Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Chest Plates & The Best Logos - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

Spit Hit for May 25th, 2023: Listen in to hear all about Jason’s new “gym” that he “works out” at. We also talk about walking pains, freak feet, and chest plates. We then do some ‘Highway To Spell’ and wrap up the show with a draft of the best logos. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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slash locations. Tire Discounter Group. Tired Discounter Group dot CA slash locations. Tired Discounter Group Tired Discounter Group dot CA Hey Spitwads, today we got a special episode for you. You can listen in and hear all about Jason's new gym that he works

out at and we also talk about walking pains, you know, they're like it's like when you run except for when you when you just walk like a normal person. And freak feet and chest plates and all sorts of fun, including some highway to spell. Enjoy. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?

It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Rat-a-tat-tat-tat, bing, bang, boom. Oh, man, super jazzy. Oh, man. Super jazzy. It said bing bangity boom. That would have got it going a little bit. No, I actually.

You like the pause? I appreciated the pause. I appreciate that you allowed a little bit of space in your scat. Because usually the scat just is-stop go until you realize you're at the bottom of the hill that you just fell down. Where we're scatting, we don't need time signatures. No, we don't. This is episode 182 of the Spitballers, so look, there's 182

scats or about there. We're scatting in 732. No big deal. Just mixing it up a little bit. Great show for you today. Got a review we're going to read. We got Would You Rather, Highway to Spell. Oh, no. Is that real?

I didn't. You didn't process that. No, I did not process that. I knew Jeremy just gave the rundown, but I don't listen to him. Right. Wow, that sucks. Is your computer muted? Yes, it is.

Okay. We're drafting today, too. To go backwards real quick, you guys have a better memory than i do and i'm speaking to mike um did we start scatting right off the bat no or that that came in it was a probably about five or six episodes in it was a pretty impromptu thing i think it was in the 20s okay it was it was a ways Yeah. And then there was a conversation followed of like, we all had been doing it in our heads. I don't remember who did it though. Remember how we stopped scatting after the 182nd episode?

Yeah, I do remember that. We need a spitballer's historian. A what? A spittorian. A spittorian. Someone to log the annals of this incredible... I'm not logging any annals. That's for darn sure.

Who came up with that word? I'll put together the first scat, and I will tweet that out once the show airs. The annals of time. The annals of history. How do you spell that word? Let me see. I think it is A-N-A-L-S. No, it's not.

It's not the anals of history. Oh, is it two N's? Yes, it's two N's. That's what I said. All right. I have so many places I could go. Warming up. None of which I will.

At Spitballers Pod on Twitter. At Jason FFL. At FFHitman. At Andy Holloway if you want to follow us. YouTube.com slash Spitballers to watch the show. Let's read a review. Review-a-saurus rags. This one comes in from T-Word2015.

Five stars. It says, brain expanding material. Yeah. I don't know how you guys keep getting better. Andy, Mike, and Jason are by far the best hosts around. Relatable, funny, and sometimes dumb. Okay. Wait.

That part is not true. That's fair, though. What? It's their review. They can say whatever they want, but that's not true. The show has it all. I feel like my brain has expanded threefold due to the rationale behind would you rathers and great questions. I started with the fantasy footballers and I was in on the ground floor of

the spit ballers. They should all change their last names to Midas because everything they touch seems to turn to gold. That's a very self aggrandizing review. It is your favorite kind. And I appreciate it except the we we as a society maybe this is an american thing okay the midas afraid no no that's the midas touch everything except the story of king midas and his wish or however he gets the power of turning everything to gold is in fact

a cautionary tale against greed because everything in fact he touches turns to gold, including food and his children. Oh, man. That sounds pretty cool, though. I mean, pretty cool. Actually, at the end of that story, if you remember, the lore was that he then started a complete and total car care company.

Oh, that's right. He did have the Midas touch. Yeah. Are they a brake company or they're full service Mike full service service do they create all of their car parts from 24 karat gold no unfortunately not plate them you know what I mean like a nice paint job that's I'm not sure it's false advertising gold doesn't really would it would it hold up in that situation all right gold's pretty strong though right I right? I think it's a soft metal.

Okay, I don't know. This is the dumb part. This is the sometimes dumb. I thought it was actually kind of hard to say sometimes dumb. Okay, yeah, you run it over there. Now I'm very confused. Although gold is very strong, it is the most malleable of all metals. See, that's what I thought too. I thought it was

strong, but... Strong, but weak. Its greatest strength is its weakness. Gold. That just means it can be shaped without cracking or breaking. Yeah, so you make it hot and then you shape it and it doesn't crack and break.

Correct. That's probably one of the reasons it's popular, right? And the shiny. Because it'd be formed into, and it's rare, and it can be formed into things. When did this happen? What is the history of gold? You're like, no, that one, that's the one. That's the one that's super valuable.

Well, I mean, you could say that about anything. Silver, diamonds, emeralds. I mean, it's rarity. It's the most justifiable economic system, though, is it not? You go find something that's rare and exchange it for goods and services. Yeah, I think gold is the standard. Let's call it the gold standard. But why do we want it?

Is it just the human existence like well not everyone can have it so i must have it yeah a little bit yeah i mean at this point it's just so stupid we follow the crowd it makes sense because you can't just like i can't just exchange a giant object for another giant object right but i'm I'm saying... That's impractical, Mike. But gold does nothing to the survival of a human. Well, neither does a yacht, but I'd still want one. No, but a yacht is at least, it's comfortable

on the water. What are you talking about? I survive on the water because of a yacht. So you're saying to you, an economic basis should be its usability? Like an independent function. I'm just asking some questions.

I was rich, but then I ate all my money because it served a purpose of nourishment. The human race, we're strange. Well, that I will not argue with. We do weird stuff. And let's get to some more serious matters. We do weird stuff. And let's get to some more serious matters. Would you rather?

