Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Olympic Butt Swaying & Best Movies Based on a True Story - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Spit Hit for March 26th, 2026:  That’s right, Olympic Butt Swaying. Did we mention back half cyborgs? We’ve got that too! Plus a rousing match of Ballerdash before we wrap things up with a Best Movies Based on a True Story Draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Blurp, blark, blink, blinkety boop, boop. Okay. Welcome in. There were some words. Blurp. I like that word.

That's a good word. I wish I could blurp. you never been able to blurp. I can't blurp. I can fart though, man. Don't you worry. Don't you worry about a thing. Well, you got to be able to get rid of the excess gas in some fashion or you would explode.

Explos. Welcome in to the spitballers. Annie Mike and Jason back with you. Would you rather some baller dash? And we are drafting once again on today's show. Today we are drafting the best movies based on a true story. So it's a movie draft, always fun. And so we'll get into that.

Jason is nodding with a smirk, so he's got some picks he's a fan of. Look, I think today's show is going to be excellent. Okay. I'm looking forward to the draft and I'm looking forward to this Ballardash. It's been a while since we've played Baller Dash. Yeah, I can't wait to learn how to play again. You can follow this show over on X at Spitballerspod, the website Spitballerspod.com. and the best thing you can do for us is just click that follow button on the podcast apps

or if you're feeling extra nice, tell a friend. I hope you're feeling nice. Tell a friend how to make their day just a little bit better. Yeah, and you can watch us at YouTube.com slash spitballers. Would you rather? George from Patreon says, would you rather compete in your favorite Olympic event but fail to medal? Or win a bronze medal in speedwalking or a embarrassingly dumb event.

Is there a dumber event than speedwalking? I still don't understand how people can't cheat. It makes no sense. And they do. I saw someone like took a video because it's speedwalking. So I think by definition, you have to have. one foot on the ground at all times. Oh, nonsense.

They do not. None of them do. They slow-mo look at these feet and these people are, no, they're definitely not doing it. No one is doing that. I guess it's just all in the, in the shimmy of the butt, the butt sway. Because people don't run like that. That being said, it's all about the hardware. The Olympics is about the hardware to me.

Right. I want to. Olympic gold or Olympic medalist. Yeah, I mean, like 20 years from now, I will have a medal from the, Olympics. That is far more valuable than coming in eight out of eight on the 5,000 meter. Like I have been watching some of these races. I watched one five minutes ago. And it was really exciting for those top few people. But some of these people are just left in the dust. Yeah. If I got to compete at my favorite event, that would be me getting dominated at basketball

and being a huge liability for my team while these, you know, six, five to seven foot, just animals make me look like an idiot. That wouldn't be a good time for me to be like, but I got to step out there and humiliate my son. Now, if you came in fourth in the like a hundred meter dash, would that be better? No. I mean, does that change anything? No. Give me, give me speedwalk.

Look, I want an Emmy, right? I think we all here want an Emmy. I think the three of us deserve an image. We don't care if it's for the spitballers podcast. The footballer podcast, the spitballers podcast. I don't even care if it's like one of those offshoot Emmys or it's like this is the local. Best host with high body fat. You can you can categorize that thing down as far as you want.

Best host named Jason over 250 pounds with a beard. If I win that Emmy, I am Emmy Award winning. That's a very specific Emmy. Yeah. When they say what did you win your bronze in, that's when you say, The Olympics. So anyway. The Olympics is what I wanted it.

Mike, what do you think? I was going to say, did you guys catch the guy? It was a shooting event. Oh, you bet I did. And it's the Turkish guy? Yeah, the means are absolutely incredible of if you didn't see it somehow. I think they're just firing a pistol at a target, I assume, is it could be a half mile away. I have no idea.

It's actually pretty far away. It's very far away. And then you have all these competitors with like really high-tech glasses where it's like lens on lens on lens so they can see the bullseye even clear. They have stances where. It's like that old Nintendo. What, Duck Hunt? No, no, no. The Nintendo device that people used to wear on their game.

What is it called when the red screen? The Nintendo red screen in front of your eye. What, virtual boy? Yeah, that's it. Gone. We're like a Google Glass situation. but and then they'll have like stances where they're kind of turning over their shoulder I imagine to stabilize yeah stabilize balance yourself out a little bit better because any any tiny movement

and this Turkish guy shows up he's got a hand in his pocket both eyes open both eyes open and he just points and shoots and he got a silver medal yeah he just won I didn't watch I didn't watch it I've seen the picture everyone a lot of people have seen the photo of him just standing so good hand in the pocket, eyes open, getting a silver medal at the Olympics. But I have to imagine he raised that gun up a tenth of a second before he's fired. You know what I mean? That dude just walked up and goes, I don't care. Give him, give him my metal.

You want me to hit what? That thing. Okay. And I represent, oh, the country? Yeah, my favorite meme of that was a photo of him. This is a real photo of him with his cat. I did see that. And it said, if anything ever happens to this cat, we're going to get four movies.

