Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Nap Attacks & Extinct Technologies - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

Spit Hit for March 27th, 2025:On today’s episode, so many important questions answered! Topics including: time travel, graveyards, fruit butts, and Jason’s magic school bus! We also have fun revisiting our past during a draft of extinct technologies! Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, come on. Little bursts. All right. I'm in. I think it went extinct.

It's bad. It's bad. No longer useful. Oh, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. All right, welcome in. Boo. You gotta power it up. Oh, okay, well the show has started.

Andy, Mike, and Jason back with you. Spitballers episode 260, would you rather, what's the difference? And we are drafting extinct technology on today's show. Which should be very fun. And we are drafting extinct technology on today's show. Hmm. Which should be very fun. Yeah, honestly, just putting this list together was fun to remember all of the things

that were really useful, were at times super cool. Core parts of people's lives. Absolutely, and then it's like, thank you, next. Yeah. When I think of extinct technology, I can't help but always go to the fact that somebody somewhere had a business and their business was that technology. And at some point they got into a room and they said, we're going to be rich forever. Business is booming. And we're never going anywhere. We've lived this. What are you talking about? We lived this life. We started a business on MySpace. MySpace could

be on this list of extinct tech. That's really fair. But I mean, oh man, this is going to last forever. The Radio Shack guy, he said it at one point in time. How is Best Buy still open? They're doing, I mean. They've morphed. Kudos to the Best Buy people because you've done what no one else has been able to do. They have morphed. They also, the last one lives.

Because somebody needs a fine, like you do need a place to physically go get something immediately and the last one will always live in that department. Okay, that makes sense. You gotta be able to go get a cable or you gotta go get a controller for that day. I figured it was money laundering. That's also one of their strategies. That's a way better idea.

Does the mob own Best Buy? Let's just be honest, you know what it is? It's that geek squad. Oh yeah. Taking advantage of Oh, yeah taking advantage of oh Taking advantage of people. Yeah, did I tell I told you guys that I had to I was in a Verizon store and I had to Did I not tell you how to intervene there? No, you saved someone I say somebody good Samaritan. I couldn't help myself Really? I and it felt like it just felt like something I- Was it because they were super old?

Yes. Okay. It was two old people talking to the Verizon salesperson. I was in line because you're required to be in a line of at least 20 people in a cell phone store. Of course. And I'm sitting there and I am listening to this young lady slash criminal, talk to these two, this couple that had, they had a hundred dollar cell phone bill

when they came in there. And they had lost the phone and just wanted to get a new phone. And by the end of this young lady's speech to this elderly couple who clearly, like these are the people they take advantage of, their bill was gonna be $242. And it was gonna be, well, you got a new plan,

and you got the protection plan. She was wrapping all this stuff in there that was too fast for them to understand. By the mercy of the Lord, these two folks were like, well, we need to talk to our financial person, and then we'll get back to you. And when they left the store, I walked out of the store, pulled them aside, and explained to them both, I said, you can get whatever you want, but let me tell you, that was a bunch of baloney, what she was saying.

You don't need to do X, Y, and Z. They just wrapping everything into there. So I went full, you know, protection zone. All right. This show's brought to you by Verizon. Yeah, well, no. I mean, that's just the nature of all of those. Yes.

The Geek Squad brought it to mind because if you are older and you go in and you're like, I need my computer fixed, I mean, that's where they make the money. Yeah, look, I worked at a T-Mobile before we did this and I'd be so mad at you right now. That's my sale, man. Yeah, I think some of the people in the store

knew what I was doing. Those old people were hook, line, and seeker. Yeah, so there you go. Let's kick it off. ["Want It or Not?" by The Bachelorette plays.] Would you rather? Tom from the website writes in says would you rather have to walk, drive and fly everywhere as you do now but when you arrive no time has passed since

you left that would be cool okay or be able to teleport anywhere but when you arrive three times the amount of time has passed as if you had traveled typically. Interesting. So a flight from here to California is... An hour and a half. An hour and a half. So four and a half hours would go by, but you've transported there. So you don't feel the four and a half hours.

Right. You're instantly there. It's just the time of day. It's like the space travel thing where people, what is the movie, Interstellar? Hypersleeper. Interstellar where they were on that one planet and all of that time passed.

So another example, let's think. You go from here to New York, six hours, five hours. So it's a 15 hour. Now see, a lot of the times when we travel, I think we all consider it a travel day. Yes. And so losing that time. That's not the bigger concern.

The issue is, oh you're able to, so you don't have to teleport. Because I was thinking like, well now instead of driving, which takes me about 20 minutes to get here, now in the morning I have to leave an hour the morning. I have to leave an hour early you do Have to leave an hour early, but you're here immediately yes That's it see those ones are interesting

Yeah, the date the day to day is more interesting because when it comes to like the travel days or whatever there's no Disadvantage to the three times the travel you're just going to plan the time you leave three times earlier. It's like, oh, instead of having it take all day, I'm just going to go at night or whatever. And then boom, bam, it's morning. You know, you could, you would adjust, but it's the- Yeah, 18, how long does it take to get to Australia? It's like a 16 hour. So you're talking almost two days. Yeah. Now this isn't just would you like this or not. This is also the other existence is you do all your travel like you do now, but when you get there,

no time at all has passed. Oh. So like you leave for Australia and you basically, you're like, for example, let's say right now it's about noon. Mm-hmm. Let's say you see at one o'clock in Australia, there's a really good rugby game that you wanna go to.

You could get there, right? Yeah, I mean, you got a book. I know, I know. But I know what you're saying. That's why I said an hour. Yeah, you gave a little bit of. Yeah, but I mean, you wanna get dinner in France right now. You could do it.

Yeah. Five hours from now. You could do it. Yeah. Five hours from now. Because travel's instant. Right, but you still got to pay for that travel. Travel to France. Oh yeah, you don't have to pay for teleportation, huh? No. No you don't.

