Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Aging Into Things & The Perfect Pasta - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Spit Hit for July 25th, 2024: On today’s show, we banter about lawn mowing, breakfast fish, and telekinesis. We also offer up some free and life advice to a few lucky listeners. Lastly, we finish things up with a draft of the perfect pasta dish. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Blibbidi blabbidi blibbidi blibbidi blab blab doodle boop. Oh yeah! Yes! Blibbidi blabbidi blibbidi blibbidi blab blab do it a moment. Oh yeah! Yes! The pace was awesome! I liked it a lot. Coincidentally.

The ending was great. That's the sound of a man falling down a hill. Yeah, I don't know if that is. That was a live audio. Welcome into the Spitballers podcast, episode 239. Al Borland in the building. What's up, Spitwads? Sitting next to Judge Giamatti himself.

Heyo! And Andy, Mike and Jason, back with you. Another illuminating episode is in store. Of course, when did we switch that the judge was sitting in on all the shows? It doesn't sit in all of them. It's just that Al needs a lot of oversight. It's just sometimes it's redundancy.

It's important that the show... Otherwise, do you know how many episodes we've recorded that haven't gotten to you? Yes. 50. It's been a lot. Al, how do you feel about us having so many shows together and then we were like, yeah, you need someone back there with you to help?

Is that a? I appreciate Brooks and everything he does. Now I do feel like. Boring. If Brooks is gonna be sitting in here, we gotta make him scat at some point. Oh. Oh.

Brooks has had one scat before. It's happened, guys. Oh, all right. I Brooks has had one scat before. Oh, all right. I'm here more than you realize, I think. Wait. Hold on. Yeah, Brooks is always here. Brooks has done a scat? He has. He did a rig, dig, dig, dig, dig, something along those lines. Yeah. Oh, little Andy Bernard. That is exactly the inspiration. Yeah, no.

That happened? Was Mike insinuating that? Mike, can I do that really? I remember it. I remember it. I think maybe Al was out, and so do not remember this. I remember it. I remember it. I think maybe Al was out, so I was substituting. But I, um, was Mike implicating the fact that, like, you didn't think he was normally here? He has been a

full time, since the evolution of the Spitballers podcast, he wasn't always there. But it's been a long time that he's been there. I know! I'm just saying that there was, I don't know, probably half of the shows? Or you've been in all that time? I think more than that.

I think more than that too. When did we hire this guy? Mike must not have a good angle at seeing us behind the monitor. Welcome in, life advice, would you rather any perfect pasta dish draft coming your way? And here we go. Would you rather, would you rather question from Jeff, would you rather be

stuck outside for 12 days straight, never going inside a home or a building, or stuck inside of your home for 120 days straight, not even allowed in your backyard? What month is it? That's a great question. I mean, we gotta have a little bit more detail. It is a temperate climate.

Oh, okay. It gets a little chilly. It's very nice outside? It gets a little chilly at night. It is a temperate climate. Oh, okay. It gets a little chilly outside? It gets a little chilly at night, it gets a little hot in the afternoon. So like September. Well that's a nightmare outside. September is a nightmare outside. No, I was gonna say March, late March.

I just told you, you get a little, it gets a little cold at night, eats a little hot for three hours in the afternoon and then it's pretty okay. Okay. So 12 days straight of camping That's a long. That's wow. We said the opposite at the same time

I was literally saying that's not a long time and you were saying that's a long time It's a long time to camp. Have you camped before tent and sleeping bag? Have you gone camping a lot? Yes. No, I mean Yes to the first question. Have you gone camping before the a lot? Yes. I mean, yes to the first question, have you gone camping before? The a lot part is no. I have never camped. Really? Never a once in a tent?

Nope. I think everybody should do a once. Oh, absolutely. When I was growing up, we did it quite often. I mean, that was like one of our go-to, can you call that a vacation? I don't know. Yes.

Getaway. Excursion. Excursion. We would go camping all the time, but never more than like three days. 12 is a lot for camping. If you went to four days, it's like, no, okay, three days was right. I can't imagine going to 12.

And you said you can't go inside a home or building, but I could go like shower in the pool or whatever. Like go rinse off in the pool. Yeah I mean I'm am I on the backyard? Am I on the property? Al? We need some rules here. Yeah am I in a like is it like my existing home and I just have to close the door and then I'm outside? It could be anywhere you want. You could you could roam. Anywhere? Yeah that makes sense. That's the beauty of being outside. We can just go anywhere. Am I packing for this? No. So I've got to go find some food every day.

Do I got a wallet for 12 days? Yeah, you can buy food. But you've got to eat it outside, obviously. For all intents and purposes, I'm a homeless person for 12 days. But you can't walk through the drive-thru. They won't serve you. They will not allow that you're gonna have to literally Give a stranger your card and say will you go by farmers market? I'm going outside to one of those Work so back to the drive-through is this a safety thing that they have declared that because it's for cars That's why yeah, they won't let you on a bicycle

Yeah, I've run into a couple folks that seem like they'd be willing to give me a burger. I'm sure I could make it through a drive-through on me. You can't. If I told them my situation- You think they're that rule-focused? I think so. I think they're going to lay down the law and they're going to say, sir, this is for vehicles only.

What if I give you an extra 20? That's what I'm going to say, and they're going to be like, sure. I've never gone that route because- What if you say you identify as a car. Oh, you just beep beep. I am a car Car sound yeah, I'm sure I am in my car. We have a camera. You're gonna have to speak up. My engines really loud If you serve foot traffic according to Brooks who's often here during the show My engine's really loud. I'll take a whopper. If you serve foot traffic, according to Brooks, who's often here during the show, there's safety and insurance risks serving foot traffic. So insurance makes sense.

If you start, because if they serve you, they're saying it's okay to do what you're doing, which would be a liability if you get hurt doing it. Now I think this is really just an anti-h anti homeless people rule that they're coming up with they this is really rude of Fast-food establishments the homeless you say you have to have a car No, the only time I've run into something go in the building. They're not under this Oh, that's not not Taco Bell at 2 a.m. My man. Yeah, they locked down that lot The lobby is shut down. Also the homeless people are discriminated against between 12 and 2 a.m I'm just talking about me trying to trying to roll up the Taco Bell when I'm I mean is this question kind of like It's basically like you're homeless

But you just can't ever go into any other building building lists Because you could be in your backyard. I 120 days straight stuck inside. Look I know from the COVID days the quarantine was what 30 days or something. It was not good. 120 days is a long time. There was actually a movie I don't remember if it was called The Pink Cloud. Have any of you guys seen this movie? Nope. I think I know what you're talking about. So it came out a few years ago and ironically it was made before the pandemic or anybody even knew about the pandemic. But it almost tied right into it where this pink cloud comes and settles through a city. And what ends up happening is, is if you can't go outside,

nobody can go outside ever again. And so they set up this system where they're like, you're stuck inside and they can deliver stuff to almost like a drive-through window at your house that's an airlock so that food gets delivered, but everybody lives inside forever. Wow. Didn't seem great. It didn't seem like a good time.