John Wick style. Yeah, total John Wick. Dead dude is awesome. But I am taking an Olympic medal, guys. I mean, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty epic. You know how fast I can walk? Well, I mean, legitimately, we're over here laughing because we respect other sports.

But, I mean, I imagine that the people who are in it, they all take it very serious. And then if you have a medal and anyone to your feet, face is trying to be saying. Are you any good at this? Yeah, like, well, it was with speedwalking, whatever, and you go, I have an Olympic medal. What do you have? And they'll go, oh, well, put your sports stump. I have an Olympic medal. Put it in reverse. Let's say we meet the gold medal speedwalker from the Olympics. I'm not looking down at that person. No. I'm never thinking, it's talking behind their back. No. They're an Olympic gold medalist.

Of course. Give me the medal. Chris from Patreon, would you rather have no sense of smell at all or a normal sense of smell with the exception that all foods smell rotten? That? Howard, how can you possibly pick that one? Yeah, because nothing smells good. So it's like, would you rather have most.

Everything does except for food. So you're going to have to. Wait, what really smells good outside of food? Like you got roses, okay. Lots of things smell good. But, but, but, let's, body spray. Does it? No, but there's colognes and perfumes.

And, shampoos and, uh, there's plenty of things that's good. I don't know. Isn't there a smell of the rain? A rainy. Oh, for sure. Before it rains. It's great. Your own farts?

Yeah. Someone smell popcorn? So then all the food just smells rotten though. That would food, how are you going to eat? And food and food and tastes go together. 100%. In fact, when people, this is a thing that happens to people. people where food smells rotten oftentimes after a disease or something. This is a real thing.

And those people have an exceptionally hard time eating. Which the first option here, no sense of smell means you're also going to have a hard time eating. Harder. But yeah, I mean, I can eat without great flavor. But, I mean, the sense of smell affects your taste. So if you're smelling rotten food or rotten anything, I think I'm not going to work. I think I can't. I think I could choose the second one.

You think you could? Yeah, because I can plug my nose and then be the first person, but then I get all the rain smell and all the other good smells of life. I don't want my scents to be gone. If this question was, in order to smell the world, you have to plug your nose every time you eat. I would not choose that. Really?

Yeah. Oh, I'd get into a good, like, I'd have a close pin on quick draw. Okay, I didn't think about the clothespin. I would be honest with you. I was thinking, you know, how am I cutting my steak? Okay, I need two. You thought you just lost your hands. I need two hands for that.

I miss you, your clothespin. Yeah, it's definitely under the lid. They present the clothespin. I don't want to lose the other smell. I don't want to lose my sense of smell. I know that what I'm about to say is inaccurate. it. But I'm still going to say it. I don't care about those smells. I don't care. I think if I like, I just was talking about how I love the smell of right before it rains. Oh, you don't care about those smells.

Yeah, I don't care. I thought you were literally saying you don't care if your food smells terrible, you know it's good. No, goodness gracious. If your food smells terrible, it will taste terrible. Yeah, it will. So that's out. That's just out. I mean, that would be a really funny experiment. just to go through putting a different smell under your nose. Well, like you've made some delicious steaks. Put it on the plate. You cut it up. You're about to eat it, but then you're, you know,

you got a little smell card of something else. Yeah, maybe. And maybe not even nasty, but like what would it be like if you had a strong chocolate smell under your nose while you ate that steak versus a strong garlic smell under your nose? I mean, it should taste it. Yeah, it'll affect it. It's just weird, right, how they connect? It's kind of strange that they haven't come out with that.

form of dietary medication. I've seen a video of it was a lady had the chocolate bar. And you go, that throws down some vegetables. It's like a bowl of broccoli. That's when you know you've hit rock bottom. That's what the fast food restaurants should start doing with their, like the new Jag in the Box burger should come with this little smell card like a filet mignon.

You guys remember scratch and sniff? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wait, that's not a thing anymore? Oh, not for you. you got rid of smell. I don't think so. Scratch and sniff was...

The markers, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The ones you're supposed to smell. Those are a problem, though. Because those markers... They smelled delicious. They didn't just smell good.

They smelled like food. They tasted good. No, no, they did not. That's the... That's the issue. I don't think they make those anymore. I think it was like, wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that you're making markers

that you're incentivizing people to huff? Like, the whole point of your sales pitch is smell this chemical that you should not be smelling. That's fair. I mean, that would be like scenting bleach. Oh, right. Yeah, poison. Oh, man. It smells so good now. We have we have, uh, we have made donut smelling ammonia.

Oh, breathe it in. All right, Mike from Patreon. If half your body were to be replaced with robotics, would you rather be your front back, top, bottom? or left right, which would be the robotic half and which would be human. This is going to take some work. Let's all examine each of these. I can't, I didn't hear you.

