Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Moonwalking Departures & A Restaurant Battle Royale - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: October 6, 2025

Another hilarious episode is here and this week Would You Rather see’s us looking at hilarious ways to enter and exit a room, Ballerdash returns with some insanity and we wrap things up with a Restaurant Battle Royale. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. That is not... fair you can't bring instruments to the scat like i'm glad you liked it because that was so bad dude that was that was terrible you brought a horn to a mouth party it was terrible it was terrible it was terrible i don't think it was andy how did you feel about that i liked it a lot yeah it was really good i will say this i didn't like the volume was i wish you had been louder no i wish you had been louder it sounded it was a muted trumpet it was how do you feel about it now you

had the thing on the end? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that you reinterpreted it, it's fine. Welcome to this fitballer. Somehow, episode 342. Jeremy's note, the notes were extra jazzy. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I meant, Jeremy. See, Jeremy, I know. Yeah, I know. Self-awareness. That's good. I'm aware. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're saying extra jazzy is bad? Why not that's a nice way of saying he chose some very outside the box notes there. Okay. I was like in

shut up. So I like what what a lot of people don't realize is in American music like we have our scale of notes and there are other scales that include

like semitones and Jeremy. I'm with you brother. What are you? So And which ones did you hit? I hit the simitone. I was living in the notes within side the notes. All right.

If you want to talk about jazz, let's change the subject here. All right. What is today's date? We're recording it, you know, whatever. You're going to listen whenever. But as of this recording, we're recording on October 1st. That's right, which means Christmas music came out. Last night I'm doing dishes.

No, Jason. Jason. Jason. Yeah. No, it did not. But you guys will understand this. October 1st. It was awesome.

It was awesome. You know, you'll understand this. You all understand this. We got, all three of us just had delivered a special edition vinyl to our houses of the Charlie Brown Christmas music. That is true. We just received them. We ordered them months ago or whatever. I saw it on Twitter and I was like, hey, the guys would love this.

so I posted it, and we all pre-ordered. Yeah, we all got it. I got mine in. Even though I already had it, apparently. Sure, but you have. Anybody want one? This one's a pictograph? I don't even what you call it. It's a nice, cool picture.

It is awesome, and I put it on, and I rocked it so loud last night doing this. Unacceptable. What? Unacceptable. Andy, you can't be the one to say Charlie Brown Christmas is unacceptable. You are like Mr. Charlie Brown. The music is great. I don't know how to take that.

That's an insult. If you bought a Christmas, tree that's a good deal in July, you don't just put it up when you get it. I mean, did you just fall in your chair? Yeah, a little bit, yeah. Let's, we'll move on. Would you rather a game of Baller Dash and a new battle royale today on the show? Very excited. This is episode

342. We are getting close to having an episode for every day. My phone was going off. Sorry, everybody. Your computer was going on. the year good good this is going great um sorry everyone but how were those jazz notes on that computer those were good those were inside the normal range of uh acceptable notes are our normal scales thank you that was fine as for another podcast jason a boring podcast would you rather Breel from X says

Would you rather have to enter every room by kicking the door open dramatically Pretty cool Or leave every room by moonwalking out Also cool I would start the conversation of How good is your moonwalk Let's say both of these are good Yeah I assumed you learned it

Like you learned how to really do it. No, no, no, no. Okay, I'm going to get it. Your moonwalk is what your moonwalk is right now. Oh, it's pretty. Oh, man. It feels so good and it looks so bad. I think I would be.

That is a tremendous answer. Yeah. That's how my moonwalk is. I love thinking I'm doing it. I feel like I'm crushing it. Yes. And then I see it. So I want to give myself a six.

The most rickety herky-jured. Yeah, I just walk backwards. I want to give myself a six. I really do. Oh, let's see it. Well, we're on carpet. It wouldn't play here. I'll show you afterwards.

You know where it's really good? Bowling alley. Oh, well, of course. The floor is perfect. Yeah, so slick. It's funny because I really do think I can moonwalk okay. Not like, oh, look, I'm a dancer. I can do this.

Like, I'm going to go out and record in public and people are going to be like, whoa. Look at that. I don't have that. But I feel like I can do a pretty good moonwalk. But after Andy said, I feel like, I feel like. like I can do a good job, but it's not. I think that's probably true. It feels great. It feels great. Do I get to do a spin and then moonwalk out? I feel like that's essential for me. I'll allow that. If I could spin and moonwalk out, that's my choice. Spin then moonwalk. And you're better at a

moonwalk post-spin. I just feel like if I'm facing you, we're having a conversation. It's time for me to leave. I'm not just going to moonwalk towards me. No, it's a full 360 and then I moonwalk out. All right. Are you doing an MJ kick, though? Yes. Yeah, yeah. I'm kind of getting into it. I can't do the kick. My hamstring's too tight. The forward. Can you do the hacklesack? He does kicking the doordowns is going to be a problem for you too. Oh, I can still kick a door down. MJ does a forward kick, but he also does a hacky sack.

Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. My leg is not very... For either of them. The dexterity is not good. I think that I could kick a door down. He's got one hamstring between the both of his legs. Here's a thing. Here's a difference. So that people listening and they're like, what are you talking about your hamstrings type for a kick, but you can kick the door down. If I kick a door down, I can lean my back, back, and I can smooosh that door. Okay.

But if you're doing an MJ kick, you're standing straight up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your toe is very pointed. I can't do that. It better be pointed. My toe is six inches off the ground if I'm standing straight up. Okay. So that's not a moonwalk kick for me.

I do think kicking a door open when you come inside is awesome. You can hit somebody. But could be a problem. You can break the door, you can hit people. It makes you automatically aggressive as opposed to just awesome and cool. Even if you're going for awesome and cool and it's not aggressive, sometimes you don't want to be awesome and cool. Right. You're walking into the funeral.

Sure. Or you like your kids' parent teacher conferences. Oh, yeah. Boom. Daddy's here. What if after you do the kick, though, you do a bab boom, baby? Huh. It's better.

Huh. It's not worse. Is it less or more awkward? Less awkward. I don't think Booboom baby's really in. I was going with Emperor's New Group. If you... What if it was Hayo?

Let's take the parent-teacher conference. I like that better. You like Hey-O better. Okay. You can choose your catchphrase, but you have to have a... Daddy's home. You have to have a catchphrase. I don't think that's the one you're going to want to go with, but...

On the parent-teacher conference, let's be the... the teacher, okay? Yeah. Security. So you have a parent. I'm over here. I'm scribbling some notes. I'm waiting for my next. And a parent kicks the door in and says, boboom, baby. I think I'm in on that. It's probably been a boring day, so that's probably okay. I feel like I'm in on that.

