Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Eerie Thoughts & The Best FroYo Toppings - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Spit Hit for May 11th, 2023: On today’s show, we talk about chicken fights, sudsy surfactants, and ploofing in public. In the Situation Room, we talk about eating contests, eternal life, and joining a reality TV competition show. We put a cherry on top with a draft of our favorite frozen yogurt toppings! Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Are you scared? Because today's spit hit has some eerie thoughts and we are drafting the best fro-yo toppings. Hide the kids, this one's getting nuts! What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Oh no, here we go, let's go, we're here! Yes! You got what you wanted.

We did it. We did it. You got what you thought you wanted. Fire off the confetti cannons. We did it. We're scared of all time. That you. Tell us the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

You thought you wanted me. I got what I wanted, baby. Unprepared. And then you got it. And you're like, I regret all of that. Nope. I regret nothing. That was incredible.

Oh, no. Here we go. It was a great start for it. Thank you. And then we went, oh, no. Here we go. Something about here we are. Well, I mean, eventually.

You run out of the pre. Jason was 100% surprised, and I want to go on record here. Welcome to the Spitballers, episode 162. I did not start the show. I did not hit the button. What? I thought you did. Al Borland hit the button.

You dirty man. Oh, I knew I didn't like Al Borland. It was not me. Oh, you're a monster. And you could see the smile across the room. Oh, man. This room is brighter right now because of how happy al borland is after last week where uh i was very disappointed in my scat but because it was just uh who's got the scat mike like it was very fast

so i was part of the uh jason was like oh i have i have the thing today and it's all good you go someone needs to start the show so i'm very very happy that someone was worse than mine from last week that was like being walked in on in a bathroom where my pants are down and someone just walks through the door and i'm very unprepared for this. Oh no. Oh no. That's what it felt like emotionally. But seated. Oh yeah. Seated. So I'm getting, there's nowhere I can go. I'm getting that side leg. Yeah, I've seen it. Side leg and side cheek. Oh, and you hope that's all you see. Um, would you rather the situation room and a best fro-yo toppings draft on today's episode? Goodness gracious.

Thank you so much for supporting the show on Apple Podcasts. All your subscriptions, reviews over there. I guess they call it following now. So when you follow on Apple Podcasts. You click that little plus, right? That's right. And then magical episodes show up in your feed. The plus.

I click a plus to follow. That is correct. It doesn't say follow. I don't think so. No, it's just up in your feed. I click a plus to follow? That is correct. It doesn't say follow. I don't think so. No, it's just a plus. Yeah, but they're calling it follow. Smash the plus. Wouldn't it be add?

Add us to your friends list. It's whatever you think a plus is. Add. Okay. That's what it is then to you. That's been established for a long time. I mean, mathematics has said that that's what that means. Well, good.

You're adding, but then it says follow after you hit it. It says you followed them. Okay. All right, I'm there. I figured it out. We have two shows that release every week now. We have the brand new episode on Mondays. We have a Spit Hits episode on Thursdays.

Hopefully, everybody's enjoying that. The website's spitballerspod.com. And I talked about the following, subscribing, and the reviewing. And we're going to read a review right now. Review-a-saurus regs. This one comes in from Just Sims from the United States. Five stars. I may be allergic to this podcast.

Every Monday morning, I wake up with an eerie feeling that my day is about to get a whole lot better. Thanks to Andy, Mike, and Jason, this podcast will make you laugh, make you cry, and make you question just how far human achievement can go. Be prepared to discover a few new allergies and make a few new best friends along the way. Well, thank you. I am glad that someone has finally recognized what we are doing for the advancement of humans. And for the advancement of Mondays in general,

because Mondays can be a bad day not anymore also have you ever described in a feeling as eerie when you think something good is about to happen no eerie is universally a very bad okay I was making sure I didn't necessarily bad, but just like murky. Well, like just negative. Just not good. I'm not saying it's bad. It's just not good. That's a good question to start the show. Is eerie always negative?

Yes. Eerie is always negative. So if you came out, let's say you walked out of a cabin and there was a mist and a fog, and you're like, man, I got an eerie feeling right now. You better get back in that. If you come out of a cabin and there's mist and you have a bad feeling or I'm sorry, an eerie feeling. I put words in your mouth.

I'm sorry. Thank you. You get back in that cabin immediately. Oh yeah. You're not being like, man, I've got an eerie feeling. Let's go frolic in the fog. Okay. Wait, hold on.

Owl Borland is trying to tell us that it's not negative no i was just giving you an example like i was just talking about my friend and then he called me on the phone that was kind of eerie oh that's that is a way you would use that but you're saying that it's it's eerie because it doesn't make sense like something is off yeah no okay we're back jason's on track the only way the eerie is off is a good way to put it. Yeah. The only way the Erie is not negative, if it's like, he called me from Lake Erie, then it's like, okay, this is neutral. Or Erie, Indiana. Right.

But if it were good. That's why ironic. If it were good, you would say something feels on. Not on. Just to be clear. Okay. If I had a feeling that I had won the lottery and then someone called me and said I won the lottery, would that be eerie?

No, because it's good. Okay. All right. We're moving on. Would you rather? Aubrey from the website, would you rather wash your hair with dish soap or wash your dishes with shampoo? Interesting. Okay.

Not a would you rather I've ever thought of before. But important. But it's important. Why are we spending so much time in this show discussing viscosity-related oils and bacon grease and now two different types of soaps? I don't have the level of acuity to understand the differences. You can't understand the difference between dish soap and shampoo. Well, let me start here. Explain the difference to me.

Yeah. I want to hear your words, orator of the land. All right. Shampoo is a sudsy soap that is made. So far dish soap that is fragrant in delicious in delicious ways dish soap is something that breaks down grease and oil specifically like hair grease and oil i mean sure it can and they'll smell good but that's not made for it. I mean, do you want to smell like lemons, or do you want to smell like fruits and berries? Which one?

Which one is the dish soap, and which one is the shampoo? The dish soap is lemons. You know this. Not always. Yeah, no, definitely not always. And I have 100. I've had a mandarin orange dish soap and a mandarin orange shampoo before. I have definitely used citrus- citrus smelling like body wash and shampoo

how dare you shame us citrus what are you talking about do you want to smell like a a fresh clean lemon scent of course i do what are you talking only berries for me you have not described anything differentiating these two objects but he has openly mocked me for not knowing the difference between them. I mean, the difference is clear. I'm doing a bad job explaining the difference. I guess we are getting back to viscosity here. Right. Because.