How was the movie? The movie was all right. Do you remember, just first, a yes or no, do you remember the first restaurant that you went to after, you know, when it was like the quarantine, you hadn't gone out, you hadn't done anything, do you remember like, I'm at a restaurant? I remember, I remember, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm out in public at a place again. No just me. I don't know. I remember door dashing a burrito from Chipotle during quarantine and

as I ate my burrito I'm like I'm going to get it from the burrito because yeah because I couldn't not get Chipotle. You thought you had made the sacrifice. Yeah. I thought there was there was a percentage chance that my family was going to get it because I needed Chipotle. You had made it made a choice. Yeah. I think you got to take the time here. This is a 12 days. It's taking 12 days. It's 12 days. It's going to suck. You're going to have to. It might be refreshing. I think it will be more revealing than refreshing. I don't think I'll be refreshed at the end of this.

I think I'll be like, let me in! Yeah, that's what I'm going with. But I will certainly have a higher respect for the homeless. No teasing this out, but quick question. If it was 12 days outside or 30 days inside? Oh, I'm inside. Inside. I could take 30 days, no problem.

That's what I thought, yeah. Simeon from the website, would you rather have the ability to shape shift or have telekinesis? That's mind bullets. That's what telekinesis is? Yeah, telekinesis is move stuff with your mind. Yeah.

Oh. Telepath. Theoretically, you can also move bullets, is what you're telekinesis is move stuff with your mind. Yeah. Oh. Telepathically, you can also move bullets is what you're saying. Exactly. It's not just mind bullets. It's not just mind bullets, but that's like according to D. Jason, he's shutting out the D. Yeah.

Oh, thank you. The people knew. Shape, shape shift or have telekinesis. Shape shift is, is there any limits to that? I could become a chair. I mean, you could become a bowling ball. I think you Can I become other people only? I? Usually it would be other people shape-shifters go from people to people

but I will argue in favor of the fact that if you can control your Body to change shapes and size and colors, you should be able to change it to look like a cactus. I just want to know the limits on either of these. Like telekinesis, am I moving anything anywhere ever? I think so. No. Yeah.

No. I do not think so. I think that is ridiculous and I would never agree to that. I'm saying there is a, it's like a muscle. So number one, you're're gonna have to work it out But you get it gets sore there will be oh, yeah You get headaches migraines like you wouldn't believe you can't move the moon But yeah, there has to be a limit on on weight that you can actually move trying to do it right now

Cuz if you could move anything with your mind I'm trying to move one of those lights above your head mic to fall on you. Well, just keep trying It's not any any moment now Nope. Nope. I mean who who among us hasn't tried to move something with your mind at some point. I have 100% I have. Yeah. I remember being a young man and really giving it my all. Just I had one day. Was it after a Star Wars episode or? I don't think so, but something sparked the curiosity and the creativity in me. What is giving it your all? Giving it my all. It's a great question. Giving it my all was probably spending an hour. But what were you, were you tensing up your body? Were you just thinking about it real hard?

Staring? Or is it scary all Trying to figure out look there is a special sauce here and I got to figure out is it belief Yes hard enough. Yes, is it is it? Focus and energy. What is it? But I'm gonna I'm here to tell you I don't think it's possible. I That's funny. You said the belief thing because there's been part of me going like if I could convince myself But I could move that I would Yeah, cuz that's all it's just that it's just that I I know deep down that I can't do it So I can't you know, no with an attitude like that. So Only I could truly believe.

I'm here to tell you it's not possible, huh? That's very funny. So, there's gotta be a weight limit, let's say. For the telekinesis? Yeah, I'll put it at... Can you move a person? I will put it at whatever you can... Move in real life. Bench or squat.

Yeah, I can move a person. I mean, I'm trying to... Honestly, I'm... You're just gonna leave you breathless. If I can move a person. I mean I'm trying to I honestly I'm gonna leave you breathless if I can move a person That's take my breath away the majesty Whoa I'm Breathless, it's funny if I can move a person with my mind. I I can be very it controls some people hearts. I know the shape-shifting

I can too because they could appear like anybody hard. Now the shape shifting I can too, because they can appear like anybody they know. Oh, you are a celebrity. You want that reservation. You wanna go to the Met Gala? You wanna get into the fanciest table at the fanciest restaurant? Just walk right in, Mr. Clooney.

Who hasn't wanted to live one day in Joe Biden's body? Oh yeah. Right this way, Mr. President, or right this way, Mr. Bank Manager. Yeah. OK, hold on. Hold on.

Into the vault. I'm here for the vault maintenance. We get to choose one person that we can shape shift into and out of. Just one. Do I only get to do it once or forever? No, you get to do it forever. You can go back and forth, but you can only pick one person on the planet.

Wow, that is... Who would it be? And Andy, why would you choose Margot Robbie? Would you just become Margot Robbie? That's not getting talked about. That's heading in a bad direction. My first thought was actually Elon Musk, because he's part of so many different unique companies

that I would get to be a part of those forever, whether it's going, you know, the Rockets or the AI. You're in that jello body. That part would be, have you seen that thing? My thought immediately. It's pasty. My thought immediately went to like well I'll go Chris him's right you know what I mean like I just want to look at yourself

in a mirror by a mirror that'll do that not just look at yourself in the mirror but I would imagine if I wanted to go do activities if I wanted to go do a hike you want to go do like be LeBron that's a pretty good good one. Be a sport, be Mahomes? LeBron is peak humanity. I think LeBron might be the answer. He's a little old now. You might have to pick somebody else. He's still doing okay. No, I'm just saying, you said you're going to do it for a while. I need to target like a younger athlete.

I feel like you get to say what year. I'll pick the age of LeBron like give me but you don't get their talent So when you check up a three you're bricking it. I already have the talents. I just needed the bodies I don't always been vertical. You've been one LeBron body short. Yep all these years. I Probably true. I promise you this if I had LeBron's body every ounce of strength I Could be in the NBA. I wouldn't be LeBron, but I mean, there's not many human beings walking the planet that have that kind of size and ability.

