Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Hot Mud & An Ocean Battle - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

Spit Hit for December 22nd, 2022: It’s finally here! We are back in the studio and we got to try out a new segment! Before that, we discuss evading The Predator, cliffhangers, and do a little on-air gambling. We close down the show with an ocean animal battle royale! Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Spit wads, we have a, dare I say, fantastic, perfect, maybe, episode of the show today. A spit hit where we discuss important topics like evading the predator, cliffhangers, and maybe we do a little something something with the draft. Maybe an ocean animal battle royale. Ooh. Yeah, splash splash. Ooh. All right, enjoy the show.

All right, enjoy the show. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. A-roo-dee-toot-toot, inky-winky-pinky-pooky-bop-a-boo-coo. Boo-coo? Man, I had a good start.

It was a really good start. That was... Yes. When it got to the inky... Let's run it back. Inky-winky. But as the judge, that was a one-foot landing with hobble. It was not stuck. Wait, but I did land on my feet.

Oh, yeah. I mean, of course you landed on your feet. It just took you like five steps. Have you watched the Olympics? Oh, yeah. If you don't stick it, you're out. Well, that's okay. We don't stick it very often.

That's a stink it. Oh, my goodness. I would not qualify our scat introductions as Olympic level Mike. This is more like... Well, not yet. I'm talking to them though. Right. Well, we're going to have to win a couple regional tournaments first.

Well, they're thinking about dropping curling and putting in scatting. Oh, see, I can't support that. Which would be disappointing. I love curling. I know. But if I get to be an Olympic athlete, then I'm probably for it. See, I can't support that. Which would be disappointing. I love curling. I know. But if I get to be an Olympic athlete, then I'm probably for it. Well, I didn't win a gold. Let's put it that way. Welcome into the Spitballers podcast.

Back in studio, Al Borland. How are you doing? I'm great. Thanks for asking. Back in studio, we have a new segment. Do I know what the segment is no I don't am I going to participate in it yes I am yeah I mean people have been waiting forever

for this segment and I know Owl is you know he's so worried nervous oh he's nervous he's like the people have been waiting they've been wanting it for so long and the build up is so high he's like

this isn't this isn't you know worth that much build-up and so i just want to say it's it's gonna be the best segment of all time it should be and if it crashes it's still a win for us it's completely on him that's right what if i told you his pits are right. What if I told you? His pits are real sweaty right now. What if I told you I completely forgot we had a new segment that was going to debut as soon as we got back in the studio? Look, things have been a little bit all over the map

schedule-wise. We've been remote recording and there was promise of this segment. Then we were told, you know, oh, it's not that great to do. It's not that great to do it's not that great but but we have to do it when we're back in the studio otherwise it won't work well we're gonna find out together wait this is an exciting show and just like jason said just to reiterate before we start things here if it succeeds it will be on our backs because of the comedy and

the humor if it fails it will not be our fault. It will be Owl's fault. Yeah, 100%. Due to bad creativity. That's right. Yeah. At SpitballersPod on Twitter, Instagram.com slash SpitballersPod, SpitballersPod.com.

That's where the Spitwads hang out. Ding! I don't know. Thank you for your support, your reviews. Thank you for... We don't reference previous shows very often. We like these things to stand alone, stand on their own one foot.

And yet, you guys, we had a candy draft on one of the more recent episodes. Yeah. Last week's episode. And you guys brought up the... Not a sponsor, unfortunately. Not a sponsor, the Sweet Tart Ropes.

You brought it up. And I bought myself way too many of them, which was kind of a confidence thing with you guys. Oh, yeah. I could have bought a one-off. I could have gone to the local Walgreens. You checked that as a business expense, correct? Oh, should have.

I really should have. I mean, we are. Also, don't say that because Jason's about to spend out our business. You've spent $5 thousand dollars on candy this is this look if i can speak anyway they're great that does the point if i could speak directly to mr and mrs hershey um i believe it's nestle let me let me get the number to your friend mr and messie. We have given you way too much free advertising, and we need at the very least to be rewarded with boxes of these sweet tart ropes. That's exactly right.

Yeah, no doubt about it. Wow. Yeah, they're very good. They're very, very good. Let's get started. Would you rather? All right, would you rather? All right, would you rather? You're the last man on Earth.

It's a classic scenario. The Earth itself is unchanged. Except for lack of all the people, I'm guessing. Right. Would you rather choose one person you know to be with you, or every year 10 random people spawn into your world? Ooh. Okay, first question. Are they spawning anywhere around me?

Yeah, they have to. The world is a very large place. It's a classic Mike question, but yeah. Yeah, if the question was 10 random people on Earth, then this question is really, would you like to have someone with you or be alone? So it has to be 10 random people who are spawned into your world, into your living area, and this is, is that a one-time thing or no it's every year

yeah every year 10 new people every year you're repopulating the earth well that's gonna be hard to repopulate the earth i mean you gotta get that you know job done quick but with your unselfishness because you don't get to choose who it is and it's it's random people every year 10 randos and as you we as you know from uh you know just being on the internet random people it doesn't know it's a mixed bag doesn't always work out yeah it's like a food draft with mike you don't always get what you expect and the thing is i'm taking that without question because this is just a great movie plot i mean if you're the last man on earth and 10 people spawn every year the rest so 10 people spawn right you figure it out maybe you got a couple bad apples you can knock them out real

quick and who's gonna stop me and here's the thing you and your 10 friends let's say you all you're working together then every year you're the 11 people that introduced the new 10 people to the world oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no i think are we on the same we're on the same page every 10 years those 10 that you've built these this decade-long relationship with a poof they're gone wait and it's 10 new people every year is 10 different people that's how i'm seeing this you can't just have 10 more people added to the mix every year yes you can because that's the would you rather question that's not how do you read that you're the you're the wizard they don't die well they just disappear i read it as they stay yeah every year you get 10 new people why

the heck wouldn't I take that? Because maybe you like somebody and you want to take one person with you in your life. Sorry, Tiff. I love you, but you're telling me I can have 100 people in my life here

in a few short 100 years? See, that's not where I was going. Where I was going is, it's me. Then these random people start spawning who's the king who's the king of the earth first person yeah me I am now the king of the earth is confusing the heck out of me on this question because it's like you can't comprehend that you get I mean you said a few hundred short years you're dead in a hundred short years you you

will get 10 new friends every year for let's's say, 10 years. That's 100 people. You've got a community. Also, I don't know why you're banking on that 10 of these people are going to be your friend. I would say three maximum. You underestimate the fact that when there are no other people, people need friends more. Right now, there's a lot

of choice in the world. At that point in time, guess what? The guy with the bad attitude has two choices. Go live alone in the woods or get along, buddy. But for me, there's so much choice and I choose no one. Right. You're saying right now you

choose to have no friends. You want to know why you choose to have no friends? Is it because there's too many? Because you could choose to have friends. You are flexing your control over the situation. In those days, in the future, you don't get a choice. And then it's like, you know, they're going to be choosing you too. And here's another thing.