Parent teacher conference. Let's say a parent walks in. Okay. You sit down. You have this great conversation. Okay. Your kid. It's not my best kid. Tough combo. Yeah. Not the kid not my best kid okay your Mike your kid is slightly below average okay he's missing a couple assignments

but it's really his attention and hygiene so anyways you finish this you finish this parent teacher conference I'm the teacher you're the teacher and then the parent gets up I'm just saying we are the teacher yeah and then the parent gets up says thank you

you get a hearty handshake and the moon walks out very cool very cool I feel like so weird it's just a dad trying to do something funny I had totally forgot that part of the question after a bad conference like it was a negative conference

like if your kid was awesome if it was like okay your kid was the best and then he moon walks out it's like hey this is a good time but if your kid was like hey he's struggling I'm doing something that's what I would say and then the parent moon walks out I'd be like well that kid's going to be a loser

but when you enter with a kicked door now the whole future is set up for let's be awesome interesting I think I'm a kick door guy yeah I'm a moonwalk guy Mike

split the difference I feel like I mean in this particular circumstance that we're talking about of the teacher conference didn't go so well and you're not the worst and you're just like okay

thank you so much you hit a spin move you hit a cross grab, and then you just moonwalk out. And I'm the teacher. I think I'm more in on that than the kicking the door open. Really? Yeah. I think so. Is that your vote then? Yeah.

All right. Simon. I'm going to moonwalk. I'm the cool one. You guys are losers. Next question. You get arrested. Simon from Patreon. Would you rather have to keep your toothbrush on the bottom of your sauna? Oh, okay. That's where the farts are. That's the farts. So no rinsing. Yep.

Or all your beverages have a stranger's chewed gum in the bottom of it. Oh, cool. See, the big problem there is stranger. It's my farts versus a stranger's mouth. Does, uh, Jason, what are your thoughts? Okay, I'm going to be honest right now. You don't need to be honest. I already know.

What are you doing? He's not listening. I'm not listening, but here's what I heard. I heard it's my farts versus a stranger's mouth. That's the only context I have. have. The only context I have is it's my farts versus a stranger's mouth. Jason, we're working

right now. What are you doing? He was typing and I was trying to talk so slowly so he'd catch up with me. My parts versus a stranger's mouth. I'm going to take my farts. Okay, my answer is my farts side. That's not the would you rather. I'm not going to be the mouth. That's not the would you rather.

Okay. It's would you rather have your toothbrush kept at the bottom of your sauna. What are you doing over there? He was vigorous. typing. Are you texting? It's got to be a trade or something. No, I was. I was texting. Our Mike and I's stylist are, are, our, oh, for your hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm leaving after this. Myself, my youngest son, my oldest, I'm, but both my boys, we're all going to get our

haircut. Okay, so we're flying to New York tomorrow for like a little family trip. Yeah. He just texts me out of the blue like, hey, you're my only clients today. Can I push you to next Friday? And I'm trying to tell him like, we're flying in New York. York tomorrow. We've been waiting. I need a haircut. My boys, oh my goodness, did they get a haircut. So I'm trying to explain that. And then I hear my fart versus stranger's mouth. So finally, answer, my fart. Well, okay, what was the question? Say it over. Would you rather have to, wait, wait, let me send this stuff. Okay. Would you rather have to keep your toothbrush on the bottom of your sauna without rinsing it? It's the fart zone. Oh, that's the

fart sauna. Or all your beverages have a stranger's chewed gum in the bottom of them. I mean, that's the fart song. It's the fart song. The stranger's chewed gum. You're exposed to a different stranger every minute of every day. I don't know if soda and carbonation and whatever's in it would like nullify all the risk, the germs. It doesn't even matter. I will smell my own farts any time.

Brushing my teeth with my own farts, I hate to break it to you, but I learned this our last episode, you're already doing it. There's poop particles in your toothbrush. It's already happening. There's more at the bottom of the sauna. There's a lot of, like, there's a lot of sweat going on. No, no, there's not more poop. There's got to be more poop particles when you poop in your sauna, huh?

Than poop particles when you fart. That's got to be a fact, right? Can someone look this up? Okay, well, let me ask you this question. Okay, you're in a sauna. Okay? Put yourself there. I'm okay, I'm there.

You're sweaty, right? It's very hot here. All parts of you are sweaty. It's wet. Even the part you poop with. Yes. Right? And where does the gravity go?

Down, it's juicy there, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, you understand. what I'm saying. I understand what you're saying. It's a wet fart. And your toothbrush is down at the bottom. You're going to have the brush with sweat poop. I'm not, to be clear. And you can't rinse it. No, to be clear. No liquid is hitting my toothbrush here in this part. Okay, I know you're trying to get it to where it's a liquid wet part of the toothbrush. Even the scale. You don't have sweat that pools at the bottom of your sauna? Thank you, Jeremy. Where your toothbrush is? I'm a little worried that I do. Oh, you do. That's what he's saying. But it's not. But it's not. It's not. from my butt it's running it's running down your whole body where do you think it's your butt sweat's part of the cumulative sweat well okay all right your armpit sweat is in there too my oh okay my sweat the toothbrush on the ground it's on the you're telling me I have to go bristles to the ground bristles to the ground yeah at

minimum on the side yeah it's fine the side is fine no it's everything it's everything because my toothbrush Oh boy, here we go No, it's not some crate Everybody, half the world Has a Sonicar toothbrush Has a side protector Hey, did you know I switch

To the electric finally? Wow Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I've been Sonicare. This question is done. Yeah, and it was so It was so ticklish For the first week I used it.

Are you, wait, are you hybrid? Are you hybrid? No, I'm full Sonicare. Waterpick? No water pick. Oh, brother. Baby steps. You missed, you had a chance.

I'll tell you, It was right in front of you. Not a sponsor. Don't care what toothbrush you use. You can use a different electric toothbrush. Holy crap, my teeth are cleaner. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Yes. Yeah. It works really well. How much did your gums bleed the first week? Well, I just seen the dentist, so they had bled at the dentist and then they told me to go get an electric toothbrush. So that's what I did. I'm just saying every time I'm, it's life changing. I feel like every time I get a new head on my electric toothbrush.

Oh, yeah. I realize I haven't been brushing my toes. Oh, is that a real nice treat? Yeah, yeah. It's not a nice treat. How often you pivoting? Every six months or six months. After my bristles look like they're doing the whelp.

Oh, right. They got the arms out going, you let them tell you when you need a new one. I'm not going to brush these teeth. I don't know. And then you say, well, I need a new one. And then you put a new one on, and it's like you're brushing your teeth with a rock hammer.

I am so jealous. Andy, you get to take these steps. So you went from the caveman toothbrush. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To a 1990s tooth brush. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I got for my kids, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the modern toothbrush with the water pick, it's right in front of you. I'm worried about blasting my teeth off.

