Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Outhouse Proof & The Best Decades - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

Spit Hit for July 24th, 2025:On today’s show, we talk about trolling the trolls, being alone in an elevator for 48 hours, and being the dumbest person on the planet. ‘Jason Explains’ also makes an appearance for the first time in a while.  Then we do some ‘Is This Real Life?’ and close it down with a draft of the best decades. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Arooty, 2D, fresh and fruity. Shake your booty. It looked like you were going to completely collapse. It was so close to collapse, but I feel like the shake your booty got it. Got it back. Yeah, I wish I could have. I wish I could have delivered on time. Yeah, it was. This was not perfection. No, this was the email have delivered on time. Yeah, well this was not perfection. No, this was the email you get from Amazon, your delivery is running late.

Yeah, but it still arrived. But it does arrive. I do love being reminded of the Rudy Tootie Fresh and Fruity commercials. Oh yeah, that was the International House of Pancakes. Yes, was that not Denny's? Yeah, because you have to put the Groucho Marx glasses on. The Rudy Tootie was ... Oh, that was Denny's. No, it was IHOP. I think you're correct. I loved, I mean, I loved IHOP growing up. Oh, it was Disneyland of restaurants to me. It felt like I was going

to an expensive... Because you got, I I mean breakfast food, first of all. Probably cheap for them to provide, but really delicious to eat. And they had a long run that it is a sandwich that I still dream about. It was, because look, boys. A sandwich. Yes, you know.

That's the International House of Pancakes. I get it, but listen. You know my love for a club sandwich. I do. You are first in line to get into the club. You go clubbing. They had, for a while, a hamburger club sandwich. And I mean, look, it's really not that much different

than a burger. But it was called the club. But it was, well, because it had the extra piece of bread and all the normal stuff. Like a Big Mac. Yeah, but on toast. And this blew your mind? It wasn't that it blew my mind. It was so good.

It was incredible. I just can't imagine going there and getting a sandwich. I gotta get the breakfast sampler, get a little bit of everything. I mean, the Mickey Mouse pancakes, I mean. Were they allowed to do that? Back then, yeah. Back then they could feed you straight chocolate for breakfast.

Oh, I'm saying, were they, was Disney getting a cutback? That I don't know. I think that, you know. They can make shapes. Mickey moose. Mickey moose. But he looks like a mouse.

Welcome into The Spitballers, episode 265, Would You Rather, Jason Explains, Is This Real Life? And we are drafting today, as we always do. Today we are drafting, it's a different one. It's gonna be a struggle. We are drafting the best decades. And we're- Starting in the 1900s.

Correct, yeah, because I don't even feel like people treated decades like their own time period till about the 1900s. Correct, yeah, because I don't even feel like people treated decades like their own time period till about the 1900s. I know they were, but it wasn't like, they all have a feel, all the decades have a feel. I'm sure they did back then as well, but they're very far removed, like the 1770s, I'm sure people were like, oh, they had disco.

No way, man. Let's party. No way 1799 up until 1900. It was just people didn't know what time it was. It was just like am I alive today? Yes, I made I woke up. I made it through another day What month what year is it and then then we started keeping track do we have? So we but what's funny about that is if we draft decades from the 1900s on, that's 12 decades and we'll have 12 picks. So you're getting stuck. Oh, Andy gets stuck with the, oh, do I get the worst? Yeah. You get the run. I feel like I know what he's going to end up with. I shoot. I think so

too. I'm going to start making the case for that decade right now in my head Please do but I also get the first pick. That's true. I jumped on Chat GPT and I was like What good stuff happened in in this decade that I'm thinking of and my computer exploded? Yeah, there's nothing. Yeah, it bad. No, it does not work. Well we'll get there. Nothing. We'll get there. It'll be fun. All right let's jump into would you rather. Would you rather. All right. Joe from the website, would you rather be stuck on an elevator for 48 hours by yourself or for 10 hours with an elevator full of strangers? Oh. I've got a quick question.

How full? Let's go... It matters. Let's go five people in what feels like a seven person elevator Okay, so when you said how full yeah, I assumed you meant like how recently did you eat? How full are you on this elevator so is that the first thing you thought of with 48 hours by yourself is you're You're on a bit of a fast? There's a problem. 48 hours, you're going to be weird.

48 hours on an empty stomach? Because my mind, of course, went to food. So I was thinking, yeah, that's a good point. 48 hours by yourself on an elevator, you're going to be starving and thirsty just after Thanksgiving dinner. There's no way I'm picking 48. That's so long.

I mean, being by myself would be the preferred situation, but 10 hours, I could do that, 48, you brought it up. I mean, I hadn't thought of it right away, but you will be so thirsty. I feel like that's slightly defeating. Like, let's just say- I can hold my pee for the 10 hours. Let's amend this question and say that there's some bottled waters and a loaf of bread okay

this isn't like you're not getting gourmet meals and snacks and chips on your elevator like you normally would is this the single for the 48 hours or are you saying with all the people no no just when you're by yourself okay for the 48 hours because you need that with all the people? No, just when you're by yourself. Okay. For the 48 hours because you need that. I don't think this is about like, do you want to start? By the way, if you have a bottle of water, the move is to drink the whole bottle and then use the bottle for pee, right?

For sure. Do you? I think you want to sip. Sip? Well, I think the point is you need the bottle. I'm just saying you need the bottle. Well, I'm not really worried about that right now. You're not worried about it over a 48 hour? You're going to be worried about it.

You're going to have to pee. You're going to have to pee, Mike. Yeah, I'll pick a corner. Oh, that'll smell. Anyways. You don't think it'll smell in the bottle? I thought this was a really. Not if you cap it.

