Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Mike’s Best Day & Things That are Orange - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: April 21, 2025

Mike has his best day ever and takes over the episode in what might go down as one of the most memorable shows we’ve done. Would You Rather, a round of Ballerdash and a Things That are Orange draft got nothing on him. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. We are so back. skittity-skat-skat boom bam badiggy-da-dingy we are so back we are so... I tried people we were in a lull, we were in a really dark, dark place and then the hero we needed

the badingy! arrived from the darkness the badingy is back! in your face, Jason I mean look When you say I tried I who are you talking? I'm talking. I'm talking to the quiet majority Yeah, that's what I'm talking to there is a very loud vocal minority who loves

These scats and we're back for you. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome into episode 323. Jason's been holding meetings that we don't know about. He's been recruiting on Twitter. Come on people. I would. I think you're gonna end. Who's with me? When you rent out. No more scat. No more. They're all quiet. When you rent out the big, you know, facility and you invite everybody to come Campaign against it. I think you might be alone in that room. I Was it was embarrassing? I guess Al would be with you every 81 shows He would be like anti scat, but that's gotta be wait. Where are we now? What's the episode? It's still a ways away. It's gotta be pretty close. I think I'll figure it out again

I can't remember where 323 right now. Yeah, we can ease you back into the scat close. I think I'll figure it out again. I can't remember. We're at 323 right now. Yeah, we can ease you back into the sketch. I know a good way to do it. Okay, tell me. The next time you have to scat, Josh has to scat. Oh, that's great. Has Josh ever done it? Well, he hasn't and I actually was asked by Josh a fan of Josh's Fan of Josh's video game podcast to make Josh Scat fantastic was in his co-host it was not and I don't I think you mean the fan of his podcast Yeah body bag All in all in favor. I oh There you go. It's unanimous. Now this is a blessing

in disguise Josh because I could have put you on the spot. So you know now you know what's coming. You got time. You could do your vocal push ups. And this is just your people. Your people asked for it. I'm not scared. Uh huh. Well we are. Yeah because you're not doing it right now. Would you rather baller dash and we are drafting things? That are orange. We are like I said, we are so back. We are so back, baby I got the 101 in the orange draft. You kidding me? Don't blow it. Oh One yeah, pretty clear 101. Yeah. No. Oh my gosh, and I'm not 101 yeah, no, oh my gosh, and I'm not I'm not I just feel like

Like come on, okay, okay, we'll see if I get it. Yeah, cuz now I feel like I'm gonna fail you better get it All right. Let's uh, let's get it going Would you rather uh Would you rather? Would you rather from Kira on patreon would you rather have the ability to snap your fingers and instantly clean a room an Item or a vehicle so you could just you get ten snaps a week Okay, and you can clean a room and an item or a vehicle so like clean the car Mm-hmm ten snaps a week. I'm using one on a car probably every week. I mean you could do your whole house. It says a room. Oh yeah, he's saying 10 snaps. Oh sure, sure. I mean a weekly. 10 snaps. A weekly free. Maybe your house. Yeah, my house could be, we could clean it probably twice. Or, so you got the little snap cleaner 10 times a week,

or have the ability to touch a book and absorb all the information one use a week. Oh man. Wow. So free cleaning for life. I'm a little weirded out by the, so like the vehicle, the room, and then there's item? Yeah.

How often are you cleaning an item? Trying to think of, like I guess that's a vehicle. I was about to say like a motorcycle. Right, no, and there's stuff in a room that you might dust, but if you clean the room. What items need to be deep cleaned individually? A toilet, but I assume that the toilet is cleaned into the bathroom. Is in the bathroom, yeah.

Because the bathroom is now clean. The only thing I can think of is, is a pool an item? Oh yeah. Pool's not an item. But it's not a room or a vehicle can think of is, is a pool an item? Oh yeah. Pool's not an item. But it's not a room or a vehicle. It's more of a room than an item. I agree, it's more of a room than an item. You go in it.

You don't go in an item. Hold on, okay, now we're. You don't enter an item. Now we're into the good stuff. Is a pool a room? No. Yes. Only in a would you rather where there's item or room. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely a room over No. Yes. Only in a would-you-rather where there's item or room. Yeah, yeah.

It's definitely a room over an item. I mean, in Florida, they put up the bug-protective tents over all the pools. So all the pools are like indoor pools, but not in a house. And those would be room stuff. OK, well, now we're going to define what is a room. What is a room? It is? One entrance. Well, that's not, well now we're gonna define what is a room. What is a room? It is...

One entrance? Well, that's not true. You could have two entrances to a room. I mean, there could be multiple. Obviously, people have to be able to go inside of it. That is a non- Yeah, but a closet's not a room. I'm not saying that that makes a room

if a person could go inside of it. I'm saying that- But you must, that's step one. That is a non-negotiable. You cannot have a room if a person can't go in and it. I'm saying that that is a non-negotiable. You cannot have a room, if a person can't go in, it's not a room. If you can't lay down and stretch your arms out and not hit a wall, it's not a room. I agree.

