Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Father Weather & The Worst Parts of Being an Adult - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Spit Hit for June 13th, 2024: On this show, we discuss manipulating the weather, rewinding time, and surviving without technology. We close down the show with a likely relatable draft of the worst parts of being an adult. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. then. A doodadbee bad boo bop a two-kinda boo. Oh, welcome in. The Spitballers back again, episode 228. Jason has reached for the number of cards. I believe he's going to give himself a rating. Gives himself a four.

A four. Four. This is not out of five. This is a four out of ten. not as that five. This is four of this is four out of ten I think that's probably fair. Yeah, you get my worst no no, but you could you could sense the doubt and I Went blank I went blank I had nothing prepared nothing in mind And that really felt true.

Right, you didn't prepare. That was about a four. Yeah, thank you. Welcome in, we have Would You Rather on today's show. That's a great question as well as a draft. We are drafting the worst parts of being an adult. So if you're an adolescent kid, teenager, you're gonna learn some things today,

and maybe you'll be thankful that you are a kid. They won't learn a single thing. I know, I wasn't thankful. Or maybe they'll be fearful. No. They'll say, wait, this is gonna suck being a grownup. No, because when you're a kid and you hear grownups complaining about things,

like, that's your problem, man, that's never gonna happen to me. I will never get old and I'm invincible. I'll never be a grownup. We should have a best part of being a grown up trap. Yeah, sure. We will. We'll do that. Cookies for dinner. Just three rounds. Just three rounds. Cookies for dinner. Yeah, that's on the list. You can eat what you want. I still remember the very first time that I ever, when I moved out of my parents' house and I had my own home, the very first thing I did was I went to Costco and I bought the largest package of red vines and I just ate them all the time. And I whenever I wanted to eat them I'd eat some red vines and I got so sick. I was I literally was throwing up red vines. I mean I yeah I learned that lesson you know balance

moderation. Yeah it's not a joke when you when you're telling your kids slow down on the sugar because right your tummy's gonna hurt Yeah, yeah, so we'll be drafting that at the end of today's show. Thank you for subscribing following the show on Apple podcast Spotify Tell your friends. Yeah about the podcast. That's the best if you want to give us a gift, which I'm sure all of you at Most moments of the day you're thinking how could I give them a gift? How can I give back for everything they do for me? Tell your friends and family which I was gonna combine into one word there. Your friend family? Yeah tell tell all your family. Framulon. About this show so that they can enjoy

their Mondays as well. Let's get it going. Let's get it going. Would you rather? All right, I like this one. Tanisha over on Patreon says, would you rather have the ability to stop time for a day or to rewind time for a day? What are the exact advantages of stopping time for a day? Naps. You just said, but I mean.

You want it days where the naps then the resume? Yeah. I mean, like if you can stop time, you will never have to worry about being tired ever, ever. Cause if you, if you like, you could be going 75 down the freeway and like, you know, and a yawn hits you like, man, then you go beep, you do the, uh, out of this world, you push your fingers together, everything freezes or you, you Zach Morris time out and then you just lay down and have a little power nap.

Okay. So you, you're interpreting this as this is a power you have over the next, for the rest of your life. I was thinking you just got to do- Oh, this is just once? I was the next, for the rest of your life. I was thinking you just got to do- Oh, this is just once? I was thinking you got to do it one time, but- That's how I read it as well. So I-

I'm fine with either premise, but we need to settle on one. I love what you're doing with napping during these timeouts. There would be no sleep, but you never need to sleep. But if this was the only one you got, it would seem a real shame to be like, guys, I got this wish I can stop time for a day it seems so I'm gonna take a nap like like if you only had a one time would you use it why would you use it like I can't find the reason why

it stopped time for a day other than like nefarious theft okay that's I mean how would that even help you I I mean, stopping time for a day does not give you access to things. You just stop it when the vault's open. Yeah. You know? Okay, so you think, I was like, if I was like on, like, I had a loved one on their deathbed

and I'd stop time for one day, you get one more day with them. But then you don't get to spend any time with them, they're frozen. Oh, they're frozen. Yeah. You're not hanging out with them. They don't have the power. You have the power.

So you're just alone in both of these situations? Yeah, it's basically like, I'm going to get more chores done. I don't have time to clean the house. Hold on. So one time when you're super stressed out, you just stop time for a day so you can calm down? That's not the worst. But if it's just a one-off, then the rewind is so much

powerful. More powerful. More powerful. So much powerful. So much power. I mean, I guess the first... Because that would correct the problem that happened. Yeah, something bad happens or you're just like, what would it be like to jump out of a plane without a parachute? And then just right before you get to the bottom, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Yeah, well I imagine that you could do that you could either choose to do the same things you did in which case The day would play out as it happened or you rewind the day choose a different branch. That's the that's the route I would go. Yeah, I would want to see how different can the world be if I make different choices And I think I'll be pretty disappointed Well considering you only get to see the outcomes for that next 24 hours and how they're different you won't get to see long-term impact.

Yeah no there I'll be like well I was pretty much same day I just saw a different movie. Now if you had the ability to do either of these infinitely yes you could you could you could not sleep ever right because you could well I mean you're sleeping but you don't you have extra time. You could not sleep ever, right? Cause you could get- Well, I mean, you're sleeping, but you don't, you have extra time. You could take a 12 hour, every night, you could sleep for 12 hours. Now, you still age. Ooh. Correct? So what, you're twice the physical?

That's actually a big- Your physical- No, you're stopping time, so you do not age. That makes sense, time is stopped. So time, without time, you will not age. This is like outside of time. Okay, so then yeah, that's incredible because you have infinite time then

to do the mundane things that are in the way of the fun stuff. So it would be in your advantage to maximize the 24 hours of stopping time for a day every time or would you, because I imagine it's a little bit boring. You don't have family, friends, you don't get to do anything. So would you? That's imagine it's a little bit boring you don't have family friends you don't get to do anything so what you why it's naps man but like you get what I'm saying like oh yeah maximize the lack of time passing you should run that clock to 24 every day but you might get a little bit

well I think that in this question you you don't get to just pause timeout time in it says you have the ability to stop time for a day 24 rewind for a day and I'm telling you this okay if you pause time for 24 hours in the whole world around you nothing happened for 24 hours I think it would be a nightmare I do not think you'd like it you the novelty will wear off you will be completely alone you won't be able to do anything. I think it's a negative. I don't see any positive for stopping. Well, Mike was making the point. Maybe you sleep 12 at the 24, right? So you're always

