Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Important Studies & The Perfect Sack Lunch - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

Spit Hit for May 5, 2022: Studies show this episode is hilarious. During our ‘Would You Rather’ segment, we discuss IKEA furniture assembly, losing your copy/paste function, and Mike’s video game collection. Then we tackle some ‘Great Questions’ about petty annoyances that you refuse to let go and improvising confidence. We go back to elementary school for the draft and pick our perfect sack lunch! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

spit wads you've seen the studies yeah you know about this episode only only an idiot would not have seen the stuff look i've read the studies there's a lot of studies on this episode and they're pretty good they say that this might be the best episode of all time if you're intelligent you've read the studies as well so have fun listening to this one listening to this one. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?

It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. A sweet a-dee-da-da-ba-ba-ba-da-da-do A sweet a-dee-da-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da Oh, I loved it. I loved it. Came in with a long one. Yeah, but you didn't just

lean on the high pitch. You accentuated. You scattered. It was great. I loved it. You told the story, man. That is a beginning, a middle, and an end. Yeah, you always go a little bit longer on the scat than we do, but that is beautiful. What happens is I end

and then I think, I need more. I need more. I have failed. The spit wads, if you're listening at home whatever watching on the youtube jason's face 20 seconds before that intro music played i have i don't know if i've ever seen jason embarrassed ever like this is one of the one of one of the traits that i admire the most about

jason get embarrassed he doesn't get embarrassed he rolls with he doesn't have allergies he true but like he rolls with anything like the the man is impervious to shame in a good way not in a negative way in a very positive way and then 20 seconds before this thing started, we realized he was tilting about doing the scat and his face turned into a tomato. There are very few things that I tilt in that way over and they don't make sense, but they are there. I freak out.

He is a man with- So one out of every three weeks, you get a little embarrassed. I get a 30 second experience of what other people feel like. He is a man of an improv background who has done things on a stage where he doesn't know what he's going to do in front of random strangers. No problem. And no. And we can cut this.

This is a podcast. The scat in front of three of his best friends. That's the limit, man. Oh, man. It's amazing. We've got a great show for you today. Would you rather? That's a great question.

What I think will be a very entertaining draft to conclude the show. You can follow us on Twitter at SpitballersPod. SpitballersPod.com. Thank you, genuinely, to all of the supporters of the Spitballers Podcast, our Spitwad family over there on Patreon. We appreciate you.

Love your questions. Love your suggestions, your ideas, everything you bring to the show. That's what makes it so great, that and Jason's scats. Yes. Let's go ahead and kick it off. Let's do it. let's go ahead and kick it off. Let's do it.

Would you rather? All right. This question comes in from Yusaki. Hmm. I feel like I was trolled from the website. I think you just got got. Yeah, I think I got got. And really, that's kind of like a double layer because Al Borland was supposed to audit those things for me.

I really think it's Yasuki. Oh, okay. Sorry. I don't think it was a troll. Okay. Sorry. I just said it horribly. That's what happened.

It's just a cell phone. Yeah. Would you rather have to use utensils for every single thing that you eat or never be able to use utensils again and i'm laughing because my first mental picture with this question is me trying to eat a bag of chips oh utensils with utensils like i would probably just give up on chips as a thing boom it would have to be a spoon would it be that or like tongs like salad tongs i feel like tongs or chopsticks could get it done would that count though i guess chopsticks yeah tongs wouldn't count you gotta be that's fair but but you're right you're right tongs just basically like like chopsticks for people who don't know how to use chopsticks you could take

two forks and make tongs with your hands i look like an idiot when i try and use chopsticks i wish i could use them but i've tried so idiot when i try and use chopsticks i wish i could use them but i've tried so many times i just can't figure it out oh i i can't stand having any kind of asian food without chopsticks jason's a master of them yeah well you know it's the food wheelhouse so i've kind of mastered that realm but yeah i mean the difference though tongs are are large you like you wouldn't eat with a serving spoon you know utensils are like fork knife spoon and but i'll accept chopsticks which would be my go-to for chips chips what else would be very difficult i mean it would be weird to eat like chicken nuggets and chicken fingers but that's not hard are we talking about items with

what would be difficult to eat with utensils? Because I could think of plenty of things. Like, enjoy your cereal without a spoon. Yeah, I would just make some things more awkward, but I could still eat M&M's with a spoon. I mean, that's not the end of the world. It might be the beginning of the world. Spoon's coming through the clutch right now. I did that, actually.

We were on a trip this past weekend, and I used a spoon. What? You're just like, this question comes at it over and you're like, oh yeah, I was just scarfing down M&M's with a spoon or what? What is the story? The story is that I was eating a bag of kettle corn and I got to the bottom of the bag where it's much more difficult to eat with your hands and I poured it into a cereal bowl and

I ate it with a spoon. I mean, I guess we know your answer. You're a man of the future. I think I'd rather have utensils. I think I could make it work. Now, let me ask you this. I know Jason's been there. Andy, I believe you have been there as well.

What is the best part about going to Medieval Times, the entertainment restaurant where you watch really sub average horse riding and it's the food it's a bad acting it's the food and what and like but what's specifically about the food because the food is is it's fine it's eating it with your hands it's eating with your hands there are no no utensils. I'm ripping this chicken apart. And it's socially acceptable because everyone is.

Yes. And it feels great. Yeah, but that's because it's special. If you did it everywhere, it wouldn't feel special. You'd be like. Have you been to that Future Times place where they make you eat with this shiny stick? It's so great i think it feels special because you're like i'm there's somewhere inside of me i remember i remembered my ancestors remember doing this it feels primal it feels like it feels wrong it feels illegal there because you're like

because you can't do it it feels like you're not, oh, look at me. Not in a civilized world. I'm all messy. See, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. If I was at a nice, fancy dinner and I had the same meal served to me, which I believe they pretty much always serve the quarter chicken. Some soup. And I'm at this restaurant. Yes, $5 worth of food for $99.95.

And I am the only person eating that same meal that i love to eat with my hands but i was not allowed to have utensils there that would feel completely different i would be so embarrassed ripping apart just getting the greasy fingers and the greasy face this gives me an idea of like the three of us going to medieval times but like full full tux and tails we are just so fancy do we bring our own utensils do we no no no but no we that's the that's the funny part he wants the uh contrast is that the point yeah exactly okay uh i'm going no utensils i'm living that life i'll keep life of freedom i can find a way so i'm i'm definitely keeping the utensils okay i just

have a couple of questions you got a bowl ice cream mike how are you eating this with no utensils that's this dog doggy style like i mean are you putting this on the you're putting the bowl on the table and you gotta you gotta put your face down like a dog bowl and i'm a little yeah and i'm yeah like a dog all right i'm trying lap lap it lapping yes the lapping motion yes um i think i'm just picking it up man if it's the freezing ice cream the tomatoes eating you're just eating you're holding a scoop of ice cream while you eat it. I've done that, and it's fine. No, you have not. Of course you have.

