Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Mike’s Greatest Joke & Movie Characters to Watch Your Kids - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

The Spitballers are back with another laughter fueled episode for you. Would you Rather starts things off, then we head into the Situation Room before drafting Movie Characters You’d Hire to Watch Your Kids.  Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Rudy, do, do, do, do, do it dole-ding ding-dang, do-don. Hey, guys. Welcome into the show. Hey, Andy. Oh, welcome into Spitballers episode 3,000 million. So it's a pretty big milestone for us.

Episode 368. See, it doesn't matter how many leap years there are where we've covered it. We've got a whole year's worth of content. Case they throw a few extra days into the year. Who's the authority on days that we have? I believe it's the Pope. No, it's not the Pope. No, I believe it.

It is absolutely the Pope. Oh, come on. It can't be the Pope. No, I think it was the Pope made our current calendar. I didn't ask that. Well, the authority on the days that we currently have. I said if we wanted to add some days today, think the Pope could be like, we got an extra day every week. I definitely think that the Pope is the only one that could do it. I feel like your level of conviction does not match the probable

truth. You don't even know what the Pope knows about astrophysics. You're telling me the Pope tomorrow could be like, we got two Thursdays every week. Everyone deal with it. I believe so. I believe. But he is an honorable man. Yeah, the reason we would, the reason we would say yes, we'd say yes, sir, probably, is because we assume he's not going to do that. Do you say, your highness? What did you? I'm not a Catholic. Your grace, your royalty? What do you call the Pope? Sir Pope?

The closest you've got so far is your grace. Your grace. I think that's the close. I don't know if that's the answer. I don't want to insult to anybody. No, I'm this is a real question. Your popliness. That's probably not it. It is his whole. His holiness. His holiness. Or sui saint-titas.

Well, in Latin. I would go with. His holiness. It's a tough word. Reading that out. Yeah, I feel like we're not on the right track here. I just wanted to figure out who gets to decide. Like, there's...

Science, Andy. Science decides. I understand, but don't... There has to be somebody somewhere that decides... The laws of nature. No, but... So everyone on Earth just agrees that Monday is Monday. Oh, Monday doesn't have to be Monday.

That's all I'm saying. I'm like, why aren't there some country? usually they're like, our Monday's Friday. No, there aren't because of the Pope. I'm telling you that's what happened. There was a Gregorian calendar. Yeah, but you see. Apparently they do because the entire world,

the entire world follows a calendar. Right. From the Pope. From the Pope. Yeah. Which Pope did it, Jason? Gregory the 13th. Oh, the 13th.

There was 12 before. There were 12 before and they couldn't get that calendar right. could not handle the calendar. We've got to get. We probably should get off of this. Welcome in to the show. Would You Rather Situation Room? And we are drafting movie characters you'd hire to take care of your kids.

It's a lot of be fun. Let's just some would you rather? Would you rather? It's Groundhog Day for the next 100 days you're going to wake up and repeat the same day over and over. Would you rather repeat your first day of high school or your first day of your first official W-2 job you ever had. Oh. Do you remember both of these?

My, both of them, let me tell you, for me, both were horrific. Both were horrible. You had a notable first day of high school? Yes. To be fair, to give, to, I don't know what, I do not know what happened, but I do know. Jason, you probably were the one to put him in the garbage can. If I had known him close enough, I would have.

But I do know, genuinely. no jokes Andy was and we had probably 5,000 kids at our high school was a large high school That's a 4,000 It was it was very large

I don't think you understand how larger school was 5,000 kids It was 2,000 but go on No, it was bigger than that Our graduating class was 400 people Times 4 equals 1,600 But go on We had over a million kids

Now go on We had 5,000 kids The whole point he wants We didn't You had 400 and something. Let's get to the point. Your school was a small city. I was little.

I was little baby. He was the smallest kid in the whole school. And right now, what are you? 6'3? Yeah. You're 6'3, you've been working out. You've got a man body. Not then.

When you were there, you had a 6th grade body. This is actually why both of the first days are terrible for me. It's the exact same reason. My first W-2 job, I worked at Babies Are Us. Do you remember this store? I do remember that store. How is that a bad day? Well, they put the men that they hired into what they called their metals department,

which was just like heavy items. Strollers. You worked in metals. Metals. That's what they called it. Metals. Well, no. Where'd they put you?

Well, they seem to think I was a man. So they pick up the phone and they're like, metals. We need someone to medals? Yes. I'm not joking. They're out of business now. But this is where strollers, cribs, cars, everything heavy in the store and the big boxes are.

And they automatically call them in from medals to go carryouts for the pregnant women. Yeah. But I am the smallest, not man, possible. Those pregnant women were way stronger than me. So I'd get called up to the front on my first day to carry heavy objects for pregnant women when I was so tiny. How bad was your first day of high school and why was it worse? It was worse because I took PE as the first class of high school. And you already know that that's bad.

that. I feel for you because I know what you look like and I know what high school PE is like. And they made us play shirts and skins. No, at high school PE? Basketball? Soccer. Oh. So I was very self-conscious of being in my new. Oh, wait, no, no. Hold on. I'm sorry. I thought

we were just doing a bit. You were in high school. Yes. Shirts and skins. They can't do that. Well, they did it. They better not be able to do it. That might have been the last day when they saw me weeping probably. I don't think they're allowed to do that. Well, Not anymore. You got to wear a penny. A penny jersey.

Yeah. Reds and blues. We do have confirmation that our enrollment, even today is about 2000. 2000. I looked it up. Yeah, okay, whatever. It was a big school. You looked it up?

Yeah, I did. You didn't volunteer your incorrectness. You were off by 3,000 kids, which is, in fact, larger than the number of kids who actually attend the high school. Let's just say Jason has $5,000 to his name. 5,000, J. I genuinely thought until this. He wanted to prove the point I was the smallest of all of them.

So the more, the bigger the number was, the smaller I got. I will say this. If you, if you took the three closest same-sized schools. So now we're talking 6,000. Andy was the smallest. I think on my first day of working at that job, I was also like asked if I wanted to go to the back and smoke weed. By the two other people that were owned. Just right off the bat.

Just right out of the gate. You like teachers? That little, no. That's not the school one. That was the job. Oh, babies are us. I'm having a hard time keeping up with all the numbers.