super rested. And then the other 12, what do you do? You clean the house? You do the chores? Can you do that stuff? Your wife's like, every time you come out of this thing, she's like, why is the house always so pristine? Saying the mundane things that get in the way of the moments where I'm really living, because that stuff has to get done. Adult things have to be done. And all the times where it's the weekend, right? You finally have time off of work,

and the kid's like, dad, let's go do this. I can't, because this adult stuff has to get done. Most of the adult stuff though is like, you know, you gotta go to the kid's birthday party. You gotta go to the doctor appointment. It involves other people. Like, Jason, would this all change for you

if you could bring one person with you each time? No. No? No, I don't think so. One person's not enough. No, I mean, I feel like now I'm bringing someone else into a problem. They'll be like, oh, check this out. They'll be like. So if you and your wife could do this, which if you could do it. What would we do? We wouldn't even know that you could do it right now. Right. I mean, we've already

been doing it for years, and that's how I know how boring it is. Okay. You guys didn't know. What do you mean, what would you do? You would watch TV You would sleep. How is that? Like how is that an advantage to just stop time and watch TV? I already watch TV. Yeah, but you take your time I'm passing you're you're wasting your life right now. Yes. Here's the thing If I want most precious resource is time sure, but if I watched TV During this 24 hour pause period, you wanna know what I'm gonna do un-paused? Productive things.

I'm gonna watch TV. Oh man. I'm gonna see so much TV. So wait, you telling me that you don't look at anything in your life and say like you wish you had more time to do anything else? No, I do, but I feel like if I could find more time to do things, click.

But I think that most things that you would say, I, I wish I had more time to do X that does involve more than just solo operation. Yeah. That's why I offered you a friend. I mean, like I want to go somewhere, travel, that's like that. That's the thing I want more time for. You could pause time for the day, drive to the beach, hang out at the beach for 12 hours and drive home.

What a nice time by myself. No, no, the traveling is by yourself. Like so, like if you stop time, well I mean we're under the assumption now that like electronics and cars and things, mechanical things can still work. Okay. So you say, hey, just sit in this, sit in the passenger seat here, we're going to go to the beach. And then you get to use all, you can pause it so you have daylight.

You can go whenever you want to go. With your pal. Because you don't have to worry about travel, like the nighttime travel. We can't give these guys a day to take a super power. I will rewind the clock and live that day over. So if you could rewind it, why is that better to you than the other one? Just because... I mean...

Because he can watch a different television program. You don't accomplish anything. Because the stuff you accomplish during the day, you lose. It's wiped out. No, I mean, we're being honest. You have to re-watch all your shows. This is just... You retain your information yeah like

who won the super bowl oh yeah ok now we're back to betting it always comes back to that but I mean come on if you got a time machine you know some stuff you can be very right on a lot of things which is the key to life it's a key to winning and betting alright Lucas from Patreon, would you rather

have the ability to manipulate the four seasons or to predict the weather up to a year in advance? So what would be the advantages of those two? Yeah, explain to me the manipulating the four seasons as in like, I think that summer is done now. Sure. Yeah, you could you could they could be as long or short as you want. So in Arizona, Oh baby. We've got a glorious winter. But we do. If you manipulated our seasons, let's be honest, everyone's living here.

Yeah, because in the winter, you only weed them out through the summer. I mean, that's not completely true because there's places that are super nice. Okay, so our living of living will go up. Sure. Okay. Now I just buy a bunch of real estate. And by the way, California, which you're talking about, traffic is astronomically horrible.

Yes. Now, can we affect the seasons? Like, we live in Arizona, there are two seasons here. You know, around the country, there's four. Here it goes from hot to winter. Fall is three hours and then... Spring is 62 minutes. Yeah, exactly.

So maybe we could add some seasons here, add some spice. Cause I look around the country and I wanna see... You want some fall? Fall, yeah. You wanna get into that fall? Absolutely, I wanna see the changing leaves. Cactuses don't generally change their leaves. No, nothing out here is their needles. But you know, at the same time,

predicting the weather with accuracy, up to a year in advance is really, really nice for vacations. I mean, you want to go, you know, when you when you plan something and and we all do right like you guys have We all three have a family trip coming up several months from now, right? How's the weather that week when you're when you're leaving? Hopefully good right exactly, but you could know and say oh, I don't want to go for instance for Christmas I mean this is this just happened For Christmas, I got my son a weekend trip, just me and him, to go to Magic Mountain. We flew out there and the park was closed because it was horrifically rainy that weekend.

If I went the next weekend, sunshine and beauty. So that trip was ruined by the weather. That's I think the big advantage of being able to predict the weather. See I was thinking really noble here though. If you knew the weather up to a year in advance, you could save every catastrophic thing from happening. Oh now you're thinking of like, so you know natural disasters. Yeah you'd know when tornadoes were gonna hit so you could give people a warning you knew in the You know the severity of those things sometimes people get caught off guard right would you consider in? earthquake or a volcano eruption

to be part of weather an Earthquake or a volcano certainly not an no no Neither of those so just so tornadoes and hurricanes. It doesn, volcanoes don't erupt when it rains or something, so no. Yeah, they're natural disasters, but not the kind that... Yeah, it's mother nature, not weather, father weather. Father weather, as he's referred to. Thank you for clarifying. So, no, but the big storms, hurricanes, tornadoes, flooding, all of that stuff, it devastates the world every year.

Yeah. But also vacations, Jason. Right. I mean, that's a little more important. Yeah. Everybody's vacations. But would you actually be taken serious? You go-

After a couple. Yeah. Sure. I mean a couple people are going to have to go down to prove it. Yeah, eventually. You just have to hit on some... Especially if you knew tornadoes. Because like hurricanes we know... To get out a little bit. So you know at this time of the year... No one's ever...

This is when a hurricane happens. But a tornado, it's very difficult to pinpoint exactly where and when it would don't you don't wake up one day and a hurricane is on your door Right. No one had like oh my goodness. What what just happened? Whereas a tornado snap your fingers and it's there Yeah in the flooding one the flooding. Yeah catches people off guard The other one manipulating the seasons. That's pretty much just creating a perfect environment. How valuable would that be? Like obviously right now you guys complain about the weather all the time. Yes. But you live here. Yeah. Cause family, this is where my family is. So by, by, put their roots here by that response though, you are saying that the the value of the environment and what you live in is lower than the value of living near your family. So correct. I guess I'm just saying like if it was the most pristine

perfect like I guess you can go live in Hawaii right now it's a lot to go do that. And if that's not everyone's perfect weather. Yeah I guess that's true. I think I'm gonna manipulate the Four Seasons here. Sorry, everybody, I will not be able to alert you on these natural disasters. But if I could make where I live exactly the weather I want it... You wouldn't need air conditioners then. Well, the way I'm reading this question is the Four Seasons still have to happen. And over a 12-month period. That's fine happen and over a 12 month period.

