Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Mike’s Best Day & Things That are Orange - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: September 7, 2026

Spit Hit for Sept 7th, 2026:  Mike has his best day ever and takes over the episode in what might go down as one of the most memorable shows we’ve done. Would You Rather, a round of Ballerdash and a Things That are Orange draft got nothing on him.Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Skittity, scat, scat, boom, bam, ba diga-da-dingi. We are so back. We are so, we. I tried people.

We were in a lull. We were in a really dark, dark place. and then the hero we needed the Bidingi arrived from the darkness the Bidingi is back in your face Jason I mean look

when you say I tried who are you talking to I'm talking to the quiet majority that's what I'm talking to there is a very loud vocal minority who loves these scats

and we're back for you uh huh yeah yeah uh welcome into episode 323. Jason's been holding meetings that we don't know about. He's been recruiting on Twitter. Come on people.

I would, I think you're going to end. Who's with me? When you rent out. No more scat. No more. And they're all quiet. When you rent out the big, you know, facility and you invite everybody to come campaign against it, I think you might be alone in that room.

I was. It was embarrassing. I guess Al would be with you every 81 shows. he would be like anti-scat but that's got to be wait where are we now what's the episode number it's still a ways away it's got to be pretty close I'll figure it out again

I can't remember we're at 323 right now yeah we can ease you back into the scat Jay I know a good way to do okay tell me the next time you have to scat okay Josh has to scat oh that's great and does Josh ever done it

well he hasn't and I actually was asked by Josh a fan of Josh is a fan of Josh's video game podcast to make Josh scat. Fantastic. Was it his co-host? It was not. And I don't... I think you mean the fan of his podcast. Nice.

Oh, get wrecked. Oh, yeah. Body bag. All in favor? I. Oh, I. Yeah, there go. It's unanimous. Now, this is a blessing in disguise, Josh, because I could have put you on the spot. So, you know, now you know what's coming. You got time. You could do your vocal pushups. And this is just your people. Your people ask for it. I'm not scared.

Uh-huh. Well, we are. Yeah, because you're not doing it right now. Um, would you rather Ballard Dash and we are drafting things that are orange? We are. Like I said, we are so back. We are so back, baby. I got the 101 in the orange draft. You kidding me? Don't blow it. Oh, there's a pretty clear 101. There's a pretty clear 101. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. And I'm not, I'm not, I'm not I just feel like there's a clear 101. It's like, come on. Okay. Okay, we'll see if I get it.

Because now I feel like I'm going to fail. You better get it. All right. Let's get it going. Would you rather? Would you rather from Kira on Patreon? Would you rather have the ability to snap your fingers and instantly clean a room? An item or a vehicle.

So you could just, you get 10 snaps a week. Okay. And you can clean a room. An item or a vehicle. So, like, clean the car? Mm-hmm. 10 snaps a week. I'm using one on a car probably every week.

I mean, you could do your, you could do your whole house. It says a room. Oh, yeah, he's saying 10 snaps. Oh, sure, sure, yeah. I mean, a weekly. Ten snaps. A weekly free time. Maybe your house.

Yeah. Yeah. My house could be, we can clean it probably twice. Or, so you got that little snap cleaner 10 times a week, or have the ability. to touch a book and absorb all the information, one use a week. Oh, man. Wow.

So free cleaning for life. I'm a little weirded out by the, so like the vehicle, the room, and then there's item? Yeah. How often are you cleaning an item? Uh, trying to think of, like, I guess that's a vehicle. I was about to say like a motorcycle. Right. No, and there's stuff in a room that you might dust, but if you clean the room.

What items need to be deep cleaned individually? A toilet, but I assume that the toilet is clean. The bathroom. The bathroom is now clean. The only thing I can think of is... Is a pool an item? Oh, yeah. Pool's not an item.

But it's not a room or a vehicle. It's more of a room than an item. I agree. It's more of a room than an item. You go in it. You don't go in an item. Hold on. Okay.

Now we're... You don't enter an... Now we're into the good stuff. Is a pool a room? No. Yes. Only in a... Would you rather where there's item or room?

Yeah, yeah. It's definitely a room over an item. I mean, in Florida, they put up the, like, the bug protective tents over all the pools. So all the pools are like indoor pools, but not in a house. And those would be room stuff. Okay. Well, now we've got to define, what is a room? What is a room?

It is. One entrance. Well, that's not true. That could be two. I mean, there could be multiple. Obviously, people have to be able to go inside of it. That is a non-like. Yeah, but a closet is not a room.

room? I'm not saying that that makes a room if a person could go inside of it. But you must. That's step one. That is that is a that is a non-negotiable. You cannot have a room. If a person can't go in, it's not a room. If you can't lay down and stretch your arms out and not hit a wall, it's not a room. I agree. Like a closet, a pantry, something like that's got to have enough size of substance. So what do you do then for, for example, the way my house is laid out, you walk in. I don't know if you guys remember it. Like there's a front room.

