Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: A Clumsy Jedi & The Best Chocolate Based Foods - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

Spit Hit for December 21st, 2023: Would you rather be too bored all the time or too busy all the time? Hear how we feel about that on today’s episode. We also talk about backup food, donut farts, and the worst jedi ever. We then share some insane real life news stories and draft the best chocolate based foods. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Okay Brought that jet in for a Crash landing Welcome in One and all I mean it was pretty incredible

Thank you Jason You went in and out Of like being in time Thank you But you. You went in and out of being in time. Thank you. But you just... Yeah. I don't know. There are certain kind of phonetic sounds that I avoid at all times during a scat.

Okay. Being... But like a foofah or something. Like he hits... Did he hit a foofah? He hits some of the phonetic sounds that I am not familiar with in a scat, and I just think it's courageous. It's like real jazz.

I don't stay on the rhythm. What it means to me is right. And so it doesn't matter if you liked it. That was my truth. That was a power scat. A power scat? A power scat power scats what everyone just experienced you're welcome you really went for a ride there bumpy landing yeah uh spitballers episode 201 thank you for tuning into the incredible episode 200 put together by al

borland himself and uh very well received very i mean we didn't know it was going to happen, so we had a blast discovering some new segments that may stick around. Yes, some very fun games we played. And then the people at the end of the show with some really kind words. Yeah, it was awesome. And today we have Would You Rather Is This Real Life and a draft of chocolate-based products. So stay tuned for that.

You can find the show on Twitter at spitballers pod, Instagram.com slash spitballers pod and, uh, the community at spitballers pod.com. Let's go. Would you rather Teresa from Patreon? Would you rather be Teresa from Patreon. Would you rather be the world's greatest martial artist? On Earth, the greatest.

Or the galaxy's worst Jedi? I like this question. What's funny is I want to know right out of the gate what you picture immediately in your mind when you think of the galaxy's worst Jedi. Because for me, it is somebody that is a Jedi that is super clumsy. Yep. Exactly.

Dropping the lightsaber. It's like Jar Jar has a lightsaber. Jar Jar Binks. You are... Yes, I mean... You're accidentally force moving things all over. You know how you can run into a table, knock something off?

Yeah. Now you're just expanded a hundredfold. Things can fall all around you. Like, ah, dang it. I dropped that chandelier over there. Very classic Jedi situation. Right. In a ballroom.

Yeah. The Star Wars galaxy known for its chandeliers. But I do have a lightsaber, correct? Oh, of course. You're a Jedi. I mean, someone's going to have to try and talk me into this world's greatest martial artist.

What comes with that? You've probably, as this clumsy Jedi, you probably have severed a couple fingers. As long as they're not mine. No, your own. Oh, well, that's a problem. The greatest martial artist, you probably have severed a couple fingers. As long as they're not mine. No, your own. Oh, well, that's a problem. The greatest martial artist, you're just revered as the greatest on Earth, and no one can beat you up. Well, that's what I see.

That was what was exciting to me. But you don't have a lightsaber. About this first part is like, if I'm the greatest martial artist on the world, like this isn't like, oh, I'm looked at that way this is i am okay i am the best so i'm in the ufc ain't nobody could beat me that's the pinnacle for you well sure absolutely i mean how are you against chandeliers well i mean isn't that the pin what would be the pinnacle of you're a movie star too sure give it the greatest martial artist has to be a movie star and they also have to just be uh i don't know you just beat everybody

up yeah you're not afraid of nothing but you're i mean if would you use those powers in everyday life like would you get out of bed and do like a triple kick on your way to the what like the light switch well more yeah i'm not turning the light switch on with my hand. That's what I mean. Like, on the way to the bathroom, are you doing a front flip just on the way? If I could do a front flip, I think I'd do it every room. I mean, off the bed?

That's just in life. If I could easily just... I know I could do a front flip anytime I want. I'm guessing every four or five steps, it's got to be a front flip. Do they make houses that are more conducive for ninjas, like to jump around to things? I'm sure you could do that.

You're the world's greatest martial artist. You can go to your contractor and say, you make this or else. Yeah, I feel like you'd need a lot of, I don't know, roofs to jump between or something. Think about the monetary implications here okay okay obviously if you are the world's greatest martial artist you can win in competition and have giant purses from uh massive pay-per-view buys or movie star you are renowned and revered. The monetary is clear. Now, on the other side, how could a Jedi side,

are you just, is there any way to get financial gain by this? Of course. A Jedi would never take financial gain. How dare you? Look, a Jedi could. I'm a bad Jedi. Here's the world's worst Jedi. I just figured it out.

It is not a clumsy Jedi. Here's the world's worst Jedi. I just figured it out. It is not a clumsy Jedi. It is a really petty, gone bad Jedi that just pickpockets people with the force and spends it on drugs. Okay. As you started talking, I realized we might just be talking about Vader here. Like, the world's worst Jedi might just be Darth Vader. Okay.

Yeah, they go bad. So, world's martial artists, but at least if you're the worst in the galaxy, that implies that I'm traveling through space. Yeah. I mean, there's some other benefits. That would be pretty cool. I'm going to go Jedi. I think the question comes down to the real truth

and the heart of this question is who wins in a fight? The Jedi. You think? Yes. Actually, I was thinking about that question a little differently is who wins in a fight? The Jedi. You think? Yes. Actually, I was thinking about that question a little differently where I'm stuck in a fight and I need to go get somebody to help me. Am I choosing the world's worst Jedi or the world's best martial artist to help me?

You're choosing the best martial artist. No, you're choosing the person with the laser sword. Probably the laser sword. Wait, so you're just going to murder these fools? You were just talking about how you could beat anybody up. That's different. They get up and they walk away just 20 seconds later. You're trying to keep your enemies alive here?

You're cutting them in half. So you're the Batman method of, I'm not actually. I'm just knocking people out. That's right. I just dropped them off a roof, but they're fine. A man of principles over here. Is that how you fight your wars? No guns.

All right, I'm Jedi. He's sleepy. Jedi final answer, Mike. It's the Jedi. It's so easy. Jason. It's the Jedi. Thank you.

Laser sword. Skyler from, oh, by the way I watched that uh Adam Project movie on Netflix finally with the family have you seen that one Ryan Reynolds Jason oh yes I have I have where is the younger version of himself that weapon he has in there that's very close to a uh yeah oh we got a laser sword it's very yes it's nice it's a nice weapon does it go sort of kind of yeah a little and it, does it retract? Yeah. Yeah.