Joshua from the website writes this one. He says, would you rather be able to teleport anywhere, but once you get there, you feel like you've walked there, or be able to walk anywhere, but once you get there, you feel like you've teleported there. Imagine a teleportation. No fatigue fatigue yeah but you have to walk you do have to walk there but you do have the fatigue on the walk right you just lose it when you arrive i don't think so yeah that would be that would be too easy to answer if the walk was fatiguing itself you're saying you walk anywhere and you have no fatigue ever no No fatigue. It just takes time. The constraint is the time.

Yeah, exactly. Or instant, but when you're there, your feet are killing you. Ooh. But that would be potentially devastating. Because if you said you were going to teleport to, like, right now, I want to go to Mount Everest, the base of Mount Everest. You would just collapse. Yeah, you would wake.

When you come out of the teleportation, you might have like broken legs or something. That's also just a really bad idea. Like, I'd like to teleport in a volcano, please. But like, let's say we teleport to work. Okay, we live, you know, a 15 minute drive from the studio here. You wouldn't be too bad then. You wouldn't be too bad then.

Oh, man. If I, in my current oval shape, were to walk here, when I got here, I would... You'd be fine. My feet, I would saw them off to be free of them. Oh, 100%. How do you survive? You need to go to one of those running stores and get your feet shaped. Oh, hey, I've got a story. Okay.

So this pertains. I want to know why this happens. All right. So today I went to the. That's not a story. That's a question. Well, the story will present a question. The story is simply this.

I went to the gym today. I've been trying to go to the gym, work out, get my fat butt in shape. A different shape. A lot of people want a fat butt. I'm just going to throw that out there. I've got the badonkadonk. You can have it if you could take it. So I go and I've been doing the elliptical for 45 minutes. We play pickleball, two hours of exercise. So today I went on a machine I have not been on in maybe ever. It was called a treadmill. Oh, yeah. And I put it on a walk.

I put it on a brisk walk. Nothing more. Hold on, hold on. Is that a preset brisk walk? Yeah, that was my question. Is this a number that you have decided is a walk or it has a brisk walk. Nothing more. Hold on, hold on. Is that a preset brisk walk? Yeah, that was my question. Is this a number that you have decided is a walk or it has a button that says brisk walk? No, I put it to 3.5. That was just my number that I put it to.

And you can't jog this. Out of 10? It is too slow to jog. I don't know. I never went higher than 3.5. So you got it on a brisk walk. Let's go. I got it on a brisk walk, but it is a fast walk.

I never went higher than 3.5. So you got it on a brisk walk. Let's go. I got it on a brisk walk, but it is a fast walk. And I could not do my, the front of my shins burned so bad that I was doing everything in my power to make it to 10 minutes of walking. I couldn't do it. Now, hold on. Let me color this in a little bit.

When we used to work out together, the number one thing that you had an issue with was your feet and your shins. Yeah. And we would do certain exercises and you'd complain about your feet and your shins. I mean, I literally was like, I'm using the handles, like the rails on the side to prop myself up and I'm walking. So who wants to tell them? Wait, is there an answer to this? What is... You are deformed.

I think the answer is that. When's the last time you went on a walk? Outside, like around the block. Take the dogs for a walk, something like that. We've been going on walks. I walked to dinner the other night with the family. So it was over a mile. And I was fine.

Hold, wait, hold. There are so many things happening right now you walked to dinner yeah where did you go uh no mcdonald's i figured i i'm allowed to eat it if i walk there you ubered home didn't you um no but i went to sushi at kawaii if you want to know shout out not a sponsor you walked there though yeah yeah we We walked there. By choice. By choice. For exercise. For activity.

But my shins didn't hurt. But this brisk walk. Was it on an incline? No. No incline. I just, I don't understand. But I guess it's just a matter of, like, if I keep my legs moving at a, like, I don't get any breaks, they terrorize me.

The pain was insane. And I felt so stupid because I'm walking on a treadmill. I don't know. I don't know why your shins hurt. What's worse for you, Andy, on a walk? Not a walk. Walking to a destination. Time or pain?

Not pain ever. I could walk for a long long long long time so it's only the time that's it no fatigue at all we're not really a walking city no but i've been i did a lot of like in a new york like if you take a visit to new york uh are you more of a like uh we could get uber or like now let's hoof's hoof it. It's only 10 blocks. It's just the time. The time is the thing that dissuades me from any, that would dissuade me from anything like that. Because like this last week, I was recovering from surgery.

I had nothing to do. I figured walking is going to help a little bit. Went on lots of long walks. I don't get tired from a walk. It's just like if you were trying to get somewhere, it would take a long time. So if you were to walk to the studio, you would be completely fine. So now you just have teleportation to work.

Yeah, you do Disneyland. You walk in Disneyland. Do your shins hurt in Disneyland? My feet hurt so bad. I had to like. Oh, really? You're telling me you escape Disneyland without feet pain? None.

Wow. What? You are a machine. You should be tested for by science. I told my wife, I go, this is crazy. We did three straight days in both parks, back and forth between the park. I never felt a problem. I had to get some insoles immediately after day one.

This was quite the detour. Yeah. I will tell you an embarrassing story about walking that i did on this trip let's go all right so since i had nothing to do recovering from surgery i was walking around and then for for whatever reason i thought you know what a great destination is is culver's yeah of course and it's on a public road so like i go up to the main road and then i walk a long ways on a main road where lots of cars are driving by. And I would walk all the way to Culver's and get a gigantic ice cream sundae.

Yes, as one does. And then I'd walk while I eat the sundae. I do the whole walk back. Okay. Which I feel like is probably a strange sight to see a grown man in the middle of the day eating a giant sundae like his life depended on it, might I add. Spoon or bowl or cone? Spoon. So that makes it even weirder to me.

