Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Ferret Bowling & The Best Fruits - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: February 15, 2024

Spit Hit for February 15th, 2024: On this episode, we talk about killing hamsters, magic carpet rides, and magnetic underpants. Sounds pretty par for the Spitballers course to be honest. We also misspell some elementary level words and draft our favorite fruits. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. oh boy you know wait you pushed the mic away he felt content with your your face he's done this is the moment of relief so that was the i'll be back next show i'm i'm out of here that was the one that was it that was perfection uh well i mean huh my what i did what i came away from was weird you know how in some cultures uh they all speak one language but different villages have a maybe like a variant of the language sure sure so i i think we're all trying to speak scat here. Yes.

But then there's like Mike's got his own version of the scat language. Jason has his own, which he wants to get fulfilled in perfection. Obviously, I speak Badingi. So, I mean, I think we all have our own. I mean, it's 204 episodes. There's probably no more words left. No, our dialect is established at this point. Welcome into the spitballers.

Really, really bad English. Questionable whether they're actually scads. Jason, always have a poo-ha. That's one of the native... He finishes in that same timbre of the... Yeah, I don't know how to land what no what happens is what here's my visualization just so you guys know i am paragliding and it's going well the boat has pulled me out and the and the the chute is open behind me i am up in the air like a beautiful kite

and and it is it is just going along wind the hair. My scat is going X. Your hair? Well, no, like if I had hair, it would be like, oh, so like. Wind in the beard. Wind in the beard. And everything's going great. And then I realize like, oh, well, this is done now. It's not going to last forever.

I've detached. I don't know how to get down from this paraglide. And he cuts all the strings. I cut the string and fall into the ocean. Did you know that if you just hold on, it will eventually go down? Yeah, the ride ends. Organically.

The music stops. I have to be done. What if I just keep going long after the music is over? It would be a first time. Well, stay tuned for three episodes from now. Would you rather Highway to Spell and Redrafting? Oh, gosh. The best fruits on today's show which that's tremendous because it's delicious the draft

yeah well and fruit fruit like it's really really good fruit oh see no you need you got to step back and just fruit is so before baked goods baked goods existed, fruit was good. Well, sure. I mean, but as far as- What's making your baked goods better over there? Frosting? It's not vegetables. That's for sure.

Yeah, you're right. It's probably fruit. Oh, it's so good. Yeah, and the picks. I mean, the choices. I have a problem already today. Too many fruits. Well, there are a lot of fruit, like i've got the one-on-one

and i have a favorite fruit by far but you won't take it because it won't win in the polls no i don't know if it will or not but i don't i don't think i've ever heard either of you speak too highly of this fruit oh okay like i want to try it yeah you'll be playing the game yeah so we'll see all right uh well it'll be fun. And we'll get into that shortly. Like I said, my favorite segment, Highway to Spell, obviously, on today's show. And you can follow us over on Twitter at SpitballersPod, Jason at JasonFFL, Mike at FFHitman. I'm at Andy Holloway.

SpitballersPod.com is the website. Let's get it going. Holloway, spayballerspie.com is the website. Let's get it going. Would you rather? Sean from Twitter. While house sitting, would you rather kill your friend's plants that they have been growing for years or their pet hamster? So you're house sitting. You're responsible for keeping the pets alive.

What kind of question is this? Yeah, obviously it's the plants. I mean, is it? Okay. I mean, it doesn't matter how many years you've been growing a plant. It's still a plant. Yeah. Like, no one harvests.

Although I guess specifically hamsters I would kill. Look, a hamster is very replaceable. It is very replaceable. That's true. Do you treat it like the goldfish of the land? I see where you're going. Right, you know what I'm saying? If you flush a hamster is what I'm saying. If I had a hamster, it would be devastating if it was consequentially murdered by whoever was taking care of it.

But the person who's taking care of my hamster, there is a 65% chance they could run to the pet store, get a similar hamster, and I may not notice. That's true. That's in the range of outcomes here for a hamster. I once tried to set a hamster free in the wild because I was tired of having it as a pet. So you just tried to kill it slow. That's also killing a hamster.

You tried to kill the hamster just a little slower. We set it out going into the forest because that's where hamsters live. I'm not even joking. Hamsters are from the forest? I don't know why my parents. Did you research this? Of course not. I don't know why my parents permitted this.'s where hamsters live. I'm not even joking. Hamsters are from the forest? I don't know why my parents. Did you research this? Of course not. I don't know why my parents permitted this.

Where are hamsters from? Hamsters are from nowhere. The toilet. But we literally, I set the hamster out. We were so, hamsters, public service announcement, never get a hamster. Hamsters are stupid, dumb creatures. They sleep during the day. They're up at night.

They want to break out of their cage. They won't use their tubes. They'll bite you if you hold them they're evil they'll poop everywhere cleaning their cages suck they are it's like opting into misery so i tried to release one into the wild where they live in the wild and then once i put the i put it down i started to walk away like a moment from a movie like you're letting the you know saying goodbye to the creature that needs to live in the wild and i got about 10 feet walking back to the car and then a bird got it no but i glanced i had better perspective of where i had set it and i glanced back and there were snake holes for miles i mean i was like i was putting it into a snake minefield

and so i picked it back up and we donated it oh. Oh, you didn't go like, oh, look at all these hamster holes. Here, go ahead and write it, fella. But I don't know how we convinced our parents that this was the best solution. That is. Why did they let us do that? Like, that's a kid's scheme that kids pull off, and then when the parents go, where's the hamster? You say, well, we released it. Everybody knows.

It's not that they're involved. What you're supposed to do with the hamster, which is to throw it over the fence into your neighbor's yard well gently drop it make sure it's still okay i heard al back there he was in on that i can't imagine what i would think if i'm let's say i'm out camping and a hamster comes like there's no hamsters in the wild. Just be like, hey, check this out. Look at the little hamster. I mean, he has no way to defend himself whatsoever. No way to get food. I mean, there's no hamsters in the wild. It's a slow death, so don't do that.

If you have a problem with your neighbor, this is such a low-key revenge. Where did these hamsters come from? Think about this. Someone drops a hamster in your backyard. You got to figure out what to do with this hamster. You may have to now take care of this hamster. What if their child comes

out? Can we keep this hamster? Now they got a hamster problem. That was going to be one of the questions I had was, it does matter to me if this family, was it a kid's hamster or was it an adult's hamster? now they got a hamster problem that was going to be one of the questions i had was it does matter to me if this family was it a kid's hamster or was it an adult's hamster there's no adult hamster that's not an option this i mean no adults get hamsters no no adults are too smart to get hamsters that's why the one difficulty in saying okay plants versus hamster what's better to kill no adult would come home and ever, under any circumstance, the plants that they have been growing for years,

thank you for killing them. That would not happen. Right. But there is a situation where you come home and you go, dude, thank you. I've been wanting to do this for years. It's not my fault. Hey, little Timmy, it's Uncle Jack that did it, okay?