Okay. There's not going to be a whole lot of new programming coming out to watch or some cool new video games to play. You're going to need human interaction. It'll be more like, do I want to build a shelter today or do I want two friends to help me? The food is a problem. I feel like my wife is going to be really upset that I am saying, sorry, honey, I'm going to take the strangers. But one, just the two of us forever. No other people ever.

That just doesn't seem like the right avenue. It didn't even cross my mind and now I'm in trouble probably. But the thing is it's for the good of humanity. That's what I said. You're repopulating the earth. Humanity is likely to go on.

Yeah. It's for the people. I don't know if it's going to make it at 10 people. 10 people a year. 10 a year you're going to make it if it's going to make it at 10 people a year. 10 a year, you're going to make it. You're going to make it. 10 a year is a good amount. I don't know. It takes basically a year to have a baby.

You're on perfect schedule. But the lion population is completely out of check. That is the problem. The wildlife is the major problem here because if bears start coming into the city, lions, I mean, all of a sudden, you don't have enough people to overcome. All of a sudden, you're a people zoo. That's right. And the bears are buying tickets to see you.

I'm in a cage. I think we need to move on now. All right. Would you rather be hunted? Oh, this question's so good. By the Terminator? No. The Predator?

No. Or the alien? Heck no. Mm. Mm. Now, alien. Heck no. Hmm. Hmm. Now, you quickly answered no to the Terminator, Mike. Yes, that is. But the Predator is, well, he's a Predator.

Yes. He's very good at finding and disposing of you. That is true. But the Predator is a living creature. So I have to presume that it has to follow all the other rules of life, has to rest, has to refuel. The Terminator just goes on forever because it is a robot. And I'm not sure if you're familiar with this.

To fool the Predator, all you have to do is cover yourself in very cold mud, and no longer can the predator see you well it helps if you're built like you know schwarzenegger as well wait but the muscles have nothing to do well he did have to defeat the predator he didn't just hide from him come on he didn't hide for all time yeah but how how many muscles do i need to shoot a gun i mean you gotta have some yeah but i've got enough right he just He just didn't have a gun at the time. I would love to see you out in the jungle against the Predator with some mud.

Covered in mud? Yeah, I know you would, buddy. All right, I'm choosing the alien. You want to know why? It's simple. Because it's the right choice. The alien's the right choice for the reason that I can go into,

most likely, a locked house, and I'll probably be all right. He's not opening a door, right? It's like the Raptor from Jurassic Park. If I go into a safe spot, can it open a turning door? It doesn't need to open a door. It will tear the roof off. Yeah.

And you are being hunted by it here in this situation. I can't remember. Is it ectomorph? I could go in some metal room. Xenomorph. Thank you. A metal room. No, I think it would get through.

I saw, look, my family- It melts stuff, doesn't it? Yeah, with acid. It's got acidic spit. The alien will get into your house if it wants to. Okay. But the alien seems to, I don't know, if you get the alien on a ship, it just hangs out there.

It's like, oh, okay, cool, I'm on the ship now. Let's say, for instance, I know this is hard to believe let's say in any scenario you you actually are killed uh which seems likely like this choice is you're talking you're talking to mike who would you rather uh be killed by who's gonna which is gonna hurt more um probably the alien because he he comes out your belly? Yeah, Terminator is weapon, is whatever weapons you have at the time because it has traveled back to get you.

The Predator has the shoulder cannon, which will... That blows you up? Well, it'll take a hole the size of a cannonball right out of your chest. Right through you? Okay. Really? So I've never seen the Predator.

You've never seen the Predator? I have never seen the Predator. Oh, man. the Predator? I have never seen the Predator. Oh, man. I know that right now he's a special character in Fortnite right now. Look at him. This guy over here is like, yeah, I'll just put mud on myself. Like he knows what he's talking about. You told me that he can't see me if I put mud on myself.

Because that's what the movie said. Well, the mud hid the heat signature of the human. Yes, the Predator sees in thermal. Oh, that's great news. You burn hot. You burn hot. That's right. They're eating up mud in the world. Now it's hot mud. As soon as you put cold

mud on me, it's just hot mud. He's just seeing a hot mud creature running around. I don't want to die covered in mud. You know, have some dignity. That's right. He's running at you and you're just slopping more mud on you. Cool down. Oh, man, that's not good.

Yeah, I guess I got to go alien because at that point. Have you seen the alien? We're going to die no matter what, right, in this situation. Yeah, that's my point. At that point, I can go, they are real. And then it lights out. You know what I mean? Like, I get some special information. I'm not go, they are real. And then it lights out. You know what I mean? Like, I get some special information.

I'm not sure if aliens are real. Whereas I already know robots will take over the world. Yeah, but the alien is revealing itself to you, and you think it lights out, but it's really about to grow in your belly, and you're slowly going. Yeah, I say that the alien could go at you with the babies, with the facehuggers. Oh. And now you have an alien that is inside of you. A mama alien.

Oh, new info yes yes okay but the birthing process is very uncomfortable just like humans except

it makes a new new way to get out of your body it's a new hole I do think I remember they did not enjoy that process no

I believe they said kill me they didn't call it the beauty of life or anything like that alright they didn't press it to their of life or anything like that. All right. Well, they didn't press it to their bosom. I've come complete full circle.

Terminator it is. I will die by the hands of a modern day weapon. All right. Next, would you rather question, would you rather have your favorite show have a bad ending or just get canceled right after a cliffhanger? Oh, okay. Do you have a show that jumps to mind? Sure.

