Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Big David & The Best Space Movies - Comedy Podcast
Episode Date: March 16, 2023Spit Hit for March 16th, 2023: On this episode of the Spitballers, we discuss menu reading superpowers, selfish monster parents, and the classic game of snore & seek. As always, we also tackle so...me of life’s toughest questions. We countdown to the end of the episode with a draft of the best space movies. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Today's episode is brought to you by our friends at Indochino.
Fellas, don't wear just any suit on your big day.
With dozens of high thread count fabrics, patterns, and colors to choose from,
Indochino helps you design a suit perfectly tailored to your body and your personality.
I love my Indochino suit.
It's blue.
It's got pinstripes.
I got to pick out exactly how I wanted it to look. The
liner on the inside, this thing is sharp and it fits like a glove. They've been dressing grooms
and groomsmen since 2007. Indochino lets you design the suit, like I said, that you've always
wanted to fine tune every detail. We're talking lapels, linings, monograms, pocket flaps, and more.
And with suits starting at just $4.99 and fitted shirts at $89, it's bespoke without the premium price tag.
Look, you can go into a showroom.
That's what I did.
I went in real, real quick.
Very professional.
They measured me up.
And then before you know it, a custom suit made just for me.
I highly suggest it. When planning your wedding, get a suit as unique as you with Indochino custom suit made just for me. I highly suggest it.
When planning your wedding, get a suit as unique as you with Indochino.
Go to Indochino.com.
Use code BALLERS to get 10% off any purchase of $399 or more.
That's I-N-D-O-C-H-I-N-O.com.
Promo code BALLERS.
Spit wides on this episode of the show.
This beautiful, wonderful, spectacular, almost
difficult to look at because of its beauty, spit hit episode.
We discuss menu reading superpowers, selfish monster parents, and well, a lot more.
I'm not going to spoil the whole show for you, but we tackle some of life's toughest
questions.
Enjoy every minute of today's Spit Hit.
What happens when three buffoons give life advice,
explore unrealistic situations,
and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?
It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason.
Welcome in, everybody.
What happened?
What happened?
Yes.
Was?
What happened?
Oh, baby.
He's back. He's back. What happened was... What happened? Oh, baby. He's back.
He's back.
What happened?
So, as we started, I had one thought.
It was very small.
It was about zippers.
As my thoughts usually are.
We've got a space-themed draft.
Uh-huh.
Zip just seemed...
You know, just like... I i don't know is that the sound
of moving through space i believe it is that is my understanding as you zip through space it was
kind of muffled it was soft it went too long yeah so i started there baby and then i didn't know
where to go from there i got lost in a wormhole. Welcome in. I can't wait for someone to just be like,
bit it, that.
Oh, and just end it? Early.
It just stopped. Zippity boop.
That's all
I got for you.
Well, that's one of the exciting things about the Spitballers
podcast. You never know how it's going to start. I closed
my eyes. It was sultry.
I bent the ear towards
my co-host Jason
and I absorbed and brought in
all of that. You're welcome.
Would you rather? That's a great question.
And a Best Space Movies draft
on today's show. It's
going to be a great one. You can find us on
Twitter at SpitballersPod. SpitballersPod.com
is the website. I gave you a
3 out of 10. 3 out of 10.
Yeah, well. Not very good. I gave me a 4.
Instagram.com
slash spitballerspod. Thank you for reviewing
the show. Thank you for
well, he's grading himself.
I know. And he only gave himself
a 4 and he likes to cheat.
It's still a failing grade, but
it's better than what you gave me.
We appreciate everybody supporting
the show at jointhespit.com
and everybody that's reviewed it on Apple Podcasts,
subscribed over there, which they now call following.
So you've got to follow on Apple Podcasts.
And those reviews, we read every single one of them that come through,
and we really appreciate it when you tell your friends and family about the show.
Honestly, and I'm sure Al can echo this,
there is nothing cooler than when you find out a family has been posing would you rather questions from
the show or doing the draft with us or playing along from home because that is awesome absolutely
all right let's get it going Would you rather?
I would.
Kirby from Patreon.
Some more what?
This, the year.
All right, here's the first question.
The year is 3021.
Oh, my.
A little ways away.
And random people are chosen for Coliseum-style entertainment.
The game, it's hide-and-seek.
The catch?
Of course.
The catch is the winner gets the best life ever,
but the loser gets, well, they get axed.
So we've gone forward 1,000 years.
But we've gone backwards.
And we've gone backwards in entertainment.
We all know that's inevitable.
That's where we're headed, yeah.
We know.
So you're getting rewarded with a great life, or you're getting axed.
Would you rather be the hider or the seeker in a coliseum?
Well, I mean, is that to be considered?
Isn't the real question, like, would you be a better hider or a better seeker?
Well, you've got to pick.
I mean, because if you're in a coliseum, I mean, your options seem limited on hiding.
So I'd rather be the seeker in an open field.
I would imagine there's a time limit and there's obstacles and things that you can think of like a really big laser quest maze.
To me, it was you're in the Coliseum and the Coliseum is all in bounds.
Fair game.
Oh, like the whole concourse and all of the bathrooms.
It's not just the dirt field, because if it's just the lower dirt bowl,
I will take the seeker, please, and I will win 100 out of 100.
The problem is if it's the entire Coliseum and there's a time limit,
I'm going to choose the hider in that situation.
Well, what if the time limit is like one week?
You have to be able to hide from this person for an entire week.
That's a long time.
That's a very long time.
You better pack a sandwich because you're going to get hungry hiding up in
them air ducts.
You can't move, right?
Once you choose your spot, your spot's your spot.
I don't know.
I think that's got to be a fair rule here.
Because it's not Hunger Games.
You're not being hunted.
You're hiding.
Right.
But in a regular game of hide and seek, you can move.
Yeah, but in this game, you can't.
Wait, you can move in a regular game of hide andand-seek, you can move. Yeah, but in this game, you can't. Wait, you can move in a regular game of hide-and-seek?
That's my understanding of the rules.
In theory, you could shift around a little bit.
I feel like that's Bush League, man.
If I'm being honest about hide-and-seek.
You never did that?
Oh, I did that.
I absolutely did that, but I knew I was cheating because I was like,
oh, they've already been in that room.
They're not going to check there again.
And when I watch them walk across the hallway, I sneak back into that room.
That's part of the game. And then I into that room. That's part of the game.
And then I win the game.
That's part of the game.
The best in hide-and-seek was when you would just start the game very close to the seeker.
That's a key.
Yeah, if you're listening and you're still hide-and-seeking a lot, that is a pro tip.
You hide behind the seeker and then just follow them.
I have an official rule.
The seeker must close their eyes and often is required to face a wall away from the players.
When the seeker counts, the players look for hiding places, and once they are positioned, they cannot move.
What?
That makes sense.
If you're a good hider, you've found a spot they can't find.
That's the point.
It's not called hide and move, seek.