He's the reason you don't have a hamster anymore. So we all say, hold on, Al, you should have brought this up. We've talked about it before on the show. Why? Is it an Arizona thing? I don't know. I do it too, but. So we all say hamster with a P?

Yeah. Hamster. Oh, I even spelled it with a P. Wait, it's how I would spell it on today's show? Hamster. Hamster. Oh, I even spelled it with a P. I went to spell it today. Hamster. Hamster. Like hamper. But it's not.

There's no P in the word. No, there's not. It's just like a hunk of ham. Hamster. Hamster should be more delicious. No, I like what you're saying there. And if you were like dating somebody and they're like, oh, do you want to see my place? And they had a pet hamster. Wouldn that be that's a red flag that's a

yeah because hamsters don't live long enough to be like this is the hamster from my childhood right it's a new hamster we all know it is because they don't live that long or it is the hamster from their childhood and it's just been replaced several times by the parents and they don't know why do hamsters even exist i don't know what like it's the same thing with ferrets ferrets are hamsters but they smell oh oh they're the worst i had a ferret growing up oh no we had an aviary you were that kid what's the aviary have to do with the hamster they had to feed it to all the birds no we had like a big walk-in uh but an aviary is a bunch of rodents you put some that's where that's where our our

where you kept the uh ferret our fair lived in the fair in an aviary yes it was just like wings just free to gallivant hold on is an aviary the wrong word yeah i hope so that's a place for birds yeah well i mean you could put any animals a an aviary, right? A large cage and enclosure for keeping birds in. Okay. What is the same enclosure that you put other animals in? Like a rooster paddock? Like a coop? Is it like a terrarium?

Hey! Oh, okay. There we go. Is there a walk-in terrarium? Is that a thing? Samsonite. Samsonite. I was way off.

Anyways, we had in our backyard this walk-in and it was in the backyard and it stunk so bad. The backyard stunk because ferrets are awful.

They are also, they scratch the heck out of you. They'll bite you. They're not nice. There's no redeeming quality of a ferret. There aren't actually any childhood pets that are quality other than dogs. Dogs are the best. All right. I had to do it. So you Google, why do ferrets stink?

Top result here from PetMD. Two buttholes. Ferrets, like other carnivorous animals, have anal glands that secrete a scent particular to their species. And then, quote, their anal glands are very strong smelling scent and territory marking glands. So they stink because they got stank butt. Now, hold on. And people are like, just come on into my home here, stinky butt. And we're talking about this, and we all know that ferrets are stupid.

But then Al jumps in to our slack channel and al you said we had two ferrets and they were dope yeah so what'd you do with the ferrets what made them dope we did you got oh you have the sinus problems you probably never smelled them they stunk but we we like to bowl with them we'd set up cans you would bowl them yeah they loved it you throw a hamster, you'd bowl a ferret? We would roll the ferret across our kitchen floor, knock down cans, and they'd come running back for more. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Was the door behind you? They're trying to escape.

No. I don't think that they enjoyed it. I was making a joke. You can roll a ferret? No, you can't roll a ferret. You can. You cannot. Can you roll a ferret? You can't legally roll a ferret? No, you can't roll a ferret. You can. You cannot. Can you roll a ferret?

You can't legally roll a ferret. That is unbelievable. I don't believe. I think, genuinely, you have a made-up memory. I don't think that this happened in your youth. But, like, you had a dream, and it was a great dream. You woke up one day, and it was so realistic, and you're like, oh, we were bowling our ferrets. And then now you think it really happened.

This did not happen. I can't believe this story. What was that? Sorry, I was watching a video of ferret bowling. Oh, man. No, this is like a new people too? Made by him. Wow.

Ferret bowling. Final answer, I'd rather kill the plants. I think I've changed to hamster. I thought at first like well you know but is this execution or is this just not feeding no it's an accident no I'm not like twisting the hamster's head off I'm just oh no he's not alive today

okay you're welcome well that was a journey that we went on well he seems to have escaped yeah he's crafty I'm watching a ferret bowl Well, he seems to have escaped. Yeah. He's crafty. Yeah. Okay.

I'm watching a ferret bowl. I'm not watching people literally bowl a ferret. I just, you better. It's more likely that a ferret could grab a bowling ball and bowl it down a lane than it is that you could bowl an actual ferret. You could ball it into a ball and roll it like a bowling ball. PETA is on the way. Oh, man. No, they don't care about ferrets.

Bryce from Patreon. patreon old stink butt uh would you rather be the son of the president of the united states no or become close friends of the famous celebrity one of those sounds awesome yeah and one of those genuinely sounds awful because i i think being the son or daughter of the President of the United States that seems neat and novel in theory like oh is that called the first kid? Yeah the Bruce Willis movie?

But it's like the expectation of every single thing in your life, the lack of privacy, the scrutiny and the judgment. You go out with judgment you go out with uh the security this is a service for yeah i mean there's what is the redeeming aspect your pops is the president yeah access to everything forever always i mean you you get to write books for for as long as you want

i've always thought that the because you have uh you talk about the son of the president i've also thought about you know the kids of the the queen right and being in the royal family they call those princes and princes right right and to me the only thing that would be redeeming about being a part of the royal family or being part of the like presidential thing is growing up without it and then being granted it you know you find out your great uncle owns you know a countryside he's the dutch dutch princess diaries thank you thank you thank you it's a great document and then you appreciate it but like if you grow up with it if you're five years old when you're when your father's the president and you have to live the rest of your life in that you don't actually know

it as a privilege you only know it as life do you know what i'm saying sure like if you're like the royal family it's awful but i think you eventually recognize your place of privilege i would hope i don't think you you might recognize it intellectually but i don't think from a living life standpoint you never would know what you have better than somebody you can recognize it but you don't realize it you know what's his butt left right yeah one of them one of the old sons one of the princes yeah what's his butt i don't know he left um yeah i mean but he's still got piles of privilege he still gets allowances is he still a prince or once removed formerly once removed prince once removed um plus he's married to Meghan Markle or whatever.

But being close friends of a famous celebrity, I mean, what's the downside there? You're going to go to way more fun events than what the president is going to get you in. And you're not the one getting asked for autographs. Well, I mean, that part sucks. But yes, I've seen Entourage and Turtle and company. They live a pretty good life.

Mike is 100% movie or TV references on today's show. I'm just trying to connect with the people. It's the only way to relate with us. I guess I will be close friends with a celebrity. I mean, yes. Owl, you're close friends with a celebrity. I mean, yes. Owl. You're close friends with a celebrity. Three of them.

Yeah. What is it like being close friends with celebrities? Is it pretty cool? It's great. Yeah. I would take that. He gets access. Yeah.

