Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Pepper Pupdates & The Best Flavorss - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: July 3, 2025

Spit Hit for July 3rd, 2025:On this episode, we will catch you up on Jason’s mischievous dog saga. We also discuss ninja smoke bombs and becoming the best negotiator. Lastly, we close it down with another edition of Ballerdash and a draft of the best flavors. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. I'll be a doodly-doo Banana Yes, I did And to be clear that was just one banana one banana doodly-doo dude that is! Which is my new phrase I've been working on, that's so banana. You were like- It's like that's so Raven. That's so banana? Yeah. I feel like you use that phrase when something is wacky, but it's not too wacky. Right, it's just a little banana. That thing just went a little banana. Wow, I loved it.

Turns out giving Jason more than five seconds of warning ends up with a doodly-doo. And it was melodic. How much of that was premeditated? The banana. The banana? The banana. The banana.

We got a draft on today's show that I think it'll apply. But then you got to the end of spelling banana and then then just then I Welcome into the spitballers episode 264 Jason will have the first pick in that draft. We are drafting the best flavors later. That's the spoiler now That puts Jason in quite the predicament because everyone knows that Jason loves the banana flavor And so do I take it first does he take it or do I play the game and let you guys take my? precious banana Yeah, I you know it's the risk in life. Don't let someone take your banana, and I I just think

We may be tempted to ruin Mike my core foundational rules my core foundational rules. Right, don't, you hold your own banana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do have an update. Jason, episode 258, six episodes ago, kinda had an on-air therapy session on accident. Oh yeah, this is great, what a great update. And he spoke ill of- Truth, I spoke true of of pepper his puppy pepper

the pooping puppy oh the peeing dog right how old is the dog it's a year and a half I consider any dog that's still puppy younger than three years a puppy that she's she's two and a half and any dog and any dog that is small is also stays puppy Okay, that's what I'm saying. That's fair a puppy of size and age either one. Yeah, but the peeing and pooping pepper puppy Predicament yes that you had brought up on the show that was so banana. What you just did there Anyways, go on we pepper, I understand, has a new loving home and someone that loves Pepper.

Yes, I found, I was like, how could I get rid of this dog? I found the stupidest person I know. And- Tricked them. Tricked them. And here's the- Payed them. The best part about this is they are aware of my rant on this awful dog because they produced this show.

It's Al Borland. Don't you speak ill of my dog like that. Yeah that's his dog now. That is your dog. I'm so happy for you. What a sweetheart. Now he's a great dog. Here's the best part in my opinion. Al you've had the dog approximately how long? Three days or so. About three days, you've had the dog approximately how long? Three days or so. About three days? Yeah. And the dog that pees and poops everywhere, how much has this dog evacuated in your house?

The night we brought her home, she had a poopy accident. And we've been accident-free since then. Hmm. Yeah. Hmm. Huh. Dude, if you put, like I'm, wait, wait, wait. So are you saying? Huh. I'm not saying anything. That I'm the reason she pees and poops.

I'm not saying anything. Now to be fair, at our house we lock her inside. So it's like. She doesn't have a choice. But you expect it. You're saying that's my fault? I'm saying that during the rant, I think the phrase was, we've tried everything. Well, we just tried the final thing, which is get rid of her. I know, I was, we've tried everything. Well, we just tried the final thing, which is get rid of her. I know, no, but you tried everything. It worked.

And then owls on it. I don't know, I mean, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, it's tough to jump to conclusions. Yeah, it's really, the sample size is not big enough. So peppers with? That's great. Owl. Yeah.

And that's normally a dangerous thing for a dog that size but this is a safe friendly owl and he will not harm I see this small I think you do whatever he wants Brooks you said that Jason looks extra rested and confident. Yeah, look at him. I mean, new man. I don't think that scat could have happened with Pepper. I'm a happy man.

I'm able to put rugs out in my house. What if, what if? What if it's not Pepper? What if the poop was still there? Oh, no. And it's not ever been. I'm out of my room. And no, no, no.

This is the. It's never been Pepper. I mean, it's three days. room and no no no this is never been pepper. I mean it's Three days you've had one accident. I've had zero accidents in my house in the last three days So I don't know who's the problem sounds like it's Jeremy now. Oh man, okay? Thank you for joining us. We're gonna kick this off. We do have a special game today, but first we'll do some would you rather? Would you rather. The pepper saga is just, it's very funny.

I can't wait for the next chapter. I was going to say check back next week and we'll see whose house is she living at. Would you rather, Arnold from Twitter says would you rather be able to turn invisible in all awkward social situations? So you know, that's like a smoke bomb. Whenever you want or be able to create a clone of yourself for one hour each day. Okay. So wait, that in theory, that clone could be used for the awkward situation. It could stand there and listen to and uh, you know, Thanksgiving is approaching.

Yeah, Aunt Esther will tell you the story of her new juniper flowers. You don't have to listen. The clone can listen. I was laughing while you were reading this. So, we all run a business. We are often at conferences and things like that for the football job. And so I've been to many, many different conferences

with these guys. And this is one of my favorite things is we get in. Oh, you do it all the time. And I'm really good at it. You're super good at it. Now it's a real problem, because you're looking for opportunities. Because if you've listened for any length of time, ridiculous small talk is just one of the things I hate the most in life.