Right? You're using both hands walking down the street. I felt ridiculous. And I am going to town. I mean, it's a big sundae. I've got to do some work. And, you know, chocolate syrup and everything. What's weirder? A guy walking or a guy standing there? It's a big Sunday. I've got to do some work. And, you know, chocolate syrup and everything. Sure.

What's weirder? A guy walking or a guy standing there? Like, just standing on the sidewalk eating a bowl of ice cream. No bus stop in sight. Just standing? No, just staring out in the traffic. At the crosswalk. Light is walk, but he's just watching traffic, eating his ice cream. I should have taken a few steps into the empty field and just stood there eating the ice cream.

Don't look at me. I'm hideous. The police would show up. It just feels like you really do instantly erase any benefit the walk could have produced for you. That's the suckiest part is exercise burns no calories. That's one thing I've learned. I mean, it does.

But I'm just saying to burn off a walk, if you want to eat a Big Mac, you're going to need to walk for 52 miles for the equal caloric burn. Do you have this gym you're going to? Is there a pool? There is. There's a very fancy pool. It's heated. What makes a pool fancy?

Just the heat. That's the only difference. Regular pool, heated pool, it's that's the only difference regular pool heated pool is just just all water right it also has a giant water slide whoa whoa hold on hold on sound like exercise there's a water slide like it's a lap pool and there's a water slide there's a lot of pool parts to this there's is this a pool is this for the kids yeah that i mean that's the slide part is for the children. Have you considered going down the slide while eating ice cream?

New goal. In the gym. New goal. In the gym, water slide, going down, eating ice cream. B-Y-O-I-C in that gym? Full banana split. Oh, man. This gym, no joke, has a full bar.

I'm not kidding. What? No, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on what yeah i went with him the other day and i was shocked that you want a cash lobby and no like on there's drafts on tap it's a full bar what yes now i know why you joined this gym yeah i've been working out five days a week honey they also have also have a restaurant, which that's great. I like eating it when I go to the gym. That's my goal. Hold on.

My mind is just exploding right now. They have a full restaurant? A full restaurant and a full bar. So the banana split thing is very possible here. I don't know if they have a banana split, but they have some. Is this a country club? It's trying to be a country club. It's a gym that's trying to be a country okay no golf yet um uh also just you know send me the information yeah and and and also just want to

check it out the answer is of course teleportation if you pay the gym oh you'll take that you'll teleport and take the pain? Of course I will. Yeah, that one's... That doesn't mean I have to teleport. If I get the... Honestly, I'd always teleport to the hospital

in the city I want to go to. Right. That way I can get just the help I need. Send me to the burn unit. And now all I'm thinking about is paying that monthly fee for that gym

just to go down the slide over and over again every day. I'm here for my... I'm here for my 10 slides. Is there like a... How many reps do you... I did 12 reps down the slide over and over again every day. I'm here for my 10 slides. Is there like a – How many reps did you – I did 12 reps on the slide today. Three sets. Three sets of 12.

Three sets of 12. Yeah. I did some down on my belly. Yeah. Some face first. I wanted to work the chest, so I went head first. Okay. No.

You need to bring two dumbbells to the slide. I want you down the slide doing dumbbell curls. Dumbbell? Dumbbell. What did I say? You were definitely saying done. Oh yeah because I'm done with them. Hold on. Tell us the truth. Did you think it was

dumbbell until this very moment of your life? Honestly I didn't think about it. I just said it like I've said it. So I probably said it that way before okay um are you not doing teleportation i'm going to walk man but it feels like you were instantly there but your time is still gone i don't well i understand that but it's like where am i gonna where will i actually teleport no this is i'm gonna i'm gonna prove you wrong right now. Let's go. You get this power. Are you walking to work? No.

What's the point? Because I got a car. What's the point of it? Wouldn't you rather teleport to work? I'm with Jason. I'm not with freak feet over here. If I walk seven miles, my feet are going to be a little achy. Let me ask you this. You've got to go to the bathroom right now, Mike.

Would you like to teleport there or walk? Oh, I didn't think of small distances. Yeah. Oh, I would teleport everywhere. I would wait. In his house. When I'm at a restaurant and they're guiding me to the table, I would wait. I'd just watch and wait where our table is, and then boom.

I would teleport there. No more walking in my life just the way the the waiter turns around and you're already there yes i just can't why you would ever use the walking one if you wouldn't even walk to work what situation would you use it and that would benefit you i'm not sure but the the idea that i can walk forever and and and feel no pain pain is very interesting to me. Okay. All right.

We'll just leave it there. Matt from the website, would you rather punch a sheetrock wall full force or get punched in the chest full force by one of your co-hosts? Okay. I'd rather punch the sheetrock. I've got a question. Yeah. Sheetrock is not drywall?

It is drywall. It is. Sheetrock is- Just tell me where the studs are, and I'll punch that wall. Yeah, I mean, this isn't a two-by-four. This is a pretty layup question. Do I have to gamble on the studs? Yes.

Oh, okay. I can do a little knock-knock on the wall. Yeah. What if you don't get to... No, I mean, I'm assuming it's a... Even if you can't... You just have to blindly swing. Even if you can't knock-knock, you have a very good chance, at least in Arizona homes where they spread out the 2x4s

a little bit wider than they're supposed to be. You've got a higher... It's every 12 feet. Yeah, but I'm saying... 12 feet? I'm saying Arizona. Yes. I'm punching...

Your odds are very low that you're going to break your hand on it. In the worst case, you break your hand. Well, that is a worst. And when I'm punched in the chest, this is not the belly. This is like my heart. Where are you punching me? Your chest plate. If Jason punches you in the chest.

I'm in trouble. Yeah. Like you could. That would be really, really painful. I guess I'd probably prefer him to punch me in the abs. Well, sure. Up or down. Just not in the middle. Not that solar plexus area. punch me in the abs. Well, sure. Up or down, just not in the middle.