I think you'd- That's fine, I get a day of summer. You're only going one day? You wouldn't do like a month. Arizona summer, maybe a couple weeks. I mean, get some pool time. Get a pool, then go into the lake. That's pretty nice.

I mean, it's just, it's too warm. I mean, the melanoma's a real drag. Yeah, it would pretty much be winter here. Yeah, for the most part. Now, if I affect the seasons, do I have, so like, would I be changing it universally? So now it's like, 11 months are winter. So the rest of, everyone in Detroit hates me because they're living 11 months of winter. It's ice age up there.

But I'm like, but I'm living in glory. I feel like you are now a evil villain from some sort of Pixar film if you're doing that. We gotta wall off this city quick. They're all coming. So you're going seasons, Mike. Are you doing the predicting weather? No way.

Seasons? All right. Todd from Twitter, would you rather survive without technology for the rest of your life, but you get an unlimited supply of internet access for one day a week? Okay. Or the inverse. You have unlimited access to technology for the rest of your life, but no internet access at all. So how valuable is the internet to you versus the rest of your technology?

What does technology even do without internet? Well, I mean. You can still play your Xbox, anything that's local media. You can watch television, you can watch movies, you can use a computer. Oh, I forgot about cable. There's cable, there's satellite TV. Everything is streamed, so I'm thinking like,

you can't watch any of these TV services because you have no internet, but I guess. Do you count cars as technology? Some of them are of them are yeah yeah there's tech in cars so all that's gone it's just like interesting question because when we say the word tech you're just I guess you're you're never thinking car no because you it's you're thinking it has a computer chip yeah technically they do now what do you all cars all new cars have at least some sort of chip. But mentally you think car, engine. Yeah, it's like an

old machine. It's analog. But not having technology at all, but getting the internet access, what's the value of that? If you just have that, so you're connected to the world, right? Like right now we're connected to everything. Before we were the one of the only generations when you're growing up, we didn't have internet and you know the newspaper showed up on the door, you had the news channels but there were fewer of them. Now you're connected and you know too much. I mean would this be better for you to have to have the tech without internet I've I was kind of thinking about this like I got hit on one of the social medias of one of the throwback 80s whatever Accounts and all they do is they post nostalgic stuff and they suck you in because it's like hey

Remember when this stuff and it's just it's it's pictures of how things looked when you were a kid You're like, oh man. Yeah, look at Orange Julius. It's got the orange and the brown. Oh, it's pictures of how things looked when you were a kid. You're like, Oh man, yeah. Like look at Orange Julius. It's got the orange and the brown. Oh, there's a blockbuster video. There's pizza hut where you actually used to go and you sit down and all those things. And it's little shots in nostalgia. Yeah. And so I was, I started thinking about it of what would it be better?

You know, and we have now you, now you're so isolated into your house because you could door dash everything, you can stream everything. Would it actually be better if you could go back and you have to go out? You're forced to leave the house to go do all of those things. Is there a value to society for that?

Yeah. Or are you just romanticizing it because you grew up with it and then if you got forced to go back to it you go, man this sucks, why can't I just watch whatever movie I want to watch whenever I want to watch it? I mean it's a good question for a number of reasons. One, obviously any of us at any moment now could choose to discard all of that and we don't. So there's that. Sort of. I mean there's some things that these like blockbuster doesn't exist anymore.

Oh, okay. I see what you're saying. Like sit down pizza hut. The things around you really exist. Yeah. You couldn't go back to those things because they're gone. I what's, I don't remember the exact statistic or information. Like somebody had done a study and basically it said, you know, one issue of

the New York times contained more information in it than the average person would have been able to take in during the 1800s. Like in their lifetime. Like more information. So the information overload factor, right? Like we have so much information in our fingertips, honestly it makes people bored with things

that are like what you're talking about. Yeah, if we really had to go back in time, there's pros and cons. But I do think it would be pretty helpful for people to have to socially interact in real life a little bit more than everything. The Oasis? Yeah, exactly. I don't see the benefit to saying no technology ever but I only get internet once a day Well, that would be for information that would be the only the only reason why that is at your fingertips, right?

You you would not be able to anymore in the other one You can't Google a thing right? You're back to encyclopedias on live libraries libraries are back Yeah, oh,. Oh no, and uh, what was it? CD-ROMs? CD-ROMs? Yeah, was it in Carta? Yeah, it was in Carta. Oh yeah. Britannica. When you had that first digital encyclopedia. And it had two videos on it? Yeah, it was awesome. It was so awesome. But it was awesome because it was it was blowing your mind. You're like, wait wait I don't have to go get figure out which volume I read a physical book and wish I could press ctrl F Because I want to fuck I'm like wait. This is it doesn't even compute with me that I can't search this book for something

So which one would you go in you said you don't think is very valuable to have no tech and only internet, so you're going no internet, only tech. Yeah, because it's not just, it's no internet, six out of seven days plus no tech ever. So I'm pretty much, I'm pretty much, you know, lighting fires in my cave. I will- Yeah, that's true. So I will take I will take the tech wish we're just right back to the cave living. Yeah All houses are gone. I don't even get a VCR. Are you in the same one? I'm with I'm with Jason I'll take the I'll take the tech but no internet access Yeah, cuz the other way around let's see you get your one day of internet You could watch some streaming TV or something on it But then the other days you got no TV right right? You got no musical, no music.

Yes, yeah, well you're back to CDs. Yeah. Oh man, that was a good time. So vinyl. But like you have to carry a notepad around with you because whenever someone has a question, you're like, hmm, we're gonna have to ask the old Google machine that on Saturday.

Yeah, like nowadays you're sitting around the table and somebody's like, oh, I think it's this. And you're like, no, I think it's this. Like at lunch today, we didn't know how to pronounce the word bougainvillea yeah bougainvillea yeah whatever around Arizona the plants called the bougainvillea yeah it's it's not that's what the plant people call it everyone says bougainvillea yeah but we we were able to google it and then somebody ultimately dunk dunks on the other person

Yeah, were there dunks back in the 90s? Like did you oh, yeah, you go to the library Yeah, like write it down or you sketch it down and then you come back and say I looked this up and in your face Yes, but by then the person doesn't remember anymore. So there's no impact of the dunk But you got to be way smarter back then. Oh yeah. Because if you were very... Memories, memories. Well, either that or just confidence. If you're real... No, that is absolutely true.