Yeah. Like a closet, a pantry, something like that. It's gotta have enough size of substance. So what do you do then, for example, the way my house is laid out, you walk in, I don't know if you guys remember, there's a front room. I know where you're going. There's a front room.

There's not a door to that. And then there's something, there's a transition of the flooring material. Yes. But then there's a thing that would be sold as the dining room. Is there any, it's not how we use it, but. Is there any elevation change? Is there any steps? No, it is completely flat.

Are you blocking one room from the other via furniture? There is a couch that is sort of, but there's the walkway. So it is not completely faux walled in. You might have a great room. Yeah, you have a great room. Or you can call it what it is, a multi-purpose room. Because you're using multi-purposes, but that's one room, okay

Apparently do you have to have a door? I mean this is where I'm going of definitions, but you have a front door So if you go through the front door you come in you're in every room has a door No, at least a doorway. No you go down a hallway you come into a there's a hallway count Because your front room your living room a lot of the times you don't like open a door to come into a, there's a hallway count? Because your front room, your living room, a lot of the times you don't like open a door to go into a living room. It's just open.

There's a doorway out of it. There is a door to that room, exactly. There's a door in that room. Well now you're lumping in my living room which is like around the corner. So my great room is three different rooms. Just name me one room, one room that does not have a door. One room. Just find one in your life. I mean room that does not have a door.

One room. Just find one in your life. I mean, the kitchen doesn't have a door. Really? It doesn't have a back door, huh? You don't have a back door off your kitchen? I mean, I do. So does everybody.

I mean, some people don't. Some people you walk into the kitchen. There's no pantry? Oh, now you're looking for loopholes. That's an interesting thought exercise. Apparently people are getting tired of the open floor plans. Have you heard about this? Yeah, that's silly. So people went crazy with open floor plans. Yeah. And I think it was in part convenient. Well it's not just convenient. For builders and stuff like that. No, it's also just you've, like the space feels nicer.

But people don't like them now. I can agree that there can be difficulty, like my room where it's two rooms, and you have to figure out how do you segment them. But if you use the right furniture and things, you can segment them. I don't, the people putting the walls up, those things will be ripped down in about five years.

It's objectively better to be open Yes, oh, I don't agree. Oh, I give it to me. Give me that old you want them low ceilings and Small hallways. I have I mean sometimes yes, I have I have three kids We live in a medieval castle I want to go sit like I had a room that had like books and a fireplace and a couch I don't want to go sit in there and read, except for you gotta walk through it to get anywhere in the house.

So it's like it's constantly loud and trafficked and there's no seclusion, there's no quiet, there's no I'm gonna go over there and sit down and not be in the noise. You should always be reading in the bathroom, Andy. Well, you. Problem solved. Bath, what?

Room. Room, oh. You got a door on your bathroom? Hmm. Yes, you... Problem solved. Bath... what? Room. Room. Oh. You got a door on your bathroom? Yes, you do. Yeah, one way in. If you can't lay down, if you lay down though and your arms hit the wall, that's a water closet.

Uh-oh. Problem. Okay, so touching a book and absorbing all the information. I would feel a pressure, tell me if, I'm wrong, one snap a week, I would feel some pressure to prioritize a humongous book because I would not, one snap a week, I would feel some pressure to prioritize a humongous book. Because I would not, like there might be books I want to read that are little, but I would feel the pressure to be, it's like war and peace, the history of the world, all these

big. This is encyclopedias, right? Of course, and you should because you can still read. This is still, this does not delete your ability to read. Yeah, but how fast do you read a small book? Faster than a big one. Okay. I mean, always. So yeah, you're going to be touching the massive books of

knowledge. Now, how are you reading the small stuff you like? Now, is this true? If you accidentally pick up a book, it uses your one time a week. They did say that. I didn't add it to the question. So if you accidentally pick up like a kid's book, oh, it's gone Okay So Sunday one fish two fish every Sunday same with snapping your fingers if you snap your fingers, whatever. Oh, that's um

It's just clean inside get ten uses guys. Mike's always snapping his face. Yes He's his own car ten times in a row on the way to work. You okay? You guys are just gonna have clean cars. It was gonna be firing off snaps Lucy goosey. It's the book one Yeah, of course. It's the book instant knowledge. Yeah, I'll master something. I could pay for people to clean these rooms. Come on Yeah With all that knowledge with all my knowledge Jared from patreon when going on a trip Would you rather have everything packed for you? Oh, that's nice. Everything is there. Nothing left behind. Oh my gosh. That would be so cool. I hate packing. I wish I wish there might be if there's someone out there that does this for a job like let me know or have everything cleaned and put away

for you the minute you return home. Oh man, that one's tough because every time I get back from a trip, what I want is to put everything away instantly so I can relax. What I do is never that. Right, well because you can't put it away, it's dirty. Right, but I mean you have to wash it, yeah you gotta take out. There's a lot more work involved in the unpacking, I feel like, than the packing. Well just because you're starting with everything dirty.