I know where you're going. There's a front room. There's not a door to that. And then there's something, like there's a transition of the flooring material. Yes. But then there's a thing that would be sold as the dining room. Is there any, is not how we use it, but. Elevation change.

Is there any steps? It is completely flat. Are you blocking one room from the other via furniture? There is a couch that is sort of, but there's the walkway. So it is not completely. completely faux walled. You might have a great room. Yeah.

You have a great room. You have a great room. Or you can call it what it is a multi-purpose room because you're using multi-purposes, but that's one room. Apparently, do you have to have a door? This is where I'm going of definitions. You have a front door. So if you go through the front door, you come in, you're in the first room.

I think every room has a door. At least a doorway? No, you go down a hallway. You come into a, there's a hallway count. because your front room, your living room, a lot of the times you don't like open a doorway to a living room. Just open. There's a doorway out of it. There's a door to that room.

Exactly. There's a door in that room. Well, now you're lumping in my living room, which is like around the corner. So my great room is three different rooms. Just name me one room, one room that does not have a door. One room. Just find one in your life. I mean, the kitchen doesn't have a door.

It's got a back door. It doesn't have a back door, huh? You don't have a back door off your kitchen? I mean, I do. So does everybody. I mean, some people don't. Some people, you walk into the kitchen. There's no pantry.

Oh, now you're looking for loopholes. It's saying that's an interesting thought exercise. Apparently, people are getting tired of the open floor plans. Have you heard about this? Yeah, that's silly. So people went crazy with open floor plans. Yeah. And I think it was in part convenient.

It's not just convenient. For builders and stuff like that. No, it's also just you've. Like the space feels nicer. But people don't like them now. I can agree that there is, there can be difficulty. Like my room where it's two rooms and you have to figure out how do you segment them. But if you use the right furniture and things, you can segment them.

I don't, the people putting the walls up, those things will be ripped down in about five years. It's objectively better to be open. Yes. Oh, I don't agree. Oh, give it to me. Give me that open. You want them low ceilings and small hallways? I mean, sometimes, yes, I have three kids.

I live in a medieval castle. I want to go sit. Like I had a room that had like books and a fireplace and a couch. I don't want to go sit in there and read except for you got to walk through it to get anywhere in the house. So it's like it's constantly loud and trafficked and there's no seclusion. There's no quiet. There's no, I'm going to go over there and sit down and not be in the noise. You should always be reading in the bathroom, Andy.

Well, you. Problem solved. Bath. What? Room. You got a door on your bathroom? Yes, you do. Yeah, one way in. If you can't lay down, if you lay down, though, and your arms hit the wall, that's a water, that's a water closet.

Problem. Okay, so touching a book and absorbing all the information, I would feel a pressure. Tell me if I'm wrong. One snap a week, I would feel some pressure to prioritize a humongous book because I would not, like there might be books I want to read that are little, but I would feel the pressure to be. It's like war in peace, the history of the world. This is all these big. This is encyclopedia. Of course.

And you should because you can still read. This is still, this does not delete your ability to read. Yeah, but how fast do you read a small book? Faster than a big one. Okay. I mean, always. So, yeah, you're going to be touching the massive books of knowledge. Now, Alice.

You're going to be reading the small stuff you like. Now, is this true if you accidentally pick up a book? It uses your one time a week? They did say that. I didn't add it to the question. So if you accidentally pick up like a kid's book, oh, it's gone. Okay, so Sunday. One fish, two fish.

Every Sunday. Same with snapping your fingers. If you snap your fingers, whatever. Oh, that's, I'm. It's just cleaning something. I get 10 uses. Guys, Mike's always snapping his fingers. Always.

He cleans his own car 10 times in a row on the way to work. You guys are just going to have clean cars. It was going to be firing off snaps. Lucy goosey. It's the book one. Yeah, of course it's the book. Of course it's the book. Instant knowledge.

Yeah. I'll master something. I can pay for people. to clean these rooms. Come on now. Yeah. With all that knowledge. With all my knowledge. Jared from Patreon. When going on a trip, would you rather have everything packed for you? Oh, that's nice.

Everything is there, nothing left behind. Oh, my gosh. That would be so cool. I hate packing for a chance. I wish there might be, if there's someone out there that does this for a job, let me know. Or have everything cleaned and put away for you the minute you return home. Oh, man, that one's tough because every time I get back from a trip,

what I want is to put everything away instantly so I can relax. What I do is never that. Right. Well, because you can't put it away. It's dirty. Right. But, I mean, you have to wash it. Yeah, you've got to take out.