No, you can cap the bottle. That's true. That's what I was going to do. Did any of you guys ever? All right, detour. Detour. Did any of you guys ever go on a road trip in which your parents refused to pull over

and then you had to pee inside of maybe- In the moving car? In the moving vehicle to save time? I ask for a friend. I'm sure it happens a lot. I don't, I've not done it. No peeing in a moving vehicle? Our youngest has pulled that maneuver off. Oh, yeah more than a dozen

No No, I guess it's not usually moving. It's like parking lot You know like why are you going in a bottle in the parking lot? Just jump out and find a bush We usually got like a cop or something a cop cup. Oh usually got like a cop or something. A cop? Cop? Oh. Oh, what?

I was like, I have to do it. Well, no, because you're like, no, there's only a cop around, so I don't. A cop. I feel like if an officer saw a small child being into a bush, they're going to be like, yeah, I get it. I will always remember, we were on the way home from a big road trip.

I really had to go. My dad did not want to try to find, either it wasn't a close rest stop, he just wanted to push through, but it got pretty dire. And there was like an old, like a 44 ounce from like a Circle K, like Styrofoam cup. Okay.

Well that's sturdy. And I used the Styrofoam cup. It's big opening. As a small kid, and then we put the cap back on it. Uh oh. And then what happened was is the second we got home, we were gonna take that out and throw it away. But what happened is that the neighbor saw us coming home.

So I just remember my dad had a long conversation with the neighbor while he was holding a 44 ounce cup of my urine. Oh, that's sweet. And I was like afraid he was gonna tell him. You wanna know what's in this cup?, that's sweet. And I was like afraid he was going to tell him. You want to know what's in this cup? My son's pee. No, I don't care about the bread and the water. I'm taking the 10 hours with the friends. I like talking. Oh, goodness. I'm happy to talk to these folks. If I'm not starving or dying of thirst, then I'm definitely taking

the 48 hours. I feel like... phone Jay. Oh, that's fine I think I would sign up for that right now You would do it like if I'm allowed to get stuck in an elevator right now with water and bread for you know Jason is opting into the Airbnb like that is a you realize a lot elevator a level of punishment that Many consider to be tortured. The claustrophobia would get real in 48 hours. The isolation. For me. Okay, so I gotta, I gotta.

You will be sleeping, which also again, you're probably like, yeah. An amendment, the 10 hours, so the people who are in the elevator, they are all really full. Ha ha ha ha ha. Like they're uncomfortably full. Yeah're not going to be using the rest of the system. No, I'm just saying at the moment of shutdown, they're all like, oh, oh, why do I eat the dessert? 48 alone. If there's a chance of vomit existing in that, I mean,

I don't know what kind of like a scientific, you know, momentum inertia thing happens when if there's four people in an elevator and one begins to throw up like I am the sympathetic puker like I can't take the smell. I can't look at it. Yeah. So then I start throwing up. You have a high chance of but what if they're a sympathetic of a bio problem like you will go on forever? I think eventually. Could you fill the elevator?

Eventually you'll empty yourselves out, but. That's so gross. Another great reason to be by yourself. So gross. Yeah. You'll drown. Jesse from the website, while returning, I'm sorry, while retaining your current intellect, would you rather be the most intelligent or the least intelligent person in the world?

You gotta, what? That's a confusing one to work through. I mean, for you guys, not for me. Of course, it's saying where you are right now, do you want everyone to be dumber, or are you willing to be the dumbest person on? Earth, but you're the baseline of intelligence and that's that's easily the point you guys you don't know you take it for the team Take it for a human. Oh, that's what you would do

I'm gonna enjoy all the cool stuff that everyone is made and then we like oh here comes dumb Mike I'm like yeah, give me some more video games, please Every dumb person doesn't know how dumb they are because you are what you are so you can't come in smart enough to know that I'm dumb right cuz I'm not dumb right definitely definitely not you're the dumbest cuz you know that or am I guys my duck guys tell me anybody my friends to tell me anyway, anyways, you've got a great memory I mean, but the the the truth is if you are the dumbest person in the world at your current intellect That utopian society exactly right. I mean you're talking about technological advances. I'm calling BS all over. I'm calling BS I feel like we've had a form of this question before every and and Mike you might have taken the kind of altruistic answer that this is there is no way that Jason did the last time that this answer came up maybe

Jason is a person Jason decided I believe if I recall that he wanted you would be the lord of all the dummies You'd be the smartest you don't like you you You'd be lifted up on their shoulder dumb shoulders, but I don't oh man That would that would be pretty great the problem would come to you for wisdom. You'd be there shaman or something I can't make Technology I can't I can't manufacture microchips. I can't do those things.

But you want them to exist. And I want them to exist. So if everyone's dumber than me, then I don't give a cool stuff. Yeah, but I believe the last time you chose to be praised as a god. I believe that we haven't had this question before. Okay. You're just putting this on me. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. It's good to see. You want the world to grow. I'll go that route. Utopian society. Yeah.

Do you think that- Do dumb people know that the smart person is smart? Do dumb people know that the smart person is smart? Because they don't know they're dumb. Because you won't get reverence from people that don't know that you're smarter than them. Because dumb people don't realize when people are smarter than them.

That's what makes them dumb in some ways. Yeah. No, that's that's pretty valid I think that if you chose to be the smartest person in the world All the other people think they're the smartest you couldn't prove to them You were smarter because they wouldn't listen right because they're so dumb. Okay, I think we got this one It's yeah, I mean then and people are trying to water their crops with Gatorade we have this movie. Yeah, all right. Luke from Patreon, would you rather have the skill

to create viral content effortlessly? Okay, so social media. Yeah. Or the skill to silence any internet troll with a single witty mic drop comeback? Now, here's the interesting part about this, right? Because this last part about silencing the internet troll with a witty mic drop comeback, it's actually impossible in reality because that's the nature of the trolls.