When was that needed? Of course you have. Well, I quickly realized who I'm talking to here. I've definitely done that. Yeah, when something falls apart, when you're having an ice cream cone that falls apart or something that falls apart, I've been in that boat. You want me to save it with my hands come on jay you you're telling me you've never picked up any type of ice cream and and wolfed it down with my bare hands i with your bare hands i cannot imagine

i can't remember a a situation where i've done that all right we're moving on andy from patreon live in a world would you rather live in a world where computers are no longer able to copy and paste or where they could no longer undo or redo? Oh, no. You know how to undo at all. Oh, no. Which that could be terrible. And then copy and paste. We're so conditioned to copy and paste. I legitimately will pick up real books, find something that I think is important to share with someone,

and for that split second think, wait, how do I copy paste this to somebody right now? No, I mean, it's easy. You snap a pic with your phone and... Well, yeah, I guess that's true. You just disregard all copyright laws. Ooh, is that your way around the copy paste in general then? Because if you get rid of copy-paste, you've got your phone. Well, see, here's the issue. You have to look at it. So copy-paste is it makes things

easier, right? Quicker, easier for sure. Meanwhile, being able to undo something is like that is necessary without having to start over. So a life of ease versus a life of being able to take back a mistake. I have to take undo redo because the repercussions of not having that undo button are those are

full on tragic instead of like eliminating a couple seconds from my life. Yeah, the oh shoot, I just deleted it all. You're done. If you don't have a control Z, you're done. And we've all done that. I use copy paste 100 to 1 or 50 to 1 that I use control Z. I don't use the edit undo all that often. But you're right, Mike.

I don't make mistakes. I don't use the edit undo all that often, but you're right, Mike. When you need it. I don't make mistakes. I'm perfect. No, I just live with them. When you need the really important undo, there's no copy paste that ever carries that kind of weight. It's a compelling argument, one that I've been persuaded by.

I'm still not persuaded. It's compelling. I think I lied about've been persuaded by. I'm still not persuaded. It's compelling. And also, I think I lied about thinking I want to copy-paste real books. I think what I really do is I think about the control F. I think about finding on page. Oh, yeah. Like if you're looking at a book and you wish, oh, man, where does this book say this? Oh, I have to go to the back?

The funny part of recording? Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead, dude. ControlF versus copy-paste, that to me is a real debate because I use Control-F probably more than I actually copy-paste text. I mean, every site for our footballers business, I'm always Control-F finding something on the page. It's a really useful utility.

I think I would take that over copy and paste. I do want to pull our producer here, though, because since we haven't welcomed him into the show yet, Al Borland is here. How are you doing, Al? I'm doing great. How are you guys doing? We're doing spectacular.

Thank you for asking. Do you, what do you think? Copy, paste, or undo, redo? Where do you side in this one? Copy, paste. Too important. This is a man who's driving without auto insurance. Oh, he doesn't want the undo insurance?

This is a man who shares a lot of facts with people. This is a man who, oh, let's, you know, you're probably sending a lot of emails. I get it we i mean we live in a in a text world where whoever can get the info and you and you get credit you get e-credit the person who can relay the information the fastest oh yeah in our slack channel credit you you your e-rep goes up you get a few points your quickest your most well-informed you're plugged in look when when we talk about copy and pasting text, you know, I don't think... That's screenshots too, huh?

I don't think that... Yeah, because if you're usually copying them... Ooh, that changes it. Yes, it is. I mean, the primary thing that I copy-paste is usually a URL. You know, and I don't think of that as a copy-paste. I'm sharing... Oh, my goodness.

I'm sharing a link, but I can't copy-paste a URL anymore. Everything's changing right now. Now we're writing dirty. Let me say this. When I accidentally delete something, it's gone because I'm keeping my copy paste. I am absolutely. Okay. All right.

Al has pushed us the other direction. I'm going to stick with edit undo because I've done enough i've done enough photoshop work and artwork and if i couldn't undo something in there that would be i was you two out of the way catastrophic alanize ecred is going through the roof it is right you will be the sources of information i remember multiple times of recording our podcast many years ago where i went click and they would because the whole thing disappeared but I was able to undo it but that split moment it was like my heart just leapt out of my throat yeah that's scary we have never so we've recorded well over a thousand shows for the footballers we're on like you know, over a hundred here.

But in the thousands of shows that we have recorded, we have never had to re-record an entire episode. Yeah, we're talking about Superman's cape right now. Yeah. Spit in the wind. You just got to be a really good manager at your clipboard. If you're always copying your work and you lose it, then you just paste it.

Oh, that's not a life I want. Actually, I do that all the time. When, that's a good point. I do that when I'm writing an important document, but you're not doing that when you're editing this podcast. That is your own edit undo a little bit. Yeah. All right. Let's go here. Megan from Twitter, would you rather complete a task project little by little every day or relax until the last possible minute and knock it out in one fell swoop? Oof. The first one takes so much discipline.

Also, the second one, I don't know about the relaxing. The stressing. I'll talk to type A commander of this show andy you have a task you know you he's just shaking his head vigorously you know you have a task in your brain like i have to get this done today can you imagine relaxing of any sort i'm not built like jason jason could do that jason has a compartment you know you talk about compartmentalizing his compartments are strong walled they do actually separate metal have little mine are like you know the walls in the room go up eight feet but the ceilings at 10

feet and it leaks across it sits in the back of my head and it feels like a weight so i i love knocking something out and then I relax. That's the way it works for me. I can't do the first one. When you talk about doing something little by little, a little bit here, a little bit tomorrow, a little bit... When I do a little bit of a project and stop, I'm done. That thing's never getting a day two.

Completed. Yeah, wipe my hands of this. What's tomorrow bringing me? He's got a lot of one- this what's tomorrow bringing me he's got a lot of one-armed tables that's what he's got now i will have something sit in a box until it's i desperately need it and then i'll build the whole thing right then and there i am uh you know when it comes to procrastination i've been this way since birth but but I mean, high school, college, when there were massively important papers and children be more like Andy. I mean, there were there were I remember college.

