Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Saliva Palms & Things That Are Red - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

Spit Hit for Jan 23rd, 2025: On this episode, hear all about Jason’s most recent self-diagnosis. We also discuss the splash zone in a Broadway theatre, being invincible-ish, and a well-known poem that has the world duped. We close it down with a draft of things that are red. Don’t miss it! Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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I do not know what you've been told, Bup-a-dingy! And now you know... What you've been told. Welcome in one and all the Spitballers podcast. Episode 238. Too many. Shout out to my bedingies out there. Wee-oo. Would you rather what's the difference and we are drafting things that are red on today's

show. Oh, it's about to get heated. I love my list. I really do. We are excited to have you with us. If you would like to contribute your valuable thoughts to this show, your ideas for drafts, for segments, whatever the case may be, you can. Join the spit.com. Support the podcast that hopefully brings you joy once a week, twice a week, and become a part of our

community. Join the spit.com. Excited to get going today. You guys doing well? Doing all right. The voice is a little low. The lungs are a little full. That's gross. It's only been two months though. Yeah, yeah. No, this is who I am now. Moving forward forever. What's the difference between Jason and a person with emphysema? Trick question. I have emphysema. Have you ever thought, maybe this is one of those things where like you, if you take up heavy smoking, you go... It'll solve it. It'll cure my... It'll go, yeah. I mean, solve the problem with the problem.

The smoke will clear it out. That's a great idea, guys. Thank you so much. Just, you know, trying to help, Al. I mean, I don't know if you would recommend that. I know you're not a doctor. Definitely not. Okay, don't smoke kids. Don't smoke kids. All right.

I thought you were definitely not a doctor because that's true. That's also true. Don't go to medical school, kids. I don't know much about it. Emphysema? No, tuberculosis. Is there a chance I have the TB?

Oh. Well, if you do, then I'm feeling very vulnerable at this moment. That's true. Because you've been coughing all over me for months. It's very contagious, right? It is. Okay, so then we're probably okay. One of the top symptoms of TB is weight loss. Oh, no. Yes, certainly no TB. However, I am now interested in getting TB. I think that

that could be pretty cool for me. What is you look great? What's your secret on the TB diet? Oh some people do the TB 12. I just do TB Wow, I'm on the Doc Holliday diet. Um, let's get it going Would you rather? Alright Spencer from the website, in an office setting would you rather have free Keurig coffee available or a Starbucks in the lobby but you have to pay for it? It's a very simple office question. So this is a very bougie question.

How snooty are you about your coffee. The answer is not super but snooty enough that Keurig hashtag not a sponsor of this podcast hashtag probably never going to be not after this segment of it's very much the gilded of of coffee yeah it is coffee flavored water yes yeah which really well that's what coffee is at its foundation coffee is in fact coffee flavored water but they're just like lightly flavored water why are we still doing Keurig why is this still still happening? It's very simple. It's successful in America because we like things quick and easy.

Yes, which it is both of those. It is quick and easy. And I believe that you're, I think people adjust to it. So if you get, what happens is you get the Keurig. You start the Keurig and you're excited about your new technology. That excitement hides the taste for about two weeks. And then by the time the taste matters, you are acclimated to the dirt water.

And so at that point in time, you're in a routine. It's so easy. And they have so many different varieties. You go to the store and it's like cream brulee and caramel flavored and maple and they have some teas and they're decorated nicely. I was so so excited because look I am a middle-aged American and that means I had a curing machine at one point in my life. We all have.

I was so excited when I got that thing. Andy is totally like man I'm gonna wake up I'm going to wake up. I don't have to do like, I don't have to pre-program anything. I don't have to scoop the grounds in. I don't have to crush, but I just put this little pot in here and it gives me fresh fuel, fuel water and you're just super excited about it. And then you realize you're not, you're not having a good time. See for me, I had a Keurig, because again, middle-aged American. Yeah, it was a requirement for my HOA. Right, so I got a Keurig.

I would participate in the drinking of this dirt water, and it was fine. There's probably a lot of Keurig drinkers listening right now. Yeah, but here's the thing. Well, they kind of know, but they might not know, Mike, because I didn't know. They're still hypnotized? I didn't know until I didn't know. They're still hypnotized? Until I got duped, a little bit duped, sold,

just a really cool coffee machine that grounds the beans. It's like Keurig, but it's like fresh grounds every single time. So I got one of those machines. I was like, this is pretty cool. And then I tasted coffee for the first time. I was like, whoa, coffee is pretty cool. And then I tasted coffee for the first time. I was like, Whoa, coffee is actually good. What was I drinking? It certainly

wasn't coffee. Keurig's original marketing plan was to do one of those like the Pepsi challenge type of things. Except for they did it over 1000 people and not one person shows the Keurig cup over the real coffee. I'm going to the Starbucks and I'm paying is the answer to this question. Yeah, unfortunately I'm losing half my paycheck here to Starbucks. I'm still intimidated by Starbucks. By ordering Starbucks. You just need one go-to and you're fine. I guess in this world- You can practice with us. We'll pretend we work there. Can I get a Venti? Oh, oh, step one. Do not

let big Starbucks push you around. You order small, medium, large. Oh, am I allowed to do? Oh yeah. Oh, they, they could take that sizing system and shove it. I can tell you right now. I can tell you right now. I have no idea what size I just ordered. That's like I literally don't know. Biggest biggest. I would have guessed the middle. No, I would know he goes there for all the time. They do have a Trenta that's bigger than the Venti. They have a Trenta now? That's new. They have an extra large? Oh man, that's new. You're making this up. A very large. No, I mean you could be. Just go and trust me, they're reasonable people

usually. I'm going to say, can I get one about this big, show them on my hands, and I would like coffee in that? Thank you. Yeah, I mean that's- If I just order- Now do you know- Are they gonna come back after I say, I'd like a cup of coffee in there?

