Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: A Low Speed Chase & The Best Buffet Foods - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

Spit Hit for December 25th, 2023: On today’s show, we patronize other people’s careers, eat soup in a walk-in freezer, and drive with our left foot. We also discuss some crazy-but-true news articles. We close it down with a draft of our favorite buffet foods. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. A-rub-a-dub-dub, eat some food from a tub, my yum-yum. A rub-a-dub-dub, eat some food from a tub, my yum-yum. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, all right, all right, all right. A yum-yum. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Welcome into the Spitballers, episode 211. Would you rather is this real life and we are drafting, well, it's another food draft. Delicious. And I'm looking forward to it.

The best buffet foods on today's show. My yum yum. I like that that made you think of eating food out of a tub. Yeah, I feel like a buffet is an indulgence. Yeah. Nothing is so indulgent as eating food out of a tub yeah i feel like a buffet is a it's an indulgence yeah it's nothing is so indulgent as eating food out of a tub well no it's quantity a tub signifies i'm eating as much as i possibly want i could fill a tub if i wanted to that's my right at a buffet that's true i could bring a tub they cannot stop you you can't you can't stop me. They are a lot of bit gross, really. Buffets? Yeah.

No. The idea of a buffet is a lot of bit gross. No. Where everyone's just walking in a line and grabbing food. Hands just going into the stuff that three fellas later will eat. Hands are just going into the stuff that three fellas later will eat. Yeah, that's quickly made and served as fast as possible to keep filling these troughs of food. Yeah, not a tub, a trough.

Yeah. What's amazing is that if you are making food for people at your house, you're checking expiration dates, right? And there's just this oversight that takes place when you're doing food yourself. And we just trust this to people that aren't us when you go to a buffet, right? You just trust that they're serving you stuff that is not going to make you sick. But there's no guarantees. If we know anything about America, it's like making a profit seems to be really important. Oh, yeah. So serving like two-day-old potato salad.

I mean, if they can warm it up and it's still edible, they're going to go with it. I can tell you right now, I worked at a movie theater in my teenage years. And the amount of times- You got some secrets. Yeah, I got some secrets. And it comes down to the hot dogs. All right? Oh, no.

The movie theater... I love a movie theater hot dog. Because they're so good. They sit in these little steamer trays. Uh-huh. And they just sit there all day long. And guess what? You don't eat them that day?

No. They had them the next day. No. Right back into the steamer. How long did they go? I think you just leave them in there. No. Yeah. Like there was no... Look, I know do they go? I think you just leave them in there. No. Yeah. Like there was no LQA on this? There was no.

Some of these were in there for a long time. Some of them were turning green. And just wrap them up in tinfoil and send. Because you don't even open it until you're in the theater. There's no accountability. Green does not mean go. You can't tell when it's dark in a movie theater. You're just chomping on down and vomit it up later.

That seems bad. And when you guys go back to the buffet, do you really feel like you get your money's worth? Because I feel like nowadays I can go to the, maybe you're at a hotel somewhere they have breakfast or they have the breakfast buffet right but the breakfast buffet is definitely 2x what it would cost for a regular breakfast and when i go to the buffet i sure your eyes get humongous you're like wait can't wait to buffet there's no rules about how much food i can eat you fill up one plate and you go okay well i'm

done there's still rules about how much you are can eat. You fill up one plate and you go, okay, well, I'm done. There's still rules about how much you are able to eat. Yes, the rules of physics. Right. I think that the difference here is that some buffets are- And it's worse food. It's old. It's cold. Some buffets are very, very expensive.

Very expensive. You know, this is a fancy buffet. It's $50. You know, goodness gracious. That's outrageous. Go to a Disneyland resort.'t don't do the breakfast buffet because they got buffets oh my gosh if you go to like oh my word I've spent that's got to be like $85 it's outrageous but you can find restaurants and I'm not sure which is worse

$10 buffet all you can eat what's worse the the $30 buffet or the $10 buffet no I'd rather know in despite the pain I'd rather know that this restaurant is making money hand over fist and I might be getting actual high quality produce because the problem is it's a might I'll take the might versus the certainty that I'm not both restaurants are making a profit here so if there's if they're all you can eat for 10 bucks it is we went on vacation recently and the only restaurants on the hotel like on the grounds the breakfast option was only breakfast buffet and every day you went and you got what was a normal breakfast that would be like $11, and you had to pay $30 a head. Some bacon, a sausage, some toast.

Maybe I got one extra small mini muffin. That's my buffet indulgence. Where it gets criminal is kids' buffet. Because they're like, okay, the adult price will drop off 10% for the kids. The kids do not get their money's worth for sure. Their tummies are more than 10% smaller. And they don't want any of that food. You go through it and they're like,

okay, I'll take the Cheerios. That's a $35 bowl of Cheerios. Yeah. Alright. Well, we are drafting the best buffet foods, if there are some, on today's show. Yeah, of course there are. There's a reason buffets are still around everywhere.

After all that. Yeah, because they make 125% on everything. We should open a buffet. I would visit it. You would get high on your own supply. I'm not just the owner. I'm also a client. It's a personal buffet.

It's mine. All right, we are hopping in. client it's a personal buffet it's mine all right we are hopping in would you rather this first question comes in from darth jar jar on the website says would you rather make air quotes every time you refer to somebody's job or give a self-deprecating chuckle to end every sentence. Wait, how can I chuckle? So you're a podcaster. Yeah. Which everyone, when you tell people that you do a podcast, they're all.

They already put it in air quotes for you. Mentally, the air quotes are happening. And I get it. I understand. Yeah, but talk to a stay at home mom. Oh, brother. So I hear you're a stay-at-home mom oh no no i mean i that how do you come back from that i was gonna go like doctor oh yeah a judge like a judge in a courtroom but ah you're a judge but the but attacking a stay-at-home parent yeah like

they're not working their butt off. That's your job? Oh, my goodness. I mean, our jobs are way easier than people actually raising children. Nurses? Yeah. Oh, so you're a nurse? Oh, man. I mean, that is...

Oh, I'm uncomfortable. But here's the... I have a problem with the second part of this, would you rather, because the second part says, give a self-deprecating chuckle to the end of every sentence what does that sound like jay like a i don't know something like that but self-deprecating is in the content not in the chuckle like if i said hey you're looking really good today mike i mean that's not self-deprecating that's not self-deprecating. That's not self-deprecating. Yeah, I mean, what if you said like, oh, whatever. Yeah.