And so we'll be in a conversation, and I'll size it up real quick. Does this conversation have any value? Can I be, should I be a part of it? And if the answer is no to either of those, I literally, I just, I smoke bomb these guys. I just slink away into the shadows and before anyone has realized what has happened, that part of the circle has closed and I am no longer there and these guys are less.

But we're still stuck talking. These guys are in conversations with people that they don't want to talk to but they're too polite. Like Andy would just ride this conversation out for an hour. Oh yeah. Meanwhile I'm off having Margarita's on the beach and we'll look I'm out of here man. Turn around and Mike is he's gone. I have added a new wrinkle to the game where I actually Verbal verbally say smokebomb Like just enough so like earshot of Jason can hear it he's like, oh no, he's doing it again and I'm out I feel like I'm being trained up a little bit in this like I'm learning from you a little I'm usually the next one

in this, like I'm learning from you a little. I'm usually the next one on. Yeah, I'm the one that's alone. Andy is left there. I want to get to your level. It's the best. I wanna get to your level where we can both smoke bomb at the exact same moment and be like, oh, this is. I got some ideas.

Oh, all right, we're gonna have to work on this. I genuinely, I have a problem. I have a problem because I am always willing to get new conversation with anybody. But I always get to the point of those conversations where I wish I hadn't have done that. Yeah. You know like you get there. Like how do I get out? Like I wish I had a little like maybe a visible timer on my chest that I could turn to 15 minutes. I'll have a 15 minute or you can tell me anything you want.

But as soon as this alarm goes off. It's like, I'm sorry, I have to leave now. Dude, that is a long timer. Yeah. I mean, I wondered what you were going to say when you're like, I knew right where you're going. A timer on your chest. You just thought it'd be lower. I thought it'd be like three minutes. Three minutes is not my timeline. I will give anyone three minutes after three minutes. By the time you hit five, I'm like, if there's not purpose. Like I love talking to people when there's purpose. If it's just like, we're still doing, we're still talking.

We're still here, huh? We're still doing this, huh? I got nothing to say to you. You got nothing to say to me. I don't wanna be here at all. I have found, you wanna know something I have found? I am so incredibly anti-social now. You are?

I hate. Yes. No, that's not something to be proud of. Good. Good. Like the hate flow. Dude, I- I think that's two things.

That's two things? I think two things contribute to that. Oh, okay. I mean, do you know why? No. Okay, so do you think any of it had to do, I mean it's 2023, almost the end of it, almost 2024.

There was a very antisocial part of our lives. The pandemic? The pandemic, COVID period. So I wonder how many people got used to different patterns. How glorious it was. Okay, so maybe he was already there. And I genuinely think the other part is getting older. Oh, for sure.

For sure part of it is getting older. I'm just like, I don't want to deal with people ever. Ever. Yes. Not like... Sometimes. Sometimes. Ever.

Like, my wife is so social, she always wants to do these events and I'm always... She's an inviter. Oh, yes she is. She'll bring them into the house and it's one warn her about vampires right the rule like they have to be invited in oh yeah that won't stop her yeah anyone could be a vampire so but I have found that I just absolutely always want to say no I'm not allowed to always say no. You know, but I don't, I don't always, my answer's always.

You would want to say. Always. Not, not often, always. Wow, he has become. It's 100%. Yeah. A hermit. Yeah, there we go.

And so when I, like when you read this and it was like, okay, here you could vanish, right? The question, I could turn invisible from awkward social situations. I already do that with the bathroom. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? You do bathroom social situations?

Oh yeah, oh for sure, for sure. Sometimes I just can't handle it. You know what, you're in the bathroom a lot here at work. It's just to escape. No, but it's one of those things where it's like you can't stay away. So even if you're invisible in the awkward social situation, you still have to come back. People will say, where is Mike? He has vanished from this circle.

And we will wonder. And I feel the obligation to always come back. So when this question continued and said- So that's where you go, oh, Mike, you're right. I'm going to go check on him. I'm going to make sure that he's OK. Yes, thank you. But if I could get a clone of myself for an hour

and just get an hour break in these social situations where I'm not being rude, because I don't want to be rude. And you're not in the bathroom. You can use the bathroom later. Exactly. I'm clone all the way, baby. I do appreciate, like like if I'm in those situations. I like to be the helper I feel like if I'm taking the trash out or I'm running the errand then I can avoid oh yeah The social put me to work owl is sharing. Oh boy. I want a story of you smoke bombed him and his wife

And tell us what happened so it says here Jason smoke bombed him and his wife and Tell us what happened. So it says here Jason smoke bombed us So Jeremy and his his wife were at Jason's house and you must have vanished and then they found you an hour later with the CPAP mask on sleeping He said he accidentally fell asleep But he had his seat belt mask. Oh, I fell over and then my seat belt just if it lodged on my face. Oh You got you got completely well we all thought he went to the bathroom and we're waiting and waiting and Then finally tiff his wife went in to check on him and he was passed out with a mascot

so dude to be fair oh my gosh he was in his onesie in his full PJs yeah got changed with the mascot so to be fair I did fall asleep on accident like I laid down I fell asleep but then I couldn't sleep because I need a seat but then I couldn't sleep

because I need a seat back. So I was just like throwing this thing on. Oh, man. So yes and no. I did accidentally fall asleep, but then I purposely put the mask on. Yeah, OK. Well, that is, so what's your final answer?