They're gonna be like, would you- Do you want room for cream? That's what they're gonna say. Well that's fine, but are there different types of regular coffee? First they will ask you what kind of a roast you want. Yeah, oh my gosh, I don't know. House roast. a roast you want yeah oh my gosh I don't know house roast that's what I say I don't know I'm so just go with light roast surprise me so sir dark roast is the

coffeeist of the coffee really do have a Trenta that's new I think he used to be the big one so it's me short tall grande venti Trenta get out of here goodness gracious I print money with my dumb names. I think my move is to go to the counter and say I'd like a medium black coffee and then turn my back. Yes! Just oh that's what I said. Oh no go with the earbuds! And turn my back and take two steps away from the counter and then they need to figure out what I have ordered. But here I'm helping you right now Jason because like the the dark roast is the strongest of the flavor but I believe no maybe I'm wrong and I've been living a lime a whole life but the the blonde

roast or the lighter roast actually has more caffeine. Really? Yeah I think people associate the darker with... Yeah I don't think a blonde roast has more caffeine. I think so because I think it burns it out. I thought they had a... I'll find out. First of all, this Trent... Fact check me on this. This Trenta size is 31 ounces, and this is a Widowmaker. I mean, there's no business. You do not need 31 ounces of coffee.

Your heart doesn't need this. That's like three cups of coffee into... Yeah, that's all right, actually. That's pretty good. Yeah, I don't think that's too much. Yeah, I think I'm going gonna go with the Keurig, just for my embarrassment. Michael from Patreon has a very difficult question for me to...

Hold on, hold on, we gotta find out about this cafe. Yeah, we gotta find that out. And also, I'd like to put ourselves on blast. Okay. Because we run a company. Yeah. We have an office. Sure.

And we have a Keurig from here. We do have a Keurig. Yeah, because this is office sure and we have a curate here. Do you have a kid? Yeah, because we live this America so I'm just saying yeah Maybe we should start talking to Starbucks about adding a counter here in the label to pay for yeah, okay? That's fine. Okay. Yeah, they'll move into any building you want as long as you know people pay for it all right It turns out caffeine just it doesn't matter It doesn't matter if it's dark or blonde, but blonde roast is the way to go doesn't depend on roasting time Okay, Michael from patreon. Would you rather salivate too much too little? Oh, no, it's a great

Question this might be the best question. It's not because it's so Obvious if you're listening the negatives of both. Yeah, I mean. I've never, I can say this. I have salivated too little. Yes. I have never salivated too much. Oh, you haven't? No.

No, how does that, how do you get it going? You just have saliva running out of your mouth? No, it's not running out of your mouth, but it's like just an uncomfortable amount where you have to keep swallowing in the middle of talking. I feel like. I've never been drinking my saliva like that. I feel like I would be drooling as I speak. I mean... Now I've spilled on the pillow before. That's just drooling.

That's not producing too much saliva. But the fact that I'm having to... It's terrible. I've had it happen a couple times like when we're doing a show and I'm like I feel like I can't get an entire sentence So it's your salivation under control. No, it's it's just completely out of control out But however cottonmouth is itself. It is a big problem your lips turn all white When you get bad dry mouth, it is a nightmare I've been on medications before that just gave me the most extreme. Your TB meds?

It was like, yes, my tuberculosis meds. I mean, when you get extreme dry mouth, it is the worst. You feel like you can't move your lips and you're just, everything has that sound associated. Yep, stick. That's, that's, that's. Oh, it's awful. I think I have to get extra saliva here. Because there's also a benefit to saliva. Saliva is necessary. Wait, what do you mean there's a benefit? Well, it's part of your digestive system. It helps

break down food. The right amount is. Well, sure, but none doesn't help. Yeah, wouldn't a lack of saliva inhibit the digestive process? I guess if you're permanently dry-mouthed, because I'm thinking of the only times I've really gotten dry-mouthed is when I'm in a public speaking situation where somehow the nerves, not like our show though, but like when I'm speaking by myself on a stage, that's when I've noticed it. The time when you really don't want it. Right, when you really, really don't want it.

It is a strange thing. But if you didn't have it all the time, then you would not be able to break your food down properly. So I'm going extra. The fact of, like, why do our bodies betray us like this? This is something that I have to do. I have to go talk to these people. Why is my body making it as difficult as possible

to just physically do it? I'm already dealing with anxiety. It's the brain-body combo. It's just, it's the anxiety. It's like butterflies in your stomach stuff. But why wouldn't your brain be like, I got you, bro. I'm gonna give you extra adrenaline, so much saliva, don't you worry.

Because, you know, like, if you're looking at just- He's just spitting all over the stage. Just, but primal stuff right fight or flight, yeah and Apparently our bodies are saying that flight is Or fight either of these responses we could do them better if our mouths are dry Why why is that a response? Okay? I see what you're saying. No, that's it's a weird like that is a weird one Have you like you super we suppress your hunger? Yeah, so you're saying. Now, it's a weird, like, that is a weird one. Have you guys? Like, we suppress your hunger, so you're not hungry during a high anxiety situation.

You don't have to go to the bathroom. You don't have to go to the bathroom. These are great things, but if I'm running. But also, you got no saliva. If I am running, I need some, my mouth is already gonna dry out because I'm running and breathing hard. Help me out, body.