Which one's thicker? The thicker one. Shampoo. Is. He's going to say dish soap. He was going to say dish soap. I was going to say this so for sure i think this soap's definitely thinner because this soap's here here this soap is made to

dissolve in the water and create bubbles not to like shampoo but shampoo is not made to fully that is supposed to dissolve no i don't think it's dissolving i think dish soap is made to be diluted you know what i mean like one part dish soap to two parts water i want to i want to tell you something right now i definitely can't decide whether i'd rather wash my hair with dish soap or wash my dishes with shampoo because i don't know which one would do i feel like they'd both do a fine job i'd rather not have the chemicals in my hair now which one which one? From the dish soap. I worry much more.

The dish soap chemicals. What chemicals? Oh, you know, the chemicals. What chemicals? Potassium microhydrochlorozoanine. Shampoo is full of chemicals. Sure. But those chemicals are made for your hair.

One's made for dirty dishes. Are they the same thing? They're not your hair. One's made for dirty dishes. I've got the answer. Or are they the same thing? They're not the same. They're not the same thing. No way. That's like you saying, you know, WD-40 is the same as olive oil. Different chemicals, different compounds.

Well, olive oil is not a chemical. That's true. I mean, well, everything is chemicals. What I mean is like you have very like certain chemicals that you use to clean or break things down, right? Like a spray that you would use to clean a kitchen table, right? Like a bleach spray? Well, not necessarily a beach spray, but just like a counter-cleaning spray. Sure.

That's not something you would spray on your hands and wash your hands with. Right. No. Because they're made strong? It's made to break down the bonds of the food i think it's because i i actually think it is because the photographs on the bottle show counters what if it was all the same it's all all of it's always been the same well let's say that it's not all the same. Maybe it is, in which case it goes with whatever smells better. But if it's not the same, and I believe it is not, then you have to err on the side of caution. And the side of caution to me is not which one is in my hair that shouldn't be in my hair,

but which one is on something that I'm ingesting. Like if I put shampoo on my dishes and the residue is there and I'm eating off of that, I'm ingesting something. I'm not worried about no residue. Well, I am. So you can drink all the shampoo you want. So the word on the street is that the big difference is in pH. That's what I've been trying to say. And that dish soap will fry your hair long term.

So if you did that, your hair's toast. Oh, no. Oh, no. Is my hair going to go away? Have you been using? Yeah, how long have you been washing with dish soap? Yeah, that's the question. Wait a minute.

Dawn is not shampoo? I thought I was supposed to use it in the morning. That's at dawn. Right. I mean, I wake up, I use dawn. It says it softens my hair. I will not destroy my head with the chemicals. Yeah, I guess.

I will take a shot that it will sanitize my plate. Before I knew that, I was going to land with, I have smelled shampoos that are overwhelming I can't recall A dish soap where the fragrance Was just you were like oh Someone put this away The fragrance

Did I say fragrance? Yeah we're not going to let that Slide on this show Oh the fragrance is overwhelming Jason and I made Made eyes of a FWIGWINTS. Well, we're mature. All right.

My R sound just vanished. Yeah, it was just straight up FWIGWINTS. Suffer wings, suck a twish. Someone saw Space Jam 2 recently. Yeah, that's what it was. So I don't know how you were going to go. I'm definitely taking the dish soap into the hair. Okay.

All right. John from Patreon, congrats. It's pronounced hill. Hill. Congrats. Your farts no longer stink. Oh, man. Thank goodness.

It's never been a problem, though. Now you get to choose. Would you rather be able to pick a new pleasant scent for all of your farts, or would you rather they be completely odorless? Okay. Okay. Like lemon. new pleasant scent for all of your farts or would you rather that they be completely odorless okay okay like lemon well i would prefer berries but um you know to each their own you it's it's an alert it's an alarm that somebody has yeah what if we all had unique individual like a patronus from harry potter oh yeah we each have a positive, but unique scent for all of our farts. Right.

So, like, Jason's known as, you know, boysenberry. Oh, man. Number one, we know they're not eerie. No, because it's pleasant. Because it's pleasant. It's good. But would it really be pleasant? But what if it was a random draw?

Like, you get spearmint over there. But I'm saying. No, Mike's got a good point here. You're breathing someone's innards and you know it. Yes, I'm smelling a fart. I know it smells good. I think the reason we- But that's poop.

That's poop particles. Look, you only associate that with a bad thing because of the smell. Because the evolution of your body has said that something's wrong. If all poop and farts smelled good, you wouldn't think that you're getting something gross. No, that's not true. Otherwise, you know, oh, let's use this as lotion. No, it's poop, no matter what it smells like. Wait, everything that smells good,

your first thought is I need to moisturize my skin with it? No, I'm just saying as an example here, Andy's saying that if it smelled good, we wouldn't dislike it. I think that's factual. But we still know the bacteria that we do now. You wouldn't think it's gross because we know bacteria grows on gross smelling things. If the men in black came in here and went, and you've only had pleasant smells with your poo.

We wouldn't even call them farts. We'd have a different nice name for them. Yeah. Like ploofs. Ooh, that's pretty nice yeah i ploofed yeah oh man nice ploof bro oh that's a strawberry ploof oh man jason dropped another spearmint ploof well done bro why are we bro-ing out over ploofs? Ploofs is a pretty soft term.

I mean, that's not... Can you... Yeah, I feel like you would have to name your own fart then. Oh, everyone gets to name the onomatopoeia of your fart? Oh, yes, yes. Mine would be more like a pluff. You're a pluff than a ploof? Yeah. Oh, you got the M in there.

A ploof. I'm a...uff than a plump? Yeah. Oh, you got the M in there. A plump. I'm a mump. That was what my mom was. She's more of a mump. Al Borland would be more of like a cedar wood. Oh, yeah. It would be so manly. It would be a musk.

A nice musky ploof. I prefer sandalwood but oh sandalwood okay he'd be like a shrump i know brooks brooks would overwhelm his own ploof smell and it would be apples you know it would smell like a fresh apple orchard but back to the question is it better to have a sweet plump or just you can get away with it? You know, if you can stop the sound, nobody will ever know. Well, no, I'd rather have the smell. They lose part of their power.

If they have no odor at all, they don't exist. Right. It's like if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it. Yeah, if someone. Farts would fail to exist. If someone drops a butt bomb and it doesn't smell, you do have the sound. You're still going to hear it.