I just thought of something. I got to go back to the former question because I realized that we, I have a scorpion and spider spray. And this thing is for, man, does it work? Yeah, it does. On contact. That scorp is going to insta kill itself. That spider just shrivels.

Is there anything that you could spray that would live through that? Like I know it's marketed as spider scorpion. Right, right. But then it sounds like it's just going to, whatever you sprayed on is gone. A hundred. I think you're 100% right. All their sprays are the same chemical. They're just all labeled, you know, spider, the scorpion?

Probably. Roach. This one's cockroach. It's an amazing marketing. But my point is I'm remembering that that stuff is scented, floral, and smells outstanding. No. I am telling you it is the most. That's illegal.

But I'm just now connecting some dots here. I am literally only smelling the scent if whatever comes out of that can is going into my nostrils, right? Isn't that how the science works? Yeah. That stuff's made to kill. It's literal poison. Do you think that the spiders are like, ooh, that's a way? But why are they...

Frank, you've got to get over here. Why are they scinting... Get a whip of this. Poison. Because the smell of poison normally is so egregious. It's off-putting. I don't want to use those in the house. I don't either.

I don't use them out of the house. But I'd use a lavender scented one in the house. I'm telling you guys, it smells so good. You could clean with this stuff. Just clean your counters and you'd be like, this house smells good. And it'll kill everything that's on the counter. and you'll die. If half your body were to be replaced with robotics,

would you rather be the front or the back? So like you can only choose. That one is so weird. That one's really straight down the middle. Top or bottom or left or right. Do you want to cut it down to just top bottom or left or right? No, I want to at least imagine. Yeah.

What are the benefits of a front back? I mean, like a robot butt, but not your front. Your abs, your abs. Your abs and your pectoral. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Strong. Your shins. Yeah.

No more shin problems. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't want a robot face, right? Well, you'd have one if you go front half. Yeah, that would be the downside. Yeah, you're right. That's a problem. We'll rule that one out.

So left or, so if you go left right, you get one leg and one arm. It's pretty cool. Yeah, you get one of each. Isn't there, Mike, you're the superhero. Isn't there one of the, the, let me correct that. You're the superhero. nowhere. I stopped after you're the superhero. I thought you were about to give up my

actual identity. Secret identity. Isn't there a superhero that is like on the left half as a robot, on the right half is a human? I don't know about that, but are you thinking of cyborg? That is who I was. Yeah. I mean, he's part robot. Which is what all of these are. I don't know that he's, I don't know that it's it's not split down on the left, right? Okay, okay. Just trying to, trying to unpack this. What, I mean, what part of you would you want to,

The most robotic. Robotic. Like what's the most... Legs. I think it's legs. I think it's I want the bottom. It's your base. I don't know, man.

I want to be able to run really fast, climb, you know, jump. But I'm not going to do those things. Whereas if you had robot legs. Okay. That's fair. But the robot legs doesn't give me good cardio. That's up in my heart, my lungs. That's, you know, if I went legs, now I can't even handle how much power this takes to...

No, but it's way easier because your robot legs aren't running off of your blood. You don't think so? No. They wouldn't be robot legs. These things are pure oil and gasoline. Oh, really? I don't know. But if they're robotic legs, it can't be your cardiovascular system powering it.

All right. Okay. Yeah, it's on a battery or something. Solar. What is the benefit of top have robot, bottom have not? I mean, that one, it seems. Yeah, like incredibly strong arms. Yeah, you try to.

not open a jar of pickles. But your entire... That pickles just shatters in your hand. Entire digestive system and all that is robotic now? That feels... Can I eat anything? Yeah, yeah. But you can't taste it.

You know the robots can't taste. Robots have a legendary sense of taste. The metal tongue. I imagine that if your top half is robotic, the amount of things you could see through your eyes would be incredible. Okay. You know, the computer system in your mind, the thing that, like, Google glasses. It's hot swap your arms out too, right?

We're always supposed to be. Oh, sure, you could hot swap your arms out. For wings. Oh, now we're talking. You're going to be too heavy. For, like, a helicopter propellers? Okay. Some cannons?

Maybe. Some cannons? I'm just saying, like, Fourth of July, I got firework rocket arms. Okay, now we're talking. Just pointing straight in the air. America! With this normal man body, bottom half? Yeah.

Just real skinny legs What about like swimming? Swimming is Oh, that's a problem. Yeah, you're going to rust. Top half though, you can swim bottom half. Yeah, you can wait around in the water if you're top half robot. Hey, you hang out in the shallow.

I mean, any robot here, the water's a problem. I still don't understand the front versus back. No, I don't either. Okay, I've got one front versus back. If you choose the- I guess it's armor. If you choose the back, you can... You have buns of steel.

You can hide your robot. You can, you know what I mean? Like, you can, you can... I see what you're saying. You know, you're still going to get some advantages, right? My hamstrings, my calves, my glutes. Yeah, but think about the biggest problem. The bidet.