What is it doing instead is the real question. Oh, it's dunking on you. It moves it to your hands. You get sweaty hands, you know that? Yeah, that's saliva coming out of your hands. Wow. We have something in our brain that just hates us. We gotta reroute.

I think it might be more of like a, it's not a hatred, but maybe more like a punked situation where they're like, oh dude, check this out. I'm gonna get them so good. It goes to your hands. Sweaty palms, saliva palms. Saliva palms. Oh man, the next time I shake someone with sweaty hands,

I'll now know. They're spittin' on you. I am shaking their saliva hands. That's right. Have you guys, I know you're both Hamilton fans, the musical. Yeah, yes. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Have you guys I know you're both Hamilton fans the music. Oh, yes Don't don't don't don't I tell me that you guys picked up on the King Henry. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah during the the Disney one the Disney version

well, I saw in New York as well and Even from a distance you can tell and even from a distance you can tell. Wait, he's just a dry mouth? Oh, he's the opposite. Oh, is he firing away? This dude's got so much saliva. Is it flying all over? It is everywhere.

When you project. I mean, it is a real problem. It is a real problem, and I recommend the balcony seats. You need to wear some sort of like. There is a splash zone up front When you go in if you're in that orchestra area seeing Shamu yeah, but he was a great performer great job I'm a big fan, but congrats on all that saliva Maybe for that kind of a show you want to go home with a little

Sell it on eBay Kevin from the website, would you rather every time you try to say I'm sorry, the words oopsie doopsie come out, oopsie doopsie, or every time you try to say thank you, the words whoop, there it is, come out? I think there's something really cute about an oopsie doopsie.

And I'm sorry, I mean, if you say oopsie doopsie, it kinda means the same thing. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I mean, it's cute in a small sorry scenario. Right. Any big sorry scenario, you are in trouble. Let's say you legitimately wrong somebody

that requires you to now go to them and apologize. And you walk in and you've done something significant to them and you walk in the room and you look them in the eye and you say, listen, oopsie doopsie. Yeah. Honey, I've had an affair. Oopsie doopsie. I don't think your voice has to inflict like that.

It could be a real sum. Oh, let me try that. Let me try a genuine heartfelt. Honey, I had an affair. Oopsie doopsy. You can't do it. You can't do it. I apologize for the push up stuff. Oh, genuinely Al. I know I put you on blast, but oopsie doopsy. Yeah. No, it doesn't work. How'd that feel? That doesn't work, man. We're not saying that it's... I don't accept. It is not optimal. No, your response is, whoop, there it is. Right. But I'm saying that whoop, there it is does not...

It doesn't correlate. No. No, we need a different phrase for thank you. It kind of does, right? Like, hey, here, I'm going to give you that loan you asked for, you know what I mean? Here's that thousand dollars to get you by. Thank you. Whoop! There it is! That's pretty cool! This is a weird one. I'm replacing the Chick-fil-A people. My pleasure.

My pleasure with the Chick-fil-A people are hitting you with a whoop, there it is. That's so much better. That's actually nice. Yeah, alright. That would be kind of fun. Now if you switched it to Boom Shaka Laka. That's better. That's, you know. I guess these are both pretty intense. I, I, I.

Oopsie doopsie though. Oopsie doopsie. Now that I've gone through the actual experience of trying to say it both ways, I would put that inflection on everything. No matter how serious it is. Oopsie doopsie for your loss. Oh, oopsie, oopsie doopsie for your loss. No matter how serious it is. Oopsie doopsie for your loss. Oh, oopsie doopsie for your loss.

Oopsie doopsie for your loss. Oh, man. But you got to put the hands up like, oopsie doopsie. Oopsie doopsie on your loss. Oh, that's bad. Yeah. But I'm still taking it. I'm still taking oopsie doopsie.

Because most apologies are usually more mild. I'm a man who apologizes for the mistakes I make. If I parent and I realize I made a mistake, I'm going to say, oopsie doopsie. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And they'll say, they probably won't say whoop, there it is after an oopsie doopsie. I guess I'm going to have to go with the whoop, there it is. I'm taking the oopsie doopsie. All right. Should we do one more more move on? Let's do one more All right, Vivian Frank from patreon one of our supporters says if you were an NFL player

Would you rather win a single Super Bowl in your career? Or never go to a bowl game, but be inducted to the Hall of Fame I'm confused by this means you're an average NFL player. What does he mean? Never go to a bowl? You don't go to a Super Bowl. Yeah. Okay, that's a collegiate phrase there. They did say Super Bowl and then never go to a bowl game. Basically, would you rather be Dan Marino?

Would you rather be Dan Marino? You never won a championship, but you are a Hall of Famer, considered one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, or you're a forgettable, I mean, there's a million NFL players who've won a championship, won a Super Bowl that we don't even know the names of, and we do NFL stuff for a living. Yeah, it's tough because the, in essence,

if you are a Hall of Fame player, you also played for many years to accomplish that, which means you have many years of disappointment. It's not just like, like you could win a single Super Bowl title in your career, you could play three years, so you've won one and three, and then you, you know you you ride off into the sunset. You have to necessarily play a bunch of years to make the Hall of Fame. But I think I'm going to go with that one. I mean I think I want greatness. I want the years of success and greatness and reverence

of me as a player versus just having won a Super Bowl as I mean I might as well be a bench player. Could have been. 100%. If you're answering anything but Hall of Fame, you are a liar. You are a straight up liar. Oh, it's a team sport. I want to win the highest championship. It's not about me. Yes, it is. Yes, it is about you. Because you know what? At the end it is. After your career is over, when you're a Hall of Famer. You're still a part of that game You're still going to ceremonies. You're still

important But what you got a you got a ring somewhere and you know, you know, one knows who you are It's a fancy ring. So as of to the class of having to sell it. Oh, yeah 2023 that class there will be 371 people in the NFL Hall of Fame. So that is a much lower number than people who have won a Super Bowl. Let me ask you this though, to change the question to make it more compelling. Would you rather win a single Super Bowl because of what you did in the Super Bowl or be inducted

into the Hall of Fame? Because there are players like David Tyree, who never did a thing in the NFL, but will be forever immortalized as the reason one of that they won that Super Bowl. I mean, that David Tyree catch for New York will go down in history forever. And he got a Super Bowl win and we know his name now?