But then it goes right into the laundry basket. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, which needs to then be washed and then dried and then put away. There's no discretion there. When you're packing you have to make decisions. Yeah, when you're unpacking you just chuck it in a in a... Sure. Packing is, I go back and forth in my closet like 20 times. Yeah, that's true. You go get one thing like, oh I need that one other thing. Unpacking, I'm just like... Unpacking takes me... Welling, I'm just like, unpacking

takes me two minutes. If I'm being honest, and I will be honest, the amount of laundry that needs to be washed before a trip is just as much as after. That's a you problem. Yep, that's true. I was going to say, think about when you're leaving a place and you've got to pack up to leave, how you pack. I mean, that's true. I was gonna say, think about when you're leaving a place and you've gotta pack up to leave, how you pack. I mean, that's nothing. No, you shove it in.

If I had a shovel in the room, like hotel rooms should just have a shovel so you could just pick up all your dirty clothes. A clothes, a little plastic, a clothes shovel? What is your guys' strategy of, I know where you're going. In a hotel, where do you put your dirties corner? I do a corner very often Feeling cuz you just really shouldn't be doing that and it's like yeah, you're free. Oh, it's great

No, it's usually a corner back by the bed around the corner and it's thrown over there when you get to the hotel room You're scouting quarters. You know, you're like looking around like something around the corner. And it's thrown over there. But when you get to the hotel room, you're scouting corners. You're looking around like, that's the one. That's my dirty corner. And then you just go grab everything in the corner and just dump it in the. So there was one trip. We went on a big week-long cruise.

And. Oh, that's going to pile up. It was going to pile up. It was gonna pile up right and so we brought this a two-pack of foldable hampers that like you know when when they're empty you can fold them down and next to nothing pack them in your suitcase and Then when you arrive you poof and they're huge. They're gigantic and It was awesome. Oh, yeah, because in a you know, you know in a cruise room is very, very small. You just don't have a lot of corners.

Corners. But it was really practical. Can I get a room with seven corners, please? How many empty corners we got this time? I'm here for a week. I was really blown away. I'd like a white and dark corner, please, to separate. So yeah, so the foldable laundry basket is great.

But yeah, the corner is usually the go-to for the laundry. OK. Did we answer anything? What was the question? It was everything cleaned when you get home, or somebody to pack for you pack. I want to be back Yeah, but they've got out of town is more stressful than returning and I assume in this question that it's a magical pack It is yeah, they're nothing is nothing is left behind Yeah, great so that you know you forget your meds or whatever which that that happens a lot with our house. The stress level that this will take away

Yeah. would be monumental, because trips are a nightmare 48 hours before my trips, usually. Yeah, you have the most stressful buildup to trips of any human on the planet. Oh my gosh. I mean, somehow- Brutal.

Somehow you were like, because your stories are always the same. It's like me and Mike show up, we're ready to go. How you feeling, Mike? I'm good, how you doing? I'm all right. Jason, how are you? I was up till four a.m.

It's always the same. I was up till four a.m. doing laundry, getting packed. I haven't slept yet. It's like, I'm gonna sleep on the plane. I gotta find some coffee. Okay, Bryn from X writes in and says, would you rather work five days a week for eight hours a day? Dolly or

Three night shifts per week for ten hours per shift the nine to five yeah nice. Oh a dolly dolly working nine to With that voice that's not It's more than our voice. It's more like Shakira. Um. Nine, two, five. No steps don't lie. Um, would you rather work five days a week, eight hours a day. So a normal shift or three night shifts for 10 hours per shift. So you work in less hours. That's not that many less. But you're working, it's 10, it's 25% less. I'm just saying it's not enough less

to have to live an overnight lifestyle where you're on a graveyard shift and you're waking up. So you're picking the nine to five? Of course. Three night shifts and then you got four days off. But how do you flip back and forth, like between, okay, I'm gonna be working it. I mean, it could be like.

My circadian rhythm matters a lot. It might be- You're what now? His- You don't know that first word. His circada rhythm. Yes, it's very noisy. Because it's like, what if you work Monday, Wednesday, Friday?

I mean, you don't, Tuesday and Thursday are not like, oh, I get to have my whole day. I mean, there are a lot of jobs, like firefighters will work a couple 24s during the week, or nurses will work 12s, like three 12s. And it is a big adjustment, I think, coming out of that. Oh, for sure. But nine to five also, I mean, you just, it's funny because I will just, I'll be honest here on this show.