Not that solar plexus area. Knock me out. Yeah, I mean, the reality is, worst case scenario with the punch is you break your hand. And that is a worse scenario, I think, than one solid punch to the chest. I think we can all absorb one. It's not going to be fun. It's going to hurt. We're going to hate it.

It's going to be sore for days. But it's not going to be in. I don't think any of us with one punch would you can definitely crack somebody's ribs with a punch to the chest right well not to the chest to the ribs definitely what what do you think is in your chest your ribs that's your rib cage the front that goes right here what i'm touching those are ribs that's not a rib. Well, not one. How do you think they do heart surgery? Open heart surgery, they crack ribs open.

There's a chest plate. That's not a rib. Nobody has a chest plate unless you are a paladin in World of Warcraft. Okay, when I Google chest plate, there's a lot of armor. Yeah. I don't see. I want you teaching a class. Chest bones.

Head and shoulders, knees and chest plate. Oh, those are all ribs. Those are definitely ribs. Okay. Learning something. Uh-huh. All right. Yeah. They go around the front.

They sure do. And to the back. Yeah. But in my defense. Hold on. But I got to. What is, in your mind, what is there? What has been there?

I think what I see is like. Like a shield. In my mind is a little tiny. Like think of like a. A bone shield? Think of like a small superman logo not like the load but like that's that shape of a of a bone and all the ribs come to that and apparently i'm looking at skeletons that yeah but again in my defense they do come together to a

a like more solid bone your sternum sternum that's what the chest plate is is a chest plate a sternum it's not that big no no's not. I thought it was way larger than that. You could break a rib punch at someone in the chest. That's for sure. Thank you. Okay. I'm dead. I'm dead.

Wow. Boo-doo. Oh, Stankface wants to know, would you rather spend the night in a shady motel in a bad area or in your car parked in a nice neighborhood? Stankface, thank you for your question. Stankface. Thank you for your question. Stink face. What was the question? Spending the night in a shady motel in a bad area or in your car parked in a nice neighborhood.

I am taking the latter. I think I am too. Getting reported to the local HOA by Karen will not be a problem for me in my car. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. I don't think so. No.

Have you? No. Okay. I never have. It sounded like you were going to tell us how bad it was. No, I don't think it'd be a problem. I think it would be a nightmare. No, backseat.

No, no, no. Here's the deal. I'm taking this a step further. Okay. Well, this is... It's a motorcycle. That would be a good step forward, but my step forward... If you're on a motorcycle, are you going arms crossed?

I think you'd have to lay forward towards the handlebar, like head on the handlebar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and tell me what you were. You're upping the ante. My ante-upper was that it's your family. It's not just you. You're all sleeping in the motel in the bad neighborhood. You're in the captain chair.

Or you're in the driver's seat or the passenger seat. To be honest, the family makes me more confident of the nice neighborhood because the truth is I'm more worried about possible dangers and i wouldn't be concerned about danger if i'm in that neighborhood other than having somebody tap tap tap on the glass and say go away okay as opposed to if i'm in a really bad place i would be more worried about my family's well-being so if it's seems better to sleep in the car in the bad neighborhood rather than in the hotel. Just so you quick getaway. I don't think so.

Quick getaway? You're already in the car. Why can't you be in the good neighborhood? No, no, no. I'm not saying better than that. I'm saying better than in the hotel room. He's thinking you're stuck in the hotel room when somebody's coming to get you. No, I don't want to be in the car in the bad neighborhood.

That seems worse of all of them. Mike, do you have an answer here? I can't sleep on a plane, really. And that's essentially what you will be in. But maybe in this bad neighborhood, there's some gunshots. There's somebody accidentally knocking on your door, you're hearing sounds outside, you're going to sleep through that? What kind of mattress

are we talking about here? The sheetrock's got a punching hole through it. Wait, the mattress is the sheetrock? No. I mean, I guess the mattress is springs. I mean, this is a thin spring mattress. This is not a nice... Oh, that's not much better than sleeping in a car. No. No, it's a shady motel mattress. It's a thin spring mattress. This is not a nice. Oh, that's not much better than sleeping in a car. No.

No, it's a shady motel mattress. It's not clean. That's not all that's on the mattress. Do I have a blacklight? No, thankfully no. No, and don't check underneath it either. Yeah, you want bed bugs? No, I'm definitely staying in my car.

Oh, I didn't think about bed bugs. Yeah. Have you ever had any? I have a friend who found bedbugs. Bedbugs in your car? Those are car bugs. Yeah. You have a friend who had bedbugs, and you want to talk about them?

No, no. I just, you were asking. Yeah, have you ever had any interaction? Because that sounds. With a bedbug? Yeah, that sounds awful. Yeah, that sounds like an nightmare. Because you cannot get rid of them.

That sounds like how I think of lice. I feel like people can't get rid of lice like you know how i think of lice like i feel like people can't get rid of lice yeah it's much worse than lice i've never dealt with either but they sound horrific we have to fog the room or something yeah you have to i think you have to like bomb your house for we did the lice thing once where the kids came home they got lice oh check everyone checked me like, dad's got it. And we wrapped like we went when you shaved your head. No, no.

But like, I think my brother in law did that. It's like that was his response. That's such an easy thing to fix it. Yeah. For yes. If you could shave your head and you're fine with that, that would work. At the time, I had really long hair. But like, I mean, we bagged everything up and you it was it's

not that's a nightmare it's not an easy thing when you start going through everything can you get them in your beard uh those are you get lice in your beard those i believe are called crabs are they really i don't okay i dude i have no idea you ever use dumbbells before? I don't know. Oh my gosh. Head lice may also live in the eyebrows. What? No. Beard and eyelashes.

Nope. Nope. Eyelashes? Nope. That's when you go ahead and fog your whole head. That's a put your head in the room. See you later. Oh man. Eyelashes? If I had lice in the room. See you later. Oh, man.