I am 100% taking the Hall of Fame. Yeah, I think I am too. Oh yeah, baby. That's a pretty special moment though. Oh, for Fame. Yeah I think I am too. Oh yeah baby. That's a pretty special moment though. Oh for sure and I didn't get that moment but you didn't get a gold jacket. Yeah you do get a ceremony for that and you're part of a club. Jason would like to be part of a club. I love being a part of exclusive clubs. You are part of a club but if you make the play you're part of a television special every single year because every single year they're gonna count down

the best plays of all time. And if you had one of those plays that wins the Super Bowl, it's going to be in there. It's a tough call. If I walked by David Tyree today, I would not know it. Sure, because he would not be wearing a golden jacket. I assume Dan Marino just always is wearing his golden jacket, right?

He probably is. Yeah. I mean, what's the point of having a... He's kind of a... Not a great dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These things happen. The gold jacket changes you.

If you have the gold jacket, how do you not wear that all the time? Maybe it's too hot. So every now and then you just... I always think that would be wool. I think of that with a master's jacket, too. If I win the green jacket, I'm wearing it. I'm wearing this thing. I'm not only making a duplicate at least. Because they only wear it to like the ceremony where other people are getting their jackets. Cruise around in that thing all day. You should make those things bulletproof.

Just like a John Wick jacket. Yeah double I just want more utility. All right let's move on. John Wick jacket. Yeah, double, I just want more utility. All right, let's move on. What's up, Spitwads? I've got a special message for you. Did you know that 45% of teens say social media makes them feel sad or depressed? If you're like me and you have young kids,

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That's gab spelled G a B B.com slash ballers gab.com slash ballers terms and conditions apply. What's the difference between being invincible, indestructible, and unbeatable. Oh. Oh man. You can start with unbeatable because that's at a task or a game. I agree with that. And that's also what we are.

We are unbeatable? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Just as a company, as competitors. We are unbeatable in our humbleness as well. That is 100% correct. However, with the TB you're suffering from, you are not invincible or indestructible. No, that will destroy me, but it's not a game,

so it hasn't really beaten me. You can make the joke, you know. What if it's the game of life? And what if you eventually lose, then you're beatable? Okay, that's basically it. Eventually. Foundable quandary. So far you're losing.

I am currently losing the battle of tuberculosis. Yes, I am. Indestructible and invincible, though, it's tough because to me this is, I almost feel like an invincible person never dies no matter what. But an indestructible person. They die of old age.

May die of old age but cannot be destroyed while they live. Does that make sense? I think that that's 100% it. If you're indestructible then, eventually the Grim Reaper comes, you have aged out, does your body decompose?

I doubt it. Or does it remain remain Indestructible that's a good question Mike and it's an important one. I mean Is Bruce Willis right from the the M night? Wait, is it the movie called in? Wait, is it called unbreakable unbreakable? Yeah. Yeah. Okay should be called indestructible But we'll we'll allow it but that is that you know, he's not gonna live forever So Andy's right invincible invincible like Superman doesn't age right, but Superman is not invincible That's true. He's got that kryptonite thing

He's he's what I think of when I think of invincible though. Oh man. Is he indestructible? No, he's mostly That but he's not completely that. So if you're mostly that can you make the claim that you are indestructible even though you know. It's invincible with an asterisk. That's what Superman is. Yeah I think he's... Read the fine print. Yeah I think he's indestructible and invincible with an asterisk. Can you straighten me out here with Superman? The kryptonite. Yes He's cool with it if he's on Krypton, but he's not cool with it if it comes to earth That is he was born in Krypton. So is he just born in a big poison lake? No, see that the problem is I

Think isn't it he he receives his superpower from the yellow Sun I'm also known as our son our son. He So he wasn't a superman on Kryptonite. I don't think so. Okay that makes sense. So then when pieces of his home planet are around him, he no longer has the superpowers. Now there's other colors of Kryptonite though. I don't support those. I completely agree Andy.

I don't believe in those. You're the Superman guy How do you not all over this? I just I think that they've gone too far Kryptonite is green and when they added other colors, it's ridiculous. So I think Mike's right here It says that kryptonite affects Superman by interfering with the cells in their ability to metabolize solar radiation There you go There you go weaker due to the inability of his cells to process the radiation necessary to give him a superpower. That's right spit wads You are welcome. And so now Jason generally picks Superman and things because he's invincible. That's right

I like the best and so do we have the no invincible superheroes then is there? Yeah, I can think of one invincible superhero. Who's that? Doctor what's his face the blue doctor Manhattan yeah dr. Manhattan oh man we deep cut that I don't even know yeah that week that's Watchmen well I don't think that we can bring up dr. Manhattan on this podcast we will we will be shut down immediately I'm too nerdy let's move on what's the difference between a throw a toss and a chuck so if I'm chucking something that's easy to me I chuck without consideration of, that's easy to me. I chuck

without consideration of where it's going. Well I was gonna say your eyes are usually closed. Or you could be spinning. You've got to be at the at the most looking through a squint. You can't chuck with your eyes just casually open. If you're not doing this on your throw. Very good audio. Yes if you're not squinting or even eyes completely closed when you chuck something, you ain't trying hard enough. Like if I'm taking, if I take something from you and I'm gonna chuck it, I don't care where it's landing.