If you could teleport, that's me. That's me. No ticket. Now can you bring people with you on a teleportation? I was just going to ask what are the teleportation rules because it's if they're touching you it's fuzzy but yeah some cannon has like if you are holding that if you are physically in contact with that person they go through whatever realm or seems like an important thing to answer yeah yeah being answer because being able to tell all right children link hands now we don't

let go all right kids see ya yeah that means you could go somewhere and come back in no time has passed essentially yeah if well you have to drive there well I'm yeah but like you like if you wanted to go get a baguette from France and then bring it back it might take you like half an hour a nice thing is basically You're never late Anywhere right never cuz you're like you just gotta leave by the time you gotta be you have to commit to leaving Yeah, which that's that's pretty nice. You don't have to do the text. Where are you? Oh, I'm almost As I'm getting into my car never have to rush

almost there as I'm getting into my car. You would never have to rush. Correct. I mean, you still have the time that the event starts, but you would gain more time back. But I'm saying like, right now, if you're late for something, you would get on the road and drive fast to try to make it. The second you commit to driving, you're gonna arrive instantly from that moment.

Yeah, yes. So you could drive super slow. Five miles an hour if you wanted. You could walk. It's cause many accidents Would you take advantage of that loophole? Let's say you were gonna go to New York and you're like I could just walk No, cuz I'd be very tired and you get more time in the end here Yeah, let's make the one thing that I think is being lost is that one of these comes with freaking teleportation

Like of course, I'm that. Whatever the hardships are that I can teleport, I'm taking that. What if it, okay, but no family. Perfect! I mean, now we're talking. Now does that mean if you have to go to the bathroom? Oh yeah, I'm there. You would teleport there, but then like people think you're gone three times as long? That's right.

Now that's, see, that'd be a problem for you. Yeah, that'd be a 30 minute poop-ski. All right, I guess I'll go with it. 30? Come on. Come on. That was a 90 minute. That's a 90.

Jen from Patreon, would you rather have the ability to turn any surface into a trampoline or make any body of water solid ground for you to walk on. How practical is that? Look you're never gonna slip in a puddle again. I have never slipped in a puddle before. People do. It's rampant through the country. Oh you talk about the puddlers? Yeah people slipping in puddles all over the place. You've never, like... I've slipped.

Yeah, maybe you've never, like, you didn't fully eat it, but you've had that moment where you hydroplane and you go, oh no! You're still going to have that happen because you have to make a decision to make... So like you see puddles and you're like, oh, it's solid, solid, solid, solid! I mean, you have to premed meditate it. All right. All right I was just I'm trying to find a something good about it. Why if you lived in a state like around a bunch of lakes

It would also be impractical and not helpful. There's no purpose to turning the water into solid ground to walk on Like let's think of that. Is there any purpose? Here's the purpose. Oh man, I really have to cross this river. So in that situation, thank goodness I have this power where I can walk across this river. Personally, I haven't needed to ford a river. Yeah.

Now what about if you were- Like Oregon Trail style? Would this have helped the people on the Titanic? Oh? Yeah, well at least one of them whoever had the superpower Okay, but I mean that probably benefit everybody around them right not the people already in the water there. Oh, no Now they're They're have the sound effects for it. We should be ashamed of ourselves. Yeah, well this is an audio Production and I wanted to make sure that they understood that you know the ice would trap them We should be ashamed of ourselves. Yeah, well this is an audio production

and I wanted to make sure that they understood that, you know, the... The ice would trap them. Would separate them. Oh, they'd be, okay. If you were lost at sea, and you're in that like raft scenario, and then everything's just solid,

you've got a long way to walk. Like you're dying. Oh, you're still dead. You're dying with no chance of getting the fish under the ice. Under the solid ground. Or under the... You've also killed under the ice. Under the solid ground. You've also killed all the fish.

It is solid ground. How far down does the ground go? I think if you... I think it's a foot. Oh really? Yeah. It's just so it's like a crust? So now you're sinking again.

You're on solid ground that's just sinking further. No, it's like, you know, it's super power. Okay. What was the other... Power? Trampoline. Something far more relevant. That's awesome. Okay. What was the other power? Oh, the trampoline. See, that is far more relevant. That's awesome. I could, I will dunk a basket.

I don't think you're going to use that very often. Oh, I'm going to use it all. Do you know what trampolines are for, for people over 30? Different ways to throw your back out. That's all they are. Yeah. There are ways to throw other people's backs. I dare you to not get hurt on a trampoline.

I'm not going to make me be on the trampoline. I'm going to make other people be on the trampoline any surface. I want you're gonna make other people Have to be on a trampoline. Yeah, you know where your monitor is right now on your desk your desk surface is a trampoline now You what's the power to knock my desk over? It's just gonna sit there though you have the power to ruin my desk right now No, I don't have the power to ruin my desk right now. No, I don't have the power to make your desk into a trampoline.

Wait, the desk becomes a trampoline? That's surface, the surface of your desk. That is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Look, I didn't come up with the question. Now, we may have a loophole here, cause it's any surface. Like, are we considering, like the surface of the water is that a

surface so if I go trampoline can I turn the water into a trampoline can you go back and forth so you trampoline then you do it again gnarly cannonball let's take that one I'm just saying like why turn it into ground when I could turn it into tripple I might be able to get back from that whole raft stuck at sea if the ground was trampoline. And I could bounce my way back to shore. I think you could bounce faster, farther than walking. This one's dumb. I would agree with that.

First time ever dumb question on this show. Russ from the website, would you rather be able to conjure any fictional vehicle into existence as your vehicle for life or summon any fictional person or creature as a companion for a day? Any fictional vehicle? So we're saying like we get the the time machine, the DeLorean, the Millennium Falcon. Yeah, OK. What about that? So if we're getting space travel in here, that's pretty cool. You care more about space travel than time travel?

Well. Quick aside. OK. What would you pick? Space travel or time travel? Yeah. Time travel or space travel? So I don't know if it's been brought up on this show, but time travel has to also include space travel.

