Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Smartphone Struggles & Food To Eat Without Utensils - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 20, 2026

Spit Hit for June 20th, 2026:  Today we get into a deep philosophical smart phone debate. Which side are you on? We also talk about the smell of rotten milk and being forced to always be talking while walking. We then do some ‘What’s the Difference?’ before jumping into our draft of foods to eat without utensils. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. I got to hand it to you, Mike. Yeah, I figured. I knew when I unveiled that idea to the world that. Two things that were great. One, your idea last week about just not doing it. Oh, man.

that freedom, it was powerful. But two, I didn't realize how nice that music was. We're covering up some beauty that you made with garbage. And I'm telling you I've never been happier. I was literally thinking, I was like, this week, I'm going to fully redeem the scat. Because we've, other than Mike, you and I have been really scraping the bottom of the scat barrel, as we call it. Yeah. Well, I think I just redeemed it the heck out of it. So you, and you did, just for those listening, because that's the majority of you, Jason was B-Bopping and scat dancing the whole time. I was, I was, dead silent. I kept waiting for something.

The first time when it was my turn to do the intro scat where I was genuinely happy. Yeah, you were at peace. I was just, like, go watch the YouTube. And you will see a happy person because I knew the whole time. Yeah, I ain't doing it. Yeah. It was so free. Mike, you got any thoughts after what you brought last week?

I mean, I guess I closed this out on a high note. There were a lot of people that said yours was the best yet last week. Yeah, it was the final. Yeah. I guess we'll find out next week if it was the final. Al could scat for us each week. Oh, man. That does sound.

And then we'll just mouth it like we're doing it. Pretty good. It's Speedballers episode 319. Welcome in. I'm sure we're going to hear some feedback on that. Would you rather what's the difference? And today we're drafting foods. to eat without utensils.

So we don't actually know if it's a free-for-all draft or if Jason's going to make us choose to build and construct a specific meal. I have the powers. I'm going to decide live during the draft. What we're doing? Yeah. That'll be fun. It'll be a real medieval times situation.

Well, yeah. Because we got to eat with your hand. We got nature's utensils. Yeah. Some things that they work well for. Other things, not so much. Hands? Hands.

Yeah, I mean, other things you need for eating? Yeah, for eating. Oh, okay. I was just thought you were talking about everything in the world. I was like, yeah, some things they work very well for. Do they're not helpful for flying? We got like, we got Frosties yesterday. And it was like, hey, can I have a spoon?

And I was thinking, oh, a fork would be pretty bad. But no utensil would be even worse. A fork would be better. Yeah. You can manage. Yeah. So, uh, we're draft. French fries is the right utensil there, though.

Oh, are you a French fry in a Frosty? Heck yeah. I did my fries in the Frosty. I'm not, uh, not so much. I mean, it's fine, but some people get real like, it's their identity. Like, this is who I am. I'm a French fry frosty guy. Unfortunately, that's where we got.

Like, it was just, it was a cool thing that we all knew about. And it was from time to time. Yeah. A fry here, a fry there. Yeah, it's fine. But no, Jason's. One of those guys. I am.

That is who I am. All right. Off to would you rather. Would you rather? Timothy. Shellame. It's kind of spelled that way. T-H-E-E.

Timothy. Would you rather only be able to talk if you are walking or only be able to walk if you are talking? Walk it like you talk it, huh? Wow. Wow. That is talk if you're walking. or only be able to walk if you are talking. Does the rule apply to everyone?

No, like a, that was just you. No. So. It was about to be, I was about to put us into a utopia. What situation would you be in where you need to reply, but you're not in a good position to walk? Anything in a vehicle? Like if you try to get out of the vehicle and the cop pulls you over and they're like, they're like, what, you know, give me your name. give me your name and insurance

and then you're like you just start sweating sir answer me right now and you're like you got to get up could you just open the door yeah you'd have to open the door oh man you don't want to do that you're getting tased oh for sure

at best yes you're hoping you get tased oh my that is that would be a real problem I mean can you mouth like if you're on an airplane being asked what kind of drink you want oh I don't get drinks anymore no you'd have to get up like I declare just walk in place

it's at least doable the other way around yeah you could point to something in the menu or you could point or I'm saying like the server they go back that's when you get up real quick I changed my mind right can I get this if you flip it

and let's say you do need to go to the bathroom on an airplane from the moment you stand up you got to start talking I'm going to the bathroom right now I'm going to go number one number two here I go to the bathroom I hope I use this door over here. You don't have to sing, just so you know.

No, I was like sing songy. That was singing songy. So one way, you're just, you're a, man, I guess both ways you're annoying. Yeah. You're less annoying if you. Now, think about our job here, fellas. Oh, we don't do. This is, we've got to get a whole new line of work.

Treadmill studio, bro. Oh, all right, we could do that. I was going to say, we sit and talk a lot. It's treadmill a good work. work around there, Al? Is that okay? Of course. As you're walking, right? Yeah. It's not you have to cover distance. That'd be very good for our health.

It would. If we were spending, you know, that's the one to go with there. A couple hours a day doing a light walk while we're talking. Oh, our shows would be 15 minutes long. You know, Jason would be like, let's wrap it up. We get 10 minutes. I was going to say, the audio, the audio quality would be really bad.

Uh, I think, yeah, I mean, I don't think. So anyway, what's the, deal. Yeah, so I guess I'll go with the one that, I mean, testifying in court, that'd be trouble too. Yeah. Your Honor, do you mind if I pace around? Please have a seat.