Mike, who do you have? I was thinking of a bigger person. I was like, do I wanna be like, who's the guy that's the Mountain? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The original or the replacement? You mean the zombie? There were two guys that played the Mountain. Was there? On Game of Thrones, yeah, yeah, yeah with the the original or the replacement You mean the zombie there were two guys that played the mountain was there on Game of Thrones? Yeah, wait when he's really unimportant Oh, no, no, this is when he would became a zombie. It was a different actor No, I think they replaced the actor a few seasons through how can you change the mountain and I didn't even know

He's in a coat of arms the whole time. That's what I was asking, zombie one. I mean, that's what I'm saying, it doesn't matter. Because if you're hidden, you can change them out. Yeah, that's fair. But the original, I just want to be really tall and really strong. My final answer is telekinesis. You guys have a final answer?

Assuming it's not the one person shape shift lock, that one's. Yeah, if I can go to anybody, I'm shape shape-shifting yeah all right Farah from Twitter would you rather have a personal assistant or a chauffeur man I feel like I could make my personal assistant drive me around you know it's all no this is against the rules for this question yeah yeah that's fair have And have it. So the personal assistant, like the chauffeur, you have to go a lot of places for that to pay off. Not a lot.

You just, you don't have to drive. I mean, the personal assistant is very valuable. Very valuable. If I had a personal assistant. If they were good at their job. I would have been at the dentist regularly if I had a personal assistant. A lot more than that.

Scheduling things is like. Grab me some tickets to the game tonight and set it Up for me. Oh, man. That's what you get to do Yeah If you have I have to have a personal assistant that knows that I don't have to teach how to be one When I feel like the challenge is with with like having one is they got to know you yeah Oh, they have to know everything about you. I have to be able to say, you know, when are my children's performances, which day, what's their rehearsal schedule, because I don't remember what's going on.

If they get you the ticket on the airplane flight, they better get you what you like, the aisle or the... They're doing a lot more than a chauffeur. A ton more. A chauffeur is doing one thing. When you can't make it to the kids thing, you say write them a card for me. But the chauffeur's value when you need it is doing one thing. When you can't make it to the kids thing, you say write them a card for me. But the chauffeur's value when you need it is so extremely great.

Does the chauffeur at least come with a really cool car in this situation? Yes, it's a limo. It's a limo? Yeah. Do you want a limo or do you want like a? A black SUV probably. Or like armored out.

Just because. Like Mad Max armored out? No, like President of the United States armored know, I want to make sure that you know I'm rolling deep When I when I roll up to someplace if I got a chauffeur, I'm gonna be able to look let me let me ask you this if you had a chauffeur permanently, I Guess I know one of these answers and then I'll extend it but you would you Go more places. Yes or no

extended but you would you go more places yes or no yes and then yes okay and then would you take that like you want to scoot over to I don't know San Diego from here you got a ride I would I would definitely like when we go to California I prefer to fly I know some people don't mind that drive because it's not the end of the world is five six-hour drive you leave when you want all that but I prefer flying because I I know some people don't mind that drive because it's not the end of the world. It's a five, six hour drive. You leave when you want, all that benefit. I prefer flying because I just don't like driving for five or six hours. Riding for five or six hours? Yeah, in the back of a limo.

I'm playing some games on my phone. You're getting work done. No, I'm playing some games on my phone. Yeah, his work. Yeah, my work. Candy crush. What are you talking about? His candies aren't going to crush themselves.

I used to like the show. Level 3000. Every time you go to a sporting event, we all hate driving downtown. Yes. You got to ride. You want to go? I think I do so much more, genuinely.

The drive parking situation for things in busy environments, so annoying. Well, and I joke about playing games on the drive. But you're just waiting for you. In truth, you can be very productive. You know, we drive to work and from work every single day. That's a lot of time in our life that we could get back productive. Yeah, I'm on my laptop on the drive. Would they be able to could you very important taking a nap? You are getting nothing. Oh, I will have

a CPAP machine machine that car will come stocked with a seat back for all the naps yes sir a CNAP very nice would you get to use the chauffeur for like kids drop-offs and pickups absolutely it's my chauffeur and so that's my pick really Really? Follow-up question. How much would we have to increase Jeremy's pay to have him just be waiting 24-7 as a chauffeur? That's a great question. That's kicked over to you, Al.

And I want to clarify. This was not a misspeak. 24-7. Any time that I Press my chauffeur button. Yeah, you are either waiting or you'll be there in 15 minutes 15 to 20 minutes 35% that's it. Oh man guys. We got to talk. We got to talk after this show I think oh, but we got to get him a car. You know how much an armored SUV is It's me. Why is it armored now? It's awesome You know how much an armored SUV is? Why is it armored now?

Because it's awesome! I don't think Jason realizes that the armored SUV looks just like the regular one. They design it so you can't tell there's a difference. Yeah, the pub's not riding right in a tank. Yeah, but shoot it. Yeah, I mean I'm not disagreeing that that'd be cool. Alright, regular, super nice black SUV. Am I alone taking the chauffeur?

I don't know. I feel like I am. I'm really torn right now. When you're a type A person like me, I am my own personal assistant. Yeah, it is hard to trust. Like we had a... I already do.

I would already wanna do the stuff that I'm trying to assign to them. I'll just do it. We did a vacation where we thought this was brilliant. We used a travel agent for the first time ever. Not like a travel agent company like going through Costco, but like we had a travel agent. They helped us out, they booked it, they planned it,

they sent us these emails. It was really super nice. But then along the way, it's like I, you know, if a mistake is made, which there was. By you or by the? No, by the travel agent. By the paid travel agent. And so it's like, well now I didn't do this.

I don't feel like I have recourse. I don't know what to do. And all of a sudden as soon as something, it's kind of like what you're saying, Andy, where you are relying on someone and if you don't think they're doing as good a job as you would have done, then it's really not a benefit. It's more time that you gotta go fix problems. So I think I'm riding dirty in the backseat. It's riding very clean, actually.

Super clean, yeah. There's a phrase, you know. Mike, ugh. They would like take care of your bills and stuff. I mean, yeah, they'll take care of the bills Do not pay your bill could you float my cable this this month for me You haven't paid electric yet. There's the I think The chauffeur the chauffeur sounds so good. What's funny is when this question was first asked I literally said the chauffeur does one thing personal assistant does a million. I

thought it was going to be a home run for the personal assistant. Great question. Tell Sarah I need to look into chauffeur costs. Apparently 35 percent 35 percent. Not bad. Wario from the website has a lot of gold well done this is a bad guy would you rather wear a diaper this question has been in our doc probably for three months straight at the we never get to this is never we've never gotten to it would you rather wear a diaper is so happy now would you rather wear a diaper under your clothes and have to do all your bathroom duties in said diaper or always wear a diaper on the outside of your clothes but simply as

a fashion statement? Oh no. Oh man. Now are you just for clarity here, if it's under my clothes, does that mean you can't tell? Oh, you can tell every time you walk. You can tell every time you sit. You're swishing. You know that sound.