And I'm looking up. I'm right here, Mike. I'm trying to find like the biggest schools. If I had to choose which one for the next hundred days, I don't, I don't want either one. First day. Which, based on what I said,

which would you rather have for me? I would rather have the high school. And here's why. I think the Groundhog Day style where you're doing this over and over and you're going to learn and you're going to change. I think by the, I think by the, no, no joke. Okay, so the first, the first thing you're going to do is shirts and skins were a problem. I'm sure they broke them up in some way.

Yeah, I'm going to position myself to be safe. You're going to put yourself on that side of the gym because that you know that's. You don't need to do that. You look the teacher in the eye and you go, I'm not doing that. Sure, but by. And then they're like, no, you got, you're like, I'm not doing that. What are they? What's the teacher going to do?

do. But every single day you learn more and more. Send you to the principal because you won't take your shirt off? Okay. That's funny. That's a good point. That's a funny one. No. Oh, you're going to be in so much trouble. What's your detention for? Yeah, go to the principal. I wouldn't strip in front of my teacher.

And so he sent me here. I mean, that's basically what it would be. They'd be like, uh, sir. Never thought about that. We will never speak of this again. You know what? Your lunch is covered. Yeah. For the year. Just don't ever bring it up. Also, tuition is free. And what college you were interested in?

I do think by the end of the 100 days of learning, you would have transformed by the fact that like you figure out everything to say, everything to do. When you're in high school, you know nothing, especially your first day of high school. By the 100th day, I think you would have ended that school day being like king of the castle. You might be tiny, but you would end up the day being so popular. you would have done so many cool things. Just in general, our first day of work, how old were you guys when you got your first real job,

paid like W-2 job? I think. I was 16. Andy, how old were you? 16. I guess. No, I think I was, yeah, 16. I would have been 15, 14 or 15. I just feel like when you are 14, 15, 15, 15,

But you're in the workforce. You're in the real world. Well, I played the bass guitar, so I wouldn't really call it the real world. For a W-2? I did, yeah. Oh, that's not cool, man. That's pretty. I know which one you're taking.

You're taking the job. You were cool. Yeah, he was the original bassist in Bush. But outside of that, I think that high school-school- At first they wanted to come back down from the cloud, and I was like, what if we don't? Sorry, I'm sorry. I like it. What a niche joke?

No, I get it. I get it. It was small. I was like, I do want to come back down. It's the little things that kill. But yeah, I, I think that for Andy and I at least, high school would have been if you have enough time and experience to do it over and over and over.

Yeah, you do it. Yeah. Oh, yes. You could dominate. I don't know that I could have done that. Like, my first job was at Staples. Like the, the, you don't think you could have dominated eventually. I don't think, like, what?

am I going to do on my... I sold three printers today. My 16-year-old first day of work at a Staples. I will never convince anyone. Sidebar. How are these places open? Is Staples still around? If they want to sponsor, then yes. If they don't want to sponsor the show, how do they exist?

We all know the answer. It's a front for something. It's money laundering. It is 100% money laundering. They find their thing where it's like... So GameStop. Is it bubble wrap? Is that the only place you can get bubble wrap? It could be. GameStop. is around now because of trading cards. Like this.

You buy trading cards and you go to GameStop, the video game store to send your cards to get graded. This is how they're making. They've got a secret little thing. This is how, no, it's not a secret. This is how they're making their money now.

It's like they're a FedEx drop-off zone or something? Yes. So Staples just exist to sell Staples. Yeah. It is the only place I'd go for, It's the only place you can go to fax. Like, if you need to send a fax... I think they do offer shredding.

They've got a lot, but I think it's the last one with a fax machine. Do you think that their corporate offices, they are desperate every day coming up with new stuff? We've got to do. Shredding! Shredding! Can we do shredding? Shredding is down 30%. Pencil erasers! What are we going to do?

I don't know, man. I don't know how those places stay in business. So you'd go to high school. I'd go to high school. Mike, you'd take the band? I mean, I'll probably take the high school. Oh, really? Over the band. Oh, that must have been a bad band.

It was the church band, man. Oh, W-2. Yeah. Oh, serious. Okay. Would you rather be guaranteed a hole-in-one at the expense of every birdie you would have ever gotten? Or keep your birdies and never in your life get a hole-in-one. Look.

This is very specific. Yeah, we've been golfing. Some better than others. Josh is the best of the golfers in the room Only because he has never come out And so he's got the lowest score Highlight that So we get

Basically we get one We get one hole in one I don't care that much I mean I don't care that much about that moment Al if you got a hole in one Would that be something you remember for I mean I guess you'd remember it forever Yes you would remember forever

It just feels like if I'm getting birdies all the time That's more powerful over my foot But you're not getting birdie all the time. No, if I was, which I'm going to be soon. But you also think you're, to be fair, you also think you're getting a hole in one. We have a hole in one challenge coming up. It's through, I mean, didn't I make that proclamation on this show?

Isn't it a spitballer's? Yeah, I think this was how it started. I mean, Al, obviously thinks I'm going to do it. Mike, do you think I'm going to do it? No, Jason? We'd never think that. Al, do you want to change your opinion because you're alone with me? I hope you do it.

A hole in one. The weird thing is, I don't know if anybody thinks about this. When we golf now, we're at the stage of golf where we have to be conscious of things you shouldn't have to be conscious of when you're golfing. And one of them is is playing fast enough so the people behind you don't get mad. I hate that. Because we don't play good enough golf for that to naturally happen. Okay? So part of that means that when you golf right now, instead of like following the normal order of operations on golf, which is four people go out, furthest from the hole hits, everybody watches that shot, then the next furthest hits.

And we're all watching each other's shots. We're all sometimes hitting nearly the same time as each other to try to get through the hole. I think quality shots would be missed. I think there's a chance I hit a hole and one and no one sees it, is what I'm saying. Because we're all going too quickly. Okay. I guess we kind of always watch the T shots. But only Al could see him.

I've heard a tale of his eyes having tremendous eyes. Which, and Al does? Oh, my gosh. Does he really have owl eyes? Are you part owl? Not that I know. I mean, why are you, for whatever reason, I can see the golf ball's flight. It's way better than anybody.

Not just the flight. The lay, you could see a golf ball. You're like, yeah, it's right over there. And it's like right over there. You're like, under the tree. And it's like, yeah, that's 270 yards away. How can you see that ball? No one else could see the ball.

And you're like, yeah, you're 4.2 feet from the hole. I promise, it's right there. And then you go over there. And it's exactly where he said every time. It honestly, even, I would bring him even if you, even if it wasn't playing just to be a spotter. Yeah, like I don't need to buy a range finder. He is the rangefinder. You could probably tell the distance.