It has to be nervous. You're like, we should go to the store today. Like high pitch? I mean, that would be pretty bad. You would come across as the least- Oh, you'd be obnoxious. Confident. Every sentence?

I don't know. Do you mind if i sit here um i i think you would never have friends that would ever want to talk to you i mean is that that's that's worse than the other one yeah how often are we you're talking about somebody's job to them? Not very often, but usually. Never after this. Usually when you meet someone. You know what I mean? What do you do for a living? Yeah, exactly.

It's just a normal grown-up icebreaker when you meet another fellow adult and you're like, oh, what do you do? Oh, you're in the army. Oh, man. Yeah, that'd be a problem. I think I, the other one. it's too much though every sentence i know i don't think you could do that i mean after every single sentence i guess i'm gonna go with the air quotes and it has to be done just insult some people's

occupation just to avoid them i hope you have some really bad occupations friends i mean it doesn't matter that's the nice thing about this. If you are a plumber or a lawyer or a state, it is insulting to everyone. It is universally awful. Are there any that aren't? What's a known super easy job? Clown. A clown?

Yeah. I mean, I feel like you could get away with it on a clown. Oh, you're a clown? What about a feel like you could get away with it you could put you could put oh you're a clown what about a waiter oh you're a waiter yeah because then i mean you're making fun of the name of it no no no then you're spinning it like they're just currently a waiter as they're waiting for their big break into whatever area they're going into has there ever been a waiter who is not waiting for that big acting gig is there ever been a waiter who's not waiting for that big acting gig? Has there ever been a waiter who's not an actor?

That's my question. I don't think that's true. Not in Los Angeles, but across this nation, of course. There's lovely people who wait. But they want to be an actor. This could be a problem. We all do. What happens if you meet a dancer?

Oh, that's a... Oh, you're a dancer? Oh, no's a... Oh, you're a dancer? Oh, no. That's a problem. All right, Jared from Patreon. Would you rather spend 12 minutes in a walk-in freezer with a piping hot bowl of soup or 30 minutes in a hot sauna with a bowl of ice cream? Soup.

Soup. In both scenarios, the food is unaffected by the temperature. I think it's meant to be a comfort to you. Oh, okay. That's the goal. It's not supposed to be like something you hold on to. It's more like, you know, what's going to help you get through which one? Well, and the time is different here.

12 minutes in the walk-in freezer. Why is that? The reason is because I think there's a limit to how long you can really be in a freezer. Really? That's longer than getting cooked? I mean, you become the soup in the second one. Yeah. One of these is made for people.

It exists only for people to go. I was picturing a hot tub. Ah, okay. Yeah. Okay, Asana, I get it now. That's a steam room. How long do people go in there? 30 minutes is normal. Yeah, that's normal. Is it? Yeah. I mean a sauna, I get it now. That's a steam room. How long do people go in there? 30 minutes is normal.

Yeah, that's normal. Is it? Yeah. I mean, not me. One, I don't go to places that have saunas. Those are usually gyms. How sweaty would you be, Jason, in a sauna? I think I would come out 150 pounds less.

I'm just, because I sweat so much. You are the sweaty. I would sweat sweating the freezer man with the hot soup i would just be too hot the soup is too hot i'm still sweating everywhere i'd come out and i just have a sheer of of ice all over me i think i was gonna say nobody does one of these for a benefit but that's not even true people go into ice baths people do those stand up you know where your head's poking out and the rest of your body gets frozen for a benefit, but that's not even true. People go into ice baths. People do those stand-up where your head's poking out and the rest of your body gets frozen for a little while.

So people do both of these for therapeutic purposes. People put saunas into their home on purpose to be in a sauna. Rarely with ice cream. Both uncomfortable, but the walk-in freezer, it will become painful at a point to be that cold. When you're that hot, it doesn't hurt. You're just like, oh. Endurance.

It's so hot. And you've got ice cream. You're going to help. Would you smear it on yourself versus eating it? Well, I think you're sidestepping the rules because if it stays cold, I mean, this is magical ice cream. You can't use that to cool down your body. I imagine it's suffering underneath the, oh, food is unaffected by the ambient temperature.

So you're skirting the rules here. But a bowl of ice cream, Andy, how long is that lasting? That's the problem here. You've got 30 minutes in there, Sona. I can't nibble on some ice cream. It tastes too good. That's what I'm saying. You get another bite and you're like, I want to wait.

You better give me some chocolate just so it lasts a little longer. Where are you at with cold headaches? I get them. Okay, you still do? I get them, but not with like, I don't get them with ice cream. How is this possible? I've never gotten a cold. What?

Some people have. I've had a brain freeze? No, he's never- Some people have- I've had a brain freeze like once or twice in my life. Oh my goodness. But it's not very common for me. You can get me with 100% of the time with a Wendy's Frosty. 100%. Really? 100%.

That's why I bring this up. Because they put frozen water in them. Because I- That's called ice? But that's different than ice cream. Ice cream is frozen milk. I just had a Frosty like a week ago, and I got not one, but I think like three. A countless amount, yeah.

And I'm like really, really painful. It didn't stop me from eating the Frosty. A really cold slushy will do it too, like a smoothie. A really cold slushie will do it too, like a smoothie. I feel like the older I've gotten, the far more intense that these cold headaches or brain freezes are. Everybody tries to tell you how to stop them, and I don't know how to stop them. Put your thumb on the top of the roof of your mouth. You're supposed to warm up the roof of your mouth with your thumb or your tongue.

That's how you're supposed to get it done. What are you cackling about over here? Look, my answer is clearly going to be the freezer. Y'all both know i'm going to the freezer i like being cold i want the ice cream i'm in the sauna jason would take the soup and just yeah pour it out like if i've got to be in the in the freezer on the side and just sit in the freezer dancing if the question was switching you've got to have ice cream in the freezer or hot soup i'd be like okay i'll take the ice cream in the freezer that's fine but all jokes aside all jokes aside cuz we're not trying to be silly on this show no we I wanted to know like okay how when when does it become dangerous obvious it's only 12 minutes in the freezer 30

minutes in the sauna you can't just live in a freezer as a human being eventually you will you'll get real sleepy you know you'll you won't how long can you go in a walk-in freezer well so i i don't i didn't find the exact answer but in looking for i'm on this like a scientific journal here oh yeah and i read this found a funny paragraph in here um it says when when shivering stops it's time to worry this is the this is their words so when you stop shivering yeah i've heard that when shivering stops it's time to worry even if you are fat you will begin to lose heat quickly it says that's its words don't rely on your blubber hold on i mean but this is a scientific journal it doesn doesn't have a. Is this a dot gov?

