Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Big David & The Best Space Movies - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

Spit Hit for March 16th, 2023: On this episode of the Spitballers, we discuss menu reading superpowers, selfish monster parents, and the classic game of snore & seek. As always, we also tackle so...me of life’s toughest questions. We countdown to the end of the episode with a draft of the best space movies. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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Starting point is 00:01:20 Spit wides on this episode of the show. This beautiful, wonderful, spectacular, almost difficult to look at because of its beauty, spit hit episode. We discuss menu reading superpowers, selfish monster parents, and well, a lot more. I'm not going to spoil the whole show for you, but we tackle some of life's toughest questions. Enjoy every minute of today's Spit Hit. What happens when three buffoons give life advice,
Starting point is 00:01:56 explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Welcome in, everybody. What happened? What happened? Yes. Was?
Starting point is 00:02:22 What happened? Oh, baby. He's back. He's back. What happened was... What happened? Oh, baby. He's back. He's back. What happened? So, as we started, I had one thought. It was very small. It was about zippers.
Starting point is 00:02:36 As my thoughts usually are. We've got a space-themed draft. Uh-huh. Zip just seemed... You know, just like... I i don't know is that the sound of moving through space i believe it is that is my understanding as you zip through space it was kind of muffled it was soft it went too long yeah so i started there baby and then i didn't know where to go from there i got lost in a wormhole. Welcome in. I can't wait for someone to just be like,
Starting point is 00:03:05 bit it, that. Oh, and just end it? Early. It just stopped. Zippity boop. That's all I got for you. Well, that's one of the exciting things about the Spitballers podcast. You never know how it's going to start. I closed my eyes. It was sultry.
Starting point is 00:03:22 I bent the ear towards my co-host Jason and I absorbed and brought in all of that. You're welcome. Would you rather? That's a great question. And a Best Space Movies draft on today's show. It's going to be a great one. You can find us on
Starting point is 00:03:37 Twitter at SpitballersPod. SpitballersPod.com is the website. I gave you a 3 out of 10. 3 out of 10. Yeah, well. Not very good. I gave me a 4. Instagram.com slash spitballerspod. Thank you for reviewing the show. Thank you for well, he's grading himself.
Starting point is 00:03:53 I know. And he only gave himself a 4 and he likes to cheat. It's still a failing grade, but it's better than what you gave me. We appreciate everybody supporting the show at jointhespit.com and everybody that's reviewed it on Apple Podcasts, subscribed over there, which they now call following.
Starting point is 00:04:11 So you've got to follow on Apple Podcasts. And those reviews, we read every single one of them that come through, and we really appreciate it when you tell your friends and family about the show. Honestly, and I'm sure Al can echo this, there is nothing cooler than when you find out a family has been posing would you rather questions from the show or doing the draft with us or playing along from home because that is awesome absolutely all right let's get it going Would you rather? I would.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Kirby from Patreon. Some more what? This, the year. All right, here's the first question. The year is 3021. Oh, my. A little ways away. And random people are chosen for Coliseum-style entertainment.
Starting point is 00:05:03 The game, it's hide-and-seek. The catch? Of course. The catch is the winner gets the best life ever, but the loser gets, well, they get axed. So we've gone forward 1,000 years. But we've gone backwards. And we've gone backwards in entertainment.
Starting point is 00:05:18 We all know that's inevitable. That's where we're headed, yeah. We know. So you're getting rewarded with a great life, or you're getting axed. Would you rather be the hider or the seeker in a coliseum? Well, I mean, is that to be considered? Isn't the real question, like, would you be a better hider or a better seeker? Well, you've got to pick.
Starting point is 00:05:38 I mean, because if you're in a coliseum, I mean, your options seem limited on hiding. So I'd rather be the seeker in an open field. I would imagine there's a time limit and there's obstacles and things that you can think of like a really big laser quest maze. To me, it was you're in the Coliseum and the Coliseum is all in bounds. Fair game. Oh, like the whole concourse and all of the bathrooms. It's not just the dirt field, because if it's just the lower dirt bowl, I will take the seeker, please, and I will win 100 out of 100.
Starting point is 00:06:10 The problem is if it's the entire Coliseum and there's a time limit, I'm going to choose the hider in that situation. Well, what if the time limit is like one week? You have to be able to hide from this person for an entire week. That's a long time. That's a very long time. You better pack a sandwich because you're going to get hungry hiding up in them air ducts.
Starting point is 00:06:30 You can't move, right? Once you choose your spot, your spot's your spot. I don't know. I think that's got to be a fair rule here. Because it's not Hunger Games. You're not being hunted. You're hiding. Right.
Starting point is 00:06:40 But in a regular game of hide and seek, you can move. Yeah, but in this game, you can't. Wait, you can move in a regular game of hide andand-seek, you can move. Yeah, but in this game, you can't. Wait, you can move in a regular game of hide-and-seek? That's my understanding of the rules. In theory, you could shift around a little bit. I feel like that's Bush League, man. If I'm being honest about hide-and-seek. You never did that?
Starting point is 00:06:54 Oh, I did that. I absolutely did that, but I knew I was cheating because I was like, oh, they've already been in that room. They're not going to check there again. And when I watch them walk across the hallway, I sneak back into that room. That's part of the game. And then I into that room. That's part of the game. And then I win the game. That's part of the game.
Starting point is 00:07:06 The best in hide-and-seek was when you would just start the game very close to the seeker. That's a key. Yeah, if you're listening and you're still hide-and-seeking a lot, that is a pro tip. You hide behind the seeker and then just follow them. I have an official rule. The seeker must close their eyes and often is required to face a wall away from the players. When the seeker counts, the players look for hiding places, and once they are positioned, they cannot move. What?
Starting point is 00:07:34 That makes sense. If you're a good hider, you've found a spot they can't find. That's the point. It's not called hide and move, seek. Or pretend you're their shadow. It's called hide and seek. You just find a spot to hide. All right, so let's kind of bring it back a little bit
Starting point is 00:07:49 so we can answer the question. Would you rather, if you had a whole coliseum, yeah, I mean, the week timeline is strange. It's too far. If it was one day. One day. One day in an entire, but the whole coliseum. But you're stuck in the spot you find.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Yes, the whole Coliseum. This is where my weight becomes a problem. I'm going to be the seeker. I want to be the hider, but I don't know that the air ducts can hold me. There's no air ducts in the Coliseum. This is 3021, man. I mean, there's. Oh, it's a Coliseum style.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Okay. I'm sure they've got this thing air conditioned. But just to be clear, you're not concerned about your physical size as much as you are the weight of something holding you. Well, both are a problem with the size. You know, you'd go like, oh, I'm going to hide around that curtain. It's like that curtain's got a big bump. That curtain is sticking way up from the wall.