Oh, man. I'm going to take the silent walking. Yeah. That's what I'm going with you. Bowen from the website, knowing what you know now, if you had the power to flip the switch, Would you rather live in a world with smartphones Or a world without smartphones? Deep.

Do the pros outweigh the cons or would you wipe them off the planet? Deep. I mean, I have a quick answer. I think your quick answer is you would wipe them off the planet. Yeah. As somebody who uses and loves his own smartphone, I would, I think I would wipe them off the planet. Wow.

I think you're right to think. that way. Like, obviously, I use it all the time. Every human does. It's here. It's a tool. I mean, you kind of have no choice now. This is why you said. The amount of things that your phone does. No, you're very dependent. You're very dependent on it. Even, even things like, I mean, most tickets. You want to go to a concert? You've got to bring your phone because it's on, you know, the tickets are on your phone. I'm flying this afternoon. I've got, you know, boarding pass already loaded. I don't want to go to a kiosk of printout paper like the 1900s. So, so yeah, there are, there are some conveniences that I think we would have a hard time

adjusting to not have it. But it's also destroyed our entire society. And everybody knows it. Yeah, everyone knows it, but we're addicted. And when you're addicted. And interdependent on it. I mean, the only way to do this is to wipe them all at once. Yes.

You can't have some people to have the advantage of having a phone. Got to be a level playing field. got to get rid of the greed on the other side. But there are entire industries that would be gone. Yeah. Yeah. There's lots of people who have jobs just because of phones. Yeah, I mean like Uber. Like us. Sure. Sure.

Well, there's also a lot of people who don't have jobs now because of phones. That did have jobs. Well, they got to update with the times. Get with it. It doesn't matter what it is. If it's what, we deposit our checks on our phones now, right? So we're not, we don't have to hire as many tellers at the bank.

Yeah, but the ATM. And that's convenient. ATM took care of that. I mean, I think, were you, were you a? I wasn't in the bank guy. You're so saying, would you deposit a check into an ATM? I never have. Never.

I never done it once. You never have either. Nope. My wife is adamant of never, ever do that. So you're a big ATM depositor. Yeah, it's great, guys. I don't have to talk to anybody. Well, yeah.

And in fact, I have had, I have had consequences of trying to cash a check. I went and was like, okay, I'm not going to do the ATM. I'll do the drive-up. And then I got stuck. I don't do drive-up either. Okay, well, it's the same difference.

I go inside and stare at them right in the eyes. But I was saying the person was, oh, well, hold on, we got to go get somebody else to help out here. That would have happened inside regardless. And then I was stuck in line at the drive-through bank for over 30 minutes. And I could have just plopped that thing in the ATM. You do the... I've waited a day.

You do the virtual one now, you do the... On your phone? Yeah. Okay, yeah. See, that feels safer to me because I still have the check. So if something doesn't go...

Putting it in the ATM where I don't see a person, but also... That's what he says he does. Yeah, but that's what I do. I'm saying that's terrible. Right. And when you hit...

At least now, when you do that and you hit, I would like a receipt, they print the checks right there on the receipt. Well, you're keeping up with ATM technology. But back to the phone question. That's been around for a while, guys. Yeah. I think to make it deep for two seconds, I think we as a society believes fundamentally somehow that convenience is the supreme most valuable.

And so we're always going to create iterations and technology to make convenience supreme. Not just convenience, but also entertainment, right? Like I don't go to the bathroom without a phone. I don't. Oh, my goodness. I don't. I'll be done so fast. I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, I'll have to go out and be back with my family. I would have to wipe so quick. So, yeah, wipe the phones off the planet. Oh, my gosh. Wipe them off the planet. I think that most people, I'm curious. We do the, what do we call the duck, duck, duck goose game? Guess guess, goose.

A way different name. I just couldn't remember. I knew something like that. The guess, guess, guess goose, you set a line of what you think people believe in a situation. I wonder what we believe people would. If you pull, in fact, I'm going to put this tweet out right now and ask the question. It's going to be generational. If you got a tech, everyone in the world gets a text message.

And it says, you can wipe all the phones off the planet. And the only way this happens, you can vote yes or no. But the only way that it happens is everybody loses their phone. I wonder if it would be a majority. I wonder if it would be a majority. I believe that. And then they just disappeared. I think that almost everybody can recognize that we, the world,

ourselves, individuals would all be happier without them. You know what's funny, though, is a dumb phone wasn't that way, though. Like a dumb cell phone. Like a cell phone that just did phone calls? Yeah. It didn't impact society the same way. Oh, of course not. Because you can't be preoccupied with it.

You just get a phone call. You don't get a phone call. It doesn't matter. Yeah, and you can't even text. I mean, that would be probably the biggest. I think most people probably want to keep them, huh? Yes. I think the majority of people.

Because none of us have a problem. There's a difference. There's the, can you get people to admit that there are, there are huge problems in society now because of the phone. I bet you can get the overwhelming majority of adults to agree with that. We'll say, yeah, they are. And they'll say, okay, can we get rid of them? And they'll go, no, we cannot.

Because I got certain things that I can't live without personally. so I'm willing to keep the the giant societal problems so I have my phone. You're 100% right because you see this in schools already. We all know that kids shouldn't have them in school.

Everybody knows how bad that is, but parents still fight for their kid to keep their phone because they want constant communication with their kid or to feel like their kid is safe. They can text you at any minute. Yep. You go back to beepers. Oh, man.