But hold on. I just want it to be away from here. Jason, I think, is implying that a chuck must have maximum power. You gotta have force with a chuck. That's true. Do you? You have to have force to chuck it. Yeah, otherwise there's a chuck. That's true. Do you? You have to have force to chuck it.

Yeah, otherwise it's a toss. Yeah, you're not chucking it. Well, I feel like a... You can't have like a light chuck. Can you toss overhanded? No, I don't think you can toss overhanded. Like a toss to me is an underhand throw. No, you can have a toss with your kid

with a kind of like a overhand, soft overhand. That's a toss. Okay, so you can you can have a toss with your kid with a kind of like a overhand soft overhand That's a toss. Okay, so you can you go soft over here? They must have a certain arc, but a toss is gentle a toss is gentle light. Yeah, the toss is A chuck is never light. No, no, you can't chuck something a short distance One of those doesn't go far you didn't chuck it You just threw it just one of the more frustrating things that you can do To somebody and they're doing it in prisons now have prisoners try to chuck feathers. It's Infuriating it's infuriating because they don't they don't go where they should go

But I would say that a chuck is kind of like it's a wild man's throw I mean you are it's like a punch to a haymaker. Yeah a throw has... Yes. Yeah that's right and a throw is just... there's velocity on a throw. Has to be overhand. It has to be overhand and and I think there's some trajectory things. Maybe. Because the fast softball pitch is... it's not a throw. It's a pitch. You wouldn't say it's a pitch? Throw that to me. Nobody's softballing it to you. No. Yeah, it's a pitch It's a pitch. It's an underhand pitch. It's not a child got its own thing So I'm gonna gotta be overhand to throw sometimes a bad pitcher becomes a chucker Yeah, and that can because they can I squint like they close their eyes or close their eyes, okay

So there you go. I think we did it. What's the difference between a symphony and orchestra in a band? This one troubles me because there are answers to this and I just might not know them. So a symphony obviously is there's a lot of people and their goal is to calmly put you to sleep. They're the one. I don't think that's true. Yeah, no. I thought the difference was the pit. Like, one's above grand, one's below grand. The orchestra is usually below. The orchestra's gotta be below, and symphony, you have to watch them. Because all the Mozart and Beethoven's,

those are symphonies. Yeah, because you can see them. Yeah, but I'm saying they're not going, du-du-du-du, to try and put you to sleep. Eventually, Beethoven does put you to sleep. Sometimes they start hard, but then they want to casually... Because they take you on an emotional ride.

Ah, defending the symphony. An emotional ride to bed. They eventually lay you down on some soft... That's a lullaby. Well, I mean, a symphony can play anything. They can put you to sleep with a lullaby or with Metallica. Are all symphonies and orchestras bands, but not all bands symphonies and orchestras? Or are none of the symphonies and orchestras bands? So I don't think that- Because they have too many things.

I don't think that they're bands. Bands are cool. Like bands are, you know, something that's like, I'm in a band. Nobody would be in the symphony and be like, I'm in a band, you know what I mean? Like, it's just not cool. That part is true. That part is true, but I will stand up for the orchestra people of, maybe they themselves are not cool.

They can make things very cool though. Like if you, I mean if you take the orchestra out of a movie, like watch Star Wars, watch an Avengers movie without orchestral music and it will not land. It will look dumb. So what did you think, Al you were nodding at me. The above ground, below ground thing, you think there's some.

Cause the orchestra has to go in a pit. No I thought you were going a different route so I was nodding in agreement, but then you went somewhere else. What was your route? I think, and I could be wrong, but I've always been under the understanding that a symphony is a composition. Yes. And an orchestra is, like an orchestra would play a symphony. That's what I thought too, but then we were asked this question, so I thought maybe I was wrong.

I mean, we're obviously the authorities, so I would never... Yeah, I would go with us here. I would never actually... I owl is complete can a band play a symphony There no, do you need a full orchestra? Yeah, you need a full right to play a symphony and a band is too cool to do that Yeah, that's the thing band doesn't want to put you to sleep band wants to wake you up get you going Get you moving get me in this man. I mean wait the garage you know you're in a garage probably yeah waking people up you ever heard of a garage symphony no

that's so for Jason the symphony puts him to sleep in the garage band wakes him up that's right I like the idea of a garage orchestra a garage orchestra keep it down you don'tigans. Dun dun dun dun. All right, let's do one more. Let's do another one of these. What is the difference between the other day, recently and a while back? Okay. Oh man.

Let me give these to you in a use case. Okay. Let me give these to you in a use case, okay? I went and saw the movie Avatar the other day. Yes. I saw the movie Avatar recently. Okay. I went and saw the movie Avatar a while back. Okay, so it's obviously in that order of distance, right?

The closest. See, I reversed recently another day. Yeah, the other day to me is. A while back is the oldest. of distance, right? See, I reversed recently another day. The other day to me is- A while back is the oldest. For sure. That's a while back. Yeah, because there's a condition there.