Eyelashes? If I had lice in my eyelashes. Can I be honest with you guys? I don't really know what a lice is. It's just a tiny little bug. It's a teeny tiny bug. Now, why does it like your hair? It's in the... I don't exactly know.

Because you're telling me it can live in your eyelashes. Why doesn't it live on my cheek? Or on my forehead? Why only hair? I don't know. Because they're telling me it can live in your eyelashes. Why doesn't it live on my cheek? Like, without the... Or on my forehead. Like, why only hair? I don't know. Because they hang on to it? That's a very good question.

Because lice feed on tiny bits of human blood, and the hair is just a place where they can hang on. Wow. There you go. And that is, of course, answering the myth that head lice prefer dirty hair. That is not true. I've heard that. What about, like, if you got a real serious back hair situation oh they could live they can hang on there they just need anything

to hang on to so fully shaven the whole body yep you're gonna that'll get rid of it gotta go like a nair bath a nair bath that's one of the cures all right let's move on highway to spell oh shoot how many of these have i won in a row you've won four in a row which is why you will be starting one grade harder than everybody oh yeah all right let's go well that's unfortunate the people love it can i does that mean i get one grade below actually don't ever do that don't i have way more to lose if i'm starting a grade below and i still am first do i have to start first you do so i might just fail to start it off all right go ahead we typically start at sixth grade so you'll be starting at seventh grade today oh boy, boy. I'm getting a handicap, gentlemen. Thanks a lot for sucking.

Hey, you're welcome. You're the tremendous speller. All right, go ahead. Atmosphere. Oh, I know this one, right? Atmosphere. A-T-M-O-S-P-H-E-R-E, atmosphere. That's easy.

That is correct. Wait, where's my chime? I'm getting there. Where's my chime? I had the wrong board pulled up. I got you. Thank you. All right. That is correct. Wait. Where's my chime? I'm getting there. Where's my chime? I had the wrong board pulled up. I got you. Thank you. All right.

Atmosphere. Why you give him the easy ones? All right. Hip hop anonymous. So back to sixth grade. Mike, your sixth grade. This better be a sixth grade word. Here you go.

Spaghetti. Oh, man. That's so much harder than the seventh grade. Are you kidding? I don't make the list bro spaghetti i've got mine spelled in there there's hold on there's a is this do you think this is right i think i have it i just know that this one's a little i think a little funky all right oh please be wrong this is great i like this new format hold on hold on we got. We got it. We got it. Your seventh grade word is America. All right.

Spaghetti. S-P-A-G-H-E-T-T-I. Ooh. Yeah, I would have got a two for the record. No, you're... Okay. Take credit while you can. Exactly.

The stress that that just caused upon me is unnecessary. I hate this game. You should move on to my grade level. My heart is hurting. All right, Jason, your sixth grade level word. Scientific. Okay. Ooh, okay.

Hold on. Scientific. I think this one is easy. All right, let's hear it. S-C-I-E-N-T-I-F-I-C. Scientific. Oh, we all got through first round. Any more brain busters?

All right, Andy, you're on to eighth grade. Oh, great. Equilibrium. He said that dumb. Yeah, he did. Equilibrium. That's better. Equilibrium. equilibrium that's better well what i just wrote down has a zero percent chance of being right no words do what i just wrote oh gosh there's some problems here i i'm i'm a little worried. E-Q-U-A-L-I-B-R-I-U-M.

And I'm not confident. Yeah. What? It's not equilibrium. I threw myself off. It's E-Q-U-I-L, right? That is correct. Yeah.

I answered too quickly. I should have given myself an extra second there. I had the... Did you have it wrong, Mike? I had it with the I first. Yes, so did I. And that's exactly what I did. And I said, no, that's wrong.

So I had it with the U, but I had an A at the end. Equilibrium. No, you have an A in the front, though. That's wrong. Yeah. Wait, what? It's not equal, like A-L. It's I-L.

I had it right. I wrote it right two times, and then I wrote it with an A, and that was wrong. That's why, and I just went forward with it. I was trying to see the movie poster. Actually, I'm not out. Well, you're not out. If Mike and I both get our words wrong, then you are back in. Yeah, that's right.

But from my understanding, seventh grade words are the easiest. Which pasta do I have next? Pen A. All right, Mike, here's your seventh grade level word. Exhibit. Oh, come on. Now it's over. Is this the rapper?

X going to give it to you. Is that right? Oh, come on. It just looks wrong now. It's probably right. Exhibit. E-X-H-I-B-I-T. Okay.

Thank goodness. I had it right. Okay. So now, Mike,I-B-I-T. Okay. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. Okay. So now, Mike, you win if I get this wrong. Yeah. If you want to throw it, there's a two-ski. You win with an asterisk. Go on. All right, Jason, your seventh grade level word? Psychology. Come on.

It's done. It's over. It's over. How many minutes do I get? My money offer is retracted. You have 30 more seconds. What's the word? Psychology. Okay, all right. Oh, man.

All right, psychology. Oh, that was wrong. P-S-Y-C-H-O-L-O-G-Y. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. Now the asterisk will go away if we get past the grade that you went out on. Right? You'd have to give the asterisk up then.

That's fair. Dude. Andy would not say it. Andy knows. His eyes are saying that he is a man of honor. He just won't say it out loud. That's fine. We accept your...

All right, Mike. You're on to eighth grade. Here's your word. Perseverance. Oh, no. That's a pretty tough one. Oh, no. There's some options in that one.

Oh, no. I don't know if you have the perseverance to... I could literally spell this word 50 different ways. There are 50 ways no way there's there are so many places to put extra vowels i mean there are so many how many r's how many is these or a's or oh man come on let's get to high school boys you can do it there's no way hold on i'm gonna write it out one One more. Yeah, I wrote it once. I've got my shot.

Sir. No way. Yeah, I mean. No way. Impossible. Okay. What? Okay, perseverance.