Who. Yeah, I'm going to take the birdies. Are you really taking a hole in one? I'll take the whole in one, yeah. Because you're not planning on any future birdies? No way. I think that my future birdies are few and far enough between that, like, if I golf the rest of my life right now, genuinely, I will have birdies. I will get them.

Of course. I do not believe that if I golf the rest of my life. my life I will ever get a hole in one. Yeah, that's, that's loser talk. Sure, but I think most people who golf their whole life don't get a hole in one. What percentage of a hole in one is luck? Okay, luck to skill

ratio for a hole in one. Luck to skill ratio of birdie. 15%. There's one element that is missing from your equation. Please tell me. Quantity of golf. Well, I think that's built into the skill. Maybe that's built into skill. I just think that like

and the more you play, the more luck you will have. If you go off every day for the rest of your life, you're going to hit a hole in one. Yes, you are. I don't think so. I don't think. I think people play their entire lives and never hit a hole in one. Well, that's true, too. Because the amount of luck of a hole in one is so high.

I think it's over than, it's 99%. I think, I mean, that's certainly true. The odds are one in 12,500 on a par three. So give me, there's a, do the division. Yeah, I'm doing it right now. What does that come down to? That's way less than one. That's the mathematical luck, right?

That's way less than 1%. Yeah, but 12,500, let's just say you divided that by days of the year that you played, right? That's 34 years. But then how many part 3 is per course? But that's assuming that you start, like, that you don't start over every time. Every single time is the same low percentage. Correct. It's not like, well, now I'm one in 12,499.

You're never due for a only one. All odds work that way. Of everything. No. Yes. Yes. All odds work that way for everything. If I tell you that, you know, if you flip a coin, you have the same 50-50 odds every time.

You're not doing a tail. But if I'm playing blackjack on a deck of cards, the odds shift. That's slightly different. But listen, one in 12,500 is 0% 0.0.0.0%. 0.08%. It doesn't happen. It does happen. People are on the wall of every course.

People win the lottery. How many people have you seen on the wall Of course for how many birdies they have? For how many birdies they have? You ever go in some of this birdie boy Over here? Look at the Hall of Fame. He gets birdies all the time. If you let me go off every day, 18, for seven years, I'll hit a hole in a way.

You think if we let you shoot on a par three for 24 hours? I'm going to prove you right. Wrong. Yeah, I'm taking the hole in one. I think it will stay with me forever. I'll be on my deathbed and I'll be like, there's one thing I need you to know. How insulting was.

I got a hole in one. And they'll be like, sure thing, grandpa. So we had a hole the other day where Jason hit his T shot 20 feet to some other T's. So he wasn't even off the T-box. He just moved through the different colored T's. He then hit a ball within five feet of the hole. How mad would you have been had that gone in? Way more mad.

Because that's not a hole in one. That would have been a hole in two. I was a little mad I robbed myself of a birdie by getting a par because I messed up my first T-shot. if I had sunk that, I will say this, I'll genuinely, honestly, if I sunk it, I 100% would have counted that as a hole in one. Yeah, we would have told the truth to the people's around you. And all of you would have counted it as a hole in one. Question for you. If I told you that every hole you shoot on, statistically you, before the start of the hole, you have a 30% chance of, hitting a birdie.

But from now on, everyone calls you bird boy. What? Would you take it? Not only would I take it. Bird boy. Yeah, I would take a heck out of that. You'd be, you'd be bird boy. You just push me.

You just push me. No, no, no, you're not birdie boy. No, I know. Bird boy. You're bird boy. But people would say, why do they call you that? And you'd be like, because I get bird. I don't think anyone's asking.

They're going to be like, they don't have to ask me. Oh, you bird boy? Yeah, I get birdies. What's up? And they sign me. Really? Yeah. You like people call you bird boy?

Oh, yeah. We're not good. We're not that good a girl. Bird boy. Why don't you call me eagle boy? No, it's a bird boy. You know what I was going to say a double eagle is an albatross, Jason. You knew that, right?

A double eagle is an albatross? That's what's right. It sounds like a bad thing. Which Mike jumped in with because he's so knowledgeable. It does. It does sound like a bad thing, but only because they can't fly, right? No, Albatross can fly. Can they?

Yes. Are they still around? Yes. They're the birds that can fly the furthest. Oh, get. Really? Yeah, that's what makes Albatross. Then why do we call something an Albatross when it's bad?

Albatross is like a negative connotation. It's an outlier is what it is. Right? It doesn't fit in with the rest. No, but Albatross is always negative. Nothing is, you're not like, oh man, this thing's been just an albatross of wealth. Metaphorically refers to a heavy, inescapable psychological burden or persistent problem that encumbers success. Thank you.

Yeah. That sounds bad. I'm not an English major. You know what? You can fly forever. An albatross around one's neck. Yeah. Hold on.

It's because it came from ancient mariners. A sailor shoots and kills a friendly albatross, and the punishment for that was the crew forced him to wear it around his neck. That's where it came from. Oh, is this Google AI? No. Yes. All right.

We're moving on. You're telling me an albatross can just fly forever? Yes. They're awesome. Wasn't it like, isn't that what's in Little Mermaid? That's an albatross, right? No. That's a pelican.

No. No. It's a seagal. It's an albatross. No. Segal or albatross. That's what I thought they looked like. It's a seagull.

Yes. It's scuttle the seagull, guys. I have a. Is it a seagal and albatross? No. You scuttle the seagull? Is a seagull? They look identical.

They do look very similar. They do look identical. Okay. I have the reason for the bird. of Albatross. I just gave you it. Give me the real one. Google AI gave us one.

Give me the real one. But there was a poem. Oh, those look very similar. A poem in 1798. Oh, it's those poets. They're always up to no good. Yeah. So in that poem,

someone killed Albatross following a ship, bringing down a curse that leads to the death of other crew members. As a punishment, the crew hanging the dead bird from his neck. I think this is what Andy was saying. That's what I just said for BATOM. I think you just confirmed. I didn't trust. will AI. So you read what I read

in a different tone? No, because I didn't listen to what you read. I know you didn't. We're taking a break. We'll be back with Situation Room. All right, Mike, do you know what an albatross is? Why that phrase came about? I can tell you. You're two very different questions, but no, I didn't look it up.

See, I was trying to bait you to repeat the exact same thing again for the third time. Do you want me to look it up? No, we're moving on. The Situation Realm. This has been a heck of a show. You are offered a free one-week stay at an all-inclusive resort, gentlemen. I'm in.