I never got one. I was so jealous. What a loser. Yeah, beeper. It was, we were living large. It was a tiny little sliver of society. Yeah. Yeah.

Of time. Yeah. Did you have a chain? I did once. I did once. I had a tiny little page of chain that connected my belt loop. How often did the beeper get used? Oh my gosh.

Were your parents hitting that up all the time to get you home or something? No, not my parents, but this is how we would. Your friends? Yeah. All right. So I want your guys's prediction. 8-0-08, man. Because we were hilarious.

Yeah. Okay, so I tweeted this out with the same verbiage, knowing what you know now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the same verbiage, which is now covered out. If you had the power to flip the switch, would you rather live in a world with smartphones or without smartphones? I said, keep them or get rid of them.

I want your predictions on what the vote's going to come in at. Okay. Because you'll check it. Because I'll check it. You did this on Twitter. Correct. Okay. Give me the wording again.

Give me the wording again. So knowing what you know now. If you had the power to flip the switch, would you rather live in a world with smartphones or without smartphones? Option one, keep them. Option two, get rid of them. Your audience on Twitter, 60, 40, get rid of them. I'm going.

I'm going 70 plus is a key. Okay, so we got different sides. So check in later. Yeah, check in later. All right. Vanessa from Patreon, would you rather constantly have the taste of rotten milk in your mouth? Oh, what?

We go from deep philosophy. to rotten milk? That is the essence of this show. Or the smell of rotten milk on your nose. Oh, man. I mean, those are disgusting. The smell of rotten milk is worse. Now, maybe.

I don't think I know what the flavor of rotten. The smell of rotten. You're really getting the game. The smell of rotten milk has stopped me from ever experiencing the flavor of rotten milk. I have, yeah, I've smelled rotten milk a lot more than I've tasted it. And I, you've tasted rotten milk? On accident, yeah.

Like you put it in cereal and you chewing your milk? Sometimes it's, no, not to that degree, but sometimes the- Jockey. Sometimes the date's just wrong. Maybe somebody had left it out on the counter or something and you didn't know. And then you take one bite of cereal. I hadn't experienced the other day where my wife had a smoothie that she had made the day before that was still sitting on the counter and I thought it was the smoothie I had made that morning.

Oh, oh, how Borland. Oh, how was the taste? of rotten milk. It's not good, bro. Oh, man. So did you, uh, oh, no. Did you just spit it out or did you drink some of it? Uh, no, I did not swallow any of it. I spit it out. Okay. How much? And were you alerted to this only by the flavor? As soon as it hit the tongue. Yeah. How full is this smoothie? It was about three quarters of the way. A three quarter full smooth. It was just, that was left out. Yeah. Just got busy and left it on the counter. Yeah. That's, uh, so it was a, a lot of And they were in the same style cups.

Was it the temperature that got you? No. No, it's the flavor. You're telling me he's don't. Yeah. Oh, that's awful. They're using some fresh ingredients in that house that have gone bad. Wow.

And what was your retaliation? TBD. Okay. Still working on a plan. I don't put it under her pillow. I think that I'm not going to get sick physically ill and throw up and have problems from smelling it. I'm going to have those problems from drinking it. and eating it.

It'll be equal. But taste and smell are connected. That's what I mean. They are. No matter what. This is a lose, lose, lose. If you have the smell of rotten milk in your nose and you plug your nose, that's no way around this.

No, you're still going to. You're going to smell it through your mouth. Oh, man. I don't know what the taste of rotten milk is. And obviously, Jeremy. You've never tasted rotten milk. I can't recall it. Maybe I have in the past,

I can't recall it. Interesting. I know exactly. And I think everybody listening knows exactly the smell of milk that's gone bad. If something got left in a place, I can smell in the entire room. If there is the specific smell of milk or dairy that has gone bad is unacceptable. I can't take that. Is the reason you've never tasted that?

Do you treat your milk like you do, your socks where you want a new pair every day? Do you just open it up, pour your bowl, and throw it. the rest of it away. Yeah, of course. And then open up a new milk every time. I'm definitely, if the expiration date says it's today. Yeah, I'm curious. Are you, uh, no, no ice? That's going down a drain. I will drink it on that day, but I'll do a big smell. I'll bet you drink it after. You're doing a smell test, huh? It's like three days expired. You're going to smell that thing. I won't go past the date. You won't. Okay, good man. My wife will. Oh, I know so many people that are like it, you know, the date. It's like a form of bravery to them. The date is like, like,

Look at me. You know, in some things, we know that the expiration date is really just a... Best buy. It's a... Well, not only that, but it's a marketing tool. It's a way to get you to throw it out and buy more and all that. There's truth about some products. I'll eat some chips.

I'm going to eat potato chips past the date. I don't care. Are they stale? Are they not stale? That's the only thing that matters for potato chips. But not milk. Not meat. Stale chips aren't going to make you sick.

Right. They're just going to be gross. But yeah, like deli meat, lunch meat, past the date. No way. Get that slimy mess out of here. All right. I'm going to check back in with the poll. We're over 4,000 votes here.

And we have 59%. Oh, he's pumping his fist because he thinks he got it right. And he did. Get rid of them. The majority of people right now are saying get rid of them. So that's almost exactly what I predicted. Yeah. Almost.

Well, I was trying to think, like, your audience was not, if you polled people that were teenagers, people that were 15 to 20, you're not getting that result. They don't understand the life without it. Correct. Yeah. What was like that for our generation? What was something that we fundamentally needed that our parents would have fundamentally gotten rid of? Would it have been TV or movies? Yeah, but TV.