Or pretend you're their shadow.
It's called hide and seek.
You just find a spot to hide.
All right, so let's kind of bring it back a little bit
so we can answer the question.
Would you rather, if you had a whole coliseum,
yeah, I mean, the week timeline is strange.
It's too far.
If it was one day.
One day.
One day in an entire, but the whole coliseum.
But you're stuck in the spot you find.
Yes, the whole Coliseum.
This is where my weight becomes a problem.
I'm going to be the seeker.
I want to be the hider, but I don't know that the air ducts can hold me.
There's no air ducts in the Coliseum.
This is 3021, man.
I mean, there's.
Oh, it's a Coliseum style.
Okay.
I'm sure they've got this thing air conditioned.
But just to be clear, you're not concerned about your physical size as much as you are
the weight of something holding you.
Well, both are a problem with the size.
You know, you'd go like, oh, I'm going to hide around that curtain.
It's like that curtain's got a big bump.
That curtain is sticking way up from the wall.
The curtain's with child.
Yeah.
But then there's also like, you you know the size is an issue for let's let's really focus on the air ducts here
because why well that's the that's the first place andy's gonna look that's the primo hiding spot
and i get a little hot when i you know so this is like great for me because this cools me down. But now I've got a size shape issue,
fitting a rectangle into a square type of problem.
Mike and I aren't just slipping into air ducts all the time.
I mean, this is generally an area that's hard to get into.
Yeah, and then of course.
Unless you're Bruce Willis.
Right.
He made it look so easy.
He did, but also the first move as the seeker is I'm cranking the heat up.
Oh, smoking them out?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I think I want to be the hider, though, because that's a lot of movement.
If you're the seeker and you've got to just be –
I mean, you know you're not just casually walking.
You might die.
You're running everywhere for a whole day.
You wouldn't want to be running.
Well, jogging, like a hustle.
Yeah, hustle.
Yeah.
And I would much rather just lay down somewhere.
My problem with being the seeker is I can't find anything.
Yeah, me too.
If you told me I had to find you you the second that my goal is you finding
you we disappear you could just stand on the wall and i would be looking everywhere is there something
i would shout i can't i give up i can't find you it's impossible 30 seconds in i quit take my life
is there something about the male brain that makes us like that? Well, I know it must be for all three of us because I completely agree with you.
My wife ridicules me for my lack of common observance.
Scientifically speaking, I have heard this.
I'm not a scientist, so I cannot confirm nor deny.
But I've heard this rumor scientifically speaking.
Go on. But I'm saying, like, it goes back to brain science of go way, way, way, way, way back
when we are, you know, cave people.
And the roles of survival were the strong males would go hunt.
And then you would hunt or gather, right?
And then you, so the female brain, as I understand it, is like...
That's why they can see color more...
They can differentiate color much better than us.
Just the natural selection of them being able...
Because they weren't hunters?
No, because their job of gathering, you had to go out and be able to see what was not poisonous.
Meanwhile...
We weren't gathering.
We were just trying to find a gigantic buffalo running across a field.
So the human, the eye or the male eye, I'm sorry, is more trained for movement.
So you need the ketchup bottle to move.
So we're Tyrannosaurus Rexus.
Yes.
And it's maybe just as this is fulfilling the prophecy of me hearing that,
but like my ability to quickly glance at the ground and see if there are
ants anywhere in my vicinity moving around,
I can knock that out in a split second.
I will,
I identified immediately.
So what if something is not moving?
It is,
it might as well just be invisible because I cannot see.
So wait for Jason to start getting a little squeamish
and he'll start moving. I can sit
still forever, guys. Really?
I'm pretty good at laying down and doing nothing.
He can sleep still. Well, now that's
actually the big issue. If I fall asleep,
I am out.
You know, you just follow the snore
and I lose.
That's going to be the hard part.
If you are the seeker, you just kick your snore, and I lose. That's going to be the hard part. Just wait for him not to fall asleep.
If you are the seeker, you just kick your feet back, read a book.
You're like, you're not staying awake for 24 hours when you can't move.
And you just wait, and then you're like, I hear him.
He's sleeping over in the third row.
If you're the hider, the terror of being found is the worst thing that could happen here.
Because if you're discovered, you're going to lose and die.
That's a 24-hour panic attack.
Now, the other one is like, okay, you don't find him, you don't find him, you don't find him.
But being found is terror.
Yeah, that is.
At any moment, you could be found, which means you die.
I feel like I would be the seeker.
And as soon as it starts, I'm going to be like, I'm going to check outside real quick.
Stomp, stomp, stomp.
Let me see if they're outside, and then I'm out of here, and then I just run away.
Oh, I thought you were trying to draw.
He's trying to abandon the game.
Yes, sir.
I would like to not die.
It's 30-21, so he gets shot by lasers.
There's no way they would catch you.
Jess from Twitter, would you rather have the ability to, at will,
switch your eyes to a clear 10 times optical zoom
or third person bird's eye view?
Oh.
Both would be very cool.
Oh.
One is so much better.
One seems more practical.
Yeah, the 10 times zoom is awesome.
I mean, oh, what is is this a low light restaurant menu
no problem i can see the ink on the printing that's right i can read this menu that's the
first place that's the first thing that came to your restaurant the first thing was your thought
of your decrepit eyes that you can't read a menu? Well, if the light is low, Mike, it's really hard.
I don't want to bring my phone out
and have the flashlight on and look like that guy.
I just want to blink once and be like,
look at these giant words in my brain.
Jason is famous for one specific thing.
I've worked with him for 20 years, it feels like.
It's got to be close to that for real.
It's close to that, right?
Actually, it's probably been 20 years, it feels like. It's got to be close to that for real. It's actually close to that, right? Actually, it's probably been 20 years.
Almost.
Goodness gracious.
And we're talking about going back to web design.
I used to work for him.
I hired him when he was like 14.
Slave labor.
And he paid me like I was 12.
But from the very beginning.
Here's your nickel.
Is everything I designed on the web,
Jason wants five font sizes bigger.
That's right.
So he's been hitting the command plus on his computer as if he had 10 times optical zoom
for the longest amount of time.
Oh, no.
This is how my laptop just is.
What?
My laptop is just always zoomed in.
And for those of you at home.
Yeah, you go to YouTube.
Why don't you guys turn yours around, show the comparison here.
That's grandpa mode.
This is just, well, you're going to have to.
You got to take your screen protector off because you got to protect from.
So that's one way.
That's called the stupid way.
If you're on YouTube, you could see the stupid way.
Or.
To be clear, Jason is the guy with that phone made for 80-year-olds
with the numbers the size of your hand.
I just like –
And it's always come down to –
Just admit you can't see.
I can't see very well, guys.
Get better glass.