A more sciencey way of saying, should you happen to be overweight? That's what I was chuckling at. Like, no, if you're fat. Falling into a state of hypothermia once your core body temperature drops below 35 degrees Celsius. But if you're fat. Don't rely on it. You don't have better words for me than this?

Even if you're a fatso, you can freeze to death. Oh, man. So we don't know how long you could survive in there. I don't know. I think over an hour, right? What I do know is that based on them calling that out, I know I can last longer than you do. Because clearly there's something

good to being fat in the freezing just ask whales um okay we will move on michael from the website would you rather have to drive using only your left foot or control all electronics with only your non-dominant hand driving with your foot, if you were forced to do it today. You'd figure it out. It would be terrifying. In the beginning, it would be a nightmare. I think both of these, though, you would figure out. Both of these eventually.

Getting over to the right side of the pedal. Yeah, do we have to left foot in our left-sided steering wheels? You betcha. Oh, yeah. I mean, we're in an American car. Okay. And we still have our right foot attached to our right leg. Do you know anybody that two-foot drives?

Oh, gosh, please don't. My mom two-foot drives. Oh, no. No. That's how she learned. Yeah. But she can unlearn. She can grow.

Yeah, but you don't. No, you can't. Not after a certain age. That'd be more dangerous. Wow. So she really does. She breaks with the left. Breaks with the left, right foot drive.

How many accidents has your mom had? None. Never. She's driven 12 miles in her wonderful long life. It's actually, I couldn't even believe it. It wasn't something that we got to choose. You want your dad's way or your mom's way when it was time to drive. No, because there's only one right way.

We drive normally, but apparently that's how she learned now does it do they change the brake pads like every 20 miles i don't know it's just i think the the reason they have you one foot drive is because much safer it's because of your reaction time yes is faster but i guess if your if your muscle memory has your left foot set to break you're good i literally just had this conversation with one of my kids like two days ago they thought that's how you drove well they just yeah they were asking well why do you use the one foot and i was saying because it's safe in in case of an emergency if you have to use two limbs and you're in that

fight or flight like you're far more likely to make a mistake. You could accidentally hit the accelerator. Exactly. You need to not be in the danger zone of being able to break when you mean to accelerate or accelerate when you need to break or doing both at the same time on accident. I think that's like probably the more common problem with two foot driving. It's not the emergency problem problem but just if you're resting your foot a little bit on the brake while you're driving not good where were we going with this discussion this was about the left foot yeah you got to do a crossover left foot very

inconvenient that's that's much worse than a two foot yes that's way worse you got to get your right foot has to almost be i'd almost be tempted to throw it over into the passenger seat at this point you got it you got to hope that it's not a to almost be. I'd almost be tempted to throw it over into the passenger seat at this point. You got to hope that it's not a manual stick shift. Otherwise, your leg's going to get in the way of that. Yeah, I'm leaning over. The right leg is getting the. Maybe I'll sit on my right leg.

You could sit on it. You know what I mean? Go a little on my knees. Oh, but now your left leg's not going to be long enough. Get higher up. It's not going to be long enough. I'll push the seat forward. Oh, okay.

That's a real. Don't get in an accident because you're going to be in an origami situation. Get higher up? I'll push the seat forward. Don't get in an accident because you're going to be in an origami situation. Also, every time you get out of your car, you're going to collapse. Yeah, my right leg's not going to work. Fully asleep. You drove to California that way? Non-dominant control of all electronics.

Do you guys have a favorite ear for the phone call? I don't use my ear most of the time with a phone call what well i mean i like okay so around what do you do do i let you use your tongue like how do you listen i say the vibrations i guess what what i'm saying is the majority of the time that i am speaking on the phone i'm either talking through my car on speakerphone or have AirPods. You do the switch. So if you're in your house and you get a call, what do you do?

You switch it to speaker right away? Yeah, I'm probably just on speaker. Just for the walk around? Yeah. You just want everyone knowing your business. Not necessarily. I do like the speakerphone too. But anyways, when you're alone.

When you have to pick it up. I'm always on the left. You're left. I'm a left-handed person. Is that what it is, Mike have to pick it up. I'm always on the left. You're left. I'm a left-handed person. Is that what it is, Mike? Where do you go? I'm 100% right side. I've tried to do some left switching, and it's weird.

It is weird. I will say that. You know, you get fatigued, right? You've been talking for a while. I don't know. You try to switch? Well, hold on. Let's find out.

I'm going to give you a phone call. I don't have a phone on me. Well, that's going to make it harder. Very difficult. Ring, ring, ring. Pick up your pretend phone. Hello? I mean, it's probably on my right. Well, that's going to make it harder. Very difficult. Ring, ring, ring. Pick up your pretend phone. Hello. I mean, it's probably my right.

I think it's just dominant hand. But when you're using your phone, do you ever go left-handed? Or for the weird guy, go right-handed? Okay, so oftentimes when I tuck in my youngest kid, we've got like a bedtime routine. And if he's scared, I'll sit with him for a while. And he likes getting rubbed. And so I'll play on my phone in one hand. Yes.

And like rub his back to sleep with the other. But every now and then I'm sitting on the wrong side of the bed where basically I've got to switch my phone to the offhand. And it's been publicized before. I play Sudoku on my phone a lot. That's kind of my go-to game. It's been publicized.. I play Sudoku on my phone a lot. That's kind of my go-to game. It's been publicized. Forbes wrote about that. Exactly.

Sudoku master. 40 at 40. But it's impossible. 40 doing 40. It's impossible. Like, I can't do it. I have to stand up, walk around the bed, and go to the other. Let me ask you a question.

like i can't do it i have to stand up walk around the bed and go to the other let me ask you a question when you do the back rub phone with your child what's the hand you prefer your left i i am on the phone i use my left my dominant hand uh i'm left-handed i use my dominant hand on the phone so you non-dominant back rub so he's getting a less than back rub oh yeah because i can back rub with the much better with the dominant hand. I'm not going to choose him over me. That's not happening. Okay. See, I do the left-handed phone more often anyways.

