the right pick in a draft like this.

So I'm going to go with. Sure. I'm going to go with pneumonia. Oh. I'm going to go with pneumonia. I think sometimes people really need to write it and they choose not to. That's what I think. Because sometimes the longer word, you look the dumbest when you get them wrong. Okay. I spell that wrong.

Oh, I have no chance. P-N-E-M-O-N-I-A. You're close. You missed a U in there. Perfect. Well, well-picked, Andy. It's like pneumotic, or P-N-E-U. You're going to refresh a freaking poll. right now. That's what you're, that's all he wants.

Who, who put all these, who put P in front of words for us? Seriously. You got P's in front of F sounds. Who's, who started this? You got P in front of S sounds. Like, P is a very powerful sound. Yes. And why are you making a silent? All right, I went pneumonia with 101. Yeah, that's true. Mike, you are up next. Words that you never spell correctly. Uh, this one is a nemesel. of mine and it is definitely. Oh, for sure. It definitely

spelled wrong. It should be so easy to spell. There are a couple of these that should be so easy. And every time, it's got the red squiggles. Yeah. It definitely does. The word is sick. Yeah, no, that's a good pick. It's definitely high on the list

for a lot of people. Jason, you get two words definitively. The vast majority of people right now have six or more magnets on their fridge. Let me read some comments. Keed writes in, I have like 100 magnets on my fridge. Oh, grow up. We easily have 50,

says Jimmy. 12 to 20 easily says Zach. I see yes, but it's my dad's fault. My grandma and grandpa have 75. Exactly. People need to grow up. Old people aren't people in a poll. I'm saying old people should stop. They're the most grown-

They should stop. They are. I'm asking for the youth who know what's up. to grow up and own the refrigerators. The youths don't have fridges? I know. They need to grow up and get fridges. They will not disgustingly cover them with magnets.

Oh my gosh. Never in a million years that I know you had such strong opinions. I did not hear it. When he loses, he does. All right. What are we doing? You're about to order an extension on the chin strap for the goose is what you were looking to do. Oh, that's a nice idea.

Yeah. We should get an extension. Josh, looking at that. All right. I'm going to go with what that last question was. I'm going to go with diarrhea. I have never, I couldn't even. I don't think I could spell that right now at all.

There's an H in there somewhere. Yeah, that's a great word. There is a Y in that word every time I write it because I know it's so weird. And I don't write it. It's not a word you write often. I thought you were going to say there's a Y in that word. And I guess you're right. I don't know.

Yeah, there isn't. I don't know what to spell. There isn't. I think of all three of us trying to spell, we'd all get it wrong. No, I... Maybe you have it right on your screen right now. I looked at it 10 seconds ago. There's no way I could spell it.

D-I-H? There's a H in there. D-I-D-I-H-H-R-A-R-H-E-A. All right. Is there one or two R's? There's two R-H-R-H-R-H-E-A. What? That word is diarrhea.

I mean, spelled perfectly. So two of the first three are diseased-based. Yeah, makes sense. You've got another. pick you have diarrhea so i think i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna since more early in this draft i'm gonna stick to words that are impossible lieutenant oh yes lieutenant is i mean i don't use that quite as often as diarrhea right but when i do i google it first i mean this is only one way l i e you t e n a n t T-E-N-A-N-T

Lieutenant. What do you think the demographic of your followers is? Because you probably don't have a lot of old people. 68% dumb. I'm just guessing. 32% beautiful. Okay.

All right. So you went Diary on Lieutenant. I can't believe I was that far off. I started at 10%. I bumped you up. You bumped me to 12%. It was what? 77%?

Yeah. If you took I mean, I couldn't have been further off. He's so mad. He's so mad. He's going to go home and get some validation. Put some magnets on my fridge. Join the masses.

Yeah, as you say, knock on your neighbor's doors, walk in, look at their fridge and see what happens. Definitely, Mike. You definitely have one word so far. What's your second word? I know for sure my top two words that I use and cannot spell. Definitely. And then it is followed up by calendar. You can't spell calendar.