Get some –
Mike, Mike, Mike, imagine my position designing for the common man,
and here's my boss constantly telling me it's not big enough i am
the common man you believe that you're the only man that exists well i'm the you know i i think
you build for the lowest common denominator that's me do you or do you not yet have bifocals i have
progressives do you really i do you have not really i do this is the first time this is like this is
like happened two months ago i don't speak uh grandfather right so so what is it explain that
to me and the listener at home so my gosh we're old i i don't know that this is 100 exactly right
and it's me it's mine uh-huh i think what it is is that the lens, my glasses, that if I look lower, that it gets a little stronger up close.
So if I'm reading-
Like a bifocal.
Kind of like a bifocal, but instead of having one little section, it's much more new age.
It's progressive instead of a solid visible line across the glasses.
I don't want to have a visible line.
But they are bifocal.
Yeah.
So you're progressive.
You're wearing B.
Franklin's progressives.
I would never have a bifocal until I really need them.
But you but you're wearing bifocal and you're zoomed to level 50.
Yeah.
Also, my brightness was not up nearly enough.
No.
Okay.
We've spent some time on this.
So you've never known this?
Well, yeah, I didn't.
I know he zoomed in.
He's super zoom over there.
But I didn't know he wore bifocals.
Yes, they are to be called.
Progressives.
Progressives.
But you're dual depths.
You haven't even considered what being able to see in a third-eye bird's view would do.
No one's sneaking up on you.
I don't want to see my bald spot, Mike.
Come on.
One of these things is awesome, but one of these things is, oh, crap.
I'm in third-person view again.
I mean, I would have to shave my head.
Look, I'm falling apart physically.
This show is ripping you apart. That's what I look like from my head. Look, I'm falling apart physically. This show is ripping you apart.
That's what I look like from the back.
Yeah, I don't want me in the picture, okay?
Got to get it together first.
I can't figure the other than not being snuck up on within a small area.
I can't think of the practical need for like paintball.
The car hide and seek.
The car has the,
uh,
they can give you the third person view.
That's very useful.
But as a person walking backwards,
you need to like walk backwards without looking and be like,
let me go take in the zoom.
Final answer.
I mean,
like just finding things.
I think there's,
there's gotta be other finding things.
If they're on my back.
How would finding things be easier in third person?
Because you don't have to turn around.
I guess he's saying you can't see the whole room at once,
which you can't do within your normal eyes.
Yeah, we're not birds, Jason.
I could see the whole room at once.
But I'll take the Zoom.
Also, if there is a listener out there that can fix my
eyes let me know uh yeah that's not how it works yeah well they yeah they can sort of i try to get
lasik my whatever's in the front of my eyes too small i'm just a whatever is in the front of you
i don't know what it's i don't know if that's the cornea or if that's the something else my eye my
front eye part is did the doctor describe it as that
they said the front eye i'm sorry jason your front eye part is too small
storm from patreon would you rather only be able to take full one hour showers for the rest of your
life okay sounds good or only be able to take strict one minute showers okay sounds bad so
i'm out yeah but are you considering the
time applications here like you got to get ready for work there's 50 minutes until work and you're
going to be late i'm not sure i'm not sure how it happened but somehow this became the jason moore
hour this is ridiculous there's two other people on this show but having said that jason yes what is
we you are you are legendary for your uh water wasting right for your uh uh despising of the
earth my decadence you're yes that's a good word it is a good word uh It is a good word. Thank you. Lavish. So you take a long shower.
Yes.
What is the shortest shower?
Let's say you're going for just trying to do all the things that you actually have to do
that aren't just stand in the shower or sit.
I don't know what's going on in there.
But what's that length of time?
Six, seven minutes, I'm guessing.
I mean, every time we pickleball and
i come here and shower i'm i'm in and out pretty quick that's that's my quick shower is six seven
minutes i don't think you can shower in a minute i think you can rinse off i've done a minute shower
yeah but every single shower if every single one of your showers is a minute you stink you just
you gotta know you gotta go you gotta you're prepared yeah you're prepared and you do you do hair and body at the
same moment it's all together you just squirt a bunch of shampoo on your head and that's your
soap no it's it well yeah you could do that but you i'm saying you could i can put the soap in
my hand before i turn the water on oh so it's just the what the so there's a timer and the
water shuts off you turn it on and 60 seconds later, it turns off.
As long as it's the perfect temperature right when you turn it on.
That's not counting against my minute.
Yeah, that's not fair.
I do have an important question.
That's not fair at all.
Do you wear your bifocals in the shower?
Only when I'm...
Well, I will say this.
I will say this.
Important answer.
Some objects are tough to see.
It sucks when we get a shampoo and conditioner bottle that are like
the same color the same everything one just says shampoo one says conditioner i'm like i have no
i'm sitting there literally holding this up like like what is this you don't wear them in the
shower no i don't wear them in the shower they would fog up i have but you wear your watch in
the shower of course i i used that's just Of course. You can't see it though.
Why is that weird?
If I wear my watch in the shower, it's just because I don't need to take it off.
Before I had LASIK, I had glasses for 20 years.
I never didn't wear them in the shower. 100% of the time. I swam in the pool with them too.
What a weirdo. I'm not the weirdo here.
I'm the weirdo because I want to see.
You're the weirdo. You're sitting here holding up
a shampoo bottle
an inch from your eyes. I mean,
what do you do when you're washing your hair?
The water washes off
of your glasses. I'm talking about like moving
your...
I feel like I'm washing my hair.
Do me a favor. Since we're really informing
one another's lives here with our
routines, next time
for one week, shower with your glasses.
It will do nothing to your glasses
to hurt them. I will take a selfie
of just
the face because they're going to be
so fogged up that I'm going to be
wearing blindfolds in the shower.
They will not be fogged at all.
All right.
All right.
We'll see.
That's a promise, right?
That is a owl you're going to need to remind me when this episode releases to try that out.
Hey, next time you're blind in the shower, you'll remember.
Okay, that's fair.
So tomorrow.
Yeah.
All right, let's move on.
What's up, Spitwads?
Do you know how much you are spending in subscriptions?
This is a question that didn't used to be hard to answer,
but now most Americans think that they spend around $80 a month
and the actual total is closer to $200 because why?
Everything is a subscription nowadays.
And if you don't know how much you're spending,
you need to get Rocket Money. Trust me on this. Been a big fan of this company since well before
they were a sponsor, formerly known as Truebill. It's a personal finance app. It finds and cancels
your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, helps you lower your bills all in
one place. Like I said, 80% of people have subscriptions they have forgotten about,
including yours. Truly, I got the Rocket Money app. It made life easy. I found a duplicate
subscription. That's what I discovered and was able to cancel it. And they even have a team that
helps you cancel it. So stop throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions,
and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com
slash ballers. That's rocketmoney.com slash ballers, rocketmoney.com slash ballers. That's rocketmoney.com slash ballers,
rocketmoney.com slash ballers. That's a great question. Things only fog when water's not
hitting them. Like the mirrors in your bathroom fog up because water's not constantly spraying on them.