People know the owl. He's not famous. We're famous and people know him. You just said people know the owl. Yeah. I guess you have a chance of being the president that is true that is definitely true i mean you have higher odds of being the president do you like your last name question is bush no there's a real question

would you want that i think i i think i would yeah i think i would do i think i would i don't i don't know to be the the president? Yeah. I mean. I would accept the presidency. I would not run for president. I think in some ways. But I would accept. I mean. You've seen the photos of first day in, last day out.

And you're like, that person is aged 25 years. Yeah. I think you could make a case that if the child of a former president became president, that's better than somebody that hasn't been i could easily make the opposite case as well well okay let me explain and then you explain your case all right because i was thinking that obviously to become president there's like a million different things you have to do. You've got to raise all this money. You have to contort your – let's just say it.

You have to contort your integrity. To finance it. To finance it. You've got to join the Illuminati. Obviously. But you have to do all those things to become the president. But if you're – I feel like you get advantages as the son of a previous president that maybe you don't have to do as much of that.

Yeah, which means there's not as much merit to your qualifications. We've seen it. Oh, no, no. I agree. But that's my point. There's not as much merit. Oh, okay. I see what you're saying.

See, the thing is, is he shouldn't have ever been the president. His dad was just the president. Yeah, we've seen it. I follow you now. Like, you need merit. But see, do any of the real ones have mayor anyways i believe my point here's here listen up america here we go i believe i've already had the platform i believe that there are in the history of humanity great leaders and there will always be new great leaders.

And those people have to stand on their own merit. That's my belief. In a system that does not value merit whatsoever. They will come around once every few generations. I believe. All right. Well, I hope so. I'm going to choose the celebrity in this case.

Oh, yeah. Give me the celebrity. Yeah, that's a good life, man. Now, in our case, I hope so. I'm going to choose the celebrity in this case. Oh, yeah. Give me the celebrity. Yeah, that's a good life, man. Now, in our case, though. Right. Wouldn't the celebrity be the friend of the celebrity? Yeah, but I'm your guy's friend. Oh, that's right.

So we're just choosing our own life. Oh, no. We've been over that. All right. Let's move on. Les from Patreon. Would you rather have a flying magic carpet with a top speed of 15 miles an hour? Like Aladdin.

Yes. Or, thank you, Mike. You didn't catch on that quick. No, it took me a second. Thank you, Mike, for chiming in and understanding this question. One moment, please. All right. Or a flying broomstick with a top speed of 25 miles an hour, like Harry Potter.

What, Hocus Pocus? Okay. Okay, that'll work.'ll work now I understand um so you've got let's talk about the advantages and disadvantages of magic carpet versus a broomstick magic carpet the obvious one safe yes way more safer also higher occupancy yeah you're not really sharing your stick you could fit four you could fit four on broomstick yep yep you can fit four on the on the magic carpet yeah in a pinch two is comfortable if they're kids you know put the kids in the back at least one significant other yeah or a magic carpet right two is max occupancy on a broomstick for sure two is max occupancy but you that's gonna cut that 25 mile an hour down a little probably and my fear why have you never seen that harry haven't seen what like the people

right and like like a riding on a motorcycle you need a bigger broomstick like a double-sized i have never until this question i've really never appreciated what harry potter did for broomsticks harry potter okay gave foot rests to broomstick yes and so there is a point of balance because if you is that in the book no that is not in the books that's in the movies uh otherwise i would have credited jk rowling she is not in the books. That's in the movies. Otherwise, I would have credited J.K. Rowling. She did not write the description. She didn't fix the broomsticks. No, she didn't. Okay.

Someone else did. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Nerd off. Andy is questioning my Harry Potter knowledge here. I'm questioning because I think maybe some of the sketches in the early books may have included the foot. I'm not positive. I don't know.

I don't know about there's a picture book uh well there's some sketches and did chapter openings and things like that yes that is true and there might have been a picture of one but you're saying a point of balance is the problem with the broomstick well let's get back to whether or not there were uh the the nerd off on the kick the footrests on the broomstick i don't believe in the text there were okay kick, the footrests on a broomstick. I don't believe in the text. There were, okay. You know,

footrests. So it's not canon. But thank you. I think it becomes canon once it's in the movie. And it was continuing on. I have never thought about this, but like if you're going 25 miles an hour on a broomstick and you don't have those footrests,

yeah, hold on for dear life. You're going to be hanging upside down. Rick, don't turn do not turn you gotta hug that thing and hold tight with your legs and your arms and go on a straight line because one little imbalance and you're hanging upside down you're spinning it seems like you need the broomstick to be made of metal and you need to wear like magnetetic underpants. So hold on to it. That's your solution?

That's my solution. I don't know if you know this. Because you can't put a saddle on it. Dink, dink. He can't figure out any solution like footrests that we were just talking about. I'm not sure the footrests do enough. Oh, certainly. Aren't the footrests way down by the broom?

Yeah, that's where your feet are. So you've got to be really. You've got a balance on your left foot, a balance on your right foot. It's like a tricycle. I'm trying to figure out if these are canon or not. Yeah, producers, get on that. We've got to figure out if. It's questionable.

Sorry, does that mean you'll take the slower cruise? I mean, I imagine on a magic carpet, the carpet's the one that's flying. Absolutely. Whereas on the broomstick, you're in control of it. You can't autopilot that. The carpet comes with autopilot. You're not napping on a broomstick. Wait, okay, well.

It also means they'll probably take the more efficient route because it's a carpet. This is a good question because I know that Aladdin, it's sentient. It's alive. Is that normal? I mean, when I think of magic carpet, that's the only thing I can think of right now. Is there any other situations or movies where they have one and it's just... Let me ask you this.

When have you ever seen somebody on a magic carpet where they take the reins? Do they take the reins? Like, how do you go somewhere? It's not like there's a screen. No, it's sentient. It has to have some knowledge, right? Don't you tell it? I mean, it's just like magic.

Magic powers. If you get on one right now, Mike, and let's pretend it's not sentient. All right. How do you get to the mall? Do you grab the corners and pull? I mean, what's the technique? You're sitting there. No, I mean, you go corners.

You got to... Like a horse? Like grab the technique? You're sitting there. No, I mean, you go corners. You got to. You got to. Like a horse? Like grab the reins? Yeah, exactly. No, you got it. And the harder you pull them, the faster you go? Well, you got to give a little kick.

Okay. Oh, you lean. It's like a Segway. The Segway of the sky. That's right. Why did we say that at the same time i don't know uh i am going to go believe it or not despite all of those attributes i'm going to go with the sexier broomstick pick oh you want this but i want the speed i want to be the motor it's the motorcycle versus the like what we have not highlighted here is 15 miles an hour and 25 miles an hour this is not neither of them are very fast this is not a bicycle versus a ferrari this is one one safe in a

yeah oh jason found something he confirmed that they're not canon is what he probably just did that is correct yeah uh i have found out that's good it's good to know yeah i mean this is important information the broomsticks were seen go Did you go to your forums, nerd? Yes, I did. Okay. Harrypotter.fandoms.com. Little shout out. The broomsticks were seen with a crossbar used as a footrest. These only appeared on the Nimbus 2000 and the Nimbus 2001 in the film versions of the

Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets. The crossbars on the broomsticks are not mentioned in the novels. Oh, baby. When do we do Harry Potter trivia? So SnapeFan431 over here just got his answer. How dare you, SnapeFan? That's the worst. Oh, my goodness.