I accept. Are you listening, Jason? What? When you show up to check in, the manager explains to you the fine print of the promotion. Uh-oh. For 90 random consecutive minutes of every day during your stay. Okay. You will be followed at close proximity by a mariachi band.

90 minutes. This could be while you're at dinner, relaxing on the beach. on the golf course, getting massage or sleeping. Do you accept the stay or do you cancel your trip? I, not only do I accept, I extend. Guys, mariachi music rules. I'm trying to think of those situations that I wouldn't want it. No, the sleeping.

Yeah. No, this is what I'm saying. It's, you get, when a mariachi band is on, you're getting hyped. You're getting into it. Is that what you want during your massage? Maybe. Is that what you want while you sleep? You get hyped?

They can play romantic music too. Really? Yes. Absolutely. Romantic mariachi music? Yes. No. Yes.

They don't only play that. I've heard mariachi. They are frequently very talented musicians that play. There's just some music that maybe doesn't fit certain situations. Let me ask you this. As anybody here, Al and Papa Josh included, stayed in an all-inclusive resort where all the meals and everything were included? I have done it once.

Does it cruise counts? I've never done it. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. I was going to say, it's all-inclusive. You stay at a resort that's just on the water. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't want to include Jason.

Oh, I'm out. Okay, I'm sorry. Mike, you've stayed at an all-clos. Was it in another country? It was. Yeah, see, they're more common, I feel like, in foreign countries. We have some here in the United States. It feels like they have fine print, though, too, don't they?

Yeah, mariachi's. They show up everywhere. As a small detour since Jason brought up the cruises, I'm going on, we're going on our first cruise soon. Okay, congratulations. And Jason and Jeremy, they've spent an eternity talking about the merits of cruises and how great they are. So we booked the cruise. Okay, we booked the cruise. We've got the cruise signed up.

I mean, talk about logistics. My goodness, I need certain. Are you in the Pacific or the Atlantic? I'm leaving from Seattle up to Alaska. Okay, you're in the Pacific. I got to fly. I got to get the logistics to fly to Seattle. and stay in a hotel near the pier because we leave in the morning.

No hurricanes, but icebergs. Yes, icebergs will be there, polar bears. I can only imagine. But then we just get a call from the cruise company yesterday. Oh, yeah. And they're just like, yo, how's it going? Your cruise is coming up. Are you stoked or what?

They're just like, yeah, you want to pay $400 for your obligatory tips right now and then $400 for your other room's obligatory tips? Excuse me? What? Yeah, that's right. That's right. There's an expectation. What? And they just call you and just charge you an amount of us.

Which is fine. What? But it's weird to be like, I booked the cruise. Brother, you know what I did at my all-inclusive in Mexico? Oh, I know what you did. You left $0 for all those hard workers. There was a few of them from here and there. But like they like.

I have no doubt. It's literally you don't. They tell you don't. They look when you check in, they're like, don't you do it. They tell you don't. Don't. Don't. Don't you do it?

Correct. All I'm saying is I expected that bill to come with the ticket. It's an extra bill. They could have set any number in the world, right? And I'm already booked on the cruise. You're not obligated. Yeah, it is, it is an option. They present it.

They present it that way. It is not an obligation and you can always elect out of it. Right, but what happens if you elect out of it? Are you a good person or not? That's a great question. I mean, that comes down to what happens when you don't reward people for hard work. Are you a good person or are you? But if you're rewarding the.

for work that has not occurred yet. You should not use the word mandatory unless it's mandatory. I will tell you, I have done it both ways. I have paid the prepaid gratuities. And I have also elected to have them remove them from my tab. And then I tipped people that that served me personally. Okay. Two questions.

I tipped my cabin steward, my servers, my bartenders. Okay, full stop. Which side was more expensive? Oh, good question. And then follow up question. But one at a time. But which side felt more rewarding? handing somebody a tip for good service always feels more rewarding than signing a piece of paper

okay and which one which one did you actually tip more i think it was pretty close to the same but i would say that the prepaid gratuities were probably a touch more oh it's a lot it was a lot i mean i tipped well but it was only like you know a handful of people where the prepaid ones are supposedly split someone and when you prepaid you don't know a better service from the person that you're exactly when you hand them 50 bucks you also don't know like what don't worry about i totally pre-tipped. Yeah. I do, no, I feel, you

wouldn't even believe. The pre-tip that I sent you guys, so continue to give me a service. Totally different thing, but pre-tipping is. That's crazy. Insanity. That's crazy. There should be two necklaces people wear on that. Yes. It should be a green necklace if you've

prepaid your tips and a red one if you didn't. Maybe a gold one if you were like, I'm a heavy tipper. Yes. Because I need that person to know you've been paid. But the tipping, first of all. I should care of you. I swear. I really. To say it's all inclusive, but then. there's a separate phone call with a bill. And maybe my wife didn't interpret the call right.

But the words that she had were mandatory tips. I wasn't on the phone call. All I know is $600 left my bank account that day. And I literally had a moment where I told her, I go, after it was done, I go, are you sure there were from the cruise company? Because that's a sweet, figure out who's going on cruises. Call them up and be like,

you owe this money for mandatory tips. Give me your card. But I did confirm it. was from the actual cruise company. I will say, at least for the cruise line I sail, to remove the gratuities, you have to do it at guest services on the ship. Oh, that's embarrassing.

Yeah, you have to go up and face somebody, so I always make sure I tip that guest services person. Oh, my God. You're tipping the person to not tip people? You're tipping them to remove the tips. Yeah, could you please pull all the gratuities off my tab? I couldn't do it. And then I slide that person.

That is too uncomfortable. I'm keeping the mariachi band. Here's my policy on a trip. There was a question? Yeah, yeah, the mariation. Yeah, yeah. Here's what's going to happen if they do it while I'm sleeping. Guess what?

I'm having a party. Yes. This is what I'm saying. If a mariachi wakes me up. Yeah, whatever. It's inclusive. Where are the drinks? You know what that was?

They're included. You know what that was, Andy? Life handed you lemons and you made lemonade. You said, this isn't good. You want to bet? This is great. Whatever the Spanish version of lemonade is. I don't know what that is.

That's what I made out. Limonet. Is it a lemon of limon? Yeah. That's why I said. Limonade. That's all that's the Spanish I know. What's the stuff that...