There's a lot more work involved in the unpacking, I feel like, than the packing. Well, just because you're starting with everything dirty. But then it goes right into the laundry basket. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, which needs to then be washed and then dried and then put away. There's no discretion there. When you're packing, you have to make decisions. When you're unpacking, you just chuck it in a, in a.

Sure. I go back and forth in my closet like 20 times. Yeah, that's true. You go get one thing. Like, oh, I need that one other thing. Unpacking, I'm just like, if unpacking takes me two minutes. If I'm being honest, and I will be honest, the amount of laundry that needs to be washed before a trip is just as much as after. That's a you problem.

Yep, that's true. I was going to say, think about when you're leaving a place and you've got to pack up to leave, how you pack. I mean, that's nothing. No, you shove it in. If I had a shovel in the room, like hotel rooms should just have a shovel. So you could just pick up all your dirty clothes. A little plastic clothes. What is your guys a strategy?

I know where you're going. In a hotel. Where do you put your dirties? Corner. I do a corner very much. I'm a quarter. Yeah. It's just, you find the corner.

It's so shameful. It's also just a cool feeling because you just really shouldn't be doing that. And it's like, you're free. Oh, it's great. No, it's usually a corner back by the bed. Like something around the corner. And it's thrown over there. But when you get to the hotel room, you're scouting quarters.

You know what I mean? You're like looking around like, that's the one. That's my dirty corner. And then you just go grab everything in the corner and just dump it on in the. So there was one trip. We went on a. a on a big week-long cruise. That's going to pile up.

It was going to pile up, right? And so we brought a two-pack of foldable hampers that, like, you know, when they're empty, you can fold them down to next to nothing, pack them in your suitcase. And then when you arrive, you poof, and they're huge, they're gigantic. And it was awesome. Oh, yeah? Because in a, like, a cruise room is very, very small. You just don't have a lot of corners.

But it was really practical. Could I get a room with seven corners, please? How many empty corners we got in this? I'm here for a week. I was really blown away. I'd like a white and dark corner, please, to separate? So, yeah. So the foldable laundry basket is great, but yeah, the corner is usually the, the corner is usually the,

go to for the laundry. Okay. Did we answer anything? What was the question? Everything cleaned when you get home or somebody to pack for you. I want to be packed.

Yeah, because getting out of town is more stressful than returning. And I assume in this question that it's a magical pack. It is perfect. Nothing is left behind. Yeah, great. So that, you know, you forget your meds or whatever, which that happens a lot with our house.

The stress level that this will take away Yeah, would be monumental because trips are a nightmare 48 hours before my trips usually. Yeah, you have the most stressful buildup to trips of any human on the planet. Oh, my gosh. I mean, somehow. Brutal. Somehow you were like, because your stories are always the same. It's like me and Mike show up, we're ready to go.

How you feel, Mike? I'm good. How are you? I'm all right. Jason, how are you? I was up to 4 a.m. It's always, I was up to 4 a.m. doing laundry, getting packed. I haven't slept yet.

It's like, I'm asleep on the plane. I got to find some coffee. Okay, Bryn from X writes in and says, would you rather work five days a week for eight hours a day? Dolly. Or three night shifts per week for 10 hours per shift. Is that the nine to five? Yeah.

Nice. Oh, a dolly, dolly. Dolly. Working nine to five. I don't know why we went with that voice. That's not Dolly Parton at all. It's more than our voice. It's more like Shakira.

9 to 5 No steps don't lie Would you rather work five days a week It's a normal shift Or three night shifts for 10 hours per shift So you work in less hours That's not that many less But you're working

It's 10 It's 25% less I'm just saying it's not enough less To have to live an overnight lifestyle Where you're on a graveyard shift And you're waking up You're picking the 9 to 5 Of course.

Three night shifts and then you got four days off. But how do you flip back and forth like between, okay, I'm going to be working it? I mean, it could be like. My circadian rhythm matters a lot. It might be his. You don't know that first word. His cicada rhythm. Yes.

Because it's like very noisy. What if you work Monday, Wednesday, Friday? I mean, you don't, Tuesday and Thursday are not like, oh, I get to have my whole day. There are a lot of jobs like firefighters to work a couple, 24s, you know, during the week. Our nurses will work 12s, like 312s. And it is a big adjustment, I think, coming out of that. Sure.