Okay, so final answer. I'm going to go with the slightly sexier broomstick. I just think pulling up to an event in a broomstick is going to be a little bit cooler than being delivered on a – What kind of broomstick? Is this like an event in a broomstick is going to be a little bit cooler than being delivered on a... What kind of broomstick do you... Is this like old witch-looking broomstick? Or are you on like a modern-day broom? Like a kitchen broom?

That's not a Swiffer. The question has to be asked. It's got to have straw. Yeah. The magic is in the straw. Yeah, and I prefer, you know, like a... I don't know, a phoenix feather in the wood? In the straw. Yeah, and I prefer you know, like a phoenix feather in the wood.

I'm taking the magic carpet ride. My understanding from movies such as Aladdin is it is great for romance. And good luck falling asleep on your broomstick. No, it'd be a problem. I'm going to go carpet. California.

If I wear my magnetic underpants, I can fall asleep just fine. You fall asleep on that broom. That broom is not catching you. I fall off my rug. That rug is... That's true. Not if it only goes 15. That's a good point. If his max speed

is 15, he comes right down after me. I'm not fast enough. Basically, he's just got the best view of my dad. He just follows you down. He's just straight watching me plummet. Oh, my goodness. How fast do you fall? We've been over the bug.

We got to look up. How fast? Between 110 and 130 miles per hour. Yeah, that's a lot more. See you later, rug. Catch me. Curse Blatt. Oh, boy.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it was kind of incredible considering the magic carpet, part of the magic has to be keeping you on it because you're grabbing nothing. You're sitting in the middle of the sky. The carpet's going rigid. Right.

I mean, I'm just saying it should be really easy to fall off of yeah both of them should be very easy to fall off of uh all right we're moving on highway to spell and my palms are sweating all right um oh gosh I have won this before. Yeah, when I got handicapped. That's right. But you would have won it anyways. So you have. You're in it.

Who's starting today? Is it random? It's going to be our reigning champ, Andy. Oh, boy. And we are starting in seventh grade. What? Are we just trying to speed this thing along? Yeah, let's get to the draft.

Let's go. All right, Andy. Here's your seventh grade level word. No. I got to stay. Accurate. Oh, what? What is this?

Accurate? What is that voice? Okay. Do it again. Accurate. Oh, better. A-C-C-U-R-A-T-E. Accurate.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. My prediction for that word was accurate. I was a little worried about the one C versus two Cs, but I did write two Cs. Yeah. All right, Mike, here is your seventh grade level word. Okay. Culminate.

What? I've never heard of that word in my life. Me either. Culminate. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, that's... That's when a comet comes flying either. Culminate. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, that's... That's when a comet comes flying.

I heard culminate. Culminate? That's because it said culminate. Well, no, it's that... It's culminate. The word is culminate. But is it spelled culminate? Yes, it's spelled culminate. I mean, culminate. C-U-L-M-I-N-A-T-E. Oh, baby. That was great. there's nothing worse than going third in the first round where i spell the first two words right and now i'm just i i quit i i i'm

leaving you really do get sweaty always uh a l w-S. Here's your seventh grade level word. Nicely done. Sincerity. Oh, come on. Oh, that's a long one. Ask him to use it in a sentence. Oh, shoot. Oh, man.

I got the... Oh, you're struggling over there? I got the first letter? Yeah, I got the first letter for sure. This is great. Oh, no. I think you'll be all right. Yeah. I don't think I'm all right. You have two versions over there? I got two first letter for sure. This is great. I think you'll be all right. Yeah. I don't think I'm all right.

You have two versions over there? I got two versions of it here. I'm sure one of them might be right. All right. I think you wrote the same word twice. No. No? Those are different?

Those are different. All right. Let me see them again. Do I go with what I wrote first, which felt right? That's your gut, yeah. Or do I go with what I wrote second, which looks right? There's your gut. Or do I go with what I wrote second, which looks right? There are definitely two versions. I mean, let me see.

Okay. Sincerity. Can I hear the word one more time? Sincerity. Oh, okay. I see your difference in there. Sincerity. Sincerity.

Okay. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, you got it, man. Sincerity. You. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, you got it, man. Sincerity. Believe. S-I-N-C-E-R-E-T-Y. Oh, you son of a gun. Yeah, I mean, it's an I.

I don't know what's going on over there. You want to know the worst part of this whole thing, which obviously is me losing in round one on a seventh grade work. The second worst part of this thing is it was Mike saying, you got to believe that made me go with what my gut answer was first. Because I thought you were giving me a hint. I didn't know which one you wrote. No, I didn't know which one was first.

I thought about giving him a hint. You didn't know which one was first? How thought about giving him a hint. You didn't know which one was first? How do we write? Top down or bottom up? Well, sometimes when I'm writing it, you put it in the middle and you're like, I need more room. I'm going to the top.

You're saying he wasn't sincere? He was sincerity. Well, we're moving on. Okay. Eighth grade, Mike and I. See, now that you don't have to worry about anything anymore. Yeah, but who's the lucky one? Yeah, okay. My ham lucky one? Yeah, okay.

My hamster died. I'm okay. All right, Ada, here's your eighth grade level word. Besiege. Uh-oh. Besieged. B-E-S-I-E-G-E-D. Besieged.

Got to go quick, man. You got to go quick. No, I agree. I had it. Mike didn't have it. Oh, man. I had it. You got it wrong?

I didn't even have a chance to write it. I didn't either. I started writing it. I should have given you some time, but I just was so... I was waiting for the... I was confident that my first impulse was right. I was waiting for the other voice. Where's that from?

Mike, here's your eighth grade level word. Okay. Precipice. Uh-oh. On to the draft. What? I will say this. I just wrote the word precipice, and there ain't no chance it's right.

There is. Precipice. There's so many variables here. Precipice. We are on the precipice of the draft. That's the truth. Holy moly. This could not possibly be right, what I wrote. I mean, I'm on letter four.

No, that's very wrong. I'm on letter four here. We're already up. This road could fork in so many directions. Dude, I wrote it. I wrote it, and then I looked at it. You know, you look at a word you're like that's not a word i've come on mike you might get it no no i've written it so many times i don't think any of them are right now press this can you use it in a sentence ow jason did we are on the precipice of the draft

he's saying it so tenderly okay okay I'm locking I'm locking in I'm locking in the s sound I've got that wait you're still working through it oh yeah we're on letter four my man press hold on stop just believe in yourself mike is you going to the mall today P-P-R-E-C-I-P-I-C-E. That's where I would have gone. Oh, yeah. All right. I'm happy to know that I would have been out this round. Press a pace. That's it.