That would be really exciting for me. Is it then far more allowed and appropriate? Not appropriate, but allowed. Not on the poop particle argument. No, you've got a good point here, Mike. A burp is more socially acceptable than a fart. Because it doesn't come out of your butt. That's

one of the big reasons why. If a burp came out of your butt, then it wouldn't be socially acceptable. No, because then it'd be a fart. I call that a butt burp. Which you should call it that because you don't mouth burp. That's right. So you don't know

which one of yours is a burp gone fart or a straight fart. Burp gone burp. Burp gone burp. Alright. Alright, So you don't know which one of yours is a burp gone fart or a straight fart. Burp gone burp. Burp gone burp. All right. All right. We better move on. I'm going odorless. I'm going nice smell.

Mike? I'm going with the nice smell. Ryan from the website. Would you rather always be pulling a trailer everywhere you drive in your vehicle or only be able to ride a motorcycle? Oh my gosh. Could I be the safest motorcycle rider in the world sure no like no i don't think you can be no like a big someone is so out there right now of motorcycle drivers somebody is in fact the safest they go a little bit slower than everybody else. What is that?

Is it the Pixar movie with the big inflatable, the white character that I'm thinking of? Baymax? Baymax. Big Hero 6? That could be my outfit. Oh, so you're already in your airbags. Yeah, I'm basically in one of those blow-up bubble things. Now, would you have a sidecar?

Oh, that would make it safer, so yes. I feel like you're larger. Then I'd put some walls on it. I'd have two sidecars, left and right. Yeah, put some walls on it, put a couple seats in the back. That's right. A couple of doors. I'd change out my handlebars for a wheel.

That's right. I'd need to be able to roll up windows when it's getting rainy. That's my kind of motorcycle. What was the other option? You have to pull a trailer everywhere? Sounds like a nightmare. That is a nightmare. Have you ever pulled a trailer?

I have pulled a trailer. Because I have never done it. I've never pulled a trailer either. I have had one opportunity where back when I was in a band, we did a show in California, and I refused. I refused to be the one who would drive and try and park this. And then my bass player at the time, we got to the gig. Stress out of his mind?

Yeah, and he had never done a trailer either, but he's one of those just too nice of a guy where I got aggressive. I'm like, I'm not doing it. He's like, okay, I'll do it. And the Austin powers back and forth that this man had to do to get the trailer anywhere close to the parking spot was like, that's exactly why I am not doing this because it is embarrassing. And I'm going to smash someone else's car the parking situation is literally the worst part i think once you're on the road it's fine whatever you're you're a little longer but

every single time you gotta know to slow down sooner do you yes jason wait is that true yes because you have a lot of extra weight and it takes longer to stop okay but it's not it's not like the things on a bungee cord is gonna hit you it's just no no you will run into somebody else well that's like saying if i got a lot of cargo in the back it will fly forward and hit you that's 100% what happens it's called momentum i still stand by that the worst part is the parking is not the driving because every time... It doesn't matter.

Can you go through a drive-thru with a trailer? No. Oh, yeah. I'm out. That was an easy question. Can you go through on a motorcycle? Oh, yeah. Where do you store it?

Wait a minute. Oh, man. I've never seen a motorcycle on a drive-thru. I've never seen a motorcycle on a drive-thru. There's motorcycles that have... There's side a motorcycle on a drive-thru. I've never seen a motorcycle on a drive-thru. There's motorcycles that have, like, there's side storage. Put a little basket on front. But you can't actively. You can't eat it while you're driving.

Says who? Oh, man, that's hard. I will say this. I've got an electric scooter. Says motorcycles. I've got an electric scooter, right, where, you know. Oh, you can't take your hand off of that thing. You can't.

No, you can't. It's unbelievable. It's impossible. You have to have two hands you think you could ride with one hand and like hold the mail in your other hand you can fall with one hand you sure can now this made me think of something what because you could you could you have to be able to drive through on a motorcycle you're legally allowed yeah what what is the smallest vehicle you could go through a drive-thru in like would it count as a tricycle type of thing because they they would not like that they say they will not serve you if you're on foot i don't you can't buy i don't believe

most places will serve a bicycle what about motor powered then they have to you can do a golf you can do a golf cart can you yeah yeah i can for sure have you golf carted through a drive-thru i haven't yet but if someone wants to for science give me a golf cart i will drive through every drive-thru and and count whether they serve me or not but stilts don't count right it's gotta be powered it's gotta be motorized that's the rule so if my rollerblades have a motor on them? Then you're eating it. I mean, you'd never get to that drive-thru, buddy.

You're going to be on your back quick. Okay. All right. Can you get pulled in a wagon? Like the person in the wagon gets served but not the puller? Ooh, loophole. So you're saying maybe I'm in the trailer and a vehicle is pulling, but they drive past the window and you order. The problem is you can't get that trailer into the actual.

Oh, yeah. We can't take trailers. We haven't decided that. We got back to the beginning. I guess I'm just riding a regular old motorcycle. What kind of motor? Are we all on the motorcycle side? Yeah.

Okay. So now the more important question, what kind of motorcycle would we choose? A safe one. Okay, so you're on like a Goldwing Honda. Yeah. You're on like a big, wide one. Yeah, a big traveler's one. I think if I had to ride... With like a tent in the back.

If I had to ride a motorcycle, I'd go crotch rocket. Would you? Oh, yeah. I would. Really? I'm not a laid back... I'd love to see that oh man i mean i i like speed i like driving fast and i like going in and out of traffic um and you know

we all die so um i think the crotch rocket is the the bike i would pick this is precisely why i have never and will never own a motorcycle i feel like I could see you on a chopper. I would love to. Genuinely, I would love to ride a motorcycle regularly. The only reason I don't do that is because of death. Right. It's a pretty good reason. If I wasn't married, I didn't have kids, I would be much more inclined to do that.

That would be a dream to go across the country on a motorcycle. Really? That's a dream of yours? Like, that would be a dream to go across the country on a motorcycle. Really? That's a dream of yours? Yes, it would be awesome. That feels like a really numb nether region. Oh, man. Has that become a problem? Yeah, you're sitting on a motor. You gotta get calloused. It's vibrating the whole time you're riding. Well, I made it to New York,

but I can't have kids. You win some, you lose some. That's how we vasectomy people now? Yeah. I've never really heard. You take your journey? I've never heard of the rumbling undercarriage being the main problem in motorcycle riding.

It's normally been the getting hit by cars and dying part. Well, those people can't tell you about it. Oh, my gosh eerie comment there um david from twitter one more would you rather have to fight a chicken to death every time you get in your car or or you have to fight a gorilla once a year but you get a sword i mean you have to think about 365 days of fighting a chicken when you get in the car. I just love that. I love the wording.