It's basically a... It's got a lot of metal worked into it, but it's nice. It's like a laser staff. It's pretty neat. Now, getting back to this World's Worst Jedi bit... Oh, no. We're back. What happens when you try to use, like, the mind...

You know what I mean? Like, you will not remember this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you wave your hand. Okay. Does that, like, sear the memory into the person? You probably say it wrong on accident. You will remember this.

Oh, no. Oh, dang gummit. Skyler from Twitter, would you rather be able to instantly cook any food to perfection or be able to change what food is the moment it hits your stomach? So when food hits your stomach, it can become vegetables or healthy food. So the burger is now carrots or whatever. I mean, it's got to be that, right? It's that over all things.

Yeah, but hold on. Let me just walk you through this. Okay. You're sitting on the couch. Yeah. They're sitting on the couch late at night. Just snap dragons and then right there. I mean, you just snap your fingers and you've got a filet mignon perfectly cooked to order.

That sounds nice. Yeah. And when it hits your stomach, it's a filet mignon perfectly cooked to order. That sounds less nice. I will happily wait for the delivery person to arrive at my house and give me a delicious, arrive at my house and give me a delicious albeit slightly later meal that once it hits my stomach is grilled chicken and vegetables with no butter i mean we're talking pure health i'm gonna be the healthiest man alive and i'm doing that via drive-thrus and delivery services is this an automatic thing or do i have to remember and time it right while the food is going into my stomach and I have to make a command?

No, it's like when Batman goes down the fire pole and he becomes Batman at the bottom. When the food goes down the fire pole. So the esophagus turns it into that. It turns it into that on the way down. Now, it is a funny thought to be like, oh, I'm just going to stop by the Jack in the Box for some broccoli and grilled chicken on the way home.

Because you're not getting that. No. But that's what you're getting. What am I getting? I'll tell you. Tacos, curly fries, sourdough Jack, and everything on the late night menu. And man, am I healthy. Oh, that sounds fantastic.

I'm really giddy right now at the prospect of this. Get the scientists on this. Did you, you still doing the backup door dash? Oh, yeah. You got to have a backup plan. What's the backup door dash? Well, it's just like you order one and then. What if it doesn't happen?

What if it doesn't show up? You order the second one from another place. Yeah, you just got to be prepared. And how often is the backup door dash being placed? Oh, it's every time. I mean, because. How are you not broke? No, this is not real.

It's more of a, I'm making a joke. But I do 100% of the time when I order food from a Postmates door dash, whatever the case may be, I order one extra of a main course every time. A main course? Whatever the case may be i order one extra of a main course every time a main course whatever the case may be just in case something doesn't show up now you're okay and i it has come through clutch so many times where one item from the order doesn't show up and there's a backup meal i mean because what's the worst that can happen you throw it into the fridge the worst that could and you got another meal is the best that happens, which is I get one more meal than I should have right now for dinner. Which is really the pinnacle of life.

Right. So long as that could change the broccoli in my stomach. I think I have to go with that one. Eating something that's delicious. If I eat ice cream every night and it ends up healthy for me, come on. Yeah. What? If this happened, what would we eat?

What would people... Would we become tired of the stuff that... Jason, would your diet change? Oh, yes, it would. It would get worse? Dude, I could go so much worse than I am. I could... I'm a man with restraints.

I have... I could eat so much worse than I do. I mean, I... Well, you could actually eat more quantity then because it would not add... No, because your stomach would still be full though. Yes, but you wouldn't be... The fat content in the meals would be eliminated. If I fill my stomach with...

Yeah, if he eats broccoli all day long? Broccoli and cauliflower and apples. Broccoli farts, man. Well, yeah, you would get the farts of the food it's converted into that's that's in the stomach that's all i will live with that and all the bms that's that's healthy i'm happy to do it what donut farts aren't much better mike what if this was converted donut farts what if this was changed over to you could cook any food to perfection and let's let's give you even more power here um You can cook any food to perfection

and it just shows up in front of you. Or every food gets changed into broccoli on the way down. Just broccoli. I wonder if that could be seriously unhealthy. Like if you only ate broccoli and nothing else forever the rest of your life, assuming you can't take supplements and other vitamins and whatever. Yeah, that would be bad for you.

Yeah, it's funny to think that would be probably really unhealthy. So I'm going to need my donuts back. I need protein. Yeah. Like donuts. Ant-Man from the website. Bacon on top of the donut. There's some protein.

Ant-Man from the website. Would you rather be bored all the time or too busy all the time? Oh, man. Oh, Ant-Man from the website. Would you rather be bored all the time or too busy all the time? Oh, man. Oh, Ant-Man. You've chosen the right show to ask this question because I think you have two different people. At least two different people on this show that would choose a different answer. Well, I have been both of these in my lifetime like early 20s my entire dream and life goals were simply to do as little as possible did you accomplish that i yes there were many years it was like work enough

to pay the bills and then just be very lazy and it's it's it's a good run if there's there's a while there where you're very happy and content with it but it does it does grow old quickly well the the problem here and i know where andy's going he's assuming that i'm on the i'd rather be bored all the time than too busy andy would rather be too busy than bored all the time i was genuinely the opposite oh i was actually thinking the actual opposite. I'm always trying to carve stuff out of my life to have more margin. I always feel like you have a lot going on, which means that you must like having a lot going on. Well, then you are right.

Because... That's the one you would pick. Yeah, I love doing nothing. When I get those times to relax and like I I don't have anything going on I I cherish those but the question is would you rather be bored all the time in those moments those relaxing uh reprieves from busyness I'm not bored but I right like it everybody I can get bored and if I'm bored it's the worst so I I feel like at that point if I'm bored, it's the worst. So I feel like at that point, if I'm busy all the time, I'm at least filling my life with activities and things that hopefully make an impact on life, humanity, the world. Yeah, so I think I would rather be too busy all the time, even though I hate that.

I mean, you got to pick one so you find an inherent um an implicit value in busyness yes i hope so i mean you can you it just depends on what you're filling your time with you can right fill it with a too many kids birthday parties and then oh yeah oh man yeah yeah how about half and half? That's not. It's not. Would you rather. Would you like to have a well-balanced life?