Starting point is 00:08:43 The curtain's with child. Yeah. But then there's also like, you you know the size is an issue for let's let's really focus on the air ducts here because why well that's the that's the first place andy's gonna look that's the primo hiding spot and i get a little hot when i you know so this is like great for me because this cools me down. But now I've got a size shape issue, fitting a rectangle into a square type of problem. Mike and I aren't just slipping into air ducts all the time. I mean, this is generally an area that's hard to get into.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Yeah, and then of course. Unless you're Bruce Willis. Right. He made it look so easy. He did, but also the first move as the seeker is I'm cranking the heat up. Oh, smoking them out? Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:09:30 I think I want to be the hider, though, because that's a lot of movement. If you're the seeker and you've got to just be – I mean, you know you're not just casually walking. You might die. You're running everywhere for a whole day. You wouldn't want to be running. Well, jogging, like a hustle. Yeah, hustle.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Yeah. And I would much rather just lay down somewhere. My problem with being the seeker is I can't find anything. Yeah, me too. If you told me I had to find you you the second that my goal is you finding you we disappear you could just stand on the wall and i would be looking everywhere is there something i would shout i can't i give up i can't find you it's impossible 30 seconds in i quit take my life is there something about the male brain that makes us like that? Well, I know it must be for all three of us because I completely agree with you.
Starting point is 00:10:27 My wife ridicules me for my lack of common observance. Scientifically speaking, I have heard this. I'm not a scientist, so I cannot confirm nor deny. But I've heard this rumor scientifically speaking. Go on. But I'm saying, like, it goes back to brain science of go way, way, way, way, way back when we are, you know, cave people. And the roles of survival were the strong males would go hunt. And then you would hunt or gather, right?
Starting point is 00:11:01 And then you, so the female brain, as I understand it, is like... That's why they can see color more... They can differentiate color much better than us. Just the natural selection of them being able... Because they weren't hunters? No, because their job of gathering, you had to go out and be able to see what was not poisonous. Meanwhile... We weren't gathering.
Starting point is 00:11:24 We were just trying to find a gigantic buffalo running across a field. So the human, the eye or the male eye, I'm sorry, is more trained for movement. So you need the ketchup bottle to move. So we're Tyrannosaurus Rexus. Yes. And it's maybe just as this is fulfilling the prophecy of me hearing that, but like my ability to quickly glance at the ground and see if there are ants anywhere in my vicinity moving around,
Starting point is 00:11:55 I can knock that out in a split second. I will, I identified immediately. So what if something is not moving? It is, it might as well just be invisible because I cannot see. So wait for Jason to start getting a little squeamish and he'll start moving. I can sit
Starting point is 00:12:10 still forever, guys. Really? I'm pretty good at laying down and doing nothing. He can sleep still. Well, now that's actually the big issue. If I fall asleep, I am out. You know, you just follow the snore and I lose. That's going to be the hard part.
Starting point is 00:12:24 If you are the seeker, you just kick your snore, and I lose. That's going to be the hard part. Just wait for him not to fall asleep. If you are the seeker, you just kick your feet back, read a book. You're like, you're not staying awake for 24 hours when you can't move. And you just wait, and then you're like, I hear him. He's sleeping over in the third row. If you're the hider, the terror of being found is the worst thing that could happen here. Because if you're discovered, you're going to lose and die. That's a 24-hour panic attack.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Now, the other one is like, okay, you don't find him, you don't find him, you don't find him. But being found is terror. Yeah, that is. At any moment, you could be found, which means you die. I feel like I would be the seeker. And as soon as it starts, I'm going to be like, I'm going to check outside real quick. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Let me see if they're outside, and then I'm out of here, and then I just run away.
Starting point is 00:13:12 Oh, I thought you were trying to draw. He's trying to abandon the game. Yes, sir. I would like to not die. It's 30-21, so he gets shot by lasers. There's no way they would catch you. Jess from Twitter, would you rather have the ability to, at will, switch your eyes to a clear 10 times optical zoom
Starting point is 00:13:30 or third person bird's eye view? Oh. Both would be very cool. Oh. One is so much better. One seems more practical. Yeah, the 10 times zoom is awesome. I mean, oh, what is is this a low light restaurant menu
Starting point is 00:13:49 no problem i can see the ink on the printing that's right i can read this menu that's the first place that's the first thing that came to your restaurant the first thing was your thought of your decrepit eyes that you can't read a menu? Well, if the light is low, Mike, it's really hard. I don't want to bring my phone out and have the flashlight on and look like that guy. I just want to blink once and be like, look at these giant words in my brain. Jason is famous for one specific thing.
Starting point is 00:14:19 I've worked with him for 20 years, it feels like. It's got to be close to that for real. It's close to that, right? Actually, it's probably been 20 years, it feels like. It's got to be close to that for real. It's actually close to that, right? Actually, it's probably been 20 years. Almost. Goodness gracious. And we're talking about going back to web design. I used to work for him.
Starting point is 00:14:33 I hired him when he was like 14. Slave labor. And he paid me like I was 12. But from the very beginning. Here's your nickel. Is everything I designed on the web, Jason wants five font sizes bigger. That's right.
Starting point is 00:14:47 So he's been hitting the command plus on his computer as if he had 10 times optical zoom for the longest amount of time. Oh, no. This is how my laptop just is. What? My laptop is just always zoomed in. And for those of you at home. Yeah, you go to YouTube.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Why don't you guys turn yours around, show the comparison here. That's grandpa mode. This is just, well, you're going to have to. You got to take your screen protector off because you got to protect from. So that's one way. That's called the stupid way. If you're on YouTube, you could see the stupid way. Or.
Starting point is 00:15:21 To be clear, Jason is the guy with that phone made for 80-year-olds with the numbers the size of your hand. I just like – And it's always come down to – Just admit you can't see. I can't see very well, guys. Get better glass. Get some –
Starting point is 00:15:37 Mike, Mike, Mike, imagine my position designing for the common man, and here's my boss constantly telling me it's not big enough i am the common man you believe that you're the only man that exists well i'm the you know i i think you build for the lowest common denominator that's me do you or do you not yet have bifocals i have progressives do you really i do you have not really i do this is the first time this is like this is like happened two months ago i don't speak uh grandfather right so so what is it explain that to me and the listener at home so my gosh we're old i i don't know that this is 100 exactly right and it's me it's mine uh-huh i think what it is is that the lens, my glasses, that if I look lower, that it gets a little stronger up close.
Starting point is 00:16:32 So if I'm reading- Like a bifocal. Kind of like a bifocal, but instead of having one little section, it's much more new age. It's progressive instead of a solid visible line across the glasses. I don't want to have a visible line. But they are bifocal. Yeah. So you're progressive.
