Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Keto Mosquitoes & Nostalgic Childhood Toys - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

Spit Hit for May 12, 2022: Today’s show is jam packed with hilarity! Find out how to distinguish a pipe vs. a tunnel. Find out what product has simultaneously gotten worse and more expensive. Find out what life changing item you can buy for less than $100. Everything you need to live a fulfilled life can be found right here on the Spitballers podcast! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

spit wads we have a great spit hit episode for you today not just great the greatest oh because better i know it's better than great that's the definition of this show better than great look we we have sometimes on the show where we have to illuminate we have to tell you what's the difference so we look at the difference between a pipe and a tunnel on today's episode and you can find out what life-changing item you can buy for less than a hundred dollars make sure you tune in enjoy the episode. And you can find out what life-changing item you can buy for less than $100. Make sure you tune in. Enjoy the episode. We love you. Enjoy. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?

It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Mother meets the eye, robots in disguise, here comes Buzinki! That one went long. I didn't time that up right. I like the self-evaluation immediately after. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a one-shot. That's what makes this whole show is a one-shot.

I don't even know if people realize that, but they should. Oh, my goodness. I didn't need to. I mean, if I just went Badingi, I think I went Bazingi. I think I alternated. You dropped a Z in there. It's because I knew I was running out of syllables. There was not enough time.

If people don't realize this is a one-shot, they're like, no, this is the best that they could possibly do. They've got back. They're editing. They're redoing things. Take 12 is what you just got. We're doing a toy draft. Oh, man.

We're doing a childhood toy draft on the show today. Thought about Transformers, one of many, many, many, many, many toys that could be drafted in the draft. Yeah, Bazingi. And Bazingi. And that's where we're at. All right.

At SpitballersPod on Twitter, SpitballersPod.com is the website. Instagram.com slash SpitballersPod on Twitter, SpitballersPod.com is the website, Instagram.com slash SpitballersPod. Welcome in. If you're a brand new listener to the show and you've made it this far, you have overcome some obstacles to get here. Whatever music snobs are listening,

they turned it off immediately after you ran over a measure. When you start to make a mistake on a scout, I think the one thing you've learned is that you want to raise the volume at the end. It covers up everything. Get louder and everything else gets better. We have Would You Rather on the show today.

That's a great question. As I said, we're going to be drafting the best childhood toys. Now, that's our best childhood toy well yeah our favorite nostalgic toys and you know we have a weekly vote and it'll be interesting because some toys are more memorable some toys are more played with like they get the most use i get tired as a dad of spending money on really neat toys that live in a closet. Yeah.

Let me ask you this, dad. Is that toy, that really neat toy that you buy, is it a game that lives inside of a screen or a computer? Nope. No. So then it's not played with. That's the rule nowadays if it's not a oh if it doesn't have a screen and it's not a game on a computer i mean maybe okay an ipad will suffice but i have learned that you cannot infuse interest into a child by buying them a toy

you cannot make them play with it the way that you think that you would want them to play with it they cannot fall in love with it you can't make them play with it the way that they tell you they're going to play with it oh that's the most amazing part mike that's true oh i want this more than anything in the whole wide world i mean i look i had a long conversation conversation with my wonderful son he wanted this really epic big large full disneyland castle lego set for christmas it was what we call not cheap it's the big gift it's the big it's the big gift yeah it's the bazingi and um here's the deal leading all the way up to the to the christmas season i told them flat out i was like no i'm not getting it for you it's too expensive and i don't i think you're gonna get halfway through make a mistake and you're not going to finish it i i don't know how many hundreds of times it's like oh you cannot quit if you end up with this you cannot quit i'm

not getting it because i'm worried we there was a mistake made about i don't know a third of the way in and that castle was a third of the way done forever never he never followed through he never finished no so you know you win live and learn here's another learn and burn your money here's another thing that you learn with toys and and as a parent not everybody likes toys like i have two boys one of them loves you learn with toys and as a parent. Not everybody likes toys. Like, I have two boys. One of them loves toys, plays with toys, plays with his action figures. The other has no interest.

And that's how, growing up, I mean, Andy, you and I have discussed this, right? I love toys. You love toys? I played with them all the time. I had one toy growing up that I used. It was called a basketball. And that was it. Like, my life was just that.

This is wild stuff, man. Were you, Mike, did you play with toys? Oh, dude, I was called a basketball. And that was it. My life was just that. This is wild stuff, man. Mike, did you play with toys? I was an action figure. Yeah, that was the best. Jurassic Park. I would always tell my mom of this dream I had of making... I think I called them... Because at the time, they were my little guys.

They weren't action figures. My little guys. And I had these dreams of grandeur of this really elaborate little guy world where I was going to turn my entire room into this giant play area. And, I mean, eventually it took shape on the form of a beanbag. And it was not very small or not very large. It didn't last very long. But little guy World was built. I wonder, though, Mike, I'm having to step on to the lay down on the couch moment here.

We've talked about the fact that Jason does not like things, so to speak. Like he doesn't ask for memorabilia. He doesn't care about memorabilia. He doesn't have collector inside. No, everything in his frame on YouTube right now was was probably taken from the office it was taken from the studio i've got none of these little knickknacks but mike and i we do mike and i have them and i wonder if you know yeah you didn't grow up with a connection to a bunch of action figures his you didn't have any little guys i needed i needed my little guys i needed my little guys i'm sure have any little guys. I needed my little guys. I needed my little guys.