I mean, then it is true. You say that something, you know... Because you can't be proven wrong? You can't be proven wrong. I mean, you just have to say it with confidence and now you are the world's smartest person. You think I'm wrong? Go look it up. Go to the library.

Grab the keys. I do like libraries though. Oh man. Nice and quiet. All right, moving on. Hey Spitwads, you ever walk in a room and you're like oh man so-and-so is looking good well you know what the next time you walk into that big event they're going to be saying you're looking good because you're going to be walking into that event with an indo chino custom form fitting suit on no big boxy suit no awful looking off the rack even more expensive big suit with

sleeves that don't fit your arm to perfection and shoulders that look like your Charles Barkley. No sir! We're talking about a really truly nice custom suit. I have two of them. Look, I'm not a perfectly shaped man. I have a unique shape, but my suit fits me. It's tailored to me. I don't usually. I alternate one for this, the event, the other for that. And I've done it both ways as far as the process. You can customize every piece. You can go into one of their showrooms, have someone do it for you. It's awesome. You can also take the measurements easily at home yourself. I've done it literally both of my suits one way for each. You can design your suit of your dreams and fine tune every detail including

lapels, linings, monograms, pocket flaps, anything you want. It is bespoke without the premium price tag. Suits starting at just $4.99 and fitted shirts for $89. Look your best this wedding season at the table or on the dance floor when you wear Indochino. Go to Indochino.com today and use the code BALLERS to get 10% off any purchase of $3.99 or more. That's I-N-D-O-C-H-I-N-O.com promo code BALLERS. That's a great question. I mean, for those of you that have followed this show for a while, you know that there's Deucer's Alley, where the producers sit.

Now what you might not know is that where I sit in the studio, the main camera, and you can go ahead and put the camera on there if you're watching on YouTube. It's a lonely alley today. So you can see it, it says right there, Deuc're watching on on YouTube It's a lonely alley today. So you can see it says right there deuces alley. It's just deucer alley No, but from where I'm sitting is deuce alley. That's all I mean It's cuz the camera the camera covers you of the ERS. That's right. It's one in the same So I just think over time that's gonna influence the way I look at somebody like Brooks If every time I see Brooks' face and Deuce Alley

next to each other, I'm sorry buddy. Keep Deuce, no problem. But if I start treating you like, you know. Like a Deuce? Then just no one. It's under, it got a big sign right next to me. Alright, that's a great question. This one comes in from Steven. What is something that you, that you know you do differently than most people?

Well I sit down to pee, poof, 98% of the time. There's a lot of people out there that do it. More men than will admit it. If you had to say your percentages of sit versus stand, Jason, you just said 98 and two. Well, that is exclusively not in public. I mean, I'm a urinal guy. Right, you don't sit in the urinal.

No, I don't sit in the urinal too often. I mean, if the- I'm a urinal guy right, but sit in the urinal Too often I mean if the every once in a while there's a sad if I gotta go number two and the stall is taken You know you got you gotta turn around my weight Sit in there like kingpin So but that is one thing. I think I'm Really like at least over 90% Mike I at home I percentage oh percentage of sits for P probably 60 40 70 30 okay I'm probably in which is it in favor of my man yeah I'm probably take a load off I'm probably sitting 75 or 80 that's what I'm saying it's it off We're probably sitting 75 or 80

That's what I'm saying. It's it's more but the phone I think has a lot to do Yeah, but like there's just there's this stigma of what is a man? It's like well a man could stand when he urinates so he like I've never really felt that oh, it's it's definitely out there So wait a minute when this question from Steven has asked what's something I do differently than most people, maybe I cannot answer that. You're a zero percent, are you a, Bruxy, you're a stand only? Yeah, I don't, I always stand, yeah. Yeah? So how often do you put the seat up?

Always, yeah. You're probably a hundred. It's not a manly man thing. I just prefer to stand and pee. He's an alpha back there. Hi T. So what were you saying though, J Jack? You were saying this question? Well, Brooks kind of derailed that in the sense that I was thinking maybe this isn't different than most people. You don't burp.

That is certainly one of mine. That's different than all other people on earth. I hate that so much. Wait, you wish you could burp? Oh my goodness. I wish I could burp. I imagine that you're there you still feel the pressure inside. I don't know, I mean I feel the pressure all in my belly. You know, it's like I just bloat. But I don't know how to burp, I've tried, I've tried to figure it out, I've watched videos before. This is the, I mean, listen.

I've watched videos. Yeah, because I've watched. The YouTube tutorial. There's no videos on how to burp because it's just a human function. Yeah, there are. There are? Yeah, because you can force yourself to burp,

but not everyone knows how to do it. I can't. Yeah. It just seems like it'd be like looking up a video of how to lift my arm or how to listen with my ears. Just tell your body with your brain to do it. Wow. Mike, do you have something that's

just so out of bounds for you? I read through and saw this because I'm like, man, what can I do? And the first thing I thought of is I snap primarily with my index finger. Oh weird. Yeah I know you I remember you telling me that and that doesn't seem possible. Instead of my middle finger. I can't even. It's not really a thing. I can't even do it. it how whoa I didn't realize how hard that is here here's the sound of my finger snapping that's that's how loud I can get it right so you snap with your index I got another thing I got another thing hot shot that you do differently than others you are an incredible whistler well thank you but people I don't but people whistle there's I don't do it

differently you do it differently. You do it differently. LeBron James does basketball differently than most people. You're the LeBron of whistling. You gotta give the people a tough time. Well, now I'm just laughing. It's hard. Yeah, but I mean, I'm a prolific snapper and whistler. Yeah, you do. You do that a lot. I don't know if there's one thing that I... that comes out. It's hard off the top of your head. Cause you may not even know you do it differently. Well, that's one of the funny things if you want a little behind the curtain here

at Spitballers Studio. Generally we have lunch here as a team. And one of the things that happens is we'll bring up ridiculous discussions, much like this show. Yes. And we'll start to, like the other day we were looking into how people do laundry.

And do they take their laundry out of the dirty laundry basket? Or do they keep it in the dirty laundry basket or how do they fold it or do you not fold it? Or do you put it on a hanger and so you learn a little bit around here that you do think like putting in dirty dishes to the without without rinsing them in the dishwasher so we do learn a little bit of the and The only reason we do them, if you think about it, the only reason we do them the way we do them

is because somebody did them that way before we did. Yeah, because that's how I've always done it. It's been passed down to us by our parents. You're like, the first time I did it, I tried it, and that worked, so now I may not change course. And it's weird because when you get married, somebody does stuff differently than you do. Yeah.