I cannot. Really? Do you throw an extra E in there? I get it wrong all the time. Calendar. Yes. Huh. Exactly. Is it not C-A-L-E-N-D-A-R? Yes, it is. That's a super easy word to spell. That one's not a tough one for me. There's nothing. Say it, but say it. Calendar. Yes. Calendors. So it's because you go E-R. Yes. Got it. On that note, my second pick is ridiculous. Oh, of course. It's the word ridiculous because I say ridiculous. Yeah, it is not read. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's ridiculous. You want to know something. You want to know something. But I spent years looking ridiculous when I wrote it. I used to always have a problem with that because everybody does until Harry Potter.

It was like, I forget what the spell was, but it was something like ridiculous. Yeah, basically. It was like ridiculous, which was, and so it just. And it fixed your, it fixed my spelling. That's just how Charles Barkley says ridiculous. Well, that's ridiculous. All right. So I will go with ridiculous as my second pick.

And then I'm just going to, I'm going to keep it simple here. I'm going to go banana. Oh, I'm going to go banana. Gwen Stefani helped me help me out with that. Whatever you just said, you put an extra A in there, didn't you? No, B, A N-A-N-A-N-A-S. Oh, banana. I thought he said banana, B-A-N-A-N-A-A.

It's like Mississippi. If there's a song because it's so difficult, sometimes it becomes easy. I still, there's extra- So you usually double in? I don't know what I do, man. I just, I just, it's fresh every time. Hmm. I go for a ride and when I get to the end of the banana, I'm done.

um so those are my two words all right uh i am back up i'm gonna go with rhythm oh that's impossible that is impossible i'm looking at it there's no there's no squiggle or is the why in the end it's r h y t h m right is that one i that one i r h why it starts yeah and then goes t hm yes right right the rhythm. Oh, that's where did that word come from? It's ignoring all the vowel rules. Well, we know you're a feeling saw in language in general.

Man, staying strong up above 68% here in Jason's fall. And the old people aren't even there. I am very. And the kids aren't even there. I am very upset. All right, Mike, you went with rhythm. Jason, you have you're a lieutenant of diarrhea

so far. You've got two picks. All right. So there's two words that I, I mean, there's a lot of words I struggle with. Okay. Sure. There's two words that I've never gotten right. But there's one word that when looking for this list, I realize I've never written it. And I've never even seen it written because I thought, oh, that's that word. And then I read it. And then I was like, oh, that's not that word. Because that's definitely not how that word is spelled. And I'm going to go with this, but I want you guys to each take a try. Take a try. Grab your. boogie boards and i want you to try to spell this word okay we've had a draft of onomatopoeia before okay okay those are the words that are the sounds like buzz clink that's on a monopoeia so let's see if you guys can spell i can't okay well what's your attempt we started we went oh and then i went with an a okay you're out yeah oh in o m a in a p i a paia You got five letters in.

What if I told you it was not the word we spell or we say. There's a letter that doesn't belong in there. There's a couple. Oh, wait, the word that means what something sounds like. Yeah. Does not sound like what. Give me it. Okay, it's O-N-O-Han-O, M-A-T-A-T-O-M-A-M-A-M-A-M-A-M-A-M-A-Mata. It's Anamata-Mata, so then it's T-O.

This is where it gets real fun. What? Pia is. P E.A. H or something stupid? O. What? No. E. No. I. A. It's all the vowels.

Onomatto. Anomadoia. Dude, I had to Google this. I was like, well, that's a different word. That's the onomatopoeia. Oh my gosh. He's right. I had to have that on this list. I had to. It looks so dumb and wrong. Poia. and then the other one which I think I'm alone here

I think other people could spell this word I write this word this is easily the most frequently spelled wrong because I write it all the time I Google for this every day and I have never been able to commit how to say restaurant or how to spell restaurant

it's restaurante there's a use somewhere you get European use you get restaurante I know for a fact it doesn't end with it with an and I still put a knee at the end of it 50% of the times. Oh yeah. In his neighborhood, it ends with a knee. No magnets ends with a knee.