You want the clone? I want the clone. The hour's not a lot, but it's nice. It's enough. Are you worried about, like, does the clone, do you get caught up on the information? Oh, I don the clone. The hour's not a lot, but it's nice. It's enough. Are you worried about, like, does the clone, do you get caught up on the information? Oh, I don't care. I don't remember the information when I was there.

I thought you were gonna say what happens to the clone at the end. And I assumed that it would just fall over dead. Yeah, yeah, it just starts melting. Just decaying. It's biodegradable. Yeah, the clone has a heart attack at the end of its hour every day.

Invisible and awkward situations and smoke bombing, I wouldn't be able to do it. The social pressures of being on the other part of the conversation, I can't leave you. I would do that one as like. I'll take the clone. If there is a real smoke bomb goes off. That is Mike's last resort. He will throw a smoke bomb, a real smoke bomb goes off. That is Mike's last resort.

He will throw a smoke bomb, a real one. Not just, oh, I slunk away into the shadows. There's no accident. OK. Vanished. Genuine question. Starts coughing. Genuine question.

Are smoke bombs something you can actually buy? I don't know. Like legit, the ones you throw on the ground and it's gonna make a big enough plume to disappear behind. I just don't know if those are- It might be frowned upon in like a public setting. Well so that was my next thought was- Like illegal.

But right, is it allowed, is it illegal, is it legal? Just put a nice fragrance in there and people will be fine with it. You know, it's funny, because you do a smoke bomb, like eventually they see the man running away. After the smoke dissipates and there's a guy about 40 yards away running, Mike's screaming, I got him again! I would just love for you at one of these conferences

to actually bring a real smoke bomb. And in one of these situations, when you're in that circle, you know, there's like six people to the circle and I want you to just reach in your pocket and grab this thing out. You say smoke bomb and you throw it down. It's gonna be awesome. Yeah. I was thinking about it just going like, oh, boring. Even better. All right, so double clones. I was thinking about it, just going like, oh, boring. Even better.

All right, so double clones. I'm doing clone. Yeah, we're all doing clone. Brody from the website, would you rather have the ability to learn a new skill in a day or be able to teach any skill you have to others in a day? The first one, guys. The first one.

Look, I know that. I mean, if someone walks up to you today Jason goes teach me everything, you know, I In a day. Yeah, you might be able to do that right now Yeah In general, you know do unto others as you would have done unto you. You want to be a giver, not a taker. But if you're telling me I get to learn something or somebody else gets to learn something, why would I ever choose?

I just genuinely, I made the joke about you, but I don't feel like I know enough That I'm like I wish I could give to somebody in one day. Maybe I'm maybe that's not true But I guess when you say a skill like I don't have a skill I feel like I could like teach you in a day like what be a mediocre pickleball player Okay, and one day. No, it's like you you could you have pretty solid Photoshop skills or SEO. Yeah, and like marketing stuff. Like we do a lot of work in Google Sheets, you know, like teach someone how to do that in a day.

I mean, we have- That's so boring. It seems like if I was like a master pianist, that'd be cool. Right, at least Mike, you can play instruments. So if you could teach me how to, like that's a skill that is- That'd be cool.

Yeah, it's cool. Like an artist? To learn any new skill in a day, that would be a superpower. That's not just a superpower, that's like a really good superpower. You'd be the. What was that old TV show

where the guy kept pretending to be different professions because he was so smart? What, like a- Catch Me If You Can style? Like the man- Yeah, it was like- Or Talented Mr. Ripley? No, it was an old TV show

and the guy constantly posed as different professions because he was so smart. He knew them all. I thought somebody might remember. I'll look it up, but- It sounds sort of familiar. I'm just saying, you're right, it's a superpower. The pretender? It is the pretender. So the guy that pretends. Yeah, yeah, that would be I'm just saying you're right. It's a superpower. It's the pretender. It is the pretender

So the guy that pretends yeah He's always pretending like he's someone else did you Google that or did you remember it I googled it Yeah, that shows me you have you had the key word of man. I did man who pretends I did Yeah, that that's an old joke. 365 skills a year. Yeah, I mean, I don't think that there's 365 skills I really wanna learn. Oh, man.

You would figure, you'd be like, yeah, today it's skiing. Dude, fly a helicopter. Yeah, tomorrow? That's awesome. I'm throwing a javelin better than everybody. Yeah, I mean, I see what you're saying, but like, I don't have a helicopter. Or a javelin better than everybody. Yeah. I mean I see what you're saying, but like I don't have a helicopter

Or a jet. Teach me how to build one! Yeah, so yeah there you go So wait you're saying the thing stopping me from building a helicopter right now is simply the skill It's to be able to pull that off. It is the biggest one. And then the next day you learn the skill of sourcing material I mean again, I want to learn the skills. I want to speak all these languages, play all these instruments, et cetera, et cetera. And I don't really want to teach anybody anything. So this is like-

Because of the hating of people. Right. Social settings. Yeah. Jenny from Patreon, would you rather have the skill to resolve any dispute peacefully or the ability to negotiate and get the best deal in any situation? oh Hmm. I can't help but Instantaneously want the first one for my children

Because the disputes between the children are relentless I Mean, but they all at the end of the day, they all pretty much end peacefully. I can resolve all those disputes. Just not peacefully? Just not necessarily peacefully. See, you're keeping this pretty close to home. I'm sitting here thinking like, I can resolve any dispute. This is world peace.