The area's gonna look larger. We all had babies. When a baby has a full load, a boom boom, in the diaper, everybody knows. But I'm not doing- You might have a full load. A boom boom in the diaper. Everybody knows. You might have a blowout. But if this situation is, let's say I choose the diaper under my clothes, I got to do my duty in the diaper. I'm not doing that at my desk. Oh, you're telling me you're not going to start to spread your wings a little bit once you know you've got it? On a number one. Okay, on a number one, I might get a little free and be like know you've got it. On a number one. Okay on a number one I might

get a little free and be like I can just do that right here. What happens the next time you go into the bathroom for a number two and it's just kind of all nice and you know it just works out. No it doesn't. It couldn't work out. I'm a grown man. That's going to be a problem every time. But my point is I would go to the bathroom, either a private bathroom or go into a stall, I would do it in my diaper, but then I would take the diaper off, clean myself. You'd change yourself? There's no way we could pick doing it in the diaper.

There's just no way. The other one though, you're wearing a diaper outside your clothes all the time. Oh man. You look ridiculous. And how do you justify that? How do you meet new people? How do you go to a social event?

It's just my thing. Oh man, you go to a social event and say, who's the dude... People are gonna remember you. Who's the dude wearing a diaper outside of his pants? It's clearly over, it's not like whatever I've got underneath it is hidden. Even if I'm in shorts, the diaper's clearly over. It's not like whatever I've got underneath it is hidden. Even if I'm in shorts the diaper is clearly over my pants. They know it. They can see it. They go, what? It's also over your swimsuit when you're swimming. Oh man, a swimsuit in water. I don't know.

Or a diaper in water. Oh, I've been down that road. Those things. I mean not myself. Tell us more, Andy. But the kids when they were little. Can we at least use the like the blue jeans ones. Oh the blue jeans colored diapers. Yeah. So sort of looks like jeans. I mean you could tell it's a diaper. I mean do you lean in and just you just wear all baby stuff. Oh that make you less weird. No no, it does not. But I'm still putting them on the outside of my pants so that I can go to the bathroom in a toilet. I can't clean my body after it is diaper bag with you. Yeah, you would legitimately need that. You would have to have a chain. And if you go a couple of times in that bag, they're like, oh, he's used three diapers.

I had, we all had three children. So we have all, we, we have changed hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of diapers and yes, every now and then it's no problem. Yeah. Most of the time there's a problem there. 100% of the time there would a problem there 100% of the time There would be a problem with me. I mean there would never be a time where this smooshed Things that came out the back of me would not be a problem, so I mean I will I've got to get rid of the diaper Yeah, where do you if you're? Garbage can just throw it in the garbage can. We all like when you change kids diapers you are mostly at home and you've got a diaper

caddy or whatever you're out in public. You've got to get rid of it. You're not flushing the diaper. I'm putting it in the tiles of the roof in the bathroom. Those are baby diapers. It's not a man's man diaper. It's folded up. A man-sized diaper might as well be a football in size. Not happening. Give me that diaper. We're wearing them on the outside. Yeah. Spidmollers to the rescue.

So Al, we got some life advice questions here. Are these some pretty important ones? I mean, I haven't looked at them yet. They're very important to the people asking you. Okay. And it's time to help. Jesse from Patreon. I have a friend who constantly wants to go to karaoke bars. He loves them

I don't sing but he always wants me to come along with him. The problem is he's a terrible thing no not just mediocre but painfully bad as He is up on stage having the time of his life. I can feel the crowd just cringing with awkwardness Not only do I feel bad for him, but I feel like I become guilty by association and I just wanna run away, I guess because he would come back and sit next to you. What do I do?

I can only come up with excuses not to go so many times. This is Jesse's problem. Yeah, look, your friend has found something that brings them great joy, and they're not good at it apparently. Apparently they're very bad at it. However, karaoke's not my thing, but every time I've been around karaoke, 95% of the people who go up there are terrible.

And this is just a part of the karaoke experience is letting people who wish they could sing go up there and pretend to be a superstar for a little bit. So it's not just one person who's bad. I have not karaoke'd many times in my life because I hate karaoke. It's the worst. But the few times that I've gone, there's always a handful of people that all this person does is karaoke because they're a good singer. Not necessarily great, but they're good and they love to karaoke and be seen and show off their skills and great for you.

I can't stand karaoke. My advice to Jesse would be age out of it. You can't keep coming up with this. Absolutely. I aged out of karaoke. I aged out. And you can too, Jesse, at whatever age you are. You can say, yeah.

You can say I'm too old for this? I'm just too old for that now. It used to be my thing, but I don't like it anymore. Because then, you're talking about you can't keep coming up with excuses. Don't make more excuses. It's done. It's finality.

But hold on, hold on. But she's not performing. No. She's just going to support a friend. Can I age out of anything I want you cannot do yes Like anything I no longer want to be a part of I just say an example I would sweeten the floor thing that you think you'd home chores

Don't know about that, but we could try it honey. I think I've aged out of sweeping. I That's a young man's game. Give me another give me another example though of something that's in the karaoke realm that people do frequently. I mean you're sort of like bar hopping. You age out of bar hopping. What about like family reunions? What if Jesse's 22? Can I age out of a family reunion? You can age out of birthdays. Oh man, I need to age out of birthday parties. You're working on it. Yeah. But it's like, it's just activities. It's social activities, you know, like a wedding. Can I age out of going to a wedding? No. I'm

starting to see problems with my idea here. But the more common thing like. I thought you solved so many of our problems. Like bar hopping, like karaoke is. In your 90s, you're safe like that. A young person's game. Sure. And so I think. But Jesse's not even doing the karaoke. See to me, the problem is not just with Jesse.

It's also with the friend that wants to go to the karaoke bars. Cause they're so oblivious to the fact that makes Jesse miserable. Don't ask Jesse to go to the karaoke bar if she's miserable. What if... It's mutual. Jesse decides to show the friend what it feels like.

And Jesse gets up there... Oh, over the top? And is horrific and just awful. You've just signed yourself up for a duet every single time you go karaoke. Because obviously the other person doesn't know you're bad. If someone is painfully bad, they know. They know that they're not a good singer. I don't think so. Not from years of American Idol. It's not real stuff. So much of the time.