No, no, you can control that thing. Wait, Jason doesn't use that? I've had it. I've gone back from it. Oh, you're back to the 90s? I'm back to the 90s? What are you a soy boy? You too soft?

Jason also bought a super fancy flosser. That's true. So he doesn't need the water. Oh, okay. Do you still use your fancy flasser? Yeah, proclamation, not a sponsor. So basically, when you were still, starting the sentence is like, my toothbrush, every assumption I had from that point on

is true. No. You do have a fancy, I mean, you already have a fancy flosser. No, no, no. I don't have a fancy flosser that is not my toothbrush. Right. I don't have the flossing toothbrush my case. I have something way better than that.

What's the very rich city overseas in the Middle East? Dubai? Dubai? Is that where your toothbrush is from? It's got to be. So, man, I hope so. I want to go there and buy all of what they have. You don't even know how you sound.

You don't even know. I know how you sound anymore. I kind of think I do, and I'm sorry, everybody. The fact that you get to experience this for however long you want to do it, and then you're going to buy the water pick version of that? What's the cost on that? It's the same process of Sonicare. Sonicare is like 50 bucks.

Oh, it's a little bit more. You got a cheap Sonicare. Hey, I got good news for you. There's a lot better Sonicare. There's another tier above the Sonicare. Oh, yeah. You got the kids of Sonicare. No, no, I got it.

50 bucks. It's 50 bucks. What is this loser doing? Did you find it on the side of the street? It was a garage sale. I bought three of them for my kids and one for me. Goodness crazy. A $50, Sonic.

Oh my God. Just go put your head in the toilet, man. Switch it around. It'll clean it. Are you serious? Yes, I'm serious. Wait, is there a better model? There's like 10 times better models, brother.

Really? Yes. It's your teeth. I'm enjoying the one I have. That's great. It's not connecting to Wi-Fi. 49-99. So.

Deliverable today between 5 and 10. Okay. Well, I just linked you the one you need. Wait. Is that what we roll with you? No. Oh, no.

How did this become the... If you're going to go Sonic. This is the electric toothbrush episode. Yeah. What the heck is this all about? It's a diamond clean, bro. Now, that's not even the one with the pick. No.

But it's about the same price. The diamond clean doesn't have a pick? No. No. Why is it so much better? Why is it diamond clean? me about it. Wait, is that what you have?

No, this is what I have. You have the $50 one. No, he doesn't. Nobody has a $50 one but you. You have gone from the $5 disposable toothbrush to the $50, which seems like a electric tube, which is great. You went to the used car salesman and they were like, hey, are you interested in a toothbrush? And you're like, yeah, I would love one.

Gently used. Yeah, let me take you to the back. We've got them back there. We don't put those out on display. It's the normal price. No. I think we have a couple There wasn't even a deal

It's just always that cheap We got we got a couple laying around from last year You guys are getting bamboozled and No my teeth are pristine That Dennis is going to be pretty disappointed I don't know how good they are I don't need to When is your next dentist appointment six months?

Yeah He's going to be mad at you man I got what they said He told no you didn't know you didn't Ask Papa Josh Okay Papa Josh Would you get the cheapest electric toothbrush in existence.

My entire family has the $50 ones. That is exactly what I expect to you to say. Yeah, exactly. You have Papa Josh's toothbrush. There is no one who would I mean, that was exactly what you said. We should have... I actually... We should have just called it the Papa Josh

toothbrush when you said I got a $50 one. Oh, you got the Papa Josh one. Okay, that makes sense. Now, I had mine before Andy even got one. Oh, for sure. You got to... I'm sure you got a deal on yours. He saved $2.99. He's this on Black Friday. It was $30. bucks. I just thought this is the normal side. They all share one.

I'm going to be straight. Their whole family you save so much. Basically $10 a person, man. I'm going to be straight up honest with you when I went from the dentist directly to Target, okay? Because they said get this and I'm like, I clearly need it. You know they're doing your guns and it's like a two,

a three, a two. There's a couple fours in there. First time ever. Wait, I don't know. You don't know what that means. What does that I mean? It's like the recession of your gums. Yeah, they check all your gums. Oh, you wouldn't know. You don't go to the debt or they've receded.

So you check that and they're like, you need to get a soniker. So I go to Target. I'm going down the aisle and I see 4999. And my honest to God first thought was, wow, those are cheaper than I thought they'd be. Oh, yes. I was wondering which way you were going. I was like, wow, I can get a couple like for the kids now. I was worried you were going to say, oh my gosh, those are expensive.

But good for you. Good for you for seeing the truth. So your kids have those? Wow, Papa Josh could. get these your kids have those yeah do you know how much of cavity cost yeah they okay all right they were using the old schools before all right i'm gonna just move straight on you get it set it to tent set and forget set it to tent blasts for me there's just too close i know me and jeremy are on level 10 blasting the cavities away no if you yeah man andy okay get a grown-up

tonic hair which you don't have oh my god And then get a pro- And then get a pro-claim, and your teeth will be fantastic. And that'll cost me what? Do you want me to say that on air? I don't think I do. Okay, I think that's smart. We're going to play a game now.

What time is it? I feel like I've learned. I mean, like, that conversation... I'm so proud to tell you guys I got an electric one, and then I got buried. It was like that conversation was electric. It was so good. And I feel like I learned something, honestly, that if I'm ever going, you're like, hey, I need to go get something new. And I look at the...

And I'm in the aisle. And I go, that's the one Josh would buy. Oh, yeah. I know I need to go two steps up. Right. Otherwise, that I'm just, I'm throwing my money in the garbage. Have you taken a look at Josh's teeth? Yes, I have.

Get bodied. Oh, man. Oh, man. Josh, I got three available Sonicers. Apparently. Slip off, Josh, you know he's in. Josh will scoop them up. They're used, right?

Yeah, you can switch to the head on them. I still got two heads left. So we're playing Ballardash. We are given five different prompts from five different categories. We secretly gave our answers to Al prior to the show. Yeah, we definitely did. not publicly post them. Jason. You, you know what? If you

keep guessing all the ones that aren't mine, you better guess mine. I'm telling you, Boy Scouts on her. I did not see Jason. And he hasn't said this, though. Well, I didn't even know what happened, so I missed it. I did. I took all of my answers to this, and instead of getting them to Jeremy, I gave them to our public Slack channel for about 45 seconds. And so, y'all might know my answers. No, I promise you, I do not. But we're going to go ahead and Al's going to read all of our answers back for each item along with

the real answer and we're going to try to identify the right answer and two points if you get the right answer. One point if an opponent guesses the one that you submitted to try to trick everybody. So Al, let's kick this thing on. All righty. We're going to start with a weird word and that word is Sysile. That's how you say it? Yeah, of course. I'm guessing. I have no idea. S-C-I-S-I-L-E. I'm just saying that would have affected how I gave my answer. How would you say scissors? I'm not going to...