A while. Yeah, okay. So a while back would be the longest, but then, like the other day though, it can be two days ago, it can be months ago. No, you cannot. There's a three-day statute of limitation. Are you telling me all these years we've known you, you've been using the other day and you might have meant a few months ago? I will allow it. Yes, the other day has to be within the week. No, no, no, that's not the other day. You can't say the other day is within a week, week or two weeks. But recently could be, that changes. Recently can, like if you went to Hawaii

last year, that's recently for going to Hawaii. Absolutely. No. You would never say the other day I went to Hawaii a year ago. But if you saw a TV show, an episode, and you said recently, it probably shouldn't count for last year. Correct. No, recently is two weeks and I feel like when you say the other day, you aren't sure how long ago it was if I say recently I can tell you when it happened the other day better Be within a month or I'm punching you in the one hundred I'm gonna punch you where's the other day this happened and that was two months ago. I'm punching you in the face Get knuckle sandwich. You can't because you won't be able to lock down exactly when it happened because I don't know You can't because you won't be able to lock down exactly when it happened because I don't know

You don't know you you use other day when you forgotten when you've done something, correct? That's a while back That's a while back while back is I know I know this was like last year No, I mean you and I are in lockstep here Yeah, we clearly understand what the other day means. Nope. And my inappropriate no idea what the other day is. Well, I mean, according to Mike, we became friends with him the other day. Oh yeah. The other day we the other day I met him at a GDC conference. I don't remember exactly when it was the other day. Yeah. Do you see how stupid that sound? Nope. Nope. When you when you brought up the friendship, that one didn't sound good. But when you said the conference, when you said the conference, that worked.

That was like 10 years ago. That cannot be the other day. Look, this one's tough. It could be the other day. Cause I don't, was it 10 years ago? Was it two? I don't know. All you know is that it was a while back. You know it was a while back. A while. I mean the spin wads, you are with us, and I apologize for Mike on this question. Yes.

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All right, we are drafting things that are red. And I'm going to be honest with you, I. I don't know if I love having the first pick here. Oh, there's a big three. I feel like I have to make a selection that defines the number one overall pick because I have a lot of, you said there's a big three. There's a big three.

Do you see a big three, Jason? I got a big two. Look, both of you are not gonna have what I pick first, but what I'm picking first is most important. And I have to take it first. Because there's things to look at that are red. And that's part of, we're drafting things that are red. Usually when something is red,

it is because I'm looking at it, and I recognize that it's red. But I am going- You know your colors very well. I'm making my number one pick based on importance. Okay. Not just on how it looks, or how it tastes, because those are some pick options. Sure. options sure going on. I need it to live

I'm taking blood. It's definitely one of the big two. Oh, no. No, it is not It's number four on my list. I'm taking blood. Okay, so I made a good pick. Yes, you made a great pick It's a good pick. It's just not in the big three Mike was gonna make that pick a while back Mike you are up. All right, so then part of the big blood. Mike was gonna make that pick a while back. Mike you are up. All right so then part of the big blood it's a good pick. It's bumping through my veins. It's fourth on my list but when we are doing something that's saying things that are red we are this is childish we are being children right now and you ask a child what is red a fire truck a fire truck is red. Okay? 100%. Yeah, I mean, fire truck is on my list.

I just counted, it's ninth on my list. No, that's stupid. It's 14 on my list, but it's not a bad pick. It's not bad, it's on our list. It's just bad for where you drafted it. There's a lot of, you know. I mean, clearly would have dropped to 14 or so. Yeah, you could have got that forever from now.

That's fine. I mean, a fire fine. I will admit as an adult, a fire truck is still pretty cool. Yeah, of course it is. I think we become a little immune to it. But if you see one, you're like, that's pretty cool. Yeah, they got the sirens on. I don't mind the pick at all. It's a good pick. Alright, look, I got a big two. One of them was blood. The other is used to act like blood sometimes, but as delicious as ketchup. Yeah, baby.

Ketchup was out. Hold on. I'm going to go through my list. Yeah, count it. Count it. Not there. Oh, what a dumb list. It's not on my list either.

What a dumb list. Oh, we have two lists. Two dumb lists. And it's not on there. Ketchup is the goat. See, we put Mike in defensive position, and it's coming out for the rest of the draft. Ketchup wasn't on my list.

I didn't think about it. But was it on your list, Al? Where? Where in your list? It was on my list of round five. Round five pick? No, it was around five. Oh, around five.

All right. So ketchup. Ketchup is fantastic. I just like that blood and ketchup were so synonymous. I mean. They're the one and two of red. If you don't have blood, you got ketchup. Yeah.

Is that pumping through your veins? Ketchup is pumping through my veins. That could be a problem with the tuberculosis. Yeah, well the blood comes up when I cough, so I've got the one and two thanks to TB. All right, the next one here, I don't think is gonna be on your guys' list. Oh, at all.

This isn't a matter. Okay, so like ketchup? Yeah, yeah, exactly. You guys have just awful lists, but my wife has been watching this new Netflix show that's like about collectibles. I don't remember the name and not a sponsor, so you don't get a shout out.

But it's really cool. You know, when you have a one of a kind, unique item that the entire world knows, it's unfathomably valuable. Fire trucks are everywhere. Yeah, okay. You just set up, you've done it. But this one, there's one of one one and I'm taking the big man's suit

Give me Santa Claus's suit and I'm putting that thing up for auction Because it is very valuable and he's coming from here on out every Christmas All a mode I So many questions, there's a lot to dig through. Okay. A suit. Okay. Second pick. So you're saying somebody owns the original. The Santa does. Yes. And I am taking it from him. But what does this have to do with the Netflix show? It's a valuable collectible. If you're, if you're telling me I have, I tell me there's a show that talks about collectibles and you thought we wouldn't understand

Value and collectibles without the Netflix show. Well, I'm just saying that's been on my mind I've been watching so the cool I'm in a collectible. I was a little confused. I got you I thought you were saying someone on the show has Santa suit Santa has it okay Because I had some really bad bad bad things that I had to say. Yeah. You went with Ketchup and Santa's suit, not the two picks I saw come. You could have just said Santa Claus, and I would have accepted that as a very good answer.