And then, there have been many times in my marriage where I'm like, no, you don't do it that way. And then, and then she goes, no differently than you do. Yeah. And then there have been many times in my marriage where I'm like no you don't do it that way and then and then she goes no yes you do and then and then that's the moment that's the moment when you when you go why is why would I why would I it's the first time you question why would I do it that way there's no reason I do it that way yeah very interesting. Say it's a life moment for everyone. When you say I do this this way because that's how I've always done it. That is not a good reason to do anything. You can say we've always done it like this because

I've worked it out and this is the more efficient way to do it. But if your reason for doing something is just cuz because that's a terrible reason it's not a great evaluate ask the question hold up in court yeah all right Laura wants to know solve a dispute why did you do that because I always have yeah what else let me supposed to do over overruled Laura wants to know simple dispute it's a good question this is a easy and obvious question. What's the best seats in a movie theater? Oh. Okay. If you're a child, it's the front row. And I don't understand why. Once. It's only that once for a child. Yeah, because that's the worst, the absolute

worst seat in a movie theater. I can't believe they get away with selling those seats. I think that's unfair, yeah. Well well to be fair to the movie theater. They only sell those seats when everything else is gone But I'm saying they shouldn't they should not exist. It should be discounted. They sure be discounted You should partial view I mean, but it's just like it's it's so close Like there should be a there has to be a legal distance between your seat the closest seat and the screen because there's there's some rows we just this is ridiculous and it's it's it's not this way anymore because speaking of the future where you like reserve where your seat is which is One of the best inventions of modern society

because the struggle of, back when we were kids and you had to look, number one, you either had to look up the movie time in the paper or you call movie phone, two, two, two, film, and it's. You call them to movie phone. Exactly, but it's okay. How do I know I can see this movie? I have to show up an hour early.

That's how I know I'm going to get in, and that's how I know I'm not going to be sitting in the front. Just to buy the tickets. Yes. And then you've got to go get in line. Then you've got to go. It is like a, it's an open run. Yes.

Once you're in there, like, yes, you're in a line, but it's not like you're waiting for the person to find their seats. You're just running around. Oh man, children. If you've never lived that life. So is your, this is an obvious thing, Jason, is that you were going somewhere in the middle. So it's, it's in the middle, but I would say that specifically obviously left to right dead center is the

best. Yes. But I think that the best seat is usually most theaters nowadays. They have kind of an upper area where there's some- There's stadium seating. Yeah, the stadium seating, where there's kind of the first row where you're going up. So it's, you walk in and there's seats on the level that you walk in and then you climb stairs

to go to the rest. How many stairs do you climb? The first stair climb is the best seat. And here... Oh, so you're actually pretty close. I'm decently close, yeah. Interesting. But I don't have to...

You don't ever hurt your neck there or feel uncomfortable ever. You're about to give us the reason. So I am very close and... Because he's always done it that way. A lot. Exactly. And a lot of times times those seats are right in

front of the area where there aren't any seats. They're like the accessible, the accessibility. Yeah, that's tough work. But they got the bars there then too. Right. That's right. And you get to put your feet up on the bars with the best seats in the house. That's prime. Now if the bars were in front of every seat, would you go higher? No, I do think that the-

I would go a little higher. I think the first row- I'm up. You're not all the way up, are you? No, no, I'm about like- You're not on makeout row. No, no, no, I'm not a heathen in the back where I'm not trying to watch a movie.

I'm like probably three rows from the top. Oh, that's pretty high. I go way up there. I want the whole view, no, even no partial head movement. I want my eyes to be able to take it all in. I'm right in between where you two are. I'm not as low as Jason, I'm not as high as you are. I'm right in the middle.

You're the Goldilocks. I'm the Goldilocks of this situation. Let me tell you. But I will choose the bar over the Goldilocks. Let me tell you why my seat is better than yours. Okay, please do. You can pee faster? Obviously. End of case, yes. I can pee faster. No, it's because, I agree with you, Mike, no head movement. You cannot have to move your head one inch to the left or right to see some change on the screen. But I don't. You don't have to in those seats. Oh, you just attempt. There's a temptation.

There's no temptation. There's a temptation. You're at max peripheral. You are at max peripheral, which is exactly what you want. That's too much. You're in the scene. It's the biggest version of the screen. How much of Mike's choice is a little bit of being away from the biggest part of the crowd?

Are you trying to get away from the group? No. Because if you're in the dead middle, I mean you're really surrounded. Yeah, I'm not trying to avoid people. I mean I'm not buying the seat right next to... No, monsters do that. Unless that thing is sold out Come on put a seat in between. I will say the

the how it's Reserving your seat is incredible, but I can see there there is a weak point from the the theaters standing because when I buy my ticket and Someone's in you know like the best spot and it's pretty patchy. You're like, I will just go one seat over. So now a single person, if they want to sell that ticket, it has to be someone who's going to the movie by themselves. Whereas before you just run in and fill it up. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And they were so small. The seats were so small back then and I can't have a mr. Manager coming back be like, oh everyone, uh, we're sold out

We need you all to get up and pinch in because we all tried that back in the day You would leave the seat and then they'd come scold you and tell you to move over can't do that anymore This is my seat that just tells me that the day of the cattle call Airplane boarding has to end. Oh, it does I can't stand that There's really only the one. Yeah I know Southwest. Get it together. Just sell your seats. Yeah we're all fine picking them. Alright one more real quick. Sam wants to know what the dumbest way you've ever been injured was. I know mine. Mine was sitting down. And not sitting down as in like a verb.

That's just where I was seated, seated down, um, which I think I've had multiple, uh, I've hurt a knee and I've had a calf spasm and my calf spasm. We have a video of it. You haven't ever seen it because you know, we, we've got security cameras in here. We are sitting, uh, I believe we were interviewing a potential hire for the website. Who got the job? At a pity, because he had to deal with you getting electrocuted. That's what the video looks like. I am sitting down and all of a sudden I start basically... Convulsing. If you took a fish out of the water,

Yes. and you put him on the ground, he flops, and back and forth and back and forth, that's what was happening to my butt. I thought Jason was legitimately having a stroke. Oh man. I was so concerned. And yeah, you had an issue. Yeah, and the best part of that video is actually you two,

because Andy is immediately just so concerned and Mike could care less. I'm taking it all in. He was about to act. Look I need to analyze the situation. Panic doesn't it does no one any good. I do remember being a child and running running on the pool decking so the pools out here in Arizona and one leg going in the water and one leg Oh, yeah staying out. Yeah, I mean there was a bit Didn't stay out too long. There was a bruise. Oh, no, it was a big bad big bad a bruise Yeah in an area that should not ever be bruised in an area that hurts a lot to be bruised

So I know that was a dumb one of the dumb ways that I've been injured before. Oh, I just feel that dumb. I just remembered mine. Okay. This was as I mean, this is like a kid. I mean, so a youth and as youth do, we're just doing stupid stuff. Like, and for whatever reason, at this moment, we're, I'm at my cousin's house and we're just we're throwing we're throwing golf balls into just into the grass in his backyard and I let one rip so happens to that technology yeah I mean this is how we entertain ourselves I hit the the patio beam oh no it came? It came right back dead in the forehead and I had like an imprint of the golf ball in my forehead. You could have taken your eye out. For multiple days. Oh my god. There was the

divots and everything. So this hole was like right by you? Yeah. Oh that is unbelievable. That is spectacular. I mean that's that's the dumbest way to be injured. And to have to tell people, because it's on your forehead. You got to mark your stupidity right on your forehead. Oh man, I wish that was on video. That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. All right, let's draft. The Spitballers Draft.