We run our own company. We've done that the last 10 years. Before that, I worked for a small business. There was always flexibility in hours. I realized that 80% of America does not have flexibility in hours. And I often think when I'm trying to schedule things, like- How does everybody else do this? How does anybody, like when you say, oh, you need to make sure you're going for your checkups

to the doctor. If I didn't have flexibility with my schedule I can't imagine Don't understand it. We have schools around here that every single week have a half day They have kids get out. Yeah, like every single week those kids go to school for like two and a half hours It's like what what if both parents work? How do these kids get home? It's a big issue Yeah, so can a do you think of? Like, what if both parents work? How do these kids get home? It's a big issue. Yeah. So can a, do you think, cause like a normal dentist does not work in the weekends, right?

A lot of them will maybe take a little bit of time on a Saturday, but yeah. But, so jobs like that, where it's like, people need to get in. Oh yeah. But most people are at work. And you're like, well, I don't want to schedule a dentist appointment. My boss is like, this is going to be a nightmare situation. Could a dentist survive charging like double,

working just the weekends? I see what you're saying. Just being exclusively. I'm available on the weekends. It's a premium. Or because I'm working the weekends. It's a premium. Or. Because I'm working the weekend. You are helping dentists?

And you are helping society right now. What if the dentist did three night shifts? I mean. Or they work nine to five for the weekday. The Weekend Dentist.com? .com. I'm going to see. Because after this episode goes live,

we've gotta own that domain. We do. We will need to learn dentistry if we really wanna execute that. Well, no, we're just gonna sell it. I want the three night shifts. Really, I don't believe you. I got no commute.

Say goodbye to the commute. Traffic, you mean? Correct, yeah, I guess I'm not trans. I'm not like, magically appearing. You're not actually a vampire who could turn into a bat. It's funny because I do mentally... Commute does not mean driving in traffic, but I think of the word commute to automatically mean traffic driving.

Yeah, no traffic. It's quieter. There's enough 24-7 places I can get stuff. But maybe I just make a full transition. Yeah, you would. Maybe I just become a full nighttime person vampire. That's what everyone who works night shifts pretty much has to do.

Three of them, like if it was two night shifts, I feel like I could adjust three of them, that's tough. So you're going nine to five. I'm going nine to five. That's a quick one for you, you too, Mike? Yeah. I'll take the night shifts. We got time for one more or should we move on now?

Let's do one more. Okay. Bryce from the website, would you rather be a horrible parent whose kids turn out to be perfect? Oh. Or a perfect parent whose kids turn out to be horrible? Oh man, this is the easiest question of all time.

I object to the entire premise. I get that, I get that, and it should be objected to, but before we get into the philosophical objection, which is worthy, I would just love to be a terrible parent with great kids. It would be great. Oh my goodness, you know how easy it would be to be a terrible parent? Yeah. I do nothing. Peace, I'm out. But then, if your kids are not perfect, perfect by definition you've been a good parent, that's the part I don't it's like would you rather know a good mathematician who gets his sums wrong? No, that means the core of well in spite of yeah, and I think they don't like you Okay, I think that if you're a horrible parent your kids grow up and they turn out

Okay, if you add that in like yeah, but a perfect kid, they appreciate their parents. They have respect for their elders. I don't think so. Whether they're horrible or not. No, they're like screw that crap. I think Mike's right on this one. Yeah, if they. If you're a horrible parent, your kids won't like you.

Okay, so let's amend this. Don't try to reconcile, they have such a good sense. Would you rather have, be a good, hardworking, perfect parent, and your kids turn out terrible, but they love you? No. Or, you're a bad parent, terrible parent, your kids turn out great, they've got a very successful life

and they're good people, and they hate you. Yeah, I think that. I'll do it. You gotta take it on the chin for the sake of the kids. in a very successful life and they're good people. I'll do it. And they hate you. Yeah, I think that one. I'll do it. I'll do it. You gotta take it on the chin for the sake of the kids. Why do we want them to be so happy and successful? Your children?

Yeah. I think love. I think that's the purpose. But this is a weird exit. No, I know. I'm saying that's the purpose, but then you're literally saying you're willing to be hated by your kids

for them to have good joy in life. Yeah, but then I also don't have to worry about him. Right, it's a win-win. Yeah, I mean. I see you guys were both going the win-win. Yeah. Like you could be worse than you are now, and they'd be fine.

Yeah. Oh man, if I could be a bad parent and know they'd be okay. Because right now you're on the bad-bad. My man, I'm super bad. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. All right, we'll take a break. Because right now you're on the like bad bad. My man. Just super dad All right, we'll take a break What time is it game time What time is it? Game time. We are playing Baller Dash today. We were given five prompts in five different categories

by Al Borland himself. We gave our answers to Al to the five prompts before the show and he will be reading from all five categories. He'll be reading R3 and the truth. That is correct. You'll catch on to what we're doing. We each had to deal with a definition, a notable person, an acronym, a movie plot, and some weird laws.

And so we've all submitted our fictional answers and we're trying to fool one another. And say the fact that there's a category in here called notable person and we have no notes of who these people are, are they really notable? Yeah, I mean, I think notable is not a really high claim.