I'm sure I had little guys purchased for me. I just didn't care about them. You know what was funny, too, is when you were a kid and you watched a show, because all these toys came out of shows. They made the shows to sell you the toys. Oh, if you watch Power Rangers now, it's just a commercial. That's all it is. Did you know Transformers was made by a is yeah well like did you know you know transformers

was made by a toy company i did not know that yeah it was made to sell toys and it succeeded tremendously those toys i just made it the scat the broken scat was about transformers now michael bay can't stop making movies about him all that being said like it was also something to catch that show because you had to be there a lot You weren't recording it. Now I'm getting nostalgic already. We'll circle back to our toy draft. Let's get into some Would You Rather. Would You Rather. All right. I'm circling back already. Al Borland, did you have some little guys? I did have little guys, yes.

Okay, so three little guys and then one no little guys. Yeah, I was mommy's little guy. Oh, that's so nice. Yeah. All right, would you rather, question from Colby, Colby on Twitter, would you rather never see a thunderstorm again or have mosquitoes completely lose interest in you? This is one of the strangest low, low, like a risk, like zero, you know, some, some of these would you rathers are very high consequence. This seems like a very strange, low consequence would-you-rather.

Never see a thunderstorm again. A thunderstorm, and we can only speak from the perspective of Arizona, but a thunderstorm is awe-inspiring. Yeah, they're cool. Magnificent event. Weather event that takes place very rarely but when it does you just are wowed by the power of the earth and it's beautiful it's rain and the smell the smell of the air is clean for like 30 minutes it's unbelievable and there's huge loud rumbles from the sky as of this recording 100

plus days without rain out here so now you understand what's going on your skin during a thunderstorm is not usually baked to a crisp by the sun at the same time which is a delicious treat in arizona so yeah when i read this would you like to never see a thunderstorm again okay well that's terrible because i would love to see a thunderstorm or have mosquitoes. Or have mosquitoes. The worst thing in the entire world. The worst thing about sitting outside on your patio. I have mosquitoes.

I don't know where they're coming from. In Arizona, we have people who don't take care of their pools. They have sitting water somewhere. It's not me. I don't know where they're coming from but i'm being attacked by mosquitoes anytime i'm able to sit outside on my patio right now which is very rare very rare very rarely uh i i have uh i think i need to keep the thunderstorms as a part of my life who is getting rid of the thunderstorms for mosquitoes

well i'll tell you who there are people and i don't know how this happens but that mosquitoes don't like you're talking about like witches and warlocks i'm just saying i you know you always hear about those people that's like mosquitoes don't they don't bite me they don't mind me and that's me mosquitoes don't bite me what how they don't that's not you yes they are they don't bite me i i'm never bothered by them they don't they don't mr ice cream blood they don't bite you i got too dense a leg hair or something man they don't mess with me they can't land on me i wonder what my leg hair my arm you see my arms i got i got some shaggy arms i mean i don't know that's my only theory that's my only. Scientists have to have. I don't like my blood.

I don't have sweet blood. I think it's more about the blood. I really do. I think, like, and what's weird is that's inside the body. So I don't know. Can mosquitoes, like, smell blood from, you know, before they. No, because it's not that. I don't think it's that.

I don't know. That is their food source. I want to have the scientific answer because I know mosquitoes do not treat everyone the same. And they love me. They love the high fat content in your blood. They're keto. Mosquitoes are keto. I don't know if you know about this.

Mosquito. It was right there. I couldn't find it. I'm sorry. I'm not sure I did either. Here it comes, Badingi. I've got to Google this uh why do mosquitoes like me why do they not like some people like my daughter unfortunately they could like there could be one mosquito in our zip code and that mosquito would find her and uh like we have to run we literally

run a mosquito one of those mosquito light vacuums in her room 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Wow, really? Because she's super allergic to them. Also, tell me more about these mosquito lights that get rid of mosquitoes. Hold on, hold on. It's the best. Hold on. We'll talk after the show, Mike.

I've got an affiliate code for you. This is unbelievable because I go out there and it's- You get ravaged? It's just my ankles, though. They love my ankles. I got very attractive ankles to mosquitoes, apparently. That skin is prime. That's prime skin.

Their favorite thing is bite the exact same spot, but just over slightly. You try some of this. Guys, I've got some answers for us. Guys, you try some of these. Guys, I've got some answers for us. Dr. Sharon Berquist, an associate professor of medicine at Emory Healthcare, says mosquitoes are attracted to carbon dioxide. Heat and carbon dioxide emitted during the process of metabolism seems to draw mosquitoes. This is me, guys.

I am always running hot. It says, so if you're a heavy breather, watch out. Oh, no. I'm a mouth breather. I've legit, when I'm out in the mosquito country, I've always heard carbon dioxide pulls them in. This is terrible. I hate mosquitoes.

They're the worst. But they don't bother me, so I'm keeping my thunderstorms. They're awesome. mosquitoes but they don't bother me so i'm keeping my thunderstorms they're awesome i will also keep my thunderstorms because uh wait that means i get rid of mosquitoes right that means you loot the mosquitoes have interest in you you have to choose one of the two it's the benefit of having mosquitoes not interested in you or the benefit of now see i think i've been reading this question wrong i think you have too You've confused the heck out of me. I was right with you, Mike. I was right with you.

Okay. Okay. So you have to give up... If you don't want mosquitoes to mess with you, you give up seeing thunderstorms ever again. Okay. See, now, look. Okay, start the tape over. I was chiming in in Slack.

I was hoping you'd see it. But yeah, I had a feeling you were confused there. Well, it is a would you rather. Generally, these are two opposing things that you would have to choose between. Every now and then the owl puts in a stupid question. I think you'll agree with that. Would you rather never see a thunderstorm? Okay, okay.