Just see the word ping right on his forehead with the divot. All right, today we are drafting the worst parts of being an adult. Jason being the most adult of all of us gets to start this draft. I'm a real grown up. And there's really, there's two, there are two top picks to me. Okay. I keep kind of going back and forth on which one to take,

but I think this almost encompasses everything. It goes further than you think at first glance because a lot of the other things you have to do as an adult all come back to this original problem. Mm-hmm. It's bills. Okay. It's just bills. You gotta pay for stuff. I mean, when you, that's like the number one biggest problem of being an adult is all of a sudden money is your task and you have to take care of it.

You need it. You need it forever. You don't need it as a kid. And you don't just get it. As a kid, I mean maybe you gotta work from some chores. Right. But you probably also get an allowance or, you know, when you go to dinner, I'm not charging my kids.

How'd you get that money? I waited a week. Right. Yeah, you have clothes, you have everything you need as a kid. Yeah, so bills I think are the number one problem for adulthood. Okay, and I get where you were going between your picks. I'm going to have to answer job. Okay. You don't have to answer job. Okay.

You don't have to have a job as a kid. That is correct. Whenever my kids tell me that they are like too busy or have too much to do, you know, I get it. Like school is their job, right? That's the job that they have as kids, but it's not nine to five. And so I think the job is the thing like you can't be

an adult without a job. So the job you know obviously people have better jobs and worse jobs. I like my job so in that respect I'm one of the few that would not look at it as a hindrance to doing what I want to do but for the majority of the world the job is the obligation that stands in the way of getting to pursue anything that you enjoy doing. Because you got bills. Because you got bills. You know I'm not arguing with that. And then it perpetuates itself, right? You get your job, you got your bills, you get better at your job, you do things that give you more bills. So I'm

gonna go with the job as being the worst part of being an adult. All right, so I get two picks here. I mean, my list is bountiful. It's just, where do you start? I will, I'm gonna start with this one. You are tired all the time. When am I not tired? Never.

I have just gotten the longest, most refreshing sleep of my life, 12 hours. I mean, look, I guess I'm not tired when you're waking up and you have the coffee and then you're tired. I mean, it's maybe 30 minutes. Yeah, I was gonna say an hour. And it's usually like, to me, it's 30 minutes after you're awake.

You get one hour of being not tired and it's back to time. Yeah, I mean it's a great pick. I had it down as needing more sleep, which is the same thing, you're always tired. There's nothing quite like being an adult and having people see you when you don't think you're tired and they just say, wow, you look tired. Oh man.

It's a huge compliment. I showed up at my 95 year old grandmother's house and the first thing she said to me when I walked in the door was you look tired Wow Boomshakalaka Society We need to agree on a couple things here of like number one No matter how sure and this is a false rule no matter how you are that a lady is pregnant

You never ask you never ever ask like, they give you the information, or they're like. If that shirt doesn't say, I'm expecting on it. Yes. Right. And stop asking people if they're tired, because number one, of course they are, because they're an adult. So you know the answer.

And two, you're saying, you look bad. Yeah, that is what you're saying. You want to know what makes someone look tired? Their eyes are droopy. You got the dark black circles. Exactly. This is not a compliment. It is like literally the one that

gets under my skin the most. I don't know how to fix it, man. Yeah, it's crazy because there is no other commonly accepted insult. But that is just an insult. Yes, it is. There's not any other adjective that you can use. You're just insulting someone when you say, oh, you look tired. You're not giving advice of like, you should catch up on your sleep. Hey, stop. Your grandma

wasn't like, let's call this off. You look like you need to go home and go through. That's right. It's just, no, hey, thanks for showing up. You look like crap. You look real bad go to sleep it's just no hey thanks for showing up you look crap bad yeah I was like you look old all right all right so always tired great first pick I'm gonna I'm gonna combo that with when speaking of just of ridiculous ways that you can get injured as an adult you can do this thing called, I slept wrong, and now my neck hurts.

Like the most ridiculous thing, you're like, oh, I did it wrong. I did a normal thing wrong somehow. I did a normal thing that where I'm not in control anymore of my body, it's just gonna do what it does as it's recharging. So what are you calling that? You slept wrong.

Okay. Okay. I had body breaking down. Just take that. Yeah. It just it sucks because when you're young, your body does whatever you want it to do. Yeah. You don't think about it. That's the biggest thing about being an adult is you actually have to think about, oh boy, if I do this, then X. As a kid, you just do things, and then you're also fine. You remember when I got injured sitting down? I was doing nothing! Yeah, I think the... I've recently started to... I've had huge neck problems, but in the last, I don't know, six months, I've tweaked my neck bad, two times. One, I believe I was reaching down into the laundry basket

to get a sock. And the other one, I was drying my hair after a shower. And that's- These are not. And then I felt my neck go and went, oh, uh-oh, well there's a week. Shouldn't have dried my hair. Right, these aren't like, oh man, you must have played a big game of football.

No, I was drying my hair. All right, that's a good one, good one. I will go with gaining weight. Yep, yep, been there. The older you get, the easier it is. Everybody always told, I was the skinniest kid growing up. Everybody always told me. Enjoy your metabolism.

Someday, I was like, oh, this metabolism will last last forever it's called Haagen-Dazs metabolism I could have a pint tonight and not notice it but once you hit a certain age you have to eat well or you will gain weight the best part though is you actually you can eat well you can exercise on the reg and still not have the physique that you think you deserve for all of the work that you're putting into it. You're just not getting fat as quick. It's slowing the fatness down.