A disappointing ending? I don't necessarily know if I think it was a bad ending or not, but the one that I associate with that is Seinfeld. Oh, really? Yes, because it was the the biggest show on television the ending was built up so much that it was going out in the heyday people wanted the show to keep going and then people were really disappointed by it cliffhanger would have been much better in that situation and it would have fit better the cliffhanger inside yeah i mean

every episode it's like he sets up a joke and doesn't tell the punchline. I always wanted to know where it would have gone. I guess. Tell me about the car, Jerry. The thing that happened to Seinfeld was people were disappointed that it had such a plot. And it was, you know, the whole show was about nothing. And then this last episode was like a two parter and it had a plot. And, you know, if it just ended with them going down in the plane and you don't know whether they live or die,

I don't know, that could have been better. But there are a lot of shows. Lost, Dexter, Game of Thrones. That was the one that comes to mind for me. Look, Cliffhanger would have been better there. I don't know if that's true. Because, like, so I, you true. I loved Game of Thrones. Awesome series.

Maybe the best or top three show of all time. R.I.P. And I hated the end of that show. I just absolutely felt like... Now, is that because they took eight episodes to try to accomplish 30 episodes worth of content? It certainly seemed like they crammed it in. You guys are just mad

because you spent years watching a character develop and completely turning a blind eye to what was actually happening to said character. Is this an apologist across the table? Yes, it is. No, no. I'm just bringing up that we had many arguments in the office about this, and there was half of the office was like, she's going crazy. She already went crazy.

How do you not know that this happened? I don't have the problem with her. And're like no I'm on her team she's good she won't burn the city down look look you're not going to find anybody that disagrees with the fact that they tried to pack a little too much character change and plot changes into 8 episodes it was a little bit fast at the end and the producers gave them like 2 years and they're like no we want to do it in 8 and it was a mistake but anyway the principle of cliffhanger versus bad ending, bad ending sours the experience. Yes.

It sours everything you thought about it, including even a show like that where, you know, Game of Thrones, a lot of people really enjoy. And then everybody looks at the ending and they go, yeah, but that ending. That's true. See, I have to have it wrapped up. I have to. You'd rather have a bow on it? I would rather have a bow.

I want to know the answers. If I invest as much time as it took to get through an entire show, eight seasons of watching, and then all of a sudden I don't get the answer, I want to be upset with the ending rather than have to make my own or not have one at all. Now, are you like that with movies. Because my wife, when we see a movie that has just an unopened or an open ending.

She hates that or she love it? She hates it. She gets physically upset and mad because she's- Really? She wants the montage ending to all close up? Yeah, and then Jay climbed up Mount Everest. She needs that. Her personality needs it.

I want no endings ever in my life. Just leave it open. I'll fill it in. I'll think about that movie for days. So even in a movie, you need it wrapped up. There's two totally different things we're talking about here. And first of all, a movie that doesn't have an ending is lazy stupid and idiotic and i hate it however no matter what no matter what no no no this is where i'm saying no no no this is where i'm saying there's a difference

there's two separate things i've seen some movies where it's just like it's going it's going it's going and then credits and you go what what did i just watch this for however there are movies that have an ending but then they end after the ending with the question inception original total recall where you end and then at the end you go wait a minute what and it's left to you to decide yes that's amazing that is not no ending there are indie stupid art house movies that go three quarters of the way through and then credits. So they ran out of money. That's what they don't tell you. That's what it always seems like. Their budget's over.

They ran out of money. Those really anger me because now you have wasted my time. No, because I delete those movies from my memory. Just like they deleted the indie. Yeah. Okay. One more. One more would you rather.

All these came from, I think, Reddit channel. Is that right, Al? That's correct. Is that what you said? Okay. Which of these odds for getting large sums of money would you rather take? So this is a perfect odds question. We are gamblers.

Now, this came from Wall Street Bets, right? Is that correct? Option one, 100% chance of $1,000. Option two, a 75% chance of $10,000. It's still good. Option C, a 50% chance at $100,000. Option D, a 25% chance for $1 million. Or Al Borland's pick, 5% chance for $1 million or Al Borland's pick 5% chance for $1

billion. That one that one's out. I don't know. I'm not taking 5%. That one's out for me too. To me, C is jumping off the page. Flip a coin for $100K. That's difference-making money.

Certainly. $100 for $1,000 is out. Because if I know these other choices are here, I don't want to be the guy that... This is the guy that goes on to who wants to be a millionaire, answers the first question, and passes on all the other questions. I'm good. I'm good. I'm out. I'm out.

$1,000. I don't think E is out of the question here. You are a crazy person. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Hear me out. A thousand. I don't think he is out of the question here. You are a crazy person. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Hear me out. He wants a sports team, and that's how you're going to get it. Exactly.

Like, I like my life. I'm a happy person. I don't feel like, now, don't get me wrong. Don't hear what I'm not saying. I'll be thrilled to get $100,000. That would be amazing. However, that doesn't change my life forever. That gets me a nice deposit on a house or a couple of cars for the family.

Amazing stuff. But my life is the same. If you have that 5% chance at a billion, a billion, not just a million, a billion, all of a sudden, like Andy said, I can go and get a sports team or at least some percentage of one. I mean, that's like a level I can't even comprehend. And I feel like. Yeah, but you got a 1 in 20 shot. That's pretty good, man. 1 in 20.

That is not good at all. It's good for a billion. Okay, so let's say that's good. You could flip that coin 20 times and never land on a billion dollars. Yeah, but if I flip it once. But what I don't have, I don't have the math laid out in front of me. I apologize. But let's say you go with C, and then you take your $100,000,

which you got for free, and then you go somewhere and you're just letting it ride. I mean, you have to. Let me ask you this. You're not going to get to a billion, but is it better? Is there a way to take that money to a game in Vegas and turn it into a million dollars? Oh, another 50-50 shot. That's better than going with the 25% chance to get a million in one chance.

All right. All these games we're playing. It's fun. But we're going to actually play this game. We're going to do it right now. Owl. So, Andy, you said you're doing the 50% chance at $100,000, right? I'm just, we're going to see if we hit.

He's going to flip a coin and see if we hit. So, Owl, you got to pick a number, write it down, one or two. And then Andy is going to say that. And we're going to find out if Andy got $100,000. You good to go over there, Al? I'm good. Two. Tails never fails.

It was one. Oh, no. You got exactly what I might get. Oh, yeah, baby. No, Mike. Hold on. Hold on. No, Jason.

I am writing these down, and Brooks is writing these as well. Jason, I'm going to write down a number one to 20 exactly but i gotta go last we're gonna see if you can that's the point mike you go i'm going for a milli i'm going for a milli so you got four numbers yep okay we ready got a number written down there al yep three it was two no you got nothing you get nothing. All right. All right. Here we go. Okay. My turn. One to 20. Are you doing it, Al? Yep.

It's written down. And I will go with 11. It was 13. I get exactly what you got. Okay. So congratulations. All right. But you had no chance to win.