Schizzers? I would not call them cissors. Yeah, that's fair. Cizile? Is that what you were thinking? Cis-I-R-S-I-Rs? Wait, how would you think this word is pronounced? S-Z-I-L-S-I-L. C-I-L.

Yeah. Like scissors. I really don't know. Okay, here we go. C-Z-I-L. Is it something that is easily cut? okay he's the cut two separate things of the same type okay two same type interesting a military explosive device containing shards or sharp metal resembling pieces of scissors okay nope the awkward silence that happens right after two people try to talk at the exact same time oh well that's tough yeah what was the first one read those all over again there's the easily cut the two of the same type, the

military explosion and the awkward silence. Jason was, you were texting your larbour, I got you. Oh yeah. He responded? He did. Was it something that is easily cut? Two separate things of the same type. A military explosive device containing shards or sharp metal

resembling pieces of scissors or the awkward silence that happens right after two people try to talk at the exact same time. Well, I've got my answer locked in. I've got mine locked in. Who goes first how do we uh i'll just start okay so mine was easily cut easily cut i've got two people of the same type what was that some yep that was one of them all right uh two the second one

two separate things of the exact same type yeah uh the correct answer was something that is easily cut which jason and mike got no no no no i'm sorry i apologize andy and mike got thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you jason chose andy's answer yeah i i knew that when he was like no no no So I literally heard my answer and it was like, what a stupid it's, oh, that's my answer. Oh, really? Was yours the military way? Yeah, it sure was. That was pretty wordy, Mike.

It was. Well, sometimes they're wordy. Hey, look, I'm on the board. Step one in this game. That's not, I'm not there very often. Easily caught. You actually. Too similar to scissors.

That's why it's good. And then there was another one that was similar to scissors. Okay. You did win this game. last time, Andy. I did? Yes, you did. Okay. And you are up three to two to zero. Oh, that's good to know. And we are moving on

to a notable person whose name is Dick Beals. Dick Beals. Okay. Legendary. B-E-A-L-S. Richard. Richard Beals. Okay, Richard. It's Jessica's father. Go on. Was he a short king

famous for over 100 voice acting roles? Was he a short Who wrote Short King? Guys. Guys. Was he the host of the first variety show in the early 1930s? Okay. In the 30s?

Was he the voice actor of the cartoon Gumbi? Gumbi. I remember that. Or a notable psychologist that came up with the theory of irrational desire. Ooh, I got that. I got irrational desire. You know what I'm saying? We know.

Okay. So it's one of three. Wait, which one is out? I want to know. The short king? That's Jason's. The short king has been removed. You don't.

No, I don't. I don't. You can choose it. I will lock in short king. Mike. Okay. Jason's lost. You've got to put yours.

Okay. So we're the host of the something from the 30s. The first variety show. The first variety show. Voice of Gumby and the psychologist. I'm going to go. I'm switching to psychology. No, you're too late.

No, you guys haven't even gone. I'm going psychologist. All right, he switched. I'm going to take the host from the 30s. I will go voice actor from Gumbi. Wow. Wow, I thought for sure you were Gumbi. Andy got the correct answer.

Dang it. He was the voice of Gumbi. I should have gone short, Jing. Because I know I couldn't have given anyone else a voice. That was Jason's answer. You guys knew that. I knew he didn't.

He went off of it. hoping to bait us into it i went on to it hoping to bait you in nobody went so i was like i'm bailing i didn't go in because you said short king right okay that is a phrase that has popped up in the last like three years so here's the truth i chose short king specifically because i thought that's too dumb to come up with like and it's only in the last three years so it would never be so none of us would be that stupid so it has to be that one but you you went too far around the circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Daggummit. Guess who answer my question?

Or guess my answer? Mike guessed Andy's answer and Jason guessed Mike's answer. Oh, nice. Nice. I got zero. Yeah, you do. You're a little short king. I'm not done though. We got more rounds to go. We got Andy with six, Mike with three. Dang it. Jason was zero. Gumby, baby. That was so good. And we are moving on to the acronym. And that is S-I-T-U. Okay. S-I-T-U. Is that an acronym? Is that an acronym For Strategic Initiatives in the Unknown. Okay.

The Unknown. Standards Institute for Toilet Upgrades. Toilet upgrades. Okay. Got it. School of instructional technology and utilities. Oh, that's so good. That's awful.

Okay. Society for the investigation of the unexplained. Unexplained or unknown? or toilet or toilet or let's see here checking my notes toilet it might be the toilet upgrade it could be it could be any of these four uh jesus turned to lock in first oh well he kind of did last time no he undid it so he has to do it now all right i'll do the the unknown the first one okay wait wait that's what i had for the oh the last one's the unexplained yeah the first one was strategic initiatives in the unknown well i'm doing the other one i'm doing the

explain the last one so am i that means andy's was the unknown he's crushing mikes was the unknown so jason guessed mike's answer and then mike andy both got the right answer oh yes son of a yes i'm still zero yes we keep smashing this is going so well my face is like in the mud i don't even need to win mike is standing on the back of my head but annie's on his shoulders i i i don't want to win I just need Jason at zero point. Yeah, he's doing great. I'm going to score. I'm going to score.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Jason. Yeah. Were you the toilet university? Yeah. You bet you. You darn right. I was.

Jeremy, how good was that? The Standards Institute for Toilet Upgrade. Standards Institute for Toilet Upgrade. You should have been the Short King Institute for Toilet Upgrades. Here's where it went wrong. Okay. Tell me. I'm not sure.

It was last time I was Short King. What was this one? Upgrades. Really. But what would you have done with you? What is a toilet upgrade? Utilities. Utilities.

Yeah. You might have gotten me. You could have thrown university in there. I've upgraded all of the toilets in my house. Yeah, but it. You don't need a society. Welcome back to Jason. I've upgraded all the toilets.

Okay, I'm going to score. Now, here's how I know I'm not going to score. I'm not going to score by you two guessing my answer. my answer. You're going to get it right? Of course I'm going to get it right. Because you guys clearly saw what I posted. Oh, no, we did. I swear to you, I did not see a boy scouts honor. I can't wait to stand at the gates and watch. That wasn't even the Boy Scouts hand signal. What is the Boy Scouts? You got to go three figures. Three. I wasn't a Boy Scout. He did two. What is that? What do you want? That's the proctologist. Smell this.