But if you're in the shower with your glasses,
the water is constantly hitting you in the face and in the glasses.
So you're saying that it is easy to see out of your glasses
when there's water hitting it.
Yes, yes.
Okay.
I'm trying to help you have a better life.
What about washing your face?
If you would like to remove them at that point, that's fine.
I would like to remove them at that point.
I consider all the water hitting my face the washing
of my face. I don't generally exfoliate
in the shower. Well, you should try it.
Look like you at the end?
Nice sugar scrub. Alright, that's a great
question, Alex from the website.
If you had to pick one hour of the day to be your favorite,
which would it be? Ooh, I like
this question. Yeah, I've never thought about that.
That is a great question.
I do know my favorite time of day is sunset.
Okay.
I don't know.
Like four to five, five to six?
Well, it depends on where the earth is in location to the sun.
But yeah, like just when the sun's going down,
the sky is coloring up.
I don't know.
There's just, there's a magical time there.
The day's not over, but it's just kind of like, it's dusk.
Yes.
And like the heat is going away, but it reminds me of being a kid
and like swimming in a pool.
Yeah.
No, I get it.
My parents used to take walks at that time of the day and drag us along,
but I remember that.
That's a nice time.
I think that would be my time.
Really?
You're not going like 5 a.m.?
Right in the morning?
No.
Which is great.
Not a joke or a jab.
I thought you were going to go like that 5, 6 o'clock in the morning,
that time when you get your work done, you get your coffee. coffee golden sun the most caffeinated time of the day is right around there
but no i think the best time of the day is the limelight wait is that a is that what where that
word comes from yeah oh man now i'm gonna be stupid that's right i honestly don't know um i
i would love to learn i think i going to go from 11 to midnight.
I'm more of a night.
You're going to go from 11 to midnight?
I probably used the word completely wrong.
I thought limelight.
Wait, is limelight like an entertainment thing?
Yeah, that's like when you're the focus, you're in the limelight,
and that's a light on a stage.
That's not what I meant.
Well, you're in like the-
I think I meant just like the dusk, the-
The limelight of the sun?
What's another word for dusk?
Thesaurus? Twilight. Ah. dusk the uh limelight of the sun what's another word for dusk twilight ah that's the word i was looking for not limelight okay it's a light yeah uh there will be no light during my magic hour of the day because i i was struggling between 10 to 11 or 11
to 12 i think i'm gonna go there's a big difference for you there is because sometimes i get sleepy
around midnight and i don't think i want to be sleepy during this so maybe i'm gonna shift i'm
gonna go 10 to 11 okay because i get much more done usually at night than in the morning what
are you on a on a average day what are you doing well on an average day i'm probably at that point
if it's been you know a work day we'll get home kids
dinner tuck in bedtime homework all that jazz I'm putting on tv 10 to 11 that's my usual on a not
average day what are you doing well like if I've got work to do you know we we run a business here
whenever I've got a lot of um you know spreadsheet work or or even if I've got...
Concentration work.
Yeah, concentration focus work.
That's when, in those hours, I can get a lot more done.
Okay.
My brain just works better later than it does earlier.
We were just talking about this because we were working on, you know,
some of the stuff for footballers together.
I was like, oh, should we, like, get in early tomorrow morning
and really knock some of this out?
together. I was like, oh, should we get in early tomorrow morning and really
knock some of this out? And it's
because for me, that exact focus
time is 5 to 7 in the
morning. And for him, it's 10 to
midnight. Yeah. I told him I'll work on this
late tonight. He's like, yeah, I got it tonight.
Not the morning person.
Yeah. So,
okay. So we answered that one, right? Yeah.
I think so. Sergio from Patreon
says, if all statues on Earth came to life and became hostile,
which one would be the deadliest or scariest
and the most difficult to destroy?
David.
No.
I mean, that would be a problem.
Sheer size.
Okay.
Yeah.
He's just, he's, because he's humanoid, right?
Is that a big statue? Yeah, I think so. How big is David? Let me find out for you. Because he's humanoid, right?
Is that a big statue?
Yeah, I think so. How big is David?
Let me find out for you.
Let me find out for you.
17 feet.
How tall is David?
17 feet tall by 6.5 feet wide?
Yes.
So the Statue of Liberty could kick David's butt. Oh, I didn't think about the Statue of Liberty could kick David's butt.
Oh, I didn't think about the Statue of Liberty.
Yeah. Oh, man. All I was thinking was
I was just thinking about a human
being who is
massive. Wait, does David, does he not have an arm?
No, he's got an arm.
He's got an arm.
Venus de Milo is the one that has the arm.
Yes, he does.
What about the...
Oh, man.
He's very in shape.
There's a Statue of Unity in India that's the largest,
and there's three bigger than Statue of Liberty.
Wait, what?
Yeah, there's three bigger humanoids.
The motherland calls in Russia has a sword.
That seems like the most dangerous one.
What?
Now, what about the Mount Rushmore?
They're not very mobile, even if they come to life.
What, are they going to roll at you?
No, but what are you going to do to that?
I mean, they just eat you as you try to get near them.
They eat you?
They can't catch you. What about the Sphinx? No nose. mean, he'll just eat you as you try to get near him. They eat you? But they can't catch you.
What about the Sphinx?
No nose.
Oh, dude, what are we talking about?
Abe Lincoln.
Oh.
I mean, he's a scrappy, lanky fighter.
Yeah.
He was a wrestler for real?
Yes.
For the Washington, D.C. one?
Yeah, exactly.
He'd get up out that chair, and now he'd have a giant chair he could swing around like a wrestler.
Oh. He'd get up out that chair, and now he'd have a giant chair he could swing around like a wrestler. Abe Lincoln's statue is, if he was standing, which they've figured out, he would be 28 feet tall.
Oh, he'd just be David.
Yeah, and he'd be wearing clothes, so there'd be that.
That would be helpful.
We're moving on.
Rhonda from the website, In the book about your life,
what is the name of the chapter you are currently in?
What is the name of the previous chapter?
That I'm in right now?
Yeah, what's the name of the chapter you're in right now,
and what's the name of the previous chapter?
I want to know what the next chapter is going to be called.
That's not the question, Jason.
No, I'm just following up and saying that's what I'm curious about.
Okay.
Yeah, the previous chapter would be called Sleepless in Parentville.
Okay.
How long is a chapter of your life?
That's a good question.
That is.
I think that needs to be defined.
Five years?
It's funny because when I look at-
I guess that wouldn't be the yeah when i
when i think about like the chapters of my life if i were to just say how long are you gonna live
then i'll answer that question if i was just gonna say like you know think about and section up the
different chapters in my life they're probably way bigger than five years you know what i mean
like we've been doing this business for six seven years have i mentioned i run a business
and then and then before that we work together for like eight years i feel like for six, seven years. Have I mentioned I run a business yet? Yes, seriously.
And then before that,
we worked together for like eight years.