It's fight a chicken to the death as if we don't know who's going to win, but you've got to fight to the death to figure it out. This is not a fight to the death. This is a you have to kill a chicken every time you go. It is for the chicken. I mean, could a chicken kill a person? No. Not 1v1.

I mean, you might run into some. They're going to get some pecks in. They're going to get some scratches. You're in a very small, tight area where they can move around a lot. The worst part is you're going to get into a good habit of grabbing and breaking the neck of a chicken. You're going to be a pro by the end of this year. You'll just be like, eventually you'll be casual. You'll just be like, all right, honey, I'm going to work.

Oh, yeah, other people are driving with you. Oh, let me get that for you. But where do you put the dead chicken? You got to cook it. You don't want to be wasteful. Right. Is it wasteful? You put them in the trailer.

Is it wasteful if it's a magic chicken that just shows up every time you get in your car? Well, this chicken had a soul. Is it the same chicken every time? Oh, brother. Does he learn? I imagine you're getting it. Oh, that'd be a problem. He's getting better.

He's protecting the neck now. How many times could you kill that chicken before it kills you? Now you start opening the door, and you can't find him. He's hiding. He's under a seat. He's in the glove compartment. And you got to go searching because he's going to wait until you get out on the road. He cut the brakes.

The chicken's cut the brakes now? He's going full kamikaze. I'll die in here, but so will you. He's coming back tomorrow. He knows he's coming back. Oh, that's right. He's fine taking one for... Oh, man. Unless once the car is totaled does the magic

power go away oh yeah no i hope it does i hope it's total that he just appears in this completely crumpled box every auto death all right we need we need to move on but i want to answer the question okay i would rather fight a chicken to the death fight him to the death every day of the rest of my life than 25 years from now have to fight a gorilla once and I get a gun. I'm not winning that fight. You couldn't beat a gorilla with a gun? Well, like, give me one of those gatlings. No.

You couldn't beat a gorilla with a gun? Well, like, give me one of those Gatlings. Right now, today, if you had to fight a gorilla with a sword, that just means that a gorilla has now killed you with a sword. Yeah. That's probably true. I promise I could scratch that gorilla. I could absolutely get a scratch in before I die.

I'm confident. Because I swing, and I just got to barely hit him to scratch. If you grab the sword and you do the full quick swing around, around, around, would you be able to- What, like link? Are you just spinning it through? Yeah. Is there any way for him to get you? No, that's impossible.

You're going to get tired and dizzy. Yeah, I might throw up. It's going to wait you out. It's a gorilla. They're smart. It's a good point. How do you okay just so you've got a real you got a good sharp sword yeah super sharp and you get one gorilla sword but go on you got one free shot at the gorilla oh do you think you even given that do you he's not moving yeah do

you think you could kill the gorilla i think i could kill the gorilla? Yeah, I think I could kill the gorilla. Free shot. What do you do? You go neck. Do you go decapitation or do you go stab to the heart? I was thinking about that. Eerie, eerie thought. I think I would go for the head. You said it's super sharp. If I was not trusting the sharpness, I'd go heart.

I feel like it's got to be super sharp to get through to the heart. But the point is more likely to break through to the heart but the point you have a yeah the point is more likely to break through with a little less sharpness but a pure if I just swat him in the neck and there's no sharpness and it just like bounces off his neck pissed off a gorilla that's what I mean and then the gorilla pulls the sword out

do you just go straight down like chopping wood style right on the top of the head very strong oh like a uh yeah just just right down on the top like you're chopping wood no then on the top of the head. Very strong. Oh, like a... Yeah, just right down on the top like you're chopping wood. No, then you've got to go through the skull. Like you're trying to open a hot dog? Right.

You don't want to go through a skull to get to the gorilla. I think now that we're talking about this, I think if you get free shot, and he's not going to respond until after that shot is done, I think you do have to go piercing for the heart. Now, just to make this worse, if you took a leg off, could you get away? Interesting. I don't believe I could take a leg off. Doubtful.

I think I'm going to just. Could a gorilla run without toes? Yeah. I mean, they go. A gorilla goes like all fours sometimes. How about the old eyeball? See, now that's a good one. Oh, now we're thinking of a champion.

We're all getting killed by the gorilla. I'm just going to a corner sitting there with the sword pointing out. That's why I'm fighting a chicken. To the death. May the best man win. It's going to be me. Alright, time to enter the situation room. The situation realm. Big boss Mike from

Patreon writes in. Yeah, I did. With your lives on the line, the three of you must complete or sorry, must compete as a team in any game show or TV competition of your choice. What do you choose for your best odds of survival? Funny word there because survivor is an option. It is. It's not the option we would go with. You're built for it.

I could last a while without food. I don't know of any game show. I assume we have to pick a real game show. How's your fat reserves? They're okay. They're up at 55%. I've been training for this my whole life. This is your moment.

Does anybody know of a foosball game show? No. No, but let's think of some main ones. You've got Price is Right. You've got Jeopardy. You've got... Jeopardy's Out. Oh, yeah.

Jeopardy's Out. No way. I mean, it's the three of us, right? Right. So, Family Feud. I could get down for some Family Feud. Perhaps. I think we could win on that.

The Million Dollar Pyramid, which is basically taboo. I'm excellent. I am excellent at that game. Dude, Mike, I think we could rush the Million Dollar Pyramid. I'm not even part of this anymore? No, we got you. Get on our back. We got you from here.

Although, if you die, it's completely our fault. Okay. So, yeah, I think I'm good at taboo family feud would be fun uh what about the uh i know a lot of people were tagging us american ninja warrior oh no thank you floor is lava that was the one i was gonna say a lot of people were saying because it's three people i think and they're like dude you guys have to do floors lava i feel pretty confident i can handle floors lava i would need at least two weeks to train get a get a little maybe maybe lose five or two weeks away from just two weeks it's all i need two weeks just give me two more you know like american

gladiator two weeks two weeks uh i'd be all right if I had two weeks to train for that. Ninja Warrior. Two weeks? Couple of weeks, yeah. Two weeks? Two weeks. I'd be fine. Could you get up that wall?