All right. Where are we at? Check this out. I wasn't a nerd. I wasn't a nerd. Okay, moving on. That's fair. I was. You were a Boy Scout? I was, yes. Eagle? Eagle Scout for sure. No, I was a loser. I dropped that right before. So here's the thing. That's Falcon Scout. Here's the thing. I feel like if you're a Boy Scout, you're a nerd. Okay. You make it to Eagle Scout? You're awesome. You're awesome. Like a Marine. You're a stuff. You go for maybe steal or a kid.

It's like, you tell me, you're like, hey, dude, I made Eagle Scott. I'm like, holy crap, You want to make me a fire or what are we going here? But check this out. Oh, I was a Boy Scout. Yeah. That checks out. Which one's Al? A Boy Scout.

All right. Next one. Next one. Let's get Jason zero. The gap has closed between Andy and Mike. Andy has eight. Mike has six. We're all about the same.

We have definitely one. Jason still has zero and we were moving on. There's only one way we can lose right now. To a movie plot. Okay. And the title of that movie is don't bother to knock. Is this the last question? No. No. There's one more after this. All right.

Is the movie, don't bother to knock? Is that a midwife is trapped in a small closet and imprisoned by an Amish family for more than ten years? Midwife closet? No. Is it a rom-com about two neighbors who keep

uh, sorry I lost my spot, to keep barging into each other's apartments unannounced and accidentally fall in love? The one I couldn't read, right? Okay, yeah. Is it Marilyn Monroe stars as a psychotic babysitter in a Manhattan hotel? That's very specific.

Or is it a coming of age story about a single mother and her three children growing up in rural Tennessee? So, listen, listen, I've got lots of thoughts here. I want to hear them, Andy. Who's the first lock in by the, who has to lock in me? Correct. So listen. I guess I'll explain them afterwards because I don't want to ruin anything. but I'm going to go, uh, I'm locking in Maryland and row.

Wow. Really? I'm locking in Maryland and row as well. I'm so tilted right now. Mike is. How do I not? How do I not try? How do I not?

Am I getting baited? Just be yourself, man. Just take, take, no, no, no, no. Andy, we got to lock in. I can't pick Jason's answer. Don't tell me your answer. I would not guess my own answer. Jason's answer is the rom-com.

You would 100% guess your own answer to make sure you don't get zero. I think Jason's is the rom-com neighbor one. If, hold on. Because that's the stupidest one? Yes. Hold on. If you guess your own answer, do you get a point for that? No.

Of course you don't. Jeremy, I'm asking, I'm not talking to you. That would be a stupid thing. Someone guessed your answer. Yeah, what's the rules of the game is someone else. It says someone else guesses your answer. All right, then I'll take the rom-com. Now he's trying to trick you again, Mike.

Wait, he tried to guess. wait you're taking the wrong remember he took his own answer before which means that I shouldn't take Maryland Monroe it's too late okay go ahead midwife yeah I'm going back to Maryland Monroe okay okay okay okay because that's the right answer I don't care

midwife what was the midwife a midwife is trapped in a small closet okay full stop um what why is it a midwife trapped in a closet what is it a midwife trapped in a closet Is she trying to help give birth? Okay.

Guys, there's a pumpkin in the way. Okay. You gotta lock in. I know. Romcom about what? Some neighbor thing. About two neighbors who keep barging into each other's apartments unannounced and accidentally fall in love.

It's got to be made up. It's got to be made up. That's a made up. It's got to be made up, right? Don't go there. That's Jason's. Okay, I'm going with the Maryland Monroe. Oh, man.

man, we all got it right. All three of you got it right. Yeah, because I can see through this. Also, was that right? Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, Romcom. I was, guys, I was sweating that. All I know is, hey, by the way, you two losers. You didn't shut me out. Who's got a point? I do. You got two points. Oh, man. If you get the right one, by the way, who did the coming of age? Because that's the line of, that is you. That's me. I say, we go to the coming of age words. Do we? That phrase is always in the invention. Coming of age tale.

Well, Jeremy read mine again. A coming of age story about a single mother and her three children growing up in rural Tennessee. That's a good story without the coming of age part. I would have guessed it. Okay. Making a note. We are heading up into the last round. We currently have Andy.

Six times the points on this one, guys. Andy with 10, Mike with eight. You'll still lose. Jason has. He almost pivoted off of Maryland and row there. Only if I could get Mike to get mine. Because you move to your own. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, last one. All right. The last one is the weird law, and this one is...

I'm gonna win this one. In Massachusetts, you're not allowed to keep a mule in the passenger seat of your car, even if it's wearing a seatbelt. That's great. On the second story of any residence. Okay, that's funny. In an uncovered stable? Uncovered stable?

Correct. Or outside in the rain. those are very similar you're not allowed to keep a mule in the passenger seat of your car even if it's wearing a seat belt on the second story of any residence in an uncovered stable or outside in the rain

all right I've got mine locked in I think I think I have to go first I'm going second story I'm going second story second story all three of you got it correct yeah yeah come on this six times those points the seat belt Andy that's yours course that's mine it was good

Andy you repeated all right so we did it jason you just went you went full unhinged did i get all five right uh that's i think i think i got all five right yeah yeah i think are you kidding i think i got all five i think we have to retire the game i think he has to stop cheating so that would be ten from getting them right and two from people guess all i know is i've never done as bad i'm just saying i'm not i don't want to i don't want to criticize you guys or or insinuate anything but i have never not have one of my answers guess until I posted it publicly

for 45 seconds and then somehow some way none of mine were guessed. You also did Short King though. That was one of them. That was one of five. I will grant you that. And seatbelted in the front of a car. That one was good. No. That was... It was good for a laugh. No, that was

top-notch way. Wait, who did in the rain? Was that you in it? Yeah, that was me. Was that close? You ruined my answer. Oh, we ruined each other's. You're just uncovered stable? Yeah. See, that's a sensible. It's a good answer. So you're telling me for next time we play this.

Yours was put a mule in the past. But even if it's got a seatbelt on Andy, it's illegal. If he's wearing a seatbelt's still illegal. So what you've taught me is I need to make the most boring answers ever. If you want us to guess them. Yes, if you want to win the game. So here's what I would like. I wish all three of us were coming up with funny answers.

We still got the right ones most of the time, even though you guys are making stupid. We're not necessarily we. We're not playing quip lash where it's like it's the funniest answer. We got to make, we got to play quiplash and make that a new segment.

That's not okay. I mean, whiplash. Whiplash, yes. All right. We are moving on. monkey in the front seat. Yeah. With a, even with a seatbelt.

That is a, you would have dominated Quiplash. That is such a funny answer. Yeah. Well, you can't. You can't always win when you post them publicly. Or wait, wait. With the, uh, the midwife. That was me.