But 9 to 5 also, I mean, you just, it's funny because I will just, I'll be honest here on this show. We run our own company. We've done that the last 10 years. Before that, I worked for a small business. There was always flexibility in hours. I realized that 80% of America does not have flexibility in hours. And I often think when I'm trying to schedule things, like, how does everybody else do this? How does anybody, like when you say, oh, you need to make sure you're going for your checkups to the doctor.

If I didn't have flexibility with my schedule, I can't imagine making time for it. I don't understand it. We have schools around here that every single week have a half day. The kids get out like every single week. Those kids go to school for like two and a half hours. It's like, what if both parents work? How do these kids get home? It's a big issue.

Yeah. So can a, do you think a, because like a normal dentist does not work in the weekends, right? A lot of them will maybe take a little bit of time on a Saturday, but yeah. But so jobs like that where it's like people need to get in. Oh, yeah. But most people are at work. And you're like, well, I don't want to schedule a dentist appointment. My boss is like, this is going to be a nightmare situation.

could a dentist survive charging like double working just the weekends? I see what just being exclusively. I'm available on the weekend. It's a premium. Or Mike. Because I'm working the weekend. You are helping dentists and you are helping society right now. What if the dentist did three night shifts?

I mean. Or they work nine to five for the weekday. The weekend dentist. dot com. I'm going to see because after this episode goes live we've got to own that domain. Yeah, we do.

We won't need to learn dentistry if we really want to execute that. Well, no, we're just going to sell it. I want the three night shifts. I don't believe you. I got no commute. Say goodbye to the commute. Traffic, you mean.

Correct. Yeah, I guess I'm not transper. I'm not like you're not actually a vampire who could turn into a bat. It's funny because I do mentally, commute does not mean driving in traffic.

But I think of the word commute to automatically mean traffic driving. Yeah, no traffic. It's quieter. There's enough 24-7 places I can get stuff. Maybe I just make a full transition. Maybe I just become a full nighttime person. That's what everyone who works night shifts pretty much has to do. Three of them, like if it was two night shifts, I feel like I could adjust.

Three of them, that's tough. So you're going 95. I'm going 9 to 5. That's a quick one for you. You too, Mike? I'll take the night shifts. We got time for one more or should we move on now? Let's do one more.

Okay. Bryce from the website, would you rather be a horrible parent whose kids turn out to be perfect? Oh, or a perfect parent whose kids turn out to be horrible. Oh, man, this is the easiest question of all time. I object to the entire premise. I get that. I get that. And it should be objected to.

but before we get into the philosophical objection, which is worthy, I would just love to be a terrible parent with great kids. It would be great. Oh, my goodness. You know how easy it would be to be a terrible parent? Yeah. The reason. I got to do nothing.

I'm peace. I'm out. But then if your kids are not perfect, by definition, you've been a good parent. That's the part I don't. It's like, would you rather be a good mathematician who gets his sums wrong? No, that means the kids grew up well in spite of it. Yeah, and I think they don't like you. Okay.

I think that if you're a horrible parent, your kids grow up and they turn out okay. If you add that in like. Yeah, but a perfect kid, they appreciate their parents. They have respect for their parents. I don't think so. Whether they're horrible or not. No. They're like screw their crap.

I think bikes right on this one. Yeah, if they, if you're a horrible parent, your kids won't like you. Okay, so let's, let's amend this. They'll try to reconcile. They have such a good sense. Would you rather have be a good, hardworking, perfect parent? and your kids turn out terrible. No.

But they love you. No. Or you're a bad parent, terrible parent. Your kids turn out great. They've got a very successful life and they're good people. I'll do it. And they hate you. I'll do it.

I'll do it. You've got to take it on the chin for the sake of the kids. Why do we want them to be so happy and successful? Your children? Yeah. I think love. I think that's the purpose. But this is a weird. No, I know. I'm saying that's the purpose, but then you're literally saying you're willing to be hated by your kids for them to have good joy, like joy in life. Yeah. But then I also don't have to worry about him. Right. It's a win-win. Yeah. I mean, I see you guys are both going to win-win. Like you could be worse than you are now and they'd be fine. Yeah. Oh, man. If I could be a bad parent and know they'd be okay. Because right now you're on the like bad bad bad. My man. I'm super dead. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

All right, we'll take a break. What time is it? Game time. We are playing Ballardash today. We were given five prompts in five different categories by Al Borland himself. We gave our answers to Al to the five prompts before the show. And he will be reading from all five categories. He'll be reading R3 and the truth.

That is correct. You'll catch on to what we're doing. we each had to deal with a definition, a notable person, an acronym, a movie plot, and some weird laws. And so we've all submitted our fictional answers and we're trying to fool one another. I would say the fact that there's a category in here

called notable person and we have no notes of who these people are, are they really notable? Yeah, I mean, I think notable is not a really high acclaim. Notable is like the bottom of the... Right. You know what I mean? It's not famous. No, like someone one time was like, oh, yeah, that guy invented like the...