So I can never see a thunderstorm again. Would you rather have ice cream or ice cream and candy? Well, here's the deal. Let's break that down. I am not going to see any thunderstorms anymore because mosquitoes attack the heck out of me i hate them i i can't stand when i've got mosquito bites on my ankles and and as we talked about the magnificence of the thunderstorms is heightened here because they don't hardly ever happen sure so i'm not you know there's a whole mosquito season i feel like half the year mosquitoes are are running crazy whereas i get like

three thunderstorms a year is what it feels like so i'm gonna i'm gonna get rid of those mosquitoes and and uh get rid of thunderstorms here's the thing take everything i said earlier and come i mean thunderstorms are just the worst aren They're the worst, guys. Getting you all wet all the time. You can't go swimming in fear of lightning. I mean, it's ridiculous. Get out of here. Look, if I could never be bit by a mosquito again, I'm not sure what lengths I would truly go to because they are the worst.

I just sent you a link to a little mosquito trap. I've already purchased it. Yeah, alright. Elliot from Patreon, would you rather get kicked in the ribs by an angry Anderson Silva? What? For those of you that don't know, MMA kick boxer. Jason, is he considered the best, one of the best

MMA fighters of all time? Absolutely, one of the best MMA fighters of all time. Just from a kicking perspective. Especially on the kicker rankings, yeah yeah he's known for his kicks yeah although he did once kick didn't he break his leg yes he kicked his leg right now he was that's you're thinking of the right man he kicked his leg in two but that's how hard he can kick but the other choice here okay it's gonna this is gonna be bad thing, just so you guys are aware. Or be shot in the foot. So you're telling me one of them is not really good?

You got to be kicked in the ribs by an ankle. So you're probably breaking your ribs. I mean, it's fair to say you're going to break a rib. Yes. Or be shot in the foot. So would you rather break your ribs, which breaking a rib is very painful. Like on the scale of injuries that you can, you know, not necessarily have to go to the hospital for, but deal with for a long period of time. You get a broken rib. You are having trouble breathing.

I don't know if you remember this, Andy, but we attempted to make a comeback as adult flag football players. Oh, yes. And we had taken some time off. We were much younger and more sprightly when we played. And we said, nah, we can do it. We can come back. And I, in fact, took a shoulder to the back lower, like my lower ribs right in the back and broke one of my ribs.

And it was terrible. it was exactly what you described you you can't breathe when you feel a sneeze coming up your wherever your throat wherever it comes from you god help us you yes you you grip down you bite down on whatever you have because you're in for an extreme amount of pain you can't breathe you cannot sleep i have never been shot yeah i imagine being shot is painful uh well let me ask you let me ask you this mike the foot either okay so you've broken a rib okay and let's take the kick and the gun away here and just say okay you you've got a broken rib or you've got a broken bone on your foot and they're in their equal uh difficulty which one do you think would bother you more in that situation?

So, I mean, I don't know if you could take the shot out because a bullet going through your foot. Well, that's my point. Is going to do more. And you can't walk. Yeah. I've broken a toe as well. Have you guys ever broken a toe? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I have not. Oh, well's it's not pleasant no no no not a pleasant thing but look i got a toe breaking story wait you had a good story yeah a toe break oh dude well you've brought it up breaking news where we tell stories so do tell it was the first broken bone i ever had and uh mine was too what age my my pointer finger on my right foot i was a kindergartner i had to but i broke my toe they said broke my toe but i had to wear a like a boot like after it broke i had to wear a full boot so it broke part of my foot foot as well

but the story with that break is that i was on the those i don't know how you broke your foot mike but i was on the second i was on the top bunk okay it's pretty embarrassing i was on the, I don't know how you broke your foot, Mike, but I was on the second, I was on the top bunk, okay? That's pretty embarrassing. I was on the top bunk of a bed. Wait, hold on. Is this the jump story? Yeah. I think we've,

like, go ahead. Go ahead. We got some new listeners. No, the whole story is just that my dad put his arms out and said, jump, and then I jumped, and he didn't catch me, and I went through his arms.

I mean, I went straight to the ground, and I broke my toe. Then they told me it wasn't broken. And then I crawled around the house for like a day. And then they said something might be wrong because you keep crawling. Oh, that's very funny. How'd you break yours? So it's actually very possible Al Borland was there because some friends from a different school had come to my house.

And we were shooting a video for their morning announcement does this make main uh anything to you al borland no i wasn't there okay so it was just a simple we were on the trampoline everyone's gonna jump off oh no and oh i was there i forgot all about that oh. Because you didn't break your toe. So it was just me jumping off the trampoline and misgaged the distance my foot needed to go over. And it went right in the bar. I finished the scene. I'm a champion.

I'm a professional. Yeah. I went through it. And then I looked at my toe and I was like oh that's that's a problem that's pointing over there yeah so didn't i break your thumb passing you the football too you did do that but that was that was that you can't claim credit for that yes i mean you passed him a football right into the ball like that and broke his thumb on a gentle pass. This was not, you know, some. This was like a 40-yard bomb.

It was a heater, Jay. This was a 10-yard bomb, man. He gave it everything he had. I gave it everything I have. All right, I don't want to be shot. I'll take the kick. Of course it's the shot. The point that I was about to make is.

It's the shot? No, that you're not going to take. Oh, okay. My point was this. I will need to go to a hospital with the foot. Is the foot that much better of a location than the rib? Is it so much better that you would be willing to take a shot over a kick? Because let's just say, let's change this question to,

would you rather be kicked in the foot or shot in the foot? Would you rather be kicked in the ribs or shot in the ribs? Would you rather be kicked in the hand or shot? You're never going to choose getting shot under any circumstance.'s one of your big life quotes don't be shot would you rather be kicked in the rib or like shot in the earlobe but that's just scary so i'm taking the kick a hundred out of a hundred times yeah i am too all right daryl from the website would you rather be invincible to injury but live a normal lifespan, dying from aging and disease? Oh, okay.