They can't be silenced. You feed them, they get stronger. Exactly. But this says you silence internet trolls with a witty comeback. So you're doing something in public on social media where like a troll comes and you mic drop them and everyone sees that that troll went away. Everyone goes, oh, and then they stop talking. Yeah. And it feels good. And then no one cares. Here's the thing about the internet and trolls that people do not realize is even if you, there's like, oh, it's definitive.

You won the argument, the other person backed down. No one cares. No one cares. You've accomplished nothing. Yeah, I don't even know that I would care. There is. Like if I was the one that did it. Yeah, I mean, this is gonna come into our draft later

This whole world the whole internet world will be debated in where we draft the decades that include the internet. I'll tell you that Yeah, yeah, I mean I was trying to like hype up the being able to silence a troll Because I felt like that was not the better side of this would you rather I? Don't I don't know both bad really sides I don't really care about trolls go here about trolls a lot no I silenced them it's called a mute button yeah I just I'm pretty good at ignoring trolls I don't really care ah yeah yeah so Andy the baby rolls can get him. Andy doesn't like the trolls. Sometimes.

I mean we've been doing this for 10 years. And we've had bazillions of trolls. And I will say that there's a handful of times that certain things will, you know, we've all got the like sensitive spots in the armor. And so there's certain areas where you're like, I shouldn't care but I do. Because that's human nature. What I was gonna say though, is they both kind of are sucky situations, in my opinion.

How's the first one sucky? Because if you create viral content, you get a bunch of trolls to the equation. What is the purpose of the viral content? To gain eyeballs on your content. On what? Yeah, I mean, so that could be argued as who cares as well. Because there's a lot of non-ven-

You know what I mean? You're on a slippery slope of who cares about anything, my man. Let's go. Nothing matters. That's Mike's world, yeah. Well, I mean, you said it. Who cares about the debate you win?

But I think the point is that the world of internet comments and attention is stupid so we run a yeah yeah oh yeah aside from like if it's not a business and it's just yeah you don't take your it's not the money so you like the 15 minutes it's the attention yeah it's not good for me it's that's pointless that's my point that's all I'm saying. Not the money. Like if you want to translate this into the ever present, would you rather end goal of eyeballs equals marketing equals cash money in my pockets? Yeah, we take that one. Yeah. Which is already where Jason's Jason's literally over here putting money in his sack. Oh, but

South Park had a very funny episode all about this where the boys do something and go viral and then they're trying to go find their internet money. Oh, that doesn't exist? They're like, wait, where's my internet money? And then it's all the other people who have gone viral. And it was like, no, there's nothing there for you. There's no money. There's no internet money.

So I mean, I guess that's the one that maybe you like that attention more than you could do positive things with viral content Yeah, I feel like you can do positive things shutting the trolls down trolls trolls. It just breeds more. No, they hurt other people There are people that get hurt by trolls. So if you drop the mic drop comment and you shut the troll down You're you're like a internet Batman, but you would have a buster You would have to be troll busting 24-7. But you- Non-stop.

Dude, if you could go out, this is like being a hero on the street. If one kick and one punch knocks out every bad guy, you're doing it all the time. It's fun. Yeah, but I feel like, you know, if you're a superhero, you're waiting for super villains. And there's not that many of them. There's infinity trolls. I don't think more viral content helps the world. I'm taking the Mike Drop comeback.

Interesting. I think the world needs more great viral content. I will take the viral content. More! All right. Mike, final answer. I'm taking the viral content. It at least makes me laugh.

All right. Robbie from Patreon, would you rather have to consume all video content from now on at half speed or two times speed? So we had this question a long time ago with audio, but video content at half speed or two times speed. The truth is, is two times is too fast for me on audio. Yeah, the people that-

Unless it's some topic that's just like, super quickly consumable. The people that do the pods. One and a half I can do. Oh, I can't even do that. And that's hard, yeah, 1.3, 1.2, that's better. But for video, I know that it will be super painful to go half speed. Oh.

Almost unbearable, but then two times speed, I'm gonna miss a lot. A lot lot. Now imagine if you're watching Dunkirk, okay? Now that's when I would like two times speed I'm gonna miss a lot. A lot lot. Now imagine if you're watching Dunkirk, okay? Now that's when I would like two times speed. If you watch that half speed, according to Andy, that would be 12 hours long at half speed. That I could deal with.

Yeah, the Godfather is still, it never ends. Yeah, the idea that you could be in a bad movie and you're like, this'll be over soon. Right. That's helpful. I think that there is no single advantage to half speed. There's nothing positive, nothing redeemable. What about the Matrix, like the dodge and the bullets?

Becomes real slow motion. I mean, super duper bullet time. You get to see all of the special effects for a while. okay, so I think the graphics are gonna look real bad if you cut them into half speed I guess I guess football games half speed would be pretty cool. Oh, no, they'd be five hours Well, they'd be really got shit, but there would be an advantage of like I get to watch the routes develop a little bit better and pay attention to more on the offensive line. Yeah, I appreciate it. But that's my point is like,

I don't see any redeemable quality. There are plenty of redeemable qualities on the two times speed. Does that mean all the voices become all- Chipmunkie. Chipmunks? For sure they do. Al? Yeah. Or goblins. I don't think they go that high pitched on 2X speed.

But like Morgan Freeman, you're not gonna get that anymore. No. Just sounds like a regular person. Yeah. I don't wanna be in that world. I just, I don't think I could watch, I don't think either is doable.