Limon? That's the Tahin. Yeah. That's what I made. Your local wizard is common to you. Lemonade at all. With an offer, he calls voluntary exile. Sounds awesome.

You and your family have the option. Oh, no. So far so good. Tell me more. It's similar to voluntary tips. You and your family have the option to exile yourself from a current city. You get $100,000. If you exile yourself from your current city,

state. Oh, this is a cool question. You get one million dollars. Or your current country for $50 million. See you later, pals. I'm outy. Look, here's the rules. If you take it. Oh, I am out of here. 50 miles from your exiled location is the limit. You cannot go there for any reason. Man, I wish that current state one was a little higher than a million dollars. The gap between the one and 50. There's another place in this world I can find that's suitable. Never coming back. to America. I'll be in Switzerland. I'll see you guys later. Never coming back to America ever, as long as I live. That would be very, very easy to do. That would be difficult for me to do. There are people, there's friends, there's family. I have $50 million. To buy new family?

To have them come visit me. Or I could move them for a part of my $50 million. There's also a lot of, I mean, obviously tourist attractions, amazing destinations that are exclusive to America. However, I think what Mike is saying is 50 million dollars. You went too high on the money. Wait, do I get taxed on this? I actually nerfed this. The question that was submitted was a billion. I'll do it for 50 million dollars.

I'll live on the moon for a billion. Yeah. Don't hear what I'm... If this is one in five, though, one million, five million, are you leaving the country for five million? No. Not if I can never return. If I can get a million dollars to stay here and move. Why don't we exile people anymore?

This used to be a thing you could look up in history books. People would get exiled to islands, to other countries. You can't come back into France anymore. Because it turns out it rules. Oh, people like, oh, no. Yeah, it was like, oh, no, these people that hate me. Can't threaten me with a good time. I will never see them again.

And I'm going to go start my life anew in Australia. All right. Okay, hold on. Well, I mean, England used to send the prisoners down to Australia. Yeah. And you would start. And you know what they did? They started a country.

And the Pope would say, the Pope, your exile starts on this calendar date because I own the calendar. So same question. Same question, Jason, but the country you have to move to is Russia. I'm in 100%.

Do you know how big that place is? Russia might be on my top 10 list. Come on. They're going to walk up to you and take 49.9 million of that out of your pocket. This is already in my bank account. This is an earnings where I got a communist. The Swiss bank account.

So no, no, no. Here's the real question. Here's the real question. You're going to live in a lot. in Russia for that money? I would do it, yeah. Here's a question. North Korea? No. I draw my line. I draw my line. Here's the genuine question. You get $50 million to leave the United States can never come back. Where do you go? You can only get one. Interesting. You're going Canada. You're going to Canada. If I've already got the money. But you can't even, so now you can't travel anywhere. I mean, you, unless you're going

over the... Well, you're saying... Oh, because I can't fly out of Canada safely? I'm just saying like... I can 50 miles into the air. Put me in a spaceship. They've figured out air travel. No, I'm saying in order to travel

anywhere else... They got it down. In order to travel anywhere outside of your country, you need like a 10-hour flight. If you go to Germany or whatever, you can visit all sorts of countries. That's... I mean, that's fair. I mean, I would probably pick some country in Europe, I guess. Yeah. I'm saying what country? I'm thinking Romania.

I don't know. Yeah, I hear it's great. I don't... I hear all many is. I just know. You're 50 million. That's my point. It goes a billion there. That's my point. I had a, I had a, uh, whatever, a makeshift mom character in my life.

I don't know what's car. That's what you went with after, I don't know. I don't know what. No one had any idea what you were going to say. You could have said anything. But I didn't know. I didn't know what to say. So there was a woman I lived with in my teenage years.

Okay. You said it better. Yes, I did. I said something good. Yeah. A mother character in my life. The second way you said it, I have a lot of questions. Yes.

Anyways, there's a woman I once knew. Worse. Keep going. And once a year, she would travel to Romania for a vacation. Okay. Was she Romanian? No, she was not Romanian.

but she just went there every year because What other way could you describe this person in your life? I mean, I can go in the full detail. You lived with a fake mom. I lived with a, yes. Who is that? I'm getting worried.

Am I revealing something? No, no, no. This is nothing bad here. Did your dad drop you off at a house? No, there's nothing bad here. So, okay. Did your dad have more than one family? Now there's going to be so many questions out there.

I just have to answer all. Because you said it all weird. No. When I explain it, you'd be like, actually, you said it really well. Couldn't you have just said, I knew a woman once who went to Romania once a year? Not a makeship mom I lived with. All right. Maybe that was better.

Maybe. All right. That's what I'm saying. We don't know anything about what you're saying. When I was a teenager. No. I went and did performing at the groundlings in Los Angeles. Went through their training school, but I was too young to participate in their classes.

To do improv in Romania? Yeah, they wouldn't let me cross the border That you would have crushed And so the woman who ran that school at the time I lived with her In California So she was like my mom in the summers For a couple of years

Summer mom We're off to a better track here There you go that wonderful woman She would go to Romania once a year And the reason she talked about that was She's like she goes When I go there I'm just rich Just filthy rich

Like you can go over there with so little money and the the difference in the US dollar. Watch this. American dollar coming through. Yeah. Watch that. I knew two Romanians and they said the same thing. So if you've got $50 million.

I didn't live with them or anything. And you could just transplant to Romania and you're like, this is my country now. I am king. I have always been really neighboring countries of Romania. Go. Hold on. Yeah, I think. Continent of Romania.

Can I guess one? I don't know if I know. It's in Europe. It's close to Asia. It's like near the Eurasia border. Europe is very large. Yes. What part of Europe?

What quadrant? It's in the eastern part of Europe. Okay. Western part of Asia, but closer. Western western part? No, no. I know where this is. Okay.

Describe it with one direction. It is in the eastern part of Europe. I would say south-eastern part of Europe. That's what I would say too. Yeah, because that's where it's at. Close to Spain. No. Spain is a little bit.

bit further west and south. Spain is well. Is it by Hungary? No, Spain's west. That's what my best guess would be. Yeah, I mean, it's over by Turkey. By, uh, by Italy. Uh, closer to Italy, but it's by Turkey.

No, Mike, do you know, or are you just trying to make a look done? No, I have, I have, I have, I know, to the stands, all the, the Kazakhs stands and all the Uzbekistan and. No, Denmark. Does Denmark exist anymore? Yes, it does, Mike. But that's, that's Northwest, isn't it? Doesn't it?