You put that on your chips. Yeah, I put... This is my favorite dip. It's press a pace. It's made in New York City. He's out for two. You're playing with us every round, buddy. Oh, yeah.

I'm in. I'm in. I'm playing this game, too. We're into high school? Yep. Ninth grade. Andy, here's your word. Can we turn some air on in this room, please?

Coming right up. Surveillance. Oh. Poop. Oh. Uh-oh. I wrote it so fast because I was like, oh, I know this one, no problem. And then the word got so much longer than it is.

Oh, man. Oh, boy. There's only one. I got one big problem. I always put so many extra letters in my words. I'm shooting a shot here. Oh, no. But the rule.

Here we go. S-U-R. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Wait, for real? Yeah, don't worry about it. S-U-R-V-I-E-L-L-A-N-C-E. Surveillance.

Does that mean it's E-N-C-E? No, it's E-I. Everything else you had correct. Oh, poop. I before E except after C. No, that can't be right. Mine is bad. What'd you have?

Let me see. Mine was- You had S-E-R-V-A. Let me see this. Servalians. Servalians. Is that a tilde over the N? No, that's just a dot.

So the E-I. I even heard you say the rule, but it just didn't feel right. Because that's a rule. Take it home, Mike. It's a rule that sometimes you use, which is not a rule. All right, so if Mike gets this right, he wins. That is correct. Oh, this will be the first time ever.

Here we go. Here's your ninth grade level word. He's on the precipice of victory. Expediency. Oh, no. I think that's all right. I think we can say on this one. I think I got that one. That's got another singular

issue. What do you think about this? I think What do you think? You don't want to cheat off of me Mike. I will happily show you and you don't want none of this. Expediency? Yeah. Expediency. Expediency? Yeah. Expediency.

Expediency. E-X-P-E-D-I-E-N-C-Y. No! Oh, the no was right. You got it wrong. I got everything wrong today. He put the A-N-C-E. That was the variable. Congratulations, Mike.

Wait, wait. Where's the clapping? Yeah, I got it. For me. Well, we're all winners here today. Where's the clapping? Yeah, I got it. For me. Well, we're all winners here today. That's for sure. That's what I learned. Let's draft.

The Spitballers Draft. We are drafting the best fruits. And Jason has the first pick. There's a lot of fruit. Yeah. More than I thought when I started thinking about this draft. I don't know why, but there's a 101 that I really, really, really want. And I'll be sad if you take it, Jason.

Well, there's a 101 for me as well. It's the clear and obvious first pick. Really? For me. For my taste. Okay, good. It's not for everybody. a one-on-one for me as well it's it's the clear and obvious first pick really for me okay okay good it's not for everybody i mean i but that's what i was well i said this is my clear and most obvious favorite fruit like we should all know what it is my point is and i'm getting back to what i talked about at the beginning of the show where I don't think it is the most beloved fruit. I want to play the game. I want to see if I can get that back

after you two take... That would be the smartest thing to do because we might compete on other fruits. You'll get four fruits. Is it four fruits? I'm saying it's five fruits before it gets back to me. Mrs. Doubtfire. Fruits too good.

I'm going to pass on my favorite. Okay. And guys, so are you. I hope you pay. You're going to pass too. Because I would never pass my favorite fruit. So what's your number one pick? All right.

So I'm going to take. You got a little froggy over there. Yeah. I'm getting a little choked up over this. You are very sweaty too. The highway to spell. Gets it very sweaty too uh the highway to spell gets it should just be called highway to sweat i mean that thing is stressful s w a i t you want to we can hit the sauna or could have a spelling bee all right um with the first pick i am going to take a very normal, common staple fruit.

I'm going to take the apple. Okay. Now, if we're going specific, it's Honeycrisp. Apples. He gets apples. Okay, but the record needs to show that Honeycrisp are the best apples. That's fine. Apple was my biggest question because there are so many different,

and they taste very different. They do. We'll go all apples. That's fine. There's enough fruit so many different, and they taste very different. They do. But we'll go all apples. That's fine. There's enough fruit. We could have had an apple draft. We'll do an apple draft on its own someday. Brooks eats an apple salad every day.

Yeah, he does. I love Honeycrisp, apple pie, apple cobbler. I think it's versatile. It is versatile. Classic. And it's so easy. Fruit. Some fruit goes.

This is not the best fruit. Some fruit goes. I agree. No, I agree. I didn't draft the best fruit because it's going to. Some fruit goes. This is not the best fruit. Some fruit goes. I agree. No, I agree. I didn't draft the best fruit because it's going to come back to me. But they're also so easy. Sometimes you've got to do so much work for fruit.

And this is like grab one of these. Yeah, this is the vanilla of the fruits. Do you wash your apples? I do rinse my apples, yes. I rinse my apples. Oh, man. Fridge to mouth, baby. You're all natural. Living dangerous. Love rinse my apples. Oh, man. Fridge to mouth, baby. You're all natural. Living dangerous.

Love that piss side. That's one of those things where like, what if you just found out that nobody ever needs to wash their apples? Like you just do something you do for your whole entire life, and what if you don't even need to do it? You haven't wasted that much time, so I think you're okay. That's a lot of rinses. How many?

No, no, no. On my deathbed, I'll have 11 minutes that I could have accumulated. Mike is right, because here's what's crazy. When you say you go fridge to mouth, I think that is awful and disgusting. Here's what I do. I take that apple and maybe for half a second I run underwater. I mean, I don't. There's nothing I'm doing.

I don't watch it. I'm just getting it wet. That's literally all I do. You wet your apple. I wet my apple and then we're good to go. I have washed nothing off of that apple, but I would never go fridge to all. You wet your apple. I wet my apple and then we're good to go. I have washed nothing off of that apple, but I would never go fridge to mouth. You know what?

You're 100% right. I do the exact same thing, but I think I've seen people say you're supposed to wash your fruit for like a minute. Like if you really wanted to wash your produce, you're supposed to like scrub it for a minute. I'm on team wet my produce. All the cook plans like make sure you thoroughly wash your...

Just run it under some cold water. Who's got time for that? One, one, done. I'm taking what I consider to be the 101 of actual fruit. Because when you have a good one, which you almost always do. Come on, come on. It's just too delicious. And the spears, it just chomped through it.

A pineapple. Oh, baby. So good. I knew Mike loves pineapple. Is that what you were hoping just chomped through it. A pineapple. Oh, baby. So good. I knew Mike loves pineapple. Is that what you were hoping would fall through? That's the easy 101. I mean, pineapple. By the way, I don't know what they do in Disneyland.

You ever go to the Bingo Cafe by Indiana Jones ride? Oh, yeah. They sell giant pineapple spears from heaven. If you just grill, like literally just take a pineapple, spear it up, throw it on a grill. You don't have to know what you're doing. Just heat it up on a grill. That's all you got to do.