Starting point is 00:16:48 You're wearing B. Franklin's progressives. I would never have a bifocal until I really need them. But you but you're wearing bifocal and you're zoomed to level 50. Yeah. Also, my brightness was not up nearly enough. No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:04 We've spent some time on this. So you've never known this? Well, yeah, I didn't. I know he zoomed in. He's super zoom over there. But I didn't know he wore bifocals. Yes, they are to be called. Progressives.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Progressives. But you're dual depths. You haven't even considered what being able to see in a third-eye bird's view would do. No one's sneaking up on you. I don't want to see my bald spot, Mike. Come on. One of these things is awesome, but one of these things is, oh, crap. I'm in third-person view again.
Starting point is 00:17:39 I mean, I would have to shave my head. Look, I'm falling apart physically. This show is ripping you apart. That's what I look like from my head. Look, I'm falling apart physically. This show is ripping you apart. That's what I look like from the back. Yeah, I don't want me in the picture, okay? Got to get it together first. I can't figure the other than not being snuck up on within a small area. I can't think of the practical need for like paintball.
Starting point is 00:18:03 The car hide and seek. The car has the, uh, they can give you the third person view. That's very useful. But as a person walking backwards, you need to like walk backwards without looking and be like, let me go take in the zoom.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Final answer. I mean, like just finding things. I think there's, there's gotta be other finding things. If they're on my back. How would finding things be easier in third person? Because you don't have to turn around.
Starting point is 00:18:32 I guess he's saying you can't see the whole room at once, which you can't do within your normal eyes. Yeah, we're not birds, Jason. I could see the whole room at once. But I'll take the Zoom. Also, if there is a listener out there that can fix my eyes let me know uh yeah that's not how it works yeah well they yeah they can sort of i try to get lasik my whatever's in the front of my eyes too small i'm just a whatever is in the front of you
Starting point is 00:18:58 i don't know what it's i don't know if that's the cornea or if that's the something else my eye my front eye part is did the doctor describe it as that they said the front eye i'm sorry jason your front eye part is too small storm from patreon would you rather only be able to take full one hour showers for the rest of your life okay sounds good or only be able to take strict one minute showers okay sounds bad so i'm out yeah but are you considering the time applications here like you got to get ready for work there's 50 minutes until work and you're going to be late i'm not sure i'm not sure how it happened but somehow this became the jason moore
Starting point is 00:19:38 hour this is ridiculous there's two other people on this show but having said that jason yes what is we you are you are legendary for your uh water wasting right for your uh uh despising of the earth my decadence you're yes that's a good word it is a good word uh It is a good word. Thank you. Lavish. So you take a long shower. Yes. What is the shortest shower? Let's say you're going for just trying to do all the things that you actually have to do that aren't just stand in the shower or sit. I don't know what's going on in there.
Starting point is 00:20:19 But what's that length of time? Six, seven minutes, I'm guessing. I mean, every time we pickleball and i come here and shower i'm i'm in and out pretty quick that's that's my quick shower is six seven minutes i don't think you can shower in a minute i think you can rinse off i've done a minute shower yeah but every single shower if every single one of your showers is a minute you stink you just you gotta know you gotta go you gotta you're prepared yeah you're prepared and you do you do hair and body at the same moment it's all together you just squirt a bunch of shampoo on your head and that's your
Starting point is 00:20:52 soap no it's it well yeah you could do that but you i'm saying you could i can put the soap in my hand before i turn the water on oh so it's just the what the so there's a timer and the water shuts off you turn it on and 60 seconds later, it turns off. As long as it's the perfect temperature right when you turn it on. That's not counting against my minute. Yeah, that's not fair. I do have an important question. That's not fair at all.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Do you wear your bifocals in the shower? Only when I'm... Well, I will say this. I will say this. Important answer. Some objects are tough to see. It sucks when we get a shampoo and conditioner bottle that are like the same color the same everything one just says shampoo one says conditioner i'm like i have no
Starting point is 00:21:32 i'm sitting there literally holding this up like like what is this you don't wear them in the shower no i don't wear them in the shower they would fog up i have but you wear your watch in the shower of course i i used that's just Of course. You can't see it though. Why is that weird? If I wear my watch in the shower, it's just because I don't need to take it off. Before I had LASIK, I had glasses for 20 years. I never didn't wear them in the shower. 100% of the time. I swam in the pool with them too. What a weirdo. I'm not the weirdo here.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I'm the weirdo because I want to see. You're the weirdo. You're sitting here holding up a shampoo bottle an inch from your eyes. I mean, what do you do when you're washing your hair? The water washes off of your glasses. I'm talking about like moving your...
Starting point is 00:22:20 I feel like I'm washing my hair. Do me a favor. Since we're really informing one another's lives here with our routines, next time for one week, shower with your glasses. It will do nothing to your glasses to hurt them. I will take a selfie of just
Starting point is 00:22:39 the face because they're going to be so fogged up that I'm going to be wearing blindfolds in the shower. They will not be fogged at all. All right. All right. We'll see. That's a promise, right?
Starting point is 00:22:50 That is a owl you're going to need to remind me when this episode releases to try that out. Hey, next time you're blind in the shower, you'll remember. Okay, that's fair. So tomorrow. Yeah. All right, let's move on. What's up, Spitwads? Do you know how much you are spending in subscriptions?
Starting point is 00:23:11 This is a question that didn't used to be hard to answer, but now most Americans think that they spend around $80 a month and the actual total is closer to $200 because why? Everything is a subscription nowadays. And if you don't know how much you're spending, you need to get Rocket Money. Trust me on this. Been a big fan of this company since well before they were a sponsor, formerly known as Truebill. It's a personal finance app. It finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, helps you lower your bills all in
Starting point is 00:23:40 one place. Like I said, 80% of people have subscriptions they have forgotten about, including yours. Truly, I got the Rocket Money app. It made life easy. I found a duplicate subscription. That's what I discovered and was able to cancel it. And they even have a team that helps you cancel it. So stop throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions, and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash ballers. That's rocketmoney.com slash ballers, rocketmoney.com slash ballers. That's rocketmoney.com slash ballers, rocketmoney.com slash ballers. That's a great question. Things only fog when water's not hitting them. Like the mirrors in your bathroom fog up because water's not constantly spraying on them.
Starting point is 00:24:26 But if you're in the shower with your glasses, the water is constantly hitting you in the face and in the glasses. So you're saying that it is easy to see out of your glasses when there's water hitting it. Yes, yes. Okay. I'm trying to help you have a better life. What about washing your face?
Starting point is 00:24:43 If you would like to remove them at that point, that's fine. I would like to remove them at that point. I consider all the water hitting my face the washing of my face. I don't generally exfoliate in the shower. Well, you should try it. Look like you at the end? Nice sugar scrub. Alright, that's a great question, Alex from the website.
Starting point is 00:24:59 If you had to pick one hour of the day to be your favorite, which would it be? Ooh, I like this question. Yeah, I've never thought about that. That is a great question. I do know my favorite time of day is sunset. Okay. I don't know. Like four to five, five to six?