Really? You're non-dominant. And I give great back rub to my kids with the dominant hand. I can't believe that you use your non-dominant hand by default. I'd be fine with that. Yeah. Do you switch? Are you confident? You're right. I'm more confident on the left. default. I'd be fine with that, yeah. Do you switch? Are you confident?

No, I'm more confident on the left. What? I'm phone-bedextrious. Really? Yeah, I could go back and forth. So I'm going to take that one. I think that's not going to be a problem, and I won't be careening into some other vehicle within like a day.

I'm going to be sitting on my leg learning how to drive with my left. Okay. Mike, final answer? I will take the electronics. All right. Ricky from Twitter. Would you rather be able to or not be able to swim or not be able to run? One of these seems, well, I was going to say one of these seems far more common and often,

but then I remembered I haven't run in years. You have because we play some sports. Play pickleball? Yeah, but I don't really run in pickle you have because we we play some sports yeah but i don't really run in yes you do i don't think that that qualifies as running he's getting up ahead of steam he's never got to the run part right like he's just starting like i don't think you can run for two steps that's not running what would that be called i that's a great question. Let's answer that question. If you are in a movement, a three-step movement, but at times during that movement you have no feet on the ground, what would you call that? Impressive that you think I can get both feet off the ground.

When you're running, there's a time period that you have no feet on the ground. When was the last time you ran by your definition of running? Was it when we were working out and having to do sprints or something? Yeah. Or like the last grocery store you robbed? Well, you've got to get out quick. You've got to run. You don't want to.

You can't walk. You're like, hold on. I can't run anymore. Yeah, it's been at least a year since I've ran. And I've swam multiple times this summer. Now, I would think not being able to swim is very dangerous. I would say so, yes. There are definitely situations.

But not being able to run can be very dangerous. You cannot escape any sort of danger. Imagine you choose that one, right? You keep the swimming, and then there's an emergency, like a building, right? There's a bomb threat. Everyone's running out of there, and you're walking. You're just like walking out. I'm coming, everybody.

Can you at least power walk? Both. Yeah. One foot has to be on the ground at all times, right? Is that the definition of running? Is it better to die in the collapse of the building than it is to be caught power walking out of the building on camera? My problem, when you start.

Look at this guy. As soon as you start power walking, just out of the building my camera my problem when you look at this guy you when as soon as you start power walking just out of nowhere up a fanny pack just clips right around your waist just appears and you your shoes turn into white new and your shorts become very short yeah and your socks go oh they go way high um my my real issue with the running here and and i i didn't factor this in you said well what about if there's an emergency going on? And I started to think, you might poop your pants if you can't run. That's the emergency that sometimes. Oh, because you've got to get to a.

You've got to get to that toilet. You've got to, you know. So you're power walking, you're pooping, and you're power walking. You might poop your pants because you ran, though. So you're saying that the power walk is better than the run if you got to take a dump when i've i've found that when i'm in uh when i'm redlining i think you're right that that you gotta you you can't have the the concussive jarring of running i will not i redlined recently did you yeah you redlined i redlined recently. Did you? Yeah. You redlined? I redlined recently.

How here? How close did we get? It was about a month ago. Okay. We got real close. We almost did it again, huh? We got real close. It's a shame the owl is not here for this.

Oh, he was involved. Because he was involved. Did you simultaneously redline? No, no. This is just- And then have a fight for it. Oh, is this when he was trying to get you home? Yes.

In a vehicle? Yes. I was in his vehicle. So he was the driver. He was the driver. Oh, no. Right foot or left foot? I hope he was right foot driving.

But it was like, yeah, this is going to be a problem. At what point of the drive and of the meter, like one to five where he five is you really got to go at what point did you actually say something to him uh i i so i had actually told him prior to driving how long of a drive was this it was a it was a good it was a good uh 15 minute drive okay and i had told him prior like this is gonna this could be a problem before the drive yeah but there wasn't there wasn't an opportunity there there wasn't a place and so and then i felt better you know how it comes in waves yeah sure i felt better and this was like it's like a tide yeah yeah it's a tide the tide was the tide had rolled out they call them birth pains yeah well what's this was caused by medication i

was on a medication that like this was like a possible side effect. Yes. And it was coming and I was like oh man take a 10 of these you know when you get the sweats. Yeah yeah yeah. You go any Paul. Yeah. And so it's like I have to know more about this. Well I'm telling the story. And so I'm I'm telling him like yeah we gotta get we gotta let's hustle up um and he doesn't want me to redline in his car any more than i do he's got the white interior right yeah it's a it's a white car just check it and so we are um we're driving and i'm telling you you know you everyone can experience it everyone's known this if you gotta go to the bathroom and you've been holding it or whatever as soon as your body

knows you're close as soon as you are at the house as soon as you see the restroom door you it's like okay come on it's time the relief is inside yeah and unfortunately i could see like the navigation map on his car screen and my body knew it's like oh you are you are 90 seconds away from his house and i am i'm sweating i'm like you gotta go you gotta go and then when we get to his house there was like a car and other stuff in front of his house where there was like no place to park oh no do you get a drop off yeah i basically stop? Yeah, I basically got a drop off. But I say all of this to say, and he pre-opened his garage door from his phone on the drive so I could run in straight in through the garage. That's where the guest bathroom is.

And I say all this to say. And I wrecked it. I did. But I say all this to say, I did not run. I needed to get in there. But you're right. Because if I had ran, I had pooped. You'd seepage.

Yeah. You got to keep the legs close enough together. You don't want to spread those legs far. You need to maintain the clinch. Absolutely. And are we thankful you didn't have any speed bumps on that road on the way in? A speed bump would have been a real problem it would have been a brown line oh man line yeah wow what a good friend mm-hmm I'm gonna I'm gonna so I don't need the running is what I just learned I'm gonna I'm

gonna swim and now I can't even now I've got an. Well, you won't be pooping in the pool if you always drown in the pool. Right. Yeah. Well, if you drown in the pool, you might poop afterwards. Oh, no. Yeah. I'm going to keep the running. Yeah, me too.

I'm going to throw away the swimming. You can still wade, right? Of course. You can still wade. If your feet can touch the ground, you don't all of a sudden freak out. I don't know, man. I feel like if I couldn't swim, I'd be afraid to wade to the waist. No, waist you'd be fine with.

I think there are some people like that. I got a friend who can't swim, and they don't want to even wade in the ocean. Well, I get the ocean, because if you're- They won't even walk on the shores with their feet seizing. If you lose your balance, the ocean wave can take you back in. Or if I come up and shove you in. That'll get you too. Get to swim.