I just think there are some people that are so tone deaf they don't know. To them they sound good. I just think there are some people that are so tone-deaf. They don't know to them. They sound good Yeah, I guess I feel like if you're if you're that bad, you know Also find something else you do man. We have hundreds of thousands of people listening to this and I would just encourage everyone Please age out of karaoke all of you listening Please stop with carry. I would say there is there is not much, so I don't go out very much, old man. Aged out. Yeah, I've aged out of going out really. And the few times, like if you just, okay, hey, well, okay, I'll meet you at this bar grill or whatever, that's fine. And you go and then

out of nowhere, karaoke starts. It is terrible because it is, they make it the loudest thing in the entire world. And you're like, well, what do I do now? Is it just, is the night done? Do we find a new place to go with that? So when the karaoke karaoke sneaks up on you, it is a terrible event. And only one person likes karaoke at a time. You know know nobody likes listening to that random person who showed up sing Other than that random person who see yeah, and maybe they're one or two friends Jason

We just talked about symphonies you said they put you to sleep Do you rather go to a symphony for three hours or do karaoke for 30 minutes? You rather get a great nap in yeah, you're asking I would love to go to that symphony You can get a great nap in? Yeah. That's what you're asking Jason. I would love to go to that symphony. You can get a great nap or even better. You have to sit first row. You have to sit first row with the nap. Great. I would.

You don't. You're not worried about it. I genuinely think I would love a symphony. Not napping. I think I would actually just really like a symphony. Would you fall asleep in the first? I've aged into symphonies. How old are you? I'd like to go to the symphony. Oh you're very old. Okay. You've had many a birthday. Would you fall asleep in the front row of a musical? No. No. Any live performance. Like a symphony? Yeah. I wouldn't fall asleep in the front row either. Anytime that there's, that's just so rude. I mean, how many rows back do you have to be to where you'd be willing to do it?

20. Oh, okay. So in a shadow. You gotta be a ways back. Yeah. Hugh from Patreon, my coworker keeps microwaving fish for lunch and stinking up the whole office. How can I tell them that everyone in the office hates their guts because of it? They seem oblivious. That's HR. You, your office better have an HR and they need HR needs to handle this. This is not allowed. Hugh, I would imagine they're listening right now and I'm glad you didn't name

them by name. Um, but if you are someone who has microwaved publicly microwaved fish, you need to listen to that you need to understand that you have caused a problem. And maybe it's one of those you can't smell it because you're too close you adjust. There is a place here that I love to frequent. Nice establishment and they've got fish on the menu and I want to get fish every time. I won't order fish from this place because all the tables are close together because I don't want to ruin someone

else's. Whoa, I would never not order fish at a restaurant. Because I don't want to ruin someone else's meal because fish. Interesting. What type of restaurant is it? It's like a bar restaurant, you know, uh, I'm saying what kind of with the cuisine. So is it expected that people are ordering fish? No, it's not expected. They've got pizzas and you know Sliders and what type of fish is it that you're ordering? That's so stinky. They've got a sea bass I've never ordered it, but they've got a couple different fish on the menu, but I just feel ordering that's so stinky. They've got a sea bass, I've never ordered it,

but they've got a couple different fish on the menu, but I just feel like that's, if I'm eating my sliders, I'm having a good time, and the person right next to me orders fish, I'm not gonna be mad at them. I have grace, but I'm not gonna be happy. I'm gonna be like, dag, nab like, I don't want to smell your fish. The restaurant's giving you permission to stink up the joint if they put fish on the menu. I'm putting a sticky note that says no fish allowed right on the microwave. Oh yeah.

And I'm gonna do it as many times as it takes. I might add the words company policy to the sticky note at some point. Signed the boss. That is, um, it's just egregious inside of a small business. It really, it's like bringing fish on an airplane. It's like dropping a stink bomb into the whole office. But while they're eating, while people are eating, it's lunchtime. And it's like, you know what I want to do?

I want to ruin this for everyone. Do you remember years ago, we used to work together at a game company. I do remember that. And one time, somebody had breakfast fish. Breakfast fish? Somebody came in and it might've been an early lunch. I don't know, it was in the tins.

Tin something in the morning. Someone cooked up a breakfast fish egg plate or something. And I remember walking into that office and I thought it was over. I thought it was done. I thought there was a dead body in the middle of that, of that building. Why does fish smell so bad?

Like I like fish, I enjoy fish. But no one can sit there and be like, oh I love the smell of fish. Has anyone ever said they're like, mmm, that smells fishy. Yeah, cuz you have removed them completely from their environment. They're supposed to stay in the water. Would we stink in the water? Yes Terribly. If you cooked us. Yeah Yeah, if you microwaved us underwater. If you put us in like some hot springs, we stink. Okay. That's true. It's the, um, it's the inverse. Yeah. You figured it out. Salmon doesn't stink that much though, right? It's still, it's all stinky. It's all stinky. It's whatever. All right. We got time for one more. Should we

draft? Let's do one more. Do you have a preference? Should I answer the first one or the second one? Let's go with Larson. Larson says we recently had a new neighbor move in next door. We stopped by introduced ourselves and gave them the obligatory. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to stop by and ask. We literally did this Moments ago to a neighbor's suite down here

Every Saturday morning since they moved in He has come by and asked to borrow my lawnmower How do I suggest that it is time for him to purchase his own lawnmower? I Can't really say it broke because he will see me mowing my own lawn I can't really say it broke because you will see me mowing my own lawn. Uh, have any of you ever been in this situation before? No, and I will tell you why you don't introduce yourself to your neighbors. Step one, don't introduce yourself. But if you do step two, check this out. Hey, uh, my name is Mike. We just moved in, uh, next door. What's your name?

Oh, nice to meet you. Hope, hope you see you around. That's it. That's the end of the conversation. No, no, no, no, no. I don't need to say hey if you need something come to my house No, no, no, you know what they do. You know what you just said you said hope to see you around guess who ding-dong Yeah, oh you hope to see me around. Well now you get to you invited them with that phrase to come see you Sure all the time and you know what's out front of my house? A camera. And I will just say, hey. I thought you were going to say a door.

No, it's a camera. And I say, oh, hey, I'm not available right now. Never come back. I mean, so one option as my question is to be entirely inhospitable and a terrible name no no no no no it is not it is not I hope being the opposite of hospital to say it's obligatory to say don't hesitate if you need something you don't have to do that you say it you should mean it yes I agree with that secondly I hope that at some point Mike and don't take this the wrong way but I hope at some point you

have a home invasion and you run to your neighbor and you knock on the door and you need help and they say I don't know who you are that get away from it could happen that that could happen although I would just run I don't know what I'm going going to my neighbors neighbor I need you to help me. Go get that home invader. You go to the neighbor for 911, bro. This is before cell phones? This is a weird 1985 scenario you're cooking up. I think he could go to his pocket. I mean, clearly they tied you up. They took all your cell phones and then you escaped out the back door.