That was you. I realized right away that was way too far. All righty. Um, we're drafting for a restaurant battle royale. Yes, the battle royals are back. The three of us are locked in a restaurant, fighting to the death. Four picks each. Mike with the first pick.

So I feel like there's the practical first answer. There's a lot of good answers. Yeah, but there's... I think I know where you're thinking. There's the practical one, and I don't know if I want to just go right to that. If you were a midwife stuck in a restaurant, what would you... What would you choose to grab first? My putting a, making her a midwife was the equivalent of your coming of age.

Yeah, yeah, the midwife was a little too much. Why is she, I started picturing this. I started thinking about a movie. I've got to get out to deliver this baby. She was there. It's when your kids start lying to you and you're like, that lie is really specific. Yeah, yeah. A little too specific.

Someone thought about this for a while. All right. So you got the first pick. We're stuck in a restaurant. It's time to fight to the death. What do you take? I'm taking. Knives. Knives. I'm taking the knives. Okay. Do you have to specify a knife? So you crapped on your own pick. I know. You're like, I know there's something I should take, but I don't want to. I'm not going to. Because I know that when we're done, we're going to put it up on the social media machine. We're going to say, what's the best one? And I have knives. That's a pander. Yeah. That's an embarrassing thing. All right. Yeah, what do you got? I got a cast iron pan, bro. Come at me with your knives. I'm using this thing like a baseball bat.

Is that, are all cast iron pans skillets, or are they actually pans? They're usually skillets. Okay. Do you want that as a phrase? Cast iron skillet? So you're going to whip the crap out of us with some cast iron. Oh, heck, yeah, man. That was my number one.

Yeah, because it was it was my number one, but not too far. I genuinely think if, like, let's actually be real about this, like we are on the spitballers. Yeah, always. A person equally matched, physical strength to physical strength. You versus yourself, you know, if one person had a chef's knife, yeah, killer, cut her. What you're saying if you just went and the other person versus knife had a skillet. I'll take the person with a knife.

I think I would take the person with a skillet. I really do. I think you'll get some cuts. That's because you drafted it. Andy, what would you? Yeah, look, here's what I was. It's a knife. It is a razor sharp knife.

The cast iron skillet's elite if they don't see you coming. But it's heavy. and swinging that thing, defending against a knife, that might be tough. Blocking a cast iron skillet. You are not blocking anything. That's my point.

What are you with Jackie Chan? You're not blocking anything. No, no, no. I'm saying you're not able to block a cast iron skillet because when you block with your arm. You don't block, you dodge. You have to try to dodge.

Because if you try to block this cast iron skiller, your forearm is gone. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were talking about blocking the knife with the skill. I thought you were trying to hold the skill up to block the knife. If you come at me swinging with a knife and I come at you swinging with a cast iron skillet,

you might slice my forearm and I'll bleed a little bit and I might smash your jaw and you'll be on the ground dying. No, you won't. Like if you get an artery, okay, your knife wins. But otherwise, this is the debate. Yeah. This is what we'll leave the voting for. I'm going to go. I'm going to let you swing that thing until you're exhausted.

That would take me at least five swings. I know. I think I'll get you one of them. I can swing a knife at least seven times. Not that I want to linger on the skillet, but would you potentially do the full spinning attack? Oh, cyclone? Yeah, I would.

You know how much less energy you would expend? Just keeping the moments I would be going. You would be dizzy. That is the way to... And then I get to throw up on you when I'm done. After I finally connect, I go... You have to alternate spin. Like, I would feel more intimidated to block the cyclone than I would a regular swing.

I would just... step back and it goes into the window. All right. Knives in a cast iron skillet. Very good. The first thing I thought of that wasn't even

on like any, you know, list of like main ingredient stuff that I thought about from a kitchen was, I want the boiling oil from the deep fire. Oh, that is a good pick. That is actually top of my list. I thought it would come back to me. No, that's a very good pick.

If you both, like, your skillet's not blocking enough of the oil to not have you burned. Yeah. And Mike's knife is not blocking enough. So you have, of this frying oil, it seems like you're going to need another pick to do something with it. Because what I, you know,

go ahead, reach in and... I'm giving him the container. Yeah, but do you know what the frying container usually is? It's a basket. It's a wire basket that's empty. Okay, bring me... No, but if you're boiling oil in the, in the skillet. Okay,

then there's a little bit of oil. Owie! My second pick, I'm going to actually go with something that is very easy to wield because I think at some point you might get tired you might drop that skill at Mike swinging the knife might get knocked out of his hands it's five swings five swings and seven for me my knife oh you got seven yeah that's what I got that's what I got how many can you do

with your spear uh I didn't I'm going corkscrew oh it's on my list I'm going course screw because I can hold it yeah punch and then the corkscrew comes out from the middle of the hand like a wolverine oh for sure pop pop pop yep it's just part of me I like it so I'm I'm going corkscrew. Okay. That's not bad. And then after I beat you guys, popping open a bottle of wine.

Champagne. Oh, yeah, you don't need a first champagne. I don't know. Because it's got the... Yeah, you don't need a corkscrew for champagne. You shake it. Is that always true? Always true.

Why do they do that for... Oh, because of the carbonation. Yeah, carbonation just shoots it. Mike taught himself right there. Yeah, he did. Here's the thing. I'm not a wine nor a champagne. Sparkling wine.

person. Yeah. Which I do know that champagne is just sparkling wine, but only from one tiny little region named Champagne. There you go. Is it really? Yeah. Champagne can only be from champagne It's the stupidest bulkhead. But is that real still? Yeah, it's the same thing. Like you can't

all champagne is from champagne in California? You sure can. It's sparkling wine. Oh, you can't call it that. It's the same exact thing. Oh. But it's the fruit, frubs. Yeah. Okay. You say that, but the more Jason talks, the more I think he is. smelling his farts inside of us. We've got the same thing here. What do we have? Like bourbon is from Kentucky. Okay. Oh, and then all

whiskey is from elsewhere or or scotch is from Scotland. Really? No. Yeah. Yeah. Scotchland? Nice. Yeah. Scotch is from Scott. Hold on. Hold on. I thought Scotch and whiskey had like a dynamic that was different. Yeah. They do. I thought as well. I can't make Scotch in Portland. So they're correct. Because to me, champagne and sparking the wine it could be the exact same thing but one is just from champagne but and you just

said that it should except there are differences people in scotland i mean it does it does no no i want i want to know you're you're andy educate us it says it's a specific type of whiskey that's distilled and matured in scotland now in strict regulations that required to be made from water water cereals like maltabarly like uh and yeas and cinnamon simon scotch lucky times yeah um but it must be for a minimum of three years, and oak casks and bottled, at a minimum of 40% by volume. Yeah.