In a business.
I'm an entrepreneur.
Okay, my apologies for describing my life
on the question of my life,
but those are like completely different chapters.
And so if you were to say five years,
every five years,
I don't know that that's a new, like are things that different? Well, I mean, it'd be like a year if you were to say five years every five years i don't know that that's a
new like are things that different well i mean it'd be like a year when you were as a kid through
about 18 a chapter feels like it'd be every two years that's fair because you got getting a job
getting your driver's license graduating from high school getting a girlfriend you know whatever the
case may be so the chapters just get longer the chapters get longer the older you get it's like
the harry potter books they're really short at first and then the last books
are huge do they get shorter at the end do the chapters get smaller and smaller like like a bell
curve type of a thing right exactly yeah maybe you know like that's when it's like these are
this was the dentures chapter right the bifocal chapter is that the one you're in right now yeah progressive there i'm not quite to bifocals yet that's that's what the name of my next chapter is
mike what's that my next chapter is going to be called uh my new business i feel like um
so i i was going to say the beginning of our run as the footballers
would probably be the chapter, but I feel like there's at least –
The one you're in now?
Yeah.
So we're still at the beginning.
Nice.
No, because I think we're in the second chapter of it.
Of that?
Yeah.
So the previous chapter, so the beginning of the podcast and all that stuff,
I think you could title that –
Because that's like job transition. Yeah, but it's – so we're making the podcast and all that stuff. I think you could title that. Cause that's like job transition.
Yeah.
But,
but it's,
it's,
so we're,
we're making the podcast now and people are like,
but what do you do for a living?
Okay.
I think that's the name of my chapter.
What do you do for a living?
No,
it's,
but what do you do for a living?
How do you make money?
I feel like,
you know,
popular,
you know,
sometimes you,
you come up with, like, popular
phrases or famous quotes or something that can be a chapter title.
I'm going to go with my last chapter title, the beginning of the footballers.
No, I'm going to go with Young, Scrappy, and Hungry as the previous.
That's a good title.
And now it's Old, Fed, and Full. and full old fed and full is the current chapter.
Okay.
You're not just fed.
You're full.
That's right.
All right.
Will from Twitter.
What is the difference between a house a home and a mansion.
Is it features.
Is it size.
Is it both.
Help.
And we are.
This is one of our strengths.
We know the difference between things.
Yeah.
I mean well a home doesn't have a staff, you know?
Well, a mansion doesn't have to have a staff.
You can have a mansion without a staff?
100%.
You can.
Yeah.
You can.
But you know what you can't have a home without?
A heart.
A heart.
That's true.
Okay.
So a home, unless your heart, in which metaphorically-
You mean a physical heart?
It could be physical as well.
Once someone's heart resides in that house.
But what does that mean?
Like that means your heart's in a box somewhere in this house.
Oh.
So you have to literally have it outside of your body?
Or somebody else's heart.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
That's easier.
See, I don't think this is the real difference.
What do you think the real difference is?
I mean, I think the generic answer is that the home is a place that's of warmth.
You know how people move into a new place and then they go,
it just doesn't feel like home yet.
What makes it feel like home is it time.
But they say you can never go home.
Is that a thing?
Yeah.
You can never go home? That that a thing? Yeah. You can never go home?
That's what they say to prisoners.
Right.
On death row.
Sorry, sir.
But remember.
That's an actual saying.
You can never go home.
You can never go home,
which is implying of like
you grow up,
you have all these
nostalgic feelings
tied to the place
where you grew up
and once you leave
and you come back,
it's the same place, but it's not.
I feel like this is really all about love, right?
A house is where you live that you don't like.
A home is where you move in that you love,
and a mansion is when you move in and everyone else hates you.
This is all about love, love and hate.
That's my barometer.
Now, I know, Mike, your parents
still live in the house you grew up in. Yes.
Now, Jason,
your parents don't live in the house you grew up in.
No, we moved around a lot.
Always around the same area.
Not like around the country or globe, but
we had several homes growing up.
So if I said, what's your childhood home, would you even have one?
Oh, yeah. For sure, without a doubt.
And, Mike, when you go back to your parents' house,
does that home nostalgia take over?
Do you ever have like a – like what is your room?
What is your childhood room now?
It's now my father's gym.
Oh, okay.
They have – no, it's straight because they've been there for, you know –
That's a long time.
Like 30 years or so.
We moved into that home when I was in first grade.
And I'm nearly 40 now, so whatever the math is, it's got to be at least 30 years.
And they have since, you know, upgraded things.
And they decide, this is my parents.
Once both me and my sister have moved out of the home, they're like,
you know what we should do?
Let's redo the backyard.
Let's put a pool in.
Let's make it amazing.
And I'm like, what are you doing?
You didn't have that pool growing up?
No, I did not have that pool when I was growing up.
For your whole childhood you had no pool?
They made it for themselves?
They're selfish.
Oh, man.
Selfish monsters.
MC nesting pool.
How long until they converted both of your rooms
to something useful for themselves?
Like don't come back.
After I called them selfish monsters,
I did have to move back in with my parents.
Got to use that pool.
And the pool was there.
I tricked them good.
I'm out of here.
But when I moved back in,
then I was in the sewing room. because my room had already been overtaken.
Oh, really?
So they did not wait around.
So the answer to when did my room get converted was very rapidly.
As he was packing, they had the tape measure out.
They were measuring for furniture.
I moved out for three hours.
Already had a pool table in there.
All right.
I think we nailed that one.
Can you, well, can a mansion ever become a home?
Yes, certainly.
But you have to have a second story.
Do you have to be raised in it?
No.
Okay.
No.
All right.
But second story.
That's my, you have to have a second story.
For a mansion?
Yeah.
Interesting.
That's my rule.
And at least eight visible windows from the front.
Oh, eight?
Yes.
Okay.
At least.
But you don't need a staff?
No.
Brooks, do you have a staff at your mansion?
Yes.
Okay.
You do need a staff.
But he's in a castle, to be fair.
He's more of a castle. All right. It do need a staff. But he's in a castle, to be fair. He's more of a castle.
All right.
It's time to draft.
The Spitballers Draft.
All right.
Well, we are drafting the best space movies.
There are a lot of them.
And Jason gets the very first pick.
Lucky you.
Now, I know that Jason is in a bit of a position here.
He has the very first pick in the draft.
I know that his heart is in war.
Yeah.
Because he could win the draft.
He thinks there are picks that may come more.
You have a pick that's so strong,
you think you can win with it?
Well, there are picks that are more pole heavy.
Yeah, so here's the reality for me.
And then there's being integrity.
I love space movies.
I really, really love sci-fi.
Sci-fi action space movies, that's my jam.