Yes. Well, like Netherlands. Yeah. The Danans. The Danans. We are so dumb. Well, because we are. You guys are so dumb.

Was that right about the Hungary thing? Yes. Oh, okay. It's bordered by Hungary and Bulgaria. We're Slovenia. Is that around there? I don't know. Yeah.

Serbia is also on the border. It's literally the self-east of Europe. Hungarian brothers and sisters. I nailed it. Well, just our non-American, like our European audience. Who sounds like we'd have a hard time getting around once we're exiled. We, for sure. We as Americans get made fun of, Inuit, appropriately, because we don't know enough about the globe.

Here's the thing. We have 50 states. Yeah. You have one country. It's true. And then you get to know the other countries like your states. Yes. Mike, this is such a good point.

It's the exact same thing. Like, do we all know where all the 50 states are? No. Of course we don't. We know a lot of them. I will say. I know two thirds of them. I will say this, though.

there's the issue is I feel like people in Europe know a lot more states and locations. No, they can't. No, I've seen. You tell them to find Idaho on a map? Yeah, we're not going with Idaho, but they know Florida. They know New York. They know Washington. And they know California. California. They know Texas. Okay, that's fine. And Alaska. But decent was 100% right on what Romania is. And it's large. Is it? Yeah, it's very large.

Well, okay, what kind of driving distance are we talking about? Driving. Oh, how long would it take to drive across? Yeah, because people bring that up. They're like, oh, I was driving through Germany. It took me 11 hours. It's Germany-sized. And I'm like, it's Germany-sized. Brother, have you driven through Texas?

One state is more than 11 hours. 14 hours. They call it to slightly more South Poland. Romania? I just made that up. I was like, what? Bro, you have just upset so many Romanians. I know.

I know what? If I run into you, I'll give you 50 cents and you'll be happy. Okay, so I named my country. Where are you guys going with your 50 mil? Wait, you're going to Romania? Yeah, I'm going to, I want to be king. Italy. Yeah, I need, oh, that's nice.

I need summer with ocean. Italy's pretty good. If not that, maybe Ireland. A lot of ocean. Dude, Ireland is awesome. Yeah, never been there, but it looks great. Scotland for Al Borland. Are there a lot of owls there?

I would love Scotland. I don't know about that. Where's the best golf? Where's Monty Carlo? Where's that? Is that a real place? Yeah, oh, that's a movie. James Bond gambles there all the time.

In Monaco. Monaco? Oh, that's where we're going. We're going to have a big race, too, right? Oh, yeah. They do the F-1s there, right? And the Count lives there. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Von Chocolat. Honestly, we'd all go to England. Let's be, we go to the UK and just be like. I can't handle not speaking English. Oh, I forgot about language. Yeah, I did too. We're going to the UK. Money's the universal language, right?

All right, we've got to take a break and draft. How you say hundreds of dollars? We are dumb. We are dumb. The spitballers draft. All right, we are drafting the best countries. If you have to live in with $50 million. Only $50 million.

Honestly, we should put that on our draft list. All right. No, we are drafting movie characters. So any movie character that you would hire to take care of your kids. Oh, man. There's a 101 and a 102. and I'm taking it. Oh man.

I know what your 101 is and it's awful. No, it's not. It is awful. Mary Poppins is the 101 and it's awful. How do you possibly think that's awful? You guys haven't seen the movie. You haven't seen the movie. I've seen the movie.

Not in a long time. Yes, I have. Yes, I have. She wants the kids to be well-behaved. It's literally my wife's favorite movie. I've seen Mary Poppins so many times. That is. Yo, oh, dude.

Mary Poppins is, I don't know how else. I don't know. This is a family-friendly show. I can't say it. Oh, dude. She is awful. She is awful. No. She's a turd. No.

She is a straight turd. Somebody needs a spoonful of sugar. She is. She does. She needs to eat that sugar. She is strict but fair. Yes. And teaches the kids good lessons.

Thank you. The end of the movie, those, they're good kids. Yes. Watch the movie. She's so unlikable. She's so unlikable. Jane and Michael at the beginning of the movie, Mr. I've, I even seen Mary Popp's. I named the children.

Mary Poppins is. He works in a bank. Mary Poppins has a great PR team. And I think his name is Banks. Everyone thinks that she is this delightful. She's not delightful. She's a rude, mean, crotchety. Nope.

Not the Disney movie. Yeah. Well, it's all the Disney movie. Well, there's others. It was a book before the Disney movie. And I think there's like other things. Maybe. I don't know.

Stern discipline, whimsical magic can deeply carry. Yes. About herself. All right. I asked chat GPT to explain her. And she said she's bossy, vain, smug, emotionally unavailable. There you go.

And absolutely refuses to explain anything. But she also fixes your family, teaches your kids wonder, and then dips before anyone can get to attack. That is exactly. There's no way you just said just described Mary Poppins. No, what was your,

what was your prompt? I want to know your prompt because maybe you did. What was your prompt? Be honest. I can't repeat. Oh! Oh, you tried to.

I'm so sad. I said is Mary Poppins a turd, essentially. Okay. Yep. Your honor. Look, leading the witness. I will say this. My opinion of watching the character is exactly what Chad GVT just said.

That is exactly what Mary Poppins is. Go watch it again. Don't because it's a bad movie. All right. Mike, that was insulting. You're up. I just, I am. This is ridiculous.

You tried to defend. Uh, Mrs. Doubtfire. Yep. Will be my second. Hello. What an awesome and caring nanny who is caught up in some circumstances. It's just a dad who wants to see his kids. So he dresses up as a nanny and he sabotages all other people who could get.

Who amongst us? I do think back to making that movie script the first like twinkling of an idea for that one. Yeah. No, that was a great movie. Great character. I like the pick. You could run into some problems. You just, you could.

Certainly. Long term. Certainly. Yeah. No, see, I'm going Mary Poppins. Jason hates her. Mike, Mrs. Doubtfire.

Jason, you get to pick. It was a run by fruiting. That's a great line. That's a great movie. That movie is awesome. Likeable, endearing. Does she teach any lessons to the kid? Jason hates that.

Teach his lesson. No. Jason hates the lesson. I don't mind lessons when you're awesome in the way you do it and your heart is in the right place and you're not as selfish, angry. I mean, she is lying to them. Yeah. She is deceiving them.

That's true. sometimes you have to deceive those little monsters. I am going with... I'm... I'm surprising myself here. This definitely was not... Like, I didn't come in here thinking I was going to take two from the same movie. I'm taking two characters from the same movie.