He has something notable about it. They made one tiny note about him. Right. Yeah, one small note. Okay. Go ahead, Al. Did I introduce that in any way, shape, and form accurately? You did great.

And the scoring format is two points if you guessed the correct answer. One point if an opponent guesses your fictitious answer. And we're going to start off with the definition of the word twang dillo. Whoa. Hey. Whoa. Twang Dillo. Is a twang dillo.

A quick slap. Is a twang dillo, a person who crafts flutes out of various woods. Flutie? Flutie. Is it a men's scarf that was popular with organized crime members in the 1930s? Men's scarf. Or is it to overreact dramatically to a mild paper cut? What?

These are all so specific. So who's starting with this? the has to answer for one I'll go first okay and then then we got to spin it around yep um quick slap person that makes flutes the flute one

uh men scarf and then overreact to paper cut that is correct uh and the word one more time twang dillo twang dillow can you use it in a sentence all right

my I'm gonna go I'm going I'm going quick slap. I'm going quick slap too. Oh, no. Oh, no. I will go men's scarf. That was my backup. All right.

Quick slap is the correct answer. So two points for both Mike and Jason and Andy guessed Mike's answer so he gets another point on top of that. Son of a gun. Yes. So three for Mike, two for Jason, zero for Andy. I could have had a four burger right there. You could have a four burger. All right.

I'm losing. Currently you are. I'm losing. There's plenty of time to make it up. I'm just joking. All right, we're going to move on to the notable person. Okay. His name is Wilbur Voleva.

Wilbur. Wilbur Voleva. Was Wilbur Voleva, a 1920s strongman knowing for lifting goats instead of weights? Okay. Maybe. Is he an arsonist who is known for starting fires with flaming arrows? An arsonist?

Like a Viking? Okay. Is Wilbur a turn of the same? century preacher who ruled a town where lobster's lipstick, booze, and bacon were not allowed. Nope. What is... Or is Wilbur

Valiva, the physician that invented the hypodermic needle in 1844. Dang, that's a good answer. Needle. So wait, strong man, goats. The goat lifter. The arsonist. The arrow arsonist.

The preacher were no lobsters and whatever, and then the needle. That's correct. You got it. Jason, you got to lock in. Oh, shoot, it's me first. I was waiting for Mike's answer.

Oh, why is you? I'm going to go that he invented the needle. Needle. Two for needle. Gosh. I'm going to go. Give me the lobster one. Oh.

I thought about it. I did think about it. Oh, that means it's it. With a four pack. Oh! He's on fire! He's on fire! I can't even believe how good you're doing.

He got the correct answer and both of you picked his answer. The hyperdermic needle was a great answer. Yeah. It was perfect. It was perfect. I can't, dang. No one in my goat lifter? Come on.

I was my arsonist with flying arrows. I was between the lobster and the goat one. Oh, gosh, I suck at this game. All right. All right. Is there like a double points? No, not in this one. But we might just do that audibly if he decided to if he's ahead enough at the end.

All right, we're going to move on to the acronym. The acronym is F.S.O. Does FSO stand for full self-operation? Self-operation? Does it stand for flatulence suppression officer? Come on, man. Come on. Does it stand for florist society of Ontario?

Okay. Or does it stand for Friends of the Sea Otter? Come on, man. What was the first one? Full self-operator. Full self-operation. I have to weigh in. Yeah, your first.

Sea Otter. Oh, man. Friends of the Sea Otter? What was the Florist something society? Florist Society of Ontario. Hmm. I'm going with the sea otter. Oh, my goodness.

I was going to go. He's trying to stay in the leave. So I was going to go sea otter. But then Mike's reaction was like, oh, that's his. He's laying it on too thick. It could be. But then he went sea otter. Right.

Dang it, Mike. I'm going sea otter. All three of you guys got the correct against her on that one. It was Friends of the Sea otter. All right. We're not doing bad, Andy. That's a good pit. Mike's just doing great.

I just scored for the first time. I'm doing pretty bad. I'm doing pretty good. Mike's just doing great. Mike is playing the game. So we got. You know what the. Rules should be, no joke, future game doesn't have to be today.

Whoever's in the lead has to start. Ooh, I like that. That makes perfect sense. I like it. Yeah. Then they can't play the stay in the lead game. All right, starting now. Not that you were.