Nintendo. Well, okay, video games. Video games is the right answer. I feel like TV was actually embraced by our parents' generation. Because that's back when you'd have one TV and they'd watch it. Like the family would get around the TV. Yeah. But video games?

Yeah, I think it would be video games. And they probably would have said no. How many votes did you say you got on there, Jay? Oh, that was views. I see it now. A thousand votes. But it's still, I'll check back in. It's still way under 4,000.

I'll check back in at the end of the episode. Just misread it. All right. We'll take a break. We'll get into what's the difference. What's the difference? between me and you. All right.

We are experts at telling you the difference between three things. So let's begin here. What is the difference? Pay close attention here. All right. What is the difference between usually, typically, and most of the time? Usually. Usually.

Well, most of the time is most of the time. Typically, most of the time. So if I said to you, Mike, I always, I always, I always, drink, wait, let me try to put this. Always. Always is every time. I mean, yeah, you're right. Not really, not the way we actually use it. I usually drink, I usually drink coffee in the mornings. Okay. Okay. Or I drink coffee in the mornings most of the time. Which one is more? Ooh, between usually and most of the time? I usually drink coffee in the mornings or I drink coffee in the mornings. Most of the time is more than usual. It sounds more to finish.

Yes. Most of the time is a guarantee of a majority. 90? at the very least, it's a guarantee of a majority, because that's what it means. Usually can imply it, but it doesn't seem like a guarantee. If I say I usually eat cereal in the morning, you don't, maybe that could be 40% of the time. Let me do it this way. 365 days in a year.

You drink coffee most of the time in the morning. How many days a year do you drink it? 300 plus. 300 plus, Jason? So 300 out of 365, you'd be able to somebody, You'd say that's most of the time. That's the number that comes to mind. I usually drink coffee in the morning.

How many days of that 365 are you drinking coffee? Oh, usually. It's got to be more than half. 250 for usually. Yeah, 250's pretty good. I typically drink coffee. Typically is not used for. It's not in the same category.

No, it typically is not like a me thing. Typically is a world at large thing. It's like, uh, why you guys like? I don't know where you're going. Yeah, I don't, because you can't just say, I typically do this because then that's not the world large. That is very specific to me. Typically, I'm not saying you can't say it.

I'm saying that's... Typically, you buy what comes through your Instagram feed. I mean, people could say, like, I do, you know, good at something too, but they're just using the word improperly. Superman does good. So I think typically talks about more like... Oh, I see what you're saying like it's typical of a society. Exactly. So you're saying typically people drink coffee in the morning.

I am my own society, though. We know that. We know that. So you may use typically that's... I'm saying typically society believes they are their own society. Typically implies... That is also true. What is typical.

And typical is the most often done thing. Yeah. So... On society. On a societal level. But a typical... Something to be typical on a societal level has to be above 90%. Is there anything with...

Like, that's very typical of... It has to be more than one person. Like, let me put it this way. society's sake. Typically, people stop at stop signs. Okay, right. Agreed. What percentage of people have to stop at stop signs for that to be true?

80%. 90%. I think it's 90. I think it's 75. So you think 75 is typical. I'm saying that can be typical. That's very typical. So it's typical for people to have five fingers on their hand, not six.

So 25% of people can have six fingers on their hand. And that is That is, that would be very atypical. Mm-hmm. Is there anything to that typical can be used as an insult? Hmm. Yeah. The other words that you're like, hey, where was Jason?

Oh, he was, he's in the bathroom. Typical. Yeah. I'm not like, usual. Oh, Jason's in the bathroom. He went to the. That's true. It's not carrying.

It's not packing punch. Typical. Typical is more of an insult. consult. Jason's at the nickelback concert. Typical. Yeah. Typical.

Love me some nickelback. Hmm. This group. It's the only thing I know from nickel back. No. We got most of the time. He usually nailed. Typically.

We get this. Typically we get about two-thirds. Correct. So I think we're right on pace. I think you derailed the crap out of us with this. society versus individual thing. But I understand where you're coming from. When something is typical, it is not just a percentage.

It's comparative. Yeah, it's exactly. That's compared. That's what it's not necessarily societal, but it's comparative. Whereas, you know, the others can, they don't have to be. It can only be typical based on a standard. Exactly. I think we nailed all three. Yeah.

All right. What is the difference between something being in the air and being in the sky? That is our what's the difference? height. height being in the air yeah the sky's up there the sky's way up there way i can catch a little bit of air yeah yeah it is it's also up there yeah but the sky's not down here the air up there yes but the sky's not down here no it's up there is up there and the air is down here but the sky is only what's the is it a amount of feet i think it's can you see the horizon from where you're at

you have to be high enough to be able to see the entire horizon but you could just be out and looking out into the ocean and I can see the horizon. Let me just. And I'm on the ground. Okay. Let me, let me lay this out. Not the perfect parameter. If you're on the ground right here, you're also on the ground at the top of Mount Everest.

But from the ground, the top of Mount Everest area is the sky. Yes. But if you're on Mount Everest, is it above you or is the sky below you? Well, the sky's still above you. There's still enough sky. Well, the sky is obviously also above you. But isn't the sky also below you? No.

You're standing where- Can never be below you. But how many feet is that? Like 18,000 feet up in the air? Sky can be below you. No. Of course it can. If you're in an airplane.