Starting point is 00:25:18 Well, it depends on where the earth is in location to the sun. But yeah, like just when the sun's going down, the sky is coloring up. I don't know. There's just, there's a magical time there. The day's not over, but it's just kind of like, it's dusk. Yes. And like the heat is going away, but it reminds me of being a kid
Starting point is 00:25:42 and like swimming in a pool. Yeah. No, I get it. My parents used to take walks at that time of the day and drag us along, but I remember that. That's a nice time. I think that would be my time. Really?
Starting point is 00:25:53 You're not going like 5 a.m.? Right in the morning? No. Which is great. Not a joke or a jab. I thought you were going to go like that 5, 6 o'clock in the morning, that time when you get your work done, you get your coffee. coffee golden sun the most caffeinated time of the day is right around there but no i think the best time of the day is the limelight wait is that a is that what where that
Starting point is 00:26:16 word comes from yeah oh man now i'm gonna be stupid that's right i honestly don't know um i i would love to learn i think i going to go from 11 to midnight. I'm more of a night. You're going to go from 11 to midnight? I probably used the word completely wrong. I thought limelight. Wait, is limelight like an entertainment thing? Yeah, that's like when you're the focus, you're in the limelight,
Starting point is 00:26:35 and that's a light on a stage. That's not what I meant. Well, you're in like the- I think I meant just like the dusk, the- The limelight of the sun? What's another word for dusk? Thesaurus? Twilight. Ah. dusk the uh limelight of the sun what's another word for dusk twilight ah that's the word i was looking for not limelight okay it's a light yeah uh there will be no light during my magic hour of the day because i i was struggling between 10 to 11 or 11 to 12 i think i'm gonna go there's a big difference for you there is because sometimes i get sleepy
Starting point is 00:27:05 around midnight and i don't think i want to be sleepy during this so maybe i'm gonna shift i'm gonna go 10 to 11 okay because i get much more done usually at night than in the morning what are you on a on a average day what are you doing well on an average day i'm probably at that point if it's been you know a work day we'll get home kids dinner tuck in bedtime homework all that jazz I'm putting on tv 10 to 11 that's my usual on a not average day what are you doing well like if I've got work to do you know we we run a business here whenever I've got a lot of um you know spreadsheet work or or even if I've got... Concentration work.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Yeah, concentration focus work. That's when, in those hours, I can get a lot more done. Okay. My brain just works better later than it does earlier. We were just talking about this because we were working on, you know, some of the stuff for footballers together. I was like, oh, should we, like, get in early tomorrow morning and really knock some of this out?
Starting point is 00:28:01 together. I was like, oh, should we get in early tomorrow morning and really knock some of this out? And it's because for me, that exact focus time is 5 to 7 in the morning. And for him, it's 10 to midnight. Yeah. I told him I'll work on this late tonight. He's like, yeah, I got it tonight. Not the morning person.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Yeah. So, okay. So we answered that one, right? Yeah. I think so. Sergio from Patreon says, if all statues on Earth came to life and became hostile, which one would be the deadliest or scariest and the most difficult to destroy? David. No.
Starting point is 00:28:33 I mean, that would be a problem. Sheer size. Okay. Yeah. He's just, he's, because he's humanoid, right? Is that a big statue? Yeah, I think so. How big is David? Let me find out for you. Because he's humanoid, right? Is that a big statue? Yeah, I think so. How big is David?
Starting point is 00:28:47 Let me find out for you. Let me find out for you. 17 feet. How tall is David? 17 feet tall by 6.5 feet wide? Yes. So the Statue of Liberty could kick David's butt. Oh, I didn't think about the Statue of Liberty could kick David's butt. Oh, I didn't think about the Statue of Liberty.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Yeah. Oh, man. All I was thinking was I was just thinking about a human being who is massive. Wait, does David, does he not have an arm? No, he's got an arm. He's got an arm. Venus de Milo is the one that has the arm. Yes, he does.
Starting point is 00:29:32 What about the... Oh, man. He's very in shape. There's a Statue of Unity in India that's the largest, and there's three bigger than Statue of Liberty. Wait, what? Yeah, there's three bigger humanoids. The motherland calls in Russia has a sword.
Starting point is 00:29:48 That seems like the most dangerous one. What? Now, what about the Mount Rushmore? They're not very mobile, even if they come to life. What, are they going to roll at you? No, but what are you going to do to that? I mean, they just eat you as you try to get near them. They eat you?
Starting point is 00:30:03 They can't catch you. What about the Sphinx? No nose. mean, he'll just eat you as you try to get near him. They eat you? But they can't catch you. What about the Sphinx? No nose. Oh, dude, what are we talking about? Abe Lincoln. Oh. I mean, he's a scrappy, lanky fighter. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:14 He was a wrestler for real? Yes. For the Washington, D.C. one? Yeah, exactly. He'd get up out that chair, and now he'd have a giant chair he could swing around like a wrestler. Oh. He'd get up out that chair, and now he'd have a giant chair he could swing around like a wrestler. Abe Lincoln's statue is, if he was standing, which they've figured out, he would be 28 feet tall. Oh, he'd just be David. Yeah, and he'd be wearing clothes, so there'd be that.
Starting point is 00:30:38 That would be helpful. We're moving on. Rhonda from the website, In the book about your life, what is the name of the chapter you are currently in? What is the name of the previous chapter? That I'm in right now? Yeah, what's the name of the chapter you're in right now, and what's the name of the previous chapter?
Starting point is 00:31:01 I want to know what the next chapter is going to be called. That's not the question, Jason. No, I'm just following up and saying that's what I'm curious about. Okay. Yeah, the previous chapter would be called Sleepless in Parentville. Okay. How long is a chapter of your life? That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:31:18 That is. I think that needs to be defined. Five years? It's funny because when I look at- I guess that wouldn't be the yeah when i when i think about like the chapters of my life if i were to just say how long are you gonna live then i'll answer that question if i was just gonna say like you know think about and section up the different chapters in my life they're probably way bigger than five years you know what i mean
Starting point is 00:31:38 like we've been doing this business for six seven years have i mentioned i run a business and then and then before that we work together for like eight years i feel like for six, seven years. Have I mentioned I run a business yet? Yes, seriously. And then before that, we worked together for like eight years. In a business. I'm an entrepreneur. Okay, my apologies for describing my life on the question of my life,
Starting point is 00:31:57 but those are like completely different chapters. And so if you were to say five years, every five years, I don't know that that's a new, like are things that different? Well, I mean, it'd be like a year if you were to say five years every five years i don't know that that's a new like are things that different well i mean it'd be like a year when you were as a kid through about 18 a chapter feels like it'd be every two years that's fair because you got getting a job getting your driver's license graduating from high school getting a girlfriend you know whatever the case may be so the chapters just get longer the chapters get longer the older you get it's like
Starting point is 00:32:24 the harry potter books they're really short at first and then the last books are huge do they get shorter at the end do the chapters get smaller and smaller like like a bell curve type of a thing right exactly yeah maybe you know like that's when it's like these are this was the dentures chapter right the bifocal chapter is that the one you're in right now yeah progressive there i'm not quite to bifocals yet that's that's what the name of my next chapter is mike what's that my next chapter is going to be called uh my new business i feel like um so i i was going to say the beginning of our run as the footballers would probably be the chapter, but I feel like there's at least – The one you're in now?