Gotcha. What a funny goof. Let's move on. Is this real life? All right. Is this real life? We have each found real life stories, articles, newsworthy things that have happened that when we saw them, we said to ourselves, this cannot be true. And yet it is. And we share them with one another right now.

Jason, why don't you kick us off, if you don't mind? I don't mind. Man poops pants in car. Man, ironically, starts, Man trapped aloft in hydrogen balloon for two days. Oh, no. Two days? Two days.

Floating around the sky. No. Oh no. Two days? Two days floating around the sky. No. Trapped. He traveled 200 miles. Oh my gosh. Is he alive? He is alive. Step one. I think I probably don't choose this story if it's like a man dies in tragic accident. That's a different show.

That is not this pod. But no. This was a hydrogen balloon that is not this pod but no the uh so this was a hydrogen balloon that apparently is the newer way to um harvest acorn nuts so instead of going up in these really tall trees that are like 200 feet tall and climbing up and it's much less safe you get this hydrogen balloon that is kind of tied to the ground. And it's basically a hot air balloon. Like, I looked these up after reading this, but it's smaller.

The basket is just, you know, it fits. It's for one. You can fit two people, but, like, not comfortably. This isn't, you know, like a hot air balloon where you're going up and it's this beautiful. But it's the same kind of design. And apparently it became detached from the ground. Oh, my goodness.

And there aren't the controls like in a hot air balloon quite the same. Which are already none. There were two people in the basket. And when it became detached, one jumped out. See ya, sucker! Well, here's the truth. Two should have jumped out. see you sucker well here's the truth two should have jumped out can you wait so one jumped out and the other said i am floating off forever

i can't imagine how terrifying that would be to just be like what do i do because you're thinking about jumping right and there's a certain point where you're saying you can't jump anymore i mean yeah you're you're maybe even in the beginning you're thinking oh i i can't jump now i really can't jump now i'm dead because you you floated off and i don't know how high like in my mind it goes forever i think yeah yeah here's here's what i think happens space i think i go so high that i either lose oxygen and we'll die that way or i will go so high that this balloon is not made for it and it's gonna pop or you freeze i that wouldn't happen in my mind you're right scientifically but i didn't get there you figure pop balloon down you go pop balloon down i go off i go into the atmosphere burn up die so that didn't know oxygen whatever so it

didn't happen um apparently he just floated for two days and 200 miles and eventually like the next day they were able to get a hold of him on his cell phone oh Oh, no. He floated somewhere where he was in close enough range, and they basically told him he needs to start leaking out the hydrogen somehow, and he did. That was my first thought is if I'm on the way up and I have a fear of going into outer space and or freezing and or not breathing, it's two days you're up there. You hadn't come up with a plan to just leak some hydrogen out of that thing?

At what point? That's exactly how you get up there. You hadn't come up with a plan to just leak some hydrogen out of that thing? At what point? I don't know. That's exactly how you get down in a hot air balloon. You stop putting hot air into it. You're up there for two days. That's 48 hours. That's so long. No food, no water.

Yeah, what are you doing? After the first- Sudoku, he had his phone. After the first 24 hours, you got to start thinking of a plan. Yes. Right? Yeah. You got to do something, but he made it. The plan was waited out. Good plan, man.

Wow. Well, my Is This Real Life is brief. It is simply a really hilarious mental picture to me. So I'll share it, and then we'll go on to Mike's. Here's the headline. so I'll share it and then we'll go on to Mike's. Here's the headline. Man arrested after four mile an hour police chase of narrowboat on the Grand Union Canal for eight miles. Oh, yeah.

Four miles an hour. Four miles an hour. Do that math. That's two with two hours. Yeah. So he traveled. Great math. And do you know what a narrow boat is

these canals now these are like really really long thin boats oh yeah that people uh are they narrow they're very narrow they are and uh okay oh yeah like okay a riverboat peaky blinders has uh some peaky blinders yeah and but these boats go four miles an hour and apparently this uh this gentleman 37 years old was arrested uh eventually on the suspicion of assault and breaching the restraining order but the best part in my head is that these police investigators were lying in wait to catch him and followed him he no bike they No, bike. They were on bikes. So they followed the four mile an hour narrowboat on bikes until eventually he gave up, pulled over and ended the high speed James Bond-esque chase.

They're going to be way out ahead of him. I know. Because I just Googled how fast do people walk and on average they walk three to four miles per hour. And on a bike to go that slow, you're in the wobble zone where you can fall over. I mean, you're just walking, talking to this guy like, hey, dude, you got nowhere to go. For eight miles. What is this guy's plan?

He did not have a good plan. You're never going to catch me. The people who do it in a car, you have these grandiose dreams of, I'm going to make it to Mexico, somehow an unsecured part of the border, and as soon as I get over, they're not allowed to follow me, or something just crazy like that. But you're in a boat. Do you think he was hoping for a waterfall? Maybe.

Some kind of like, follow me down the rapids. To go over the top. There's got to be a tunnel somewhere. I hope he had a 45 point turn to turn back the other way that's what i mean you're going you can't turn around you're going four miles an hour one direction have you ever had a strategy if you ever got in a high speed chase have you ever thought about how you could evade police nowadays i haven't thought through i have thought of the opposite of like what to do if i'm getting chased down by like a bad guy

which is which is well you see these police drive to a police station okay that makes sense you see the chases on the news and you know that they've got you know you've got helicopters helicopters you've got infrared cameras all of that stuff like what's the plan man it has to be some sort of i've always thought parking structure i think you gotta go find a big parking structure that you can go into so you can go park and then lay down on the ground or sneak out of the car and get lost but you're just you're you're alive in a coffin at that point like there's nowhere for you to go it's a parking structure one you gotta pretend you're one of the like other people in the parking yeah you switch cars you gotta get a different car you've got to

get in a different car and get out of there i would think you could i would be like get out of my car i'd run over and i go he went that way oh i you know i'm i'm going under the bridge and then i'm hopping out keeping that car going and so you know they're gonna follow so the you you like the helicopter sees the car going you put a brick on the accelerator terrible crash oh i was imagining that's pretty good just pushing the gas as much as it could then getting up so the oh i was imagining that's pretty good just pushing the gas as much as it could then getting out so the car just kind of that's basically six feet in front of him i turned the cruise control on okay how fast could you how fast of a car do you think you can jump out of onto concrete and still be functional to run that's got to be 20 or lower

yeah 20 is 20 you got to get your feet going real fast. Well, no, I do the roll. I wouldn't be trying to run. What does the science document say about fat people when they do that? They say they're better at rolling. Okay. All right. It's more shapely.