I tested my own limits. I would wait on this paper that we're like a game on. Oh, yeah. To the entire semester and see if I can complete it the four hours before it is due. And I always did it. So that table, it's built. I mean, I don't know if you want to lay on top of it. I am like somehow I'm right in the middle of both of you where I'll if I have a task, sometimes I am able to move on and do something else without it. Just just leaping to the forefront of my of forefront of my brain.

But once I start a task, you better you better not come and bother me because I am laser focused. You're locked in? Yeah, this task is getting done. Was this a task I thought was going to take two hours and now I'm on hour 12? It doesn't matter because this laser beam is in. That is a great trait.

See, to me, I need... Just don't interrupt that man. That's a problem. Don't interrupt that man. It's a problem. I'm building like a a problem i'm building um no you know that involves the ikea directions where i have i don't think i've ever successfully built something from ikea from start to finish without hitting an instruction and going

edit undo i'm gonna go back a few steps you just have to keep going step by step backwards backwards backwards till you figure out the one time where they're got it wrong their graphical drawing did not fully explain which side needed to be forward when i go backwards and i'm vindicated by the drawings and i go it does look my way was right there's nothing more yes because it's so infuriating and here you missed three scratch color drawings of the diagram so my wife and i this is about a month ago we built this sewing table uh craft supply you know we got this nice uh thing for organization so we're building this and there was this one direction that was like you couldn't tell which way it went like you look at it you have to take a gamble you have to take a gamble you have to and so it's like is this way or that

way it could work either according to the picture so we start building this and about two steps later my wife is like i, I think this is wrong. I think this is upside down. And I'm like. Did your pride say yes? Oh, we pressed forward. We pressed forward. All the way till the end.

And when we were done, and I was clearly right because the entirety was built and it was perfect and everything was constructed. built and it was perfect and everything was constructed um and i'm ready to you know pull on my my my gloating because you know usually when you build something wrong you run into a step and it no longer works well this worked but then when you open the uh open the cabinet one of the unfinished side the unfinished side of this wood was up. You have the one drawer where it's the unfinished side. It's unfinished on the inside and you're going, oh, shoot. But you're done. At this point, you're done. So you have to go.

You would have to go all the way back, but also you have to uncomplete your task. I'm done. I'm checked out. I have done that. Yes. So that you guys know what happened. Oh, my gosh. Spectacular.

You know how you can get decorative paper that sticks onto like inside some drawers? That's what you did on the unfinished side? You enhanced it. That's what you did. You made it better. Now it's got a nice floral design on the bottom of that. And you're welcome, honey. The worst part is when your brain tells you, like, you know internally you need to redo it.

Yes. But your brain goes, how do I make this work? How do I make this fine? That doesn't need that part. Why do I have so many screws left over? Help me. Oh, I hate the leftover screws. Not like, oh, there's an extra. Not like the, oh, there's an extra.

There's like, oh, there's a bag. That's when I tell the wife, I go, yeah, these things are made to be extra sturdy. Those are insurance screws. We didn't need those. Insurance screws. Insurance screws. That's great. All right.

Let's answer some questions. Hey, Spitwatch. Today's episode is sponsored by Ritual. Look, protein powders, there's a lot of them. They can be intimidating. The fact is, we all need protein. It's not just about your muscles. It helps your bone health and a lot more.

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And that's where my ritual is. I got my ritual bag up there. I go in there. I put it in a little shaker bottle. Bingo, bingo. Sounds like you have a ritual. I do. I do.

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our listeners will get 10% off during their first three months at ritual.com slash spitballers. Ritual even offers a money back guarantee. If you're not a hundred percent in love, visit ritual.com slash spitballers today for 10% off your first three months. That's a great question. Oh, Sean from Twitter. You should never have 25 insurance screws left over, by the way.

Sean from Twitter. What are some of the best ways to convince someone you know what you're talking about when you have no clue no clue at all what is the best way to convince people now is this just like a discussion i'm not giving a talk am i no i don't think so i think you're just conversing about a topic there's there's a there's a there's a party happening and i have summoned up the courage that i have broken into a circle which is already difficult in itself i have now become the fourth person in this conversation, and I have discovered that they are talking about something that I know nothing about. That's the situation that we find ourselves in.

Yeah, but you duped yourself, let's say. Let's say you started this conversation, and you thought you did know what you were talking about, and so you were pot committed now. You're like, oh, absolutely, yeah. And then you realize it's not what you thought, and you have no idea, but they know that you're pot committed now you're like oh absolutely yeah and then you realize it's not what you thought and you have no idea but they know that you're an expert i've got a strategy and that is to i mean at this point in time it's a pride situation for you you could look foolish so i'd i'd try to appeal to their pride by saying things like conceding that they already know things

for instance you've seen the studies if you insinuate that you've seen all the studies then they have to say no i haven't seen the studies so you they're the idiot you you are you are quadrupling down like have you ever cited a study that doesn't exist well here's the best part of his plan the best part of his plan dr franklin we all read that paper right they have to come back one of two ways they come back and say oh you mean the study about how this thing does this and so now you do know then you're done yeah or they come back and say, no, I'm unaware, which means you can say whatever you want. They don't know. I feel like either way, the emperor has no clothes right now.

But that's when you say, oh, yeah, I'll send them to you later. First of all. I'll make a note. I'll make a note. I don't want to forget to send you these things. The true answer here is confidence. It is confidence. Whenever you're talking about something you don't know, if you're confident and you speak quickly and boldly and assertively then everyone

knows that you know what you're talking about if you're kind of struggling about like you know well i i think uh everyone sees through it you just have to be confident in whatever you say right wrong or otherwise if you want to stay in this world of trying to convince someone you know what you're talking about it's all confidence i mean you see people you see those videos where it's like people just confidently walk in a place you know and they can get through all the security because because it's just like sure they're not worried people will accept pure foolishness if said confidently because it seems like you're right i learned a lot from the film zootopia where i don't know if you guys remember this part of the movie where uh the fox i think his name is nick i can't remember but the fox is talking to the bunny only you know what the

fox's name in zootopia is mike no no jason i just watched it like a week ago yeah zoootopia is Mike. No, no, Jason. I just watched it like a week ago. Yeah, Zootopia is fantastic. It's incredible. Yeah, thank you. And he's instructing Officer Hopps because she's scared to give a press conference. And he says, all you do is you repeat their question, but then you answer it with your own question. And then you answer it with your own question and then you answer that question because now you have you have they're like like what do you think about this

and you're like well hold on well what do i think about uh uh what do i think about frank well let me tell you interesting yes i like frank and you like you you completely distract people with a brand new question. I like that. I think those are all good. That's called politics. You would be elected. Yeah, exactly.