Mike, which one? Which one? Because both. I think the truth is both. You pay the price for both. Boredom is rough. If I'm bored, that's saying like, I just, I can't. Nothing is drawing my interest. You're just puddling around the house going like, I just, I can't, nothing is drawing my interest. You're just puddling around the house going like, I have nothing to do.

Have you ever been so bored that you just like do laps in your house? I've, I would say, I would say, I would say yes, except for I do the laps in the backyard. Okay. I'll do, I'll do the cursory walk around the backyard. I've got nothing to do. And you know what? I end up finding some like drip line leaks or something. I find something out there.

Yeah, that's valuable. I have... So I hate walking, as you know. But I have done the meander from room to room. Oh, yes. Where you're just like... Are you looking for something to do or are you just looking around? I'm looking for... I'm waiting for something to find me usually is i walk into my

bedroom i wait a second nothing's speaking to me how far in do you go oh i'll go all the way um you're looking for food make it over to the bed no food in here so i walk back out of the room head towards the kitchen not there yet I'm in the living room. And I go, I don't see anything on the couch to eat. So keep walking. And then, lo and behold, I find that delicious kitchen. Sometimes I'll do the meandering to find something to do. But my bar is real low.

So I'll walk around the backyard. I'll be like, oh, that tree needs to be trimmed. Oh, I need a ladder. Forget that. Oh, yeah. If you find another step, it's out. And one more step and it's no thank you. But if I can pull it off while I'm there.

Yes. I'll twist that knob. I'll tighten that thing if I'm there. If you're there. But you find the step that stops you from doing it and you move somewhere and you're like, oh, I'm so bored. If only there was something to do. That ladder's all the way in the garage.

Well, let me tell you how to solve that problem. What you need to find is not things where it's like, oh, there's a step or two to get it done. It's I need something I don't have to do this task.

Ooh, because then you get to shop. Then you just get to go shopping. And then it's like, well, it's going to be days before that gets here. So got to look for something else. Josiah from Patreon. Would you rather string your opponent along for an entire fight or crush them from the beginning? So I want you to think about this one in regards to this is like kind of your

mortal enemy and you have an anticipated fight what is the bigger dunk is it big is it a bigger dunk to crush them from the beginning or is it to string them along and then finish them at the end i i think i know the clear true right answer in this but i because i'm so clear on this i want to hear your guys' thoughts before. To me, this is Muhammad Ali or Mike Tyson. Sure, okay. Again, I'm not a Ali buff, but I'm just thinking of the one fight where he was

backed up against the ropes, dodging all the punches, and then does the hip wiggle in your face. And so, Ropa Dope came from that fight and everything. Or you have the Mike Tyson 30-second fight because he just overpowers you with one punch. Good night.

Yes. You kind of provoke different attitudes from your opponent in these. One is humiliation if you crush them from the beginning. One of them is desperation if you're stringing them along and they're just waiting to get beat up. Is it, you know beat up is it is it you know as long you it has to be such a good string your opponent along that by the end they they completely understand and everyone watching the fight knows what just happened it was it wasn't oh it was an even played

with your food you played with exactly it was oh Oh, this is not actually a close fight. Just knock me out already. The other fighter is keeping it going. Exactly right. Now, when it says string long. Is that the one you're going with? 100%. Interesting.

I thought you would have been a crush from the beginning, guy. So here's why. I have at times in my life been a huge UFC fan, a diehard guy in the past. I figured that out when you called them purses. I would have said, like, fight money. Okay, fight money. No, I wasn't talking about them. I was talking about a giant purse.

Is that what they give away to the winners? A huge Louis Vuitton. Like a Dolce. Yeah. But the reality is when you have these matches and there's bad blood, and these guys just hate each other and they're wanting to show the other one. I'm not thinking about it from my perspective.

I'm thinking about it from the loser's perspective. If I get clipped in a fight and I go 9-9, I feel like that was a lucky shot. I want that fight again. You got lucky. You put me out, but I don't believe you're better than me. But in those fights where it goes five rounds and the other guy just, I can't hit him. I can't get to him and he takes me down and he beats me up. At the end of that fight, when you're watching as a viewer, you're like,

He annihilated him. That guy can't possibly hang with him. And there's no doubt for the future of all eternity, who's your daddy? It's the one that just toyed with you in there. And Al makes a good point. And Al and I, we have great experience with this. But when you toy with your opponent, you can taunt. You can taunt for a really long time.

And taunting is fun. Oh, man. A lot of smack talk in that ring. And in the pickleball court as well. All right. Which is, you know, when you think about it, very similar competition to ultimate fighting. Thank you.

Pickleball. Could they not have gotten a stronger name? Probably not. What's a stronger name? Tennis or pickleball? Tennis is a stronger name. Yeah, because it doesn't have pickle in it. But it's also slightly more boring.

It's more boring. The name is more boring. The name is more boring, even though it doesn't have as many words like pickle in it. Like if it was Powerball. Paddleball? What if it was just Paddleball? Yeah. Paddle Smash.

There we go. Smashball. Smashball. Oh? Yeah. Paddle smash. There we go. Smash ball. Smash ball. Oh. Yeah. Ouch. Whiffle snapper. Oh, no.

That's old people. Which is pickleball, so that works. Moving on. Moving on. Is this real life? Okay, we are moving on to Is This Real Life? where each of us have chosen a real-life story that we have discovered in the world, really happening,

and we're going to share it with each other today. And I'm going to go last. I'm going to say that out the gate. Okay. Because my story has the potential to redeem whatever humanity you want to bring to the surface. I like that. So I'm going to try to do that at the end. Jason, is yours like a silly or just an incredible?

Yeah, I'll just kick it off. Go ahead. Mine's not incredible. It's kind of ridiculous. Okay, good way to start. And it can get us into some conversations on maybe our telephone life. Telephone? Telephone life. Here it is.

The title of this... Operator, please connect me to the mayor. Here it is. Hiker lost for 24 hours. Ignored calls from rescuers because of unknown number.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Yes. That's a good conversation for this offer. That is incredible. That's, I mean. You're just adding fuel to Al Borland's fire. This hiker was on a mountain in Colorado.

He was on the tallest peak of this mountain and was lost for 24 hours. I'm trying to think of why he would have done this. Is it battery conservation? No. The reason is because it was an unknown number. The reason you didn't answer it. But they were lost. My question when I first saw this headline was more what your way your phone works.