So invincible to injury, like being shot in the foot or kicked in the ribs? That's not bad. That's not bad. Or be immune to aging and disease and be able to live forever until a physical injury kills you? Okay, all right. Which is inevitable in time, right mean maybe not inevitable yeah and it's not inevitable and you're not aging so i mean i assume you get to a point like you're not a baby no but you would you like the jokes on you you own age, and you're an infant forever. If you drive on the freeway for 1,000 years, don't you die on the freeway?

Don't you eventually, mathematically? But if I'm 999 years old and yet still rocking my 30s, I'll take those 900 years of 30s. those 900 years of 30s. I mean, I feel like... So this is a question that says, this almost says, would you rather guarantee to get to your 80s or 90s? Right?

Because if you're invincible to injury, you're guaranteed to get there. Yeah, for the most... If you live worried about some physical death any minute. It says aging and disease. So no, you're not going to... Your body's not going to betray you. So so yes these are challenging today these are i'm taking look

i i we've talked about the living forever and how it sounds good up front because you get to like escape the worry the the fear of death what's death. I don't even have to think about it because I get to live forever. But I think everyone gets to a point where you're like, okay, look, I've lived a great life. I need to move on. Welcome to episode 952,651 of the Spitballers. I can live a great life and I can jump off a building as a parlor trick and hit the ground because that's how you'd use it.

You check this out. Jason, you're telling me you're invincible. You're not jumping off a building or two. Oh, I'm definitely jumping off a building or two. I mean, without a doubt. But check this out. I just don't think that's the pinnacle. That's not what I would lead with.

You know, like, oh, man, that's the first thing i thought i'd be like hey shoot me in the foot shoot me in the foot see what happens um i'm taking the uh the normal lifespan i yeah that'll be that'll be just about enough and be invincible to injury that's fantastic i'm going to i'm going to take the no aging i mean i i want to, I'm going to have a super long lifespan. This is buying a convertible. And I will. Oh, no, I'm not buying a convertible. Oh, that's right.

You can't be. I'm not buying anything that unsafe. You're buying a bubble suit. He's buying bulbos. He's driving down the street in whatever the, you know, the Hummer of the future is. The Cybertruck. You'll be in the Cybertruck with a helmet. You'll have a helmet on in the Cybertruck.

That's right. You'll be in full leathers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, goodness. Let's do some questions. Today's episode is brought to you by Truebill. Ladies and gentlemen, there are plenty of excellent subscriptions out there,

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Truebill.com slash ballers. It could save you thousands a year. Truebill.com slash ballers. It could save you thousands a year. Truebill.com slash ballers. That's a great question. Haley from Instagram says, in what movie did you like the bad guy more than the good guy? Ooh. Okay. That. Okay.

That's tough. I mean, I still think that the defining characteristic of every good superhero movie that's ever been made has been some level of sympathy for the villain and some level of connection to the villain. They're not just evil. They're misunderstood, right? Right.

And sometimes superheroes are just boring. Yeah. So when I think of those villains, I think of Jack Nicholson in the first Batman. Oh, that's a good one. I think of Michael Keaton in the Spider-Man. Michael Keaton. Spider-Man Home.

We almost synced on Michael Keaton. On Michael Keaton. Incredible. That's incredible. I love Michael Keaton. On Michael Keaton. That's incredible. I love Michael Keaton. We'll keep this going forever. Now, does this count? Let me ask you this.

Does it count for movies like Silence of the Lambs, where I feel like Hannibal Lecter was the main character? But you didn't like him. That's what I'm getting back to this. Do you like him? It's Buffalo Bill or Bob. He's still a bad guy. He's not the or Bob. But Buffalo... Yeah, that's true. He's still a bad guy.

He's not the bad guy. But you don't say he's like a good guy in the movie. He comes in and chains with the straitjacket on for a reason. Is Loki a bad guy? Yes. Definitely. Usually. So that would be one that you could like sometimes.

But do you like him more than the main characters? That's what the question is. Thor's pretty cool. I'm not going to like him more than the main characters? That's what the question is. Thor's pretty cool. I'm not going to like Loki more than Thor. Loki's great. But where is the movie where you're like, man, I'm kind of rooting for the bad guy here. Is the Terminator, is he a bad guy?

Which movie? Because he was in the first one, yes. Yeah, Terminator 1. Because that would be one you could like him more. Yes. No, look, that was the first time you saw a Terminator. You're like, I hope this thing wins. This is the future.

He's pretty cool. How do I get a Skynet account? My final answer is the Tyrannosaurus Rex from Jurassic Park. Oh, that's actually a great answer. Is he really the bad guy? He's just an animal living his life. What about Biff? He's the villain. He's the villain.

He's the villain of the movie for sure. Oh, Biff's the worst. Biff in Back to the Future? I mean, you got like Darth Vader. What about Darth Vader, right? He's the clear bad guy, but he's the coolest guy in the movie. Luke Skywalker's kind of the worst. What about Josh Groban?

Josh Groban in that most recent one. What, you raised me up? The music What about Josh Groban? Josh Groban in that most recent one. What, you raised me up? The music video? Josh Groban? Didn't Josh Groban play the bad guy in the most recent Star Wars? Did you? What? Are you talking about Kylo Ren?