Oh, you're thinking selflessly. I'm thinking like, there's wars going on that I can resolve peacefully? How do you not take that? Or you get the money. Right. Thank you, Mike. Call me in. One billion dollars and I will end this war.

You're like a mercenary. I am a mercenary of peace. A mercenary of peace oh man yeah I'm an arms dealer in peace but I mean you could the other one is you could go to any of those countries get the best deal on you know weapons like but winning it winning a negotiation feels so great.

But are you really, what other than a car are you thinking of right now? I mean, that was all I thought of. I know, what other situation do you think is the best deal? But the point being, I've had the one experience where my grandpa's a car guy. He worked in cars, so he knew all the tricks,

and whenever the family would be in the market for a car Grandpa would help out because he always got everyone a great deal and he had like this one dealership He's like no you it just doesn't work like they won't they don't budge. Yeah, they won't budge. They won't work with you and then just I went and I tried my hand I got like a and then just I went and I tried my hand and I got like a Smoking deal, you know where it's like under invoice and all this stuff and my grandpa was like how how did you do it? I was like, yeah who like who's the negotiator now? It felt good. Yeah. Oh, it felt great But other than cars, what do we barter with anymore? Nobody even like I mean we do fantasy football trades. Oh

Does that count here? Yes, it's a negotiation the best deal. Oh my goodness Then I would just be trading every single day if I win every deal just to be clear World peace. Yeah, or you win a few fantasy deals Look, I don't even know how to get to some of these countries I think I think I got to take the the deal and win my championships, you know? Ah, that's, we got back to where we thought we'd be. Any other thoughts, Mike? Nope.

["Game Time"] What time is it? Game time. Huh. All right, it's game time. Thank you. We are playing another edition of Baller Dash, totally made-up game we invented. It's called Baller Dash. Sweeping the

nation. And if you're confused at how you play it, because you've never heard of a game such as this, here's how you play it. We've been given five different prompts from five different categories before the show. And we gave Al our answers. And so it will be our job to identify the correct answers in each category and to trick one another into picking our fake answers. Now Jason's smirking because he's either proud

or embarrassed of the answers he provided. Yeah, I guess TBD. Your answers were great last time. Thank you. So I hope they're on par. Your answers were great last time. Thank you. I hope they're on par. So two points if you get the right one. One point if you get one of each other, or if we get one of each other to guess our answer.

Yes. We trick them. Sorry. I explained that OK, Al? Whoops, missed the button. Yeah, you did great. All right, so five rounds. I plan to win.

I think I won the first one, didn't I? Probably. Don't recall. I guess I assume I won. Pretty sure I won. I remember I lost. All right. Pretty heavily.

So those categories are definition, notable person, acronym, movie plot, and weird laws. Okay, so let's get it going. We're gonna start with the definition. The word is flues, F-L-E-W-S, flues. Flues. Does that word mean the upper lip flaps on certain dog breeds?

Lip flaps. Lip flaps, okay. The interior hardware necessary for a functioning wood-burning stove. Okay. The fins of a boat propeller. Okay. Or a carpentry tool used for smoothing wooden surfaces.

These games are ridiculous. All right, so lip flaps on certain dogs Something about an award wood-burning stove. Mm-hmm fins that was the fins on a propeller on a propeller on a boat propeller propeller and then a Carpentry something what's the last tool used for something wooden surfaces? And we have to we just each lock them in right? Yeah, we each lock. I'm gonna. I'm going I'm going with the carpentry one. I'm going lip flaps. I'm going carpentry All right, you guys both pick Jason's answer

Pick the correct answer Four points and I can pick Andy's answer, which is the fins on the boat. Nope. That's my, oh darn. Yeah. What? Mine was the, uh, the wood burning stove one. The flu? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I knew that one was. Yeah, that's some crap. I didn't know you were smart enough to know what a real flu was. Dang it. Yeah. You got four points. I think the game's done. He did get four points. No, it's catching him. All right. What's funny is when Andy turned his definition into me,

it actually was the interior hardware necessary for a wooden stove, a functioning wooden stove. Oh, I meant wood burning. I figured that's what you meant. Thanks for fixing that. I changed that for you. A wooden stove. I don't think a wooden stove would work out too well.

No. It's a one-time use. You got my disposable stove? Fire pit? That's so banana. All right, we're going to move on. Wow, what a round for Jason. Notable person.

And this notable person is Chester Greenwood. Chester Greenwood. Oh, I remember him. Was Chester known for being a philanthropic businessman from the 1930s who launched Greenwood Capital? Was he known for setting a world record for the most speeches given in a single year? Was he known for inventing the ear muff or was he known for inventing the rapid-fire cannon? Rapid-fire cannon? Chester Greenwood. Crap. Chester Greenwood. Crap.