Yeah. Yeah. Somebody like you just phone a friend. Does he expect it to say rescuers on it? I mean, helicopter calling. Yeah. And so in this, in our presence here, we have a lot of different telephone operations, as I refer to it. So I am one where if I don't know the phone number calling me, I will only answer it in one situation.

And that is, I have something going on. I know something's being delivered. The plumber's coming later in the afternoon. Exactly. Outside of that situation, that number calls and I don't have it in my phone, I will never answer it. You can leave me a voicemail and then I will maybe check that voicemail someday. Whereas Andy, I feel like we could be in the middle of the most heated

any game of anything, and if the phone rings he's answering it and i thought that andy was the the most answer your phone guy on the planet no no you're not no i'm not owl borland now uh spit wads you probably have a cell phone. And every now and then, it might say something like, Spam call. Potential spam. Nobody answers that, right? No, because if it's identified as potential spam, it is not potentially spam. It's spam.

And Al Borland answers that phone. He answers everything. Which begs the question, you ever had them a potential spam not be spam not yet any day now one of these the algos could get stuff wrong too just proven by not your history i am the more extreme version of jason where i have you're nothing i have the option turned on that says if I don't know this phone number, you send it right to voicemail. I thought you were going to be the more

extreme version of me where it's like, I see you are in my phone. I still don't answer it. How can you live in that world? Because if it's important, they will leave a voicemail. But what if it's urgent? Maybe they'll call back a second time. I don't know. They'll leave a voicemail. Does it ring through if they do it twice?

I'm just thinking, I mean, I answer on a regular basis probably, I feel like 10 to 15 calls a week that are not names that I have in my book but are things that are important. Somebody's calling from, like I said, the example of a plumber or a contractor or somebody's calling me for some doctor's office or something. I don't put the doctor in my... I believe that the phone is smart enough that if you have talked to that number, it will ring. Interesting.

But otherwise, I don't care. You really don't like talking to people. No, and I don't like talking to people who I didn't want to speak to them in the first place. And they're just calling me for whatever garbage reason. Now, can I ask this question? Yeah. How do you feel about the pure hang-up? Let's say the person on the other line says, Jason, ring, ring, ring.

Hello. Hi, this is Bob, and I'm calling from the car dealership down the street. We got to pause. Did you have a delay at all, or were you? No, I'm a person. Okay. I'm not a robot. Everybody can hang up on a robot.

But I'm saying even when it's a real person, sometimes you still have that delay. That little patch through delay. Do you wait for it to come through, or do you hang up the second there's a delay? No, no, no. I'm saying that after the introduction by a human, what's your sensibilities about a pure, untalked, just turn the phone off? I don't do that, but I am fine with that.

Okay. I don't, you know, those people on the other, the people on the other side of the phone are humans with dignity. They deserve no respect for the job they're doing. And I shall give them none. However. And I always think they're used to being hung up on oh absolutely that's like not it's old hat for the issue with hanging up on them is i can't get the line in that says please remove me from the list yep so i am usually i say hello they say as bob from car dealership down this and i say

i don't have time right now. Please remove me from the list. Click. That is my go-to. Now, what if they, I mean, a lot of them are trained to instantly follow up and overcome that obstacle. I have never heard anything because I say that from a distance. And then you, oh, you do the click. I do the immediate click. So you do say something, but then you click,

and you don't wait for her to apply. Yeah. Okay. The best bit. And Mike doesn't answer at all. Correct. I do not. But if I have answered, and it's someone, if it's telemarketing, I'll do the either remove me from the list, sometimes just hang up.

But the best bit I can remember about this was Seinfeld had, and I think it was on Seinfeld, where a telemarketer calls him up and he says, oh, no, I can't actually talk right now. Can you give me your number and I will give you a call back? And he's like, well, no, I can't actually talk right now. Can you give me your number, and I will give you a call back? And he's like, well, no, I can't do that. That's against policy. He's like, oh, so you don't want calls when you're at home. Yeah, you don't want calls from people when you're at home? And it's like the job, I get it. You got to make money however you can make money.

money however you can make money but in the list of jobs in humanity telemarketing is just scum of the earth that no one likes no one likes it it should not be around and this like whatever happened to that national do not call registry how are people not getting thought people were supposed to get punished if you're on that list and they called you. They didn't really work out. No, it did not. But yeah, you're right. It's a job that I don't have respect for. If you go into that field as cold calling outbound interrupt somebody.

Yes. And that person has no choice in the matter. Like if we had a choice, if every person had a button that was like, I will accept outbound cold calls or I won't. And everybody could choose that. I have more respect for your profession because you're calling people that have opted in. Yeah. Actually, you should all start with out. Yes. And then the four people on earth will opt into those.

I mean, and like you get- The lonely people. You get them at 8 p.m. Oh, I got one at 8 in the morning the other day that just blew my mind. Are you kidding me? That's why Owl answers? Is he lonely owl is this what is your response when you talk to these spam people it's funny that because when

he was saying that i i am the person that just hangs up on him i am too only because when i used to try to be polite and say i don't have time they would already always argue with me so i just i do block them a lot of the times too i will do do the instant hang up and block. Never say a word. That does nothing. They change their phone number. They do actually. Yeah. I got,

yeah, I got the spoof. Did you ever, uh, do you ever have any experience? I think it's robo call. Yeah. I went down that road where,

uh, if you're not familiar with this, like it's a great, it's an app and a service you can subscribe to where it will like string them along. It will answer it, but it's from a different phone number or whatever. They it's cool tech. And then they have a,

a set up voice recording that they play to those other people where they try to string the telemarketer along. And then you can, and then later you can listen back to see if people actually try to talk to it. It's like, yes, that is what you deserve for that call.

One of the problems with the Do Not Call registry is that a lot of the calls we get in telemarketing are international. They're sourced out of international countries. So there's no consequence for those places if they ignore those lists. It's ridiculous. But, Mike, you have an Is This Real Life story for us. I do. So mine is more of the incredible nature.

Hold on. Did we even get to the end of jason's story i mean so did the guy get rescued wrap it up yeah the the hiker was rescued was not rescued uh the hiker no no no did not die finally found uh their way out after 24 hours that's why they weren't answering the calls, because they said, I'm going to do this myself. Interesting. All right, I want to tell you the tale of Joan Murray. Joan Murray, a 47-year-old bank executive, and she had gotten into skydiving. Yeah, as one is known to do.