Just ask your own question and answer it. It's misdirection. Exactly. That's what it is. You're misdirecting the conversation. But in the end, I think we all learned you just cite the studies. Yeah, the studies are very key. That's in my back pocket now. I cannot wait to break that thing out.

You've seen that. You obviously know this to be true. But you guys obviously know that my technique is I wait until Andy brings up the studies. I throw a metaphorical smoke bomb and I vanish into the shadows. You say metaphorical, but you're literally saying smoke bomb, throwing your hand to the ground and then leaving. Well, it's way more fun that way that I whisper it that you guys can hear me. Yes. Smoke bomb. That doesn't exactly convince somebody that you know what you're talking about, but it doesn't prove that you don't either if you

disappear. I got a small bladder. What are you going to do do about it chas from the website has another great question for us what is the pettiest silliest most meaningless hill that you are willing to die on oh man now i can think of one that you guys have brought up before but now i am on that side and that is the overnight under toilet paper yes i'm glad we're bringing that up again because you can never it really should be brought up every episode for the sake of people uh everywhere that the toilet paper needs to needs to be over not under you can't take the toilet paper out from the back side no you have no idea what's on that toilet paper you can't you can't slap it and get all the toilet paper you want yeah you give that thing a yank and you know what's coming out? The entire roll of toilet paper.

I was never partial to one or the other, never paid any mind to it, was ignorant in my foolishness, and then you brought forth the over-poured toilet paper, and I don't care where I'm at. I choose to believe. I fix it in another home. I'm not going to allow that to stand. I'm changing our society. I choose to believe that this platform that we have has changed the minds of many. Probably.

Absolutely. In some way. You've seen the studies. Yeah. We've seen the studies. We know. We know. But is there something else that...

Al, do you have something in your head that you admit is both petty but necessary for you to persist in i mean we've all been married long enough that some of those things might come forward those cabinet doors got to get closed after you get something out of them oh really you've got to close the cat so if it's open do you can you be put into a bad mood really quickly? Oh, yeah. Interesting. Do you guys have a word pronunciation that bothers you? Because, unfortunately, my daughter just... And I felt like I was very kind with her, but the word nuclear... Oh.

It's got nuclear. Yeah, nuclear. And that's like... I try to be as gracious as i can with words like oh i'm on the i am fully on the stance of if i make up a word on the spot that i thought was a real word and you know the message i'm conveying guess what that's a new word like that's i'm not going to give people crap for that. But nuclear, nuclear. That's one that I would just... Gif and jif? Oh, yeah.

Oh, my gosh. I will die on that hill. I will die on that hill. It is a gif. You won't die because you'll be surrounded by my army, and we will hold that hill. We've been in the tech world for the time that the tech world has been here. It's a gift.

I don't care what the owner said, the creator. Oh, the creator said this. Get out of here. Look, okay, but here's where the pettiness comes in. How does the creator of this format, which is a revolutionary format that we use gifts in daily daily communication how does this person

make an acronym that the the first word is literally the word graphic graphic and then say no it's jif like it like the first word is like a graphic if you'd like to see him if you'd like to see a man dying on a hill here it is he's breaking it down with shame look he lost control of that word once it's what the populace uses

it's not what the originator means unless it's your name if it's your actual name you have a right to it over everybody else he has no right it is a gif like if I call you Jasson If it's your actual name, you have a right to it over everybody else. He has no right. It is a gift. Welcome to Jurassic Park. If I call you Jasson, you say Jurassic Park? Yes.

That's what it would be. Jurassic Park. That makes no sense. Also, I'll throw a couple things out there. Questions during a movie that we're seeing for the same time. You know what I mean? Now we're just talking pet peeves. We're not talking about things we're seeing for the same time like i don't know you know what i mean like i don't know we're just talking pet peeves we're not talking about yeah that's not a pet peeve i know what you're saying though when there's so many like i'm okay with one maybe you missed

something and you're saying hey what what but when it's like every two or three minutes it's like well what is this i'm like i'm seeing the same movie you're seeing there's a big difference between what did he say and what do you think he's going to do those are two very different questions i always say like yeah we're gonna find out here it's the part of the plot it's coming up yeah i hit them hovering together i know exactly what you know at this point yeah i get it hold on let me go reference the script i already read all right let's do one more here before our draft joel from patreon if you see a spider in a room and then it scurries off before you can kill it how long do you have to wait before you consider that room spider free

that is such an important question and it couldn't be more timely in two ways in two ways one i didn't let my kids go swim in the pool yesterday why because i saw a black widow web between two chairs in the pool area if i wait wait hold on hold on yeah please educate me how did you know it was a black widow web very easy black widow webs are discombobulated and they're all and they're not pretty they're in these crazy directions you can always tell what they are it doesn't look like a real normal web it looks like a big like a drunk spider just no other spiders do that no no okay i knew it and i said to myself i would google it live except i

would die yeah i i could have gotten a broom and cleared out this giant web and let them swim. But then there's a hidden secret black widow that nobody knows where it is. So instead, I had to set an alarm for late at night, ban people from the pool area, wait to creep out there at a late part of the night. And there he lied on his jacked up web right in the middle. You found him. I got him. Gave him a little spray spray.

Wait, do spiders always come back to their web at night? Is this like a... Yeah. If you leave it there, that's where they chill out in the middle of the night, right in the middle of their web. Wow. You don't know a lot about spiders because you're horribly terrified of them. That is right.

Here's what I know. You don't research them very often. They're from the devil. No, I can't research them. I wanted to look up Black Widow web. I'll handle this, Jason. Yeah, I can't do it. So this is a good question, though, because what happens if it's in the room?

Well, the timeline is dependent upon centimeters. That's how it comes down. How do you mean? Well, a one centimeter spider, the timeline is immediately. You're okay. Like, it never happened. There was no spider. If it scurries off and it's under one centimeter, no spider.

There was never, you saw nothing, delete from memory. Okay. But it's exponential growth. I don't believe you. It's not like one, no, I have to, Mike. No, I can see that. I mean, one centimeter, that's small. I have to live that way, Mike.

Because if I don't have the ability to delete spiders from my memory, then every time I see a spider, I move homes. You burn the house down. Yeah. We were just talking. My wife and I were talking about this downstairs today. Like, I killed a scorpion on our front porch. Al Borland was there. He saw it.