Notable is like the bottom of the, you know what I mean? It's not famous. No, like someone one time was like, oh yeah, that guy invented like the. He has something notable about him. They made one tiny note about him. Right. Yeah, one small note. Okay. Go ahead go ahead out did I introduce that in any way

shape and form accurately you did great and the scoring format is two points if you guess the correct answer one point if an opponent guesses your fictitious answer and we're gonna start off with the definition of the word twang Dillo. Whoa! Hey! Wee! Whoa! Twang Dillo. Is a Twang Dillo a quick slap? OK, a quick slap. Is a Twang Dillo a person who crafts flutes out of various woods? Flutey? Flutey?

Is it a men's scarf that was popular with organized crime members in the 1930s? Men's scarf? OK. Or is it to overreact dramatically to a mild paper cut? organized crime members in the 1930s? Men's scarf. Scarf, okay. Or is it to overreact dramatically to a mild paper cut? What? These are all so specific. So who's starting with the has to answer first?

One, I'll go first. Okay. And then we gotta spin it around. Yep. Quick slap, person that makes flute of flute one Man scarf and then overreact to paper cut that is correct And the word one more time twang dillo twang dillo Can you use it in a sentence?

All right, I'm gonna go I'm going I'm going quick slap I'm going quick slap too oh no I will go men's scarf that was my backup all right quick slap is the correct answer my man points for both Mike and Jason and Andy guessed Mike's answer so he gets another point on top of that son of a gun! Yes! So three for Mike, two for Jason, zero for Andy. I coulda had a four burger right there.

You coulda had a four burger. All right, I'm losing. Currently you are. I'm losing. There's plenty of time to make it up. I'm just joking. All right, we're gonna move on to the notable person. Okay.

His name is Wilbur Voleva. His name is Wilbur Voleva. Wilbur. Wilbur Voleva. Was Wilbur Voleva a 1920s strongman knowing for lifting goats instead of weights? Okay, maybe. Is he an arsonist who is known for starting fires with flaming arrows?

An arsonist? Like a Viking? Okay. Is Wilbur a turn-of-the-century preacher who ruled a town where lobsters lipstick booze and bacon were not allowed nope what is or is Wilbur Vileva the physician that invented the hypodermic needle in 1844 dang it that's a good answer. Needle, so wait, strong man, goats. The goat lifter. The arrow arsonist.

The arrow arsonist. The preacher. The preacher with no lobsters and whatever and then the needle. That's correct? Yeah, Jason you gotta lock in. Oh shoot, it's me first. I was waiting for Mike's answer.

Oh, why Isaiah. Jason, you gotta lock in. Oh shoot, it's me first. I was waiting for Mike's answer. Oh, why Isaiah? I'm gonna go that he invented the needle. Needle. Two for needle. Oh, gosh. I'm gonna go. Give me the lobster one. Oh.

I thought about it. I did think about it. That's it with a four-pack He got the correct answer and both of you picked his answer The hyperdermic needle was a great answer. Yeah, it was perfect. It was perfect. I can't dang No one wanted my goat lifter? Come on. You're my arsonist with flaming arrows. I was between the lobster and the goat one. Oh gosh, I suck at this game.

All right. Is there like a double points? No, not in this one. But we might just do that audibly if we decide to, if he's ahead enough at the end. All right, we're going to move on to the acronym. The acronym is FSO. Does FSO stand for full self operation? Does it stand for flatulence suppression officer?

Come on, man. Come on. Does it stand for Florist Society of Ontario? OK. Or does it stand for Friends of the Sea Otter? Come on, man. What was the first one? Full Self Operator? Full Self Operation. I have to weigh in. Yeah, you're first.

Sea Otter. Oh, man. You're going Friends of the Sea Otter? What was the Florist something society? Florist Society of Ontario. I'm going with the Sea Otter. Oh my goodness. He's trying to stay in the lead. So I was going to go Sea Otter, but then Mike's reaction was like, oh, that's his.

He's landing on too thick What's it could be but then he went sea otter, right? Dang it Mike. I'm going sea otter All three of you guys correct. I got the correct. I know it was friends of the sea otter. All right We're not doing bad. It's a good place. Just doing great. I just scored for the first time We're not doing bad, Andy. That's a good pivot. Mike's just doing great. I just scored for the first time.

I'm doing pretty bad. I'm doing pretty good. Mike's just doing great. Mike is playing the game. So we got him. You know what the rule should be? No joke. Future game.

Doesn't have to be today. Whoever's in the lead has to start. Ooh, I like that. That makes perfect sense. I like it. Yeah. And they can't stay in the lead game. All right, starting now.

Not that you were. You got the right answer. We got Mike with nine, Jason with four, Andy with two, and we are moving on to the movie plot. And the movie title is The Horrors of Spider Island. I don't like it. I don't know how we have four different answers to this one. They are very similar. Is The Horrors of Spider Island, a soccer team crashes on an island where a mysterious fog turns people into spiders.