So the business guy, most speeches, earmuffs, cannon. Greenwood Capital, eh? World record for most speeches in a year? Or inventor of earmuffs or rapid fire cannons. Crap. I guess we have to take turns going first. So Jason, you go. I'm going to go Rapid Fire Cannons, because that's

so stupid. I'm doing that too. I'm going to go most speeches. All right. Jason and Andy, you picked Mike's answer. Oh, the Rapid Fire Cannon. Mike, you picked Andy's answer. Yeah.

Yeah, so many speeches in one year. What a stupid world record. So he invented the earmuffs? Everybody knows that Chester Greenwood is the guy that invented the earmuff. Wow. Or he just marketed a good earmuff. Like, what? When people went outside and they went went oh, it's really cold

Let me put something on my he's the only one that thought let me cover my ears Right Wow okay, so Jason Jason has four points that is correct Mike has two and he has one Sorry, it's a kept Jason off of the board there So we're gonna move over to the acronym and that acronym is I JA Okay, does that acronym is IJA. Okay. Does that acronym stand for irregular jewel alignment? What? Englewood juvenile artists, Institute of Journalism and Arts,

or International Jugglers Association. Oh man. Oh man. The problem is I don't know. People are crazy. Okay, read those those again. Yeah one more time slowly. Irregular jewel alignment Englewood juvenile artists Institute of Journalism and Arts International Jugglers Association

Yeah, Andy's first this time. I'm taking the juggler one. I feel dumb, but I'm doing it. I am also dumb I'm gonna take the juggler. Yeah, that's three dumb. Oh, let's juggle. That's three smart people Yeah, I got the right answer there because it's it was so dumb that I feel like none of us would Would have that's disappointed that what was the second leader in the clubhouse for you second leader in the clubhouse for me would have that's disappointed that what was the second leader in the clubhouse for you? second leader in the clubhouse for me would have been the The weird jewel alignment. Yeah, because it was again weird. I'll take that as a bonus point. Yeah I did the Journalism one. What was yours? Jay? Mine was in good wood. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right

So we all we did was gain points but it was a wash in total. So we're gonna move on to the movie plot and the movie title is Lookout Sister. Look out sister. These are tough cuz you gotta read the plot so. That is correct. Look out sister the languishing at the bottom of her class at Catholic school, Lucy Hardgrave vows to prove her doubters wrong and become the most prestigious nun candidate the church has ever seen. That's really long.

Or Making a note. A bank robber and his sister, the unsuspecting getaway driver, navigate their way out of trouble. Okay, so they will yell look out. Look out! Okay, so they will yell look out look out okay, or a Western tale about a guy who saves a dude ranch from being taken over by the bank Okay, okay dude ranch all right and lastly a nun witnesses a mob hit and is reluctantly thrust into witness protection

There's two two nun ones, is that right? Yeah. There's the nun one about the Catholic school. Probably because of the word sister. Ah, sister sister, got it. No, nope, nope. That was twins separated at birth. Like Sister Mary.

Yeah, there you go. Nun candidate, there's the bank robber one, there's the western tail of the dude ranch, and then there's a none mob hit. Look out sister. Oh, I'm first. Oh my gosh. What was the second plot?

A bank robber and his sister, the unsuspecting getaway driver, navigate their way out of trouble. Great. I'm going, it makes no sense, so it makes sense. Going with the Dude Ranch one. Okay. I'm going with the Dude Ranch one as well.

Oh man, did we get any two points? Let's find out. I'm worried that Jason would answer his own answer in order to try to trick people into answering. That's next level. I think that there's a chance he would do that. I'm going to go with the bank robber plot. You fell right into Jason's trap.

You picked his answer. Oh my gosh. Thank you. And the other two picked the right answer. Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes. I'm on fire. Dude. But you would do that though. Oh for sure. Yeah. You know I've considered it. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. Jay you're

doing fantastic. Alright so that puts the score what like eight six three. Yep. That's where we are. And final round and there's no bonuses here right. That is correct. So Andy is out. I'm in trumps. All right, we're moving on to weird laws. And this one is, in Burns, Oregon, a horse may not enter a bar, a tavern without paying a cover charge, a saloon without a saddle, Oh my goodness.

or any cathedral or building with a vaulted ceiling. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. I'll go first here since I am in the lead and could just answer whatever Mike answers so that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's also your turn. And I'll go first. Out of the rules. Yeah. I'm gonna go with the cathedral. Is that the vaulted ceiling one? Yeah, lock in the tall ceilings. Those scare horses. I'll do the saloon one and I will go... Oh. The tavern. All right, Mike, you got the correct answer. Yes! A tavern all right Mike you got the correct answer yes a tavern without paying a cover charge yes oh my Andy you picked Mike Mike's answer yes Mike you

picked Andy's answer Jason picked Andy's answer I'm sorry I'm sorry oh Jason picked Andy's answer yeah okay so okay. So wait, wait, wait So no one picked Jason Mike one. I won. Yeah Mike had no Jason had eight and he had for this game is rigged. That's why I was celebrating guys So banana, I come back Mike wins baller. Oh, in the first round. Oh man. Down goes Frasier. Pretty nice. Mike is really happy. Jason was like being all mature and everything and like making sure he went first. So he didn't protect his answer. Yeah. Cause I already won. Wow. He'll never do that again. You did not win.