You got the right answer. We got Mike with nine, Jason with four, Andy with two. And we are moving on to the movie plot. And the movie title is The Horrors of Spider Island. I don't like it. That's funny. I don't know how we have four different answers to this one. They are very similar.

Okay. Is the horrors of Spider Island, a soccer team crashes on an island where a mysterious fog turns people into spiders. Okay. Soccer team fog spiders. They turn into spiders. Correct. The horrors of Spider Island is that a treasure map leads to an island with eight legs.

Ooh. Is it a plane full of dancers crash lands in Yugoslavia and their talent agent is bitten. by a vicious spider. Nope. That's the most ridiculously specific thing I've ever heard. There's not just a plane, it's a playful of dancers. They're not landing anywhere, okay? They are landing, where are they?

Yugoslavia. Yugoslavia, boom-shabum. And their talent agent is bitten by a vicious spider. Or last is the horrors of Spider Island, a group of kids sneak away for their summer camp, only to become trapped on an arachnid infested island. Spider Island. little

little heavy on the nose there Mike you're up first I have to go first yeah don't worry you got nine points yeah you can do no wrong here I'm doing the dancers godgum it

that means so the soccer team the treasure map to the island with eight legs the dancers so I didn't do the real long one earlier it was long and it was stupid

and I thought that's too long and I feel like we've played that game in the past where Andy had the longest answer ever. And so he knows better. We already know better. Does the game know better? Does the game know better? I was going to go with the on the nose kid's summer. But Mike, you mean, but I can't catch you. If I keep picking. I'm just going to pick the right answer. I think it's the I think it's the absurd plane crash in Yugoslavia. I'll do the kids sneaking away. The last one you read. All right. Jason and Mike picked the correct answer, which was the dancers crash landing in Yugoslavia, and Andy picked Mike's answer

extending his lead. He is on fight. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one for the record books. Oh, man, I'm in double digits for the last one. Has anybody picked somebody else's answer that wasn't Mike yet? No. I have not had someone pick my answer. Dang it, man. Wow. That's a first. I have not had anybody picked my answer. I thought I was getting you again. Dude, I thought that my treasure map. Oh, I really liked that one. Thank you, Mike. I really did. I thought I was in on that one. That was a genuine that movie sounds fun. And then you didn't pick it. Here's a little

known fact. Well, I'll share it with you later. Never mind. The answer that's the real answer. Sometimes we look to chat, GBT, and AI to give us some ideas. It was the idea gave me was so close to that. I thought for sure it was just spitting that answer to both of you guys. Man. All right. So we got Mike with 12, Jason with 6, Andy with 2.

And due to the butt whoopin, we're going to make this round worth double. Quadruble. At least I can pass Jason. Jason has a chance. Andy does not. All I want to do is pass Jay. I don't care about Mike. Yeah, that's kind of how I feel.

I just want to hold on to two. Oh, actually, I guess you don't. Oh, no, you do have a chance. I'm sorry. In Kentucky, this is the weird laws. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry. A fishing pole into a cemetery. Okay.

Fishing pole. It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket. Okay. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry soiled garments. Okay. Or it is illegal to carry a harmonica in church on Sundays. Okay. Harmonica.

It's me? Wait. So you're seeing poll? Mike has to go first. Oh, I have to go first, too. We're handicapping you everywhere. I'm just upset about the, trying to say Kentucky doesn't let people rip on a harmonica in the church. Like blues traveler, they're not allowed.

They're not going to hold him down. Fishing, what was the, thank you. A fishing pole into a cemetery. Illegal to carry a fishing pole into a cemetery. Ice cream back pocket, soiled garments and harmonica. Oh, man. I'm going to go. I'm going to go fishing pole.

I'm going to go soiled garments. That should be illegal. That sucks because I should not pick that if I want to try to pass your equal. Yours. I'll go fishing pool. All right. Jason got two of you this time. The fishing bowl was Jason's.

Yeah. And Jason guessed mics just to round it out. Shoot. So wait. This is the second game in a row where. where five questions no one has picked one of my fake answers.

They're so bad. Are you the, which one are? I'll go through all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's hear. Oh, wait, what was the right answer? Oh, I'm sorry, it was an ice cream cone in your back pocket. No. I looked it up because I was so funny.

And apparently back in the day, people used to steal horses, which is obviously illegal. But if you could get the horse to follow you home, it was not a crime. so they would put ice cream cones in their back pocket and try to convince the horse to follow them. So that is insane.

Instead of simply saying, hey, if a horse follows you home, you don't get to keep it, they're like, we got to figure out what to do with these ice cream problems. Here's the five that you didn't guess. The person who crafts flutes out of wood. Yes.