Starting point is 00:33:10 Yeah. So we're still at the beginning. Nice. No, because I think we're in the second chapter of it. Of that? Yeah. So the previous chapter, so the beginning of the podcast and all that stuff, I think you could title that –
Starting point is 00:33:24 Because that's like job transition. Yeah, but it's – so we're making the podcast and all that stuff. I think you could title that. Cause that's like job transition. Yeah. But, but it's, it's, so we're, we're making the podcast now and people are like, but what do you do for a living?
Starting point is 00:33:33 Okay. I think that's the name of my chapter. What do you do for a living? No, it's, but what do you do for a living? How do you make money? I feel like,
Starting point is 00:33:41 you know, popular, you know, sometimes you, you come up with, like, popular phrases or famous quotes or something that can be a chapter title. I'm going to go with my last chapter title, the beginning of the footballers. No, I'm going to go with Young, Scrappy, and Hungry as the previous.
Starting point is 00:34:00 That's a good title. And now it's Old, Fed, and Full. and full old fed and full is the current chapter. Okay. You're not just fed. You're full. That's right. All right. Will from Twitter.
Starting point is 00:34:13 What is the difference between a house a home and a mansion. Is it features. Is it size. Is it both. Help. And we are. This is one of our strengths. We know the difference between things.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Yeah. I mean well a home doesn't have a staff, you know? Well, a mansion doesn't have to have a staff. You can have a mansion without a staff? 100%. You can. Yeah. You can.
Starting point is 00:34:32 But you know what you can't have a home without? A heart. A heart. That's true. Okay. So a home, unless your heart, in which metaphorically- You mean a physical heart? It could be physical as well.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Once someone's heart resides in that house. But what does that mean? Like that means your heart's in a box somewhere in this house. Oh. So you have to literally have it outside of your body? Or somebody else's heart. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:34:59 That's easier. See, I don't think this is the real difference. What do you think the real difference is? I mean, I think the generic answer is that the home is a place that's of warmth. You know how people move into a new place and then they go, it just doesn't feel like home yet. What makes it feel like home is it time. But they say you can never go home.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Is that a thing? Yeah. You can never go home? That that a thing? Yeah. You can never go home? That's what they say to prisoners. Right. On death row. Sorry, sir. But remember.
Starting point is 00:35:32 That's an actual saying. You can never go home. You can never go home, which is implying of like you grow up, you have all these nostalgic feelings tied to the place
Starting point is 00:35:41 where you grew up and once you leave and you come back, it's the same place, but it's not. I feel like this is really all about love, right? A house is where you live that you don't like. A home is where you move in that you love, and a mansion is when you move in and everyone else hates you.
Starting point is 00:36:00 This is all about love, love and hate. That's my barometer. Now, I know, Mike, your parents still live in the house you grew up in. Yes. Now, Jason, your parents don't live in the house you grew up in. No, we moved around a lot. Always around the same area.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Not like around the country or globe, but we had several homes growing up. So if I said, what's your childhood home, would you even have one? Oh, yeah. For sure, without a doubt. And, Mike, when you go back to your parents' house, does that home nostalgia take over? Do you ever have like a – like what is your room? What is your childhood room now?
Starting point is 00:36:35 It's now my father's gym. Oh, okay. They have – no, it's straight because they've been there for, you know – That's a long time. Like 30 years or so. We moved into that home when I was in first grade. And I'm nearly 40 now, so whatever the math is, it's got to be at least 30 years. And they have since, you know, upgraded things.
Starting point is 00:36:57 And they decide, this is my parents. Once both me and my sister have moved out of the home, they're like, you know what we should do? Let's redo the backyard. Let's put a pool in. Let's make it amazing. And I'm like, what are you doing? You didn't have that pool growing up?
Starting point is 00:37:12 No, I did not have that pool when I was growing up. For your whole childhood you had no pool? They made it for themselves? They're selfish. Oh, man. Selfish monsters. MC nesting pool. How long until they converted both of your rooms
Starting point is 00:37:26 to something useful for themselves? Like don't come back. After I called them selfish monsters, I did have to move back in with my parents. Got to use that pool. And the pool was there. I tricked them good. I'm out of here.
Starting point is 00:37:42 But when I moved back in, then I was in the sewing room. because my room had already been overtaken. Oh, really? So they did not wait around. So the answer to when did my room get converted was very rapidly. As he was packing, they had the tape measure out. They were measuring for furniture. I moved out for three hours.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Already had a pool table in there. All right. I think we nailed that one. Can you, well, can a mansion ever become a home? Yes, certainly. But you have to have a second story. Do you have to be raised in it? No.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Okay. No. All right. But second story. That's my, you have to have a second story. For a mansion? Yeah. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:38:26 That's my rule. And at least eight visible windows from the front. Oh, eight? Yes. Okay. At least. But you don't need a staff? No.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Brooks, do you have a staff at your mansion? Yes. Okay. You do need a staff. But he's in a castle, to be fair. He's more of a castle. All right. It do need a staff. But he's in a castle, to be fair. He's more of a castle. All right. It's time to draft.
Starting point is 00:38:53 The Spitballers Draft. All right. Well, we are drafting the best space movies. There are a lot of them. And Jason gets the very first pick. Lucky you. Now, I know that Jason is in a bit of a position here. He has the very first pick in the draft.
Starting point is 00:39:19 I know that his heart is in war. Yeah. Because he could win the draft. He thinks there are picks that may come more. You have a pick that's so strong, you think you can win with it? Well, there are picks that are more pole heavy. Yeah, so here's the reality for me.
Starting point is 00:39:33 And then there's being integrity. I love space movies. I really, really love sci-fi. Sci-fi action space movies, that's my jam. When I'm allowed to just watch a movie by myself that's what I'm always looking for first that's my go-to that's my primary um so there's a lot of things I love but I think a lot of the movies that I love are going to be more me specific I know there's one Mike we already talked about it that I I'm doubting it comes back to me it's excellent but there's a lot of those type of movies so i feel like to play the game here i need to go with
Starting point is 00:40:10 another movie that i do love that would never ever get back to me and it is also a great poll winner because i'm taking star wars this is space movies um which one yeah i knew you guys there are a lot of there there are um i assume we're not going to be able to draft multiple Star Wars movies, right? You can feel free. Well, you can feel free. I'm grabbing one. Oh, I can? I'll take all of them.