Oh, yeah, we just said water's a no-go. Yeah. You're wiping. Wait a minute. You're wiping with your hand. But am I pooping? Yeah. Otherwise, I mean, it's got to come out.

Just an oil change, man. What? You got half a digestive system. This whole front back thing is a mess. This whole front to back is, you can't go back and forth like that. I imagine where my heart is. That means half of it would be robotic. You mean you imagine where it is.

Well, like front to back. I don't know how close to my chest versus half. Okay, yeah, it's right in the middle. I see what you mean. You meant like. Yeah, I just mean the depth. The depth. How deep is your heart?

So deep. I think I'm going to go. Yeah, we're all taking legs. Yeah. Going legs. Okay. We're going to take a break and get into some Ballardash. What time is it?

Game time. Well, it's been a minute. We are jumping into Baller Dash. This is very fun. It's so fun that Al loves explaining it every time. I sure do. All right. You guys were given five prompts in five different categories.

Those categories are a definition of a word, a notable person, an acronym, a movie plot, and weird laws. your objective is to identify the correct answer and trick your opponents into picking your fictitious answer. Yeah. Two points. Or just getting them all right. Sure. Oh, that's true. Go for that.

Two points if you guess the correct answer. One point if an opponent guesses your answer. All right. Let's begin. All right. We're going to start with the definition. The word is fart and bag. Whoa.

Spell that for me? F-A-R-D-I-N-B-A-G. Farden bag. So the D is a word and bag. real important letter in this farting bag. Yes, because I know what a farting bag is. I'm going to be honest, I'm a farting bag before.

I mean, who amongst us, Jason? When you cup your hand, can you call that a bag? Who amongst us hasn't tried to trap a fart? Yeah. I don't think it's possible. Not to the degree that you hope. Yes. Well said.

It's possible, just never good enough. No. All right. So what is the definition? I've had some pretty strong successes. Oh, my gosh. Is it the quality of the Ziploc? I think it's the quality of the fart.

Yeah. As a professional cup of cheeser. Or is it the layers between bag and anyway, you know. Yeah. You got a bare bottom it. Oh, man. I'm sure you got a bare bottom. I mean, I can't filter it out.

Guys, guys, sorry. This is a professional podcast. Farting bag. Yeah. I'm bringing it back to the game. game here. Farden bag. All right. Is a farting bag, the upper stomach of a cow?

A bag of assorted treats given out at German festivals. Okay, German bag. A slang term for a quick meal that was often associated with the working class in Germany. Oh, another German one. Or a medieval pouch used to store

magical herbs. All right, I got my answer. Oh, man. All right, I got mine. answer as well. Now, is there a rule on... We got a lock. We got to lock in. I think we take turns locking in first.

All right. All right. So if you guys were confident, go ahead. You can start and I'll lock in first. I'll go first on this round. I'm going to go upper stomach. That's what I'm doing to. Is this a trap?

Well, we're all supposed to decide beforehand. Yeah. I'll go. Stomach was what I was going to do. Okay. Whatever. We're all going for it. Okay.

All three of you got that correct. Okay. All right. The funding bag is the upper stomach of a cow. I went hard with one of the Germany ones. Yeah. I figured you two were the Germany and I genuinely thought. I mean, I was sure.

If you were going to pick one. That you guys were taking the magical herbs. Oh, yeah? Yeah. No. All right. All right. Everybody got two useless points on that one.

Magic is not real. That was the biggest problem for that one. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. For the real definition of something. I mean, if you had just said like herbs. But that was my trap.

That was what I thought you'd work. Yeah, the magical. Did you fall into it, Mike? No, that's how I was able to sidestep it. Yeah. But my goal was that it was too obvious. Like, no one would say magical, magic's not real. So it's there.

But you guys didn't think hard enough. Okay. That's on you. That's my bad, dude. Thank you. All right. So we're tied. Moving forward.

We'll lock in the answers before anybody gets theirs out. All right. We're going to talk about notable people. This person, Elmo Lincoln. Elmo Lincoln. Elmo Lincoln. Was Elmo Lincoln a New York governor who played a pivotal role in creating the Erie Canal? Boring.

Was Elmo Lincoln known for inventing the first full-size wooden casket? Casket? Was Elmo Lincoln the first actor to play the role of Tarzan? Oh, man. That's a good answer. That's a good answer. Or was Elmo Lincoln? a steel baron that lost his empire

in a business war with John D. Rockefeller. Oh, man, I want to give that one the credit, even if it's wrong. A steel baron. That's awesome. I didn't know that was a thing. Crush your enemies. That's an oil baron, Mike. It's still a baron.