Yeah. Do I get one of those Batman guns? You get a running start. Jason gets to participate in American Ninja Warrior like normal, but he does get a grappling gun. He has a utility belt? He gets a utility belt yeah i'm just everything i'm not i want to see you try to use that gun a hundred times up a mountain i'm not walking upstairs i'm just scaling cutting myself up the stairs this is awesome now let's okay i want you to think about the physics of a gatling gun

and the way that batman does it yeah okay okay so he one-handed yeah what holding the physics of a gatling gun and the way that batman does it yeah okay okay so he one-handed yeah what holding the handle of a gun he fires a hookup and then he holds on to the gun i don't think we mean gatling gun either no no no we don't you're grappling grappling yeah yeah i mean i won't accept either i will definitely not lose if i have a gatling gun i won't win on your marks, get set. But you have lost. That's for the gorilla. But have you ever-

Could I hold on? Have you ever tried to hold yourself up with one arm? Yeah. It's not like- Lately? Oh my gosh. I can hold myself up by one arm for a short period of time. Now, I tried to do that on a pull-up bar. On a pull-up bar.

It was rough. You were going for like two minutes. No, I mean like literally last night. I was like stretching out my shoulders on a pull-up bar, and I was playing around with trying to do one arm, and it's uncomfortable. If you add in the fact that it is pulling me so it's my weight plus a lot more i mean just so you know batman doesn't

have to one hand this thing he can put both hands on and i would need both hands well you know he goes one hand because he has to hold on to somebody else attach it to the belt does he do that he does maybe he does do that sometimes and that's a pro move now how does that work that's because his arm is getting sore how does that work if you attach it to the belt yeah you've got that thing run under the undercarriage it's another whole undercarriage okay so you you have it's not just a around the waist belt no that belt it's a three-point harness yes your full full body Now, when you take off... Yeah, you wear a cup.

I know what you're saying. I'm trying to figure out the logistics here. I will say this. I've been on a harness before for a theatrical... Peter Pan? Close, close. It was The Foreigner. But where you've got a...

Peter Pan is close to The Foreigner? No, it was close. It was a play. Do you wear a... That goes all the way up, I'm assuming. Over your shoulders, too? No. Or it wasn't?

It kind of didn't. It was like one of those step-in harnesses where the loops around the legs. Okay, yeah. And then I think it does buckle a little bit higher, but oh my goodness. Did you do flips? No, no, no.

You couldn't do flips in this one. Oh, okay. Guys... A lot of pressure. L lifting your body from loops on your legs is a nightmare of all nightmares and this was 100 pounds ago it's not okay it is not comfortable no i mean are you the foreigner um i'm i'm starting to think it might have been har and Maude I saw you in that I was not Maude you were outstanding I don't know any of these shows

they sound dumb well Maude is the old woman I wasn't the old woman alright I think look there's the one I'd want to do which is Survivor but I don't know if I'd actually do well. Your odds of winning are too dependent on other people in that one.

So I think we've got to do what you said. Well, I'll ride your coattails on. Well, $10,000 pyramid, or I think we would do well on Family Feud. Yeah, that would be the most fun. Good answer. Mandy Ballerway writes in, says, you have been given the opportunity to live your life on repeat forever, or you can continue it as currently scheduled. So this is like Groundhog Day, right? You wake

up in the morning, and the thing is, is you maintain all your memories, and the day starts fresh every morning. So you're eternal're you're eternal but it's the same day it's the same day so it is groundhog day yes but the thing is is uh you would be eternal but you'd be living in the same day forever do you opt in or do you just finish out life now because in this situation you wouldn't accumulate money right sure because uh any work so work that you do during the day is kind of irrelevant i'm not going to work i mean i i'm living the same day over and over so i can do whatever i want so you're calling in sick every morning there's no traveling right not taking a vacation in new

york because well by the time i get there i'm back you could probably fine tune that you could probably get up in the morning and be like hey i can get this flight to go here and experience it but then you're waking up in the same place there is yeah there is the difficulty and i i think the andy sandberg movie was i think it was called palm springs and they explored this a little bit because it's very groundhog day but they were trying to like look at some more of the rules so and you're you're living groundhog day when is the reset is the reset midnight yes or is the reset when you fall asleep? Either one.

The reset is everyone. That's fair. Whatever comes first. That's right. Either when you fall asleep, die, or when the clock strikes 12.01. Yeah, so you don't get to stretch it out just by staying up longer. Okay. The thing is, this would be a way to opt into living not you know living forever

right but you're in that day you are in a living hell like when i have not seen a movie we're revolving around this premise where they're happy about it everyone is trying to get out of that everyone is trying to escape from it i I mean, you're in a time loop. But let me ask you this. Practically speaking, what is the difference? Like, we live the majority of our life doing the same day over and over. Now, what happens around us is different. We don't know what everyone's going to say. But then that will branch out and change as the day goes on. But my point is, is like getting philosophical here we basically are living the same day over and

over and over and over right now you're on a short enough time the kids and family are the fundamental difference here right because any influence you have on them that day does not remain oh i'm no longer a parent i I mean, you are going self mode. Of course I am. What am I going to raise them right for tomorrow? That's today. Self mode for the eternity. Sounds like hell.

Jason has been given the gift of eternal life. And your first decision is I'm out on the family. Well, no, because I can't do anything for the family. It's not like I don't love them anymore. But wouldn't you want to spend, like, if you have eternity, wouldn't you want to spend some time with them? Oh, we'd have a blast. We'd do things together sometimes.

But I'm not parenting. I'm not like, watch what you eat. But is it redeemable if there's no memories for them? No. Like, you get to the end of the day of the best, you give them the best day of their lives. Yeah. And then you wake up tomorrow, you remember it.

They don't. Yeah. Oh, there's no value for them. That's why I'm saying I'm pretty much out on parenting because it's irrelevant. Okay. I see what you're saying. Let me give you a twist here

because I think right now nobody's opting into eternal life. Oh, no way. You can opt into this exact same situation, but you and your closest friends and family do maintain their memories but you don't age everyone's the same age there's no progression around you they're in it with me though they're in it with you oh now they're the same age yeah they're the same age so do you want to that's great you want your kid to be nine forever you want your kid to be 12 i get i get to have forever with my kids and they never become teenagers heck yeah man it sounds great eventually your children will realize

what is happening and be very angry no i i do realize that i i don't get to walk so mike are you out on that too look i've i've lived long enough already i don't need more okay all right what would it take to to opt into the everyday turn well i i think what made it take to opt into the everyday tournament? I think what made it interesting to me was the idea that you are opting into the security of where you're at right now. Would you take where you're at in this exact moment forever or not on this earth? No, because I would not take anything forever. Right. But what if I said a thousand years? Maybe.

Maybe. So there's a thousand years? Maybe. Maybe. So there's a line where you go. There's a line that would go from this is cool to I am condemned in this state. Yes. And I think that would happen probably in about two months. And then any time that you wanted out of that, you couldn't. You'd just be waking up the next day. Exactly.