Yes, and had completed 35 jumps, which... It's not a lot, but it's not little. You're not a professional by any means, but you know what you're doing. You can skydive. And so, on one of her jumps, she goes out, chute does not

deploy. That's a problem. And it's if you've ever been skydiving without a parachute, look, so she pulls It's called skyjumping. If you've ever been skydiving without a parachute. Look, so she pulls. It's called sky jumping. Thank you, Jason. It's called just jumping out of a plane. Pulls her reserve chute.

Everything is going okay. But then at about 700 feet, or right above that, she starts spinning and doesn't have a reserve chute. The chute deflates. So she's just plummeting to the earth at around 80 miles an hour. Ongoers are looking on like, She should open a chute. Watching this tragedy that is about to unfold smash.

She hits the ground. What? Her body is just completely annihilated. There's no way she's going to survive this. This is a very dark story. Hold on. She gets pulled into like recovery, go into the hospital and she's still alive. And they're like, how is this possible?

And then they notice that her body is covered in tiny little bite marks. So what happened, she fell into a fire ant mound okay and so the ants started attacking her and the poison that the fire ants bite with was enough to stimulate her nervous system to keep her heart going what so that she was able to survive long enough she was in a coma for a couple weeks had had, of course, a whole bunch of reconstructive surgeries and craziness, but was able to survive. She survived jumping out of a plane because of fire ants?

Was able to walk, but she landed in a mound of fire ants that were attacking her, but actually kept her alive. Whoa. Does that mean, like, we need a third layer to the chutes where, like, if the backup doesn't... It just covers you in ants. It's just fire ants. It just lets them...

An ant shield? An ant shield. Just... Release the ants on board! Wow, that is... Bite us! That is truly incredible. But they released a venom known as Selenopsin.

Ah, you should have not said it. Well, but give it a try. Selenopsin. Selenopsin. I am amazed that some people do survive long falls just miraculously. Like I know I've always heard, not through fire ants, but I've heard that there's a handful of the skydivers that survive. But I always think that they crash through about 10 canopies worth of trees

to break the fall. This was just a splat. Wow. Which I guess there would have been dirt underneath because, you know, the fire ants. Well, I feel like that was a pretty redeeming story, so I don't know if you need mine, but this one is just, you talk about good fortune.

In your case, it was a woman who had the good fortune of falling onto fire ants that saved her life. Which? The rest of it still hurt. I mean, that hurt a lot. Also, generally speaking, landing in a mound of fire ants, not fun. No. No, but she had other concerns.

See, they emit this poison. Yeah. Called. It's a lennipus. Yep. That's it. Here it goes. I'm just going to paint this picture for you.

Yep. Just by memory. Go on. There is a flight going to Hawaii. Okay. Okay. And a woman on this flight gave birth prematurely to a baby she didn't know she was going to have. Oh, my goodness.

She had no idea that she was pregnant. And there's a doctor on board that helped her with the delivery. And it just so happened that not only was there a ob-gyn doctor on board but three NICU nurses were on the same my goodness flight because yeah so like pretty uh forward premature like 29 weeks okay so so need need assistance she had no idea she was pregnant whatsoever there they did the whole is there a doctor on board? Is there a doctor on board? And there's three separate NICU nurses also on board. They completely helped this lady give birth to the baby. That's absurd.

Were they together, the nurse? This is just total separate strangers. I know the doctor and the nurses were not together at all. There was a big NICU conference. That's the point. The entire plane was full of NICU nurses. It said they used shoelaces to tie the umbilical cord. They made baby warmers out of bottles that were microwaved.

And at one point, they used an Apple Watch to monitor the baby's heart rate because they did not have normal tools available for this baby. And baby and mother are completely fine. Wow. So didn't know you were pregnant then once you find that out you end up with a whole team able to i mean that's a lot 30,000 feet at 30,000 on the way to hawaii no quick stops there to land and uh the baby's fine and the mother's fine so wow that's pretty amazing that's a wild story yeah and uh i thought it was pretty

flying stories today that's true two of them what was that poison called again the spitballers draft we are drafting once again, and Jason has the first pick. We are drafting chocolate-based products. Everybody likes chocolate. Food. Chocolate-based food products, right? Or is it just chocolate-based products? I want you to specify.

A sculpture. I mean, I thought that was kind of built into the food descriptor. Right. Well, Jason had a real quick answer there. It was statues. Sure. It wouldn't have made my list. And guess what?

A chocolate statue, for the record, is edible and can be eaten. It is food. It's also food. It is food because chocolate is food. You have the first pick. Lots to choose from. I am disappointed. All right.

Oh, no. That I have the first pick because this might surprise you, might shock you. I'm not a huge chocolate fan.'m not surprised i'm not anti are you shocked no i was waiting for it i set him up um i'm not anti-chocolate but like chocolate well i will say this when when other products get brought up not a chocoholic no i am not I actually don't know any chocoholics either. Like who can't not have chocolate? You kind of hear that idea

that there are some people that are like, I just love chocolate. Mmm, chocolate. So I'm going to take some... You know what they're like. Yeah, they're like, mmm, chocolate. So I'm going to... Are the deucer any chocoholics over there? My wife. Oh, yeah? my wife oh yeah okay so we do you get her chocolate are you the is she welcome the chocolate gift then oh yeah okay go on jason

all right so with that i'm shocked i'm going to take something that is a chocolate based famous product but is you know it's a baked good. I'm going to stick in my wheelhouse. I'm taking the chocolate chip cookie. Okay, that's a good pick. It's a classic. It's warm. It's gooey.

It's fresh out the oven, and I am happy about the little chocolate chips in it. The problem that I have here is that I don't think that's your favorite chocolate product. I think you're pandering. I think you're trying to win the chocolate draft. It's funny because when you said that. Integrity in question. No, when you said that, I was searching my own head. I thought you had something that I love, a chocolate, that I couldn't think of.