Oh my gosh. Wait, then I always call him Josh Groban. Because of the Kylo voice? Because of the hair, bro. He looks just like Josh. Because of the hair? Yes, and the baby face. So Adam Driver is the actual actor.

Yes. I got to look up Josh Groban. Adam Driver is the man. I love Adam Driver. He is. Adam Driver is great. If I search Josh Groban, Kylo Ren, there's no way there's not going to be some images that show up.

Josh Groban? I've already got you. I've got you right here. I've already got somebody who's put Josh Groban. There's Josh Groban in the Kylo Ren uniform. Because anything that can happen is on the internet right now. They both have big noses too. All right.

So is there any other villains worth talking about? Yes, there are. The two that come to mind, my final answer is going to be Darth Vader because he's better than Luke Skywalker. He's awesome. And he's probably your favorite character, even though he's the clear bad guy. But I've got to give a shout out. Anytime you talk about villains, I've got to give a shout out to Philip Seymour Hoffman

from Mission Impossible 3. He was so good in that movie where I was just like... I was going to say, that transitioned into you liking an actor's performance as a villain. Yes, but for any reason, the question here does not stipulate that it's because the script is so great. This act, I mean, Philip Seymour Hoffman was so good, I was scared. I was in the movie theater like, I think he's going to hurt me. I haven't seen that since the theater. Yeah, you should look it up it's a good time and i'll take the other joker i'll

take heath ledger because he ledger's joker he made that christian bale is the best batman but i mean the fact of the matter is that batman is just he's he was a extra superhero you lost me you lost me at best batman there but i i hear you no stop it um okay let's go to greg's question here what product or service has gotten simultaneously worse and more expensive well every cable television that That's 100% my answer. Cable television just keeps getting worse and more expensive year after year after year. They have fewer channels or more forced packages. Oh, they have more channels. Well, sure. More forced packages where you've got to, you know, if you want the one good channel,

you got to add like 7,000 on and pay for all of them. But I find that the real reason it's worse is because I don't use it. I have it. Don't get me wrong. I pay for it. But I don't remember the last time I used literally my cable subscription to turn it on. I stream everything. And now sometimes I am allowed to stream a service because I connect it to my cable account. It's got value. That's why it's there. But it's certainly gotten worse and more expensive at the same time.

You've got to get that Disney Now action. It's the only service that I can sign up for $99 and pay $332 a month on the red. That's what cable. I would say Postmates is entering that category. Oh, my goodness. You are not more expensive worse worse not a sponsor not yet you could improve your service and we'll accept you and or pay us a lot of money do you want to know how to improve your service sponsor the spitballers podcast and your service will be much better that That's a strong point. But no, I don't want to pay 2x for the wrong food.

That is their policy. I think they just got acquired by Uber Eats for like $900 bazillion because they make a good profit margin. Yeah. When a $5 burger all of a sudden is $25, you're doing all right. And yet we pay it.

Well, yeah, I'm'm not gonna go pick up the burger i mean the global we yeah ridiculous my wife and i actually have had that debate of and maybe you guys can settle this for me uh we're trying to figure out like a lot of people during quarantine time during the covid time it's let's not get out of the house let's not expose ourselves let's not go into a building so there's been a lot of the mail order groceries and mail order food like Postmates, Uber Eats, Grubhub. But we're trying to figure out like a lot of places also offer the pickup. Like you go, you park your car, you dial the number, they come out and they put it in your car, they hand it to you through the window. Which one do you think is more safe?

Because if you go someplace, at first you think, oh oh it's better to have them bring it to me but they're only handing it to you like to one through the window one person that postman's driver's probably driving around all these different houses they got different bags of food in their car you're adding another variable in so i think it's better to go there yourself to go yourself that would be i mean i'm that's my wife's contention so i'm willing to lose this argument all right i have two more answers for this question oh i want to hear that have gotten worse uh over time so and have gotten more expensive now i don't know how much worse say universities have gotten but the price i mean have they gotten as good as much as much

better as like i look at putting my kid in college. I'm like, this is going to cost. I got to get rid of at least two of my kids if I want to do that. But here's the one. I was trying to make. You said university? Yeah, a university. Yeah. College.

I know. I just have never heard an American say, well, I'm going to go to university. I'm going to go to college. I'm going to go to college. You've been watching some British TV lately, Jason? Apparently. Yeah. Well, I'm hip with the lingo. I know what other people call it.

We're fancy. So, yeah. University. I want to send my children to the university. I think that's great, but it's gotten so expensive. That's a great answer. That is because it's less needed and more expensive. I have a much better answer than that.

Because this makes cable companies look like your best friend. As a business owner for the better part of the last decade, health insurance is the... So here's what happens. If you're uninitiated as you don't run a business, let me tell you what happens. You sign up with a health insurance company and they give you whatever the best deal you can find is on the best insurance. And then it comes for renewal time. And what happens is they come and say, well, we're going to take this, this, this, this,

and this away from you. Your co-pays are going to go up to this and this. And here's the best part. Would you like to accept? Would you? No, no, and this away from you. Your co-pays are going to go up to this and this. And here's the best part. Would you like to accept? Would you? No, no, no. I would accept, but I don't accept yet because they say also the cost for it is now 35% more. Every year, your insurance literally gets worse and the cost gets extraordinarily more.

So a little, little bitter there. But yeah, I mean, talk about great answer. We're learning so much on today's episode. All right. Claire from Patreon wants us to illuminate because Jason, you're brilliant. You've managed to distinguish between a pond and a lake. I would love, she says, I would love for you guys to establish the difference between a pipe and a tunnel a pipe wait that's easy that's very easy and a tunnel can i can i fit boom yeah boom flavor call uh listen it's gonna fit you don't travel through a pipe you just don't

do it you you know what i mean like well no no, to be fair, like... Mario travels through a pipe. I might go into a pipe and learn that it's a tunnel. Like, it's in the range of outcomes. Or I could go into a tunnel and find out it's actually a pipe. I don't... I might not know. It's do I fit. It's do I fit.