Real time travel does, yes. Real time travel you can only go into the future. Well no, you can't even go into the future. I'm saying- With space travel. Yes, yes. With space travel allows you to do that. Because if you're like, I want to be here in 60 years time

Well, if I do that the earth will no longer be where I am standing because the earth is moving through the universe So you have to have some sort of space travel built into time travel sure but The DeLorean already has that obviously so I think we're good on the DeLorean from what I my research and it's just about it's very hard. It's very small My research is about three hours worth and from what I see it has a tremendous amount of Potential issues that you will have to resolve in a desperate fashion to return to where you want to be

Yeah, like it doesn't ever go smoothly. You don't just zip around time. You might, I don't know, pop the gas tank in an era when you can't get gas, for instance. Or have any kind of car problem that I will not be able to fix because I can't fix cars. I have a flat tire. I'm stuck in the 1800s. We're doomed.

That would really, yeah, that would be a problem. I mean, the truth is, if you got a flat tire in the 1800s! We're doomed! That would really... Yeah, that would be a problem. I mean the truth is, if you got a flat tire in the 1800s... Can you get to 88 miles an hour with a flat tire? No! You're toast! I mean you need to put it on a train. I need to put it on a train. Yeah, okay.

But, also... Roll it down a hill. Also, the DeLorean's, these are... I mean these were cars built in the 80s. These are not cars built for the modern man. We can't fit. No! No, no. We've all built in the 80s. These are not cars built for the modern man. We can't fit. No, no, no. We've all sat in a DeLorean.

And I can't imagine having to drive that. There's actually a ton of people with DeLoreans stuck in the past right now that are just too tall. They just couldn't get back. They couldn't get back. I hurt my back. Abraham Lincoln wanted to come to the future. He can't. It's impossible. He's just got to come to the future he can't

It's impossible It's gotta ride with the door open the vehicle you get for life the fictional person or creature is a companion for a day You know it's hard when you conditionalize it to a day like is there anybody that you could get so much value from in one day I Mean you could have a dragon for a day, right? It's a fictional companion. Yeah, you could cause a lot of mayhem with that. I feel like we should level this and have it just be the same for both

because I don't think it's unfair to have both forever. Okay, so a fictional person or creature as a companion for life or this vehicle. But I think the vehicle, like if you take away time travel and the DeLorean, are you even considering that one? If you take away time travel, I could just go buy a DeLorean.

No, I'm not considering that. No, I didn't say from the DeLorean. Oh, I was here too. I said like time travel and the DeLorean as that one fictional vehicle. If that's removed and you're just thinking of the other practical, that's what I meant. There's so many vehicles that I would

choose over any fictional character. You have to figure out how to drive it. I don't know that it's going to come with a manual. Yeah, they're always flipping switches in those things, man. And there's always like, spaceships. You've got a bunch of people in there. If you put me in the Millennium Falcon, I ain't never taking off.

No, we're not even getting it on. Whereas if you gave- How do you get in? Yeah, how do you open the door? Where's the door? How do you? Now you could get that answer from your companion, a Wookie that you bring, but you wouldn't have the space ship.

I would like to believe that if I got the Millennium Falcon, it's gonna be humongous, but I get a user manual. It exists, so I can read. I'm taking the person. These people will build me these things. I'll take a companion that will be able to, I mean, I can take Doc Brown with me and then we're good. He did it once, he can do it again.

And then you can say, Doc, let's go with a mid-size sedan. Absolutely. I understand you want to do it with style. A time machine. Out of a Sonata? I need a car that's reliable and I fit. Yeah. Most importantly, I got to fit in this car. I need to fit a car that's reliable and I fit yeah most importantly I gotta fit in this vehicle also I'd like to take some more people with me can we make it a man that's right yeah I mean yeah Doc Brown was like I'm not time traveling with anybody the DeLorean even have a backseat you're not really it doesn't

here's a functional backseat oh no Here's the- Not really. No, it doesn't. Here's the- A functional backseat, I should say. No, I don't know. It's for a brief case. Here's the problem I have with the character, and maybe this will answer it. Because you said, OK, you will bring Doc Brown back, and so he can make you a DeLorean. He can.

But just bringing him into your life, why would he do that? Like, that doesn't- He's your companion, according to the question. I know, but I'm just saying like if I chose Dumbledore Does he just do anything I tell him to do hey, I want you to need it You know how he's helping out opinion. He's a traveling you would do the house thing if you needed to teach you like I Don't know self-discipline and stuff. He's your company. He's a friend Okay, I'm gonna go with the companion you guys you go with the vehicles

It is if I get a manual And I can what about like you the Death Star? That's what I was thinking bigger I think it like the Borg you know some yeah the Death Star may come on Jason's alone in the Borg spaceship in the middle of space And it's giant. Hello? I regret my choice. It's freezing in here.

Does anyone know how to turn this on? Where am I going? Can you imagine when the Starship Enterprise comes and hails that Borg ship and there's just Jason and he's all sweaty and he's just looking at the screen going, guys, I'm all alone in here. I haven't slept a day. Tell me So I made a wish on a podcast but also resistance is futile But seriously take me out of here. There's got to be a better vehicle. That's like a one-person

Vehicle like like the like the Boba Fett. Yeah, sure or the batwing Yeah, the I honestly thought or the batwing Is that what it's called? Yeah, the Batman. I honestly thought of the batwing With this question. Yeah, the batwing in the original that's the one yeah, they were so cool It was so cool. It's so good at like cutting balloon strings What why was that built into the ship? I know what point was he like, you know what the front of my fighter jet needs? some industrial scissors. There may come a time. I want my ship to have a bayonet in case I wanted to really ram something.

Oh, it was cool though, man. I've never questioned that moment until now, and it makes no sense. If there's ever a poisonous balloon. What could you do with the magic school bus? Now, that would be great. OK. OK. You can get bigger, smaller.

Now, you have to go on an adventure with it. I only want adventures. This is great, but I know how to drive a school bus. He just takes kids to school. They're all waiting for an adventure. He's like, get off. The biggest adventure of all, life and children. He's like get off the biggest adventure of all life children Mr.. Frizzle's a real son of a gun alright. We're moving on

What's the difference between me and you? All right we have a lot of these today. What's the difference between a rind, a peel, and a skin when you're talking about fruits and vegetables? Now a rind, am I correct in the first thought that I had that was like an orange, oh that's a peel. Well, no, but after you take, oh no. The rind has to be the butt. What?