Okay. Soccer team fog spiders. They turn into spiders. Correct. Is the horrors of Spider Island, is that a treasure map leads to an island with eight legs. Ooh. Is it a plane full of dancers crash lands in Yugoslavia and their talent agent is bitten by a vicious spider? Nope. That's the most

ridiculously specific thing I've ever heard. There's not just a plane, there's a plane full of dancers, they're not landing anywhere, okay? They are landing, where are they landing? Yugoslavia. Boom shaboom. And their talent agent is bitten by a vicious spider. Or last is the horrors of Spider Island, a group of kids sneak away for their summer camp only to become trapped on an arachnid infested island. Spider Island. Little, little heavy on the nose there. Mike you're up first. I have to go first? Yeah. Don't worry you got nine points. Yeah you can do no wrong here.

I'm doing the dancers. That gummit. That means... So the soccer team, the treasure map, to the island with eight legs, the dancers. So I didn't do the real long one earlier. It was long and it was stupid and I thought that's too long. And I feel like we've played that game in the past where Andy had the longest answer ever. And so he knows better and we already know better.

Does the game know better? Does the game know better? I was gonna go with the on the nose kid summer, but Mike, I mean, but I can't catch you if I keep picking I'm just gonna pick the right answer. I think it's the I think it I think it's the absurd plane crash in Yugoslavia I'll do the kids sneaking away the last one you read alright Jason and Mike picked the correct answer which was the dancers crash landing in Yugoslavia and Andy picked Mike's answer

His lead he is on fire ladies and gentlemen. This is one for the record books landing in Yugoslavia and Andy picked Mike's answer. Shaboom! Extending his lead. He is on fire. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one for the record books. Oh man, I'm in double digits for the last one. Has anybody picked somebody else's answer that wasn't Mike yet? No. I have not had someone pick my answer. Dang it, man.

Wow. That's a first. I have not had anybody pick my answer. I thought I was getting you again. Dude, I thought that my treasure map. Oh, I really liked that one. Thank you, Mike. I really did.

I thought I was in on that one. That was a genuine, oh, that movie sounds fun. And then you didn't pick it. Here's a little known fact. Well, I'll share it with you later. Never mind. The answer that's the real answer, sometimes we look to Chad GBT and AI to give us some ideas. It was the idea gave me was so close to that. I thought for sure it was just spitting

that answer to both of you guys. Man. Oh, all right. So we got Mike with 12 Jason with six, Andy with two and due to the butt who whooping, we're gonna make this round worth double. Quadruple. At least I can pass Jason then. Jason has a chance. Andy does not. All I wanna do is pass Jay. I don't care about Mike.

Yeah, that's kinda how I feel. I just wanna hold onto two. Oh, actually, I guess you don't. Oh no, you do have a chance, I'm sorry. In Kentucky, this is the weird laws. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a fishing pole into a cemetery. Okay, fishing pole.

It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket. Okay. In Kentucky it is illegal to carry soiled garments. Okay. Or it is illegal to carry a harmonica in church on Sundays. Okay, harmonica. It's me? Wait. So you're saying Paul? Mike has to go first. Oh, I have to go first too?

Yeah, we're handicapping you over here. Hold on. I'm just upset about trying to say Kentucky doesn't let people rip on harmonica in the church. Like blues travelers, they're not allowed. They're not gonna hold him down. Fishing, what was the? Thank you. A fishing pole into a cemetery. Illegal to carry a fishing pole into a cemetery.

Ice cream back pocket, soiled garments, and harmonica. Yep. Oh man. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go fishing pole. I'm going to go soiled garments. That should be illegal. That sucks, because I should not pick that if I want to try to pass you or equal yours. I'll go fishing pole.

All right, Jason got two of you this time. Oh man. The fishing pole. All right, Jason got two of you this time. Oh, man. The fishing pole was Jason's. Yeah. And Jason guessed Mike's, just to round it out. Shoot. So wait. This is the second game in a row where five questions, no one has picked one of my fake

answers. They're so bad. Are you the, which one are you? You're the. I'll go through all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's hear. Oh wait, what was the right answer? Oh, I'm sorry, it was an ice cream cone in your back pocket.

No! I looked it up because I was curious about this. That was so funny. And apparently back in the day, people used to steal horses, which is obviously illegal, but if you could get the horse to follow you home, it was not a crime. So they would put ice cream cones in their back pocket and try to convince the horse

to follow them. So that is insane. Instead of simply saying, hey, if a horse follows you home, you don't get to keep it. They're like, we got to figure out what to do with these ice cream problems. Here's the five that you didn't guess. The person who crafts flutes out of wood. The arsonist with the flaming arrows. The Flora Society of Ontario.