Starting point is 00:40:32 No, no. But one at a time. I'm going to go Empire Strikes Back. Dang it. I would say that that's the... I was hoping that would sneak from my first pick. So if I had taken a different one, you would have drafted Empire Strikes Back? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:42 1,000%. All right. Well, there you go. Well... Because that's... Yeah, that is the one. There's a dirty secret about the Star Wars, the trilogy movies, and it's that I really like Star Wars. They're okay.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Yeah, they're not all great. And because I had gone and I did a full rewatch with the kids, getting them introduced to it. And I remember texting my friends, like as I'm rewatching New Hope, going, oh, no. Guys, are these movies bad? Like, what is happening here? Well, you're really ruining my ability to pick New Hope second. Because I think. It's definitely a poll winner.
Starting point is 00:41:22 My point was simply like, once I got to Empire, it was, oh, yeah, here we go. Now I remember what it was. We're back, baby. But, yeah, go ahead. Draft New Hope. Well, I was about to. But the hard part is, yeah, I had New Hope and Empire Strikes Back on my list. And I was hoping you would take the first one.
Starting point is 00:41:42 But there's... I did. There's an... No, you took the second one. Well, sure, chronologically. Do you know what episode number it is? Yeah, that should be five, right? All right.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Just checking. He's always after you, man. I know. What, Fortnite over here? Yes, I'm after him. Man, that was like two years ago. Yeah, you'll never live it down. There is how good the movie is,
Starting point is 00:42:03 but there's also groundbreaking nature to a lot of space movies things that had never been done um when you talk about sequels and you talk about um you know some sequels are better than the first one but the first one had a bigger cultural impact when it came out so but you put me in a tough position because i feel like i'm just chasing star wars if i go with New Hope here. You would be. But you're welcome to do it. So I'm actually going to – there are so many classics, but I'm going to take one that I'm just afraid I won't get later in the draft.
Starting point is 00:42:35 Maybe it doesn't belong here at number two. But I know what can come back to me, so I'm going to take Interstellar. Dang. I knew that one would not come that's on my list and i know it's like mike's if it's not his favorite jam man i know i know and with you having two picks i was just too concerned that you would take it with one of the two and i know some of the other ones i like are going to get back to me so you interstellar is a great you made the correct it's a great movie it's so good interstellar is fabulous i choice. You made the correct choice. It's a great movie. It's so good. Interstellar is fabulous.
Starting point is 00:43:05 I have not left very many movies where it sticks with you so strongly to the point of I bought the Science of Interstellar book. And I had to preorder it. It bends your mind. I had to wait for this thing. Because as much as we can because I mean you know they're talking about really hypothetical stuff out there like black holes and things but they actually tried to
Starting point is 00:43:31 get the science as accurate as possible as we know it right now. The movie is tremendous. Yeah it is great. I haven't seen it in too long. Oh fire. I need to get ready to weep my friend. It's a great movie. Alright Mike you are on the clock for two space movie picks. All right.
Starting point is 00:43:48 And I will just clean up after you. Yeah, I mean, there's not really a game to be played on this one. Maybe one pick in particular. So I'm just going to take movies that I love. And since Empire did not make it to me. I'm going to start it off. We'll go with a quirky one. One that when I saw the preview. I said what in the heck.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Is this movie. And I'm a superhero guy. But Guardians of the Galaxy. Is the watchability. Of this movie. It's one of those. Might as well be Parks and Rec. You can just throw it on over and over and over.
Starting point is 00:44:26 You could be flipping channels in Guardians. You're like, oh, we're an hour and a half in? Great. We're 20 minutes in? Great. And the second movie wasn't anything like that. The first one, because the music's integrated, because of how fun the movie is, it's the definition of a fun, great space movie.
Starting point is 00:44:42 The first one is superior for sure, but I really enjoyed the second one. I can watch the second one over and over too. I did really like the second one, but the first one's better. Very, very excited for number three whenever that comes out in the next couple years. Are they bringing back, like, was it James Gunn? I think so. Whoever did the first one I think is coming back for the third.
Starting point is 00:45:03 I believe so. I believe he's in there. So then with my second pick, I have no idea. I have no idea what's going to make it back and what will not. But now do I just hurt Andy? Yeah, I mean, he got your Interstellar. I'm not that worried. You're not that worried?
Starting point is 00:45:22 No, I mean, I know what one you might be thinking of. Yeah, all right. I won't pick just to harm. I'm going to take. You're not that worried? No. I mean, I know what one you might be thinking of. Yeah, all right. I won't pick just a harm. I'm going to take a really impactful movie. Look, dude. I mean, it's got one of the goats. It's got Mr. T. Hanks in there. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:45:35 I'm going to take Apollo 13, baby. I just assumed this would be Andy's pick at some point. It is on my list. It's a great movie. This thing, back when you... The story is fantastic, but the fact that when you were a kid and you saw
Starting point is 00:45:51 this, and they actually shot it in the Vomit Combat or whatever, so that when they're in space, they are actually not on strings, but they are essentially in zero gravity. When I was a kid, my little brain just was exploding as they tried to figure all this stuff out.
Starting point is 00:46:10 So I'm taking Apollo 13. It was on the list. I'm going to go with the Empire Strikes Back choice here in the series, but I'm going to take Aliens. Aliens. Interesting. Why would you take the second one? Because I think it was a little bit better.
Starting point is 00:46:28 It follows the sequel. It had more action to it. It had a little bit more development. I had Bill Paxton. Yeah. Paul Reiser's in that one too, right? I think it's generally... Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 00:46:40 And it's generally the more appreciated of the two. Most people have that as their favorite. I think I like it a little bit more. But again, it's like the more appreciated of the two like most people have that as their favorite i think i like it a little bit more but it's again it's like the whole thing of like it was a brand new concept of the alien but then aliens is a little bit more revered in my head i mean i know a couple differentiators like bill pax and stuff but for the most part those two movies are just one giant conglomeration that's the the sign of a great series, by the way. That's how Back to the Future used to be for me, too. I couldn't remember where certain parts of certain movies were.