Because I'm like, I don't know. You think a chocolate chip cookie is number one? There's only one thing that I like probably more than that, but it's so specific. It's not the genre. No, look, chocolate chip cookie would have been my first. It would have been my first. It's a statue. Not a lot of people get chocolate statues,

so I felt like it was a little too specific, but that is my go-to. I mean, I guess you do get chocolate statues when you get the bunny. Yeah, that's what I think about. No, look, I'm just bitter bitter I wanted the chocolate chip cookie I thought it would get to me um I will say that my pick is is something that does have a wide range of and I guess a chocolate chip cookie they're all pretty good but there is you know there's a great one then there's a there's mediocre ones they're all pretty good it's a lot of it's a lot of baked good in there i will go with what i think there is a wide range of uh of good and bad but i

will go with the chocolate brownie oh you wrap scallion and i know it wouldn't make it back to me i figured it was the i thought jason was gonna go with it but i think a if you have a great chocolate brownie, you're like, man, I really do like brownies. Brownies are good. I will say that when you have a really good chocolate brownie that isn't too much but then has the little chunks. A little bit.

Yeah, you can't have too many chunks. No, it's hard to make a perfect brownie. When you've got one, it's great, but I actually don't. If there was a brownie and a chocolate chip cookie, I would definitely go the chocolate chip cookie. Brownies are too chocolate for me. It's a tough decision. At lunch today, you and and a chocolate chip cookie, I would definitely go the chocolate chip cookie. Brownies are too chocolate for me. It's a tough decision. At lunch today, you and I went chocolate chip cookie.

Mike went chocolate brownie. Yeah. Little did we know. No regrets. It looked bigger than what we got. It was delicious. Our chocolate chip cookie was so tiny. Yeah.

It was not fair to us. It was not fair to us. All right. Go, Mike. So were you jealous of my brownie or just i was just disappointed in the size too yeah all right yeah your brownie was huge all right so we we got cookie brownie i figured i was taking brownie here yeah uh so we'll just we'll kick this thing off with uh the plain jane over here that i am when it comes to chocolate ice cream. Because it is the worst.

It is so delicious. Oh, yeah. You love chocolate ice cream. Oh, my goodness. I love chocolate ice cream. But you don't love vanilla ice cream. No, it's vanilla. Oh, my gosh.

You're so backwards. There's a reason when something is plain and boring, it's vanilla. It's funny, though, because I think in general, I mean, it must be, what, a 10 to 1 ordering a vanilla versus chocolate if you're ordering a plain? Like, if you go to one of those stands in the middle of the park and they go, and one of the ice cream guys is there and he's like, I got chocolate or vanilla. Or the swirl. It's mostly vanilla that's ordered.

Correct. Or maybe swirl. Correct. Or maybe swirl. I would have gone as chocolate. People buy vanilla because they want to cover it and get rid of the vanilla. Oh, you cover chocolate, too. What, with more chocolate?

Yeah. I do. Do we too. What, with more chocolate? Yeah. Do we have anybody here that would choose chocolate, like plain chocolate over plain vanilla? I would. Yeah, I'm on Team Mike on this. Yeah, thank you. You've been outnumbered. Yeah, by the deuces.

Wow. They like the brown one. Go figure. You're over here. It's definitely 10 to 1, and we have five people in this room, and it's 3 to 2. I don't. It's fair. I mean mean it's a fair critique of my statement small sample size here i'll take a poll right now on twitter while this is going on excellent i i don't like chocolate ice cream like if if there was a bowl of chocolate ice cream in front of me you know how usually i'd

be like well i don't like it i'm gonna eat it I don't think I'd eat it. Really? Yeah. But if it's just plain vanilla, you will eat that. Yeah, because it's way better. Were you going to say slurp that down? I wasn't, but I will. Now, I would prefer it to be like dark chocolate ice cream, but that's grosser. Oh, man. So good. And then I got the poll out.

I'll let you know how it goes. Excellent. We need some real-time results over here. And then I will follow it up with just a classic. Let's go with the chocolate cake. I'm sad that you took it because I would have definitely taken it. I will trade you cake for brownie. So through the first 70 votes that just went up, it's 52-47 vanilla.

So certainly not 10-1. Okay. So I don't think I'm going to win. But we're winning. But we're winning barely. Out of how many results? 70 so far. We'll get a lot more in a minute.

I'll keep you posted. So Jason went with chocolate chip cookie. I went with a brownie. Mike went with chocolate ice cream chocolate cake. It's back to me. And this is tough because because the powerhouses are gone look I think it's underrated for adults

and so I'm gonna go chocolate milk darn it that's the only appropriate response for being upset that someone took your chocolate milk i i can't tell you i cannot tell you the last time i had chocolate milk you're doing yourself a huge disservice especially for a chocolate ice cream lover uh no because chocolate milk, I haven't had it in 30 plus years. Are you serious? What? Yeah.

Chocolate milk is something that for some reason we don't make often as adults because it doesn't come prepackaged in your little cafeteria lunch tray. But if you made it, you would love yourself for it. I think the problem with chocolate milk. 262 votes in, 53-46. Vanilla. Yeah. Awesome. yourself for it i think the problem with chocolate 262 votes in okay 53 46 vanilla yeah okay i think part of the 47 part of the problem with chocolate milk is like you know what i really need to wash this down some milk no you're quenched with chocolate no you're quenched you're quenched baby you can't you have no ground to stand on you haven't had it in 30 years you don't know

what you're talking about an authority're not an authority on chocolate milk. Last time you had it, you didn't even have a beard hair on your face. Mike, you enjoy. I may have had sideburns. You enjoy chocolate. I got my sideburns early. Well, that's what you get first. If you go to the store and you buy the pre-mixed, you get the gallon jug of chocolate milk.

Just grab it and bring it home. Okay. And pour yourself a little bit, and you'll be like, oh, dang. Will you do that for us, Mike? I might. Because your kids will enjoy it, too. Oh, my children would love it. The problem is the man who's telling me to drink chocolate milk also loves Yoo-Hoo.

Jason. And you. Yieldy as jar. This poll's starting to get out of control. Uh-oh. Oh, no. 600 plus votes in. 57.4 to 42.6 vanilla. Oh, let's go.

I got to look at the wording of this poll. I thought it was pretty fair. Here's the wording. If you had to choose to eat plain ice cream, which would you choose to have a bowl of? Vanilla? Okay.

Chocolate. I will allow it. Yeah, that's fair. Oh, 60- 60-40. 39.6. I got to vote. I got to vote. All right, so chocolate milk.

Mike, I think you should do yourself a, you know, before you turn 40, have yourself another glass of chocolate milk. You'll love it. It's a good time. But if you get the pre-mixed strawberry, it's even better. Oh, gosh. Disgusting. No.