That's right. And this is not a one-size-fits-all. It's me. I am the do I fit. I don't know how to fix it. 100%. 100%. They got bridges. They have like the big pipe circles in them. And you can go into those. Those are not tunnels or are they pipes?

No, they're tunnels. Do you fit? Yeah, I fit. Okay, there's a tunnel. You fit. It's a tunnel. We've explained this. Yeah.

I mean, this is a very easy question. And look, there are fewer tunnels in the world for me than there are for youtube um that's just that's true the reality of you know you got to be able to fit in order for it to be a tunnel so i have not as many tunnels i can experience we've had with jason and i have argued over i'm like that's that's a tunnel and he shouts no that's a pipe and i show him i put my i put my feet in i get my hips down and then the belly can't go i'm like mike what is this and he shouts no that's a pipe and i show him i put my i put my feet in i get my hips down and then the belly can't go i'm like mike what is this and he goes that's a pipe so just to be clear can you greet can you grease yourself from a from a pipe to a tunnel i would never do that if i have

to grease i'm petrified to go into that uh to try to make it a tunnel for me it's it's all comes down to the type of grease, honestly. So you're fine with oil, but not Crisco? Bacon grease? Oh, no. No, bacon doesn't work. And oil. Some KVOL. Vaseline.

Synthetic. Mostly synthetic. Yeah. If it's a natural base, then I'm not into synthetic. There are situations in which you're willing to convert a pipe to a tunnel if the lubrication is what you want. Also, am I being chased? That's a good point.

You might need to make this a tunnel. You might say, oh man, there's a pipe, but I need this to be a tunnel now. I hope that's a tunnel. I hope that's a tunnel. I hope that's not a pipe. I hope that's not a pipe. Look, there are a lot of prisoners

who have changed pipes into tunnels. Yes, they have because you know necessity is the mother of all invention and you got to get out i don't want to crawl in that pipe because i know what's inside of it but so then when the when they escaped but now the newspaper the next day says that they escaped through a tunnel that's 100 right okay otherwise because if they're like printing factual information. Right. So if you get stuck in a tunnel, you got stuck in a pipe? That's correct.

That's correct. If you got stuck, no one's ever been stuck in a tunnel. They've only been stuck in a pipe. Nobody's ever been stuck in a tunnel. That's 100%. It's impossible by the definition. Yeah, because you actually got stuck in a pipe, and you're the fool at that point. I mean, I guess you could get stuck in a tunnel

if you're going through this tunnel and you break your leg, right? And you're like, oh, no. Yeah, that doesn't count. Maybe there's a loophole there. Well, the only loophole I could think of is like a cave-in. Oh, yeah.

It's a tunnel that you had your car in, but then the earth decided it's no longer a tunnel. Well, then it's nothing. It's not a pipe or a tunnel. That's true. Yeah, it's a tomb. Yeah. It's a tomb.

All right. We have answered the heck out of that question. That is a tomb. A pipe or a tunnel becomes a tomb on the caveman. That is... Oh, my gosh. That is... I feel so much smarter.

Yeah. We're here for the spit wads. Oh, my gosh. Okay. One more. David from the website. What life-changing item can you buy for less than $100? Life-changing item that you can buy for less than $100.

Andy, what's the price check on that mosquito? Bad news for you, Mike. It's $150. $150. No! All right. That one's out. It's $150. No! All right, that one's out. Life-changing purchase.

Coffee. Okay. You know, if you want to barely change your life, go to sleep earlier for free. Man, I want to really think of something. How much are guns? I think they're more than that. I think they're more than that. I hope they're more than that.

I don't know. I have no idea. This is $12. We got to buy one, get one. If you get a gun for less than $100, don't shoot it. Okay. Thank you, Al. Thank you, Al.

That's a good tip. That's a good tip. A life change. But let's say a life improving. Okay. Yeah. Something that improves your life drastically. I mean, for some people- How much is a divorce? much is it how much is a divorce that's gonna cost you more

than a hundred dollars it is expensive um no i uh i mean look if you if you don't live the shaman ultra soft life uh that's life that's life-changing. Coffee's not good enough, but toilet paper. How do you go from the TP, Jason? It's a bidet. A good bidet is not under $100, Mike. But you can get one. You can get something that changes the life for under $100 before you go to the Jason Moore Cadillac of the bidet.

If the water's not warm and the seat's not warm, is it really a bidet, Mike? I've got a real answer. How about glasses? Okay. Can you get glasses for under $100? You can get eyeglasses under $100.

I can't. Show me where. As the one that wears eyeglasses here, I would love to know where to go to get those. Look, Jason, I'm telling you, you got those for under $100. Well, you have Prada glasses. You have Prada glasses? Yes.

I was making a joke. Oh, were you really? No. Those are Prada? Yeah, it says Prada. So if I added a zero to this question, are you still able to get them? Yes. Not my Prada able to get them? Yes. Not my products.

No. Yes. Yes. They're in that range. So yes. Don't lose those in a pipe or a tunnel. Actually, this is ironic that we're talking about this. I got, this was not, this was a little over 100.

But just today, I got an email. I was allowed in the Amazon Echo Glasses program. What is that? So they are coming. I just ordered it. I think it's going to be Glasses program. What is that? So they are coming. I just ordered it. I think it's going to be here this week. Yeah, not a sponsor. Is it like tech glasses?