I did. And I took... Hold on. What technique? What technique? What technique was with... I have this gigantic... Was this a boot or a spray?

I know what it was. Neither. It was the complete works of William Shakespeare. It is a gigantic book oh you got the book okay you dropped knowledge on him i dropped knowledge on him and his mind exploded his tiny little brain couldn't his tiny little brain couldn't handle the entire works of william shakespeare to be fair not many of us can't right the william shakespeare i have to know though because when i left that day

that book was still sitting there on the porch has it moved the book is literally on my my computer is resting upon the book i can take it out you you are moving all over the place i'm moving all over the place so that i can take out the book that is resting such a humongous book for those of you not able to see it, it is a gigantic, gigantic book. And you use that to kill more than one creature. Oh, absolutely. But here's the thing.

If there was a tarantula on my front porch, and I could do the same thing. There's no way it would survive. This book is heavy. I could throw it there and explode this sucker. There is no chance in the world that I would ever be. I walked out. I was not afraid of that scorpion.

I could kill it. No problem. If there was a small spider, I could kill it. No problem. That's insane. If it's a full-size tarantula, I am deceased, and our for sale sign goes up immediately. So that's what i'm saying it's all a matter of time you're on amazon saying i need a new works of shakespeare book

because this one will never how are you that afraid of would you be willing tarantula like to me a scorpion is docile And a tarantula can bite. I mean, I'm not going to ignore that. I don't think a tarantula can actually really harm you. I'm going to contend with that fact. I'll put an argument here. I don't know if that's true. But a scorpion is armed with multiple weapons.

A scorpion is built to fight things. It is a warrior. It's got claws on the front. It's got a weapon in the back. It's got venom running through its body. Scorpions are terrifying. Here's the deal. It's been proven.

I've seen the studies. They are from other planets. They are not from this planet. I have. Yeah, you've seen the studies. Genetically, they are from another planet yeah they don't make sense um the the this isn't a physical battle this isn't whether or not it's a mental battle it's a mental battle and you're a weak spider man large spiders large spiders can murder my soul quicker. Have you ever seen a wild tarantula in Arizona? Whatever, anywhere, but I mean, we live in Arizona.

Because I've never seen a wild tarantula. I've seen one. My mother caught one at her property. She lived a little bit up north, and thankfully, she thought, oh, I'll just keep this in a Tupperware for when Jason comes over. And she did. And she did. And so, yeah, that's my one and only experience.

I will say this. It does get in your head. We recently went up to a cabin up north that does not have the best weatherproofing for bugs. There were spiders, old dead spiders that you could see on the walls, some live spiders. It gets into your head because when I close my eyes to sleep every night, I see spiders casting webs. So what happened was I tried to fall asleep with that mental picture. A small, and I mean probably one centimeter, moth landed on my face in the middle of the night while i was falling asleep one i slapped my own face as hard as a person can slap something two i then projected this creature onto my wife who was sleeping next to me she was mad at the slap sound that woke her up and then did

not turn the light on didn't care care. She said, what's wrong? I said, oh, it's a moth. She goes, uh, going back to sleep. Then I said, I threw it onto you. Then the light came on and we found the moth. But it is a mental game because, look, if I fall asleep, that thing can crawl on my face without me knowing. A moth? Not a moth, a spider.

A spider can, the hidden spider that you think is not in the room, if you fall asleep, you are not on high alert. It can climb up your nose. It can do it if it wants to. It's a fair argument, but I see the spider as, moths are far more, you can't predict what a moth is going to do like a spider. No.

And the spider, his goal is to eat the moth. His goal is to eat your soul, Mike. Let me close it out. We'll go to the draft, but I'm going to ask Mike the question. I'm going to just... Theoretically. All right. You're in a bedroom.

There's a black widow. It scurries off. Are you not sleeping until you find it? A black widow? Yeah. Correct. I will find. Yes.

That room is never spider free in your mind until that black widow is found. Yes. If you're talking about a black widow you're talking about I know for sure it's a brown what are they brown recluse brown recluse yeah

is that yeah if I know for sure it's those two then yes I'm not sleeping what if you go in your room and there's a grizzly bear

and it scurries off and you don't know where it went how long until it's grizzly bear free you know how cuddly those things look compared to a brown recluse

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The Spitballers Draft. All right, we are drafting the perfect sack lunch. Now, I don't know where this is going to go. I know everyone has to draft an entree. Everyone has to draft a beverage. Then we're going to give you two wild cards for this sack lunch. I know the places I'm going. The places I'm going are to my childhood and to my grade school days. You may not go there. You may just be trying to craft it for your own purposes. I don't know. But Jason gets to pick first. Look, I'm not in a grade school cafeteria on YouTube for no reason.

I'm going to grade school, and I'm going to pack the lunch I wanted to have packed, and I get the first pick. And look, this is a terrible draft to have the first pick because when I think about building my perfect sack lunch, I am almost willing to bet that the four items I want for my entree, drink, wild card, and wild card are going to be there for me at pick one, two, three, and four.

Oh, I thought you were going to be on the classic Jason train tracks of the first four picks that I want are going to be the first four picks that everybody takes. No, I'm Jason Moore. It's the exact opposite. So I'm going to start with one that I don't think either of you two are going to be too disappointed it's gone, but it's the staple. It's the classic. And if I'm getting a sack lunch and going to grade school, I want me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white if it feels like it feels like no healthy bread here this is feel like it's the pick i would have gone with it pick two fantastic peanut butter and jelly sandwich check not not relevant for your actual pick you get a

peanut butter and jelly sandwich and that can be any jelly and any peanut butter and so it's mine just curious though if you were to build it smooth or chunky and then what kind of creamy strawberry, but don't hear what I'm not saying. Okay. Because if you want to give me a grape chunky, that's fantastic. You want to, I mean, I don't really care. I'm just saying the best is creamy strawberry. All right.

All right. Well, that makes sense. I also know that it's an entree, so that one's off the board for you. Not that you couldn't draft other entrees in your wild cards, but that means I'm going to go with the other staple that I think I've got to have, and I'm going to go with chocolate milk. Okay. Okay. I'm going to go with beverage.

I think chocolate milk is just, you know. We grew up in different places. You were a white milk man? I was not allowed to get the chocolate milk. You were not allowed to get the, which is why I'm packing it. Because I wasn't allowed every time. To my children listening at home, you are also not allowed to get the chocolate milk. What about on like a special, like a casual Friday, Mike?