From the same franchise, several movies, from the same book series that's been turned into a movie. But honestly... Oh, don't do this. Both are individually awesome. First of all, I would love for Hagrid to watch my kid. Hagrid is delightful. Are you going to Hagrid Dumbledore?

No. No, Dumbledore would son. Who are you going? Mrs. Weasley. Hagerd is such a... Wiesley's a great pick. Hagrid is such a terrible pick. Look, he will get

all of the things he's blown up. You're going on Mary Poppins and Haggret's like... Look, they both have umbrellas. That forest is full of spiders. You probably shouldn't go in there. Anyways, I got stuff to do. Don't go into the spider. He also lost the dragon. I will...

Hagrid... He can't even keep track of a dragon. When I come home... He sucks. He sucks. He's a parental unit. I hate to tell you this. When I get back from my date night... When I get back, the kids will be out of breath.

They'll be going... Two will be dead. Everything will seem fine. Two will be dead. No, everything will seem fine. And I'll say, how was it? And they will all look at me like something crazy happened tonight. But it's all okay now.

And at the last second, right before I got home, they magically fixed... All the massive problems they went through. I get that. Who magically fixed it? Haggery can't use magic. He sure can with his umbrella. Why don't you grow up and read a book?

He's not allowed. He's not allowed. He's not allowed. That doesn't mean he doesn't do it. He does it. Occasionally. You're like, you know who's great cat in the hat? That's exactly who I thought of. What a great person to watch my kids of my house.

That's insanity. So what I care about you is I care about my children experiencing life. Also, Miss Weasley's too intense, frankly. She's too intense. Says Mary Poppins, drafter? Get out of here. She's so gentle. She's going to bake him a cake.

Miss Weasley always has chaos around her. You chose two chaos characters. Well, that's just because she's got a hundred kids. I don't. You know how easy it's going to be to watch my three kids? She's going to be like, we got to get into the psychiatrist booth here. You just chose two characters that represent your own. daily life.

Are you Hagrid? You could have picked, you resent Mary Poppins because you wish she was there to help you. Oh, I would love to have Mary Poppins around. You just picked Cat in the Hat twice. Twice. No, not Cat in the Hat twice. Mrs. Weasley's. She's chill. She's going to be fine.

Things happen on her watches she can't control while her hair's all frazzled. Her hair is definitely frazzled. Interesting page. I'll grant you the head. Mike, I don't know about that. And I got magic, so everything's going to be all right. Tell that to Harry Potter's parents. Miss Weasley, Miss. Oh, yeah.

Slam dunk! That's one of my favorite jokes you've ever made, because they're dead. That's so dark. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, man. Oh. I got magic, so everything's going to be on. I love that. Tell that day that Potter's parents.

Who, I'm surprised you didn't pick Voldemore the way you're drafting. All right. Well, I've got two more picks, so you better draft him before it gets back to me. Wow. Thanks for leaving so much for us. Mike, you're on the clock. Oh, this is my second pick? Yeah, you got Missed Dalfire.

Mrs. Dalpire, sorry. Oh, I mean, it's all the same. She's married. So, don't do the, blah, blah. I'm taking the, I just, I'm saying, I don't, I don't need Papa Josh to people coming to the U.S. Pacifics.

You know who I'm talking about? Give me the Terminator. Interesting. Give me the Terminator. This is what he just said not to do. No, no, no, but I'm saying like the Terminator. I think it's the T-100. Am I correct, Papa Josh?

You want Schwarzenegger. You want him in Terminator 2 because he was protected. Yes. Yeah, okay. You want the protective Schwarzenegger. I love it. I love it. That is correct because he taught John Connor so much about, like, I mean, he is an emotionless robot, and yet he's able to learn, and that you see the growth. We have the whole soliloquy of Sarah Connor being like, I've watched the boy in the robot.

He has taught him so much about life, or whatever she's saying. I didn't see that pick coming. I think you could have, it's a good pick. I think you could have snuck it through. It doesn't matter. All my picks are great. So I have Mary Poppins. I'll sneak them all through.

My second pick is Mufasa. Mufasa is actually very high. I'm picking Mufasa as my son. That's a good pick. I look, he'll sacrifice. And the voice. That's an authority. Those kids are going to clean their rooms twice.

That's, it's really, you know, and things that are not fair. Hmm. Male voices. Oh, gosh. I thought you're going to say Mufasa's death, but go on. Also very unfair. I'm saying like, how, what? Some people just get a voice that makes you.

Yes. It's the only. It's the only. reason in my life I have smoked a cigar and a pipe and I can't keep up with it because it's just so gross you're trying to make it but I want general says no but it's like Morgan Freeman says yes I want that I want those those voice there's almost nothing I'm more like I'm not jealous and obviously like Chris Hemsworth am I jealous of his body absolute yeah you talk about but I don't but I but I but I'm not really jealous of his body I can't get that I can't be six foot whatever

and I'm never working out and eating like him. Right. But the voice, I feel like that. He's got a very low voice as well. I want, I'm so genuinely jealous of guys with Don Draper. Yes, just those unbelievably rich, deep voices. All right, my second pick then on this turn, Mary Poppins-Mufaza. I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with Alfred.

Oh, dude, he's on my list. It's not on my list so good. He's on my list. And, you know, you could say any one, any of them, but Michael Kane is the one. I'm going to think about because he's got the voice too. You're going to listen. He's going to take care of you. I'm going, Alfred. That's what a butler does. They take care of things.

My issue with Alfred is, I think maybe he didn't set enough boundaries. Could he, though? He's old. He's old. He wasn't. No, Alfred was actually born old. He was born old. He was born 80 years old. How old is Alfred when Batman has grown up? 70. Okay, so...

But when he was a boy, he was 70. Yeah. Alfred was... I mean, always... Batman will die long before Alfred. Yeah, Alfred's there for every new Batman. But that's what I'm going to go on. I'm just saying, like, if you were raising a child whose parents were, you know, savagely murdered in murder alley,

and then you just fully enable him to become a vengeance? Yeah, to become the dark night. I think maybe you should have set a couple more strict boundaries on him. Maybe a curfew. He's not pro-counseling, is what you're saying? I don't think he cares. I know just how to deal with this. You have all four?

Put on this costume. Mike is up. No, I have three. Mary Poppins and Fawson and Alfred. I'm going to dress like a bat. And I don't get a talk like this. Whatever you want, Master Wayne. I'd like to keep my job and your parents are dead.