Yeah, if you're an airplane, Mike. The sky is not also below you? Is the sky still only above you? If you're in an airplane, you're in the sky. You are in the sky. Because there are no. You're not under the sky. But you're unnaturally in the sky.

Yeah, but you're not a man. mountain. But you're not under the sky. There's still sky above me. Sure. I said that, but there's also sky below you. Can you get to the air? Can you peek? This airplane. It's an airplane, guys. Oh, it's not a sky plane. It's an airplane. Shoot. Can you get to the, like, Truman Show top of the sky? Oh, like the, the dome? Yeah, can you, like, are you ever not in the sky? There's no sky in the

Truman Show. No. Right. No, you can hit the top of the dome for sure. And then you're in space. Yes, it's when the air runs out. So if you see somebody up in space, so wait, a rocket goes from air to sky to space? Correct. Yes. But when it is in the sky, it still is air. Air is in the sky.

At what? It's really just a... Eventually, eventually it's not. No, I know, but no, air is not in space. Right. Right. But it also thins out. At what level do you start suffocating?

Is that your air to sky ratio? I think that might be it. I think that might be it. Probably 25,000 feet. That's my guess. Google that. 30,000? Like where, what's the height where people just, you can't survive up there anymore?

Breathable max amount of altitude. Looks about 26,000 feet. Okay. Nailed that too. That's a good guess. Nailed that too. So that's what, that's the sky. So if you can't breathe, you're saying, you're in this.

That's what I'm saying. Okay, you're saying that under 26,000 feet is not sky? Right. That's just air? Man, it feels. It feels kind of right. I think that's kind of right. Hold on.

Hold on. Can clouds? But I wouldn't think. Where are clouds? Clouds are in the sky. Clouds can be in the air. Birds fly in the sky. No, birds fly in the way.

No, you know how I feel. That's all I thought of too. It's funny. In the words. No, I know. It's close enough, baby. No, birds catch air, man. Birds are in the sky.

You're telling me that an eagle is not flying in the sky. So then the sky, the sky is just where you can't naturally jump to. If you can't jump and touch it, it's the sky then. The sky's higher than that. I'm moving it way down. You move from 26,000 feet to like four feet. You can't touch the rim. It's like in the sky's at nine feet.

Yeah, rim's in the sky. Oh, man. So, like, when does a bird go from in the air to the sky? See, the thing. Because if you're saying if it's just flying, a bird can fly very low. So we have been using sky wrong is what I'm learning. Sky, we think sky is low. Sky is not low.

Sky is 26,000 feet. Yeah, and we do say sky high. Sky high. Hmm. Now, is there a problem that ain't no skyscraper going to 26,000 feet? That's true. They are skyscrapers. But they only scrape the sky.

They can't even get to it. But they're not 26,000 feet. So if they're scraping it, how high up is it? All right. So what's the tallest building? It's the one in Dubai. The Caliph, whatever. That's 2,700 feet.

That's not very much. You got a 10x that bad boy? Yeah, I think maybe that's, maybe the sky starts at the highest building. highest building. Okay. So we've moved the sky with our... We have been moving the sky.

Industrial... I believe they are building a new one that will move the sky a little higher. Where are we moving the sky? 3,000? Who's building? Can we get the sky to 3,000 feet? Yeah, I think we're going to get it to 3,000. I'm gonna...

I'm on it. Why are we doing this? Why don't we build the biggest skyscraper on top of the biggest mountain? That's what I want to know. Because it's still... Foundation, probably. They're going to call it cheating. and the build will be very difficult.

Yeah. It'll be cold. All right. Last one, guys. What is the difference between steps, instructions, and directions? Follow these steps. We're going to 3281.

Yeah, nice. A thousand meters. Who's doing this? Saudi Arabia. Why are we doing this? Competition. That's what we do. Right.

What is the difference between following steps, following instructions, and following directions? This is a tough one, guys. steps feels like they need to be limited to it like instructions and directions can be an unlimited amount I feel like steps cannot be

you can't follow these 35 steps there's steps in instructions though right? Yes of course yes interesting is there steps in directions no only when you're walking well directs

thank you that's not funny he got it was he got it swish that's not funny it was good I mean, ultimate dad joke,

but... So dumb. Yeah. No, that was, look, the people... Which one seems

most complicated to you? Instructions. Instructions are always going to be the most complicated. I never understand that. I feel like directions can be given orally.

Yeah. But it's like there's only... You're giving somebody directions. You cannot give instructions orally. Right? Right. Yeah. But like directions is there's only so many things that direction can be.

Directions don't have to be like where to go though. It doesn't? No. A direction can't. You give direction. They're directors that give direction. They're not telling people where to walk on the street. They're directing.

They tell them where to go. Yeah, they do tell them they're like to move to this mark. And what to do. A director of something tells people what to do. Not necessarily where to go. I don't think a director, if you're talking about a movie director, I don't think that they think to themselves, I give directions. Like that's not.

But directions, I'm just saying. The definition is 100% like not just where to go. All right. So we got a widen. I thought I had it. Steps are the smallest. Yes. You can have a three-step process.

Correct. That's actually used as a feature, right? A simple two-step process. Yeah. There's no instructions. If it's only, if you put a number in front of the steps, those are not instructions. Yeah. Oh, then I prefer those a lot.

Yeah, it's great. It makes me feel, except. I mean, an instruction. they come in an instruction manual. Right, because there's a lot. And a manual's a book. Do directions come in a manual? There's no direction manual.