Oh, it's so good. It's so good. Also good cold. It's so good freezing. Cold, hot, frozen. Room temperature, you got to try it. They make a $10 appliance to core a pineapple. It changes your life.

And Mike, I think, is the one who told me about it. And it's opened up a whole new world for me and my pineapples. It's the whole reason I didn't draft pineapples. I talk about apples are easy. The barrier to entry on an apple is nothing. You don't grab a pineapple out the fridge and start chowing down. You got work to do. Yes, you do.

But pineapple's my pick it's worth it every time yeah i tell you you can have too much sure very acidic very acidic the mouth starts to burn and that's when you know you've had enough but oh man pineapple's so good uh i like my fruit to scorch my mouth i was hoping at the turn I could come through with this dynamic duo of the pineapple and the strawberry. Okay. Yeah. Because standalone, incredible value combined. I mean, it's incredible.

I feel like the world loves strawberries just a little bit more than I do. Oh, man. Do you know what I mean? Like, people love strawberries. I am with you, Andy. You are? What is happening? Strawberries are just, first of all, you can get a vast difference between one strawberry to the next sure on how good they are and i just i'm not that into

strawberries are good yes strawberries yes i'm not an anti-strawberry i will not stand for strawberries are good yeah strawberries are top tier elite i producers please i need some chocolate on them and i can get down oh yeah there's ways to make the sourness go away I love strawberries but I made a list they're number four on my list exactly they're probably right there six on my list

I'll take seven I respect the pick I think strawberry for a lot of people is the one I want where do you want strawberries no thanks I stand alone then was it Tom Brady that's never had a strawberry in his life one it's so good brooks where where do you want strawberries no thanks oh all right all right i stand alone then was it tom brady that's never had a strawberry in his life probably yeah all right mike second pick for you all right now now the game begins yeah you got a long wait after

this pick uh man i'm not what are the fruit of your loom Mike I'm just gonna go like it's I like sour so I'm just whatever I'm just gonna stay with my heart I'm going with green grapes green grapes you can have all the grapes I know they oh okay I will take I'll take grapes I will take the red ones

and I will throw them in the garbage oh you make wine out of them and then I'll dump that down the drain okay alright have you ever taken that's a lot of extra work for me over here Oh, you make wine out of them. And then I'll dump that down the drain. Okay, all right. That's a lot of extra work for me over here. No, red grapes are fine. Red grapes are still good. You just prefer the green grapes. But a cold, crispy green grape is fantastic.

I call them pre-raisins, but whatever. Oh, my gosh. I challenge you, if you don't like the sweet ones, you like the sour ones. I like red ones. Red ones are fine. Yeah, my gosh. I challenge you. If you don't like the sweet ones, you like the sour ones. I like red ones. They're fine. Yeah. They're all delicious. But if you've ever frozen the red.

Sure. Frozen grapes are so good. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I would. I'm not saying. I've lived that life.

Better. I've dabbled. Oh, they're good. And they're much like the apple. I mean, a little bit more work than an apple. There's like two seconds under the water. Yeah, because you. No.

What? No. You have to pluck them off those... What do we even call those things? The stems? I think so. All right. Yeah, I mean, there's some variables there.

You grab a chunk of grapes, you're going to get some duds in there. You're going to get some, you know... Have you guys had... First of all, shout out to the scientists out there. You guys are doing some great work. The fruit scientists. Doing some great things. We had too many are doing some great work. The fruit scientists. Doing some great things. We had too many working on cancer.

We need the fruit scientists. They have found a way, and I think it's organic. It's basically, I didn't know you could breed plants. We can do whatever we want, man. But whatever magic they've done, they have created grapes that naturally grow that taste like cotton candy have you had cotton candy i've heard tail cotton candy grapes are unbelievable but do they taste like cotton candy they taste 100 like where's my cotton candy broccoli if you have cotton but i want my grapes to taste like grapes okay should try the apples

they make i'm just telling you it's like if you have cotton candy flavored ice cream. That flavor. It's that flavor in every grape. We're doing good work out there. It's probably too sweet for you. But Andy brings up the best point imaginable. Where's my cotton candy broccoli? Mix that stuff up to taste sweet.

Your filet mignon broccoli. Yeah. I believe it's the sugars, which are not in the broccoli. Your filet mignon broccoli. Yeah. I believe it's the sugars, which are not in the broccoli. But filet mignon broccoli. He's right. Give me something salty. Make them taste like potato chips. Potato chips.

Broccoli. Yeah. Lacking sodium. Get on that, Lays. All right. Broccoli by Lays. You could never eat just one. Oh, man.

That would make me healthier. All right. I am back up, and I am a little worried about this way that Jason set up his secret number one pick because I'm on the fence between a couple. I'm going to go with what I think is, I mean, clearly the most refreshing of all fruits. It's a good time.

It's delicious. It's watermelon. I'm going with watermelon for my second pick. It is a summer's day. I mean, that's what it is. So, again, look, both of my fruits takes you some time to get into it. You've got to do a little work, but it's worth it. They are delicious.

Watermelon would have been my pick next. Had I not gotten the best fruit that exists, which is clearly a banana. I mean, bananas are my favorite. Now, here's the thing about weed. You got apple and banana. I got apple. You're very vanilla. I didn't think it was bananas due to your particularity

about when a banana is actually good. You think they are good on like one summer's eve per cycle. That is 100% right. After the full moon. Yes. Harvest moon. good you think they are good on like one summer's eve that's right per cycle that is a hundred percent right after the full moon yes you harvest you have to wait for bananas to be ripe if there is a hint of green it could be yellow and still have a little bit of green flavor get that thing in the garbage flush it i mean a green banana sucks now once the green is completely gone and get rid of this thing that will eventually turn into the yellow delicious banana that i want okay but let's hold on to this thing you're not ready get out and then it's not past the prime just hasn't hit it yet it's a fair point but once it hits that full yellow brown right maybe maybe

hints of brown absolutely no speckles no bruiseise. Speckles on the outside. Yeah, you want some specks. You open that thing up and it's great. But here's the thing about bananas. Banana freckles. Bananas are the, when you've got a ripe banana, it is the perfect flavor. It might be my favorite flavor of all flavors. He loves banana flavored stuff. Banana desserts, banana cream pies, banana runts, banana pudding. Yeah, you're a little too banana.

You can cut these up to put them in your cereal. I mean, there's only one way that regular Cheerios is okay. Put some bananas in there. I have Cheerios every morning. Regular? Yeah. Put some bananas in there. I like regular Cheerios too.

Hey, put some bananas in there. I don't want the mush in the chomp. If you're reaching for a banana, let me ask each of you a question. You're reaching for a banana of your perfect ripeness. Mm-hmm. Are you throwing back the whole banana? Are you a whole banana guy? Or are you a half banana?