And it is a- You can't hold it off. It's a tricky thing because you go, oh, tomorrow my metabolism will be worse than today. So you gotta work harder every day. But that's what I'll go with is the progressive weight gain of getting older. Yeah metabolism is at the top of my list because man I miss it. Yeah. I really really miss it and I and I'm so jealous that we all know people

that just have a crazy metabolism. They don't eat good at all. They eat worse than I do. They don't ever think about a diet ever and they're like a rail and of course they're like I wish I could put on weight but you know we all want what we aren't all right so I've got bills we all do and I'm gonna go this was the other one that when I think of like the downsides of being an adult that you just don't have as a child are responsibilities. Sure. You're responsible for everything. It's your job. Who takes the garbage out? It might be your chore, but who's responsible? Me. Who's responsible for everything? You want food on the table? Yep. Go buy it. You actually have non-stop responsibilities and as a kid the free I remember thinking How free being an adult is you get to choose?

Everything as a kid do what you want you you you you get taken where they say to go you got to do it No, but the but it's actually the reverse as As a kid, you're free. You have no responsibility. Homework, like your one responsibility? As a grownup, that's like, if I go through the checklist of my day, I am just doing responsibilities all day until I get to watch TV. Like, that's why I watch so much TV.

And if you paid the cable bill. Right, right, because bills and responsibilities. Okay. The next one here, man, the list. You're making a real strong list for not being an adult here. Yeah. Bills and responsibilities.

Okay, this one I'm going a little deeper. Ooh. A little bit more philosophical. Oh. Okay, this one I'm going a little deeper, a little bit more philosophical. I'm talking about the loss of your potential. You know when you're a kid you can do anything. What job do you wanna be? It's on my list, loss of potential. Those exact words.

What? Those exact words. Wow. Because it means something Psychologically to you to think that you could become anything if you wanted to yeah, and you lose it I'm not gonna be a doctor like it's just it's even if you wanted even if I wanted to I don't have The potential to do anything in the world I might not be an MBA my course and is set, and there are things like that,

like the NBA, like when I was a kid, I genuinely dreamed of being in the NBA. I know, long shot, whatever, but that was a dream. Once you get past certain age points, those things are just, they are factually gone. The potential to do anything doesn't exist anymore. My path has been charted, And now I am an adult. Yeah. With a with an arrow pointing very clearly in my direction. Oh, I thought you

meant to death. Oh, sure. Yes. Okay, so the loss of potential, I had it written down exactly like you did. Because I agree. That's one of those things that is, it's a strange thing as you grow. And you accept it. I'm not. Look, I mean, you accept those things. And you accept it. I'm not, look, I mean, you accept those things and you're thankful for the blessings that you have. But obviously, if you, you know, you check some things off the list,

you're not probably doing the cross-country motorcycle tour before you have kids when you have three kids and a spouse. So, okay, it's my pick? It is. Okay. Let, let's see here. I understand you have to check. I'm going to go with a very simple one. Uh, I'm going to go with no summer vacation.

It's on my list. No summer vacay. As a kid, not only does time go slower, right? Because less of it has gone by in your life. So just, it just does. Like the, the perception of time is so much slower that summer vacation felt way longer than it does now. Yeah. I mean, my, my youngest kid, a year is 10% of his entire life. Exactly. It's that's a big deal.

My chunks are getting much smaller. Yeah. It's a 40th of my life. Yeah. So I would say that the summer vacation, there's nothing like that day, the day school ended. And in Arizona, for us, it was, you know, ironically, it was library trips, it was going to swimming the whole summer long, playing sports, watching cartoons.

Summer vacation, it's such a good memory. It's just nice to have giant breaks. Yeah. And you don't get that as an adult. We literally just tried, as a company, to give ourselves one conjoined week off together with our kids on spring break and realized we can't even do that because of certain shows

that we have to do. We have responsibility. Yes. Yeah. So I will go no summer vacation. Mike? All right to do. We have responsibility. Yes. Yeah, so I will go no summer vacation. Mike? All right, so I will have my- So that was on your list too?

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, no summer vacation. The three month block is since it, like planning a week long vacation is a struggle, man. You have to line up so many different things. And if one tiny piece doesn't fit into the week, I'll be like, well, yeah, blow that up. Let's find a whole different week and let's start it all over again. All right.

For my final two, this one, it, I mean, it can fall under responsibility, but I think it's so specific and it's the worst and it's, it's just, it's dinner slash meal prep. Yep. That is the absolute You've been saving on a 20 year tirade against meal prep I I find no joy none from the from the preparing of the meal There's a lot of people that do but I find nothing you loathe it. I you're definitely at loathing Oh, I'm past loathing because I I will have loathing I will have

I'll have like Anxiety attacks wizard. I'm trying to do the three things at the same time that other people can easily do I can't handle it And I'm like I'm burning things over here What's your number one emergency meal if things go south like you thought you were gonna meal plan your third? Right is the bottom of the barrel you the barrel you will allow for a single, is it peanut butter and jelly, is it cereal? For the family or for the family? Like if you had to, what can you get away with? 1-800-PIZZA. Yeah I was gonna say pizza, it's always pizza. If you need a fallback it's pizza. But if it's like, if it's stuff that I have,

probably have in the house, I mean you're looking at like buttered noodles. It's always noodles for me too. Buttered noodles, alright. Spaghetti. I like buttered noodles. Yeah, they're good, but you're like, Al dente. Al dente.

Yeah. I'll take crispy noodles. I mean, I don't ever desire it. It's good once you have it, but I don't ever think like, man, can't wait for dinner in those butter noodles. Your food does just show up for you as a kid.

Yes. It's what makes it so annoying when your kids complain about it. Oh my gosh. Or they don't come and sit down when I'm like hey dinner's ready. They're like yeah I'll be there when I'm there. Like I just spent an hour and like and I'll spend the hour cooking. You know how long that that food's gonna take me to eat? Two5 seconds I know like the time it's just a waste I don't know I'm not necessarily prescribing this but I did just here on a parenting podcast

that the mom had set up a rule where if you complain about the contents of dinner on that night the consequence was the next day it's's the same thing. Was no, I thought about it. That's what I thought she was going to say. No, it's rice and water day. Oh, and you can have it. If it happens the next day, rice and water for all three meals. Interesting. They call it gratitude day.

If so there's a gratitude day. And then, and then, so they asked her how many times, if you had to do it. She said twice Only two times because after that, you know how they know you was this podcast on Abusive parenting. Yeah, like I said, I'm not necessarily do is it just plain white rice? Yeah, I mean right wise right Well, right right rice and water. Yeah, okay I mean you can get through and you have for sure well I'm saying it's like if you butter up some white rice like oh Start angling for it on purpose. I love rice. It's delicious. All right anyways gone

All right, my last pick this one's a little more philosophical as well I'm going with imposter syndrome of Like you spend your whole life growing up and when I become an adult, or because you look at the adults, they have the answers. Like they're the ones they take care of everything, they know what they're doing. I will eventually grow into that.