Oh, the strawberry milk is, I will draw a hard line in the sand. I'm with you on that one. Honestly, I don't like people that like strawberry ice cream. Frankly, I think those people are psychos. What? Oh, my gosh. 60.3 to 39.7. Sounds like 10 to 1 to me.

Strawberry milk looks so foul. Yeah, because it looks like you left out some cereal milk. But anyways, go on. You can't draft strawberry milk, so go on with your two picks. Unfortunately. All right. So I was contemplating taking both chocolate milk, because I got two picks, chocolate milk and hot chocolate at the same turn here.

I obviously cannot do that, but hot chocolate is in. I was worried about having two drinks. Okay. But since I'm not a huge chocolate guy, I'm trying to think of what are the specific chocolate things that I actually enjoy. And I love a good hot chocolate. If it's the Christmas season, just so you know, people, we're in Arizona. It is only cold during Christmas season.

That is it. We have about a three-week window of chilliness where you can drink hot drinks. I was hoping that that would come back to me because hot chocolate, delicious. And it's really not that different. Cold chocolate milk? That is... It seems so different. Right?

No. It's hot chocolate. It's different enough that it's... You wouldn't say, I want some hot chocolate milk. No, I want hot chocolate. That's different. It is different.

A lot of people make hot chocolate with just water. Yeah, and there is also drinking chocolate. I don't know if you've ever experienced that. Yeah, which is just another way of expressing hot chocolate. Well, no, drinking chocolate is like legit just melted down candy bars. Liquid chocolate? Yeah.

That's too much. So you're taking hot chocolate? I'm taking hot chocolate. Yeah, that's a good pick. And then for my next one, I'm going to go with, you know, look, this is a chocolate products draft. And so when I think of that, it's just it's a classic. I get variety and it's fun.

It's more about the experience. I don't love all of them in the box. But when you get a box of chocolates, you know, you get to play around. You get a bunch of different flavors, a bunch of different things. I'm taking a classic box of chocolates, you know. Oh, okay. You get to play around. You get a bunch of different flavors, a bunch of different things. I'm taking a classic box of chocolates. A sordid. Is that a box of chocolates or a box of chocolates? It's got an F in there.

A box of chocolates. All right. We'll give it an F. You can apostrophe it if you want. Well, I'm glad you didn't take what my next pick is. Look, it's Nutella. Okay. It's a chocolate hazelnut spread.

It's delicious. It belongs on everything that exists. You should put it on everything. It's that good. It's very good. I don't know what they... You know, it's the equivalent... Whoa, Jason is shaking his head.

It's like what Oreo did, right? They made the chocolate cookie, and it's got its distinct Oreo taste, and it's just one... There isn't another taste like Nutella. Yeah's not really yeah i'm not in i'm not i'm not a huge hazelnut fan so between my not desperate love for chocolate and my i think dislike of hazelnut just doesn't you dislike do you side with jason and his hazelnut dislike or the 54% of global sales on all chocolate spreads worth $2.3 billion Nutella? All chocolate spreads? What? That is a very...

Honestly, if you told me chocolate spreads, I would assume it's 100%. What are the other chocolate spreads? I should have stuck with the $2.3 billion. You like Nutella though, right, Mike? Oh, yeah. I think everybody likes nutella my family loves nutella old teller i get it all right mike it's back to you all right so let's see i got cake i got ice cream i am gonna go i want to i'm gonna balance i'll balance it out a

little bit so i'm gonna go with chocolate cereals. Chocolate cereals. Give me like some Cocoa Krispies. Yeah, you like the Cocoa Puffs? I will do the Cocoa Puffs. You'll puff it out? I will go with Cocoa Puffs. Jason's eyes made it. I didn't have that on my list.

And I love cereal. I added it as you were talking because I thought you were going to take it. Oh, when I said box. Yes. I was like, oh, chocolate-based cereals. That's delicious. That is good. That's a super... I didn't have it on my list either, and I'm dumb. Cocoa Krispies are...

I'll take Krispies over the Puffs. Puffs over Krispies. And where is Count Chocula in all this? He's never visited my bowl. Yeah, I don't think so either. Wait, you didn't do the Count or the Boo Berry No, my parents were not

There was one more There might have been an imitation one That they sold in the big bags that I got But I didn't I didn't get any of those names What was the third one? Does anyone Someone vet this

Is this with the cookie crisp too? No, no, no No, there was like these three monsters Yummy Mummy Frankenberry Frankenberry And Yummy Mummy There's four?

Yep What is Yummy Mummy? I don't know. Well, you're looking at it. It says Fruity Yummy Mummy. There's Booberry, Frankenberry, Count Chocula, and Yummy Mummy. Can you say that one more time? Nope.

Okay. All right. So you got one more pick, Dan. Yeah, so I got one more pick. So I got the chocolate cereals and... I really wanted to get hot chocolate and... Delicious. You should have drafted that.

I should have. Whatever. It's basically chocolate ice cream, but it's... Look, it's just served a little bit different. I will take chocolate milkshakes. Oh, yeah. Because I would actually take a chocolate milkshake over standard chocolate ice cream. It's very different.

You can't drink ice cream. Exactly. Well, after a while, you can. I mean, that's drinking ice cream. Yeah. It's made in a method that can... If you could go back in time, though, do you think you would take the very different out of the sentence?

Maybe just say slightly different? Did I say very different? You did say very different. I won't say slightly. I'll just say they're different. Okay. Because they are. They're different the way that hot chocolate and chocolate milk are different.

Yeah, it's like microwave changes it. So, wait. Well, I think we've figured this out because I like the chocolate drink. If I could have taken a chocolate milkshake, I would have done it. I didn't know. I have both on my list. You can take the worst version of the shake if you want, and we can have that discussion. So I like the chocolate very hot, the hot chocolate, and I like it very cold because

I like the milkshake, but I don't like it just fridge cold. So six out of 10 prefer vanilla. Okay. Six out of 10 after over 2,000 votes. Definitive research done. I stand a little bit more respect for chocolate out there than I think it deserves. All right. So you went with chocolate milkshake.

Yes. And we're fine with this. Multiple ice cream picks of the exact same thing. We're good? Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. I should have known.

I should never ask Al if it's a mic thing uh brownie chocolate milk nutella i will go with chocolate fondue no it just turned into a pirate your reactions to my picks today are outstanding yeah you've really surprised me here you didn't't see Choco Fondue coming? I did not. That was my clear last pick. I'm running low here on options. Because you, Choco Fondue, don't get to pick it. What do you got?