Do it. Take your shot. P-E-R-S-E-R-V-e-r-i-e-n-c-e nope i heard an ie in there and i know that ain't part of it there's no i i'll spell it slowly p-e-r okay s-e-v-e-r-a-n-c- Oh, baby! I would have got it right! Yes! So I edited it. You put in some new sounds. I've always said the word perseverance.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's perseverance. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So if Jason gets this, he gets a fair win. I get a fair win, yeah.

And if you don't... Then you should be back in. Wait, was I right? Other than my one letter that I added? Andy went out the previous round. Yeah, but he was at this grade level. Correct. All right.

Let's see what Jason does. Here's what I'm going to do for the Spill Watch. Knock it out of the park. I'm going to nail this. All right. Here's your eighth grade level word. And you know he'll take a win no matter what grade level I'm set at. Vivacious.

Say what? What? I love it. There ain't no chance. Wait. level word and you know he'll take a win no matter what grade level i'm set up vivacious say what what i love it there ain't no trance wait what was the word what vivacious that's not a word vivacious sure say it a different way that's i mean vivacious vivacious is how you say it oh my gosh well that's get ready get back in my people. People say it, vivacious? Yeah. Vivacious. Yeah, that's how I know it. That first one sounded like a the. Okay. You going first shot?

Let's do it. I'm going first shot. Let's do it. Vivacious. V-I-V-A-C-I-O-U-S. That's what I got. Do it. That's what I got. I'm the smartest man alive.

Give it to him. Hit the crowd, yep. Is this my first victory in How to Spell? It's got to be. Oh, this is my favorite segment. I love this segment. So good. Do you want to do it every single time?

No, I would rather quit the show. The Spitballers Draft. All righty, we are drafting the best logos. The best logos. And I'm looking forward to this one. I have a logo that jumped out to me as the best, and I have the first pick. So that should be a good position.

I don't think it's everybody's number one, but I think it should be, and I'm going to try to persuade you into that. um it's also interesting when you say you're drafting the best logos there are a lot of things that you might qualify them as best in your mind it might be iconic it might be longevity it might be the the actual mark the art the design, the simplicity. Could be the nostalgia, the feeling. To me, there is a clear 101. I agree. And it belongs here because its utilization is broader than some of the other picks. And it's more iconic than any of the other picks.

And it is 100% McDonald's. Yeah, it's on my list. The McDonald's golden arches are the singular best logo in the history of the world it is so good that you just put it on the end of a giant pole and you see it from anywhere and it represents something and that's not what happens with almost any other logo out there yeah and it's just it's a singular mark it's one color it's one shape to me the mcdonald's golden arches are the best logo ever created i mean you don't have to convince me to like mcdonald's so yeah i mean this is not a uh but that was not the one i understand i know what the consensus

number one might be for other people i do do not know. I just know what my- Let's hear it. McDonald's is very high up for me as well, but I'm also a brand snob for a particular brand. Of course. And that's going to be the general 101. Is it really? Oh, for sure.

Yes. Oh, okay. Well, I will take the Nike swoosh. Yeah. The Nike swoosh is what I think a lot of people would answer. Absolutely. The Nike swoosh is the I think a lot of people would answer. Absolutely. The Nike swoosh is the 101 to me. It's similar to the Golden Arches in its simplicity.

Yeah. You see it. I mean, you see people walking around, and it sends the same message that a- Yeah. It says, my shoes are better than your shoes. Yeah, and you two are the ones that- You wear Nikes, right? You're literally drinking from a Nike cup right now.

Hold on, hold on. Let me set this up. You wear Nikes, right? Yes. And you can't walk on a treadmill for 10 minutes he doesn't work out in nikes i bet and you can't even true you don't not always okay yeah so i just i don't know you're you're trying to downplay the logo here look i wear nikes i just do and i do it for the fashion purpose i like them. Yes. But I think it's one of those things where the brand has amplified everything about.

It's amazing because you see this with kids, right? Kids see Nikes or they see people wearing and they want them. And you do not evaluate the shoe whatsoever by how it feels. You do not evaluate it whatsoever by whether this has given me the best support or helping me. And maybe they do. I mean, I'm not saying i wear a lot of nikes they're very strange because look i am a i am a sneaker head i have i don't even 70 plus pairs of nikes of nike sb shoes and there are some that are like these are unbelievably comfortable yes and then i and they're all

the same size right and then i have some where i'm like i only wear these because i like how they look they are killing my pinky toe right now if you got some sort of disease that made your feet grow a little bit more as an adult you'd be in trouble oh yeah oh yeah all right um that's that's what i tell my so my son oh he wants the nice shoes but he is no like he's a full sneaker head like crazy really i i don't know because i'm not i i've not been that way he is obsessed with sneakers he has like an app where he's always looking at sneakers he's got a what's his brand uh nike is his go-to but um he's got a savings right now he's saving up up for, like, he has a sneakerhead. And my biggest hesitation is a year from now, you can't.

These are a decoration. You can't wear them if your feet grow. Yeah, you don't get to be a sneakerhead until you've grown up. You're older or you're younger? Yeah, Jason's older. Okay. Well, at least you can pass those down. Oh, good point.

Good point. Thank you. Don't tell him that. That's right. We'll just steal them. All right, so I went McDonald's, Golden Arches, Mike, appropriately, the Nike swoosh. You should feel, I mean, I gave you your brand, man. We'll see if Jason takes what I thought you were going to take.

Okay. Okay. Jason has a couple of picks. I have a couple. I have two in a row. And honestly, I'm a little disappointed that these are my next two highest. And this is my second and third. And I think I'm going to take them together.