And then you realize, Oh no. You're like, no, I'm actually still that child. I know more things now, but I don't have the confidence in the answers for my children that I thought you would have at that time. That I thought I would have.

I thought my parents had. It's also that realization of like, oh, holy crap, my parents are just people. Yeah, they're just kids that are older too. They don't unlock the like wisdom box at a certain age. Yeah. So it's just, it's bizarre when you get to a certain age of realizing that aha moment, it's never gonna show up. You're still gonna have tons of things that you're expected to know how to do, but you

just don't know how to do it. I think, I do think we all feel kind of like big kids still. I definitely do. But we're all adults. Yes, but then you look in the mirror and you go, oh man, you look tired. Is it a bunch of kids pretending to be adult? Yes, is that what we are? That is exactly what the entire world is It's all kids. Some of them are just older That's it. All right. All right. So for my final pick I have the job the weight gain the no summer vacation

There's a couple in contention here. Which one do I go with? I want to leave one for Jason that I think he could go with. But if he doesn't, it'll be funny anyways. So I think I am going to go with not enough time. And that could mean a couple different things. That could mean on the long scale- That's why pausing is an ultimate superpower. On the long scale, you have less time in life, right? Presumably. Not that anybody couldn't go at any time,

but you got less time on average. And in your day, you just feel like you got less time. By the time you get done with all these, let me go through them, Bill's responsibilities, you're tired, you get to the end of the day. And the amazing thing is you're like, I finally have time, I'm gonna do everything. Yes.

As soon as you're ready to do everything you thought you were gonna do. That's why the TV goes on, cause it's like, man. If I could lay here. I can't do anything else. Like sleeping, but not with my eyes open. Entertain me, box.

All right, Jason, let's see what you go with for your final pick. Alright this one, man I could go so I've still got so many things on my list that I love like going to the DMV which I won't draft but that is an adult problem. When's the last time you were there? Oh it's been forever I will do anything to not come. They have reduced the requirement for you to be there as often. I haven't been to the DMV. It's been forever. I will do anything to not come. They have reduced the requirement for you to be there as often.

I haven't been to the DMV. It's been a good 10 years. I think since I haven't been there, I think we changed my wife's name there or something. You can do a lot online now. But go on. We're doing great work over there. Eliminating them. Let's eliminate that. There's two here.

OK, I'm going to go with one of these is just for men. And so I will save that for the undrafted gems. Instead, I'm going to go with losing cool. Yeah. Losing touch with what's cool? Yeah, like eventually. OK, you're not hip anymore. Yeah, you're just. What's cool? Yeah, like eventually. Oh, okay, you're not hip anymore. Yeah, you're just. What's that like?

And you can't. Talk to me in one meter, Mike. Oh, I'm not cool. Because you can't get it back, right? Right, like you can't. Then you're the least cool if you're trying to get it back. It's kind of exactly like what you were saying where you realize you're still a kid,

but on the opposite side, because kids look at us and it's like, well, you can't be cool anymore. You just can't. It doesn't matter how cool you are. It doesn't matter what you do. You're just an old person trying to be cool. Yeah, exactly.

You're an old person trying to be cool. You can't be cool anymore. And I think that's the way. Grandma with her leather jacket. That's the way to put it, can't be cool anymore. Once you're an adult at a certain age, it's just off the table. I agree. I agree.

Was the other one the hair related one? Yes. I would push back. Some of the ladies have to deal with balding as well. Absolutely. No, no, no, no, no, no. Mine specifically is hair growth patterns, meaning the hair stops on the head, but starts on the back.

Yeah. It starts on the feet. I'm probably 10 years away from it, like completely growing out of my ears, just to a degree that I've got to really take care of business. I mean, what happens with the hair? It's very strange. Graying and all sorts of, it's just like the hair stinks.

The extra hair growth is like, what is... Yeah, why did it stop for so long? Yeah, what is the genetic instigator? Like, help, is it, because you're older, so your body thinks you'll be colder? Like, you won't be able to handle the ice age as well, so now we need to get more hair on you.

It makes sense why my hair stops growing, right? My follicles are dying, I'm getting older, whatever. Why am I starting to grow new hair in places that don't need hair? They didn't die, they just relocated. They're like, I don't want to be up here anymore. Maximal total hair. No, a lot of what you had was on my list too, Jay. We were aligned there. I didn't have much more, I mean taxes could've been another. I felt like bills and taxes is almost the same thing. Closer to death, I joked about that.

Death is on my list because you're actually all around it now, you get to an age where all of a sudden your parents will eventually not be around and you just see it more and of course you are closer to the door. Yeah, no question. Making appointments. Oh, I hate, that's a good one. Your mom and dad always did that stuff for you.

Yeah, the reason I don't take care of certain things of my life and like my physical hygiene, not because I don't want to do it, it's because I don't want to call those people and set things up. I would love to go to the doctor. Yeah. I don't want to make a doctor's appointment. That part is a nightmare.

Mine- There's the imposter syndrome again. Yes. You thought your parents loved it. When you were growing up, oh, they're so good at making appointments. Nope, they didn't. I have on my list,

you have dinners that you hate, that is the bane of your existence that you just have to do because it's one of your responsibilities. Laundry, that's on my side. Like, as a kid, Yeah, it just showed up clean. Yeah, you just have an unlimited supply of clean clothes.

It was great. It's really the, like, it's the folding. Because the laundry process doesn't bother me. It's that when you have to get everything out of the dryer and you're like, how is everything so messed up? My wife offered me $10 to fold her laundry yesterday. She walked in the room and I was laying down on the phone and she goes, 10 bucks if you wanna do this.

And she dumped it out. All right, there you go. We'll do eight best parts of being an adult. I promise there are some pretty cool aspects. We can maybe get the four rounds from them. Yeah, maybe. What did we learn today? Well I learned what imposter syndrome was and I totally relate to it.

Yeah, you feel like you never belong. I still feel like I'm a little kid. I don't feel much different mentally than when I was 20. Yes. And I'm almost 40. I learned that. So, I didn't learn a lot in the last 18 years. I learned that Mike threw a golf ball in his face.

Oh, that was brilliant. And let's, did I learn anything? Probably not. I just, I mean, I've learned definitively if I could stop time, I'm not doing anything good except other than sleeping That's fair. You just want 12 more hours in the day. That would be fine Someone's like you look rested Hey tell your friends about the podcast will be neck or be back next week something like that. Goodbye

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.