Oh, it's so good. Okay. So, Governor, Casket, Tarzan, steel baron I'm going I got my locked yeah we got to lock them in okay I got mine locked in

I've got mine locked in all right Mike what are you going with Tarzan I'm gonna go Steel Baron I'm gonna go casket so we're getting different points here already Mike got the answer correct he was the first actor to play the role of Tarzan

so Mike gets two points there Great success and then Steel Baron. Was that one of your guys' answer? That was Mike's answer. So he gets a point there. So he's at three. Andy was the casket. And he was the casket. So Andy gets one point. What a round, boys. Yep. All right. So we're on to the acronym.

That is correct. And Mike is winning five to three to two. That is correct. All right. The acronym we're going to try and decipher here is APDA. What does APDA stand for? the APTA. Yeah. We have all heard of APTA. Yeah, the, that Elmo, what is it? Before an APTA. Elmo Lincoln was the APTA that

played Target. Oh my goodness. I don't even have a, I don't have buttons over here. No, that's pretty rotten. Goodness. That was right. That was great. All right. It was shameful. Is APTA, the advanced problem detection and analysis?

Hold on. Okay. I got a lot to write down here. just writing one word. Hopefully it works out. Go ahead. Advanced Potato Development Association. What? Don't need to write that down.

Potato. Alabama Police District Attorney. That's one person. They have an acronym? Alabama, man. Or American Power Drinkers Association. These are all brutal. Power drinkers?

What was the first one again? Now that we've... The first one was advanced problem detection and analysis. All right. Then there's a potato, a district attorney, and a power drinker. Okay. There, I got mine locked. Okay.

All right. I'm locked. I'm going advanced problem detection analysis. I'm going power drinkers of America, baby. I'm going power drinkers. The correct answer was American. Power Drinkers Association. And Andy picked Mike's

answer of advanced problem detection and analysis. Mike, you are crushing. You are crushing this game. Wow. No one wanted my potatoes. Oh, man. Let me explain why you two didn't fall for that. Yeah.

It's a great answer. You didn't think too much this time. I was very surprised when I, what was my acronym there again? Advanced Potato Development Association. Oh, man, I was, I was trying to go for the right answer. I mean, the other three words were great. There could have been any P-word in there.

I just assumed that was the real acronym. Poodles. Poodles of, that would have been way better. All right, so Jason has four points because of that one? Potato. Yes. Mike has seven points or eight, and I have three. Let's go.

All right, we're moving on to the movie plot. The movie title is Blobbermouth. How do you spell that? B-L-O-B-E-R-M-O-U-T-H. Blobber-Mouth. Blobber Mouth. Was Blobber Mouth, a film about a global pandemic spread through drinking water? Okay, pandemic.

Or was Blobber Mouth, a diver off the coast of Australia becomes the host of a blobfish monster that terrorizes Queensland? I know. Okay. Or is Blobber Mouth, the remake of the horror flick The Blob with Steve Sibb? Steve McQueen starring as a struggling stand-up comic. Oh, okay, Chad, GBT. Or lastly, was Blabbermouth, a teen can't stop sharing the secrets of a small town.

After he finds and shares a dark secret of the most powerful family in town, the Millers, the boy awakens in a dark room with his mouth sewn shut. That's a long card. Okay. Will you read me the The one that was Chad GPT again? Just read them all again real quick. All right.

We've got a film about a global pandemic spread through drinking water. A diver off the coast of Australia becomes the host of a blobfish monster that terrorizes Queensland. The remake of the horror flick The Blob with Steve McQueen starring as a struggling stand-up comic? Or a team can't stop sharing the secrets of a small town after he finds and shares a dark secret of the most powerful family in town the millers the boy awakens in a dark room with his mouth sewn shut oh my gosh what a mouthful

yeah a blobber mouthful good dude uh how do you lock one of these in all right I've got all right I'm locked but I'm not revealing first

okay I'm locked all right if we're locked I will go ahead and reveal first. I'm going to go with the global pandemic. So am I. I'm going to go with the teen secret paragraph with the mouth sun shut. All right. Nobody got the correct answer.

No, no. Which was created by Chat GPT, apparently. The correct answer was the remake of the horror flick, the blob, with Steve McQueen starring as a struggling standout comic. Wow. Andy's answer was the film about the global pandemic. So he gets two points there. And Mike was the paragraph.

so he gets one point there. Oh, you idiot. You idiot. So now we got Mike with nine. Apparently the other ones were a little more concise. Mike has nine, Andy has five, Jason has four. Final round. And we're on to the final round.

It's a new high score for sure. Yeah, for sure. You are crushing. All right, this is the weird laws. The law is in Montana, it is a crime to keep a fur-bearing animal that you have caught unless, unless it lives inside your house. Okay. Unless you tattoo your name on it.

What? Claimed. Unless you live on a registered ranch with at least 20 acres of land. That's good answer. Unless you are a licensed zookeeper. Okay. It is a crime to keep a fur-bearing animal that you have caught in less. You need me to read them again?