The arsonists with the flaming arrows. The Flores Society of Ontario. That's really close. The soccer team that crashed where the fall. turns people into spiders and the harmonica in the church on Sundays. I had principles. I couldn't pick that one. I fooled none of you.

Mike wins in a. Oh, a landslide. Here we go. The spitballers draft. All right. So there's a 101, eh? Yeah, there is.

Yeah. And it. Remind the people what we're drafted. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. We're drafting. things that are orange. Not red or green. Yeah, that'd be silly. Orange. Yeah, we would never. No, we would. Not purple. But we have. So go back and show those episodes out too. Not yellow. Orange. Yeah. I'm going with fire. Oh, that's not

the one-on-one. But fire is a good answer. Mike, fire's great. You're up. Uh, orange. Yeah. I mean, come on. It's got the name. That's not the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. things that are orange, not most similarly named. It absolutely wins. When you think of something that is orange, you don't think first of a carrot. It's not what you think first of. It's the best things that are that color. Yeah. And it's an orange. Oranges are great. That's not the best thing that's the color orange. It is a terrible. It is a great thing. And what got named first? Has to be the orange. The fruit. The, yes. What do you mean? What are you talking about? What got named first?

The color. So we found this color and then they were like, ooh, it's in nature. What should we call that? The first thing they saw that was that color was an orange. And they're like, oh, so let's call it orange. Why don't we have something that's called pink then? I don't know. One guy didn't just invent all the colors.

Hand me that red. We don't do that with anything else. Orange is not the best pick. Oh, it's the greatest pick. Owls with me. It's got the namesake. It's like, it's. It's the grandpopy of orange.

And by the way, the draft is things that are orange. Yeah. It's not best things. It's just things. No. Things that are orange? It's the thing. It's orange.

I mean, Mike, you are crushing it. I wish you did the scat because it would have been incredible. This is just. It's orange. Episode title should just be Mike's episode. Goodness. You get to pick now, Jay. And unfortunately, Orange isn't there.

I know. Oh, that stinks. I was sad. You'll probably pick an orange it tang. Oh, Oh, Boston. Oh,

this is a fun show. I'm going to take, I'm going to take my favorite thing growing up. Made a lot of impact on my life. Very similar to your object, Mike. It is round and it is orange.

It's a basketball. Yeah. Yeah. He just giving me the stare down. Were you wanting a basketball? It's on my list. Okay. Yeah.

It's not fire. No, no, it's not fire. That one's the, I guess the NBA ones are still very orange, aren't they? It's funny. I had two picks in consideration number one, and one of them still on the board. So we'll see if it. Oh, man. We'll see if it gets back to me.

So Jeremy did come through. Oh, I picked twice. And it said that the naming of the fruit came first. Incredible. And then there was like, the fruit named the color. Yeah. You tell me that's not boss. Come on, man.

The fruit named the color. I mean, it owns the color. The sentence doesn't even make sense. It can't do any. It's a fruit. Yeah. And yet it did. And they're like, we can't call anything else this.

That's orange. Yeah. Orange claimed it. Okay. But how do we describe the color? Oh, crap. Okay. A tangerine looks exactly like an orange.

Oh, it looks not you like an orange. And it gets called tangerine. Yeah, it's so tiny. Yeah. It's not boss. How big are the oranges you're eating, man? Oh, it's the size of your fist. Yeah, for sure.

Okay. So dumb. This show is so dumb. All right. This award-winning show is so dumb. Yeah, you got a basketball. I got a basketball. We have been stripped of all awards.

I've got Cheetos. Oh, that's a good pick. It's going to be on everything. It's going to turn everything else orange. It's going to turn my fingies orange. It's also delicious. Are you a puff guy? No, no, no, no.

Standard crunchy? It's funny because the crunchy has become like the standard. But puffs had to be first. Like crunchy was a, no way. No, I think the small crunch ones were first. No way. That has to be that way. They're called a puff.

It was like an invention. Yeah, they didn't go back and retroactively named Cheetos. They didn't know how to puff stuff, man. It's Cheetos puffs. Someone, someone get on it. I'm seeing that the crunchy came first. Wow. That blows my mind.

Do you go with the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, crunchy stick ones or the ones that are the paw shape. The crunchy stick ones. All right. He thinks the mint Oreos came before the regular ones. Oh, they did. Look it up. Original crunchy Cheetos.

Yeah. Cheetos puffs didn't show up till 71. Puff technology hit in the 60s, man. They figured out how to puff it up. Yeah, because they're like, wait. Look at those breakfast cereals. Like, we can use less products. blow it up. What if we sell more air?