All right, we are drafting. The Spitballers Draft. Well, well, well, fresh off that defeat, Jason has the first pick in our Ballers Draft of Best Flavors. Delicious. We'll see how banana he gets with his selections. Well, you guys know that I love that flavor. And you know I love to win games and polls and play games.

From your performance about five minutes ago, I don't know that's true. Want to is different. Okay, okay, okay. So all that being said, I am gonna play the game and I'm gonna take Strawberry as the 101 because to me Strawberry is like I would I like a strawberry flavor. I love strawberry ice cream I like strawberry candy like strawberry yogurt strawberry is like one of the most

universally Loved delicious flavors to me I understand the pick because I've seen all the products that are sold strawberry flavored. It's not my favorite flavor I'm always mad when I see that I want it to be different flavors with you open up a let's just say Starburst or whatever and there's a bunch of different colors. What color is always the best? The red one. You're wanting to say red, but that's the cherry. I like the cherry. Maybe, I mean the red and the pink. Yeah, pink is strawberry.

Yeah, pink is better. No, I understand. Strawberry is a lower tier good choice. Yes. For me, for me. For most people, I think you made the right choice. My first pick, I'm going to go with, I'm gonna go with mint.

Oh, that's a good. Interesting. I'm gonna go with the flavor mint. I've a good. I'm gonna go with the flavor mint. I've got other sweet-sy flavors I can take later on. Interesting. But I'm gonna go with mint. People like, look, what's bad? Mint Oreos, delicious. Yeah.

Amazing. Peppermint flavored stuff, that's a good time. No, mint is a really good thing because I think it's a little bit more versatile. Good luck with your toothpaste without it. I mean, you're gonna be in the strawberry town. Ooh who I'd love some strawberry toothpaste. It's too sweet like obviously What is the connection of? Mint and peppermint what would be the difference is it just that way is one red and white?

No, they're the same thing they come from mint leaves I know but I'm saying what what makes it a pepper. Yeah, what it makes something peppermint I think you put makes it a pepper. Yeah, what it makes something peppermint. Thank you put pepper Peppermint is just a little miss someone look this up on it. But if it's just another why not just call it mint Because why the fancy peppermint? I think that peppermint must be the name of the candy made out of mint. That's my guess Okay, that's my submission to the world. A peppermint is a... Jay, you finding anything?

I am, but it's like absurd. It's like peppermint, mentha, perita, which is derived from spearmint, contains more than 30% menthol, and up to 0.2% carvone, carvone? Sometimes we'll have Al figure out these answers. Okay. All right, so.

Mike, you're up. Two picks. Mint was. Banana on the table. Mint was very high on my list. I'm gonna start it off with chocolate. I think that that's just a good, it covers a lot of your different bases and. How many things are chocolate flavored though? Like obviously chocolate is. A lot.

A lot of things. But I guess I was thinking like chocolate ice cream, obviously. Yeah, chocolate milkshake. I guess I was thinking chocolate ice cream, obviously. Yeah, chocolate milkshake. Okay, that's different than ice cream? Yeah, I mean even Hershey's syrup, is that chocolate flavored? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Okay, milk. All right, I'm seeing a lot more chocolate things now. Okay, just open your eyes, you'll see chocolate everywhere, man. And then I'm just gonna to go with a heart pick. I don't even know if this would make your guys as topless,

but it is grape. Grape. Wow. Grape flavor is elite. Niche. Oh, that's fine. I told you, I'm going with a heart pick here. It's funny, because like if it's like grape sodas,

when you have like snow cones. Oh you love grape. Oh grape. Do you actively are you the guy that actively buys the grape sodas at the store? No no to keep my sugars down. Okay. But yeah but just grape purple grape flavoring is so good. Oh that see you said purple grape. It was funny. We got some. Yeah, well, because grape is purple. We got some of the, like some, it's not Gatorade,

but the electrolyte powder. Sure. And it came in like lemon lime. And it came in like berry. Yeah. And then there was one, and it's green grape. Green grape? I was like, that's the weirdest flavor.

No. No. And it was not appreciated by those that. Yeah, because it needs to be purple. So you want chocolate and grape. Yes. Which chocolate covered grapes? Sure, as long as they're purple.

My selection here is, I'm gonna, that sucks, Jason has two picks. Jason has two picks and I'm gonna take a gamble here, but I'm gonna go with vanilla. Yeah. I'm taking vanilla it's the you got to take it pure vanilla would have been good for your pole J dude winning your vanilla smells better than almost anything on the planet and vanilla is delicious so I will go with vanilla as my vanilla would never have made it back to you. No. First of all, to go along with strawberries, banana, which I mean, you're welcome.

Thank you, boys. You're welcome. Also, because I don't want anything banana flavored. So did you take banana? Yeah, I just took a banana. Banana is for sure my favorite of all the flavors. If there's a banana dessert, a banana candy. This is well known.