He's a license. Lives inside the house. Tattoo your name on it. Have enough land or are a zookeeper. That is correct. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. I mean, this is keeping a fur-bearing animal that you caught. That you caught. Not killed. This is not like you caught, like killed it and you keep its fur. This is a fur-bearing animal you caught and want to keep. All right.

All right. I've got my answer. I'm locked in. I got mine. I'm going to go lives inside. House. You're both taking that one. I'm going the registered land if you have enough land.

Also, how do you tattoo a furred animal? You can still get down to the skin. Sure, but the fur grows back. Tattoo is going to be the right answer. That is the correct answer. Oh, my gosh. I pivoted at the last second. Are you kidding me?

Nope. Tattoo your name on it was the correct answer. Mike was enough land, so he gets one point from Jason. And then Jason's was the live inside your house. so he gets two points. It was too easy. See, that's how you do it, man. Give us a final score here.

Oh, I beat Andy. That's what matters. Wait, how did he get two points? Because you both get my answer. So Mike ended with 10, Jason with 6, Andy with 5. 10 points. I'll take second place considering.

Which one was the? Jason's answer was the live inside your house. Oh, we both did do that. Yep. All right. Congratulations, Mike. You're amazing. Here's a break.

The Spitballers Draft. All right. I think this draft is, it's tougher. It was tougher than I thought it would be to, to really, it's the ranking of them. Like there's a lot of movies that are based on true stories that are out there. But putting them in an order was more tough. I have the first pick. And we're still going the right direction despite.

Correct. So it will go. Despite the fact that I'm sitting in the wrong spot. Yes. So it will now go Andy, Mike, Jason. Okay, good luck, Al. I think I'm going to go with, for the first pick, I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with Catch Me If You Can.

Oh, that was easily my number one. Catch me if you can. Easily. If you remember the plot of that movie. Oh, it's so good. That's Frake, Abigail. Yeah, Abignale. Abignale.

Abignalee. Con artist, Decaprio, Hanks. and alluded the FBI. If you haven't seen Catch Me if you can, if this is a movie, you're like, oh, what is that? You can, you've listened to enough of this episode for it to register as a download for us. So you can stop now and go watch that movie.

It is an all timer. It is so entertaining. It's one of those perfect movies. Yes. Where there's not a wasted line or moment in the movie. It's like back to the future where it's like, everything is totally necessary. And it is, I mean, that takes.

takes you places. That movie is awesome. There's movies where it's like in any moment that I tune into the movie, it doesn't matter. That is one. That is on top of the. That would have been your one of one? Oh, easily. And the story is so, I read the book, boys.

Like, that's how much I love that movie. The story is so outrageous of basically. A book. Now that's what I call a movie. Basically a kid, a teenager is able. Yeah, it was all before he's 19. is able to trick professionals that he is a pilot, that he is a doctor, that he is a lawyer.

Like, the story is, it's unbelievable. Well, he's, he's the mouse that kept fighting. Yes, two mice. And then the real character ends up on like late night talk shows. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, to say that this is, we're drafting movies based on a real story. It is the most unbelievable real story of all time. You, yeah.

All right. All right. That was easily my number one. Number two, I know the order. So I'm going to, the number two is Apollo 13. Oh. Which, because you got your movie, you're pumping. Yeah.

Yeah, that's fine, Jay. Polar 13 is a great thing. I know what you're going to pick. I can't believe he didn't take it. And Apollo 13 is a great movie. And it's also, you have to, if you can go back in time, like if you're our age, you can go back and think about seeing that in the movie theater. with they're in zero gravity, man.

This is back when we didn't have computers that could do that. They had to film in a plane that's diving. And so they could have zero gravity in the movie. It's that is like the where the story of Catch Me if you can is unbelievable. The actual just production of Apollo 13 for when it came out was mind blowing. That would have been that would that's next on my list. So it would have been one of my two picks here. and Catch Me If You Can was ahead of that.

So it's great, but I can't believe that the actual 101. And especially, like, I was like so jealous that you had the 101, Andy, because our favorite movie of all time. Because it's so barely based on, it's movie based off of name in somewhat of history. Yeah. Braveheart, baby. I didn't want to give Braveheart the, I didn't want to give it the credit. You don't think that there is.

But it is based. Most of these movies. Yes, there was a William Wallace. Are we 100% sure? There's a William Wallace. Yes, there's definitely a William Wallace. Okay. This is based on a true story and is the best true story of all time.

It's the best. Braveheart, baby. I mean, we did say based on. All right. I mean, the truth is most movies based on a true story take a lot of liberty. Yes. They're most, they're very commonly loose. So William Wallace's Wikipedia, the first,

like the little snippet that pops up. This is William Wallace. You know, popular movie depiction, 95. And the film was criticized for many historical inaccuracies. Yep. But it's awesome. And it's still based upon the, still based upon. All right.