We had chances to win. I had a 5% chance to win. had chances to win i i had a chance i had a five percent chance to win well we're all ready are we ready to take this episode and like show up a notch yeah there's a new segment i don't know what it is but i'm gonna push this button right now we're gonna find out highway to spell oh no oh no this is not okay highway to spell yes welcome to the spitballer spelling bee gentlemen oh no cancel this is why we didn't know because he knew if he told us what it is, oh, this is such a great idea. Can the spit wads play along at home? Sure. Of course. Yeah. We're going to be, I've got lists of different grade level words.

Oh no. Grade level words. So we can look dumb. Yep. Well, oh no. You can, you can ask for the pronunciation and to be used in in a sentence but we're not going to get into the language of origin nonsense well i'm only playing the game if i can check the origin and i'm only playing if i can google dothraki all right okay all right so we're going to start with first grade we'll probably skip a few in between but just a just a warm-up round here and we'll go andy mike jason if you fail in the warm-up round, you got some trouble. That's the guy who goes on who wants to be a millionaire. He's like, what's closest? And I'm starting?

Great. All right, go for it. Have you seen the moon? Is that what the question was? I think it was. It's like, what's closest? The sun, the moon, Jupiter, or Saturn? I think you got it wrong. I've seen someone lose the $100 question. All right, let's see if I can fail here. All right, Andy, your first grade

level word is rug. Did you just say rug? I did not, but yes. Okay, rug. R-U-G rug. Nailed it. Congratulations. Okay, alright. That was a softball. Okay, alright. I feel like I'm getting set up here.

Alright. Your first grade word is preposterous. All right. Hippopotamus. We're going to go over to Mike. All right. Oh, you are being set up. No, no.

I just said Andy, Mike, Jason, so we're going to keep it that way. All right. Go ahead. Mike, your word is? Bug. Bug. B-U-G. Bug.

Nailed it. Congratulations. Oh, man. All right. All right, Jason. Nailed it. Congratulations. Oh, man. All right, Jason. I'm ready. There's way too much anxiety. I know. This is intense. Your first grade level word is?

Dip. Oh, I got it. D-I-P. I gave you a food, so I knew you'd nail it. That was dip, correct. All right, so we know what we're doing. All right, so that was a proof of concept. Yeah. We're smart enough to get through first grade.

If one of you gets it wrong, you'll be out. Okay. If everybody gets it wrong in that round, then we start that particular grade level. Oh, man. Okay. All right. Nervous.

Can I place bets here? Yeah, I'd like to know who you guys think is going to win this thing. I think Andy's going to win. That's a lot of pressure. I'll go with Mike. I'll bet on myself. Nobody's betting for this guy. My spelling is, I'm going to throw a guess out here.

I'll go out in fifth grade. That's my guess. Fifth grade? All right. And next time, Al Borland, Highway to Geography. No. Thank goodness that doesn't play. You've got to see a map in order for that to translate because geography.

This is fun, though, because the last spelling bee was probably about fourth grade. So it's been a while. Did you ever win one? I think I might have won one. Yeah. I don't remember, but I can guarantee I did. Probably with the word rug. Probably won it with that one.

All right. All right. We're going to jump to, let's go to third grade. We'll skip second. Okay. Andy, your word is? Lamb. Lamb? won it with that one. All right. We're going to jump to let's go to third grade. We'll skip second. Andy, your word is lamb. Lamb? Definition is

a young sheep. L-A-M-B lamb. Final word. Nice work. These are real easy. I'm going to go out in 12th grade. Mike, your third grade level word is? Butter.

Butter. B-U-T-T-E-R. All right. Nobody's having to write anything down yet. You should have to hear. We should add you have to use the word in a sentence after you spell it on the show because I just want to hear us use these words. I love it.

That's a great idea. Jason, can you start that? Third grade level word. Maybe. Oh, M-A-Y-B-E. Maybe I will eventually get a hard word. Oh! Eat it, owl!

Poking the bear. Alright, we want to go to fifth grade? Yeah. Bring it on. Do we have a choice? Isn't our game show, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Is that what it is? This is about where our level is as a show.

I'm starting to get scared now. Okay. Andy, your fifth grade level word is? Supply. Supply. I got supply eyes. S-U-P-P-L-Y. Al has failed to supply us with difficult words.

So here's the funny thing. Here's the funny thing. He's spelling that word that I obviously know how it's spelled. But did you have a little panic? But I had panic. Is there an E in there? Is there a trap? I know how to spell spot.

He hasn't said I'm right yet. You are correct. Okay. All right. Because that would have sucked. All right, Mike. All right. Mike, your fifth grade level word is?

Material. Material. M-A-T-E-R-I-A-L. Very nice. Madonna was a material girl. Yes. Oh, I might have gone E-L. I might have gone E-L.

All right, we're getting close. We're getting close. Uh-oh. I'm very excited now. I think you'll be okay, Jay. Here's your fifth grade level word. Okay. Trail. Uh-oh. I'm very excited now. I think you'll be okay, Jay. Here's your fifth grade level word. Okay. Trail.

Oh, okay. Now, are there multiple ways? All right, trail. Are there? T-R-A-I-L. I love trail mix. Another food. Great job.

All right. Okay, where are we at? Eighth grade? Sure, we'll jump to eighth i think we can handle i am having a heart attack right now this is this is well we're falling out very soon so let's go all right andy your eighth grade level word is biannual well oh is it one or two all right is it one or yeah. Mike, okay, you are allowed to try to... All right, biannual.

B-I-A-N-N-U-A-L, biannual. Went two. What's your sentence? I do not know what the word biannual means. I enjoy growing this large grove of biannual flowers. Are there biannual flowers?

No. No. Flowers, they only grow every other year. Well, you spelled it correct. Okay, good. We'll give you the W there. We're getting close, guys. We're getting right to that level.

All right. Don't fail, Mike. Mike, your eighth grade level word is? Rampage. Rampage. R-A-M-P-A-G-g-e i loved the video game rampage my favorite character was lizzie oh no way yes no way lizzie over the the were you a kong or the it was it's the wolf i i just remembered lizzie off the top of my head the wolf was the best one yeah all right jason all right

i don't want to be the first one out uh sorry this is a bit of a side i just watched rampage yeah the star in the rock not bad not bad well here's i not bad it's what it is it is what it is if you're watching a stupid action movie you go okay that's fine that's watching a stupid action movie you might might as well have a likable rock inside of him. But I'm saying that's all I was looking for. It was a late night stream. I'm going to sleep.