Do you feel like grape flavoring does not taste like grapes? No, no, no. I mean, I've been out of the banana game flavoring game so long, I don't even remember. Banana flavoring is perfect. It's delicious. And no banana tastes that good. You know what I mean? I've never met anybody who even like if you're a 10 out of 10 on the loving banana Flavoring scale. Mm-hmm. I've never been I've never even met somebody that's a six

What like you are out there man? Are you your people we are out there the bananas me and my banana people We love each other. Wow, so strawberry banana, now I will, if you gave me the choice of a strawberry smoothie or a strawberry banana smoothie, I'm going strawberry banana because you need both of them combined to even be one good flavor. Oh man. Well I don't know why you go to that strawberry. I'm sorry. Strawberry's great. You like strawberry? Oh yeah. I would take about ten other berries. Interesting. Okay, well. Over the strawberries? Yeah. If we did a berries draft, strawberry

would be down at the bottom. What? I take berry one. Give me raspberries. Give me blueberries. No. Over strawberries? Yeah, give me cherries.

Yeah. Cherries are cherries? Are cherries a berry? It doesn't say berry in the name. I don't think so. It's got a pit. Look, if you can put them next to each other in the Starburst container, you can. Oh, give me you can make if you can put them next to each other in the starburst container you can

You know, I'll be great. Yes grapes are a better berry lemons oranges berries All right, so I've got one more here cherry. It's a cherry's a fruit. Yeah, but like we got citrus a seed We got berries. What are cherries? It's a it's a it's a the people to know! It's a flowering apple-like product. Says they're stone fruits. Oh, there we go. Yeah, because it's got a pit. You looked up on the same website as Jason's mint thing. So like a peach is a stone fruit then?

And a plum? Wait, have you heard of this thing before, Mike? I believe so, yes. Heard of what? Stone fruit? I've heard the name, yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

Me too. So what's your second pick? I was just checking on you. I was surprised you would have heard of that. Um... So I was gonna go somewhere else. Um, but it was because you just said that you would rather have strawberry banana mixed together than just strawberry,

or probably just banana. Me too, like strawberry banana smooth together than just strawberry or probably just banana. Me too. Like strawberry banana smoothies are legit. Yogurts are great. But you know what else goes unbelievably wonderfully with banana? Peanut butter. And I am taking peanut butter flavor because you got peanut. Yeah yeah. Peanut butter banana is great. Peanut butter cookies. you got peanut. Yeah, you know about our banana. Yes great peanut butter cookies. I love peanut butter I I peanut butter chocolate. Hmm, you know, it's fair but the only thing about peanut butter that seems to be a problem at times is Sometimes you can't have as much of it as you'd want

The actual peanut butter. Well, yeah, or like even peanut butter cookies. I'm like if you give me chocolate chip cookies I can eat 20 if you gave me peanut butter cookies. I'm like if you give me chocolate chip cookies I can eat 20. If you give me peanut butter cookies I'm like two I'm good with two. Yeah but if you give me a bag of peanut butter M&M's. Yeah cuz there's chocolate. That bag is. Because there's chocolate mixed in. Okay so you're saying. But it's better than just regular M&M's. So you're saying that. Oh they are better than regular M&M's. Yes. Yeah, so you're in the mix. You're in the mixtures. Okay I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with mocha

Okay, which is chocolate and coffee, okay Okay, the flavor of chocolate and coffee together mocha. I thought about just going coffee Which somebody else could take but the truth is is it's chocolate coffee flavor Yeah cakes and in in anything that you would put that flavor into including chocolate coffee. That is delicious So I've always thought I don't like the flavor of mocha like genuinely don't like it. It's just not my cup of tea and A cup of coffee. It's not my cup of coffee And then we were doing a live show in LA I think this was two years ago or three years ago, something like that, and one of us ordered a mocha,

just a mocha, and I was like, I'll try that. I'll get a mocha. Dude, those are so good. Yeah. Apparently, I love mocha. You've been into mocha since then. Mocha's delicious. Yeah.

Yeah, the move, if you ever go up to like a, you're at a snack shop or something and it's wintery and cold out and they got hot chocolate and coffee, fiddy-fiddy that thing. Oh, fiddy-fiddy? Oh man, delicious. That's so banana. You're making your own mocha.

Yes, you are. Oh baby. It's fantastic. You're a genius. All right, so you took mocha and I get my final two? Yeah. All right, we're gonna try to go off the path a little bit here.

I'm gonna take cheese. Cheese flavoring. Cheese flavoring. Actually, that's a sneaky pick. When I first heard it, I thought you were... Like cheese crackers? There are so many things, or like chips. They put cheese flavored chips. Yeah, they put cheese flavored chips

Yeah, like you ever done. You know like that. Yeah the cheddar chips Yeah, I mean you can buy like rice cakes that are cheese cheddar cheese. I like the cheese and sour cream, right? Yeah, am I thinking about that? No, you're 100% cheddar and sour cheddar. Thank you. Yeah cheese flavor Yes, I look at that in the same category as your peanut butter pick sure I get it But you can't have cheese cookie Well, we're not picking best flavors for cookies Jason why just flavors That was your objection Cheese cookie, but I look I bet you could I'm gonna pivot to a to a non cookie flavor when it's my turn fair enough

And then I'll close it. They're all open. I'll close it with cherry Okay, so you're knowledge the great. Yes cherry flavoring when I was a wee lad It was can you make a cherry cookie? Yeah, yeah When I was young cherry was there was the only flavor I would eat. Do the kids still do fruit roll-ups these days? Yeah, they do. That's a sentence. I don't know if they're still eating fruit roll-ups.