No. So when a person is telling you how and what to do it's a direction, if it's a book, it's an instruction. Yeah, it's written down. Except some people are instructors. Yeah. And they instruct with books. They do have books in their class. I mean, instructors all have their books.

Yeah. Directors is heart. Yeah. Steps one page max. Mike's onto this. This is. Directions are about the heart, about the mind. Instructions are about the book and the process and the writing it down.

It's cold. Instructions suck. You ever in life been looking for direction? Yeah. Yeah. Still am, man. Still am. Still am.

All right. We'll take a break. We'll draft. The Spitballers Draft. All righty, Jason. You have to let us know. We are drafting foods to eat without you. The best foods to eat without utensils, but we don't know if we're drafting a meal or a free-for-all here.

We can pick anything we want. What are we doing? I think we're going to build a meal. So what is the items we need to have? So we're going to have an entree? Oh, crap. Entree. We're going to have a dessert.

Dessert. Okay. And we're going to have two sides. Two smaller. Small, two non-ontres that aren't desserts. Perfect. No, we got it. Cool.

The difference between. So you get the first pick in this non-utensal. We said two sides? Correct. Okay. So we're all sitting down at six sides. At a table, but there ain't no utensils here. No.

And you can't order any foods you'd need them for. I think so. I've gone back and forth on... Pick one? Pick one. On what the 101 is. There's, you know, as far as the entree, I've really been focused on the entree here.

and there are there are at least three kind of one-on-ones. I agree with that. I mean, there are three. You might not go Entree here thinking you'll be fine. You know,

because we can only all pick one-on-trade. Exactly. That wasn't where I was going. But thank you for that. Thank you for that. Because I would be happy with all three of them. There is one, though, that out of respect should be the first one drafted. So,

I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it. Because you should not use a knife and a fork, and some people do, for pizza. Okay. Pizza should be utensiless. And so even though. Foods to eat without utensils, pizza number one. Is Chicago Deep Dish pizza?

No. That's a pie. Okay. Okay. If I mean Chicago Deep Dish. It doesn't mean that that category can't have some exceptions. It just means of all the foods you eat without utensils. All right.

He's taking pizza. I'm taking pizza. Which is a great pick. Thank you. I'm going to go, I'm going to go with the side first. Okay. French fries. Yep.

I'm taking French fries with my first pick. I want to grab one. We have to draft two sides. What if you put animal style on that? You're going to want that fork. See, I don't, I feel like it really takes away. From French fries. From French fries.

Like I ordered some fries the other day. It was from a food truck. It was a Greek food truck. And it was called fries and sauce. It was a bucket of fries. and then they put a bunch of sauce on it and give you a fork. It's just every individual one I took out, delicious. Eating them with a fork, not as good.

You know what? As stupid as that sound. It is, I think it's stupid. It's stupid. It's actually true. Yeah. I know exactly what you're saying. The same fry.

Yeah, same fries. You take them one at a time and they're enjoyable. But as soon as you put a fork, in fact, if you take, no, no, no, I was going to correct. I was going to correct myself. Even if you take three or four at a time. with your hands. It's called typical. It's good. But as soon as you bite the fry off a fork, it doesn't taste as good. I'm with you. What a great pick. Thanks. You're really brought me around.

I'm going French fries as my side, Mike. You got two in a row. All right. So I mean, the game says I probably got to, I want to play, get some sides here. So you went with fries. All right. You got to eat with your hands. Okay. So I'm going to take. I'm going to go with wings As one of my sides Okay yeah Yeah rings to be a meal Not in this house

Wings are a side Oh you get the wings as a side Wings or a side That's a great thing No that's that's uh You're not getting a lot of them As a side But you're getting some

I'll take six You have four Four Who gives four wings Well if it's a side But it's always six or 12 No one for a meal No no one sells four wings

You're not getting any If you want six wings You don't get celery Oh no Oh Oh I love the celery with wings What kind of wings are you getting what flavor?

Dude I mean I'm usually a buffalo man But what is it Lemon pepper Uh huh Like the dry rub You're really getting into that How is people have not explained properly

How delicious lemon pepper wings Oh my god What do you get them from Brother? It doesn't matter Oh. It doesn't matter. Just when you, if you see, if you go to place that as wings.

As a man who doesn't like lemon desserts, lemon peppers, because lemon desserts are sweet. Lemon pepper, it's savory. Okay. It's, oh, it's, oh, lemon. So you're going wings. And the best part of that, the best part of that is that they are the dry rub, almost always, the lemon pepper.

Look, maybe I'm just old and I've aged out of wanting, 100% because of that. Sassy fingers, but I love a dry rub. And if this is for, without utensils, all the better. Yeah. All the better. Yeah. This doesn't say no napkins, though.

He can grab a napkin. All right. Wings as a side for Mike. You ever seen someone fork and knife a wing? No. No. I have seen it, but it's not. A wing?

I've seen it. They don't want to get their hands dirty. I mean, ribs, sure. They were kicked out of the restaurant. Okay, okay. All right. Then we're going to go. Trying to think of.

Okay, so if we're going with hands, I'm going to go with, chaco chip cookies. Okay, okay, going cookies. Yeah, I'm going to go what I think is. You don't eat that with any utensils. That's a great pick. No, we don't.

Crumble. Ooh, ooh. Well, yeah, Crumble is really pushing the whole, like, cookie to like a cake. Crumble is always, always requires a utensil. Yes. You need a knife. There will be a day when we're like, if we could wipe Crumble off the entire world, should we do it?