Hey, it's science, Mike. I'm not saying anything the scientists wouldn't say. All right, Mike, what's your is this real life? All right. So mine is about, uh, football. Okay. Or as we call it soccer, there, uh, specifically about a, uh, a defender, his name is Marcelo. Uh, he was on the, uh, so the Brazilian defender, Marcelo, he was on the lion first team and he was like, he got into some discipline stuff with the team and he had to be

removed and that discipline comes from the here is the headline marcello dropped from lion first team for quote farting and laughing and dressing farting and laughing yes that's his final straw so he uh apparently got into it with the management where they caught him laughing during the captain was giving a speech to rally the troops before he go into a contest. And he was, well, I think he was maybe laughing at the speech, not considering it to be serious. the speech not being not considering it to be serious and then uh he had been disciplined uh by the club for repeatedly farting among his teammates in the dressing room we warned you and laughing in the presence of management so wow he literally farted so much and got warnings and then said i can't i'm gonna start with a. I find it so funny because the best part is it's not like he's just farting and got fired.

He's farting and laughing about it. He's committed to the face of management. Marcello's butt cello. Very nice. That is. So they finally let me go. Why honey. Why don't you have a job anymore.

Farted my way out of here. Oh, man. Wow, that's special. All right, we are drafting. Let's do it. The Spitballers Draft. All right, we are drafting the best foods at a buffet, and I have the first pick.

And I don't think it's going to be the right pick, but it's going to be the pick that I can't live without. Interesting. Because I think back at the handful of, you know, more than a handful of times I've gone to a buffet. And I think of when, when have I really wanted to indulge?

And when have I been happy that I have an unlimited amount of something? And when do I have a fond memory of that, right? We talk about how much you can eat. Oh, no. I think you might take mine. I genuinely think this is the best actual thing at a buffet. It's not at every buffet.

It should be. But it's an ice cream sundae buffet. Yeah. Sundae bar would have been my first pick. Really? Because you get to go back and back and back. And I have, I'm well known in my region as one of the, I can eat a lot of ice cream.

Yeah. Quantity wise. It's really all I want to do in life. And so I've enjoyed that at a buffet before. I feel like I benefit from the fact it's unlimited. And, uh, are you allowed to put your mouth to the that at a buffet before. I feel like I benefit from the fact it's unlimited. Are you allowed to put your mouth to the nozzle at a buffet? I think they frown on that. Yeah, they probably don't like that.

The best part of the Sunday bar to me is that I'm in control. You're in control of the toppings. I'm in control of the toppings. How much chocolate fudge do I actually want on here? Way too much. I can do it. No one's going to stop me because I'm the one who's in control. I feel like buffets, sundae bars are usually there's hot fudge, which I've never been a

huge fan of. And then there's usually a bowl of peanuts or something. There's usually some sprinkles and things. Yeah, sprinkles are there. Yeah, sprinkles are there. Yeah, sprinkles are always there. Maybe some gummy bears. Oh, there's caramel. There's always caramel.

Two pumps. There's a hot fudge pump and a caramel pump. I would say the three and the strawberry one. Yeah, and there's some Oreos too. You're underestimating the Sunday bar. I'm going to have to go to a buffet and check it out. I have to go with the ice cream Sunday bar. It's on brand.

It's on brand, and you guys have four picks before I pick again. I can't risk losing my favorite thing on earth. I would have taken it first. Would you really? Yeah. Nice. I like you, Mike. I love the Sunday bar, and I would be playing the game of knowing I had to get it before you got it.

All right, so then that takes my first pick. I will go. I'm going to because it's part of this is not just the food. It's the pageantry of it that I get to tell a feller this is exactly how I want to do it. So in my opinion, a good buffet has this exactly how I want to do it. In my opinion, a good buffet has this. It is the omelet bar. Where they give me the piece of paper. I get to

check all the fillings and things that I want. What would you fill? Oh, I'm real boring. I see cheese. Some cheese and some hams. I'm going to put the spinach in the omelet and maybe some more cheese. I'm a little embarrassed to say this, but I've just never really loved an omelet.

Yeah. I feel like an omelet is somehow not that good. The only place I get omelets is an omelet bar. It would be. They have the fancy omelet bar. I'm like, ooh, go there. I so prefer a scramble to an om i prefer a scramble or yeah absolutely all right um but they don't have like i mean you can take it's still up for grabs if you

want to get it but it's not fresh is a scramble and a skillet pretty different no those are the same a scramble and a skillet are identical one just comes in a skillet a skillet is like a deconstructed omelet. Yeah, yeah. Take it apart. They start with an omelet. Well, this is a really long process. This is great because my two picks I wanted both came to me easy peasy. I thought where you were going because you kind of talked about childhood and quantity. Yeah, I know where you're going.

and quantity. Yeah, I know where you're going. And so at a buffet, quantity is key. And when you're a kid, oftentimes it's a breakfast buffet. I find that a lot of my picks here are breakfast buffets. Interesting.

But when you can grab as much bacon as you want. I mean, you can, like usually, if I'm at a, i just take the tongs i slide them in there and i squeeze and i put whatever comes onto my plate and it's usually about 16 pieces of bacon i mean it's now granted it's not always the best bacon it's usually paper thin um real wilty but uh yeah no i i that's my favorite. So you're going bacon. Bacon is my number one. I've got bacon in my omelet. You've got bacon bits in your omelet.

Probably. All right. The other thing is not every buffet has this. And while this isn't always about quantity, it is something that I'm always disappointed when a buffet does not have this, and I'm excited when it does. So I'm going to take the thing that excites me it's the meat carving station yeah it's on my list I mean I've never experienced the buffet meat carving state you what that's a good time they usually and it's it's wait they they carve it for you oh yeah

oh okay am I yeah I have done it where I thought it was for you to carve no no they don't let the buffet goers have not yeah it's always a guy and he's got the big chef hat on looks real fancy and it's what i've experienced it's almost always roast beef it's like a prime rib or a ham and the ham is where it's okay fair enough yeah it's on my list this is good mike you got one more pick hopefully a bad one before i get my well my number two and number three. I had to play the game with this pick because this is my first pick after the Sunday. I didn't know Jason's omelet stance,

so I couldn't take a chance that he would not send it back. I didn't figure that this one would be on Jason's list. I'm just being mean. I'm going with the salad bar, baby. You're right. I'm right. You didn't want the salad bar? Yeah, it's so boring.