We fancy. So anyways, restaurant is... Just out of curiosity, how many people do you think are fancy in the world? What percentage of people are fancy? Well, I would have said 12, but I'm going back to 10%. Okay.

Mike, you have one left. Definitely calendar. Rhythm and... And... I'm sure. other people have zero problem with this, but I have two of the letters that I just flip-flop is license. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a hard one. That's a hard one. I've learned over time it's a C. Yes. The C is the first. Yeah. But that took 40 years or so to get that one down. I don't understand why I can't spell that word.

I'm right there with you. So dumb. Okay. My final word, I have pneumonia, ridiculous banana, and I'm going to go with narcissistic. Oh, okay. much sounds man it's a long one go for it might

nar n-n-r n-r-n-r-n-r-s- C-I-S yeah oh narciss it from the s

i s right another s right another s oh there's the two has a double-s yeah my s-s-s-s-s-a-m-s-s-s-narsis-s-narser- narcissistic my final all right word

when jason was trying to figure out how many people hated magnets he was wrong he was wrong no I didn't put that in there 77% I have a lot of extra oh I do too my list is like a lot of them are

minuscule army oh colonel like colonel corporal there's no R in colonel I know it's colonel the army enlisted different letters sergeant oh is that hard oh that one's weird that one's weird S-A-R-G-E-A-N-T

S-E-E-E-E-E-A-N-S-E sergeant S-E Yeah What Surgent And then This one doesn't come up

All the time But medieval Oh for sure Mid-Ev It's a good one Because it should be M-I-D E-V-I-L

Man that sounds like Mid-Eval And it's actually M-E-D Med I-E-V-A-L Medda-E How many times

are the words spelled right Even with phonetics But we all say them wrong By Habit is that a good question I could never

read on them on a P-O-O-I I mean that just would never On a Matt Entrepreneur? Entrepreneur is on my list That's a hard one Flim P-H-E-L-M No, there's a G in there

P-H-L-E-G-M Flim Gros That's spelled just like Connecticut Yeah Connecticut Connecticut, okay

Nautious Yeah that's tough Conscience Oh yeah If you don't know, it's con science. Is that con science? Yeah, it doesn't. I got a lot of real simple ones, kind of like license, like exercise. Yeah.

Exercise. Yeah. I get that one wrong all the time. I'm going to go work out. Here's one that I think I get wrong. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. To the gym. Yes. I mean, that is a synonym finder. Exercise has been deleted and replaced more than any other word. I think most people know this one, but bicycle. gets me, man. Oh, bicycle.

Bicycle? Yeah, every time. Is there something I'm missing there? I go B.Y. Oh, okay. Wait, there's a line. No offense. If you write that in any important setting, we're not friends anymore.

I see it immediately. B. Y. That's good. And then spaghetti. Yeah, I had that on there. Spaghetti. Yeah. Not this, not, not ever.

I mean, at least that one deserves red squiggly lines. Fair enough. Yeah. I was, I remember. was way off on the people breaking into the house. Oh, I thought you were, I thought you were so stupid. I was way further away. I just thought more people had to, like, got scared in the middle of the night.

Nah. And do you think that that's, what's required there is you have to live alone at some point. I feel like that's a bigger part, me. I don't, I don't know that I ever did it when I lived alone. No? No, I just, I outgrew diapers. Uh, right. What did we learn today?

I learned two things. I learned that you don't drive a Rudebaker And You don't drive a Rudebaker I also learned That I am Way more snooty than I thought I was I mean I knew I was snooty

But I am so ashamed of people How many times have you learned that lesson Like five? Weekly Weekly it is I learned that Falcour is actually Just faster than the fastest horse Which

He could win the Kentucky Derby That's pretty cool I learned I need to just go back to bed If I hear something in the middle of the night I don't need to get my I don't need to get my Damascus knife out Has it ever done anything Never really been a person, no

Yeah, let's go back to sleep Yeah, that sounds smart Goodbye Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast To see what other nonsense the guys are up to Check out Spitballerspod.com Thank you. Thank you.