Yeah, like I think like where it comes together, you know, you got the peel of the orange. Okay. But where it comes together at the little point. You saying there's a fruit butt? Yeah, I'm saying there's a fruit butt. No, I mean, I know exactly what part you're talking about. You know what I'm talking about. You start peeling it at the butt.

I think a rind, I think that's what it is. An orange peel is a rind. All of it. Once you take it off, then it becomes the rind? Well, it's a peel until it's removed then you leave the... No, because you can leave orange peels around. Yeah. Oh gosh.

I'm telling you the rind is the butt part of the peel. That's how I view it. Do you think that some of it's peel and some of it's rind? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Where do you find... Where does it transition into the rind? Is it connected to the butt?

Well, it's all connected to the butt. Not once you rip it off. That's what we were saying, that it becomes the rind. That it becomes peels, and there's a piece that's a rind. That's got a fruit butt? The one that you have. I've never even heard of a fruit butt.

Oh, yes, you have. The bananas? We've brought that up. Now banana, it's a peel. You slip on a banana peel. Right. Nobody says, hey, throw that rind over here, and he'll slip on it.

So does it have to be a citrus? I think it has to be citrus. I think a rind can only exist in the world of citrus. What's the watermelon? Is that a watermelon? Is that the rind? That's a rind. That's a rind, right?

It's a citrus. Watermelon's not a citrus? You fool. I don't think it's a watermelon rind because you know there's no peel yeah it's a water you have to be able to peel it off you can't peel a watermelon I think oranges don't have rinds but you eat it down to the rind I think a watermelon has a rind you eat it down to the now is the rind is that is it the green part or the no the white part white and the green yeah I think

it's all of it's the whole part of the shell part? No, the white, the white and the green. Yeah, I think it's all of it. It's the whole thing. It's the green part of the shell. Ah. Now the skin of a fruit, I mean, there's no skin. Yeah, there's skin. Like a grape has. Oh crap.

Yeah, if it's not. You gotta be able to bite through it. The skin you can bite through. You can always bite through the skin. How about apple peels? Cause they say peel in an apple. Oh man. Which you can also eat.

Yeah, but that's skin. But it's also the skin. It's definitely skin. The apple. Oh man. Which you can also eat. Yeah. But that's skin. But it's also the skin. It is definitely skin. The apple skin. Yeah. OK. All right.

OK. Potato skin. Look, I've got it. Yes. They're called potato skins. You want some fried potato rinds? Oh, wait. They do call it that.

Oh, man. Don't they? Pork rinds. Pork rinds. What's a pork rind? Oh, man. That's the butt of the pig. I thought it's the butt of the pork Skin of the pig so there's a rind skin people

The difference between a rind appeal and some skin, okay, so we're in is obviously There's real skin is thin rind is the behind rind is behind skin is thin rind is the thickest. Behind. Rind is behind. Skin is thin. Rind is the thickest. Uh, the, the skin is the thinnest. And anything that you can remove by itself becomes a peel. Okay. Like you can peel an apple. You can peel the skin of an apple. You can peel an apple? You can peel a banana. You don't peel, you don't peel a rind of a watermelon.

No. So that never becomes the peel. Yeah, but you peel an orange, and you're telling me that they're both. Yeah. Because you can peel. All right, I'm cheating. A rind is a thick, hard, and tough outer covering So far so good.

that occurs naturally on fruits, plants, animals, and cheeses. Rinds are usually inedible. Right. Yeah. Oh, the edibility. And protect the fruit of the plant. OK, but what about a peel? Especially citrus fruit.

OK, yeah, so all right, we did all right there. Yeah, I feel like we crushed that. Interesting. But what is a peel? Also, the definition of a peel, you're gonna love this. A rind? Also known as a rind or skin. This is a trick question! That's what I said!

No! Because if you can remove it, then it's a peel. It's not what you said because you're... This was a trap. Yeah, because the peel is also known as a rhiner skin, which guess what? That also means a rhiner skin is known as a peel,

which means that they're all the same. No. Mm-mm. Yeah, that's what that says. Mm-mm. No, it works in one direction. Oh. That doesn't mean a rhiner's skin.

Yes, it does. I don't believe. I mean, that's what the words say. If you throw them out, then it doesn't. I've removed's what the words say I if you throw them out then it doesn't I've removed myself Okay, dumb question. I don't know what's going on They're all the same What's the difference between a graveyard and a cemetery? Is it spooky level so is the fence dilapidated in a graveyard, but not a Yeah, a cemetery is where you go to visit loved ones, to, you know, to bury loved ones.

Oh, okay. You know, the cemetery is, you know. Respectable. You have like crypts in a cemetery, right? A cemetery is like, unfortunately we've all been to a cemetery. Oh, fortunately. Sure. I don't know why it's unfortunate.

I'm just saying, like, you know, that's where human beings- Trust me, they deserve it. That's where human beings go. I've personally never been to a graveyard. I think a graveyard can only be a place that no one would visit because they don't even know who's there. Exactly right. Also, definitely haunted, without a doubt.

That is required. A graveyard is haunted, it starts haunted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A cemetery, can it ever become a graveyard if no family members exist for the people and visit in a certain amount of years? Once the ghosts move in, yeah. Yeah, I think so. And the ghosts stay away because people visit.

Right, exactly right. But if you, graveyards were abandoned. Yes. They, you you know they might have started as a cemetery yeah they become a haunted abandoned graveyard is it they come they become abandoned because they're full or just lost into time lost in the time once three years passes and no family members visit any of the graves the ghosts feel like they can come out, hang out, haunt it and everything

because they love that. Yeah and then someone stumbles upon a graveyard. You're not like hey you want to go to the graveyard? Can you? Oh yeah. Where am I? Oh no I'm in a graveyard. You're on the way home and you accidentally. What about zombies? Zombies? They come out of a graveyard. They come out of a graveyard. They can't come out of the cemetery? Correct. If they come out of a cemetery it is instantly a of a graveyard. They can't come out of the cemetery? Correct, if they come out of a cemetery, it is instantly a graveyard. Ooh, that's a loss of value. That's what... Right!