The problem that I have taking them at the same spot in the same turn is that they are so similar. Are you taking two cars? I am taking two tech companies. First is the Apple logo. That what i thought andy would take apple is it's very iconic it's very iconic it's updated through the years but it stayed the same kind of you know one of those like yeah yeah 20 years ago the apple logo you can still see it in the current version and did it have color back then uh the old one the old ones had like the rainbow yeah they've gone back and forth from color to no color but um and i'm also you know an apple snob uh the way

that you're a nike snob um so that to me is it's it's classic um the next one you know i gotta go with this really yeah i mean, this might be surprising. This might be the first one where it's like, the logo sucks. You know what I mean? Like, the swoosh is cool. The golden arches are great. The apple's iconic and classy. This one is uggs. So before you take your second pick of the best logos draft.

Yeah. Your take. Okay, go on. It's super ugly. But it's unbelievably iconic. It's super ugly, but it's unbelievably iconic. It's its own. You can make anything out of this logo. It's the Google logo, which is Google.

It's just the colored Google word. It's just a font. It's just a font and a color scheme, and you could say Jason in that color scheme, and you know you know you could say jason in that color scheme and you it just you know it's google what it is and when google came out man we're old we're old enough to like remember all the different search engines and then when they came out it was so different and their logo because it was just that like all the other searches were like a million different things and even today you go to google and it's like here's a search that's it it says google as a search usually and so okay that you got you got two tech companies

yeah apple and google mike you are back on the clock okay a number of choices out there i am i am torn between two uh and i was gonna follow the heart here because of like we laid out at the beginning. There's so many different factors that you can go into. What makes a logo great to you personally? And a logo is art, so it's very opinion based. But this one is just it's so it's so simple. I love minimalistic art. It's so on the nose.

GM. No, itistic art. It's so on the nose. GM. No, it's Target. Okay. The Target. Target. Ah. It's just like, and I guess like Target is become one of those stores. Probably my wife's fault, but it's like, well, what do you want to do?

You want to go to Target? Like, I don't know. You're like, okay, that's dark. You never know what you're, you never know what you're going to leave with when you go to target, you're going to buy something you definitely do not need. You'll buy probably a hundred dollars worth of stuff. And the one thing you went there to buy, but it's just to me as a, a, it's a warms the soul of like, it's really American capitalism at its finest of me feeling good about going to Target because I'm going to spend money and fill the hole in my soul with goods that I don't need. All right.

I like it. The Target logo is a good one. I'm excited about my next two picks. One of them is absolutely associated with just a good feeling right you see it and it's just kind of it's got its own it's the word i'm looking for there almost like an atmosphere or a feeling to it yeah um and that's the coca-cola logo yeah i you see that and there's just something they've really got you they have created created this whole environment of this is good, old-fashioned American.

You feel safe. You feel secure. Have you been to the Coca-Cola store in Times Square? I'm sure I have. Yeah, it's huge. I mean, they have just a million things. Coca-Cola themed, the bears and everything. I think they also have one in Las Vegas.

But it's a wonderful script, custom logo font. And they cheat. I'll tell you why they cheat. Because they essentially created Santa Claus. Right. And they have done such a good job of branding Santa with a Coca-Cola. That's what you feel. In the back of my head, I don't think about it until now, but it's like, yeah, Christmas

is also related to Coca-Cola, and Christmas is the best time of the year. So they have done- They do the commercials with the polar bears popping the Coca-Colas. Those people, those Rapscallions, they've done a really good job. It's a very warm feeling. They cheat because their logo, it just has the Coca-Cola's. Those people, those Rapscallions, they've done a really good job. It's a very warm feeling. They cheat because their logo, it just has the Coca-Cola in it. It's like a picture of their product almost. I mean, some of the logos.

Yeah, it's a font. It's the Coca-Cola font. Also, Andy, if I may, your logos are delicious. Yes. McDonald's and Coca-Cola. Because you got the yellow and the red? I've gone to people's houses where they love, like the Coca-Cola brand is so powerful

that they'll just decorate their bathroom with Coca-Cola stuff. I have a Coca-Cola art piece in my little TV room. All right, I'm going to go a little off the beaten path maybe. I don't know. Maybe you guys will. Oh, no, you're going to take what I wanted. I don't know if I am or not. I think that the MBC logo is outstanding.

I probably would have taken it next. The peacock, colorful feather. I guess they're technically like a peacock feathers, right? But it's colorful. It's no words, right? It's just the mark. And that mark means, you you know and now you associate you associate the sound with it but i like the color and i like how simple it is it fits in a

little box as an art guy i like how that shape works and of all the you know there's there's like different genres like sodas or cars or tv stations mb NBC's is by far the best. I mean, you know, they've launched Peacock as a whole streaming service based on that logo, and it is gorgeous. It's a good logo. It was first used in 1956. But that was not the off-the-beaten-path one

I thought you were going to steal from. Do you realize why they debuted that in 1956? I do not. It's interesting. It's because they were debuting and highlighting the network color programming because they were finally having color oh that's interesting so it's like hey let's show that we have colorful tv let's add the peacock logo i'm trying to think through the the big networks yeah cbs cbs has a logo but abc

and in fox are like abc has a logo it's the circle with the letters in it well it's not very good apparently and the nbc's had the olympics for so long so you associate the logo with that but all right the other one the uh the other one don't get the other logo that i was thinking about and this is similar to like coca-cola where now when you see it the endorphins start running because every single morning Andy the first thing that we do when we get out of bed is we have ourselves a cup of joe and coffee is now synonymous with starbucks so I will take the little mermaid lady I hate their logo you do it's super pop I mean you see it and you know what it is but

then and that's more what i it's not necessarily my favorite art style because i said i like simple i like target the swoosh but when i see the starbucks logo the it's it's those those endorphins start firing that's how they get y'all you're oh, I could get a mocha. Yeah. All right. This draft were... Caffeine and some sugar. ...were specific to iconic, then that is a home run pick. Best is a little bit more subjective, and I don't actually like the logo. It's so busy with that green lady. It is a very busy logo. But you do know it instantly.