So you would become a crazy person. Yes. And I feel like we got a pretty good life right now so i'm gonna still feel that way i'm gonna stick i'm gonna stick with what what we already got all right al how are you doing today doing great out of curiosity you wouldn't opt in would you nope all right uh do we have time for another situation or you want us to move on to the draft let's get into the draft all right here we go the spitballers draft all right now this this draft is one that mike is already shaking his hand drafting I'm drafting under protest here. Which is funny because it's really just not that consequential to life.

Is that fair to say? Of course. Best fro-yo toppings. When this topic was brought up by Al Borland, our fearless producer, it seemed like a lighthearted, innocent little draft. I mean, this is there's Froyo shops all over the country. Yeah. Self-serve. They close every day. Yeah, they

do. They do. Nothing turns over quicker than a Froyo shop. Weird. I mean, I wonder why. But everybody loves them. Or do they? Well, not enough. They love ice cream shops. And when a Froyo shop opens, they go, oh, let's go try that. A little healthier, but they don't keep going back.

And they charge you by weight. I feel like it's yogurt. They charge you by weight. There's infinite, lots of different toppings. Great. Discriminated against again. They don't weigh you at the end of the line. Sir, you look like that's gonna be 15 dollars yes ma'am yes ma'am the ma'am's voice was sir

oh they check your weight and then they charge you based on what they think you do i mean it makes sense to some degree it's not fair. I'm sorry. I'm sure it's illegal. They weigh your fro-yo, brother. Yeah, no, I know. I know how fro-yo works. But here's the deal. Lots of toppings, lots of choices, lots of ways to go.

I think a lot of the fun for kids and for people going is that you do have variety. But Mike is a man who wants vanilla yogurt. No, I don't want vanilla yogurt. But I would like chocolate yogurt. The problem with it is it's not frozen yogurt. The concept of frozen yogurt is solid. Are you okay over there, Coffee McOpster? Yeah, I'm good.

I might have drank my drink down the wrong tube. Good. I might have drank my drink down the wrong tube. Like frozen yogurt, the idea is that I'm eating, I'm getting most of the flavor of ice cream. Yeah. But with fewer of the calories. Correct. But for children, like, oh, I want to go to frozen yogurt.

They want to go to the candy store. Yeah, because they don't. Frozen yogurt is the candy shop. Yeah, they definitely don't care about the calories and whether it's ice cream or fro-yo. To them, it's the same. They don't care about the frozen yogurt. It's the candy shot. Yeah, they definitely don't care about the calories and whether it's ice cream or fro-yo. They don't care about the frozen yogurt. They just dump candy on it. Well, yeah, because the frozen yogurt's the worst part of it. What are you getting frozen?

So we're drafting toppings to make it better. Oh, yeah. Okay. And, Mike, I told you before, we're more in line in some ways, but we'll get to the picks. So, Jason, you get to kick this thing off. What is your number one Froyo topic? I think the coughing has made you sweaty.

Oh, dude, I am a wreck over here. You don't cough for no one. Okay, so I know what my clear-cut absolute 101 is. I mean, I have never gone to get Froyo and not put this on ever, and I never will unless they don't have it in which case shame on you and it will probably be my fourth pick because I can't imagine that either of you would wait so you're not picking it so you're taking first and fourth I am tantalizing so I'm gonna start with what is just the best candy in general because these are often able to be put on my fro-yo and I like more

of the toppings than the fro-yo itself. I'm going with the mini Reese's peanut butter cups. Okay. That was actually the only candy that I had on my list. Okay. So good, and I don't even need yogurt in that cup. So you like Reese's peanut butter cups. That is correct.

I like Reese's peanut butter cup they're made a little worse with fro-yo but they're still good oh I'm with you on the point you said the children view it as a candy store I am one of the children who views it as a candy store I'm you're a hundred percent right so do you but do you legitimately like put in one little swirl at the bottom and then fill it up with toppings? Yes. He doesn't like the candy to roll around. It needs a good base so it just sticks.

Sometimes I feel like what I want to do is just get the cup and go to the counter and put the toppings in. I don't do that because I think that's illegal. There are stores you can do that. So you're just buying a variety of toppings by weight. Yeah. Yeah. All right. My pick is going to be caramel.

Okay. It's on my list. Yeah. Which, I mean, I don't think I have to distinguish between hot or cold or something like that, right? No. It's a liquid. To me, I try to maintain the fidelity of the fro-yo.

As in like the texture? the fidelity of the fro-yo. As in like the texture? I want to maintain it as a cold treat, not a candy store situation. I'm trying to accent the flavor, which is what caramel does. So I'm going to take that with my number one pick. Now, have you tried eating caramel sauce without fro-yo, though? It's not that good. No.

And that's how you should always judge these toppings. What if I didn't put fro-yo in this cup? Exactly. I think you made a huge mistake there. I would love to see somebody go into a fro-yo shop, fill about half the cup with just caramel instead of fro-yo, and then put toppings on the caramel. Oh, I will try it tonight.

Let me make a newt. All right, Mike. You are on the clock with a double pick. And Froyo is great, Al. Yes, it is. Yeah. I like a good chocolate frozen yogurt. Dole Whip is an elite dessert.

Yeah. But you can't put anything on the Dole Whip. No, you don't. But that's a special. It's even got a little special texture. What flavor? You're maintaining the integrity on the Dole Whip. No, you don't. But that's a special, it's even got a little special texture. What flavor? You're maintaining the integrity, the fidelity of it. What is your base flavor?

My base flavor is either vanilla or the, oh gosh, what is the one that's like, oh, the tart. I'll do the tart. That's mine too. The tart is legit. Is it called a tart? It's a different flavor. Like a tart vanilla?

It's a tart vanilla. Is it tart vanilla? It's a tart vanilla. Is it called tart? It is called tart. Yeah, I think they leave the vanilla out for several years. It actually kind of tastes like that. And then they say, this one's too old. It goes bad? Yeah, it goes bad, and they call it tart.

It tastes like a more, it's got like a yogurt-y bite to it. Is that a good way to describe it, Al? Because you said it's your favorite too. Yeah, it complements the fruity toppings better. It complements all the toppings. Okay. So those are my bases. But Mike, you've got a couple of sweet picks.

So I had to go do some research to find out what kind of things people put on frozen yogurt. To be clear, let's just be plain with the audience. We're transparent. We're ourselves. Mike's choice. So let me see. You go with the kids because I'm sure they've dragged you to a Froyo place. They have, yes.