Is that the first thing that happens at the three-year mark? One hand comes up... One hand. ...and releases the ghost. I told you to visit me! What is the difference between a goblet, a chalice, and a grail? Okay. One of these is holy. Okay. The grail. The grail. Which one?

The holy goblet. Choose wisely. The chalice. It's gotta be fancy. I feel like a chalice holds more. Does it? Yeah, you could have cereal out of a chalice. Really? You certainly could. You certainly could in a chalice. A goblet. Does a goblet have some jewels? Jewels. Jewels. Yeah, we've got a chalice.

Does a chalice have smooth gold? So goblet of fire. Right? Is Harry Potter a goblet of fire? What does it look like? It's an ornate, decorative, almost looks like a trophy. Does it have handles? It does. ornate decorative almost almost looks like a trophy Does it have handles it does in that one? It does have handles. Yeah, it does the gobble. Yeah, and they What do they give away when you win a cup for something they give away a cup? Yeah, it's called the cup

It's not the world chalice For soccer yeah And they won the world chalice For soccer yeah And they won the world chalice. It's a cup right never mind about the cup then I definitely think that a goblet has to have some kind of jewel if you don't have like So what is a challenge because I thought a chalice would have jewels I've always thought a chalice had just a just a bigger opening. I've never heard of chalice Just a bigger opening. I've never heard of chalice. What? When I hear chalice, I'm thinking of something you wear.

And so I'm- I think maybe those two are pretty synonymous. A chalice and a goblet, those could just be, you know, it could be like the whole East Coast, West Coast calls the same thing something different. Okay. Well, but we're here to define it.

No, I know. For the people. I know, but I. I really feel like a goblet is fancier. If you want wine, what do you want to drink it out of these three? Chalice, a goblet, or a grail? Well, definitely the grail.

Because of eternal life. Because of eternal life and youth. But we know that grails can be, like if it doesn't give you eternal life, it could be very like, it could just look like a cup. Yeah, I think there is only one grail. I mean, am I wrong? Are there lots of grails out there?

I don't know. I think there's just the holy grail and you're grabbing chalices and goblets hoping it's the one. Just all willy nilly? Yeah, but then. So something is, one of them's a grail. One? It's a one of one.-nilly. Yeah, but then there's something is one of them's a grail one

It's a one of one one of all of them. Yep, and the goblets and chalices. They're just competing They're competing chalices. You can eat cereal out of goblets or decorative. This one's important to me. What is the difference between nodding off? drifting off Dozing off and falling asleep. Well, I mean, okay, you know what falling is. Yeah, so nodding off Your head is definitely falling forward. Mm-hmm asleep. Well, I mean, okay, you know what falling asleep is. So nodding off your head is definitely falling forward. You're in a seated position. It is a nod movement. Well, 100%. You are, you have to have singular nod. Now, can you go, you can go from nodding off to fully asleep or do you always, do you always wake up at the last moment because your head

is falling forward? So you usually will wake up, but you clarified something there. It is always forward. Nodding off is forward. You can't nod off backwards. That's drifting, right? That's right. You're drifting off if your head falls backwards.

Now is dozing, are you in a prone position? Like you were gonna, like you laid on a bed, you didn't plan on sleeping. Exactly. And then you start going, uh-oh. Yeah, your head doesn't move anywhere. Your head stays exactly where it was. You just weren plan on sleeping. Exactly. And then you start going, uh-oh. Yeah, your head doesn't move anywhere. Your head stays exactly where it was. You just weren't expecting this.

Yeah, and when people ask if you were asleep, you respond, definitely not. Of course, no. No, I was just dozing. I've been awake the whole time, is what you say. And they say, you were snoring for five minutes. I said, no, I was awake. I remember every second.

Just a little dozing. Just dozed off. How often do you do that? I do this all the time. Like it's a bad thing to have fallen asleep? You're like, never. I would never do that. I think because you feel attacked.

You feel attacked because you fall asleep? You're like, no. Yes, I was. It does make sense, though. Because I'm sleepy. I got caught. Because in the middle of it. Because I'm sleepy. I got caught. Because in the middle of it. Guilty as charged.

Because you know you're in trouble if you nap in the middle of the day. You can't just say, I'm going to go take a nap. Enjoy the kids, honey. But I've even had it, like, watching the late night show with the wife. Yeah. An acceptable time to fall asleep.

Which is pretty normal. Oh, it ain't acceptable in my house. The sun is gone. It is, my body would be very happy to go to sleep. I'm making myself stay up. But then I doze off. And then I'm attacked. Yeah.

Well, you fell asleep. Read the plot back. Read the plot back to me. What was the, what did she say? So, listen, look. This is, we use our platform. We're trying to normalize? No, we sleep, we use our platform of,

don't attack someone if they fall asleep. That's hard to, it's hard to follow that. Because I've been on the other side. You do it? Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, oh, do you fall asleep? You know what I mean, like. We were watching that show.

What are you, a baby? I would never have done that. Here's what's really crazy. And I don't know how to replicate it, if you could figure it out for a device, but to me the sweetest sleep ever is the illegal sleep. Oh, sleep- Stolen sleep.

It's when I'm, it is- It's so sweet. It's the sleep when I am watching the show, and I go, I decide I'm gonna watch it sideways. I'm gonna get it sideways I'm really into the show and I have lied so many times so many times I've been like she's like are you still awake and I'm like yeah and the last totally but then the next night when I work out or something like I'm ready to go for a new

day the next night we're watching the same show the next episode you don't know how did he get over there what happened to that guy because I thought you were awake I was trying to make sure that you know you what happened. I'll be like, oh yeah, I remember, I remember. Just go back to the middle of the last episode again. I loved it so much. Let's just start that one over. Sometimes I'll sneak in early and watch a little bit

of the last one. Yeah, of course. And she'll walk in and I'll go, ah, just refreshing. So funny. And it's so true. You do your own previously. I do my own previous. It's all previously on.