This is so obvious. Oh, that makes a lot more sense. Honestly, the limit, what's your internal limit? Let's reverse it real quick. Cause see if we can figure this out. If you needed something from a neighbor, cause I could see, let's say, here's a good example, an extension ladder. You're hanging something.

Not everybody owns an extension ladder. If you see your neighbor out with one, you might go, hey, can I borrow that for a second? How many times does your sensibilities allow you to borrow their extension ladder before you would go buy a ladder for yourself that's twice oh twice I was gonna go I think three is mine the third the third ask I will do it but I would feel shame you'll tell them on yes yes getting one yeah sorry last time Yes

Now is there a time period in between asks that would make it a permanent arrangement like if you needed the extension ladder once Yearly, would you continue to borrow it indefinitely? Yes, that's fine. Yeah, if it's spaced out that far I think a year between you Christmas lights. Yeah, that's I think that's perfectly except Yeah, that's that's fine extension ladders can be. Now, I do have a solution for this person. I have a solution as well. I'm curious if it's the same one. Why don't you tell me yours? I'd be mowing my lawn exactly when they want to borrow it. Oh. Every time they come over to borrow it is when I choose to mow my lawn. I will not mow it. I was just about to mow my lawn. I'm sorry. I was just about to mow it, I actually need to use it.

And it's about to break when I finish up. I feel like that's not gonna stop them from borrowing because then it's gonna. I will mow so slow. I will, if they're watching me, I will mow so slow. So when I read this question. That's why they call it slow-mow? Yeah.

When I, that's not good and I liked it. Yeah, but I got you. Yeah, I mean, it really didn't get me and it really was bad. Let the record show I... it was in my head and I actively passed on even saying that joke before. You would have got to laugh. Yeah, from me. No, when I read this question I thought, what the heck's the problem here? Just let them borrow it.

Here's what I would do. I would put it behind my side fence. Just let them use it indefinitely. With a tarp over it and just be like, anytime you want it, just go grab it. You're welcome to use it every day of your life. But is there a wear and tear? Not a lawnmower.

Arizona, we have rocks out front. Is there? You're not a lawnmower. I just heard, I heard the same thing. You're not a lawnmower, Arizona we have rocks out front. Is there? You're not a lawn mower. I just heard the same thing. You're not a lawn mower, Mike. Thank goodness for clearing that up. I get what you're saying. I am not a cat. You're not a mower of the lawn. I'm ready to proceed. Yes, I do not, I'm not out there mowing. Is like there's wear and tear parts that often need to be replaced on a lawn mower, correct? I think I'm with Jason

I think they don't you let it burn down placed but it will obviously We need the handyman. Yes, they're all they're all breakdown. Yeah for sure But like how how often does something need to be fixed and is it expensive? It's not super expensive. But yeah, the more you use it the more you're gonna have to replace stuff I mean if they were barring your car every week, that'd be a problem. Yeah, because that's depreciating an asset that is far more expensive. Just imagine you have twice the size of your yard. So what?

You wouldn't care if you mowed twice the size of your yard? You got a yard, they got a yard, it's twice the size of your yard? I am fine with them. Would you let them use it, Al? It depends. If this is an old school push mower, go for it. If I have a really nice riding lawn mower, that would make a big difference. Yeah, they might ride it over some rocks or something.

Right. Would you be worried about them breaking? Is that the hesitation? Yeah, it's a lot more expensive investment that I'm loaning out, so yeah, I would be. You could get a free lawn mower out of it if they're the one that has it when they break it. They're putting it back broken.

That's true. They're not gonna tell you. Am I the only one here that, like, I wouldn't mind at all, like, there's not 1% of me that would. You would mind if it was every day, so there is a limit. I wouldn't mind every day if they were grabbing it. Like, I don't wanna come to the door

and get my lawnmower out for you. What if they have to put in a garage code and take it out of your garage every day? You'd let them do it? If I trust the person. But I'm putting it on the side yard. Oh so you wear and tear from the sun. Yeah so it's under a tarp. It's a beautiful tarp Andy. Oh really? But also your neighbor will borrow it a couple times and then your mower is just going to be gone because you're leaving your lawnmower out front. That thing's getting snatched. It's in the backyard. Brooks, you'd be annoyed.

Oh my gosh, I'd be so annoyed with this guy. Yeah, thanks, Brooks. I would speak up and tell him, like, no. Yeah, well, Brooks is even taking aggressive. This whole time, I've just been like, no, I hate confrontation. I would confront this guy. Wow.

You have a limit, too, though. I don't think I do. You do because if they were asking, what happens when, let's say you do the lawnmower every week. Then it's also your rakes and shovels. Then it's also your weed whacker and your clippers. And none of that hurts me. Oh.

Yeah, but you would let them do that? Yes, like genuinely, maybe I'm just far more giving than all of you monsters. Yes, that is true. I'm just far more giving than all of you monsters. Yes, that is true. Here's, I found the other plan. You find something of theirs that you don't have and every time they ask to borrow your lawnmower, they're like, oh perfect timing because I needed the weed whacker so I'm just gonna go grab that real quick. I did think you could just buy them a lawnmower for Christmas and fix the whole darn problem. That's expensive! Well what you can do is tell them about a great sale.

You know what I mean? It's like, oh, did you? Just leave, every time there's a sale you're just leaving flyers all over the yard? I thought you meant you'd sell them your lawnmower. No, just text them, anytime you see a good sale on a lawnmower, hey, just want to let you know that I found this great deal. Constant coupon? Yes.

And eventually they will get the idea. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. All right, time to draft. The Spitballers Draft. Well today we are drafting the perfect pasta dish. And the way we're going to do it is you are, this is always fun when we do drafts like this, we're drafting one pasta, one sauce, one protein, and then one side to sit next to your dish. So a perfect little Italian meal and Jason is there. There's some gamesmanship here because you know what do you go with

with your first pick? Do you do you grab a premium protein? Do you grab the side that it will be the envy of everyone? Do you go with the preferred pasta? It's a tough one. The sauce. I mean it is. I've put you know tremendous amounts of thought into this yes as you always do this is not My wheelhouse I am not a I'm not a big pasta person not a lawnmower not a pasta person We're learning so much about me. Yes To the point of I I don't know we was like I feel like I'm on the spice draft But one thing I do know that I gotta have.