Yeah, but it's an exchange we all want to make because we want the texture of puff. No. They go. They get stuck in your teeth. Oh, gosh, I hate puffs. I don't even like this here. They're all puffy. Well, I'm not saying I don't like puffed things. I'm saying for Cheetos. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Do you prefer the puffy ones or the crunchy ones? Yeah, the puffy ones. Okay. This is a good one. Mike, you've got an orange. I've got. I guess you don't need. anything else. That's true. We could put the pole up and it would be over. 100% to nothing. I will take tigers. Well, that's the other number one. Oh, yeah. That's that's the other number one. You were ruined. Mike, this is the Mike show. Tigers was the pick. It was Tigers are fire. Should we just give Mike

all the rest of our picks? I would have picked tigers. I don't want you guys got in my head about there being a better pick. So I was like, well, fire? That worked out for me. Can I take orange juice? I mean, OJ. My gut says no. Okay, that's the judge.

It's orange. It's made out of Mike's pick. Dude, Mike's pick is king. Yeah, why is your, why is orange juice orange? You're right. You're right. Okay. Give me.

It's made out of Mike's pick. Give me the Grand Canyon. Oh, is that orange? Give me the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon is orange? It's like a rusty. Yeah. Okay.

Also give me Mars. Ooh. They call it the red planet, but it ain't red. It's not red. That one's tough. It's not red. I don't know, man. I'm fine with Grand Canyon.

Mars is most famously known as the red planet and its surface has a rusty red color. Rusty orange. Fine, I'll pick something else. I don't even care about the show. It's things that are orange, mate. There's a lot of things that are orange. Autumn leaves. That's the pick.

Okay, okay. I want to be clear, on the fire, it's the blue part. The blue part of the fire is what I'm... Go look up a picture of Mars, just genuinely. Look up the picture and tell me what color you think it is. Okay. If it's closer... Porto of Mars.

I see something here that says, Planet Mars. color palette. And it's like one of those things you paint a room with. The issue is simply... Mars is not red. It's... Reddish.

It's on a... It's a different hue. But the fact that they call it the red paintage. I know! That really hurts your argument. Yeah, it hurts it bad. Go ahead, Mike. You're back on the clock. Take another brilliant back. The Grand Canyon.

Fire truck is still on the board, Mike. Grand Canyon... Get it before Andy does. Orange. The Green Canyon is orange. Canyon is dirt. Yeah, but they're like orangey rocks. I'm okay with that one. I will take

traffic cones. They're very orange. You could take anything you want. That's why I'm going I'm going to be fine. I mean it's fine. It's fine. Doesn't matter. You got to orange. It's not cool. I mean, you have the name of the draft. Yes. As an item who named the draft.

So you're good. Things that are oranges is the draft. Mike wins. Mike wins. I'll take Oranges. Oh my gosh. Final two picks. The show is lost. I'm going to take prison jumpsuits.

Oh. Barry Orange. Yeah. Safe at night if they're running outside. That's why they do it, little known fact. Why on earth? Before the orange suits were they like, you know what we should do? Striped.

White and black. That would be very easy to hide in the night. I think it's because they're behind bars. So they want them to look like bars? Yeah, their clothing is still behind. You should look like the prison you were in. But the prison bars are vertical. The bars on the shirt are horizontal, right?

What about when they lay down? When they're sleeping. They're still horizontal on their body. They run vertical when they lay down, Mike. Okay. What's your next pick? All right, my next pick, umpalupas, baby. Oh, that's a good pick.

That one is nowhere near my list. The umpalupa? Why? Of course. The umpa lupa. Okay. I got one more pick. They come from Mars, by the way.

The oopalupas? The orange planet. Go, uh, Charzart, I choose you. That's a good pick. Yeah, because he's orange. I don't even care anymore, man. I just want to know if Andy can pick something orange. Well, sunsets.

Yeah. So kind of. You got, you got them. We'll give it to you. It's on my list, but I didn't pick it because I was like, I had sometimes as orange.

Really depends. Oh, this was. Have you seen oranges in the early stage? Yes, I have. You can take them in the green draft. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll take an unripe orange for the green draft. I'm going to say this. This is one of the most fun times I've had doing this show. I've really enjoyed. What else did you have? I had sweet potato fries, cheese it's, a pumpkin. Oh, yeah, pumpkin was on pumpkins, certainly.

Pumpkin is on the list. Mac and cheese. How did no one take pumpkin? Pumpkin. No. No. You're so? That's not orange.

I have got sun-kissed soda. And I don't care what else. Okay. What did we learn today? Oh, we learned a lot about oranges. Mars is red. I learned Mike is king. Okay.

I got a nice flop sweat going now. Yeah. Yeah. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballerspoderspod.com. Thank you.