Whiskey's wild because there's just different percentages of whether it's rye or corn or whatever the percentages are, and they make them a certain way in Scotland, and that's scotch, and then that's got slightly different ingredients than you would do in, if you want bourbon, it's from, you know, Kentucky. You can, technically it's from the middle of the U.S.,

not just Kentucky, but... I think the bourbon one's the only one that I'm seeing that might not require the... the place. Bourbon. Bourbon is considered a United States and it's over 51% corn. Whiskey, Scotch whiskey is from Scotland.

Right. Tennessee whiskey from Tennessee. That's why I said. It's mostly Kentucky. It's not all Kentucky. Yeah, it's just the center of the United States. Tennessee whiskey is from Tennessee. Yeah.

You cannot make Tennessee whiskey in Arizona. No, but I can't do it. It goes back to the silly joke I made about Scotch is from Scotchland. Scotch. Like, why isn't it different? Like Tennessee. Tennessee whiskey.

What it goes back to, what it goes back to in truth is it goes back to champagne. Like when we make the joke of, of course, Tennessee can only be from Tennessee. That's ridiculous. That's the same thing as Scott. As champagne. No, champagne is from champagne. So you can't make champagne in California.

It's champagne. It only sounds that way to us because we know champagne as the drink, not as the city. Did, is it a city or is it a, it's a region. A region. Northeastern France. So, they create it?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to go yeah on that one. I'm going to go definitively yes. And so, and then the red, they didn't make it and then name the city. This area tastes like champagne. We are on champagne for too long. All right, I've got boiling oil and a corkscrew, Jason. You're swinging your cast iron skillet. What else you got? Is it back to me? Yes, it is. Oh, darn. Okay. Well, since we're, hmm.

I'm going to go with an ice pick. Oh, okay. I mean, an ice pick is straight up a murder weapon. It is literally made as a hold this in your hand and stab it with a pointy end. Like knives have purposes that aren't stabbing. Knives, you chop, you know, you're finally dicing things. So you took the ice pick? I took the ice pick.

Right. Yeah, you're not cutting with it. You're stabbing with it. stabbing. Yeah, you're stabbing. Which, it's pretty similar to knives legendary that you can't do stabbing. My, you can't, no, no, no, that's my point, it's like a limited knife. You're speaking, no, it is, so you're kind of exactly right, but you're both speaking my point.

A little more nimble. What I can't do is I cannot finally chop parsley with this thing. You want to know what I can do? Stab and stab alone, which is all you're going to try to do with your knife, but your knife can do other things that are so boring. slash yeah I'll take my slashes I'm gonna I'm gonna stab you

you're gonna stab me I got it no I'm with you Mike you're to kill Mike you have knives Jason swinging in a skillet and an ice pick I've got some boiling oil and a corkscrew okay we're fighting to the death we're in a restaurant what do you got so Andy's over there with his

corks crew he's got to get in close range ice pick I mean all these things all these things are pretty cool you can throw a knife easier than a ice pick. That's true. I will grant that. I'm in a rotational standpoint. And especially since I specifically took knives. Yeah, he has got a six pack of the steak knives.

He can throw them. Okay. You did not take ice picks. That's a amateur mistake. But they only got one per restaurant probably. So I have noticed you know, in the at least in the cartoons of the circus when they're trying to keep the lion away.

They got the chair. Are you taking a chair? I am. But I need lightweight, long one. Maybe some call it a bar school? No. Some call it a high chair. I'm taking the high chair for the kids, man. Oh, the kids' high chair.

Yeah, this thing is lightweight, and I'm keeping you at distance. Sometimes, I mean, I think most of the time they're lightweight. Occasionally they seem to be very triangular. A little heavy, a little triangular. What boogey place are you going to do you? Not boozy. Well, I mean, just a pretty wide base. Like, if you had a, if you had a bar stool, it's very even the whole way.

I'm just saying the high chair is very lightweight I can maneuver I can get at least three spins in with the high chair are you doing the same he wants to keep he wants to keep us at a distance where his knife can't reach so what he's wanted to do is be like ha ha I can't get you but you have to look at this high chair you cannot get me and you know what I can get you because my next he's going distance my next pick is a mop okay all right a mom a mom All right. That's right. Wet or dry. Yeah, that's a great question. Is it got some of the oil on it? Did you dip it into my oil?

Has this just cleaned the floor? Because I'm going to be much more upset by that. Not just the floor, Jason. The bathroom. The bathroom floor. Oh, okay. All right. A used bathroom floor mop. Yep. Absolutely. That's pretty good. Absolutely. And this thing was wrecked. Yeah. You used it to plunge. Yeah. And then you washed the floor. I went right. Because, you know what? My mop was dry. So I went into the toilet first because I needed a little bit. of having moisture.

To be honest, when you swing that around, you're getting a little on yourself. That's, I, it's a price I'm willing to pay. You're getting some on yourself. All right, Jason, skillet, ice pick, what you got? It's me again? Yes, Jason. For real. Did you have a list?

We've got a list. Are you texting your stylist again? No, no. We've done 341 shows before this. I feel like the same way that it goes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you felt like you picked between both of us? You did.

And you're going to do it again until the end of the draft. I'm going to take something that is perfect. It can be thrown, which if this hits you at a distance, you're going to be knocked out. Okay. It can create problems. It can be used up close. And if this thing breaks, my weapon just got better. I'm taking wine bottles.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And bottles, Mike, I've got a seller's worth here. I had bottles of booze. No rookie mistake. I can throw them. I can swing them. I can smash them. It's a great pick.

You could throw at least 12 of them before he got tired. I think I could do 13. A baker's doesn't. When he breaks it, he's cutting his hand on the glass. Yeah, but then I'm going to swing my blood at you. Okay. All right. He did back to the Bile Award for.

Of course. Do I have any more picks? Yes. Okay. I've got to be there for one more. All right. Where are you right now? What order does this go?

It's the normal order from 340 shows. All right, okay, I'm in. Tell the barber to hold on a second and you're working. Do you need a ride to the barber? You need a haircut. I'm going, because I need, you guys both have multiple things you're throwing. And you took, that's a great pick, wine bottles. I need a stack of dinner plates.

Oh, dinner plates is on my list. I'm taking a stack of dinner plates. It's so good. They crack, they break. You can fire them off. like frisbees. That's what's happening. You can rapid fire so many dinner plates. That's good. And they're explosive.