Despite your disdain. Yes. You're just a good father. You followed their lead. I was just there. I ordered nothing. And you got nothing at all. I got nothing.

Okay. But have you gone and just gotten plain chocolate Froyo? I have. Okay. So to be clear, Mike didn't really have a lot of insight to this draft because he prefers them to have no toppings. I've seen it. My children love these gummy shark things. Yeah.

Those are ridiculous. When the gummy is like a full-on turkey leg in there. I mean, you shouldn't have to take the gummy out with utensils and cut it up to eat it. Yeah, no, that is a good one. That's a good pick. Gummy shark? Yeah. Oh, you're good.

That's all full candies. All right, so I'm up. I'll start it off with something. I can see myself actually doing this. I'm going to go with the Oreos. Yeah. The Oreos. I'm not opposed to it.

I put them in my ice cream. Why would I not put them in my frozen yolk? No reason not to, Mike. Spread your wings. So I'm going to go with that one. Now how crazy do you get with this second pick here? Because I've seen some things that piqued my interest. Okay.

So you're browsing right now? No, I did it. I'm a professional. I browsed before i got in here okay and i don't really care about the polls on this one so i'm just look this one it really i don't know that i've seen it in the yogurt shops if i have i have overlooked it captain crunch oh yeah they've been in there. People do this? Yes. I'm shocked. It sounds actually pretty good. I'm shocked.

And maybe I shouldn't even say this because it could still be picked. But I'm shocked you didn't go Fruity Pebbles as the... See, the problem is I get chocolate. And I don't do fruit and chocolate. I know people like chocolate-dipped strawberries. Not for me. Not for me.

I'm back up. You are. So, Mike, you're too. Yeah, but good luck beating Oreos and Captain Crunch. Captain. Oh, you took Oreo. I missed the Oreo. Yeah, I took Oreos. That's a great pick.

Thank you. I just hate that usually they crush them up, and then it's like Oreo bits that you're putting on. I just want Oreos. Because your test is, should I eat this alone? Right, exactly. And crumpled up Oreos would not make it. No, I would rather them be solid so I can dunk them in milk. Much more delicious that way.

But not fro-yo. You wouldn't dip them in fro-yo. I mean, you can. It's just not as good. Fro-yo in a cup though, or a mug. I'm going to take this pick now because I'm afraid of not getting it. It's the most underrated of all toppings for all ice cream and for all froyo and anything in general in the ice cream realm, which I am a master. Sure.

And that is marshmallow sauce. Oh, man. Oh, baby. Marshmallow. Oh, baby. You're in on that one? It is so good. I am so impressed by you right now, man. Oh, baby. Marshmallow. Oh, baby. You're in on that one? It is so good. I am so impressed by you right now, Andy.

I mean, this wasn't on my list because this is an ice cream thing, not a frozen yogurt thing. But marshmallow sauce in ice cream is unbelievably good. Interesting. And not enough places carry it. No. Culver's out here in Arizona, they've got the marshmallow sauce. All the Froyo places places carry it. No, Culver's out here in Arizona, they've got the marshmallow sauce.

All the Froyo places always have it. What it does to the texture is just spectacular. It's a little, and it's wonderful. Again, it doesn't work with Froyo because you can't eat it without Froyo, and that's my barometer test. You can't spoon? No, I mean, a good marshmallow sauce is more liquidy.

It's not like the marshmallow fluff that you get in the store. So this is more like a- Yes. Yes. This is more like a drink. It's a marshmallow drink. That's why I said kind of the marshmallow sauce, because you can get it out of a pump delivery system.

It's not like opening up a jar of mayo and scooping out a big, thick piece of marshmallow. It's a sauce. Yeah. That's good. I'm learning a lot today. And I was afraid that that would go. But I should have thought about the fact that Jason wants something that he can unwrap before he eats it.

Yeah. But it's Twizzlers. No, this- Wait a minute. By the pound? This one is one. Oh, I i got two picks here you do okay um so you say you like to keep the and you have been a man of your word here you you like you like to keep the consistency of your yogurt yeah there's no sauces here i i am the opposite way

even when not even when actually filling up the tub with yogurt, frozen yogurt, and putting toppings on it, I want there to be like a texture change. I want there to be a reason that I put toppings on there. And so I'm going to go with two different little bites here for my back-to-back picks. Oh, no. Oh, no. Brownie bites. Okay. And little cheesecake bites. Oh. oh oh those are so and you'd put those together have you factored necessarily depends on the flavor of

the base but have you factored in that cheesecake is an abomination and disgusting now let me tell you this mike and even if bite-sized i bet it's still bad i I need you to understand this. The difference between cheesecake bites and cheesecake is they aren't the same thing. How is that possible? It's possible because if you think about what is wrong with a cheesecake, is that when you're taking a giant forkful of cheesecake, it's way too much. Like for people that don't like cheesecake. It's a cheesecake to crust ratio difference? Yeah.

I mean, it's almost. What if you took smaller bites? Impossible. It's not the same because imagine the top of a cheesecake, right? And now imagine that that's what the texture is on all. How many sides are on a cube? Is that six? Four?

Six? Yeah, six. Six. On all six sides of this cube is like the outside top of the cheesecake. So you never get that middle that's almost too cream. Now, I would go out on a limb, Jason, just to soften your comments and say it does. It's a little bit like cheesecake. I think that you're being misled by the name.

Of cheesecake bites? Of cheesecake bites. Now, what does it taste like? If you had to describe anything in the world it would taste like, would you go with, I don't know cheesecake i would say it tastes like like uh a cream cheese bread that's what i would say all right so you're going with brownie bites and she um and cheesecake bites to go with your peanut butter cups um i am going with an underrated topping. Again, speaking from lots of experience in this realm. Underrated.

Don't really know why I love it. Maybe it's what Mike said about giving it a little extra crunch. Okay. But I'm going with sprinkles. It's on my list. Sprinkles are just, they have to be on it. They just taste like sugar. Yeah.

Sprinkles are far more of a visual. Decoration. They're just a decoration. But they aren't. Okay, now Al is saying sprinkles are trash. Yeah, sprinkles are trash. Al's right. Well, you can be unemployed.

What is wrong with sprinkles? Sprinkles are great. Sprinkles are beautiful. They also add a little bit of crunch and flavor. The crunch that sprinkles provide is awful. It's not crunchy. It's more of a snip. It's just more like, oh, I got some flakes of something in here that are a little bit harder.