I wouldn't watch movies anymore. I would not opt into them, I think, genuinely. Those are the only two choices. What if you things people to move At half speed while they're recording their movies Now that now we're we're it's a little Their movements are gonna be real jittery So you get you but it's regular you build out one studio that does this and those are the movies you watch

Yeah, I would find it so fascinating as a science experiment to actually see what that would look like if you recorded a scene of anything. But while you're recording it, you're saying our goal here is to do it exactly half speed and we're going to play this at twice the speed. I want to see the final product. Yeah music videos are the way, they've done the backwards ones too. Whenever you see people moving like real jittery but their lips are matched up it's because they... Really? Yeah they augment the time of and then they have to lip sync to it so you would have to...

You have to lip sync at half speed. You'd have to record all the dialogue and then... Slow at half speed and lip sync it. No, no, no. That's the thing. It's like I want every... It all live? It all live. You don't get that...

That would be very difficult. Yeah, I want to see how bad that final product would be. I'm going with the two times. Yes. You got to be two times. Hey, guess what? We have a Jason Explains. Jason explains in 60 seconds. What are you explaining today? Hey, guess what? We have a Jason Explains.

Jason Explains in 60 Seconds. What are you explaining today? I'm going to teach you all about any topic, because I know about every topic. Let's find out. Smartest man on... this is what you'd be able to do. Yeah. This is really the question. Yeah, the pinnacle of human existence. Let's find out what all right Jason you have 60 seconds to explain Astrology oh astrology is an easy explanation astrology is the oh

astrology is the mapping of the stars where people look at how planets are aligning and they make decisions based on Their their signs in the in the stars and they make decisions based on their signs in the stars. It's gonna blow! And what ends up happening is all the people that are inferior intellectually, that are below me as the barometer of human intelligence, they look at these things and they think it's gonna affect their life. They look at trends from other people's lives and they convince themselves of jewels and crystals that everything is gonna, the future is gonna come out exactly how

they see it and so astrology basically points all of the dumbest people in the world to believe things that aren't gonna happen based on star events that they can't comprehend that is everything there it is you didn't even make it to the counters I didn't know there was a counter what is this oh crystals I loved how affected everyone in this room was by how intense that like that's that's bomb disarmal music that music that had to be the first time we've ever had that right. Yes. No we've had it before. What. Because I don't remember what it's been in a long time. I do not remember. We were all really caught off guard with the

voice came in because nobody knew it was. Are you being are you telling the truth. I promise. Yeah. You have waited long enough to where we have forgot It's been possible. It was on mute when you played it last night. No we all talked about it's been years I'm very intense. Just go back. I feel like you're talking regularly and then the music starts in your job So you got you really anxious real fast Everyone in their car started like gripping the steer you tighter Basically felt like a five-second countdown for 60 seconds Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did and I learned so much time to move on

Is this real life Well, we have the opportunity on this episode, on this segment, to share three real life stories that we have discovered with one another because the world is full of interesting stories. And I will begin with a story from CNN. Oh, okay. Okay. You know, we're going to go straight to, I mean, this is pretty recent as of this recording.

Plane turns back to JFK after horse escapes on board. Hold on. Yeah. Hold on. Yeah. Wait a minute. A Boeing 747 in route. Full size horse?

In route from New York, JFK to Belgium was forced to turn around on November 9th after a horse got loose in the cargo hold Wait a minute. You can transfer Transfer transfer her Well, that's this You can just like you can fly commercial. I didn't know this story at a sad turn. I might not even read that Well, let's just say there were 15 horses on Were there were 15 horses on board and 14 got to Belgium Had to be euthanized due to the injuries of escaping in the cargo hold

So I didn't I didn't realize that part, but basically escaping in the cargo hold. Oh, man. So I didn't realize that part, but basically. Did he jump? No, he didn't jump. He escaped the cargo hold. Oh my gosh, the idea of a horse coming down. A horse jumped out of the machine.

A horse landing on your property. Gah-plosh! It's like the Hippo episode all over again. But from 30,000 feet. But hold on. There was not just one horse. There was 15 horses? The horse was among 15 being trans our bowing arc Goose

It became spooked due to turbulence due to they being on a plane. What are we putting horses on the plane? Well, how do you think horses get places man put them on a boat? They lost their wings a long time ago I I Am shocked that a horse has ever been on a plane. Well, in the cargo hold, it got spooked and it jumped over the barrier and got trapped out there. It's a wild horse down there. How, two legs in, two legs out.

Biggest as cargo hold. That's what I need a visual. Planes are pretty big, man. Planes are bigger than I thought. They're doing all sorts of stuff. I know how big a horse is. Well, I mean, how big is a horse compared to a human? At least five times the size. OK, so five times 15.

They fit that many people on a plane. Not in the cargo hold. They didn't buy tickets. They're not up there in first class. What are you charged for a horsey? I mean, if I got to pay 50 bucks for my bag. I have a 50 pound limit. Yeah. Oh, you don't have as much horse weight?

Like a thousand pounds? Performance in breeding horses, including race horses and show horses, are routinely shuffled safely around the globe without incident. But this episode speaks to the inherent unpredictability of work with horses. Of putting a horse on a plate. Which are flight animals that can injure themselves when frightened or startled. And so to answer the question,

the average weight for a horse is between 900 and 1200 pounds. The average cost. They charge me for my 51 pound bag. No, listen to this. We're all supplementing the horse people. The horse's tickets, one way tickets, cost between two and 10 grand per horse. Oh, well, it's a Belgium.

I mean, that's a long flight. That's fair. That's fair. So look, when I pulled this one up, I actually didn't know about the bad news on horse 15. But do, OK, dumb question. Do horses- There are no dumb questions here.