I am not in. Come on, man. You don't want to dip stuff into chocolate? No, I really don't. This is the guy you side with on everything. It's so good. The guy who guy you side with on everything, Al. It's so good. The guy who doesn't like chocolate fondue.

So what's your favorite go-to in the dip? I like the little tiny Rice Krispie cubes. Oh, yeah. They cube up like Rice Krispie treats. Any baked product is better than any fruit product in a fondue, but I will go to the fruit after I'm out of baked. Oh, yeah. What about like pretzels? No, you don't do pretzels. Pretzels go in the fruit after i'm out of bed what about what about like pretzels no you don't do pretzels go in the cheese you go desserts there's chocolate covered pretzels

yes but i'm just saying at a fondue place i've never had pretzels delivered with okay fondue there or with chocolate pretzels are good with chocolate marshmallows are good marshmallows yeah i mean pretty much anything dipped in chocolate at all is better having been dipped in it. Yeah. So that's where my problem with chocolate is. I need it by itself. I need the chocolate to stand alone.

Let me see. You had chocolate ice cream by itself, chocolate cake, sure, by itself, chocolate cereals. I mean, you're mixing them with vanilla milk, but whatever. Vanilla milk? Well, I mean. Yeah, that's different, bro. cereals i mean you're mixing them with vanilla milk but whatever vanilla milk well i mean yeah that's different bro milk is not vanilla they do make vanilla milk which is disgusting you don't consider milk to be kind of vanilla oh no because vanilla is actually a flavor called vanilla milk is no i'm

aware i'm aware of where you're going. I'm just examining it in my brain. If you're getting a soy or a cashew, like if you're getting a non-dairy, then it's probably vanilla to mask the- Not necessarily. Well, they'll say it on there. Yeah, the almond milk comes by itself or vanilla almond.

Yeah. Right, because they're like, we got it. This day we got to do something about this. I guess when I glance milk's direction, I see a little vanilla in there. Wow. You just love vanilla ice cream? I think I do.

He is a big vanilla ice cream guy. Yeah, I'll eat the heck out of that. All right. Okay, well. So wrap it up there, not fondue boy. Yeah, I wanted fondue. I feel like, ironically, this is more like placating to the draft, but it's kind of what's left on my list.

I'm going to go like chocolate candy bars. Chocolate bars are great. So, you know. Are they, though? Yes. Like a plain chocolate? Like a Hershey's bar? A Nestle Crunch bar.

Nestle Crunch bar is legit. Yeah, that's. Why is it that a little crunch makes that such... It's got to be the taste. It's a huge difference, because a Hershey bar is... I don't need it. Are you in on a Hershey kiss? No, you're Mr. Plain Chocolate. You should be in on that.

No, I'm not. You should. I do like Hershey's Kisses, but I don't want to do it in OG. I got to have the white chocolate swirl one. Oh, the hug. Or the dark chocolate one. Yeah, the hugs, I could eat them for days. There are really good... Like Dove and Symphony make really good plain chocolate bars.

I would not default. The only chocolate bar that I would buy that is like plain chocolate of my own, like, oh, I'm choosing that, would be the Nestle Crunch bar because that is outstanding. Usually, I would prefer, like what I said said earlier now that the draft is over my favorite chocolate anything is like a reese's cup of course chocolate peanut butter i mean that's that's the winner the only thing i had left on my entire list no i had two things chocolate syrup was on my list yeah um which i'm still a sucker for i don't know if it's because of childhood and loving chocolate syrup because you make milk out of it you put it on your ice cream i say yeah you got to cover up the vanilla

sure sure that's that's i mean or accentuate it whatever uh the other one was something i this one is my chocolate milk equivalent that i haven't had in 30 years really but used to make it all the time on the stove my mom used to make it. Pudding? Chocolate pudding. Yeah. Which? I haven't had pudding since going to a buffet with my grandfather. I equate pudding with that. Like you're going to Luby's, so you get some chocolate pudding. And people would put, you'd put the saran wrap over the top. Yeah, and then it gets the mask.

So that way you don't get that. Oh, okay. If you don't, you put the saran wrap to not get the fit. Oh, that skin? What do they call it? The skin. Oh, the skin. My dad loved it.

He'd eat all the skin off of our pudding. Oh, that is so gross. Oh, man. Honestly, when you talked about cooking your pudding, I'm like, you know they just sell pudding in cups. They used to make it. It was better that way. No.

The skin on the pudding is so off-pudding. Oh, yes! That was fantastic. I mean, I... Yes. Thank you. Final thing I'll do here. I also...

Oh, you have another thing on your list? Oh, no, no. You guys go ahead. I have a poll. I had chocolate mousse, which... Too much chocolate? Go on. I guess you could have gone fudge, too.

That was what was left on my list, was hot fudge. And s'mores is on my list. What about cold fudge? I'm talking about, like, fudge. Oh, that's very good. I was thinking hot fudge, like, on a Sunday. What about Super Fudge, the book? I haven't read it. I've never heard of that.

What? You didn't have... You didn't read... You didn't have you didn't read you didn't have a super fudge was it on cable no this would have been in the elementary school

no he's a cable cable book subscription I believe it's Judy Bloom if memory serves now I gotta research give me the order right quick before we

well now I'm looking up super fudge by Judy Bloom blam Judy Bloom blam white dark milk put them in order that's milk white dark By Judy Blume. Blam. Judy Blume. Blam. White. Dark. Milk.

Put them in order. That's milk white dark. Milk white dark for Jason. Dark. Just stop. White. Dark. Milk.

White chocolate is so great. But by itself entirely can be a little too much. I agree with that. I agree with that. Yeah. Although the cookies and cream bar by Hershey's. Yes. Which is the white chocolate with the cookie pieces in it. Yep. I'm going to have some chocolate today.

Something to write home about. What did we learn today? Well, I learned that Jason really wanted chocolate milk in this draft and had a very childlike response to me taking it. Well, it's because it's a childlike drink.

I learned that scientists need to get on to changing things once it's in my stomach because then I could eat anything I want. That's pretty good. And I learned that a chocolate-based product can include a statue. I'd eat a statue. Heck yeah. If there was a statue that was edible, it's just an upgrade. What if it was a really big one and everyone just took one bite when they walked by?

I'd pass. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.