It's not. But here's the salad bar at the buffet is my favorite. I load up with the biggest salad you've ever seen because they got everything. They got the hard-boiled eggs. They got the meats, the cheeses. And a good salad bar has whatever dressing you want, and they're good. These are the fattiest, highest-calorie version that you can get of the salad dressing. And then I just smother it in Thousand Island.

You can't see my salad. You just see a plate. It's the least healthy thing you've ever made. Yes, you see a plate of Thousand Island, but underneath that there are some vegetables, and I freaking love a really robust salad bar. It's fantastic. It's the customization you like from the ice cream.

Yes. You get to do it the way you want to do it. One of the best parts of the salad bar, if it's a good salad bar, is that they have full pepperoni slices. Yes, they do. And I've never had more. I don't have pizza with as much pepperoni as a salad at a salad bar. Pepperoni seems to only exist in salad bars for salads. Right.

It's just like you always see them in salad bars, but rarely do you get a pepperoni salad. Like, that's not a menu item, right? No, I get what you're saying. There's no menu item that's like a pepperoni salad. I've never seen a salad that I could think of that comes with pepperoni on it. But every salad bar has pepperoni on it. Yeah, what's that all about? It's fantastic.

So salad bar would have been one of my next two picks for sure. Nice. Because of the customization factor, right? You're going to make it the way you want as much dressing as you want. Bacon was definitely on the list. So you guys took a couple of favorites there. Number one is going to be a pizza buffet. Ah, okay.

I mean, I thought Jason, you were going to go there instead of the bacon, but a pizza buffet, I can just eat as much as I want. They got variety. I can, I thought, Jason, you were going to go there instead of the bacon, but a pizza buffet, I can just eat as much as I want. They got variety. I can intermingle. I mean, between, hey, I want a meat pizza. I want, oh, they got dessert pizza out there now. Totally agree, except the hard part with a pizza buffet is you either have to be a hawk. Oh, for when they put the new pizzas out?

You just circle around until they actually put a fresh one out, or you're eating just the most lukewarm, loose, floppy pizza that's been sitting there forever. As you say, you're eating the least favorite if you're not hawking. Yeah, but a good pizza buffet, they've got it. There's a lot of them cooks with the big hats, and they're putting them out there. Yeah, and the nice thing is you might be listening and think pizza at the buffet is not the best pizza and it's not right.

But the floor of pizza is higher than almost every other type of food. There is no such thing as bad pizza. I go to a buffet and grab a slice of pizza and I eat it and I don't think this is bad for pizza. I go pizza. Yeah. That's what I say to this next pick. It's very difficult because I'm just worried about what's going to come back to me. You two are, you know, hungry gentlemen. And I'm just worried about what can I sneak beyond your next four picks. It's tough, but I'm going to go with pancakes. I'm going to go with the breakfast pancakes.

You get as many as you want to have. You can go back and, oh, I want a little extra pancake at the end of my breakfast. I just think the pancakes in the buffet, it's easy for them to... It works, right? It's so easy. Pancakes are the easiest thing for anyone to ever make. Yeah, and they can stack. They can sit there under a heat lamp if they need to, and they're still good. I mean, I'm going to go with pancakes.

As much dap as I gave you for the pizza, the ceiling of pancakes is very low. Well, you do need to... Yeah, that's fair. You do need to, you know, syrup those bad dogs up. of course butter butter oh butter oh butter this guy i don't know i i'm sure we've done hundreds of episodes i'm sure we've talked about it but it's worth knowing again no one butters things more than mr andy holloway've never, he gets a full lump of butter.

Is that what you call it? A scoop of butter, a butter ball. Yeah, whatever it is. You know, we go out to Cracker Barrel, get Mama's French Toast. Oh, I missed those. We got to do that again. Yeah, well, yes, please.

Let's go to town. And he'll get one of those big balls of butter, and it's more, I love butter. I'm all about that life. But it's usually more than I use, one of those things of butter. And Andy goes, can I get like three more of those? It's one per French toast piece. Two facts about that.

One, I found out recently my cholesterol is very high. Okay. Wait, really? Number two, I don't know why. Why haven't they not come out with the syrup with the butter 50-50? They try. 50-50. That's what I want on my pancakes.

I mean, they have that butter. Mrs. Buttersworth didn't put enough butter. The butter at Texas Roadhouse. There's already some. Wait, the butter has syrup or the syrup has butter? It doesn't have syrup, but it's like the cinnamon butter. Oh, no, Mike. I'm talking about maple syrup and butter as one i feel like the cinnamon butter though would be

yeah it would be a good time i'm not complaining yeah we should give it a go all right mike back to you for science all right i'm gonna go with another food that uh you can eat a whole bunch of it and just trying to think through a buffet, it can sit there for a while. Like you said, it's under the heat lamp. So it's been there for a while, but it's still going to be good. Some good old-fashioned. I'm going to give you some fried chicken. Okay, yeah.

It's hearty. It's crunchy. It's probably filled with tons and tons of chemicals. It's more like chicken tenders then, right? No, actual. Oh, right? No. No, actual. Oh, just fried chicken. Yeah, like give me a leg, a fried chicken leg, like KFC style.

I can almost hear it kind of like making sounds with its fried breading. In your stomach. Yes, that as well. All right. Talk about redlining. Yeah. You know, I think I prefer the strips at the buffet to the to the to the bone in i just don't trust them i don't wait i'm in the same boat that's why

i was kind of trying to trust i don't trust buffet places to do fried chicken and not kill me somehow but like interesting feels more self-contained because you know they brought in the strips yeah the strips are from the freezer. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of varieties that you can buffet. You can buffet wings. You can buffet nuggets. You can buffet strips.