That's really close. The soccer team that crashed where the fog turns people into spiders. And the harmonica in the church on Sundays. I had principles, I couldn't pick that one. I fooled none of you Mike Wins in a... Oh, in a devastating fashion. ...a landslide. Here we go.

The Spitballers Draft. All right, so there's a 101, eh? Yeah, there is. Yeah. And it... Yeah. Remind the people what we're drafting. Oh, yeah, that's a good point.

We're drafting things that are orange. Not red or green. Yeah, that'd be silly. Orange. Yeah, we would never. No, we would. Not purple. But we have, so go back and check those episodes out, too. Not silly. Orange. Yeah, we would never. Not purple. But we have, so go back and check those episodes out too.

Not yellow. Orange. Yeah. I'm going with fire. Ooh, that's not the one that won. But fire is a good answer. Yeah, fire's great. Mike, you're up.

Orange. Yeah, I mean, come on. It's got the name. That's not the best. It's the best things that are orange. Not most similarly named. It absolutely wins when you think of something that is orange, you don't think first of a carrot, because...

It's not what you think first of, it's the best things that are that color. Yeah, and it's an orange. Oranges are great. That's not the best thing that's the color orange. I am... that's a terrible thing. It is a great thing. And what got named first? Has to be the orange.

The fruit. Yes. What are you talking about? What got named first? The color. So we found this color, and then they were like, ooh, it's in nature. What should we call that?

The first thing they saw that was that color was an orange. And they're like, oh, so let's call it orange. Why don't we have something that's called pink, then? I don't know. One guy didn't just invent all the colors. Hand me that red. We don't do that with anything else. Orange is not the best pick.

Oh, it's the greatest pick. Al's with me. It's got the namesake. It's like, it's the grand poppy of orange. And by the way, the draft is things that are orange. Yeah. It's not best things. It's just things.

No. Things that are orange? It's the thing. It's orange. I mean, Mike, you are crushing it. I wish you did the scat, because it would have been incredible. This is just...

It's orange. Episode title should just be Mike's episode. Goodness. You get to pick now, Jay. And unfortunately, orange isn't there. I know. That stinks. I was sad that the funnel was...

You'll probably pick an orange-y thing. Bust it. Oh, this is a fun show. Pick an orange thing. Bust it. Oh, this is a fun show. I'm going to take, I'm gonna take my favorite thing growing up. Made a lot of impact on my life. Very similar to your object, Mike.

It is round and it is orange. It's a basketball. Yeah. Yeah, cool. You just give me the stare down. Were you on the basketball? It's on my list. Okay.

Yeah, it's not fire. No, no, it's not fire. That one's the, I guess the NBA ones are still very orange, aren't they? It's funny, I had two picks in consideration with number one and one of them's still on the board. So we'll see if it gets back to me. So Jeremy did come through.

Oh, I picked twice. And it said that the naming of the fruit came first. Incredible. And then they were like. The fruit named the color. You tell me that's not boss. Come on, man. The fruit named the color.

I mean, it owns the color it's a fruit yeah and yet it did yeah and they're like we can't call anything else this that's that's orange yeah orange claimed it okay but how do we describe the color oh crap okay tangerine looks exactly like an orange looks nothing like it's called tangerine. That's so tiny. Yeah, it's not boss Oranges you're eating man size of your fist yeah for sure okay This show is so dumb all right this award-winning show This show is so dumb. All right, this award-winning show is so dumb. Yeah, you got us.

You have a basketball. I got a basketball. We have been stripped of all awards. I've got Cheetos. I mean, it's gonna be on everything. It's gonna turn everything else orange. It's gonna turn my fingies orange. It's also delicious.

Are you a Puffs guy? No, no, no. A standard crunchy? Are you a Puffs guy? No, no, no. No, no, no. Standard Crunchy? It's funny because the Crunchy has become the standard. But Puffs had to be first. Crunchy was a no way. Oh. No, I think the small ones were first.

The small ones came first. No way. Someone looked at them. That has to be that way. They're called the Puffs. It was like an invention. Yeah, they didn't go back and retroactively name it Cheetos. They didn't know how to puff stuff man

Okay, it's Cheetos puffs. Someone someone get on. I'm seeing that the crunchy came first. Wow Do you go with the this the crunchy stick ones or the ones that are the paw shape? The crunchy stick ones. All right things the mint Oreos came before the regular ones Original crunchy Cheetos 1948.y Cheetos, 1948. Cheetos Puffs didn't show up till 71. Puff technology hit in the 60s, man. They figured out how to puff it up. Yeah, because they're like, wait.

Look at those breakfast cereals. We can use less products. Blow it up. What if we sell more air? Yeah, but it's an exchange we all want to make, because we want the texture of puff. No. They get stuck in your teeth. Oh, gosh.

I hate puffs. I don't even like them. Look at every breakfast cereal. They're all puffy. Well, I'm not saying I don't like puffed things. I'm saying for Cheetos. Yeah, I'm with Jay. Well, that's fine.