Yeah, it's a problem. My last pick's going to be a little of a wild card. But I just want to go back to your dinner plates. They're explosive. You can throw them. Frisbee. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. If I got hit with a dinner plate versus getting hit with a bottle of wine, I feel like it's not going to do anything to me. And when it explodes, it's not going to explode on me. It's going to be like if you miss and it hits

the back wall. I think it's going to, they're pretty heavy duty. It's a nice restaurant. I feel like. You're not. shattering a dinner plate by throwing it at me. No, but it will, I mean, it's going to maim you. I feel like it's going to do some damage. You're going to be bruised. A bottle of wine will hurt more

to the body, like anywhere under the neck. It will hurt more than a plate, but not hurt way more to the face. It does break and give away. But a plate, a plate to the face is, I mean, that you're talking about a real skinny area that's a, uh, the

dense porcelain. The pressure. Are you trying to say that a dinner plate to the face thrown like a frisbee would be more than a wine bottle of your face no no no that's not what i'm saying good i'm but what i'm saying is both of them to the body it doesn't really okay i will agree with that but both them to the face both of them are a problem okay bottle wine worse but a plate all right so long as mine's better um i'm gonna pick after andy is that right that's how it works yeah i'm using my corkscrew i'm emptying all your bottles they're all empty they're not gonna you're not gonna drink them all and then you're a real problem

You're just laying in the corner for us to put a height chair on. I'm going to be sitting on the high. I won't feel pain. I'm going to go with a really. He's just going to roll back and forth on the ground. I got me a letting him. I'm a rolling pad. Yeah, that many bottles of wine plus boiling oil, not good.

My final pick is going to be a little bit out of left field. I wanted to play the part of tantalizing and then hurting you. I'm taking. I'm taking. No, I'm taking a molten lava cake. Oh. You're going to be tempted. Yeah.

I will. I will be. But it's over, it's really too hot. It's really, the molten lava, in this case, very molten lava. You are aware that there is no actual molten lava. Yes. From a volcano? Yes.

Here's the thing. Yeah, I'm aware. You just destroyed my fourth pick. I did? You did. Because my fourth pick was simply going to be desserts. Okay. As, we just went.

out to lunch. Yeah. I know how you two get around desserts. What? Yeah. We got a problem. And you go, ooh. Oh, is it to lure us? 100%. Yeah. So you're thinking of attacking. No, I said it would be just, it would lure you

but then once you go in, the lava. But there's no lava is what I'm trying to. But have you ever have you ever tried to bite into a molten lava cake that's fresh? Yeah. No, like just bite directly. Not with fork. Just bite it. Yeah. No, I never have.

Because you know what it tastes like? Molten lava. Yes, thank you. Jason, you unfortunately for yourself have to pick again. I mean, this is easy. You guys left such a good pick this late. This is literally used to beat the crap out of meat. I'm taking a meat tinderizer.

I had it on the list. But it wasn't your pick, Jay. No, you got me for a second. You got me for a second. You got a meat tinderizer. That should have been my fourth pick. Yeah. But you took a cake

Yeah, I did I'm for it Yeah yeah Mike knives Highchair mop I'm bummed I was Toil mop

I was gonna close With desserts As just a little As a trap Yeah I don't mind it But clearly I I'm not gonna go that route

Now you took the Moulton Lava cake Uh My list is You can do a pie Like in the face But that's just funny I know

But it's pretty funny Yeah but it's funny it's like ha ha ha got you and then you're like delicious i'm like oh here's an ice pick oh no i got a cherry ice pick to the ribs um i don't know uh uh uh pepper grinder it's the best thing left on my list yeah like a big one yeah it's yeah oh yeah this is like a mallet yeah yeah we're weird this is too handed hmm yeah and you don't know you've never seen a no i yeah yeah i just you said it was the best thing left on your list it was it was the best thing left on my list. Like a pot of coffee? Like hot boiling coffee. It's not on my list.

That's what I'm saying was the problem was your list. That would have been great. You took meat tenderizer and you could have taken coffee? Yeah. Yeah. If we went five rounds. Right back at you. Right back at you. We could have gone 20 rounds. Wasn't on your list. I could have got it anywhere. A few extra's honorable mentions here. I had the kebab skewers. Okay. Oh, that's actually really good. A flaming fondue pot. If I didn't get the oil, I was going very good. Fondue pot would be. You could have that or the fajitas. Yeah, I thought about the fajitas. The Chili's fajitas.

It's kind of like his skillet already. And I think those are the main ones that I had still on the list. I don't know. So what I wanted the most, I feel like would have been kind of skirting rules. So I didn't even do my normal thing. That does not sound like you at all. But it's not really skirting rules because it is actually a thing in a lot of restaurants, which is it's essentially a flamethrower. It's a, it's not a flame thrower.

No, no. A butane torch. Yeah, I mean, that would have been a great pet. Like the tiny little one? No, no, no. They're actually pretty big. No, they're not like the ones for drinks. Not the ones I bring back.

I thought you meant for like a, what is the dessert? Like a smoked old fashion? What's the dessert with the shrimp. Crembleu. Crembleu. Crembleu. Not terramus. Crembleuette.

No one's in. Not soup. No one's torched. Hold on, hold on. A butane torch I can get behind. You're telling me. Oversized one, I don't think it's common enough in every restaurant. You go to restaurants that they have a two-handed

beautane light. Yes. Yes. Jason does. For what purpose? Jason does. So even... What can you get done?

I knew this would end up here. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I thought you'd go butane towards like a normal person where they have them in every restaurant. Okay, two-handed. Not a flamethrower. Two-handed gun like... It's not a flame thrower. It's not like shooting out six feet.

But two-handed beautane lighter versus one-handed little butane lighter. What can you not get done with the one-handed one? So the two-handed one I'm referring. to is not like you can use this with one hand. This is not like I need, it's not like a shotgun size. But you would have to. But it's not like the little handhold. Like the little handhold ones

for a smoke old fashion. You couldn't use two hands. There's just no other place. But I'm saying what do you possibly It's usually a steak or meat. It's usually something where you are. People are taking a butane lighter to a state. According to my research, I did the research. Casual and standard restaurants, basically it's between

zero and one percent would help. Yeah, it sounds like a Jason restaurant. That's what I didn't draft it. I'm just saying. That sounds like where you're going. Where I go to eat, they got it. Zero to one percent. Yeah. But across all restaurants or fine dining and specialty kitchens, it might be like two to three percent.

When I go to Wendy's, they don't have that. No, they don't. What did we learn today? I learned today that my esteemed colleagues lied about not seeing my list for Ballardash. Because my exceptional answers were never guessed. I learned that Jason put a lot of it. imagination into his answers today. And I learned that Andy needs to get a

grown-up toothbrush. Yeah. I learned that too. I was so proud to tell you guys. You got a middle school of toothbrush, man. You took a... It has little dinosaurs on it. You took it on your way. Took a baby step. And now next, before next episode, we expect you to be grown up. We'll buy me one. They're too expensive. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast.

To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballerspod.com. Thank you.