Yeah, the whippersnappers are eating the roll-ups. But it was like, I would only eat the cherry ones. Any artificial flavoring, it had to be cherry But I mean it's since then thankfully I've grown up He said you do have kids so that might be you could look to them for the answers to your what are they? I'll text them you guys you guys still like fruit rubs. So you weren't cherry. That's a great pick. I Prefer raspberry to cherry. It's not my pick, but I'm just saying it out loud No, because I'm giving saying it out loud. No, it's just...

Because I'm giving raspberry the respect. We can all say stupid stuff on this show. That's the truth. Um... You want a cheese cookie? I'm gonna go with... Who knows if that's stupid, Jay? We gotta look into this.

I'm between two, and it makes me sad that I can't pick them both. But I do have this ranked higher on my list. Time. I have mint, vanilla, and mocha, and I'm gonna go with caramel. Okay. Caramel flavor. Yeah.

So if I'm not getting a mocha flavored coffee drink, I'm probably getting a caramel flavor. Or do you go caramel? No, I say caramel. I'm caramel. Yeah. I'm just a regular dude. You're just a regular dude.

Lunch, bail, to work, caramel, theater. Don't hand me a caramel. So you would go, would you? I'll bring it up after. Yeah, bring it up after. I have a couple that I'm really, I'm sad. Like I could play another round, kind of sad. So I could go further, we're not going to,

because we're gonna stop it here. But my world opened up here. With the cheese. When I looked beyond cookies. Okay? No, that's not how I was picking. You ever heard of a banana cookie? I don't know.

But you were just doing desserts. Yeah, sweets. No banana cookies exist. That really limits banana's goodness. Yeah, well, but banana is perfect. So banana flavor is the best of all the flavors. But there is a flavor out there that I refuse to have gone in my life.

And it's not the sweet. It's the savory. It's the savory. But it's the best of all the flavors, I think. I think this might be the 101. Of all flavors, it's garlic. Yeah garlic's a good good flavor Okay, I like play it can be too strong. You can't make garlic cookies No, I know I said I was going away from cookies gross

That would be I feel like I want I want garlic cut with something like cheesy garlic. Well, sure I mean garlic you're not eating cloves of garlic. That's not something you're gonna do. You're gonna be putting that. A lot of people do. I've ordered pizza with garlic on it, and I've had it be too much. Oh, I love these. Garlic flavor's a great pick. I'm not discounting that. That's a good pick.

Thank you. It's in the cheese category, though. Yeah, the cheese opened up the garlic for me. Otherwise, I was going butterscotch. Butterscotch is on my list. Oh, butterscotch, no. Butterscotch is underrated. It's underrated. No, not butterscotch. Yeah, list butter butterscotch is underrated. It's underrated. Oh

Yeah, yeah, it feels like an old flavor. Yeah, it does from the old world the one that I was between Carmel with was hazelnut That's what I was gonna ask. Yeah. Yeah, if they're both there you're gonna go Yeah, so I did it but I mean look stand hazelnut. Oh dude You don't like Nutella. Nutella is disgusting. Wait, what? It's awful. Look, I don't.

What? You're a sinner. It's a hazelnut spread. Hazelnut is disgusting. Hazelnut coffee creamers. This is going to be like mocha for you. If I give you some hazelnut spread on a piece of bread, you will eat it.

I will eat it. You're not wrong. But I won't love it. Hazelnut spread is so good. Dude, Nutella's. What do the Deucers think about these flavors? Nutella's great. OK.

Not a fan. All right, one smart, one dumb. Agreed. Of all of our flavors, I want to do this here. Of all the flavors mentioned, all 12 drafted flavors, what is your favorite? Cherry for me. Cherry for Al Borland.

Yep. Surprising. I think I'm going strawberry. Yeah, the 101. So you were dumb twice. All right, good selections. Any other considerations? I mean, just more fruits, of course. I put maple in there.

And then I had considered, but I got cherry last. I was thinking that I might have to go buffalo. Flavored. Oh! That's a good flavoring. That's actually a really clever pick. Yeah, orange, orange did not get mentioned. Lemon is very good.

Orange flavored's good, but like, orange chocolate's really good. Orange chicken? Orange chicken. Okay, I was gonna say, oranges, I like oranges far more than the artificial orange. I see what you're saying, yeah. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. I'm red, orange, pink. It's pink first for sure. That's why. So you like the strawberry flavor.

Pink, red, orange, yellow. So yellow is at the end. Would you trade all your reds to me for all the pinks? Yes, without a doubt. That's a good deal. I'll trade you all my lemons for the oranges. No, thank you. OK.

What did we learn today? I learned that Mike knew what a certain type of fruit was. Stone fruit. Stone fruit. A stone fruit. I didn't know you knew that, Mike, but stone fruit is what a cherry is. I learned what a fluce is.

Oh, yeah. And I learned that Jason doesn't want to win as much as I thought he did, because Mike took it home today. So thank you for joining us, playing some Baller Dash. Say hi to Pepper for us, Al. I will. Don't say hi for me.

And we'll catch you all the next time. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.