That's a great pick. Okay. Good job. Okay. All right. My next one, I'm trying to play the game here because I think you guys might have left this off your list. and so I'm going to I'm going to wait on it would be my next pick

it's an unbelievable movie but I got to play the game and take something I think you guys might take and please correct me if I am wrong that this is not like this this one seems like catch me if you came where this couldn't be a real story right but when I was looking it up

it said it was based on a true story the wolf of Wall Street yeah it's yeah that's a real person Okay. It is loosely based off of stories of his life. I will take the wolf of Wall Street. Yeah, like that guy's like on social media and stuff now talking about things. That's a, that's a pretty wild movie.

Yeah, I don't know how much is accurate, but I think that he. Loosely based on. I have one, I have one on my list that is so loose. That's even worse than Braveheart? Way worse. Way worse than Braveheart. I knew his draft was going to be a danger. He's on for Jason.

I had it on my list and I was the same as Andy of like, I can't do this. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to keep going with just of stories where I can't believe it is actually based off of a true story. Argo. Argo's on my list, man. Argo, Jay's blank stare. You don't remember that one?

1979 Iranian terrorist crisis. It's the Ben Affleck movie where the government puts together a crew. of pretending they're going to make a movie and then they get the hostages. Six Americans rescued. And it's like this, it actually happened.

Yeah. So I have seen that movie. No, I have seen it and it is a very good movie. The movie's great and the story is just like, you got to be kidding. There's no way that it's real. Yeah.

But it is actually real. My blank stare was because I was, I was like, Fargo is not a real movie. A true story. That's also not what I said. Right. Argo is a different movie

Back to me Yep, two picks All right My next pick is actually going to be Into the Wild Okay That's the Alaska movie That's the young

Kid that gives up all of his possessions And goes and lives in Alaska In the bus And you ever seen that? I have never seen it's a book I haven't seen it But I believe it's a John Crackauer Book and then the movie

And like is the bus still there? Or is there something about that? Yeah, you can still go find that. Yeah, he's not there anymore. So you like that one? Yeah, I thought it's one of the best true stories. And then the second one I'm going to go with is I'm going to save this one until the end, I think. So I'll go with the social network.

Oh, it's a great movie. It is. It's so good. I will go with the Facebook Zuckerberg story. Yeah. Yeah, Fincher makes good. So the whole Facebook backstory. You know, I came across that and I forgot to put it on my list.

But it was fun to watch. That's a good watch. And it's so modern, obviously. And it's like, if you're Zuckerberg and I mean, I'm sure there's plenty of liberties taken in there. And not everyone comes out of that movie looking fantastic. But like if you're Zuckerberg, I'm watching that movie going, yeah, I'm looking pretty good right now. Good work. Okay.

I can't take any chances. It's not on, it's not on Jason's list. I don't think. But again, we can't take any chances. Because you got to feel the rhythm. Oh,

you got to feel the rhyme. What a great big. Cool runnings, baby. Cool running is based on a true story. We got a bobsled team. Oh, man. Oh my gosh.

Yes. Dude, best pick of the draft. I can't believe. It's not on my list. I mean. You're dead bon. totally forgot, but that is awesome.

You've got to pick that thing up. The Olympics are going on right now. I mean, well done. I loved that movie. I loved that movie as a kid. Watch it again. It's still good. I forgot it was based on a true story. We've got all these serious Iranian hostage crises and this is the Jamaican bobsled team.

Yeah. And I'm going to be honest with you here. I'm going to keep rolling with your concept here. Okay. Jump in. I'm going. Water's nice. I'm going sports.

Okay. No, you're taking it. Going, no. There's a lot of true sports movies. And I'm not going to take your first one, okay, because this is the movie I wanted second. It is a great movie. It's a little older, and I don't think it's going to be on your guys' list, a league of their own. Oh, yeah, it's a great movie.

That movie is awesome. Also has Tom Hanks. Does Hanks and DiCaprio only do these, like, true stories? Yeah, they're on a handful of these. And then I'm going to follow that up. Truth is better than fiction. Oh, man. Oh.

I was, you know, Andy, your response has me questioning which movie to go with. Like I gave something away? Yeah. Yeah. Because you'd rather steal for me than get the right pick. Well, you reminded me of something that I think is the right pick. And you just reminded me. And so you helped me remember the Titans.

Oh, that's fine. Is that a real one? Yeah, yeah. It's based on a true story. Remember the Titans is, uh, that's a good movie. I didn't know that that was real. Yeah. Yeah.

The, the, the, the plot. I think the plot is, uh, the inclusion of, like, uh, the segregated schools. Are they desegregate? Okay. Yeah, the desegregation and then. That's the bad. It's, I think it's probably my favorite. I haven't seen it forever.

Like sports movie, football movie. Football movie. It's definitely my favorite football movie. Yeah. Based on a true. story. I didn't have it on my list until just then. But yeah, I'll go back to back sports. Okay, their own and remember the Titans.