They're eyeglasses that have the Amazon Alexa built in. So I can ask a question wherever I go. I can play music where I go. What? I mean, I don't know if they're any good. I haven't got them yet Hold on Were they under $100?

They were $179 Okay Oh okay Interesting I'm going to have to look into that You don't even wear glasses You're going to look into those I'm going to start wearing glasses

Maybe they have sunglasses I don't know Okay I think we've covered a few Al do you have anything that jumps out? I got nothing off the top of my head. Okay. All right.

You guys want to draft? Yes. Okay. Spitwads, if you're hiring for your business on your own, it's like trying to beat Al at Liar Liar. It's hard. It's really hard. You just need to breathe.

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slash Ballers. Indeed.com slash Ballers. Terms and conditions apply. Pay per qualified applicant not available for all users. Need to hire? You need Indeed. The Spitballers Draft. All right, we are drafting the best childhood toys another way to put that maybe our favorite nostalgic toys from our childhood um i i wonder i wonder who will connect with what on this one it'll be interesting because you do have people like jason jason's not going to have nostalgia about toys he didn't play with that's unless he was pandering for votes. All right, let's talk about this. I've been known to do that from time to time.

But when I hear nostalgic toys, my mind does immediately, like I told you guys, I was able to blurt out a list of 20 things really quick, just barfing it out of my mind, top of mind. Now, I didn't have those, because I didn't have toys but i know what like the really popular nostalgic toys where when i think of this here we go no no when

i think of it i still get nostalgia for that time okay so i mean trust me these qualify i'm ready to play today i'm very fascinated by the way if you want to see Jason's full disclaimer, it is available in PDF form in the show description. Thank you. All right. I had a number one pick. We talked a little bit about what qualifies. I think we kind of agreed to take a wider look at what childhood toys are, not just what's necessarily something you play with with your hands or something or something that's under the tree. It's anything in that childhood vicinity. So I have to go with a bike. I have to take the number one pick of a bike. As a kid, the bike is freedom. Yeah, that's very fair. The bike is how you get to your friends' houses. In fact, I used to cry if my parents ever went

into model homes that were outside of biking distance from my friends because i had to be within a biking range of all my friends you would do biking jumps you'd go to cul-de-sacs and do jumps we'd play uh what was we'd play bike tag as a kid where you'd you'd go over the whole neighborhood trying to sounds dangerous it was not it probably not safe but it was freedom and you just you were out on your bike you you know you know it's the number one pick for when you said when you said bike i i'm i assume we all had a bike growing up and when you said that i was like okay i don't care um but then when you talked about the freedom i you're you're actually bringing memories to mind of like it really did widen my world

because at first it's the only way to do it as a kid. You can't drive. Yeah, I can't drive. So it's like my world was my front yard and the neighbors across the street. And like, that was it. And then when I got a bike, my whole world became the block. I knew what was on the other side, the house behind my house. I knew what it looked like.

They were on a cul-de-sac. I didn't even know that. Jason, you said that you had a basketball growing up. That was your favorite toy, right? Yes, 100%. So when you had that basketball, I'm guessing, how'd you get to the park? How'd I get to the park? The park was my front yard, my friend.

I never went to the park to play basketball. He was trying to get some more bike points. I was trying to get more bike points. You didn't play full court. Gotcha. Yeah, gotcha. You didn't play full court. That's true yeah gotcha you didn't play full court that's true i did not which is why i was so for me a bike supersedes it all because it also uh toys wise sometimes there's windows really tight windows for certain toys a bike is like from the time you can ride a bike until the time you can drive and

beyond so i'm gonna go with bike never ride you never ride one again. Right. But you do buy them. But you also... You definitely buy them again. You just don't ride them again. From what I understand, you never forget how to ride it. You never forget. That's what they say.

That's a whole phrase. Well, interesting. So I'm going to go that way, even though it's not quite as like personal as one specific toy brand or something. No, no, but I mean, it's a great choice. It leaves me my number one choice,

and we'll just... We said no video games. Just want everyone to understand that. Otherwise, I would be drafting a Nintendo Entertainment System, the greatest toy of all time. Oh, really? You would take the Nintendo Entertainment System

over the Super Nintendo? When it comes to nostalgia, yes. That, like... The Super Nintendo is the best system, but the one that fires off little kid inside of Mike is the NES. You're a year older than me, and I think that that makes a big difference on NES versus Super NES.

I'm a year older than Mike, and I am on Super Nintendo. You were playing basketball. Regardless, I just wanted people to understand what was happening. So I guess Andy takes the bike, and I will take the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Sure. Because I will get the turtle van.

I will get all the action figures. The turtle van was the goat, man. I saved up all my money for that thing. The turtle van was the Barbie house for boys who were into action figures. That was the ultimate set, the ultimate accessory for your Ninja Turtles to ride in and shoot out the pizzas or the man covers, whatever it was. Dude, I cannot challenge your pick in any way because when I think back of things I saved up for and went to the store you know toys r us excited to get it was at the top of the list yeah it was getting that thing and bringing it home and going look what i have i have this when you got to that friend we all know the friend who had it first oh yeah went over and you went yeah what yeah his parents were doctors yeah

i remember that kid i remember that kid yep So I'll take the Ninja Turtles. It's a good pick. Ninja Turtles are on my short list. Yeah, and we've got the fantasy footballers. We've got the Foot Clan. And there's tie-ins throughout our adult life now to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I don't know what you're talking about, but go ahead. Yeah, that's weird.