That's fine. Do you prefer the puffy ones or the crunchy ones? Yeah, the puffy ones. OK. This is a good one. Mike, you've got an orange. I've got it. I guess you don't need anything else That's true. We could put the poll up and it would be over 100% to nothing

I will take tigers Well, that's the other number one That's the other number one This is the Mike show. Tigers was the pick. It was Tigers or Fire. Should we just give Mike all the rest of our picks? I would have picked Tigers. I don't want your bad picks.

But you guys got in my head about there being a better pick. So I was like, well, Fire. That worked out for me. Can I take Orange Juice? I mean, OJ? My gut says no. Okay, that's the judge. It's orange.

It's made out of Mike's pick. Dude, Mike's pick is king. Yeah, why is orange juice orange? You're right, you're right. Okay, give me. It's made out of Mike's pick. Give me the Grand Canyon. Oh, is that orange? Give me the Grand Canyon.

Oh, interesting. Is that orange? Give me the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon is orange? It's like a rusty. Yeah. Okay. Also give me Mars.

Ooh. They call it the Red Planet, but it ain't red. They do call it the Red Planet. It's not red. That one's tough. It's not, it's not red. I don't know, man. I'm fine with Grand Canyon. Mars is most famously known as the red planet, and its surface has a rusty red color.

Rusty orange. Fine, I'll pick something else. I don't even care about the show. It's things that are orange, man. There's a lot of things that are orange. Autumn leaves. That's the pick. Okay, okay. I'd like to, I want to be clear, on the fire, it's the blue part.

The blue part of the fire is what I'm... Go look up, go look up a picture of Mars, just genuinely. Look up the picture and tell me what color you think it is. If it's closer... Perto of Mars. I see something here that says planet Mars color palette And it's like one of those things you paint a room with the the issue is simply Mars is not red. It's Reddish it's on a

It's a different hue, but the fact that they call it the red Really that really hurts your argument. Yeah hurts it bad red I know really that really hurts your argument yeah hurts it bad go ahead Mike you're back on the clock and the take another brilliant fire truck fire truck is still on the board my hand Canyon get it before Andy does orange the Grand Canyon is dirt yeah but it's they're like orangey rocks fine I'm okay with that one I will take traffic cones they They're very orange. You could take anything you want. That's why I'm going traffic cones. Yeah, I mean it's it's fine. It's fine doesn't matter you got an orange. It's not cool. I mean you have The name of the draft. Yes. As an item who named the draft. So you're good. Things that are oranges is the draft.

Mike wins. Mike wins. I'll take oranges. Oh my gosh. Final two picks. This show is lost. I'm gonna take prison jumpsuits. Oh. Barry orange. Yeah. Safe at night if they're running outside. That's why they do it. Little known fact. Why on earth did before the orange suits were they like you know what we should do? Stripes? Stripes. White and black. That Little known fact. Why on earth, before the orange suits, were they like, you know what we should do? Stripes? Stripes. White and black.

That would be very easy to hide in the night. I think it's because they're behind bars. So they want them to look like bars? Yeah, their clothing is still behind bars. You should look like the prison you were in. But the prison bars are vertical. The bars on the shirt are Horizontal right what about when they lay down hmm when they're sleeping um

Yeah, they're still horizontal. They run vertical when they lay down my Alright my next pick OOP a loopers, baby. Oh, that's a good pick Oompa Loompas baby! Oh that's a good pick! That one is nowhere near my list! The Oompa Loompa? Why of course! The Oompa Loompa!

Okay, I got one more pick They come from Mars by the way The Oompa Loompas? The orange planet I go, Charizard I choose you! Whee! That's a good pick Yeah, cuz he's orange. I don't even care anymore I just want to know if Andy can pick some morning

Well sunsets. Yeah, so kind of yeah You got you got there we'll give it to you it's on my list, but I didn't pick it cuz I had sometimes as orange really depends on my list, but I didn't pick it because I was like, ah, it sometimes is orange. Really depends. Oh, this was- Have you seen oranges in the early stage? Yes, I have. You can take them in the green draft. Yeah.

I'll take an unripe orange for the green draft. I'm going to say this. This is one of the most fun times I've had doing this show. I've really enjoyed it. What else did you have? I had sweet potato fries, Cheez-Its, a pumpkin. Oh yeah, pumpkin was on. Pumpkins, certainly.

Pumpkin is on the list. Mac and cheese. How did no one take pumpkin? Bumpkin? Pumpkin. No. No. You're so, you're so.

That's not orange. It's, it's. It's. It's. I think... I have got sun kissed soda. And

I don't care what else is. Okay. What did we learn today? Oh, we learned a lot about oranges today. Mars is red. I learned Mike is king. Oh. Oh. OK.

I got a nice flop sweat going now. Yeah. Yeah. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to,

check out spitballerspod.com.