You don't pack them a little like a drink. Look, I'm not a dictator. Every once in a while, fine, we'll get the chocolate milk. But I'm just saying. Wait, you're not giving them skim milk, are you? Oh, what, snot? No. No, my children don't drink snot.

Here's the problem with chocolate milk. Because I had thought about what's my perfect lunch. The first thing that comes to mind for me for my drink was a chocolate milk. So obviously I'm not saying it's perfect. But then I was like, I'm not bringing milk in my wake to lunch hour. I know you got an ice pack in there. You might have an ice pack. I don't want my dairy getting all warm and a nice warm chocolate milk.

Milk was a bad choice. When we were kids, we went to lunch at like 10 in the morning. Half the grades went at like 10 in the morning. I'm fine. I'm packing that thing for two hours. I'm not worried about temperature control here. Can I just say I miss 10 a.m. lunches. I mean, if we can bring that back into our adult lives, lunch starts at 10 a.m.

Real talk. If you ate lunch at 10 a.m. 12.45 is lunch. How many dinners do you have? How many meals in a day? Are you a Cinco? Are you going five? That would be five meals a day, yes.

What you would have is you'd have breakfast early lunch late lunch early dinner late supper dinner i'm i'm pretty much a hobbit i mean you know first lunch second wait hobbits have first lunch they have many meals yes i remember that from the movies yeah all right mike you get two picks which is a nice place to be yeah it's it's tough it's tough uh So I got the back-to-back picks. So let's see. And I'm going to play the draft. Let's see. So one entree, one beverage off the board.

I feel like I have at least two beverages that I'm very happy to take. I might have second beverage, though. That's true. Oh, that's dastardly. I know. Wild card. That's what the wild, that's dastardly. I know. Wild card. That's what the wild cards do. Are you a thirsty little fella?

Thirsty. Yes, yes. All right. Well, since we have to fill the draft, I'm going to start with a wild card, and I will take what I consider to be the best object in a sack lunch. I will take the Oreo cookie. It is the best of the snack desserts to me. Real quick.

I have been held to what I say. You don't get double stuff. I have been held to what I say, and so we have to hold Mike to what he said. He did say cookie. The Oreo cookie. He gets one Oreo cookie. He drafted the Oreo cookie. I would love to stick with that, but I get it.

That's the most ridiculous argument. He gets the sleeve. We have heard it. A whole sleeve? Because I'm talking about lunches. I'm talking clearly about the lunch pack of Oreos. Oreos sleeves are so great because it was more Oreos in that sleeve

than I would get if I was given Oreos from a package at home from my parents. I'd get two or four. Don't those have like six in that sleeve? You better draft milk right now or you're going to make a mistake. I'm just throwing that out there. Unnecessary. Unnecessary? To have no milk with Oreos?

What in the world are you living in? Are you going milk with Oreos? What world are you living in? Are you going to have Oreos and water? A world where I eat Oreos and I don't have to drink milk. You live in a weird, strange world. It's awful. All are welcome in this world. You took Oreos. Well, look, you're not going to pretend that they're better without milk, right?

Oh, I won't pretend that okay but it's not a necessity if and he loves like cinnamon toast crunch without like a bowl of cereal i just cannot remember the last time genuinely that i have eaten oreos and not had milk with it in some capacity it's impossible all right it's fair it's fair all right now do i go with another wild card oh man see that this is what's great about defining the draft is i am so torn on my picks not because not just because i'm afraid you're gonna take my picks but i gotta i gotta play these positions here can we can we change the title of the draft since we're already we're all in the same place the perfect childhood sack lunch can we make it that i mean that's that's fair we're drafting

but let me ask you this you're an adult when's the last time you had a sack lunch right i mean it's kind of implied exactly when i went on my kids field trip that's when i had a sack lunch and it was full of Oreos. I'm wanting the voters out there to just associate with that nostalgia automatically. Great school sack lunch. Yeah. That works. All right.

So you go one more, Mike. So I got Oreos. We're just loading up on the junk food over here. Give me the Doritos, baby. All right. Let's go. Let's go. That's great.

That's great. This is making me hungry and miss being a kid. Team unhealthy give me the Doritos and the Oreos. I'll figure everything else out later. Alright so you Jason you took an entree with the PB&J sandwich.

And I know what I'm going to try to take here. I would like to draft a second peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's a wild card. Isn't it my pick? Oh, no. It is Andy's pick.

Shoot. Although you can't draft that because I already drafted it. That's, whew, thank goodness. Here's a man who's so excited about peanut butter and and jelly that he will, he will skip the draft order. I was so excited when Mike finished his, I couldn't wait to try. Cause you were worried Mike was going to try. No,

nobody can draft him. It's bad. It's bad strategy. Like if I can have it, I should draft it with my last pick because I already have it. So you guys can't draft it, but I just want it so bad. So I feel like you're drafting a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

And then you're like, well, my second pick, I will take an uncrustable peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's very different. This one's in a package. I'm going to go ahead and pick, though, Jay. Do you mind? Okay. No, you're on the clock. That's fair.

I'm going to select Gushers. I'm taking Gushers. That's an excellent pick. Gushers was at the top of the fruit snack mountain. It lived in a pristine, amazing place. It's an excellent pick. It had the technology ability to take a fruit snack and give me the Gusher power. So Gushers are one of my absolute favorites.

It's hard to badmouth them, but there are two ways that you can badmouth Gushers, so I will proceed. It's tough for me, but i'll find a way way number one when you volume when you open a gushers that is that is usually two seconds before you're out of gushers yeah i mean how did they legally get away with putting like four gushers are big that's how they put they're big but there's not a lot in there there's not a lot in there. There's not a lot in there. It's the smallest little package. A lot of gush power. Yeah.

And the second is that sometimes they all just melt together, and you end up with one big cluster of gushers. That's true. That's an Arizona gusher problem, specific to Arizona. Yeah. But I'm taking gushers because they were an old favorite, and I never got them. It's an excellent pick. Excellent pick.

I just never got them. All right. So I'm on the clock, and now I have to ask, am I allowed to draft a second peanut butter and jelly sandwich? And you guys are shaking your heads. This is only Al Borland. I will allow it. Yeah.

Go for it. All right. I got a second peanut butter and jelly sandwich for me, man. I don't want to open this lunch up and have it disappear in two seconds like Andy and his gushers. I'm having – you know what happens when you finish your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? You're sad that you don't have any more peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Well, not this guy. I didn't get this body for no reason.