Oh, absolutely. So they did a good job there. Yeah. Two picks for you. All right. Here is the off the beaten path. I love this one. Let's go.

Totally off the beaten path because it's not even real, but it's certainly a logo. It's not real. It's one of the best logos ever made. It's the Jurassic Park logo. Dude, it's real. I mean, it's a real logo in a movie. I mean, it's a shield. Yeah. I mean, it's a real logo in a movie. I mean, it's a shield. Yeah, I mean, if you...

I never would have thought of that in a million years. Honestly, I was looking up best logos, and when I saw that, I was like, oh, that logo means something to me. It does. I see that, and I'm like... I'm a kid watching a movie about dinosaurs. Yeah, there you go. Very interesting.

I thought for sure, Andy, when he was going off the beaten path and he's like Mr. Jurassic Park. Yeah, I mean, I was staying in the lane of the brand logos. Yeah. If the draft was best brand logos. Which I think it was for me and Mike. Yeah. To be fair, at this point, Jurassic Park is a brand. That is true.

You can buy Jurassic Park. We have Jurassic Park logo. There's the logo right there on our set. With the new one coming out, is that... Oh, I'm not contending it doesn't exist. Is that six movies we're up to? Too many. Yeah.

And too few. That is true. That is really true. Too many. Also, I would love them to keep... Jurassic Universe. I feel like that was just so outside the framework. But I don't mind it.

I don't mind it. Yeah. I accept my pick. like that was just so outside the frame work but i don't mind it i don't mind it yeah i uh i i accept my pick um the last one is going to be similar not in the is fake but it's in the same genre jurassic world of entertainment and movies but the pixar logo okay okay so i let the lamp the animation you know what i mean like this is the only logo that i can think of of all of our Pixar logo is to me. Okay, okay. With the lamp? The animation. You know what I mean? Like, this is the only logo that I can think of of all of our pics where it's like, when you view that logo.

You know the sound. You know the... Absolutely. You know the animation. Yeah, all right. And then it just finishes at that logo. I love the Pixar logo. It's simple.

Interesting. It's classic. It's got character, and it means something to me. So that, to me, is one of the best logos. That's not even remotely on my radar, and I don't mind that. All right, so for my last one, I'm again torn. This is my last pick, right? Yes.

Okay. Torn between two of them, and I'm being pulled towards one oh jason's cackling i'm cackling at uh owls message of which logo okay i'm not gonna look at it yet uh and if this maybe this uh warms my heart because my father would bring me here all the time because we would get slurpees. But 7-Eleven, it's so, somehow it is so simple, and it's a weird mixture of colors. That's a good logo. But when you see those colors together of, like, the red, the green, and the orange,

like, oh, yeah, that's 7-Eleven. Nobody else is going to do that except for 7-Eleven. And with the number and then the word written through it. Yeah, that's 7-11. Nobody else is going to do that except for 7-11. And with the number and then the word written through it. Yeah, that's an iconic one. I don't know. I like seeing a 7-11. You're like, what? I feel like I don't see 7-11s anymore. You don't see them as much anymore.

I can't think of a 7-11. You can't? I cannot think of where one. Check the Shady Motel. Could you guys right now name where a 7-11 is? No cannot think of where one. It's a check the shady motel. Could you guys right now name where 7-Eleven is? No. Deer Valley 30. I was talking to the hosts on the show.

Yeah, please be quiet. What about Deer Valley 30? Okay. Yeah, you got one. You got one. Okay. Good call, Mike. All right.

Yeah, that's a good one. That's iconic. And when you were a kid, you would ride your bike to the 7-Eleven. Yeah, that's great. Get a soda pop. That's true. Final pick. So for my final pick, there's so many logos out there, a bunch that I like.

Maybe we'll mention a few afterwards. But I'm actually going to go with the NBA logo. Oh, the West. With Jerry West on it. Yeah, that's the best of all of the professional sports logos you are correct and as much as we're nfl guys with fantasy football the nba logo has the iconic you know jerry west built into it the players on it you know the nba the nfl shield is just a shield right you don't have anybody playing. And when people want to make a new logo for a sport,

they imitate the basketball one. Put a video game controller, silhouette it out, and then it's in red and blue. Yeah, the silhouette is pretty solid. You instantly know, oh, this is a sport, and you can fill in whatever you want there. All right, so that does it. Jason with Apple, Google, Jurassic sport, and you can fill in whatever you want there. All right, so that does it. Jason with Apple, Google, Jurassic Park, and Pixar.

Mike with Nike, Target, Starbucks, and 7-Eleven, and I've got McDonald's, Coca-Cola, NBC, and NBA. Now give me one that you didn't draft but you just kind of like. A free agent? Yeah. A free agent pickup off the wire? I would go with the FedEx logo it's a good look and the reason i go with that is because of the hidden arrow in it i always once i saw that good too yeah it's a fine

logo but once i once i was pointed out that they purposely negative space an arrow in that logo in the negative space you can't ever unsee it yeah uh. Mike? The other one I was torn between because I think it's the coolest car logo is Volkswagen. Okay. You like the VW? Yeah. And Brooks throwing out the MTV logo. That's on my list as well.

Al throwing out the Mercedes logo. Oh, yeah. What? That's the Tri, right? Yeah. It almost looks like a piece. I'll throw out one from childhood. The Hot Wheels logo.

Oh, that's... With the orange and the flames coming out of the car and the old hot wheels yeah i thought about visa too it's just so classic yeah it's everywhere you want to be yeah what did we learn today oh i know what i learned i know what i learned uh it's apparently persevere yeah and i learned that you don't have a chest plate. You have ribs that come together in your skillet. And I learned that I am beatable at Highway to Spell as long as you handicap me.

Congratulations, Jason. Thanks. You must feel good about yourself. I do. That's a good logo on your shirt there, too. Oh, man. The Fantasy Footballers-inspired logo. We'll see you next time, everybody.

Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.