Remind me. Yeah, I just need a quick 30 minute catch up. There should be two previous. There's one is the regular one, and one's the did you miss the last half? And then it just goes to the last half of the previous half. It just goes to did you doze off? Click here.

Dose preview or previously on? Oh my goodness. Oh, Brooksie, does this happen in your house? Do you guys ever doze off in the middle of a show? No, we don't shame each other. We just stop it. Oh, look at us. They're not tired enough over there without the kids.

Dozing's for people with kids, man. Yeah, I don't know if you can doze off without kids. No. That's just called a nice nap. In the middle of the afternoon. They're not ashamed. They're like, I was tired. I took a nap. We're trying to act all strong. Like, I'll never be tired. It's the guilt. I should be parenting, but I'm asleep oh man oh

goodness so there you go that's your answer and I would have slept more if you wouldn't have let me go to sleep yeah oh but I was awake yeah I mean I was asleep. I was awake watching the show. But I could sleep with my eyes open, man. That'd be so cool. Oh, alright. Well there you go. We're moving on to the draft. You got your answer. The Spitballers Draft I've missed half of every show I've ever watched. You, you, you have. Why do they never finish these things? Nothing's ever resolved.

No, look at all the plot holes. They really jumped the jerk when they went from those guys being alive to none of them. I can't believe they didn't end up together. They just stayed apart and then... Oh man. Yeah, when's Ben coming back to the show, Ben died. They needed cliff notes for movies. Five minutes. All right. We are drafting extinct technology. And this is a fun one. I didn't realize how many things would be on my list from days gone by, we talked about it at the top. Things were invented, they changed the world,

and then they went away. And we oftentimes, people romanticize the things of old until they go use them again. I had a friend who kind of despised the smartphone world because just notifications and technology. who kind of despised the smartphone world, because just notifications and technology. And so he just told me this like last week. He's like, I just can't take the texts and everything.

And like people shouldn't be able to get a hold of me every second. So he went and he got a flip phone and did the flip phone thing with conviction. And then about three or four days in, he had to go to a softball game and the guy was texting the address to everybody And he had to print out on MapQuest and he's driving around in the car holding a printout going

This ain't gonna work in my life and went back to a smartphone in a week MapQuest still I think it's still out there Yeah, let me take that off my list Um, I've got my first big. Yeah. This one was near and dear to my heart. Got to grow up with the previous version of the tech, but when we changed to the compact disc, this was everything. If you wanted to bring your music collection with you, you had to bring a gigantic binder of CDs, which was now always at risk of being stolen, and then you have no more music. So the pick is CDs.

I am going to take the compact disc. That's the, yeah, I always remember the, speaking of businesses that are defunct now, but the visor in your car, you know, the sun visor, and you'd hook that CD thing up, and you could slip like 10, 12 CDs. CDs were being stolen left and right across this country. Yeah.

CDs is a great pick. It's a great pick. It is perfect from our upbringing where we were past the cassette tapes. I mean, I did a lot of cassette tapes when I was younger, and getting into the CDs where you're like, wait, I can just go to the next song? Yeah.

This is amazing. And this is exactly what I'm doing. You're the music man, I'm a movie man, so for me, it's the exact same thing. These are technically still around, if you're driving in your car, maybe, but DVDs are. Oh, you didn't even go further back.

I didn't go for VHS because... Don't forget to rewind. Yeah, because DVDs are the same thing. It was incredible technology when it came out. Yeah. So much better looking. You don't have to rewind. It's not going to degrade over time. It'll last forever. Lies, scratches. But I mean, it was so incredible. And then because it's going to last forever and this technology will never go away, you collect them. You know, you just buy them and you have bookshelves, literal eight foot tall, you know, five feet wide bookshelves. Yes. Yes. You sort them alphabetically. There were huge sections of the aforementioned Best Buy

that was just dedicated to cabinets. Yeah, how do I store all of these DVDs? Yeah, and I mean, I loved having a DVD collection. I was gonna say, does that, you know, we talk about everything gets better, but DVDs, you'd go to Blockbuster to browse them, and then you'd store them and you could display them. Now everything's digital.

Well, and you don't even buy them anymore. You still can, you can buy them so you don't have to rent them again, which is usually just a bad investment. But it's like now you don't really re-watch movies quite as often because... There's too much to watch. Well, yeah, you can watch anything.

You don't have to re-watch, but it used to be like, here's what I have. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. I've got these 20, which one do I wanna watch? All right. Do you know what DVD stands for? Digital Video Disc? That's what I would have guessed.

Digital Versatile Disc. Oh. Which, it wasn't all that versatile, it just. Well, I mean, what's versatile is like, you you can just it doesn't have to be a playable movie like you can put a game on it you can put files on it. Sure but. It's versatile. You can do that with CDs too. Yes. Alright so you guys went with CDs DVDs you like things that are round. I guess I guess I'm going to go with the technology that kind of I Don't know it was like the first man on the moon of the internet so to speak. Oh, yeah

And so I'm going to go with dial-up modems. Yeah for sure an iconic sound. Oh, yeah And when someone's using a good dying pet your phone Your phone is used in your dialing up and no one else can use the phone. So you've cut off contact to your home and I'll forever remember when you signed up you had to pick the number you'd dial. Yes. Oh, I forgot about that.

And it was always like you picked a local number and I went to pick a number and I accidentally chose Alabama instead of Arizona where we live which meant for the entire month of internet I was long-distance calling Alabama long-distance calling could also be one of these dead techs and the bill was very very large for my father that month but I will go with dial-up modems to get first chance to get on the internet is number two on my list and then I'm gonna go with something a little bit more super useful some of it is just kind of that romanticized view of using it but I'm gonna go with the typewriter I'm gonna go with the typewriter the bridge between computers

and handwritten items the The classic typewriter. We actually are of the age where we grew up with pre-computers. And I had a typewriter. I owned a typewriter. I was a, Did you ever use one? Never.