Starting point is 00:47:10 And Indiana Jones, even. Some of the great trilogies do that. That's what was so weird about Back to the Future 3. I can't keep one and two apart in my mind. There's all these, but then it's like, or we'll go to the Wild West! They wanted to make a Western, man. Hey, that's all these but then it's like or go to the wild west yeah they wanted to make a western man hey that's fine they did it um all right i am on the clock uh i so i didn't put aliens on my list i knew that that would be like a super popular one i never got into it i just i
Starting point is 00:47:36 i know i let me put it this way i think i've seen it like i'm pretty sure i've seen game over man game over but i don't know for sure that i have maybe that one was just a little too old for me I've seen it. I'm pretty sure I've seen it. Game over, man. Game over. But I don't know for sure that I have. Maybe that one was just a little too old for me and wasn't quite the Star Wars popularity that made me rewatch it. It was fabulous. I did Prometheus when that came out.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Went and saw that in the theater. We were just talking about 3D movies but Prometheus in 3D was actually a better experience. Because they built it about 3D movies, but Prometheus in 3D was actually- A better experience? It was an experience because they built it for 3D. But it's funny because it's in the alien universe. Universe, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:16 But you go, so I watched that and I was like, man, I need to watch Alien. So I go back and I watch Alien and just the hilarity of the tech in Prometheus. So much better. This movie takes place just after Alien. You're like, why is the tech running on an Atari? It's very funny.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Okay. Man, there are so many space sci-fi movies here that I love. I'm going to go... Alright. The first. I'm going to go. All right. The first one I'm going to go with is Total Recall because it is an absolute classic. I let it go back to you. I appreciate it. We had talked about it earlier, whether or not it was a space movie.
Starting point is 00:48:56 I hate to say it. I've never seen the movie. Oh, it's so good. Wait, I watched it on a plane. You guys made me watch it. Yes. Never mind. That's Schwarzenegger, right? Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Oh, I have seen them. It is. It is a... Total Recall is peak 1980s action. Was that 80s? It might have been like early 90s. It might have been early 90s, but when a decade is just transferring over, I'm saying the... 1990
Starting point is 00:49:21 on the dot. Oh, okay. It had the 80s vibes of there were there's just certain things that they did in 80s action movies specifically collateral damage of people who should not be involved in the fight at all yeah we don't do that anymore in action movies but in the 80s oh yeah if it didn't matter all bystanders are doomed are in danger at all times but that that movie has always stuck with me so many lines that come from that so many thoughts um and and it had an incredible ending uh it was one of those movies that like that was that was like the first movie i watched where i was like whoa at the end i was like i what do i think the end so what do
Starting point is 00:50:03 you what happened what happened in the end of toll recall to you what do I think the ending is? So what happened? What happened at the end of Total Recall to you? I think it was real. Okay. I think it was real. All right. That's a great movie. The other one that I think this would come back to me. I don't think either of you would take it, but I will be crushed if either of you did.
Starting point is 00:50:18 So I'm not going to allow it. I'm just going to take the one that I absolutely want. It's Serenity. I was going to be so upset at you because I'm not going to take the one that I absolutely want. It's Serenity. I was going to be so upset at you because I'm not going to draft it. But if you didn't, Mr. Firefly, draft it. That's the movie from the series. I was going to crush you if you didn't take it. Rightfully so.
Starting point is 00:50:38 And I didn't even wait for last because I couldn't go without Serenity. That movie and that series, so unbelievably good. If you haven't watched Firefly, watch it. I have not. It's a quick, you would love it. It's super quick because it's only one season. How much is different from the season and the movie? It's actually incredible what they did.
Starting point is 00:50:57 I thought it bled together. It kind of like they mixed and matched. Some of it was the same and some of it was completely different. Even storylines of what the main arc is like some of it was the same but things were completely different it was like a brand new story using what they liked from the show so jason has star wars empire strikes back total recall and serenity mike's got guardians and galaxy and apollo 13 and i'm sitting here with interstellar and aliens it's got Guardians and Galaxy and Apollo 13, and I'm sitting here with Interstellar and Aliens. It's not bad.
Starting point is 00:51:30 And just in case Mike gets the impulse to destroy me in his future picks, I will take The Fifth Element. You talk about a movie, like you just said, like Guardians. Corbin. Corbin. Corbin, my man. Corbin Dills. Corbin. Corbin.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Corbin. Corbin. There are just something about Fifth Element Fits the mold like Guardians does Where you could watch it a thousand times And it's got enough to it Big battle boom Fifth Element I just love that movie
Starting point is 00:51:54 The music is awesome The fight scenes are awesome The settings All of the costuming It's great But when I saw it in the theater, I was like, what? It didn't work. I did not get it.
Starting point is 00:52:09 Gary Oldman is the bad guy. It's talked about a lot, but whatever. So we'll mention it on here, but just how crazy it is that the protagonist and the antagonist never actually meet in the movie. They never meet. No. There's like a brief moment where they almost catch each other in the hallway of the hotel spaceship. Oh, I remember that.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Yeah. But they never actually meet. That's incredibly cool. It's like this weird quirky story thing that they have. And it had so much like nuanced sci-fi stuff. It's a great universe. I have to take it because it's a classic that I love and a great space movie.
Starting point is 00:52:53 It's fantastic. I like it. Final two picks for Mike. I know what I'm going with. I know what... There's one that's a type of a poll winner, but I'm not going to draft it because I don't truly like it. But we're going to start off these back-to-back picks with...
Starting point is 00:53:10 We're going to go with an animated movie, my friends. Oh, interesting. Okay. We're going with WALL-E. Yeah. Makes sense. WALL-E is a masterpiece from start to finish. And you have a movie where i don't even know it's like the first
Starting point is 00:53:26 25 to 30 minutes of the of the movie doesn't even have dialogue they're just able to tell this story with this robot on the deserted earth before he eventually meets eva and so there is dialogue in the movie yes i think i quit about 30 minutes in it's like a museum to jason get out of here right you've seen wally i have seen the first 30 minutes of wally you are a clown a clown you haven't seen the whole of wally are you just are you doing a shtick for the for the show so are you really haven't seen wally i didn't want to bring this up but i don't you know i'm a man for the people here because this paints me in a very poor light to be the people in wall that part was great that part was fantastic um but no I was like I was super bored and I just assumed there's
Starting point is 00:54:13 no words the whole movie so I went on did something else that is unbelievable looking for any of these picture shows I get regular full movies nowadays. Oh, man. Wally is a masterpiece. Wally is your pick, Mike. It's all yours. The story visually, it is incredible. And from one masterpiece of the animated genre, we're going right to another masterpiece of the comedic genre.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Oh, okay. We're taking Spaceballs, baby, because it's one of my favorites, and I can watch Spaceballs over and over. Your shorts is as big as mine. This is one of those comedies where you can hit play, and I could probably recite 80% to 90%. I didn't realize you loved it that much. Oh, my gosh, man.
Starting point is 00:55:00 It's so good. That is peak Mel Brooks. Yeah. Or Dark Helmet. But it is peak Mel Brooks before Darth Helmet? Yeah. Or Dark Helmet. But it is peak Mel Brooks before the jokes start. Slapstick. Yeah, and I love slapstick. But the later Mel Brooks, I mean, they're still very, very funny.
Starting point is 00:55:14 But they're recycled jokes. You got used to it. Let's comb the desert. You remember that? Yeah, of course I remember. But that was before the jokes had started fully recycling themselves, and it was the first time you'd seen them. Oh, my goodness.