When I'm allowed to just watch a movie by myself
that's what I'm always looking for first that's my go-to that's my primary um so there's a lot
of things I love but I think a lot of the movies that I love are going to be more me specific
I know there's one Mike we already talked about it that I I'm doubting it comes back to me it's excellent but there's a lot of those type of movies so i feel like to play the game here i need to go with
another movie that i do love that would never ever get back to me and it is also a great poll winner
because i'm taking star wars this is space movies um which one yeah i knew you guys there are a lot
of there there are um i assume we're not going to be able to draft multiple Star Wars movies, right?
You can feel free.
Well, you can feel free.
I'm grabbing one.
Oh, I can?
I'll take all of them.
No, no.
But one at a time.
I'm going to go Empire Strikes Back.
Dang it.
I would say that that's the...
I was hoping that would sneak from my first pick.
So if I had taken a different one, you would have drafted Empire Strikes Back?
Yeah.
1,000%.
All right.
Well, there you go.
Well... Because that's...
Yeah, that is the one.
There's a dirty secret about the Star Wars, the trilogy movies, and it's that I really
like Star Wars.
They're okay.
Yeah, they're not all great.
And because I had gone and I did a full rewatch with the kids, getting them introduced to it.
And I remember texting my friends, like as I'm rewatching New Hope, going, oh, no.
Guys, are these movies bad?
Like, what is happening here?
Well, you're really ruining my ability to pick New Hope second.
Because I think.
It's definitely a poll winner.
My point was simply like, once I got to Empire, it was, oh, yeah, here we go.
Now I remember what it was.
We're back, baby.
But, yeah, go ahead.
Draft New Hope.
Well, I was about to.
But the hard part is, yeah, I had New Hope and Empire Strikes Back on my list.
And I was hoping you would take the first one.
But there's...
I did.
There's an...
No, you took the second one.
Well, sure, chronologically.
Do you know what episode number it is?
Yeah, that should be five, right?
All right.
Just checking.
He's always after you, man.
I know.
What, Fortnite over here?
Yes, I'm after him.
Man, that was like two years ago.
Yeah, you'll never live it down.
There is how good the movie is,
but there's also groundbreaking nature to a lot of space movies
things that had never been done um when you talk about sequels and you talk about um you know some
sequels are better than the first one but the first one had a bigger cultural impact when it
came out so but you put me in a tough position because i feel like i'm just chasing star wars
if i go with New Hope here.
You would be.
But you're welcome to do it.
So I'm actually going to – there are so many classics, but I'm going to take one that I'm just afraid I won't get later in the draft.
Maybe it doesn't belong here at number two.
But I know what can come back to me, so I'm going to take Interstellar.
Dang.
I knew that one would not come that's on my
list and i know it's like mike's if it's not his favorite jam man i know i know and with you having
two picks i was just too concerned that you would take it with one of the two and i know some of the
other ones i like are going to get back to me so you interstellar is a great you made the correct
it's a great movie it's so good interstellar is fabulous i choice. You made the correct choice. It's a great movie. It's so good. Interstellar is fabulous.
I have not left very many movies where it sticks with you so strongly to the point of I bought the Science of Interstellar book.
And I had to preorder it.
It bends your mind.
I had to wait for this thing.
Because as much as we can because I mean
you know they're talking about really hypothetical
stuff out there like black holes and things
but they actually tried to
get the science as accurate as possible as
we know it right now. The movie is
tremendous. Yeah it is great. I haven't seen it in too
long. Oh fire. I need to
get ready to weep my friend.
It's a great movie.
Alright Mike you are on the clock for two space movie picks.
All right.
And I will just clean up after you.
Yeah, I mean, there's not really a game to be played on this one.
Maybe one pick in particular.
So I'm just going to take movies that I love.
And since Empire did not make it to me. I'm going to start it off.
We'll go with a quirky one.
One that when I saw the preview.
I said what in the heck.
Is this movie.
And I'm a superhero guy.
But Guardians of the Galaxy.
Is the watchability.
Of this movie.
It's one of those.
Might as well be Parks and Rec.
You can just throw it on over and over and over.
You could be flipping channels in Guardians.
You're like, oh, we're an hour and a half in?
Great. We're 20 minutes in?
Great. And the second movie wasn't anything
like that. The first one,
because the music's integrated,
because of how fun the movie is, it's the definition
of a fun, great space movie.
The first one is superior
for sure, but I really enjoyed the second one.
I can watch the second one over and over too.
I did really like the second one, but the first one's better.
Very, very excited for number three whenever that comes out in the next couple years.
Are they bringing back, like, was it James Gunn?
I think so.
Whoever did the first one I think is coming back for the third.
I believe so.
I believe he's in there.
So then with my second pick, I have no idea.
I have no idea what's going to make it back and what will not.
But now do I just hurt Andy?
Yeah, I mean, he got your Interstellar.
I'm not that worried.
You're not that worried?
No, I mean, I know what one you might be thinking of.
Yeah, all right.
I won't pick just to harm. I'm going to take. You're not that worried? No. I mean, I know what one you might be thinking of. Yeah, all right. I won't pick just a harm.
I'm going to take a really impactful movie.
Look, dude.
I mean, it's got one of the goats.
It's got Mr. T. Hanks in there.
Oh, okay.
I'm going to take Apollo 13, baby.
I just assumed this would be Andy's pick at some point.
It is on my list.
It's a great movie.
This thing, back when you...
The story is
fantastic, but the fact that
when you were a kid and you saw
this, and they actually
shot it in the Vomit
Combat or whatever, so that
when they're in space, they are actually
not on strings, but they are
essentially in zero gravity.
When I was a kid, my little brain just was exploding
as they tried to figure all this stuff out.
So I'm taking Apollo 13.
It was on the list.
I'm going to go with the Empire Strikes Back choice here in the series,
but I'm going to take Aliens.
Aliens.
Interesting.
Why would you take the second one?
Because I think it was a little bit better.
It follows the sequel.
It had more action to it.
It had a little bit more development.
I had Bill Paxton.
Yeah.
Paul Reiser's in that one too, right?
I think it's generally...
Yeah, I think so.
And it's generally the more appreciated of the two.
Most people have that as their favorite. I think I like it a little bit more. But again, it's like the more appreciated of the two like most people have that as their favorite
i think i like it a little bit more but it's again it's like the whole thing of like
it was a brand new concept of the alien but then aliens is a little bit more revered in my head i
mean i know a couple differentiators like bill pax and stuff but for the most part those two
movies are just one giant conglomeration that's the the sign of a great series, by the way.
That's how Back to the Future used to be for me, too.
I couldn't remember where certain parts of certain movies were.
And Indiana Jones, even.
Some of the great trilogies do that.
That's what was so weird about Back to the Future 3.
I can't keep one and two apart in my mind.
There's all these, but then it's like,
or we'll go to the Wild West!
They wanted to make a Western, man. Hey, that's all these but then it's like or go to the wild west yeah they wanted to make a western man hey that's fine they did it um all right i am on the clock uh i so i didn't put
aliens on my list i knew that that would be like a super popular one i never got into it i just i
i know i let me put it this way i think i've seen it like i'm pretty sure i've seen game over man
game over but i don't know for sure that i have maybe that one was just a little too old for me I've seen it. I'm pretty sure I've seen it. Game over, man. Game over.