Do horses lay down to sleep? No, the whole thing about horses is that they sleep standing up. No, that's cows. No, that's horses. No, I thought it was cows. No, that's horses. No, Bargassi proved- That's a horse thing.

Yeah, the horse was just sleeping, laying down. You're using one man's comedy routine to be your validation? Science. Yeah, people use this show all the time as validation. No, but we're like, this is a real show. Does a horse sleep while laying down? Yes, they sleep standing up. Do they ever lay down?

Sure, to rest. Yeah, but they need like a blanket. So sleeping is not the rest? They doze while standing. They're able to do this. They're able to doze. Horses have an amazing ability to be able to sleep standing up, but they do also sleep lying down.

Yeah, so is the horse having enough room to lay down in this plane, or do they have to stand the whole time? I think they gotta stand. It's just a quick flight to Belgium. That is so rude. So anyway that that happened. Now there were I mean is this just a cargo plane? Do we know that? I don't I don't see that in here. Were there people that were rerouted due to the horse and could they hear the horse below them? Now that you bring that up I

do realize that there are only cargo airplanes because in my head yeah this was like this was under a bunch of people this is a commercial flight and people just have their horses in the in that's what I thought that's what it's yeah wait in that case all the people took their horses to the airport and then like put them on the plane how else you had to bring it go planes man there's planes yeah here's a breaking news all your packages that come from overseas they're not getting boated over they're in cargo planes they're not just stuffed with the luggage of regular people but you still gotta bring horses to the airport you do have to bring you do have to bring them to the airport. Yeah, I mean, they're not the plane has to fly from somewhere. You do have to bring them to the airport.

Alright. Alright, so share with me. What kind of stories do you have, Jay? I got a pretty gross one. Okay, mine's more of a, like, nightmare situation. Let's hear the nightmare. Okay. Here's your headline.

Ride passengers rescued after dangling upside down 75 feet up for half an hour. Wait, say that again? This is like a roller coaster type ride? Yeah, so passengers rescued dangling upside down 75 feet up for half an hour. I might have seen some of the bits and pieces of this story coming through. So this one was at a Canadian amusement park. Shocker Canadians with their history of being unsafe. You're just taking a shot at them?

I am. I was. Sorry, Canada. But in Canada's Wonderland theme park, so this thing, it's the ride where they're shaped like axes, because it's Canada. So they must be shaped that way, but it's where basically you just sit there

and then it does the loop-de-loop. Okay. Over and over and over. Well, it got to the top and it stopped like that and those people were just upside down and it just keeps getting worse on different levels of this particular ride is situated so that people Are looking at each other? So you get to see the horror in in your co-riders face?

So you get to see people, you know screaming they're all upside down. There's they said there's video The park staff can be heard asking through a megaphone, is everyone doing okay up there? To which they all shout no. Oh no. Oh my gosh, what do you think they're going to be like? Yeah, having a good time! So they're up there for, upside down, for half an hour. Here's the real kicker, guys.

Oh no. They got it fixed, but after they got it fixed, the ride had to complete its full sequence. No it didn't. So they had to finish the ride. No, no. Honestly that's good, you don't wanna have that taken away from you.

I paid good money for this ride, don't rip me off. Oh no, there are, oh that's awful. I paid good money for this ride. Don't rip me off. Oh, no. There are... Oh, that's awful. Man, there are some things that people do for adrenaline that I think are super fun, but if something went wrong, I'd be so embarrassed to have died or been maimed having chosen to do those things.

How long do you think, like okay. How long could you hang upside down? Yeah, I mean there's gotta be health. Yeah, without passing out. Risks. But I'm just thinking for the people that were in that situation, they got stuck. That's gotta be scary.

It's like really, really scary. At first, for the first few seconds. Like oh my gosh, why are we stopped? Oh I'm hanging, I'm like like coming into my seat I hope the seat holds a blah blah blah, and then a minute goes on and then ten minutes goes on I'm guessing you're terrified the whole time that I just feel like the time Would go so slow. Yes, you would feel like you were up there for as the blood fills your head for three hours Wow, yeah, that's that's that's pretty. Jason, what do you have for us? All right.

Woman rescued from outhouse toilet after climbing in to retrieve Apple watch. Oh my goodness gracious. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Rescue? Rescue. Yeah, that's the problem right there. You let... Bad decision. I'm gonna let the spit wads out there know this great piece of advice from the state police in Michigan. Quote, if you lose an item in an outhouse toilet, do not attempt to venture inside the containment area. The containment area? Yeah, I thought that was really kind of them. The doo-doo area?

Yeah, the doo-doo area. Doo-doo zone. I don't know what I would have to lose in there to go into the container. Your dignity? Right? That's gone first. 10,000 cash falls out of your pocket.

I? Not loose bills, one stack. I do not believe I would go in after it. I really don't believe I would go. Because I can barely go in an outhouse. Like a real outhouse, if you. 10,000, you could be like, somebody go in and I'll give you a percentage of it back.

Oh, absolutely. Oh, there we go. Yeah, I'll give you $1,000. And then they come back, they're like, dude, there's $10,000 you could be like somebody go in and I'll give you a percentage of a bath. Oh, absolutely Oh, there we go. Yeah, I'll give you a thousand dollars and then they come back. They're like dude, there's ten dollars Yeah, and you get one Um also clean my money I'll give you i'll give you uh 200 you could have the outside bills I'll take the inside stack, but this woman Uh was reaching in and I don't even know how

it's possible to fall in. I feel like I couldn't fall in through a toilet. If you were like, try to get in there, you're like, I can't. I mean, not everyone's my size. Yeah, I was going to say. I don't have any risk. I am outhouse safe. I got my safety net with me. Outhouse safe.