Andy, we're learning a lot. We're learning so much. The two sandwich problems started at childhood. Yeah. Well, look. You have had two picks so far. I'll say my pick. They're both peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

You have another pick. Do you want a third? I do not have another pick here. Oh, wait. I do. I am on that. I won't argue. Okay.

All right. Great. If this is not those peanut butter crackers that we all had as kids, the Ritz peanut butter crackers, I don't know. No, I am going so my my side is the most important thing to me but i'm very confident that you guys aren't going to draft the specific one that i want so i'm going to go with a sunny d because i don't have to worry about how refrigerated it was one of my it was one of my two i don't't want soda. I don't want the purple stuff.

Yeah, look, Sunny D is like a classic. You don't want OJ. No, OJ. That needs to be refrigerated. I can get Sunny D and leave it out forever. I mean, that's the fakest thing ever. That's like the Yoo-Hoo, right? Like if I had gone Yoo-Hoo. Exactly.

Yoo-Hoo, you don't need to refrigerate that. Send that with all your children. Chocolate water. So I got orange juice water in sunny delight and i and two two peanut butter jelly sandwiches you do have two that's i'm thrilled i am thrilled all right for my third pick because i'm mike doesn't have an entree yet i have two you have two i need to grab it before my next pick so i I'm going to go with the thing that, again, I rarely got. I was jealous of kids who had them.

I thought they tasted delicious. And I'm going with a Lunchable. I'm getting the Lunchable in my sack lunch. All right. That's huge. People love Lunchables. I thought about it. I wasn't sure if it would be allowed.

I think it's allowed. But here's the thing about a sack lunch is the Lunchable. That's true. The Lunchable is the cheat code for parents because they're like, okay, pack lunch for your kid. And you go, Lunchable, done. You don't have another anything. You don't put that in.

You definitely do. No, you don't. It comes with a dessert. It comes with a side. So you're thinking it because it's too exhaustive as a Lunchable? I don't. It comes with a dessert. It comes with a side. So you're thinking it because it's too exhaustive as a Lunchable? I don't. Yeah, because it has main course, dessert, and side. If Al wants me to pick something else, I've got more things to pick.

I give my kids a Lunchable all the time for school. I feel like a Lunchable. And that's all they get. They had some Lunchables that were just the meat, cheese, and cracker. What's funny is the first thing I thought of with this draft was a Lunchable, and I had disqualified it in my head because of the same reason. Oh, bam! Yes!

Yes! And he goes, boom! Yeah, I got it. Oh, that's a boom back on you. A Lunchable is crackers, meat, and cheese. Then why don't you just dress that? What's in the fourth slot? There's not always a fourth slot.

There's always a fourth slot. There's always a fourth slot. There's always a fourth slot. I don't get Lunchables. No, but you can draft crackers, meat and cheese for your entree. Yeah, meat and crackers. I feel like a travesty is taking place. Oh, yes. The honest truth is, if you thought lunchables were okay

and i thought lunchables were okay you think they were making it past the turn there's no they were not in other words it's off the table then is that what al has declared that sounds like what our final verdict i I have Googled. I just Googled Lunchables. Everything that comes down to Lunchables, they do not have a dessert. Turkey and cheddar. No, I'm taking Lunchables. That's all they have? Yes, they have the meat, cheese, and crackers.

That's all it is. Turkey and cheddar. Okay, that's fine. You get one of those. You get one of those. I don't know. Every one I got has like an Oreo. Did you type the word lunchable in?

Because that's what's coming up. All I typed was lunchable. You have two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You don't get a vote on nothing. I'm taking a lunchable, Mike. You're on the clock. All right. So I've taken my two miscellaneous.

That means I have to go entree and beverage, which is excellent because I know exactly what I will take. And I know I'm a... I am a... Jason shakes his head because he knows exactly what I'm going to draft. I don't. It shouldn't even be allowed. Go on. What?

Well, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Okay. Well, number one, I am in the minority of this battle. I understand that.

I accept it. But sometimes you're still on the right side. And I will take peanut butter and honey, which is by far, it is not even close. It is the superior sandwich to peanut butter and jelly. You guys know how many PB&H I have had since quarantine hit? I knew that's what you're going to draft. I need more hands. I need more hands.

I can't count them on two hands. I know how many peanut butter and honeys you've had. It's off the charts. That is so close to a peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter and sweet sauce. It's close, charts. That is so close to a peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter and sweet sauce. It's close, but it is not. Well, then let me just recommend that you... Oh, you already took your wild cards.

I was going to say you should add a second peanut butter and honey because they are good. That would have been a great pick. I didn't even think of that. I was qualified to take two very quickly. I've had a lot as well recently because of you. The PBH? Yeah, I opened that door.

It's delicious. It's a great sandwich. It's a great sandwich. It is very, very similar. For you to say how superior it is is strange because it is so similar in taste to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. They're both great. I think because you feel like you're in the minority on the honey, you need to vilify

the jelly, and you don't need to do that. They can coexist. You are 100% correct that I feel like I have to. I got to throw up the X. I am in defensive mode. Yes, you are. I got to put you guys in guard and let you know that Peter Burr honey is fantastic. that peanut butter and honey is fantastic and what

childhood snack or not snack, I'm sorry, lunch would be incomplete without the Capri Sun, my friends. The Capri Sun. A little bit of flavored water. It doesn't matter what it is

because it is the king. It is the queen. It is the ruler of all childhood drinks along i think i had more it's great i think i had more like uh like the juice boxes that's fine but but anyone with anybody who's cool had a capri sun if you had a juice box you look over and go oh i want to want to trade they got a capri sun that yeah i'll give you my sandwich i got two i'll give you my extra sandwich in my juice box for that capri sun you ain't getting my extra sandwich i'll tell you that right and then and then you go mono e mono trying to get that straw in there until you give

up and turn it upside down and just jab it through the bottom oh is that a is that a life hack that was that's what i had to do because anytime I would try and go through. Well, then you just hold it. Hold on. You're putting yours down? Yes, I'm putting mine down. You put your Capri Sun down? Yes.

I mean, I'm not just. I know it's a small pouch. Have you seen Mike eat a meal? He does it very quickly. I'm surprised he doesn't just bring scissors, cut off the top, and drink it. Wait, is that the catalyst to why you eat and drink so fast? You could never put stuff down because you don't know how to open it? It's possible. Anytime, as a child, I had

to go, I was trying to go through the straw hole for Capri Sun. That meant that I have just run the Capri Sun through and the straw is now pointing out the back of it. Alright, I will finish my, oh, stop. right. I will finish my...