So we're building the perfect pasta dish. And I'm going right to the side. Oh no. I'm going right to the cheesy garlic bread, my man. Oh. Right there. Because what noodles? I don't care.

That's not. I'm getting the cheesy garlic bread. That's not a bad decision. I think that. Cheesy garlic that cheesy garlic bread owl don't just write garlic bread in here. Thank you. Um He to be fair you did say cheese. Yes, I did and he's like garlic I think there are a lot of posses that I am just fine if you randomly put one in front of me Whereas not having no see I would go regular garlic bread, not cheesy garlic bread. It's funny, I would too. Yeah.

Cheesy feels more American. Yeah. It can be, the proportions of cheese can be a problem on that. Oh, my friends, you are not eating the right cheesy garlic bread. Okay, Jason, you are on the clock. Mike has a side.

So, don't make a mistake. I've really toiled with this because one of my favorite Italian pasta dishes, it is absolutely one of my favorites. I could build it exactly how I want it. I don't think any of you would take the pasta, the sauce or the protein. So I could, I could just pass and I'd build the whole thing at the end okay but it's not the one I want I want some it's just one I like but yeah there's a lot clearly if we wouldn't draft it it's not common

place enough exactly so I'm gonna get any votes I'm gonna try for your nerd pasta I mean you've got yeah I, you've got some levels here that you need to avoid. All right. Mind you, what is happening for the record? For the record, we just bought Jason a pasta maker for his birthday. Yes, you did. And also, I need to borrow it. No problem. No problem, my friend. No problem. Doesn't bother me at all. All right. I'm going gonna go with

the Protein oh, okay, and I Want them meatballs? meatballs there, you know that They aren't as versatile, but they're just always great. You can go someplace and get bad everything else. I've never had a bad meatball in my life. Now, how do you guys prefer you get the meatballs? Do you want round?

No, but do you want like just the one or two big ones, or do you want six to eight smaller ones? Six to eight smaller ones, and not like small like Spaghetti. Oh, it's a meatballs but like normal when I go to the the the spaghetti factory and I get those like If people don't know that's a restaurant, it's the funniest thing you've ever you've ever said in your life I mean that is a restaurant here in Arizona, but I wish I hadn't told you here in Arizona, but I wish I hadn't told you because when Jason goes, you win the draft. Okay. If you're visiting the actual spaghetti factory, you have one.

I am a big spaghetti connoisseur. When I visit the restaurant like the spaghetti factory and I get those meatballs that are the size of my fist. I don't like that. I don't want to use a fork and knife on my meatball. And then when you cut it, you're usually ending up with a bite that's too big. I want to take the smaller ones and cut those in half. What? No. They're all a good time. I mean, that's not... You can slice a meatball any way you want. Please don't hear what I'm not saying. Still love those fist-sized meatballs. Just not as much as regular-sized meatballs. All right, well, I have the opportunity here

with the back-to-back picks to grab a sauce and a pasta at the same time that go together. And so I feel like my opportunity here is fettuccine pasta and Alfredo sauce. I've got to go fettuccine, pasta, and Alfredo sauce. I've gotta go fettuccine and Alfredo right here right now. Fettuccine. Mike. It's the thicker flat one?

Yep. Oh man, Mike is. It's the one you get whenever you order. Mike has never been to the fettuccine factory. No, I've not. I told you, I'm out of my breath here with the pastas. You got a whole Italian world you need to Let us let us take I mean you have to have seen a fettuccine alfredo. Yes, I've eaten it before I just didn't remember which noodle it was. Yeah, it's the thick flat. So I'll send it back to Jason. They're all the same

If I hate to bring it to you, they are Okay, there's a difference. There is a difference. Yeah. Oh is there? Yes there is. Yes there is. Do tell. Look shape. They'll tell you all about it down at the factory. I can tell you the shape can be very different for sauces. If you've got a spiraled noodle that will hold on to some cheese a lot better than a piece of spaghetti. Okay that's interesting. I mean I don't than a piece of spaghetti. Yeah. That's interesting. There. I mean, I don't want to give away that's about pretty much all there is. No, there's one more. There's one more,

which is I could put the fork right through the pin. Pick it up instead of stab it, which I love about pin. It's awesome. All right. Am I back? I understand it's a different texture in your mouth. Yeah, texture too, yeah. All right. Um, I, well this is great because I was worried if I went the route. You were worried?

If I went the route of meatballs, I need to have marinara. Like they don't, I can't go with Alfredo and meatballs no that would have been a we could have backed you into a bag and I was worried I would be backed into a bad corner so I'm going with marinara with the spaghetti sauce and meatballs the classic combination and uh I really hope that Mike screws you on protein Andy well I don't think my protein is gonna get stolen I really don't let's see what oh you're stinking up this place I'm not putting fish on my pasta okay all right

good all right must I have to so you've got the fettuccine Alfredo Jason based has spaghetti meatballs well he doesn't know yet he has marinara which means you could you could definitely I could yank that from him. I could. Let's see, so one of my picks has to be a protein. That's just the name of the game. So I will take the, let's go with the, I'm deciding if I want chicken or breaded chicken. I believe the protein selection

that you're looking for is the word chicken. Yeah. Okay. You don't have to be more narrow. We're not all able to drive chicken. Okay. I can't get lemony chicken. No. You get chicken.

I will take the chicken. It's a great pet. Fantastic. And you both have your sauce. What do I need, my noodle? Then I will take, I mean it's the only one I really know is a different one. I will take the angel hair pasta.

Okay. You know what? That was my backup to spaghetti. It's the natural backup to spaghetti. Yeah, because they both work. And actually, as I've grown up, I- I think I prefer angel hair now. I do too.

And I hated angel hair as a kid. I don't see why you- I don't know how you hate it. How do you hate it? This is disgusting. Give me the spaghetti. I mean, they're the same only one smaller. No it was like skim milk to 2%. It was like you felt like you were eating less

total pot. Yes. Like not. It was not bulky enough to stringy in my mouth. We're learning a whole. This draft is insane. The texture matters. But I will be, it's back to me, I will take spaghetti. I got spaghetti, meatball, marinara. I am classic American Italian food here. So I have the opportunity to take a side here. You should be able to close it out. I mean, clearly, I can take breadsticks, right? I mean, that's not garlic bread. Yeah, no, I'll allow it. I mean, those are different. That's fine with me. So I'll take breadsticks as my side.

It is very inferior to garlic bread. And then I'm going to take prosciutto. I'm going to take prosciutto as my protein. Oh, very interesting. I had no idea where you were going because to me, alfredo was only good with chicken and shrimp, and I knew you wouldn't go shrimp. Throw some prosciutto in there. On an alfredo?