Let's put a movie on here. All right, Jason's turn. Let's go. The rock. All right. Jason, your eighth grade level word is? Confiscate. What?

Confiscate. Oh, no. Oh, no. This is not okay. All right, hold right hold on i'm gonna have to write this down confiscate confiscate okay you know they don't have tablets uh the little kids there's oh man i am very not confident on this that doesn't look right it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right. Okay. Confiscate. This isn't right. C-O-N-F-I-S-C-A-T-E. I believe that's correct.

That is correct. Oh, I'm the smartest man alive. Yeah, but what's your sentence? I feel like all of my goods and stuff that I own will be confiscated by the end of this segment. Oh, man. I'd be laughing harder, but I said biannual flowers. You use biannual in a sentence, by the way. What would you say?

The biannual event. All right. That's pretty easy. Nice one. We'll skip ninth grade and go to tenth grade. Yeah, you got to upgrade these. I don't know, man. All right. All right, Andy, your tenth grade word is?

Servine. Say it again? Servine. I got my. Relating to deer or deer-like, could you say the word? Servine. What do you got? What do you got? Oh, we got a discrepancy over here.

So I spelled it different. One of us would definitely not get this right. Well, I'm worried that this is not spelled as it sounds. I don't know. I've never heard that word in my life. Have either of you? I can't wait to hear you use it. Have you ever heard that word in your life? One either of you? I can't wait to hear you use it in the sentence. Have you ever heard that word in your life?

One more time. Say it for me. Servine. All right. Country of origin? Here, I'll try this one. Servine. Oh, there we go.

There it is. And what is the definition? Of relating to or resembling deer. Well, this is a problem. He doesn't know the first letter to use. All right. I mean, I do have to try to spell it. Yeah, and that time is?

Yeah, I mean, I have a 0% chance of getting this right. Oh, you got it, man. You got it. You got it. No, I do not. I do not have it. S-E-R it, man. You got it. You got it. No, I do not. All right, well, let's hear it. I do not have it. S-E-R-V-I-N-E, Cervine.

That's what I had. That is incorrect. Yeah, there's no way. Mike wrote down correctly, C-E-R-V-I-N-E. I've never heard the word in my life. That's curvine. I thought we were doing words we've heard before. Oh, sorry.

The only reason I did that is because of the word cervix. There you go. Cervine is the word Andy went out on. I'm going to tell you right now, this show's over if Mike gets a layup here. Because I already know Al likes to favor him. I can tell you right now you're going to not like me. Because this is randomized. When I load the tab, it just populates.

But my integrity says I got to give him the word that he was dealt. So here you go, Mike. Your 10th grade level word is disenfranchise. Ooh, disenfranchise. Okay, hold on. Andy is disenfranchised with Al Borden. At least I've heard that word. Disenfranchise.

D-I-S-E-N-F-R-A-N-C-H-I-S-E. Disenfranchised. You are correct. Dang it. Oh, man. Shaking his head at me. So you're out twice now, buckaroo. I was trying to put the fear in you.

You were successful. Now, let me ask. I think I would have gone out on that word because I actually wrote disenfranchised. Disenfranchised? Like you left the French people? No, I put it past tense. Disenfranchised.enfranchised i i like you left the french people no i put it past tense disenfranchised yeah all right well you did that with your word last time so fine mike would you like to use it in a sentence uh no so if i go if i get this wrong mike wins yeah

all right okay all, my heart is beating so fast. I know. Keep us going, Jay. This is fun. This is not appropriate. Alright. What if I win? Your 10th grade level word, Jason, is abalone. Abalone? It has a first name.

Yeah, it's O-S-C-A-R. Abalone has... Abal abalone i'm very happy i'm happy mike gets disenfranchised and i get abalone um i pulled these so many ways from the from the scripts it's all his integrity there are so many ways i could spell this wrong. All right, let me hear it one more time. Abalone. And the definition is? An edible mollusk of warm seas with a shallow ear-shaped shell. Oh, I actually think I know how to spell that one. A slice of baloney. I mean, it could be spelled so many different ways.

Is there a G? Okay, next question. Is there a G in there? Can I buy a vowel, please? So here's, look, I'm just going to spell it the way I would Google it and have Google correct me. Sorry, Jeremy, there will not be another round. A-B-O-L-O-N-Y. Abalone.

I went the same. You're not too far off, but you are incorrect. So Mike would have got it wrong. It's A-B-A-L-O-N-E. Oh, look, Andy. Is that how Andy spelled it? Andy got one right. Oh, and yet Mike wins because.

Would you have spelled sirvine right? No, he spelled it the same way you did. Yes. All right. I did bet on Mike. Congratulations. All right. Well, that was. Yes! All right. I did bet on Mike. Congratulations. All right. Well, that was exciting, terrifying.

We should probably conclude today with... I personally think Mike needs to go on to 11th grade. One shot at 11th grade? I think 12th. Is this 12th grade? 12th grade. One shot at 12th grade. This is like the bonus round?

This is to see if you graduate high school. All right. All right. One shot for a 12th grade word. Here you go. Consanguineous. Relating to or denoting people descended from the same ancestor. Consanguineous.

If you get this right. I always just use inbred. Consanguineous? Consanguineous. Oh oh there's no chance there's no wait i gotta try yeah get in on this there's no one more time consanguineous uh that's okay okay i'm not even gonna show this to the camera i have to show mine hold on i want to count my letters. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 letters. What's the definition again? Consanguineous, uh, relating to, or denoting people descended from the same ancestor. Okay. So the bugaboo I'm calling in this word is that the G sound, I'm not going with the G.

I'm going like, okay, so this is going to sound weird and probably way off, but whatever. C-O-N-S-E-N-Q-U-I-N-E-O-S. Very close, but incorrect. Dang it. Had you gone with the G, you would have really it was it was just a g i called it's also s a n so it's c o n s a n g u i n e o u s well i had a lot of extra letters okay only one j it's 14 letters you said you had 15 so ain't a g. C-O-N-S-E-N-G-U-E-N-I-O-U-S. That middle of your word, G-U-E-I-N, is new.

That's new. That's a new word. All right. Time for a draft. We're back. Let's go. The Spitballers Draft. Look, I haven't sweated. I've never sweated on this show until that segment.

That was like actual. There's a competitiveness that we're going to hear about right now again. Yes. That comes out. All right. Our draft. It's been too long. We haven't done a battle royale in a while.