He's not red, his suit is red. Well, his cheeks are jolly. Yeah, that's true. Mike, you are back on the board. But you are right, not on my list, but that is an oversight. Santa Claus should have been on this list. It's a good pick.

Yeah, that's a fantastic pick. It was a long way there, but I get it now. All right, well I'm gonna continue on with my big three for the children, and I will go with a stop sign. Okay, stop sign. That was literally right next to fire trucks. I mean, fire truck doesn't have to obey. No, they do not, because they're both red. If you drive a red car, stop sign. That was literally right next to fire trucks. I mean, fire truck doesn't have to obey. No, they do not because they're both red. Yes. If you drive a red car, stop signs go right through. These are not for me. These are for green cars. All right. So we are back

at. Yeah, I didn't have a whole spiel about stop signs because they speak for themselves. I don't have to sell the pick stop sign. All right. I have blood very important my second pick There's a famous poem and it just says blank are red. Yeah, this is big three territory. Welcome in I mean roses. Yes roses roses are red Everyone knows they are and watch out for the blue draft because violets knows they are and watch out for the blue draft because violets. No I'm going with roses. I feel like I got a power to you do with blood and rose. Yeah. It's more purple. I don't know. Not according to the not according to the poem. Yeah. That's that's where I take

my flower information. That's probably why. Didn't we do a blue draft already. I don't think violence got picked. We did do one and I don't believe they got picked yeah wait up cuz they're dry that that that poem is really okay you're illuminating some things that I've never thought about so they got the roses one right yeah they did are red and then we say violets are blue but it should be roses are red violets are violet that's the name of the color there is a a color called violet. And it's not blue. Why are you masquerading as blue? I'm looking at a bunch of violets right now, man.

What color are they? Purple is X. Yeah, they're not at all blue. This poem is a fraud. I think when it was written, there were only a few colors that you could choose from. Colors they hadn't evolved yet. They didn't know purple at that time.

They only had the red, blue, green, RGB. I mean that poem is a massacre of a lie. It's just flat out a lie. Roses are red, violets are not blue. Okay. All right. We are moving on and now I have to make a third pick here. We're moving on and now I have to make a third pick here. I think, I'm not gonna. It opens up here. I don't wanna underestimate you guys as my opponents in the draft and because I have one that I think

could make it to the end. Whatever, I'm just gonna take it. I could go 10 rounds. Go on the red Power Ranger. Okay. I'm taking the red Power Ranger for my third pick in the draft. In part because Jason went character. He went with Santa Claus.

Yes. And so I'm going to go with the Power Ranger. I had thought about going with that one because it's the red Ranger. It's a very important- You're the one I was worried about. He is. I mean, he's the leader of the group, at least back when we watched. He's the only Power Ranger eligible for this draft.

But the problem is you have to declare the red one. You can't just say Power Ranger. That's right. It's the red one. That's why I kept him off my list. That was my issue. It's okay. It's okay, stop sign.

You're up. Yeah, but stop signs are clearly red. The Ranger could be yellow, pink, I don't know. I don't know. Okay, I got you saying yeah He's trying to poke some holes here. Violets are blue. I'm really mad at that poem still I'm just sitting over here. Just pretty angry. You mean are we sure roses are red at this point? I mean, I've bought anymore. I've bought plenty of pink roses before that's true roses aren't always red

plenty of pink roses before. That's true. Roses aren't always red. Yeah, but then... Jason's got a visceral anger to this pile. I'm pretty upset. All right, so I have, this is my third pick? Yes, sir. Okay, and we're gonna move over into the food area,

and I will take what I believe is, look, it is a royalty in the fruit family. And I will take the strawberry. Yeah, it's a good pick. Strawberries are so good. I respect the pick. So, so good. The problem I have is it's not my favorite of the red fruits.

But I feel like it belonged on the top. It is classic. It is absolute. It's the most red of the fruits, right? When you think of red. Most red? I mean through and through, I guess? Is that what you're saying? It's got a bright, vibrant red to it, is what he's saying.

Yeah, I'm saying there's other berries that are reddish. They're a little bit more maroon. I mean, apples get pretty red. Yeah, but those ones suck. Yeah, no, I'm with you on that one. They're just not the best apple. And apples are like roses in many different colors. If you're strawberry.

You're caring about the kind of like, you want like a dedicated. Yes. Like that's why you can't get a stop sign of different color. Right, Mike is going. Pure blood. Classic, pure red. I'm not. A pure lime.

Like a child. I explained this. Yes, I am going with things that are awesome that are in the red family. They don't have to be perfectly red. Yeah. You know, I'm saying Nothing goes together like sanding and ketchup. things that are associated with, well, you don't think

that there's a lot of ketchup stains on that suit. There are, but you can't tell. Okay, then you should wear red more. Yeah yeah but then I'd be the Kool-Aid man. Which is up for pick. That is up for draft pick. I could go so many rounds here it's ridiculous. So like you know a lot of things that are red? Yeah thank you. Little flex over here. My knowledge of color items is incredible. But because I've got two picks... I mean I'll be shocked if you don't take. I'm not gonna take anything that you think right now because I know the two things I'm gonna take. It's amazing. You will...

they're not gonna be on your list because this is a list for me. This thing that you're not drafting if you don't draft it couldn't be more you. Okay well we'll find out. I am pairing these two together. There are things I like a little bit better on my list, but since I got two back to back, I'm going with red wine and red meat. Oh yeah baby! Wine is on my list, meat was not. Yeah, red wine was the one I'm talking about. Oh great!