We were very futuristic. The best part of a typewriter was that if you messed up, you would go back and you'd slip this little, thin piece of white, basically it held white ink, and you'd slip it in there and you'd type the same letter that you messed up, and then it would punch the white onto that exact spot so you could rewrite.

How long did you have to wait for it to dry? Oh, it wasn't like wet, it was almost like a dry, it was like a dry powder that went onto there. But it was the typewriter, typewriters, then they look cool. There's a lot of cool looking old typewriters. They definitely looked cool. There was a bridge, a short-lived bridge

that we also had. Electronic typewriters? Yeah, the word processor. Oh, yes. And it was like a computerized typewriter where you could just go back, but all it did, like it only did one thing and that was put words on paper. Process words. But that thing was, the typewriter is gorgeous. You know what I mean? Yeah. It looks cool. The word processor looked like a monster. Yeah you

could put a typewriter in your house as like a decorative piece right now. Yeah, for sure. Okay, I know what I'm gonna draft here because as soon as you said that you thought it looked cool and almost had some nostalgia and feelings and was very practical, I got worried you were gonna draft this. I didn't think I would draft this this high,

but I want this. I saw one in real life. I saw one in the wild within the last year. I forget where we were. We were somewhere in California and it was just wild. And they used to be everywhere. Oh no, this is my pick. Payphones.

It was legit my pick. I mean. It's on my list too. Payphones were unfathomably important. Every corner. They were absolutely everywhere. I mean it's on my list to pay phones were unfathomably important every corner you they were every movie theater everywhere and you had to use them because You did cell phones didn't exist so you couldn't Call someone without a phone when you were out of your house unless you went and put a quarter in a payphone machine and New or eyes people's phone number.

Or you call collect. Yeah, I remember. Which, call and collect is very funny. Somebody at that company was like, we have the mother load. I remember. 1-800-collect? Many collect phone calls because the final quarters were spent at the arcade and I did not plan ahead.

So when you call collect, somebody had to answer and agree to accept the charge. Yes, that's why you had the commercials of the, would you accept a phone call from, we had a baby, it's a boy. That's right, I remember that. And then you say no. No thank you.

They had a baby, it's a boy. That was a great commercial. All right. Good pick. Now, the question is, when you were out there, how did you know that you needed to go? Oh, yeah. I thought I was going to draft this one ahead of pay phones,

but yes. How did you know you needed to go call a phone number? And it's because you got a special, fancy electronic message on your pager. Yeah. And what could the pager show you? Beep, beep? It could show you phone numbers. Phone numbers. Just numbers. Just numbers. Because sometimes it would say

911. And that's you call me right now. Sometimes it would say I love you if you turned it upside down. Sometimes it would say naughty words that your friends would text you. I think you were charged per page. Oh yeah., you had to sign up for a plan. Like up to 100 pages a month or something? You had to prepay for the certain amount of pages you could get. And if you went over, not good. Did you both have pagers?

I never had a pager. I had a pager. My father did. I was so jealous. In junior high, yeah. We were among the early crowd when it wasn't super... Tech forward? Yeah, we were tech forward on Pagers

and our entire family got one. So it was mom, dad, sister and brother. And I remember once we were in a bank or something and we were all sitting there and someone got a Page. And all four of us just looked down at our waist and the person was like blown away. They're like, whoa, you guys all have pagers? Wow.

Wow. What a dumb thing. All of this. Did you have a cool chain? All of this stuff. No, no. I had a cool chain. All this stuff is so funny because for us

and when we grew up, we kind of grew up in the era Right before computers and then obviously we're totally computer nerds now But these things were just this tiny sliver of being really important For a short period of time like pagers didn't have a oh, yeah, this is like just a blip in history. Yeah That we remember. Oh yeah, this is like just a blip in history. Yeah. That we remember. Oh yeah. Um alright. For my so I have pick number three here and yes this this device it still exists. It could be like oh it's cool. It's so retro but it used to be these used to be be everywhere. A Polaroid camera.

Ooh! Because now, of course, your phone is your camera, but back before everybody had one of those, and you wanted to get some pictures, like you go to camp, you got, someone has to have a Polaroid picture, or camp. So you can bring one home. Or, this, everything will remain undocumented.

Your parents will have no idea You said there's you went there and now you're home, and maybe you called them on a payphone once I definitely thought they were so cool. Oh, yeah watching it develop shaking it people would which I believe you're not actually supposed to do that You know it's funny, so I was hoping my next pick was going to be film cameras. Ah, gotcha. That's off the table now, too similar. But when you had to go develop, you were like, oh, I took all these pictures. I hope they're good. I have no idea yet. But tomorrow I'm going to take the film, I'm going to go to a place, I'm gonna drop it off,

and then the next day I'll come back and pick it up and see my pictures for the first time. 24 hour, the pharmacies that would develop in 24 hours, the one day, the one day photo was like, that business must have been so good to them. Which, and then now this is maybe you know, maybe old man, but there is, like there is something lost. There's something gained, of course,

by being able to see your picture, but like when you can see it and you're just like, nope, we gotta do it again. Nope, do it again. Of like, you have to, you gotta get the perfect picture because you can see it, you have instant feedback, where like my daughter did a camp over summer, and my wife found essentially, it's a digital,

but it's like, you remember the disposable cameras? And so it looks like that, but it's all digital, but there's no screen. It's just a camera, so you can actually just snap, just take a quick picture and it exists in your life and you don't get obsessed with how does the picture actually look right now. That's interesting. My kids have started a new app where it's basically like you and a group of friends take pictures and it goes into this app, but you can't see them until

the roll is developed. And so once they're full, and where you've got taking 30 pictures or whatever it is, then 24 hours later, you get to see what the pictures are. That's hilarious. That's kind of fun. That's funny. The delayed gratification does,

there's some value to it. Jason, you're back on the clock. Ooh, I am? That's great. That's how the drafts work. All right, let's see here. What do I want? So I'm gonna go with this one if you'll let me have it.