And the people, they don't really like it when we aren't battling one another. In this case, in an underwater coliseum. Yeah, I feel like I'm happy we're doing this because I just lost a game against you two fellas. And now I want to kill you with sea animals. Battle Royale in the ocean in an underwater Coliseum is a constrained space. Can you surface? Can you sir? Are you,

if it's a sea animal that needs air to continue the fight, you can surface. Oh, well, yeah, I guess that's all I mean. Yeah. I mean,

you're not stuck down there holding your breath. Okay. Just making sure. Look, the theoretical sea coliseum, the walls extend all the way to the water's edge at the top. I'm just saying there are things that live in the water that don't have gills. Yes. Okay.

I agree. That's fair. That's fair. There's one animal that I saw on a lot of lists that I think doesn't count. We'll get there. I have the number one pick, and I'll be honest with you. There's one animal that I saw on a lot of lists that I think doesn't count. We'll get there. I have the number one pick, and I'll be honest with you. There's two. I spent most of my day thinking about this because there were three choices for me.

Oh, you have a third? There was three choices. There was one that was kind of the wild card choice, but I picked first, which means you guys get four sea animals after me. Then I get the one after that, so there's a lot that are going to go. I have a distant third, but I have a top two. Yeah, I've got a top two as well. But I am taking the definitive alpha of the water, the top of the food chain,

the actual top of the food chain, the top of the food chain that eats the thing you think is at the top of the food chain. He's taking humans. I am taking the orca, the killer whale, the numero uno, the killer of the great white shark. That's the other top tier. There's two top tiers. This is the worst spot for me.

I don't want the third draft spot, but I'm taking it. I'm taking the killer whale because it has been scientifically proven that they feed on great whites, eat their livers. That is not a joke, Clarice. And there is – whatever, I'll talk about that. All right, that is my official pick. I'm taking the killer whale. And I agree with you.

If I had the first pick, I wasn't sure if I would go great white or take the orca. You're giving it a lot of thought. I think we should just call it orca. K-I-L-L-E-R-W-H-A-L-E. He drafted Shamu. The killer whale.

Yeah. I did think about trying. Have you seen Shamu inside of an enclosed capture? It's not very good. That's a sad animal. Yeah. That's a floppy fin. They tried to put Gray Whites in there, but it didn't work.

We'll let you free Willy. I wanted to do a free Willy based scat, but I just really couldn't remember much of that movie. Call me. Is that the song? Come on, yeah, you don't know that jam? I remember him jumping over the boy.

Yes, alright. Well, I mean, it's easy. I'm taking the Great White. Yeah. I'll take the Great White Shark, the murderer of the oceans. Minus the orca. Yeah, that stinks, because those are the two best picks. I would have gone great white. Great white had the lead for the majority of the day,

and then I realized if I pick the great white and someone picks an orca, it will eat my great white. Yeah, but great whites are awesome and cool and terrifying. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, they're great. Put it this way. You will never, ever go to SeaWorld and watch the people swim with great whites. No.. Oh yeah. They're great. Put it this way. You will never ever go to SeaWorld and, and watch the people swim with great whites. No, it's true. Right. They're not tamed. Put it this

way. Mike and I have like the two alphas of the water and you're, you're playing third place. Well, I know what I have to have. Then if you guys have these awesome killers, we've played enough MMOs. I need to be able to hide. I'll take a camouflage. Are you taking speed? I am taking a tank. I am going to need you guys to be feeding for a while. It's number three on my list. Yeah, it's the blue whale.

Yeah, great pick. This is an excellent pick. It's humongous. I don't know what offense this thing is going to unleash, but it's just there. And it's going to take you forever to kill it. I mean, that's a lot of bites. That's a lot of bites. I don't know if a great white could actually kill a blue whale.

We'd have to combine forces to take out the blue whale. We'd have to be eaten for a while. That's the thing. It's not a lot of offense, but I don't know that you can kill it. Now, with my second— Is he just a distraction? Like, should we not waste our time on the blue whale? You shouldn't, but these are dumb animals

and they're coming after this blue whale saying let's take out the big guy first. Are you going to come after us with your baleen? I am actually going to draft an animal that is... Step one.

That actually is known for killing or at least combating with the blue whale oh you're taking the giant squid i am taking the giant squid what the beast from down under yeah i mean you're technically wrong there he they attacked the sperm whale but i get what you're no no no no i i i look this up beforehand you're right about the sperm whale, but also the blue whale. Did you take the giant squid or the giant? The giant squid. Okay.

The giant squid will be my second one. They are mammoth creatures that can kill, and I think I'm off to a good start. These two beasts that are humongous are going to be difficult for you guys to corral. I agree. Giant squid's all right. The giant squid is on my list.

Now, the problem with the giant squid is it doesn't like to reveal itself. Great. Great. But so what? It's just going to stay on the bottom of the bar? No, he's got ink. I'm going to wait until they're attacking my blue whale. Probably.

I don't know. Is it an octopus? My giant squid is down there. You don't even know he's there. Oh, let's take this blue whale. And then while you're distracted. Doesn't sound very giant to me. Tentacles coming and grabbing and pulling you into.

Does he have a mouth? Can we beach, Jason? It has a beak, I would assume. That's true. Can we beach, Jason? Well, the whale. No, not Jason. Wait a minute.

I mean, the Jason of the sea. The Jason of the sea. Okay. Okay. I drafted my mascot, the blue whale. Okay. Sorry, my friend. That was in reference to your creatures, your animals jason has a blue whale

and a giant squid mike you got the great white shark and uh you're up and this is where it's going to get very very interesting yes it it does start to get a little bit dicey here but i will take an animal that if you if you the research, this animal actually is willing to kill sharks. I believe it can actually fight with an orca if it has to because it's smart. Because it is human being smart. Oh, yeah. You're taking a- I'm taking a dolphin.

You're taking a hecko. Oh, come on. I am taking a dolphin. I'm going to eat your dolphin so easily. Who is going to eat the dolphin? The blue whale? No, my giant squid. Your giant squid is not catching the dolphin.

I would have to say the dolphin's a little too deft to be caught in a giant squid tentacle. How fast can a dolphin move? Over 100 million miles per minute. How fast can a dolphin swim? We are talking... While trapped in a giant tentacle. No, I'm going to give the dolphin respect. Now, I don't know what the.