Sprinkles are trash, but they're beautiful. It's like beautiful garbage. And I think that they serve their place, right? You put some whipped cream on top, a couple of sprinkles, and it's a great picture. A great photo opportunity. Your IG is better for your sprinkles. Mike, you are up. Okay.

And you have to make two more picks. That's good, because my list, I think, is down to two things. Okay, perfect. I will take cookie dough bites. Oh, what an idiot. I took two bites that weren't cookie dough bites? I was a little bit surprised that one was on my list i was a little bit surprised you went with cheesecake which as i've described is garbage

and tastes bad and cookie dough which is great oh man that's a great pick mike so i will take the cookie dough bites now and then this last pick here wait i will trade you brownie bites and cheesecake bites for cookie dough bites. Do you accept? Never. All right. I had to try. Never. You would have a better chance of trading me brownie bites for cookie dough bites.

The cheesecake bites make your offer worse. Okay. All right. And now with my final pick, this one it's, this gets a little sketchy, because this is not how... Cocaine. I'm sorry. Super sketchy.

Real sketchy. I get all my frozen yogurt from the back of a van. It was a great guess, because it is methamphetamines. Oh my gosh. All right. No, because I don't. Better not be black licorice or something. No, no, no.

But it's something that if you put it in the cold, it's not as good. This candy is far better when it's warm. But whenever people apparently put this into the frozen yogurt, I will take Reese's Pieces. Oh, heck yeah, man. I mean. Oh, you're in on this. Let me ask you this. If there's no frozen yogurt, how are Reese's Pieces. Oh, heck yeah, man. Oh, you're in on this. Let me ask you this. If there's no frozen yogurt, how are Reese's Pieces?

They're awesome. Very, very good. Reese's Pieces, they're hit and miss because I've gone back and forth getting Reese's Pieces like milkshakes with them in it and the Reese's peanut butter. I call them Reese's Pieces. Yeah, he always says. I've always said them that. I call it that to peanut butter. I've always said I'm not.

I call it that to be funny. I've always said it like that. Like a little boy. Yeah. Let's have Reese's pieces. You guys are funny. And I've tried the cups and I like the cups more. I honestly take them.

I was I would have taken the Reese's pieces on the last turn except I had the Reese's cups and it felt like it's too much. It's too much. All right. I get my favorite four items in this draft, and I'm finishing with hot fudge. Hot fudge is outstanding. You are a saucy man. I am very saucy.

You just told us about how you like to keep the integrity of the dish. Which is what it does. It melts it. Not if you put a conservative amount. Why don't you just go with... I need to be able to put everything. Everything that I chose... Why can't it be cold?

...can all be together and be a great fro-yo. Because, like, almost... Caramel hot fudge, marshmallow sauce, and sprinkles make for a soupy delight. Because, essentially, everything you have taken aside from the sprinkles can just be a flavor of frozen yogurt. No, they don't make caramel-flavored frozen make caramel flavored frozen i've definitely had caramel frozen yogurt that's not a common thing just because you've got it my local one has the standard of whether you've eaten it my that's not a life i want to live and by the way mine is also yours because we live near each other oh do you get a marshmallow sauce frozen yogurt there too? I'm sure there's a marshmallow flavored

frozen yogurt. I'm going to have to go and take some pictures. It's a weird criticism. But you are right. It sounds soupy. The criticism is that when this whole thing was brought up, I said I'm getting ice cream on the way home. I said, why do a draft of

something that you shouldn't put toppings on? Because I could get down with what you have just made but doing it with only frozen yogurt that was that was only my it was not a criticism it was a it was a analysis I have texted my wife open your eyes we are getting fro-yo tonight so you're going to the candy store yes I'm going to the candy you're going to the doll and I do not mean we're getting fro-yo tonight You mean you're getting candy in a bowl. Yes. All these candies have really.

That's what you should. You should start a Froyo place called Candy in a Bowl. Ooh, I'll bet if I open that. It's called Fuzzy Wigs. Right next to a different yogurt shop, I would put them out of business. Because I'm telling the people what they actually want. Also, the cocaine one will get. You'll probably do well.

Profits are. Huge, huge profits. Not going to be open very long. Right do well. Profits are huge. Huge profits. Not going to be open very much like a frozen yogurt. All right. I still have a pick here. And it was my profit. It's my true clear one on one. Oh, you got it.

Yes, I got it because nobody would ever get get this. But it's the frost. Filet mignon. Filet mignon. Oh, imagine having that without froyo. It's so good. The Le Mignon. Oh, imagine having that without Froyo. It's so good. Sorry. Go ahead.

No, it is frosted animal cookies. Oh, baby. What, like the circus animals? Yeah, the little circus. They do have those in every Froyo shop. Every Froyo shop has the little pink. Those things are underrated as a general rule of life. But those are weights.

Do they cut them up? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. You would never do that. They have. No, I've been at places that have both next to each other. They'll have the crushed, and then they'll have the full. Is that to send a message to the other animals?

Yes. Be able, we'll crunch you up. They're way too big. They are not big enough, Mike. Froyo shops have chosen that nothing is too big to be put in there, because they'll just weigh it. I mean, you pick something big, you're going to pay for it. When you go to eat it, do you hand pick those up?

I hand pick those up. I've never eaten them in a scoop of frozen yogurt. That would be ridiculous. Those are way too big for a spoon. Yeah, you don't use a spoon. And you try to get as little fro-yo on it as possible. Honest to goodness, I'm not making this up. When I get fro-yo and I put these cookies in there,

I put them all on one side and I stack them so that only one layer is touching fro-yo. You sacrifice one of the animals? That's right. I'm literally just getting animal cookies because they're so good. So Jason has peanut butter cups, brownie bites, cheesecake bites, and frosted animal cookies. That sounds like a good fro-yo, just those four. Mike has Oreos, Captain Crunch, cookie dough bites, and Reese's Pieces all against his will. And then I have caramel, marshmallow sauce, sprinkles, and hot fudge.

Sound pretty good? Yours is very soft. As in like texture-wise? Yes. Yeah, I don't want to chew a bunch of candies while I'm having fro-yo. What did we learn today? I learned that a very pleasant fart has been named a ploof. I learned that eerie cannot be positive.

And I learned that dish soap, although it seems like the exact same thing as shampoo, not good for your hair. No, it isn't. Long term. Yeah. If you're in a pinch, it is the same thing as shampoo, not good for your hair. No, it isn't. Long term. Yeah. If you're in a pinch, it is the same thing. There is a case study available. All right.

Thank you for tuning in, supporting the podcast. We love you. Spitballerspod.com if you want to support the show. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.