But obviously this woman was thinner than I am and really needed that Apple Watch. I mean, put it this way, another way to say it, you said, okay, $10,000 drops in, okay, that's enough money you can pay someone. How much would it cost? Because I'm pretty sure an Apple Watch is about $129. What if- Depends on which one. I don't know what happened to this woman in the order of operations, but let's pretend for a minute,

she was leaving the outhouse. So she had opened the door and then she goes, oh, I forgot my Apple Watch. And she reached in and then she fell in. At that point, did somebody else come in to use the outhouse? So she was trapped. Hello!

No, that's what happened. Oh no, how long was she down there? How much is down there? I don't know what's going on down there, man. Yeah. How much space is there? There's enough space to not be able to get out. So it's a deep hole here that they had to basically.

Yeah, this isn't a regular outhouse. This is where it's the huge pit. This is a down and out house. So the woman had to yell for help and was eventually found and heard and then they had to remove the outhouse and crane her out. That's an embarrassing moment is when they crane the outhouse over the top of the pit and then it's just you in a pit of poop. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Like they pull that thing away and they're yarr. You're covered in poop. They're yarr. I don't know if she got her watch. I'm guessing she got a bill. Yeah, she probably got a bill. Probably worth a lot more than that watch.

With the Apple watch. The rescue bill. And if you come- Will you guys take a watch instead? Not that one. I mean, do the people, do you laugh? Yeah. You laugh a lot.

I'm saying like if you- Not the person in the outhouse. I'm saying like you come across an outhouse, someone's yelling help, and you realize what is happening I guess you go I would freak out. Oh, yeah, you help them, but do you do you giggle? I know they're gonna be safe. Yeah, you start laughing hard. Yeah, you start calling your friends you go Yeah, I want to get the toilet in the frame Hey viral right yes's how you go viral

I'm a live stream this Wow, okay. Well, that's disgusting. Let's let's draft The spitballers draft I Don't know if this is the best draft to have the number one picking because this is this really subjective. We're we're drafting the best decades starting from the 1900s going all the way up till 2020. We're not including the one we're in, but that gives you 12 decades to choose from. I've got the first pick. There are some good decades with kind of iconic things that have transpired, progression for humanity, whatever you define as making a decade good. There are some not so great decades.

There are some not so one. Good ones. Not so one. What I ended up deciding to go with, because I think that there's, I like the decade to have a true feel to it. I think that's important. Like I wanna pick, like when I think of a decade, I wanna picture it instantaneously in my head. And there was a lot of good stuff that happened.

I think it's the most easy to picture or one of the most. I'm taking with the number one pick, the 1980s. Okay. Yep, yep. And not just cause I was born then in the 1980s. But that was into the Cold War War that was tear down this wall. So it's political, you know Cold Wars over. Thank you, Mike. That's not a very good Reagan Gore mr. Gobert, that's not bad. You started as Nixon

You started as Nixon and then you went to try it try to do Reagan. I don't even know Reagan's voice It's me Ronald. It's not that bad now shut up end of Cold War the Chernobyl disaster stop it stop 1986 the beginning of the personal computer revolution you got Apple and Macintosh and all that stuff So you got the beginning of computers you got crazy clothes got all the pop culture madness and all the hair I actually ironically just saw somebody share a video of like high school in the 80s and They were like panning the camera around a classroom and it was so funny to see all the big hair All the music and the entertainment in the 80s was pretty good. I mean, to me

that is an iconic decade that I felt was worthy of the number one pick. I figured the top two picks would be the 80s and then I will take the 90s. Yeah, the 90s are the best. I am very versed in the 90s. I was around for it. I had a great time in the 90s. Yes. I was around for it I had a great time in the 90s. You know I just look just playing video game Internet's explosion started happening then But it was pretty social media. It was the heyday of cartoons. Yes. Yeah Are the 90s that were more cartoons 90s I think it's 80s or the 90s that were more cartoons? 90s. I think it's. I think the 80s were pretty good, too. They're both.

Says the guy that drafted the 80s. Yeah, of course. Yeah, the 90s were the. I just want some cartoon credit, too. That's all. Oh, yeah. The 80s and the 90s, you can blur them together, because we were kids growing up in the 90s.

I just remember living in the 90s thinking, I wonder if this will ever feel like a decade. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? You were in it, and you're like, oh, but people talk about the 70s and the 80s. The 90s will never feel that way. You have to get old, and then you

see the youth wearing the things that you wore. And you're like, what is happening? Yeah. What are you wearing? Oh, it's so retro. Well, the 90s was number two on my list, so that makes sense. The 90s. Now the draft begins.

Yeah, the 90s were number one on my list. Actually, the 80s were number three on my list. Actually, the 80s were number three on my list. Oh. So I'm going to take my number two. Number two. Which is the 2000s. That was third on my list. Now the draft begins.

That was down at seven on my list. Yeah. What? He doesn't like technology. He wants good old. OK. No, I love technology. Yeah, I'm not going on. All right. Yeah the two thousands you know I graduated in. You love housing crises so that makes

sense. Oh if you like how to crisis get ready. Yeah we got a few. Yeah, the 2000s were were I mean I this is a little bit You know self centered in the sense that I loved The 2000s, you know, it was like it was a great time in my life. It's not it's like pretty self-centered. Yeah Yeah, I mean, obviously I can't personally love the 1900s, but what it wasn't there here here I'm gonna put you I'm gonna make you defend yourself a little bit. Okay. They're lower on my list. I don't know how low they were for Mike.

What's the vibe of the 2000s, the 2000 to 2010? That's the problem I had with it is I couldn't really, I couldn't wrap my head around like one iconic field. I think it's just because we're still so close to it. Yeah, that's true. That's fair. Which, for my next pick, we are closer to not taking the 2010s, baby!