11 knots, 20 and a half kilometers per hour. Look, you're in a battle royale under the water. The dolphin's a good pick. Even if the dolphin is just fast, it's intelligent. And now you have a general. You've got somebody with a battle plan. I feel like the dolphin will organize and this is me defending mike's pick i don't know why you're defending a dolphin you remember when

dolphins could tear it up man are you old enough to remember when i drafted a blue whale and it was like i'm not i'm not sure how much offense but it'll be very difficult to kill. It's going to take forever. What offense does the dolphin provide you? It runs into you. Oh, owie. I'm not worried about your blue whale. In Jason's defense here, they do call them bottlenose dolphins. So getting hit by a bottle is not very. My team is worried about other people.

While the blue whale sits there doing nothing, I will kill the rest of the team, and then my great white will put a bib on and just sit right under the blue whale and chomp until it's done. The dolphin will need to surface for air. Yes. Which I guess was Mike's question. He wanted to go dolphin here. All right, so I got two picks. That is correct.

Well, this is interesting. I mean, also, your animal must surface. I'm not sure if you're aware. Oh, of course. I'm just trying to think of the nuance of who's staying down there. Some of our creatures are dipping up for a, like, do they go timeout? Do we go timeout? Airbreak.

Nice thing is my giant squid can go where your guys can't. I can go so low that you guys can't even get me. I'm going to stay right at that spot where... Who built this coliseum? How deep is this going? Wait, you think that the coliseum, this magical coliseum that's underwater that goes all the way to the surface, somehow

there's a limitation on the depth? I think there might be a depth limitation and squids, they need to exist real deep, so you're kind of blinded by the sun. All right, moving on. This next pick, it was in consideration for a moment to be the number one pick. That's back consideration. But I didn't think it would make it, but I'm glad it did.

Here's what I'm going to go with. The landmine of the ocean. We've got an underwater ocean battle i'm going a sea of jellyfish one jellyfish nice try bud nice try you just got one jellyfish because that's not what i drafted you can't be like i draft all the we will give you one jellyfish and a bunch of paper bags that's fair wait so you won't be able to tell which one's the real that's that's fine i mean i have a dolphin so it knows i'm going box jellyfish yeah okay okay deadly landmine in the ocean if you hit it yeah you're gonna try to say if If I fall in, I'm terrified of the box jellyfish.

I don't think my great white shark is so concerned. They're not taking out the great whites? No. My giant animals are like, that stung a bit. Well, let me ask you this. Swallowed. Let me ask you this. Can they eat the jellyfish and be fine?

Yes. Yeah. So you guys removed me from being, not only do I not get a bunch of them, I don't get a family jellyfish. But you're also providing lunch for- But now you think you can just eat them. No, jellyfish are- Like in a marathon when you open them like the cliff bar.

That's right. You're running. I got to power up. You're swimming. Oh, thank you, Andy. I like it. I mean, box jellyfish was in consideration for my last pick. All right.

My next pick is a narwhal. Dang it. I like it. It was on my list. Because we've got a giant horned whale. Yeah, no, it's amazing. I mean, he's got a spear. He's going to do some damage to anybody that comes in his direction.

Look, you know I love it. You had me at spear the best weapon that can be wielded. I mean, the problem is narwhals are a blue whale is kind of like of a big boar to you're in some trouble. Honestly, then you want to know

what could kill the blue whale. It's probably the narwhal with that tooth. Is that a tooth? It is. Yeah. Which I don't understand why we call it a tooth. I believe it's all it is that a tooth it is yeah um which i don't understand why we call it a tooth i believe it's all it's not a tooth is it it's a it's either hair or a tooth no it's a tusk but it's made out of tooth material it's kind of like when you're like you know what a you know what a tomato is actually a fruit all right the narwhal tusk yeah yeah but it's a tooth really i thought so i'm seeing tusk and it looks like it looks like

it means some business like when somebody when i thought about a narwhal i was like is that a mythical creature i couldn't remember if it was real i was like maybe that's mythical but aren't they really docile and i will say this not their tusks the reason the reason they're not docile that it's a great pick is like if i am the general over my army of sea creatures here, I'm going to be like, that narwhal is adorable. Okay, don't you touch that narwhal. He's too cute. All right, there's my pick. I think you're getting influenced by Elf.

You're darn right I am. Hi, buddy. Mike, it's back to you. All right. I like the narwhal pick a lot it was on my list now if we can only get one of these things the size and the scope of the other animals

that we have selected does create a problem because like one of these animals it's not really going to do anything. We can change the rules and give Andy a bunch of box jellyfish. Yeah, I don't know the implications, though. I haven't ran the math. I haven't put that into my algorithm of underwater battle royale.

I'm going to take, as the Australians call them, I learned in my research, they call them a salty. I will take a saltwater crocodile. Oh, see, that's the one. It was the next pick on my list. Really? That's the one that beforehand. Saltwater crocodile, maybe.

Felt a little like a cheat code. Yeah. I feel like if you drop one of those out in the middle of the ocean, they're toast. They're dead. They're toast. They're dead. But one fight in some saltwater coliseum and maybe it puts up a fight. Yeah, that was the one beforehand I said.

I don't feel like that considering that they have like made it from the land or the time of the dinosaurs i think that the saltwater crocodile will be all right yeah but that's like saying if the birds did too then they would be fine in the ocean but you know they didn't they didn't evolve in the ocean all right so you've got've got a crocodile. I do, and I'm very pleased about that. All right, all right. Okay, I'm looking at my options here on my list. These are my last two picks. Oh, no.

Okay. Now, do I just go girth everywhere? Do I just go for massive? Generally, you do. Right? I mean, it's worked for me so far. All right. I am going to take... massive... Generally you do. Right? I mean, it's worked for me so far. Alright. I am going to take...

The good news is you can't lose, but you also cannot win. Right. I'm just going to live forever because I'm a blue whale. You're going for a stalemate. Alright. I'm going to go with a pick.

Alright. To go with a pick. All right. Oh, man. So back and forth here. I'm going with the giant octopus. I'm going with a giant octopus. My giant squid, my giant octopus, my whale. They're going to be hard to kill. I've now got.

Now, Jason, what are the differences between a giant squid and a giant octopus? Squid are completely different animals. Well, they have a different name. I got that. Yeah. I do know that the giant squid are bigger, more difficult to kill. They can go down deeper in the ocean. Okay.

Is there a specific number of tentacles that a squid has? How many tentacles does a squid have? I don't know. Okay. Well, maybe that's a difference. You know? Does anybody know that? Not helping you.

All right. Let me... What? A squid has two. Well, that's disappointing. I just found that out on Google. Here I am thinking I've got 16 tentacles. I've got... But a squid has two. Well, that's disappointing. I just found that out on Google. Here I am thinking I've got 16 tentacles. I've got... But a squid has 10?