You never eat the butt. Oh, yeah. We talked. The bananas needs to go. But I go. But I'm saying quantity-wise, you're good with a full banana. Oh, absolutely. All right.

Are we all full banana people? I mean, they're not that big. Yeah. You're throwing away half a banana. Oh, absolutely. All right. Are we all full banana people? I mean, they're not that big. Yeah, what? You're throwing away half a banana? No, I would never throw it away. I'd save it. The bananas I get are the size of my arm. I could never put one down.

I'd cut a banana in half and eat half a banana. Now, have you done the, you actually, you open it what is perceived as upside down? I have. I've never broken through the bananas. It's actually way easier to open from the upside down part. How? You just pinch and you can rip. You still peel?

Yeah. You pinch and you rip open instead of grabbing that. What we're told is the can opener from the banana, except then you just smush it. It doesn't always work. You just break the banana in half. So you've got your apples and bananas. I'm always going to use a knife. You cut the top, peel. I'm not. to use a knife. You cut the top, peel.

I'm not. You need a knife for a banana. I don't need a knife. I use a knife so that I don't smush it. Bougie Boy needs a knife for his banana? Dude, I'm going to label a banana knife. Do you eat it with a fork, too? Maybe sometimes.

Oh, my goodness gracious. Dipping it in some chocolate. All right, so I've got bananas. Your ancestors are so upset with you right now. I've got apples and... I need a knife with you right now. I've got apples. I need a knife. Mike is really not liking this. It opens with very little effort. Save your knife for the freaking pineapple, brother.

Let me tell you this. Yes. Yes, the pineapple. Okay, you need a knife. Otherwise, you're ripping your hands open. Let me tell you. A banana just goes whoop. Try it with a banana.

He's got those lotion gloves on when he's eating it. It's not a lot of work to open a banana without a knife. It is still less work to open it with a knife. No, in the time you have to walk to the drawer...

My knives are right next to my banana stand. So this is thought out. I grab it and I'm at the same station little cut all right good to go uh what's your third fruit there pal my third fruit there are two i'm debating there's a murderous monkey living in this house um man there are so many fruit that i love. I think I'm going to. All right. I'm going to play the game again. My next favorite fruit, I don't think you guys are going to draft.

I do think you will draft this next one. So I've got like team classic over here. I'm going oranges. Okay. Oranges are delicious. You can have them in the summer and the winter. And now seedless. Thank you, scientists. Yes seeds zero to six seeds seedless watermelon seedless oranges um yeah oranges are just great i think they're fantastic i think they're underrated nowadays

like when we were growing up oranges they were the you want to talk about an annoying fruit to eat or i mean let's let's be honest you need akin. When we're saying we like oranges, what we're mostly saying is we like the taste of oranges. We're not really liking. I actually enjoy the process. Oh, no. Good. Great texture. Juicy.

I enjoy it. You don't want no paper cuts on your fingers when you're eating an orange. That's true. I don't want paper cuts on my fingers no matter what. In general, yeah. If I'm eating a steak. I live by that. But yeah, I like peeling an orange.

The only problem is the juice on the hands. That is annoying. Sure. All right, so you have apples, bananas, and oranges. This is kind of- Fruit of the loom. Well, I'm going to go- I'm going to stick with this slightly less vanilla and boring.

I will go- I have pineapple. I have watermelon. I'm going to go with this slightly less vanilla and boring. I have pineapple. I have watermelon. I'm going to go with peach. Okay. I'm going with a juicy peach. I like it. I'll take a juicy peach over, and how easy it is to eat, over an orange, which without rudimentary tools, I could not access the inside of an orange very well.

You can't just bite it open? I suppose I could try that. But then you've got some of the... Just get that old incisor in there, man, and it's good to go. Yeah, but then you've got the orange peel in your teeth. Yes, it's a sacrifice. You've got to get the essence of whatever's in that orange peel. Either of you guys have an orange peeler?

No, because I've got... It's right next to his orange tree. How many teeth do we got, 32? You really bite an orange open? Oh, yeah. I have never done that in my life. Well, you've got some nice canines, though. I would like to say that.

Well, thank you. I pride myself on my two canines. Yes, it is bitter, absolutely. Oh, you're talking about the actual rind? Yes, when you bite into it. That's not even a good name for something. It goes away quickly because then you're soon eating a sweet delicious orange and then you have no you don't have to go find anything sharp you don't have to wash anything i used to chew to go two oranges and

then spit after i got all the juice i'd spit the junk part like the uh the skin yeah all right so i'm going peach i think a peach is delicious it's uh i flavored. Peach is as close as I get to your banana love of things. Like peach flavored things, I'm down. I'm down on peaches. I think peaches are okay. There you go. I think they're good. I'm going to go.

Final two picks for Mikey. I got my final two here. I'm going with a, like when I started making my list, you know, you're looking up fruits. Dude, I freaking love this fruit. like when I started making my list, you know, you're looking up fruits and dude, I freaking love this fruit. And it's just, I so rarely get it. Like it's,

you know how you get in your habits of, you go to the grocery store, you know, which fruits to target for your family. And that's all you buy. Like we're, uh, we're in apples.

I'm sure my Instacart driver has that feeling when I, when I send them, I don't know who I'm doing a show with anymore over here. But, dude, pears. Pears are so unbelievably good. I thought I could let that slip to the last pick. I'm disappointed. I like all these picks.

Well, yeah, they're good when they're perfectly ripe. Yes, of course. It needs to be a ripe fruit. a lot of these fruits were drafted a lot of these fruits though unlike a banana and a pear you they have a longer like an orange is is an orange ever like not ripe but i mean obviously yeah they go bad but an apple they can be not sweet you put an apple in your fridge you come back three years later that thing's's good to go. But, dude, pears are so good. They're so sweet. But they're not like it's crazy.

Have you ever had a Harry and David pear? I have, yes. I don't know what that is. It's a brand. Yeah, you get them on the internet. You get them on the internet, and they show up at your house. You get a 12-pack of Harry and David pears. Okay.

Blow your world. Not a sponsor, but reach out. It'll blow your mind. I'm in for it. You're going to get in on these pears Harry and David pears. Okay. Blow your world. Not a sponsor, but reach out. It'll blow your mind. I'm in for it. You're going to get in on these pears? I love pears. Give me one. The texture of the skin is...

Yeah, it's tolerable. I think it adds to the experience for me. Yeah, I love it. And with my last pick here, I mean, there's some more, not really exotic fruits, but just not as common. But I'm going to go with a common name here. I'm just going to go with good old-fashioned blueberry.

That's what I'm saying. You just get yourself a handful of blueberries, and you are in for a good time. Blueberries are fantastic. Yeah, they are. It took me a long time to get on board with pretty much all berries, but blueberries have risen to the top for me. Not strawberries. You would not have taken peach.

I could have taken pear, though. Oh, I would never have taken peach. Right. I made a terrible decision. If we could go 10 rounds, I wouldn't have taken peach. They're good. They're just not on my list. They're hairy.