Now these are still, Oh boy. Well, they're still used. It's kind of like Polaroid cameras. Like Polaroid cameras, we still have one. That company and the camera still exist. Yeah, they're still around, but they're not really used. Right.

They've left their prime. This machine used to be super important to all business. If you wanted to get information from one place to another, you would use a fax machine. Of course you can draft that. I mean, fax machines are the worst. I'm not even sure you can buy them anymore. Yeah, I mean, they technically still exist. I find it funny when I see a business and they've got a fax number. I'm like, who's faxing you?

I feel like that's got to be government and law and stuff and no one else. Yeah, and then you'd- Schools. You'd fax a fax. You know, you'd receive a fax but then from one party and you'd have to send it to someone else But every time you got one it was just the worst quality. So if you fax a fax You hope you can read that that final output at the end destination and those also shared the awful dial-up internet sound I Yeah, they did. Yeah, cuz you'd get the calls when you were younger and it would be you know It's a fax machine on the other line trying to send you a fax through your ear. Oh, yeah

I forgot that we had fax machines at home What you had a fax machine? Yeah. Yeah, we did Yeah, we did too. It was like an all-in-one like four-in-one printer. Yep You'd have to set it to fax mode and then then the person could fax you and you'd get it. Yeah, I guess we did have that. I'm gonna go with the, kind of the most iconic selection that is associated with the aforementioned movie store, which is, I will go with the VHS tapes.

Yes. So I will, I'll jump in there. That's what I figured Jason was taking. I will take the VHS tapes because that is the most like generational, like you go get the movie you got to rewind it you browse the the blockbuster the video store So I just saw a hilarious clip. It was it's Pete Davidson, you know former SNL guy and He was on a talk show and he was talking about That he came up with the idea, he was looking back,

he's like, we're at about 20 or so years from the last VHS tape being made. And he's like, so I just started buying them all up. He started buying up all actual shrink wraps, new VHS tapes. Oh wow. And he showed, he's like, my assistant stores it for me, and he showed a picture of this person, like, there's just this huge stack of what, you know, it's like, oh, this just

looks like junk. And the crowd is, of course, just laughing hilariously. He's like, yeah, you laugh now, you laugh now. He's like, VHS tapes now are going, like, the real iconic ones. real iconic ones like thousands of dollars for a tape And so it's just like oh my gosh. Did you seriously pull this off of like I've like Just being just being a little little bit ahead like look at the You can't go back in time never like super Mario the if you had an original fully sealed Super Mario, it's worth crazy amounts of money the same for like Nintendo 64 games

So it was just really funny that that those are crazy because the scheme and is probably gonna pay off for him All right, my final pick is going to be the Walkman. Oh Baby, yeah, I'm taking the walkman because I feel like it's like a way of getting cassette tapes at the same time Yeah, yeah, that's fair, but the Walkman was it was a generational Staple it was so much better than the disc man Walkman oh we got a five second no skip yeah, you can't you can't possibly jog with this thing that oh man I remember the no skip Oh, that was a big lie. Yeah, that was like but then you also were like, let me see if I can make it skip

If it's got the yeah, I know I did I made a skip. I Very easily actually I'm taking the Walkman the Sony Walkman. Yeah good name. Good brand. Good marketing I am so happy that you did that because I knew what my next pick was gonna be and I thought for sure it was Gonna come back to me. I didn't I wasn't sure that you would think of this one, but then Mike literally just talked about oh no Sorry video game cartridge. Yes. I mean I miss blowing in that All my games not loading right? Now it'll work. I've got the special that's fun everyone had the technique that's fun Mike what's your final pick here Jason you have DVDs

payphones fax machine video game cartridges I have dial-up modem typewriter VHS tapes and the Walkman Mike CDs pagers Polaroid camera and I'm going with if you live you were in the if you were in elementary school in the late 80s early 90s How did the teacher show you all the information? Well, they put it on the overhead projector, baby Yeah, hold hold on kids stay there because I'm gonna take the next of 30 minutes writing on this clear piece of paper or

Plastic so then you can now copy it and it was the most inefficient the overhead project it was the evolution from the chalkboard yes it was like we are tech forward here yeah except i don't know that it was better it probably wasn't i mean the teacher didn't like that they turned they turned the lights off yeah and they could write normal they could write with a normal hand, like you're writing on a piece of paper. Yeah, those were, they had their window there. But if they didn't pre-prepare it, it took forever.

Yeah, they would, yeah, you'd have to write it up there. Did you ever get called up to write an answer on a number? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it felt so cool. It was so cool. Because it was awesome tech when we were young. I think we drafted tech from when we were young. Yeah, but it's all extinct now.

All right, any honorary? I thought for sure you were taking a Zip Drive, because you've talked about your Zip Drives. You know what? Floppy disks were at the very top of my list, and I just kind of forgot to take it. Floppy's on there, the dot matrix printer. Oh, yeah, pull those sides off.

Oh, that was a good time. Oh, that's a good one. Rotary phones? Yeah, like I had house phone. Oh, that's a good one. Rotary phones. Yeah, like I had house phone. And I had some software stuff, like non-Google search engines. Yeah, yeah. Like, Ask Jeeves and Alta Vista, DOS.

I wanted, shout out to Morse code, by the way. Hey, Morse code is still used. That would have been a good pick. Yeah. I'm thinking in like military stuff. Yeah, that's- I think it's pretty much only used in movies, where they need to send a message.

Is Morse code? You know, you can shut it. Is that sent through a telegraph? Is that the same thing? You can. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. A telegraph can send anything. No, a telegraph has to go through phone wire.

Right, but you can send any message, right? Or is it only a code? No, you can write out, send the children to the school. Stop. OK, that's a telegram. Yes. Is that the same thing as getting a telegram?

It's telegram. Yeah, are you telegraph? I don't know. Telegraph is the machine. That sends the telegram? I think so. I thought of telegrams when someone shows up and sings you happy birthday.

That's a singing telegram. Ah, there it is. Well, that is going to be it for today's show, unless you want to share anything you learned really quickly. Oh. I learned that dozing off is only for parents. Oh, that was so funny.

All right, we'll catch you on the next one. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.