It says it has eight arms and two tentacles. Okay, so it's got two real long ones. Nice. Okay, I'm back in. I mean, that's all you need. All right, so I've... You can tie things in a bow. I've got these.

Now I need an attacker. I'm going to take the next best thing. I'm going to take a bull shark. A bull shark is... A bull shark? A bull shark. I'm going to take... Yes, that's right.

You heard me correctly. Okay. A bull shark. What are you taking again? I'm going to take a bull shark. Okay. Sounds like a winner. Yeah, it's an aggressive killer.

I believe that it kills the second most humans next to a white shark. I believe I just Googled this. So, yeah. Your parameter for drafting this animal is because it can kill humans. No problem. But it's not fighting any humans. Well, what about your great white shark? I mean, my bull shark is very close

to your great white shark. I imagine there is a size difference. But you don't get a bunch of bull sharks? You just get one? Correct. Just one. No, just one. Alright, Mike, you're up. Hold on. What's Jason's final team here? I know it's girthy.

Blue whale, giant squid, giant octopus, and a bull shark. Okay, so let's do a little size comparison here, Jason, because we drafted basically the same animal, right? So a bull shark here, according to Google, a female up to 290 pounds. Male is actually smaller, up to 210 pounds. Okay. 210 pounds. So I eat us.

We weigh as much as that shark. Or a great white. 1,200 to 2,400 pounds. Yours is the mama shark. Over a ton. Yeah. Against your 200. Now, let me ask you this. Do you think my... Tomato, tomato. Do you think my bull shark can eat your dolphin? Because I sure do.

I don't. Yeah, it can. All right, Mike, you're up. All right, with my final pick. You have great white dolphin, saltwater crocodile. Okay, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. You need something else.

You got, I mean, you're really being mean to dolphins. I love dolphins. I want to ride a dolphin, and they would be the one. But you'd rather have a bull shark. If this was a draft where we are befriending sea creatures, the dolphin is probably the 101. It's probably the one I want to have a family, you know, live with. Yes.

Mike, I'm down to two picks. I'm telling you, like, the size of these creatures is really throwing me off. I got to do a size check here real quick on an animal. Because it comes with weapons. Oh, that's a big animal. All right. What's your pick? Your narwhal?

One tusk? Or are you going double tusk? I'm going with double tusk, man. I'm going with a 2,200-pound beast. Oh, you're going with that. I'm taking a walrus, baby. Goo-goo-goo-choo. A walrus?

A walrus is 2,200 pounds, and they're mean. Yeah, here's the thing about walruses. On land, not a good fighter. In the water, more deft than you'd believe. Mike has made some very solid picks here. I didn't think about that. A walrus is a great pick. A walrus is a great pick.

Yeah, as long as the water's cold enough. If it's a little tropical, a walrus doesn't do so well in the tropical coliseum. It's a magic coliseum, so it's whatever I want it to be. I mean, look. It's cold enough. Infinite depth. I think, call me crazy, but I think that the creatures have to be able to live in this place. No, no, no.

Let me ask you a question. All right. Because this is, I'm presuming something that you might not believe. Okay. Do you believe that the ocean has a floor? Yes. Okay. I was thinking maybe you thought the ocean, there was no floor.

It's just infinite water. That's right. There's a black hole at the center of the earth. And if you make it all the way down, it's actually a wormhole. It just goes somewhere else. Well, humans need to be able to attend the fight. So it needs to be in a place where they can visually see. You know, the water pressure's not too high.

I'll be on my computer and the cameras will show me whatever I need to see. All right, so Mike has a great white shark, a dolphin, a saltwater crocodile, and a walrus. That's an interesting team. I hope that, you know, the chemistry, if they come together there. I don't know how... The general. The dolphin puts everything together. And I've got a killer whale, a box jellyfish, apparently one of them, a narwhal.

You want a piranha? All right. It's tough. It's down to two picks here. Now, if I could live in a world where I could go back and take back my single jellyfish, even though I drafted a bunch, I would. But I can't. And you took away all his friends.

So I will go with a sperm whale. I will go with the largest toothed whale, the actual aggressive whale. I'm not trying to use my baleen to catch plankton. I am going to bite your head off. The natural predator for the giant squid. Hey, the giant squid may take out a sperm whale from time to time, but the sperm whale takes out the giant squid. That will be quite a battle.

So I will go with the largest toothed whale in existence. I needed something big to compete with Jason's girthy team, so I pick the sperm whale. He does have the meat shield. Now, I will say there was one pick that didn't get selected that was in consideration, and that was the giant stingray. That could have been good. I was between stingray and walrus,

and then the size of the walrus was just too overwhelming. I'm surprised swordfish. Swordfish seems like a really good pick. You know what? That seems like an excellent pick. Yeah, swordfish is a great pick. It's like a way better dolphin because it's fast, but then it can actually attack.

That's probably true. I will say this. I've never seen a walrus. It'll get stuck. Can the walrus use their tusks while they're swimming? Because it seems like they're not in a forward position. Right. They're not.

The tusks are its upper teeth. How do you get a good bite on when you're going fast? I've actually always wondered, what do they do with those things? What purpose is there to have teeth that go down to your belly? You can't chew with that. How else does it itch its belly, Jason? I mean, is that right? Are these belly itchers?

Is that what the saber-toothed tiger used to do, itch its belly? I mean, those tusks, they grow way too long to be usable. They have to weaponize them. I do wonder if your walrus can do anything down there. I'm pretty sure they can weaponize. You're not positive, though, are you? if your wallops can do anything down there. I'm pretty sure they can. You're not positive, though, are you?

There's a chance you just have a really meaty swimming pin cushion down there. Maybe. I grabbed an Andy Reid. All right, moving on. What did we learn today? I learned that, once again, Al Borland favors Mike. Integrity.

Disenfranchised. That's weird. I was disenfranchised with my serving or whatever I got. Which I spelled correctly. That is actually a pretty good spelling. I learned I'm the best speller on the show. Yeah. I learned that if someone gives you any odds for free money, they will never work.

All odds for free money come up zero. All right. I learned I'm the best speller. I already did that. No, I know. I know. Are we done here? You're just sitting in there?

I learned that the new segment is now in the books. I liked it. The spelling books. Yeah, it was pretty good. I think more competitions are needed on this show to make people look stupid. Biannual. Biannual. Biannual. All right, goodbye.

See you later. Thank you for tuning in. We'll see you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.