There was another sports one that I... Yeah, I've got another sports one I was going to go with. All right, Mike. Your final pick, you have Apollo 13, Argo and Cool Runnings. Jason finished with Braveheart, the Wolf of Wall Street, a league of their own, and remember the Titans. Wow. So there's still a few really good ones.

But I'm going to try and... I'm trying to remember, like, the impact when I first saw it. and so and whatever I'll just diversify my movie genres here a little bit I'm going to take Black Hawk down Black Hawk down in the theater was that was an event

that was super intense from that was too intense for me it really was start to finish that movie was extremely intense I was like yeah not able to handle it that's a good that's a good pick I have catching me if you can into the wild on the social network

and I'm going to... Yeah, the last one's hard. I feel like I've already lost this draft. And that makes me want to be more focused, not on the movie that people have seen as much, but on the best pick. It should never be that. It should be your picks.

Then I'm going to choose the combination of amazing film with amazing story. Jurassic Park. Society of the Snow. Okay. I'm going to take society. Have you seen it? I've talked about it at length and...

There's two. versions. There's an old one that they did in the seven. The old one's alive. Um, what? Oh, alive is the name of it. Alive is on my list. Um, Society of the Snow is the more recent one they made on Netflix and it's, uh, based on the same story. Yeah, that's what people eat people. Well, uh, that's, that's really, uh, taking one part of the movie, but it's the survival of a sports team that crashes in the Andes mountains. Yeah, in 1970s. And they have to like, basically survive in entire winter. I just remember growing up and

hearing about this movie that was crazy. It was crazy. Yes. There was this true story of when people ate people. That's all I knew from it. Obviously they were driven to that. Not like a hobby. And they weren't alive when they were eating them. Right. Right. Which

I feel like that's not fair to name the movie alive. But it's not eaten alive. It's more about staying alive. You think it in the movie. eaten alive. Okay. All right. Some other ones.

I'm sure we got a lot here. The other sports one I was going to mention was Moneyball. Moneyball was what I planned to take until you reminded me of remember. And then some classics, the big short, which was amazing. And then Aaron Brockovich, I always loved that movie. I never saw it. I've never seen it. That'll make it harder to like.

Yeah. I mean, that won the- Can't give opinions. Didn't that win Best Picture? Or did she just win Best Actress? Yeah. Yeah, that was a great movie. I had Hidden Figures.

Yeah, that's an awesome movie. NASA. Yes. NASA with the three black women who are like huge part of it and they just don't get credit because we've done stupid stuff. I almost kept the DiCaprio run going because I found out Revenant is based off of a true story. And I imagine that you're trying to finish that movie. I imagine that you two do not like the Revenant. Never saw it.

Don't see it. Don't see it. Really? If you started it a year ago, you'd almost be done with it. You would watch it the same way you watch Blade Runner and go, this is stupid and not much is happening. It's more about the environment and, oh my gosh, the soundtrack, though, is the whole movie is incredible. It's an okay movie. Yeah.

It's just, it's just a long slog, man. That movie just keeps going and going. It's long and slow. I actually thought of it during this and didn't. think it was based on any true story. It must be loose. I think it's just, yeah, based off of that. Like a guy's, the guy is like William Wallace. I only knew one thing about that movie that you guys lied to me about. All right. I had a couple on my list. I had the pianist or Schindler's list. Awesome movies. They just, you know, they're not fun. I hate calling movies like that awesome.

No, right. Yes, totally. But you can do it. But that's why it went on draft. Impactful. Okay. Yes. Yes. Because it's a horrible, awful, horrendous true story captured well in cinema. Yeah, yeah, they're not fun times. If I watch it more than once, I'm like, that's not okay. I had a beautiful mind, very good movie based on a true story. The founder, huh? Oh, the founder's pretty good.

Oh, that's a good movie. Yeah, the founder is. I love Michael Keith. I imagine that Ray Kroc is not very happy about that movie. You had Ali that was, you know, we didn't have any of a huge list over you. Well, there's a lot of good ones. Cinderella man? The one that I thought was too loose,

even looser than Bravart, was the Patriot, apparently, was... No, it's not. It is loosely based on historical figures. It was based on the fact there was a revolutionary war. No, no, I looked at it out. It is loosely. No, it is not.

Would you have counted Titanic? Yes, of course. Okay. That's where it's like, yes, it's based on... I know, I know the Titanic went down. I just meant like the entire story is made up. Right. And then walk hard the Dewey Cox story.

Those are mine. It's a true story. What is that? Oh, you don't know. It's the story of Dewey Cox, the musician. He's very similar to Johnny Cash. That one's not a true story. What did we learn today?

What did we learn today? I'm thinking nothing. I learned that Mike is really good at Ballardash. I mean, we were guessing every one of his clues. I learned that there is maybe nothing sillier than a. front half robot. That's true. And I learned that Tom Hanks and DeCaprio are end of the true stories. So thanks for joining us.

We'll be here next week. Mike will have the scat. We'll have a new draft. And we'll have a good time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballerspod.com.