Starting point is 00:55:31 Spaceballs. And it still holds up. It's on my list. It's one of the best satires of all time. All right. Well, I'll keep it nice and boring. But, look, this was going to be probably the first pickoff for me before Jason stole Empire.
Starting point is 00:55:44 But I'll go New Hope. I'll take Star Wars and New Hope to close out my draft. It probably should be taken. I still think it's very, very close to Empire Strikes Back and that universe, those movies, so much better than those later ones that they came out with. At least the first three. I like- Or I guess you'd call them, yeah, episode one, two, three.
Starting point is 00:56:03 I like seven through nine. Seven through nine are much better. And I get that seven is just New Hope redone. Yeah. Don't care. It was awesome. It was awesome. And then you have the big turn in the middle of the movie,
Starting point is 00:56:17 which no one saw coming. It was fantastic. And then Rise of Skywalker is, like, that is an Empire's greatness type of a movie. And I know that... Some people felt that way about the third... No, people... Are you thinking Phantom Menace? No, no.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Episode three. Yeah, but people gave number two so much crap that they changed a bunch of stuff for number three. And I get the ending for... Well, nine, technically nine. And it's very unsatisfying at the end. But I still find them enjoyable. All right, so Mike's final team, Guardians, Apollo 13,
Starting point is 00:56:56 WALL-E, and Spaceballs. Jason has Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Total Recall, Serenity, and one final pick. Then I'm with Interstellar Aliens, Fifth Element, and Star Wars A New Hope. Jason, close us out oh so many good options i could go galaxy quest which i do love it's him alan galaxy quest i just showed that to my kids i i actually genuinely love it it's not gonna make the cut and then i'm really between two the other one that's not gonna make the cut which i love is stargate that movie was phenomenal no i don't i mean it's not like a current modern popular movie by any means i'm gonna go with one that um i i think
Starting point is 00:57:34 when this movie came out i was like that is an awful movie like this was really not that great was it because you were too young for it i don't think i was too young i think i was just kind of not watching it to just enjoy it you know those movies it's like okay it's a popcorn but you were expecting more yeah i was expecting i wanted like some cinematic masterpiece and and so i was like too snooty and i watched it oh yes uh over and over and over i've probably seen this movie 50 times because it's another one where if it's just on, I'll be like, you have my attention. You're just fun to watch. And it's Armageddon, baby. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Okay. I mean, that cast, it's just fun. It's not a great movie. I'm not up here standing on a soapbox being like, Armageddon's one of the greatest space movies of all time. Who made Armageddon? It's not Schumacher. Brockheimer? Was it Brockheimer?
Starting point is 00:58:30 Michael Bay. Okay, that's – yeah, yeah. Slow-mo. Slow-mo. Well, it's slow-mo. Like, everything is insane. Melodramatic. Everything is – like, you have just quick cuts all over the place.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Like, hold on, Michael. Oh, Brockheimer, too. Yeah. Should we slow down and have more story? There's no time. There's no time. We must get to the next scene. That was Brockheimer and Michael Bay. Oh, on, Michael. Oh, Bruckheimer, too. Yeah. Should we slow down and have more story? There's no time. There's no time. We must get to the next scene. That was Bruckheimer and Michael Bay.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Oh, yeah, baby. Directed by Michael Bay, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. Oh, man. You know what you get when that happens? You get Armageddon. You do. Just. All right.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Well, a couple that didn't make the cut that were close. You could have gone Alien, the first one. Alien was on my list. Gravity is a great movie. It's very solid. I thought that was outstanding it was overrated uh it might have been overrated uh is and then arrival did you guys see arrival with charlie sheen no no no no no no no the more recent one with um did they remake it i think i did see arrival with amy adams amy adams yeah that movie's outstanding i did not see that one. You have not seen Arrival.
Starting point is 00:59:26 It was like Contact to me. 94% Rotten Tomatoes. You should check it out. Okay. Did you guys like Contact? No. I understand why you're comparing those two. That makes perfect sense. Contact was a little too... You could have said that about
Starting point is 00:59:41 Interstellar. Some people might not have liked Interstellar for the same reason. Overcomplicated. A little long. But at least in Interstellar. Some people might not have liked interstellar for the same reason. Right. Overcomplicated, a little long, but at least in, in interstellar, they didn't have everything building up to this particular climax. And then the machine they spent,
Starting point is 00:59:54 I deliver bill. It, it, it gets destroyed. They're like, don't worry. We've secretly been building a second one that you had no idea we were doing. That is garbage.
Starting point is 01:00:04 It is absolute garbage. On my list, have you guys ever seen Sunshine? I never saw that. Sunshine is like one of these indie movies that is very, very legit. The movie I was referencing that is like a poll winner, 2001, Space Odyssey. You know what? I finally watched that for the first time. Brooks had recommended it when I was sick.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Oh, wait. I recommended Close Encounters of the Third Kind. That's the one. Oh, okay? I finally watched that for the first time. Brooks had recommended it when I was sick. Oh, wait. I recommended Close Encounters at the third time. That's the one. Oh, okay. I always confuse those two. Sorry. Close Encounters is the one I watched, and it was good. I feel like Brooks is more of a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy type of guy.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Which, you know what's better? The book. Oh, come on. But then to close, I'm going to list independence day is on here oh wow just in just in case i guess independence days would count so i didn't put independence day on mine because they're fighting on earth it wasn't really a space movie even though it dealt with aliens and i'm if you had drafted it totally allowed but it was off mine for that reason and then uh armageddon wasn't really a space movie yeah traveling really are traveling and working in space.
Starting point is 01:01:07 In Independence Day, they fly up to the mothership. But a lot of Armageddon takes place in space. More than Independence Day. Okay, maybe a little bit more. And then my final shout out, much like Sunshine, another independent movie, if you have not seen it, I fully recommend Moon. I've heard you recommend that before. I have not seen it. That looked recommend Moon. I've heard you recommend that before. I have not seen it.
Starting point is 01:01:26 That looked a little creepy. It is. That's the whole point. It's very bizarre. Do you guys remember Red Planet with Val Kilmer? Oh, my goodness. Yeah. The robot goes crazy.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Why don't you guys take the Martian? Yeah, I mean. It was all right. Mars is cool. I do like Mars. I love a good Mars story. Nah. Damn. Mars is cool. I do like Mars. I love a good Mars story. Nah, damn.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Ghost of Mars. What did we learn today? That Jason hasn't seen WALL-E, and it's ridiculous. I've seen some of it. I learned that the statue of David is very big. Don't stop this again. You ruined mine. I was going to say, David's not the biggest compared to all the others out there. Dave Lincoln.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Dave Lincoln's taller statue. A much taller statue. Never know what this show is going to bring your way. Thanks for listening. Staying with us. Goodbye. There'll be another episode soon. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast.
Starting point is 01:02:26 To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.

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