And then a bunch of people go, Yes, please. Help bars. All right. So you went chocolate chip cookies, getting your dessert out of the way. You got a side. We're up to 61.5% on get rid of them. Okay.

Okay. 2,5009 exact votes. I have French fries as a side. Sample matters, Jason. Yeah. Jason's already got his entree. He does. I don't need to go entree here.

I'm going to go with my dessert because I wouldn't be caught dead without it. Ice cream cone. Oh, okay. No utensils. You thought I couldn't get ice cream. Yes, I can. It's in a cone. You tricked us, you devil.

So I've got French fries and ice cream cone. A great start, I think. Jason, you got pizza. You've got two picks. You ever dip your fries in the ice cream? Not in the cone. Not in a cone. No one does that.

Yeah, that's absurd. How dare you? Although, if you want to make that cone out of French fries, I might eat it. I might eat it. Yes, I might. I will eat it. A salty French fries cone. Give me that fridge rock cone.

I'm going to eat that cone. All right. You're on to something. All right, Jason. All right. So I've got two pigs here. I've got two picks. I know one of them.

I'm going to take my dessert. Okay. Because it's pretty much my favorite treat. Yeah. And you can't really fork a knife of churro. Yeah. I figured charles eat. I was like, you're bread pudding.

No, I'm going to need utensils from a bread pudding. strategically terrible decision. Does Mike have his dessert? We all got dessert. But now you do too. Yeah. What an idiot. Yep, Mr. Churros got it.

Well, you're giving it respect with your number two pet. I'm just trying to respect the game. I'm not playing games here. It's not helping you with your messy fingers, though. No. Or my shirt. My shirt is usually covered in the cinnamon. I thought he uses the shirt to hold the actual chiro.

No. That'll keep my feet. Finger size and clean? Jay, have you been eating churros? Everyone always knows. Fingerprints on the shirt. All right. What are you talking about?

My hands are clean. Look, whether you're strategically right or not, pizza and churro as a combo is pretty good. All right. So I'm going to take a side. And it's, I mean, I'm thinking what can I eat without utensils that. I really can't even attempt to eat with utensils. It's just impossible.

And that's going to be chips. We'll just call it dip. Chips and salsa or whatever. Chips and dip. Chips and dip. You can't go chips of salsa or it's one of the two. Oh, really? Salsa is not a dip.

Salsa's not a dip. Salsa is not a dip. It's a salsa. Look, Al is like going, yeah. That's true. I'm with Mike on that. Thank you, Al. Chips and salsa and chips and dip are totally different things.

Both are great. They're both great. it's funny how many more options I get with dip, but if I don't get salsa, I'm going chips and salsa. Chips and salsa. For sure. You're going chips and sauce and sauce over like a chips and a queso? Yep, 100%.

Oh, man. The only problem is that chips and salsa are universalized as free. And so it denigrates them. You think they're not as valuable as others. But the truth is, they're more enjoyable. I go to a restaurant and I'm wanting something nice. so I, like, don't get chips and salsa when I see it. But then I always wish I just had some chips of salsa.

Yeah. I feel like dips are just more, like, indulgent. Like, if you eat, if you, if I really dip the way I want to dip, I'm eating too much dip. But salsa doesn't feel like, it feels like you're doing an okay thing. Yeah, it's just vegetables. Yeah. Yeah. See what I, I'm just back in your point.

Yeah. Great pick, Jason. Thank you. Um, you've got to pick. Or it's back to me. Yes. Because you just took two. All right.

I got french fries and ice cream. I don't. I've got two entrees that I'm okay with. Yeah, I said there were three at the beginning. I think one I prefer more to eat and one's maybe a better pick for this foods without utensils. But I will go with, I'm going to go with, I've already got fries. So I'm going to go with burger. Nice.

I was so hoping you would keep that from Mike because I know that would have been his. Oh, that was immediately. That's one of the big three. Yeah. That is. I mean, literally, burger, fries, and ice cream. I am pretty much American. I'm as American as they come.

I'm going to eat that. All right, Mike, you got wings, chocolate chip cookies, and you get to make your, you need an entree and a side. All right. For my side, I think we're going a little bit off. I don't know if you guys will have this on the list tonight. You should because we talk about this all the time. We have a rule when we travel.

If we sit down. Yeah, if it's on the menu. It's on my list. order, so I'm getting me some devil d' eggs, maybe. You got it on the 100%. It was on your list. Yes. Oh, dude, devil dags are so good.

I think we have shared this rule together, where if it's on a menu at a restaurant, you get it because. I'm with you. I completely agree because they're rarely on a menu. It's rarely on a menu, and a place isn't going to put it on the menu unless they're like, this is a specialty. Yeah. There are only a few food categories, though, where, like, at a certain restaurant, if you order

it, you're like, I could get sick from that. Oh, you're getting the devil egg. The deviled eggs is definitely one of them. And the burps. Yeah. I mean, that deviled eggs, it's called devil for a reason because it visits you on both sides. Okay. All right.

Just like the devil. One more pick, your entree. Okay, for the entree, I don't know which power trio you guys have, but I will take a burrito. That's fine. I was more on the taco. I was on the taco. Okay, but same concept. Well, the difference being that peak non-utensal food.