That was, that's the worst, that's the lowest, that's the second lowest on my list. Oh, baby. Garbage. That should at least be the third lowest on your list. I mean 2010s, that's smartphone revolution. That's social media generation. Thank you for telling, exactly. My notes for the 2010s was social media, gross.

I think it's awful, worst period ever. I want my tech, I want my computers, I'm taking the 2000s and the 2010s. Gross. Terrible picks. All right, so I'm up. I have had a lifelong infatuation with just, and I get it, I didn't live back then

so I don't know all the terrible things. I like the fun stuff that the movies show me. And I really like the music and just the vibe. But I'm taking the 50s. Really? Yeah, man. Give me some poodle skirts. Give me the leather jackets and the greasers.

I didn't know that about you, Mike. I learned something, because that is- Diners. My notes for the 50s were cool cars, unlocked doors, staying outside all day, cokes and diners. That's what I'm talking about. And I said we looked good in the 50s. Yeah, and it's probably no surprise that both of us

love Back to the Futures, and I'm sure that has implanted a lot of my romanticizing what went on in the 50s. Which, to be clear, this draft is the romanticized version of every decade We recognize that there are horrors yes that have transpired during every year of our existence as humans, but The romanticized version of the past is the one that I think of it You know that is the baby boomer generation was the 50s. It's like the Don Draper time. That's what comes to my mind.

Yes. I feel like the 50s just sounded like, sounds fun. Well, so I'm up now? You are, you get two picks. I, the 50s were number four on my list. My number three was actually the 60s. All right. And space race, right?

We had space exploration beginning then, civil rights movement. Got the hippies. And you had the peace, love, rock and roll, Beatlemania. Yeah, you had Woodstock. Yeah, so I went with the 60s. It was called- Son of Sam, am I right?

Am I right? No? Yeah, yeah, there you go, thank you. Son of Sam, am I right? Everyone's getting, from this point in the draft, there's gonna be about three or four ignore that moments from your decade. So am I next?

Yeah, I believe so. I have two picks. You took the 60s, all right. This one is, look, there's a wart or two towards the end of it. Sure, but we are running out. Oh, I think I know where you're going. But what I'm actually going with is the 1920s.

Yeah, I think it's a great pick. That was my next pick. It's a great pick. The roaring 20s. Yeah. People wore suits and dresses. People forget, because I know 1929 wasn't great, but. The collapse of the stock market.

The only reason it could collapse is because it was roaring. Like people had money and it was good. Economically great. We gave, I mean we were even trying new things like Prohibition. We were like, hey let's give it a go. Let's see if it works. Yeah, it did not work. It did not, but we tried things. Great Gatsby's the 20s, right?

Yeah, F. Scott Fitzgerald. Leo DiCaprio, get out of here with your author. Yeah, yeah. No, that's a... Yeah, 20s parties look like they're a good time. Hemingway, Hemingway was 20s. Yeah, 20s were... So you guys both, women's right to vote?

What's your favorite Hemingway work? Uh, I didn't... Hmm. Well, I had too many to choose from, if I'm honest. Women's right to vote? What's your favorite Hemingway work? Well, I had too many to choose from, if I'm honest. This ain't a book show. I celebrate his whole catalog. What's yours, Mike? I didn't bring him up. The old man in the sea. That's one, right?

I have no idea. Yeah, probably. Could be. Oh, you Googled. 20s and the 60s. So I have the 80s, the 60s, and the 20s. And I'm going to get stuck with some junk on the next pick. Oh, yes, you are.

I was hoping that one of those would come back to me. I feel like we are on the countdown to doom. We are. So what are you going with? I'm curious. Oh, I'm taking the 70s. Yeah, that's not fair. The 70s are the last one left.

70s have got some really good things. You got disco. Yeah, I mean, my base. Into Vietnam. Yeah. It was over. Yeah, that part's good. Vietnam. Yeah, it was over Yep, that part's good the house interior shag carpet I'm everything for me on on decades is music so okay like you I mean a lot of what is you know? What we called classic rock except I think our music is now called classic rock

But classic rock I've got no problems with disco. Watergate? It's a good time, yeah. Rrrr. Rrrr. There you go. Also Star Wars, Jaws. Oh.

Both of those are 70s. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, so, but yeah. He doesn't love a great scandal. Here we go. Jason, which picks? Jason gets two of them.

He already picked the worst picked the second worst one. Can I pick the 2020s? Can we go? All right, I know my first one. My first one's great. It's the exact opposite of what I picked with. This is going to be really fun in a minute. It's 1900s.

OK, good. We're going where there's still a little bit of Wild West. There's still people riding around on horses You know we're going all the way back. It's the turn of the century Were they doing horses in the 1900s? Yeah, of course, absolutely The 19 early 1900s boys that was uh, Teddy Yes, Teddy Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah, Teddy and look I

Did not realize this like did you know that Teddy got in because of an assassination? What do you mean? No, I didn't know that. What are you talking about? He wasn't voted in? The first time, when he got to take over, I'm pretty sure. Let me see. Was he the assassinator?

Oh, come on. No, that was LBJ in the 60s. Someone confirmed that. Yeah. I mean, we don't try to be too accurate here, but... I gotta find it again. I didn't. I'd never heard that at all.

Hold on. I don't even know what it was. I see that he won the Electoral College. I think he got re-elected. Maybe he assassinated the vote. Who was it? McKinley. Following the assassination of his predecessor, William McKinley.