So, pears are kind of, too. No're just not on my list. They're hairy. So are pears kind of too. No. Not like a peach. Peach is like velvet. They're fuzzy. They're not super hairy. They're fuzzy. Peaches are like eating velvet.

A little bit. Strawberries, grapes, pears, blueberries. I'm very sad because pears and blueberries were my next two picks. So instead of going with either one of them, you took them both. And I'm almost out of fruits on this list over here i'm going to actually go with i mean is it a betrayal of the fruit if i don't want to just eat a bunch of the fruit but i love the fruit flavor let's find out what i'm saying there are fruits i mean i think that's kind of orange for a lot of people too they're like

orange juice more than they like oranges like would you rather have a glass of orange juice or glass or an orange or a glass of an orange uh i would rather have orange juice i think but i also love oranges i guess i guess i'm gonna just i'm gonna throw this draft right in the trash can i'm gonna take rassic i'm taking raspberries oh that's fine wait raspberries are great yeah they are good raspberries are great. That's why I'm saying it's fine. No, raspberries are good, but I like raspberry flavor even more than the raspberry. I love raspberries. Raspberries are- What a pick by me.

Yeah, they're so much better than peaches. They can be a little gritty. Yes, that's what gets me. But they got a good flavor. Yeah. We at the Moore's house, we have berries all the time, and there are three of them. We have blueberries, raspberries. Yes.

And my final pick, which is the least popular of the three, and I find that is always the one I prefer. When all three are there, I'm eating 100% blackberries first. Okay. I love them. When they are sweet, they are so delicious. I was happy that blackberries got back to me and about gritty oh yeah you got the little seeds for sure but i think it's worth it it makes me and you spit them all out right the little itty bitty tiny and the way you phrase

that is interesting because this is how i think of it too is when you say okay well i'm gonna eat a berry what does that okay well blueberry, blackberry, raspberry. Yeah. It's called a strawberry, but it is not linked to those other berries. Because you need to be able to hold them like a bunch in your hand and pop them in your mouth at one time. Okay. That's the thought.

If you have a bunch of mixed berries and the strawberries are there, then there's too much strawberry because the strawberries are just too big. There's strawberry slices in one of those fruit salads? Yep. No, but the reality is berries, when I'm looking at a ranked list, which is really dumb, has all these different fruits, and then the number one thing is just berries. Just like the whole category.

You can't do that. You can't do that. Our draft would have been over. We did go blueberry, raspberry, blackberry for the last three. Yeah. But I'm saying like you can't just, oh, berries. Now, nobody took the lime or the lemon. Now, is that because we all know that they're just ancillary pieces?

They are not standalone fruits. I'm never going to eat a lime. Limes. I mean, I love lime. I take a lime to a lemon in my water. Me too. work eat a lime limes i mean i love i take a lime to a lemon in my water me too uh limes are much more practical versatile used in more things to me than a lemon but yeah you're not eating it's like you're oh what's your favorite fruit a lemon now could i have taken a clementine no it would it would have been in the orange orange category yeah. Because I would have taken it too. I have three on my list.

All right, let's hear it. I love kiwi. Kiwi is so good. We just heard from Al Borner. You talk about fuzzy. Apparently it says 102. Well, you don't eat the fuzz on that. You eat the fuzz on a peach, or you can.

You don't ever eat the peel on a kiwi. I don't eat kiwi, man. I don't know how you eat that thing. No, not in on it. Here's one of my absolute favorite fruits that i know so many people hate i mean hate it can't stand it i love cantaloupe cantaloupe to me is fantastic i prefer it to watermelon and and then i like the honeydew the problem with the cantaloupe is clearly it's the cheapest fruit that people can buy because when you order a fruit cup you always get it it's 80 cantaloupe is clearly it's the cheapest fruit that people can buy because when you order a fruit

cup you always get it it's 80 cantaloupe and then like one little sliver of a strawberry and maybe a blueberry the melons which so that it's on the the restaurant industry they have created the animosity towards the cantaloupe because when you when you it's not like it's good cantaloupe in those right but but there is good cantaloupe yeah Because when you have- And it's not like it's good cantaloupe in those. Right. But there is good cantaloupe. Yeah. And you're like, okay, I'm fine with this. Yeah, they're not giving you the good stuff in the cheap fruit cups.

And then shout out to cherries. Yes. I thought about cherries. Messy fruit. They are messy. And you got to deal with the gigantic seed in the middle. Oh, no, no, no. Have we gotten rid of those?

Seedless cherries. I'm not dealing with that. You can do that? Was you over to six? The science we in the middle. Oh, no, no, no. Have we gotten rid of those? Seedless cherries. I'm not dealing with that. You can do that? Was you at a six? The science we got on that? Oh, yeah. One in every six still has the seed. Maraschino cherries?

Wait a minute. Maraschinos aren't cherries. What are they? What are those? Are those the dessert ones? Those are the little dessert ones that are like- That's not a real cherry. That they put on top of your ice cream.

That's not a real fruit. No, that's a candy. That's not a real fruit. It's got to be a fruit, got to be a fruit though right no it's made out of sugar uh is preserved it's lost itself typically made from light colored sweet cherries so it's cherries made out of cherries all right the last one i would go for it gone with for it's kind of like the peach, but like a nectarine, like from that family of... Yes. What do you even call those? I don't know.

I mean, I think I'd have a name, right? Peaches and nectarines are like limes and lemons to me. Yeah. And a nectarine is actually quite delicious. Oh, what about plums? That's on my list as well. But I don't know the last time I had one. You just rediscovered them.

I think I was... They're good. I don't know the last time I had one. You just rediscovered this. I think I was. They're good. I don't know, 12? Yes. Who eats plums? But they're delicious. Man, I remember plums. This is what I was saying at the beginning.

Fruit is fantastic. You guys remember fruit? We might have not given Maraschino cherries enough cherry credit. I think they are. I mean, they've gone to work on them. Oh, the Luxardo Maraschino cherries, enough cherry credit. I think they are. I mean, they've gone to work on them. Oh, the Luxardo maraschino cherries are un- I mean, they've hit the lab pretty hard. They hit the plastic surgeon.

That's like the canned peaches. There ain't no more peach left in that thing. All right. Any other forgotten fruits over there, deucers? You got all mine. All right. What did we learn today? I learned that Mike is the best speller out of the three of us.

Thank you. I'm glad that someone finally recognizes. I learned that, sadly, J.K. Rowling didn't come up with the foot pedals. What do you call them? Footrest. Footrest for the foot pedals. What do you call them? Foot rest. Foot rest for the broomstick. I learned that the only possible solution to stay on a flying broomstick is magnetic underpants.

Yes, of course it is. With the metal. You've got to have the metal broom, otherwise it's a real problem. Just no help whatsoever. Your thighs just stick together. All right, that'll do it for the Spitballers. Thanks for tuning in. Goodbye.

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.