You're really my sole employer. We don't really think about that. He is. He may resent him, but it's his only job. He has no way out. He's stuck. All right, I'm back up. No HR department in the back cave.

You're up. I am going to go. It took some time because of his background in his occupation. But Gru. We got there. Oh, I like that. We got there with Gru. We got there.

I mean, he's a great dad. Oh, I love that. Not only is he like, like, I, I'm okay being in. No, he becomes a great father figure for these three adopted girls. He gives up his life of crime. Noble. Comes a good guy.

I don't know if I'm spoiling despicable me for everyone out there. But yeah. That's a great pick. I'm going to Tengrew. Jason, you have Hagrid and Miss Weasley. What other picks from that same series are you going to make? I'll probably go Dumbledore and Herownie. I mean, Dumbledore is better than both those picks.

No way. Yes. No, he's, no way. He's not chaotic. Exactly. I want chaos for my children. Let me guess. I got your third pick. The Tasmanian devil. It's on the list. What happened?

Guys, what happened to the Tasmanian devil? He's been gone a while. He was my favorite. But he was, like, there's. When we were growing up, he was popular. There are 50-year-olds roaming the streets of the United States of America with Tasmanian devil tattoos. This dude was it.

Everyone loved. Everyone loved Taz. Come to Tasmania. What happened? What happened to Loonie Toots? Does anyone know? Did his drawing like expired? Like they can't draw anymore?

The IP? The guy's like nobody else. He became free domain. They're like, we're out of year. No more. The cash cow of the Tasmanian devil is gone. All right. I know my final two picks.

They're going to be less chaotic. but still also great picks like my first two. First is Mr. Miyagi. I mean, you want someone who knows how to take care of things in his own way. And he's going to get the chores done while teaching my kids karate. The chores will be done. They're going to be taking out garbage and cleaning windows. And next thing you know, they'll be able to protect themselves.

It's a pretty good pick. You know? It's a pretty good pick. I didn't even have it on my list and I showed up. Oh, that's a solid pick. And the last one, I want someone who is capable, lovable, but also willing to sacrifice. If it comes down to someone who has to necessarily put themselves in harm way in volunteer as tribute, I will take Katniss Everdeen. Oh, okay.

She cares for her family. She does. She will put her life on the line. So. I mean, she will kill kids, though. Other kids to protect mine. That's a fine line. That's fine with me. That line is totally fine. What happens if she finds herself mentally in the game? Those aren't just kids. Those are people who volunteered on trip. Just don't make a mistake or were volunteered. Yeah, they were volunteers. Those were kids who were volunteered to do it. Yeah. Mike, you're up. Let's see. There's a lot of strong contenders here on this list. The fun thing about this is I feel like there are a billion.

you could go any different way. I mean, you drafted the Terminator. I didn't see that coming. I'm going to stay with special powers then. I will take Mrs. Incredible. Interesting. I had... Elastigal girl.

Who is already a very strong and great mom of three children. With the extra power. She can, yeah. I mean, with the superpowers. On my list. On my list, she can handle this. On my list, I had Edna Mode. That's more like my Terminator, but.

Yeah. So it's the same. Same universe. And honestly, Mr. Incredible. Like, that's a good franchise to get some. He got there. He got there. Yeah.

Well, Jason, your, your pick of Mr. Miyagi really inspired me because I, I like what you did. You get martial arts training with leadership. You're going to take good care of them. They can defend them. Tell me it's Stevenson. I'm going splinter. Oh, that's a good piece. He raised four great turtles.

Nobody's raised turtles like he has. No one. So that came out of left field. It wasn't on my list. When you brought up Mr. Miyagi, I started thinking, how do I get my kids trained properly? And yeah, one of them's going to end up being kind of a leader kid. And then another one's going to be like kind of the nerd.

One's going to be like a party animal. One's like a rebel. You only have three. So which one are you getting rid of? It's cool but rude. I don't need any of them to be Donatello. Oh, I thought you were going to get rid of Raff. I mean, he wants cool but rude.

I do want cool but rude. I do want cool but rude. I do. Someone's got to be out there. I guess Raff would be the one to get rid of if you want everyone to get along. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Sure. No, the harmony. The harmony of the churtles. Without Raff, though, everyone would be so mad at Michaelangelo all the time. Raff is the one. The two serious guys and Mike is like throwing pizza around. That's absolutely true.

You need all four. I'll get one more kid. Calabunga. All right. Mary Poppins, Mufus, Alfred and Splinter. Mike with Mrs. Dalfire the Terminator grew and Mrs.

incredible, aka Elastic Girl. Jason with Hagrid, Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley. All the Weasleysle's. No, Mrs. Weasley. And Mr. Miyagi and Katniss Everdeen. Anybody we forgot there from Ducey's Alley? I've got to... I don't have any more that I love.

I had Nanny McPhee, the better Mary Poppins, and Aragorn. Erigorn knows how to take care of them Littles? Nanny McPhee? Yeah. Just because she's ugly. Dude, how rude of you? No, I think. she's mean. She's way less mean than Mary Poppins.

Rude but cool. She's mean and hideous. She is hideous. What do you guys think about Chewbacca? Could he get it done? I don't think our kids would understand him. Yeah. I mean, that's fine. Just yelling at him. What about Marlon? From finding

Nemo? He lost his son. He lost his son. My kids can't breathe underwater. He can't breathe in the air. We have a problem. The whole premise is him being a bad dad. Yeah, but he went so far out of his way to get him back. So you're saying if they lose my kids, he'd be able to find him. He did. He's also... I was thinking like, Aunt May, but I'm like, she had no idea what Spider-Man was doing.

She was lost. She was clueless. Yeah, you have a Doc Brown. No, no, no, no, that dude's like, hey, teenager, jump at this time machine. That's true. He's like, hold on. I'm being chased down by... No, I like, he's like, stand here, stand right here. I stole some plutonium. This science experiment, assuming I did everything right, will travel in time. He could have incinerated that teenager. Yes. Yeah.

And he was getting shot at while they had to actually. Yes. Yeah, that's not good. That's not a good one. What did we learn today? Jason thinks Hagrid's a good character. Jason thinks that our high school had 5,000 kids. What did you learn, Jay?

about yourself. I learned that Mike had the best joke of all time on today's episode. That was really good and bad and good. I loved it. We'll be back with another episode at some point next week. Goodbye. Goodbye, everybody. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballerspod.com. Thank you.