Yeah. Well, I'll be darned. Yes. Then he won re done any one reelection exactly because he was so cool on that horse and was he in the 1900s? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you didn't even know you were drafting some Teddy. I didn't know I got a right right right brothers the model T Theory of Relativity Great pick Jason now. What is that a kid? E equals MC square. No, I mean like tease it out little oh well. We'll have another Jason. Yeah, okay all right Give me a heart attack. I don't want it okay so

So now next I get another decade mm Mm-hmm. The 90s are gone The 2000s are gone. The 80s are gone. The 10s are gone. The 70s the 20s the 60s The 50s are gone. Oh my goodness Well, I mean there are three decades there are would you like to know them? They're the 1930s They're the 1910s of the 1940s. Yeah, you got it. We got a lot of wars going on in those decades. What's your favorite war? We'll save that for another draft.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh goodness gracious. Next time on the final spitballers episode. Oh I have to draft one of these 10s 30s or 40s. You're struggling. There's one wrong answer. That's Goodness I'm gonna go with the 1930s go with the 1930s. That's the wrong answer! That's not the wrong answer! Oh yeah! Oh the 30s is the- That's the depression pretty much. Yeah the Great Depression. Oh that is the Great Depression. That's a good pick. No, no, no, no, you are not taking back the depression. I was just thinking the World War I and World War II. Don't worry. They're not, they're sandwiched. You also have the Dust Bowl. Yeah, dude, that was, I, there's just nothing good

in the 30s. The creation of social, social security. I'll be honest, I had the 30s rated higher than I did the 40s. No, yeah, the 40s are World War II. Yeah. Yeah, but World War II, then turned things around. You were able to get the economy jump started again. So you're taking those? Yeah, I'll take the 40s.

It's not the, and my tagline is, it's not the 30s. That's the tagline? Yeah, that's my big sub. So that means I end up with the final pick, which is the 1910s? Sure. World War I. So I get World War I and the mustard gas. My notes on the 1910s.

World War I, dot, dot, dot. Not great. Dot, dot, dot. First transatlantic flight, I figured that out. That happened in the 1910s. We have the women's. And insulin. The women's suffrage movement was the 10s.

Yeah. Wait, when did? Well, I think the 20s, actually, they got the right to vote. But they started the movement in the 10s, yeah. No, 19th Amendment in 1919. And also, I'm seeing general relativity in 1915. Oh, I'm taking it. I'm taking it. I'm taking it.

I'm taking it. Just kidding about that. You don't get that. All I know is the world wars went last and second to last as they should have. You're welcome for me taking on the bad economic times of the 30s. Yeah. Yeah. I think you would have rather lived during the wars if you weren't fighting in them.

If you weren't fighting them. We were talking about it because I was like, OK, give me some information here on these old decades. Dude, one in four people couldn't find work. One in four during the, like, imagine, like, imagine it. One in four people. Yeah, I know it's not what I'm actually able can't fight like that's that's unbelievably horrific I also got stuck with good pick Jay. I got stuck with the Spanish flu though. Oh and that was

Only five was that only 500 million people died We got to get away. That was 1918 1990. Oh get away from that The tens were tough. You were in World War dying or you were getting Spanish flu and dying. I feel like you partied hard for about almost 10 years. Do we have a pandemic draft coming? My position in this draft was horrific because you guys got the two cool ones right up at the top and then you emptied it out with the 70s of the next tier. So I didn't even get me the top tier, and then I got two of the garbage. On my own rankings, which I know you disregard, but on my own, Jason, you drafted the 7th, 11th, 8th, and 9th. Yes, so 7, 8, 9, 11? Yeah. And did you get the, you got the third, and ninth.

Yes, so seven, eight, nine, 11? Yeah. Well done. Yeah, I had 2010s is still in the, before everything went terrible, but it was just above the 70s. Before everything went, the 2010s? Yeah.

Oh, as in like picks before you were picking bad, bad decades? Mm-hmm. Well, that's wild, that's wild. I feel like we learned a little bit. Kids, learn your history, because this is wild stuff going on out there. It is, it is crazy.

So I have the 80s, 60s, 20s, and 10s, Mike the 90s, 50s, 70s, and 40s, that's a good group. And Jason has some other decades. The other one. I'm gonna lose at the drive. He has the other ones, folks. Here's the thing, I don't think our demo is really big

with people who like lived through that time. So I think your 2000s will do okay. That's right, they're good times. Yeah, I would've guessed that there's some listeners that born in the aughts and Some have a basically like we were born in the 80s, but we remember the 90s. Yes So if you're born in the aughts you remember the 2010s. I wish we could find out what like what's the oldest person that listens to? the show

Let's let us know. They don't know how to contact Can we give them a mailing address? Oh my gosh. Send your postage mail. We get, we have an older person that coaches one of my son's teams. Okay. And he has to communicate with all the parents. But you would think, you know, you just send an email to the parents. But every email is a blank email with a Word doc attached. And the Word doc is written like a letter. No. To whom it may concern. I mean not quite like that. Not with a sincerely best. But you open the doc to read the email

that comes in the email. It was pretty funny, it was pretty funny. How old is this person? 70s, 70s. Like they were around for the invention of the sport? You know what? Possibly, but yeah, yeah, they wouldn't. If you're really old and you know technology let us know yeah apparently Jason would like to

I'm not worried that I'm gonna get a whole I don't think it was getting hold of me What did we learn today oh man the early 1900s some stuff went down I learned that I am outhouse proof. And that's the way I want to think of my weight. I was going to say, that's a. This is protection. Yeah.

Try stuffing me down in outhouse. It's not going to happen. You'll fail. I guess I learned that relativity was in the tins. Yeah? Didn't know that, so. Deucers, favorite decade, go. 60s.

80s. 80s. All right. Guess I made an OK pick. 90s. Yeah, all right. Take care. Catch you next time.

Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.