So you were wrong that I didn't know. You know me so well. Honestly I should have taken red wine at three because. Yeah Red Ranger would have made it back. Yeah. To round 20. No not round 20. Look you gotta have a little look I've got core picks here I needed some attitude. Yeah. Okay so you took red wine red meat so you're. Those are solid solids. Yeah I'm done. red wine red meat, so you're those are solid So I'm done red wine red meat Santa suit and ketchup if you that's a good list You could probably pull off the whole ensemble there. Oh, yeah for sure I could put that suit on yeah get the little ketchup on the steak on the red meat with a glass of red wine

Oh, man, know what I'm doing tonight. Do you do that? I don't do ketchup on the steak? I don't do ketchup on the steak, but I don't think it's a, I don't think it's egregious or a faux pas. Mike, you've got firetruck, stop sign, and strawberry. See if you can lock down this final pick. All right, I... We did a blue. I cannot.

No, I resign from this draft. I'm very envious that Jason knows so many red things. I know. Let me know if you need help. I have got a plethora of red eyes. I was going to say, we did a blue draft, so that actually happened. We did, I think. That's something we did. We did. Blue and green. Okay, so in the green draft, I remember I took an emotion in green, and I'm going to do it again.

Oh, wow. Because we got to keep the trends going. So I will take anger. I again. Oh wow. Because we gotta keep the trends going. So I will take anger. I am red with anger. Because anger is red. At that poem. Wow, okay. I was inspired with how angry we have gotten

with whoever wrote that. Firetruck Slots Lines Strawberry Anger. I don't think Mother Goose wrote that one. Mother Goose, there were like six to eight colors when she was around. There were only three or four wrote that one. Mother Goose, there were like six to eight colors when she was around. There were only three or four at that time. I have Blood, Roses, a Red Power Ranger, and now an infinite amount of options for my final pick.

I'll bet you don't know as many as I do. You've made yourself laugh. I just, I don't know what to go with here. I don't feel like anything's gonna have the impact that I want it to have. So, I'm gonna go with lobster. Oh, that's a great pick. I'm gonna take lobster just to.

They literally call it lobster red. Yeah, just to match your, if you're having some red meat, I need some lobster on the plate. Although the, what is the lobster color before it's cooked? Like black. Is it? Sometimes. This is Mr. Pure Bread over here.

He wants things to stay red from the beginning to the end. I generally do, but I don't mind this pick. I'm just, I know that they- It starts black. They really redden up when you- When you boil it, it turns- When you cook them alive. When you boil this animal alive, it turns red.

But then when you put it on the plate, you open it up and it's more white. Oh, that's pretty funny. I eat meat, and so I understand that these animals are being prepared for me to eat. But the idea of going into a restaurant and then pointing at something in a tank, you're like, yeah, that one. I'm gonna eat you. I'm gonna eat you.

Please go boil this alive for me. That one, that one gets harder. Is it the method? Would you like it to be like, yes. Euthanized beforehand? Plopped on the head and then boiled. Yeah, can we do that? Lethal injection?

I think sometimes that is done. They do, I was at a restaurant once that hangs all of their lobster. Oh my gosh It's just if it feels barbaric of us even look and I get it I get that my my beef is Probably not humanely humanely handled either. It's um Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, it's what we do do I'm gonna eat some lobster. Yeah is that the final pick? That is. Oh or how much time do we have? I don't know if we've got enough time. I know tell me the other things. But there were a couple things I really wanted. I want to give them shoutouts the red solo cups. I have that on my list. Those are a classic. I have that on my list too. The, you know, roll that out. Yeah, that's cool. Oh, oh, you guys didn't think of that.

See how smart I am? Yeah. Mars, Mike, you love. Thought about the red planet. Those were the three of them. What about Clifford? Clifford is on my list. He's on my list.

It was a little too abstract for what I was going for, but I was just gonna say wedding. Oh, the red wedding. Oh, I like. Yeah, it's a little abstract. Dorothy's slippers. Ooh. I almost went with redwood trees, but they're not red. But they the red wedding. Oh, yeah, it's a little extra. Dorothy slippers. Oh, I'm also with redwood trees, but they're not. They're not red. They're just called red. They're reddish. Reddish wood trees. Anger is not actually red for the record. Say I think the stretch. I know Al would have shut it

down. Lipstick sports car, red velvet cake. Delicious. And then you got all the fruits that weren't mentioned. Apples. Thank goodness. Cherries and raspberries. Where do you guys stand on Mario? He's red. I consider him red. I think that would've been a great pick. I do too, he's on my list.

That would've been a great pick. I wasn't 100% sure. You know, if you just- Andy Reid. The amount of characters, Bruce Arians actually is actually red. But if you go characters, there's so many, you know, you got Spider-Man, Iron Man. Deadpool. Deadpool, yeah. What did we learn today? I mean, I learned that.

I mean, Jason knows a lot of red things. That's what I learned. You smart man. Yeah, thank you. I learned that the roses are red poem is a freaking lie and you know what? You probably aren't sweet. That's the poem. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. Wait, that's like the... That's like the most known, isn't it? That's how I know it.

I mean, who knows at this point? Is that the most known? Is that the most known guys Sounds right normally the last two lines are improved. I'm pretty sure that's like the Og or yeah, sure the class. I learned that the the coffee caffeine is oh, yeah One rose dark roast. It don't make a difference. Yeah Keurig if you're interested Contact our management team

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