Oh, stop. Stop. I see Al Borland. He changed my Lunchable to Dessert Less Lunchable. That's what we determined. It's a Lunchable. That's what we determined. It doesn't come with a drink.

So all you people who say you just put the Lunchable in the bag, did you get a drink with it? Well, there are Lunchables with drinks. There's a bag for them for a reason i'm looking at one with who it's got a minion on it and it comes with a capri sun that's the ones when we get the ones for our kids they do include a drink like i said it's the cheat code for being a parent if you have to pack a lunch you're like screw this crap here's the lunchable what's crazy is the lunchables my kids get are never the meat and cheese and crackers.

It's always like a pizza, which is so disgusting. The pizza ones. Yeah, they want to build their own pizza, and it's not cooked, obviously. They just put the pizza sauce and the pepperonis or whatever, and they love that. Or they like the sub sandwiches. Look, I considered cold pizza for my entree. You never had the- Oh, yeah. That was a special day, actually, when I got to bring that.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm going to close it out with the- This is just a jealousy draft. I clearly did not grow up with any of the things I wanted to eat in my sandwich or in my sack lunch. I've got the Gushers I never got. I got the Lunchable I never got.

I'm going to close it out with what I thought was straight up delicious. I'm taking Dunkaroos. Do you remember Dunkaroos? Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course. Oh, Jason doesn't remember Dunkaroos? It sounds like little donuts. It's like a chocolate stick and it's frosting or something?

No, they're little cookies that you dipped in frosting, that you scooped in frosting. They were outstanding. So I'm taking dunkaroos to close it out i vaguely remember i don't think i ever had dunkaroos clearly dunkaroos went flying through our school that's it was yeah it was a passing trend we went to the same school though listen jason if you tried them you would eat the whole package of course i would i mean that's kind of what i do. But all right. You get to close this out.

I am realizing a giant mistake. I feel like I'm... Is it the second sandwich? I feel like I'm a dessert short on my options here because I took that second sandwich. Because all that jelly is not enough. The Sunny D is not enough sugar. So I move that we have one more round of this draft because there's two things i really want now i'm gonna take the one that is true to my heart now versus as a child because children love them all the same

but zebra cakes little debbie zebra cakes are so stinky good and what i would okay what i want to have as well as the nutty bars nutty bars were like gold at my school i mean you i remember the nutty bar phase yes you could nutty bars and honey buns oh yeah oh honey honey buns you are honey buns bro star crunch star oh man all right i remember i've got to go track down in 1990s uh cafeteria real quick well you let me know when the honey buns are sure i'm gonna be there just out of out of curiosity as we're saying all these things, how much cancer did we eat? Yeah, a lot. Did we eat a lot of cancer?

So, yes. Not compared to how much diabetes you ate. That's true. Yeah, we certainly ate more diabetes. Before the show, we decided that we were going to do entree, drink, wild card, wild card versus just open, like four item sack lunch, you build your own lunch. Because Jason would have taken four desserts. That's 100% right.

My lunch, and this is what I did in high school, and I think this says a lot, is I would have drafted a zebra cake, a nutty bar, a star crunch, and a ding dong or something. A Twinkie. You would have drafted a snack bar, yes. Yes, and that's what I would usually do. I'd try to trade my food for money, and I would go to the snack bar and buy all treats. And now look where it's gotten me. Diabetes.

All right, so your final draft is peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and jelly, Sunny D and zebra cakes. I have chocolate milk, a Gushers, a Lunchable, and some Dunkaroos, Oreos, Doritos, peanut butter and honey sandwich, and a Capri Sun for Mike. Sounds about right. Yeah. I think you guys are just mad about the Lunchable because here's the thing. It's a sack lunch.

You could put it in a sack. There ain't nothing wrong with that. I didn't even go with the put it in here's the thing. It's a sack lunch. You can put it in a sack. There ain't nothing wrong with that. I didn't even go with the put it in the sack lunch argument. No, I completely agree. I just believe that if I had Lunchables for my kids, that's what they got. They got a Lunchable, and maybe I would throw a drink in there. It's just the difference between a 1990s Lunchable and a modern-day Lunchable. The current Lunchables are gigantic.

That's why we said grade school sack lunch. I mean, we're going back in time anyway. Yeah, dessert lunch Lunchable and a modern day lunch. Like the current Lunchables are gigantic. That's why we said grade school sack lunch. I mean, we're going back in time anyway. Yeah, dessert lunchable. Here were some things that I thought of that we didn't draft. You remember cheese balls? Those are really. Oh, like the Planters one? Yeah, just the Planters cheese balls.

Yeah. Those are pretty good. Those are great. Thought about any of the yogurts or gogurts or like the Trix yogurts that you'd get as a kid. The problem with the tube of yogurt is that thing is gone in approximately two seconds. You can literally just go. Yeah, you just go. It makes that sound when you eat it too.

Yeah, the little slide whistle. Do you remember Handy Snacks and how horrible those things were? I don't. Oh, yeah. No, you do. The four little crackers and then the thing of cheese and you get a little plastic thing to spread the cheese on it you there's no way you don't know what handy snacks are mike i'm sure i i do it's just the

name is not bringing it to memory but do you guys remember at all uh after the lunchables hit then the uh the the big tuna decided they were getting into that game as well and they would make like after the Lunchables hit then the Big Tuna decided they were getting into that game as well and they would make these tuna fish Lunchables. Big Tuna. Big Tuna got into it. Did you guys have anything else you wanted to surface before we ask what we learned today? No, I'm good. I'm starving.

What did we learn today? I learned that I didn't get as many things that I really wanted as a kid. I wasn't the snack bar kid either. My parents never gave me any money for the snack bar. I was jealous of all the kids in the snack bar. Yeah, I would bring my own at some point. I'd just scrounge around the house, find extra extra quarters and those things became gold at school they became star crunches the rapper pizzas yeah um i learned that all of the extra hardware when

i'm finished building something those are known as insurance screws that's right no doubt about it yes and i learned the ultimate mic drop in a conversation is uh per the studies i mean it's like that that is well have you seen him mike yeah have you have you seen the study learned the ultimate mic drop in a conversation is per the studies. Well, have you seen them, Mike? Yeah, have you seen the studies? Yeah, have you seen them? Alright, that does it for us. Thank you for tuning in.

It's so obnoxious and insulting at the exact same time. It's incredible. It's perfect. It's a spectacular answer. You cannot come back from that. Thank you for tuning in, Spitballs. We will see you next week. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to,

check out SpitballersPod.com.