Yeah, you could do it. Really chicken and shrimp, and I knew you wouldn't go shrimp. Throw some prosciutto in there. On an Alfredo? Yeah, you can do it. Really, with the salty meat? It's a good time. I love prosciutto. Oh, I love it.

But I'm saying clearly with Alfredo, Jason, with our sophisticated palates. Let me ask Andy a question real quick. You don't overwhelm the pasta with the prosciutto. You dribble it in from here to here and there. Sure. Let me ask a quick question. No you will not. Have you ever had prosciutto with Alfredo sauce? Yes. Okay. Yeah that's why I picked

it. You think I take prosciutto with all the other ones on the board for no reason? I picked it because it's good in this meal. I think you are a liar. I just haven't seen it. The spit wads will rise. Okay, all right, prosciutto and Alfredo. Unless, unless I don't know what prosciutto is. No, you described it. It's the salty thin meat. Yeah, it's like bacon.

We have a Rachael Ray recipe right here, a fettuccine Alfredo con prosciutto. Okay, well there you go, Rachael Ray. I got it because I've had it. Okay, it's, I mean. I'm not inventing things here, so you're getting meatballs Ray. I got it because I've had it. Okay. It's, I mean. I'm not inventing things here so you're getting meatballs. Here's the thing. Everything we're gonna draft here is delicious. There's literally no meat or pasta or sauce when you're going three total options that aren't going to be elite.

What's your side here? My side? This is what I was hoping got back to me the whole time. I mean this is what you guys got me for my birthday. Your side cannot be a glass of wine. It's a GLASS OF WINE! No, that's not a side, that is a beverage. That's the side I want. That is not a side. That is not a side. I'm very lenient in these dresses and I will not stand for your side being a beverage. Sustained. Oh no! I had one side on my list. Now I'm tilted there No, there isn't there is one more elite side. Oh my gosh, there are I Can't you elite side? Oh, there is let's message each other. Oh, okay This is a night. This is a nightmare you think so. I can't have a glass of red wine correct

You can you can but it's not in your draft Can we notate that I have that with this oh my gosh and and I assume this goes for white wine then as well and he can his pick. He's already got a side. You could come back to your side if you want. You mean me? Yes, I'm sorry, Mike. We need to go out of order because he can't think of a side? This is insanity. Oh, man.

All right. If I'm at the family and I'm at the Olive Garden, oh my gosh, and I want a side, then I would get gosh. And I'm on a side. Then I would get, can a soup count as a side? Of course. Of course, because it's a side. It's still a liquid, you wouldn't let me have my red wine. Do you drink it out of a bowl?

Do you? I will eat my red wine with a spoon. A bowl of red wine is what I would like to have as my side. Is that allowed? A bowl with a spoon and red wine. Because I will draft that if I am allowed. Uh, no. Alright, then I will take Zupa Toscana. Yeah, that's the- we were messaging. I was like, what is the soup? What's the- alright, that's fine. Not the first time you've drafted Zupa Toscana on the Spitballers.

Also red wine would have been the second draft in a row I draft. It was Caesar salad. The Caesar salad with pastas. Yeah, I thought it Italian. Italian salad. Here's the absolute truth. I would personally not agree that a soup or a salad is a side. That is an appetizer.

They usually bring those first. It's a course. You don't get, they don't bring me my pasta and my soup together ever. What do they do with the side salad? What do you call that? If you order a side salad, that's usually completely different. It's super tiny. Is it a salad? Yeah, sure. But I mean, if I'm- That one's pretty good then. So then they don't bring you your, there's no wine allowed until the meal comes out. Well, my third glass comes with the meal, Mike.

So, okay, I apologize. I won't min it. Third glass of red wine. Because that's a side. In a bowl with a spoon. Also your birthday present. So you got Alfredo and marinara and I happen to know of one more sauce.

Nice. So we're vodka sauce. Yeah. Ooh, Pennella vodka. Yeahinala vodka. Yeah. No, I went angel hair. Yeah. You're dumping some vodka sauce all over this chicken with angel hair. I mean, it's... Which is fine. It all works together. This is a real Taco Bell situation. I don't even know. What's the difference between a vodka sauce and a marinara sauce? They're both reds, right? Vodka sauce is like a pinker.

It's like an orangey, yeah. Oh, even better. Yeah, what do you? I mean, the other one's bolognese sauce would be another one. I like a- I thought that had meat in it. Or a meat sauce.

I like a garlic butter sauce. That's- I did have butter written down. That's elite. My meal that I wanted was angel hair Butter garlic sauce and shrimp. That's Mike Mike could have like abandoned the Sophisticated Italian and gone straight to macaroni and cheese comp comp. Oh my goodness. Why didn't you go mac and cheese? Because I had cheesy garlic bread. I don't know. I just I didn't go with it. That's what I'll order over this

Yeah, probably. And what is it when you mix marinara and alfredo? Disgusting? No. I think that's just a... But when I was looking it up, they were saying they just call it pink sauce, and the name, to say pink sauce sounds disgusting. I think I've only ever seen that for dipping breadsticks.

I've had pasta with it, and it's very good. Sounds made up. It's two delicious things, it's probably OK. Sounds made up. Ask the factory when you get down there. I will ask the factory. The two main sauces, you're like, well, we just mix them. You're like, no, no, we can't possibly do that.

Well, I mean, ketchup and mustard, you put them together? Yeah. What is that called? That's ketchup, but. No, no, no, no, all right right, but but but ketchup is its own product these are both sauces I don't think the math checks out do anybody associate ketchup and mustard together. No, so All right

That is Jeannie Alfredo with breadsticks and some prosciutto on top Jason needs to try it apparently Jason has some any meatballs with marinara and a side of soup, soup of discana. And Mike has some angel hair pasta with vodka sauce with some chicken. Did he not write down soup of discana? No he did. He spelled it as best he could.

Yeah, all I can see is they call it pink pasta or pink sauce. Okay. What did we learn today? Yeah, all I can see is they call it pink pasta or pink sauce Okay What did we learn today? It's called pink pasta or pink sauce when you mix Alfredo and Marinara I learned that for a 35% raise we could have a full-time show for 24-7 man, that's true. And I I learned that Mike knew a lot less about Italian food than I thought he did I feel like we taught somebody you did To be happy today. It's it's good. It's not my preferred. Okay. Well, you know

You've aged out to me. Yes, I've aged out of Italian food. Thank you so much for listening everybody. We'll see you next time. Goodbye Thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast to see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.