Exactly. You literally can't eat it. it if you're eating it with a fork you don't work that's a taco ball. That's not a taco. You got to break it up. The only thing that makes it a taco is how you lift it up. You're on a heater over here with your voices

man. I will if it were not for caloric or punishment, I would get the brito every time. So I sometimes I go to the tacos because I feel like it's less food. Feel like it. Yeah. It's not. Well, the

Chipotle three tacos is definitely not as much rice and beans and stuff as the burrito. So it's not as punishing. You went burrito though, right? Yes. Okay. Because Al put down taco. No.

What are we doing here? That's what I call a burrito. All right. My final pick, I need another side. Okay. I'm going to go with the other thing. I feel like Mike almost always orders on a menu if it's sitting there. I'm going to go with mozzarella sticks.

Oh, yes. I love mozzarella sticks. That was my next pick, man. Oh, man. Yeah, I will just tell you. I mean, you can take it if you want because you need another side, but popcorn was in consideration. That was between mozzarella and popcorn. But popcorn is, because I'm building a meal at a plate and I'm looking at a plate, I'm not going to order a little pile of popcorn.

That was 100% why I wanted mozzarella sticks. But if we're just dropped in foods without utensils, popcorn. No, no one does. No, of course not. But foods without utensils. We are in the exact sync because food to eat without utensils. popcorn would be as silly as anything imaginable to eat with. I mean, I guess you do is a spoon?

Yes, so you need a big spoon. Yeah. So that, but now I feel like I can't take popcorn. Thanks, Andy. Yeah, I totally down-talked. You could, but you're not getting. I've just never seen it served on a plate next to some other things. Yeah.

Makes a little harder. I guess I'll just go with a different, you've got your French fries and mozzarella sticks. I got to get a fried thing. You can go chips and dip. and go back. You could get them both here. That's tempting. Just want all the chips.

This is like I should have just ordered the trio, you know? Yeah. That was my bad. I'm going to go with. The trio always comes with at least one you don't want. I'm going to go. And they never let you sub. With the popcorn of the table, which is cheese curds.

Oh, okay. The popcorn of any sophisticated table. It's very fancy. Yeah. Just like, you know. Oh, what's it got to do with popcorn? It's just tiny morsels. That's what I'm saying.

Like popcorn chicken or whatever. I'm just saying that's what makes it hard to eat with a, you know, I was going to take. We're not violating the mozzarella stick integrity. No, no, those are separate products. They are complete. I mean, they're the exact same thing. But they are two different products. Well, they're different cheeses as well.

Because a mozzarella sticks is always mozzarella. You're not cheese curds are not mozzarella. I think sometimes they are. Really? I mean, like, whenever I used to get them from chilies back in the day, that was... Cheddar is typical. Is it a white cheddar? Cheddar is typical.

It can be made from other cheeses if desired. The people in Wisconsin right now... Young cheddar cheese. Other cheeses like Colby, Monterey Jack, Brick, and Monster. They ain't no mozzarella. No, they're not the same. Monticellera sticks are named after the cheese. Right.

You can't do cheddar and call it a mozzarella stick. Cheddar? Here's a little... That's a cheddar stick. You call it fried cheese. A cheese card doesn't have to be as hot as a mozzarella stick does to be good. Cheese cards can be eaten cold. Yes.

When they're not breaded. Not breaded. Those are just weird. I don't know why they have it. They're not as nationwide as mozzarella sticks. I feel like cheese cards are very underappreciated. Yeah. I agree.

Like they're not getting the big cheese cart isn't getting the word out. They got to get in the apple bees or the chilies. That's what broke mozzarella sticks wide open. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah.

Jason with pizza as his entree. TGIs got cheese curds yet? Chips and salsa and cheese curds as its sides and chiro as his dessert. I have burger as my entree with some French fries and mozzarella sticks and some, an ice cream cone for dessert. And Mike, you've got an entree of a burrito with wings and devil-de-hakes. You didn't think of it. out of those knits.

Oh, brother. I've never seen somebody do like a nice, because you will never see that person again. And then you're rounding it out with some chocolate chip cookie. You take down that three pack? Bro. You're going to hope that cell phones have not disappeared from this planet because you're going to be on one for a while.

You're calling out the next two days. The idea of washing down burritos and wings with some eggs is something special. There are lots of other good picks, obviously. I mean, hot dog didn't get dressed. drafted. I feel like that. It's up there. I feel like if it wasn't a meal draft, hot dog would have been picked. Oh, for sure. Same with popcorn. Agreed.

I thought somebody might take some fruit or like a banana as a side. I had fruit on there. Because it's, you know, like made to be without. I really wanted a corn on the cob, but in truth, even though it's not a fork, spoon or knife. Oh, yeah, those are utensils if you put them in. Yeah, those little corn on the cob holders. Those are clutch. I don't want to eat a corn on the cob without those. You would have had to. You and your messy fingies. I thought it's more about the heat.

Like it's a good corn on the cob. If you're making it home. You were like you were talking about the wings. It is the heat. It should be piping hot. Should be ready to burn your mouth. All right. Any other considerations?

There's another heat problem. I had donuts. I think that was it for me. Okay. What did we learn today? I learned that the sky starts. at 2,717 feet but is about to move up. I learned that at least among our generation,

a majority of people would like to delete all phones off of the planet. 60.9% of them. Wow. We're not there yet. We're still moving up, though. Yeah, yeah. Still moving up. I didn't learn anything.

Learned what a scat doesn't sound like. Yeah. Oh. Did you dog whistle it? Yeah, yeah. It was the frequency was so. He's going to love that scat. Take care, everybody.

Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballerspod.com.