But I don't know for sure that I have.
Maybe that one was just a little too old for me
and wasn't quite the Star Wars popularity
that made me rewatch it.
It was fabulous. I did
Prometheus when that came out.
Went and saw that in the theater.
We were just talking about 3D movies
but Prometheus
in 3D was actually a better experience. Because they built it about 3D movies, but Prometheus in 3D was actually-
A better experience?
It was an experience because they built it for 3D.
But it's funny because it's in the alien universe.
Universe, yeah.
But you go, so I watched that and I was like, man, I need to watch Alien.
So I go back and I watch Alien and just the hilarity of the tech
in Prometheus.
So much better. This movie
takes place just after Alien.
You're like,
why is the tech running on an Atari?
It's very funny.
Okay.
Man, there are so many space
sci-fi movies here that I love. I'm going to
go... Alright. The first. I'm going to go.
All right.
The first one I'm going to go with is Total Recall because it is an absolute classic. I let it go back to you.
I appreciate it.
We had talked about it earlier, whether or not it was a space movie.
I hate to say it.
I've never seen the movie.
Oh, it's so good.
Wait, I watched it on a plane.
You guys made me watch it.
Yes.
Never mind.
That's Schwarzenegger, right? Yes, it is.
Oh, I have seen them. It is.
It is a... Total Recall
is peak 1980s
action. Was that 80s?
It might have been like
early 90s. It might have been early 90s, but
when a decade is just transferring
over, I'm saying the... 1990
on the dot. Oh, okay.
It had the 80s vibes of there were there's
just certain things that they did in 80s action movies specifically collateral damage of people
who should not be involved in the fight at all yeah we don't do that anymore in action movies
but in the 80s oh yeah if it didn't matter all bystanders are doomed are in danger at all times but that
that movie has always stuck with me so many lines that come from that so many thoughts um and and
it had an incredible ending uh it was one of those movies that like that was that was like the first
movie i watched where i was like whoa at the end i was like i what do i think the end so what do
you what happened what happened in the end of toll recall to you what do I think the ending is? So what happened? What happened at the end of Total Recall to you?
I think it was real.
Okay.
I think it was real.
All right.
That's a great movie.
The other one that I think this would come back to me.
I don't think either of you would take it, but I will be crushed if either of you did.
So I'm not going to allow it.
I'm just going to take the one that I absolutely want.
It's Serenity.
I was going to be so upset at you because I'm not going to take the one that I absolutely want. It's Serenity. I was going to be so upset at you because I'm not going to draft it.
But if you didn't, Mr. Firefly, draft it.
That's the movie from the series.
I was going to crush you if you didn't take it.
Rightfully so.
And I didn't even wait for last because I couldn't go without Serenity.
That movie and that series, so unbelievably good.
If you haven't watched Firefly, watch it.
I have not.
It's a quick, you would love it.
It's super quick because it's only one season.
How much is different from the season and the movie?
It's actually incredible what they did.
I thought it bled together.
It kind of like they mixed and matched.
Some of it was the same and some of it was completely different.
Even storylines of what the main arc is like some of it was the same but
things were completely different it was like a brand new story using what they liked from the
show so jason has star wars empire strikes back total recall and serenity mike's got guardians
and galaxy and apollo 13 and i'm sitting here with interstellar and aliens it's got Guardians and Galaxy and Apollo 13, and I'm sitting here with Interstellar and Aliens.
It's not bad.
And just in case Mike gets the impulse to destroy me in his future picks,
I will take The Fifth Element.
You talk about a movie, like you just said, like Guardians.
Corbin. Corbin.
Corbin, my man.
Corbin Dills.
Corbin.
Corbin.
Corbin.
Corbin.
There are just something about Fifth Element Fits the mold like Guardians does
Where you could watch it a thousand times
And it's got enough to it
Big battle boom
Fifth Element
I just love that movie
The music is awesome
The fight scenes are awesome
The settings
All of the costuming
It's great
But when I saw it in the theater, I was like, what?
It didn't work.
I did not get it.
Gary Oldman is the bad guy.
It's talked about a lot, but whatever.
So we'll mention it on here, but just how crazy it is that the protagonist and the antagonist never actually meet in the movie.
They never meet.
No.
There's like a brief moment where they almost catch each other in the hallway
of the hotel spaceship.
Oh, I remember that.
Yeah.
But they never actually meet.
That's incredibly cool.
It's like this weird quirky story thing that they have.
And it had so much like nuanced sci-fi stuff.
It's a great universe.
I have to take it because
it's a classic that I love and a great space movie.
It's fantastic.
I like it. Final two picks for Mike.
I know what I'm going with.
I know what...
There's one that's
a type of a poll winner, but
I'm not going to draft it because I don't truly like it.
But we're going to start off these back-to-back picks with...
We're going to go with an animated movie, my friends.
Oh, interesting.
Okay.
We're going with WALL-E.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
WALL-E is a masterpiece from start to finish.
And you have a movie where i don't even know it's like the first
25 to 30 minutes of the of the movie doesn't even have dialogue they're just able to tell
this story with this robot on the deserted earth before he eventually meets eva and so there is
dialogue in the movie yes i think i quit about 30 minutes in it's like a museum to jason get out of here right you've
seen wally i have seen the first 30 minutes of wally you are a clown a clown you haven't seen
the whole of wally are you just are you doing a shtick for the for the show so are you really
haven't seen wally i didn't want to bring this up but i don't you know i'm a man for the people here
because this paints me in a very poor light to be the people in wall that part was great
that part was fantastic um but no I was like I was super bored and I just assumed there's
no words the whole movie so I went on did something else that is unbelievable looking
for any of these picture shows I get regular full movies nowadays. Oh, man.
Wally is a masterpiece.
Wally is your pick, Mike.
It's all yours.
The story visually, it is incredible.
And from one masterpiece of the animated genre,
we're going right to another masterpiece of the comedic genre.
Oh, okay.
We're taking Spaceballs, baby, because it's one of my favorites,
and I can watch Spaceballs over and over.
Your shorts is as big as mine.
This is one of those comedies where you can hit play,
and I could probably recite 80% to 90%.
I didn't realize you loved it that much.
Oh, my gosh, man.
It's so good.
That is peak Mel Brooks.
Yeah.
Or Dark Helmet.
But it is peak Mel Brooks before Darth Helmet? Yeah. Or Dark Helmet.
But it is peak Mel Brooks before the jokes start. Slapstick.
Yeah, and I love slapstick.
But the later Mel Brooks, I mean, they're still very, very funny.
But they're recycled jokes.
You got used to it.
Let's comb the desert.
You remember that?
Yeah, of course I remember.