You can buffet fried chicken. So you want to go pay 50 plus dollars for food and you're like, hey, get it out of the freezer and prepare that for me? Do you know how much of that I can eat? Yeah, I do. I do. I want to dip it in that delicious ranch you talked about earlier all right two picks Jason all right two picks my first pick is mashed potatoes because when I am at a buffet and I'm loading up all these different things mashed

potatoes there's a wide range of outcomes it is but mashed potatoes double as a dip I can dip everything in mashed potatoes I mean you're not wrong i i you know it's one of those things where i'll go to a fancy steakhouse and you know you don't ask for steak sauce that's faux which is i know it's dumb get out of here with your snootiness if i want to if someone wants to put ketchup with their steak that's fine well that's let it happen that's not fine but um yes it is just your steak sauce is just fancy ketchup or order bordelaise sauce and and you'll thank me but if you get mashed potatoes like i feel like i can dip it the steak in the mashed potatoes oh man that's one of my all-time favorites only criticism on the mashed potatoes okay

i'm ready for thinking about a buffet i love to not think another person's been there before me the the mashed potato tray has a bunch of evidence that somebody else has been scooping in this tray and i know it should be safe but you grab a piece of chicken no one knows that someone was there before you that and what do you do like do you are you down for the mashed potato tray that's like three quarters done and you're grabbing the edges well i think that's or Are you down for the mashed potato tray that's like three quarters done and you're grabbing the edges? Or do you wait for the next tray? I think it's the same as all of them.

Is there one little piece of fried chicken left in that tin? Well, you got there last. The runt of the litter. Grab it. Same on the mashed potatoes. So I'm fine with all stages of mashed potatoes. And then the last one I'm going with this might surprise you fellas uh and it might be exactly what you think i don't know um because either one i don't know what you're thinking um but this is the truest jason

more pick because um if i go to a buffet they usually have this and it's something that I don't get anywhere else in life I've never seen it on another menu like ever but every buffet has it at least Golden Corral's and I the pinnacle of buffets and I will

eat more than I should get more than I should get seconds and do some damage is it bread pudding it's very similar it is the banana cream pudding with wafers like the whole dessert banana cream I knew it was something in that vein yeah so the pudding bar the pudding yes the pudding bar um okay I thought sweet mercy I thought banana pudding was my first guess but I was like I don't know if they have that as often as bread pudding. Either one will do for Mr. Moore.

Also, for all the comments about me calling it a tub, their restaurant's called the Golden Corral. So let's just call it what it is, all right? They do it. Yeah. It might as well be tub of food. All right, Mike, your final pick. Let's see if I played the game right.

I'm sure you did because the final pick is simple for me because I can just, you know, it doesn't matter how much of this I take. I can just slap it on the plate. I'm going with macaroni and cheese. All right. That's a good pick. Your pick is safe, but mac and cheese. Also doubles as a dip.

It was up at the tippy top of my list. It also doubles as a dip, and there are the range of outcomes for mac and cheese. That's part of it. It can be too smooshy. There are some mac and cheeses that are way, way better than others. What makes it a bad mac and cheese? For me? Not enough?

No, noodles are way too soft when they're just mushy. Oh, that can happen. I need some texture. Structure. You need some structure. Or it can be too bad if it's too thick.

Too thick, yes. Where you're like, oh, that's Velveeta. Well, I'm very happy because my final pick, I want it to be something that's not normal for me to have too much of does that make

sense i hear you they're socially like if i go to a bakery and i say i want seven pastries right they might look at me if i sit there and eat them in the restaurant i'm i'm a bad guy you're getting shamed but if i'm at a buffet i can get as many cheese danishes and pastries as i want i'm going with pastries okay There's a stack of them. Every time, I go back for more of my main foods. Oh, you always add a pastry. Add a pastry! That's exactly right. I do that

every time. You should always have a pastry. You just throw one on the side like a dinner roll, except dinner rolls aren't as good as pastries. Do you make a comment every time you didn't know they were there? I always say, oh, you have pastries. Yeah. Oh, cheese danishes.

Oh, look at that. Yes. And the whole dynamics, and that'll wrap it up, by the way. I'll read the teams back. The teams are starting. Jason has bacon, meat carving station, mashed potatoes, and banana cream pudding with Nilla wafers. Mike has the omelet bar, the salad bar, the fried chicken, and the mac and cheese.

Very nice. And I have ice cream, sundae bar, pizza, pancakes, and pastries. The three Ps. All the Ps. But the whole dynamic of a buffet is always very, it's a little different. Because you're always doing the new plate thing too, right? Yeah. And if they're not quick enough coming and taking the other plates away, could have a lot of plates on the table some real problems it's just a different dynamic

it feels a little i do feel like we did a massive disservice and i totally understand why to buffets no no no no no they do a disservice yeah the shame meter in a buffet is always at least 20% to Chinese food buffets. Oh, you are correct. I mean, Chinese food buffets might be the pinnacle of buffets. Yeah. And I, you know, it's like I love everything there. Yeah. But if you just say like orange chicken, it just doesn't feel as good on this draft.

Mongolian beef. But if I can get orange chicken and Mongolian beef and some chow mein and some hot stickers and egg rolls. I mean, Chinese food buffets. I just had to give you a shout out. Yeah, those are great places. The only real things I had left on my list as core potential picks, sliders, if they have

them, that's rare. Rolls. Oh yeah, absolutely. But you got pastries. The poor man's pastry. And the waffles was going to be on there. I was going to go with waffles, but you took pancakes. Yeah. I just didn't want to get in that one. What a good man.

I had crab legs for your fancy buffets. Oh, yeah. French toast, the better pancake. Meatballs and fried shrimp. Okay. Fried shrimp. Well, yeah, because it's a buffet. You got to fry it to know it's safe.

That's fair. Yeah. Any final contenders, Mike? Those, the cinnamon apples. Oh, yeah. Okay. There's not very many places where you- The dessert.

Yeah. The pan dessert. Yeah, there's not a lot of them out there. Okay. But always the buffet. What did we learn today? I learned that people being fat is just science. That was my takeaway,

that the scientific journal was fat-shaming people. I genuinely learned that you can accidentally go up into the atmosphere in a hydrogen balloon and not die within two days. Wait, so he was doing something with a tree? Yeah, he was getting acorn nuts. How tall is an acorn tree? He was using it to get up to the tree.

Yeah. Wait, is it an acorn tree or do they grow on a different tree? I don't know this. Is it a pine tree, I think? Acorns grow on pine trees? I thought those were pine cones. Who knows, Mike? A mystery for next time.

I'm not a scientist. Thank you for following the show, subscribing. We appreciate you. Not a treeologist. Jointhespit.com is our community. Check it out. See you next time. I'm not a scientist. Thank you for following the show, subscribing. We appreciate you. Not a treeologist. Jointhespit.com is our community. Check it out. See you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out

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