But that was before the jokes had started fully recycling themselves,
and it was the first time you'd seen them.
Oh, my goodness.
Spaceballs.
And it still holds up.
It's on my list.
It's one of the best satires of all time.
All right.
Well, I'll keep it nice and boring.
But, look, this was going to be probably the first pickoff for me
before Jason stole Empire.
But I'll go New Hope.
I'll take Star Wars and New Hope to close out my draft.
It probably should be taken.
I still think it's very, very close to Empire Strikes Back and that universe, those movies,
so much better than those later ones that they came out with.
At least the first three.
I like-
Or I guess you'd call them, yeah, episode one, two, three.
I like seven through nine.
Seven through nine are much better.
And I get that seven is just New Hope redone.
Yeah.
Don't care.
It was awesome.
It was awesome.
And then you have the big turn in the middle of the movie,
which no one saw coming.
It was fantastic.
And then Rise of Skywalker is, like, that is an Empire's greatness type of a movie.
And I know that...
Some people felt that way about the third...
No, people...
Are you thinking Phantom Menace?
No, no.
Episode three.
Yeah, but people gave number two so much crap
that they changed a bunch of stuff for number three.
And I get the ending for...
Well, nine, technically nine.
And it's very unsatisfying at the end.
But I still find them enjoyable.
All right, so Mike's final team, Guardians, Apollo 13,
WALL-E, and Spaceballs.
Jason has Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Total Recall,
Serenity, and one final pick.
Then I'm with Interstellar Aliens, Fifth Element,
and Star Wars A New Hope.
Jason, close us out oh so many good options i could go galaxy quest which i do love it's him alan galaxy quest i just showed that to my kids i i actually genuinely love it it's not gonna make the cut and
then i'm really between two the other one that's not gonna make the cut which i love is stargate that movie was phenomenal no i don't i mean it's
not like a current modern popular movie by any means i'm gonna go with one that um i i think
when this movie came out i was like that is an awful movie like this was really not that great
was it because you were too young for it i don't think i was too young i think i was just kind of not watching it to just enjoy it you know those movies it's like okay it's a
popcorn but you were expecting more yeah i was expecting i wanted like some cinematic masterpiece
and and so i was like too snooty and i watched it oh yes uh over and over and over i've probably
seen this movie 50 times because it's another one where if it's just on, I'll be like, you have my attention.
You're just fun to watch.
And it's Armageddon, baby.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean, that cast, it's just fun.
It's not a great movie.
I'm not up here standing on a soapbox being like, Armageddon's one of the greatest space movies of all time.
Who made Armageddon?
It's not Schumacher.
Brockheimer?
Was it Brockheimer?
Michael Bay.
Okay, that's – yeah, yeah.
Slow-mo.
Slow-mo.
Well, it's slow-mo.
Like, everything is insane.
Melodramatic.
Everything is – like, you have just quick cuts all over the place.
Like, hold on, Michael.
Oh, Brockheimer, too.
Yeah.
Should we slow down and have more story?
There's no time.
There's no time. We must get to the next scene. That was Brockheimer and Michael Bay. Oh, on, Michael. Oh, Bruckheimer, too. Yeah. Should we slow down and have more story? There's no time. There's no time.
We must get to the next scene.
That was Bruckheimer and Michael Bay.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Directed by Michael Bay, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer.
Oh, man.
You know what you get when that happens?
You get Armageddon.
You do.
Just.
All right.
Well, a couple that didn't make the cut that were close.
You could have gone Alien, the first one.
Alien was on my list.
Gravity is a great movie.
It's very solid. I thought that was outstanding it was overrated uh it might have been
overrated uh is and then arrival did you guys see arrival with charlie sheen no no no no no no no
the more recent one with um did they remake it i think i did see arrival with amy adams amy adams
yeah that movie's outstanding i did not see that one. You have not seen Arrival.
It was like Contact to me.
94% Rotten Tomatoes. You should
check it out. Okay. Did you guys like
Contact? No.
I understand why you're
comparing those two. That makes perfect
sense. Contact was a little too...
You could have said that about
Interstellar. Some people might not have liked Interstellar
for the same reason. Overcomplicated. A little long. But at least in Interstellar. Some people might not have liked interstellar for the same reason. Right.
Overcomplicated,
a little long,
but at least in,
in interstellar,
they didn't have everything building up to this particular climax.
And then the machine they spent,
I deliver bill.
It,
it,
it gets destroyed.
They're like,
don't worry.
We've secretly been building a second one that you had no idea we were doing.
That is garbage.
It is absolute garbage.
On my list, have you guys ever seen Sunshine?
I never saw that.
Sunshine is like one of these indie movies that is very, very legit.
The movie I was referencing that is like a poll winner, 2001, Space Odyssey.
You know what?
I finally watched that for the first time.
Brooks had recommended it when I was sick.
Oh, wait. I recommended Close Encounters of the Third Kind. That's the one. Oh, okay? I finally watched that for the first time. Brooks had recommended it when I was sick. Oh, wait.
I recommended Close Encounters at the third time.
That's the one.
Oh, okay.
I always confuse those two.
Sorry.
Close Encounters is the one I watched, and it was good.
I feel like Brooks is more of a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy type of guy.
Which, you know what's better?
The book.
Oh, come on.
But then to close, I'm going to list independence day is on here oh wow just in
just in case i guess independence days would count so i didn't put independence day on mine
because they're fighting on earth it wasn't really a space movie even though it dealt with aliens and
i'm if you had drafted it totally allowed but it was off mine for that reason and then uh armageddon
wasn't really a space movie yeah traveling really are traveling and working in space.
In Independence Day, they fly up to the mothership.
But a lot of Armageddon takes place in space.
More than Independence Day.
Okay, maybe a little bit more.
And then my final shout out, much like Sunshine, another independent movie,
if you have not seen it, I fully recommend Moon.
I've heard you recommend that before. I have not seen it. That looked recommend Moon. I've heard you recommend that before.
I have not seen it.
That looked a little creepy.
It is.
That's the whole point.
It's very bizarre.
Do you guys remember Red Planet with Val Kilmer?
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah.
The robot goes crazy.
Why don't you guys take the Martian?
Yeah, I mean.
It was all right.
Mars is cool.
I do like Mars.
I love a good Mars story.
Nah. Damn. Mars is cool. I do like Mars. I love a good Mars story.
Nah, damn.
Ghost of Mars.
What did we learn today?
That Jason hasn't seen WALL-E, and it's ridiculous.
I've seen some of it. I learned that the statue of David is very big.
Don't stop this again.
You ruined mine.
I was going to say, David's not the biggest compared to all the others out there.
Dave Lincoln.
Dave Lincoln's taller statue.
A much taller statue.
Never know what this show is going to bring your way.
Thanks for listening.
Staying with us.
Goodbye.
There'll be another episode soon.
Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast.
To see what other nonsense the guys are up to,
check out SpitballersPod.com.