Unrelated. So here's the deal. I would have taken the Super Nintendo. I totally understand. We shouldn't be allowed. I would have taken the Super Nintendo. I totally understand. We shouldn't be allowed. But I still want something super. And we're in Arizona. And I'm taking the Super Soakers, my friend.

Oh, it's on my list. It's on my list. The Super Soakers are... The OG. They took what was... 15 minutes of pumping. They took water guns to the next level. Yes, because water guns before super soakers were dumb.

They were just pew, pew, pew. I give a little stream of water on you. I spritzed you. Oh, no, it broke. The super soaker? I mean, I had a backpack with one of those things full of water. I could run around and drench you, drench my parents. It's just a good time. It's a good workout. I don't know if this will

make sense, but I'm just... Okay, the super soaker to you, because they still make things today, but the original super soaker, what are the colors of the original super soaker to you? To me? I don't know if there's a right or wrong answer.

I don't remember, but I think it was like orange and purple is what comes to my mind i'd go blue blue yellow for me interesting to me it's the body is yellow and the canister is green well we have we have all different memories they had all they had different color i don't know if there's a right or wrong answer i was just checking okay so super soakers that's that's a good pick super soakers are good um i'm i'm gonna go a little bit like andy here something that opens it up this was you guys ever get the present that you or did you ever have the present you never got the one that you wanted yeah every single year it was your dream present yep and every year you thought i'm old enough now i'm gonna get it i'm

old enough now i'm gonna get it i'm old enough now. I'm going to get it. I'm old enough now. I'm going to get it. Never, ever, ever got it. Oh, no. It's the one that got away? I had friends who had it. And then by the time that it was like- Six pack of Budweiser. By the time it was like- And this is why your son got the Disneyland Lego castle.

Yes. I think I could get it. Now I was like, well, I'm too big for it now. Oh, no. It's pow, pow, power wheels, my friend. Oh, dude. Power wheels would have been my next pick. The power wheels.

Yeah, I know the answer, but did you have one, Mike? I know the answer. No. You did it? No. When Jason said, is there a gift that got away, it was power wheels. That's what the friends had, dude. When you were talking about.

The friend that had one. Oh. I never had a power wheels. You know who's got one? My youngest son. Darn right he's got one. Yeah. When you were saying, oh, you had the rich friend or whatever.

Oh, this parent's a doctor. Yes. Oh, yeah. The doctor. That was the Power Wheels. 100% Power Wheels. That was the flex. That was the mansion for kids.

When you had a Power Wheels, like, okay, he's the coolest. He's got everything in the world. There was nothing higher pinnacle than a Power Wheel, it was like, okay, he's the coolest. He's got everything in the world. There was nothing higher pinnacle than a Power Wheel because I knew plenty of kids with a lot of really nice things. Oh, he's got the nicest video game system, but so does X, Y, and Z. There were very few who had the Power Wheel and they wielded the power. I never had. It was like the kids that had that and then they had the headquarters for Ghostbusters.

Those two kids, they were the high rollers. They were the high rollers in the world. All right, that's a good pick. Power Wheels, absolutely. It's on my short list. It was not my second pick. I'm really worried about your pick right now, Mike. My second pick did make it back, and this is a pick that is not, well, I don't know, Andy.

I have no clue if it's going to take me. I know. I don't either. This pick is nostalgic for me. This pick is forever. It's rebirth. They're making crazy movies now. I'm taking Legos, baby.

I am taking the ultimate brick building system. I'm so upset. Oh, is that the one? Did I get it? Excellent. Even better. The hours put into Legos are almost unmatched. And I was able to drop on my kids. I still had a giant bin of random Legos.

Buying random Legos is now very, very difficult. You can't do it. Everything is a set. You have to. It's a set now. I'm just like, give me some freaking bricks, man. Don't you know what to do? Sometimes when I can't afford it, Everything is a set. You have to. It's a set now. I'm just like, give me some freaking bricks, man. Don't tell me what to do. Sometimes when I can't afford it, I just buy gold instead.

Right. Was that a different brand? No, I said gold, Mike. He just buys gold. I thought you said gold in. I just buy gold. Yeah, instead of Legos? Yeah, because it's cheaper.

They both contain a lot of value. Years ago, before my kids were really old enough to build the sets, but I them to have legos and not the like giant brick ones the duplos yeah i looked everywhere i just wanted a bucket of legos i figured they're they got to be easy impossible to find you don't find them anymore see here's the thing so i was talking to my wife before we recorded you know i was like what what toys she brought up legos but i felt like that wasn't nostalgic to me because they're so common now like i have legos all over this house you know what i mean so it's like they don't give me the feel like like a basketball right maybe you guys could draft that but that was my favorite toy growing up but that one to me i still got you know i still got a

basketball you know so it's like yeah i feel like it doesn't play as legos and i sit down and i build i build houses and cars. Does it give you the feels because of what you did as a kid? Maybe. It might be. You don't know your feelings. Okay. Yeah, no.

Look, come on, man. Try not to feel. Conceal, don't feel. Bottle it up. Push it down deep inside and bottle it up. Good advice. This is the great fear. Oh, go ahead, Mike.

I was saying, then when you watch a sad movie, then you let it all out. That's release time. Yeah. That's the only time, though. I feel like releasing right now. Rage. Ninja Turtles, Legos were two of my top three picks. I'm glad I took

bike because this is when being number one is terrible because I knew that mike would bring his a game because mike and i both play with toys yeah i love toys and those are my top and now i'm tilting i'll go with oh without question i know that transformers is one of my picks all right it's fair the transformers toys were uh you know in a world without iPads and things like that. That was like a technologically cool toy to me where you had. I'm glad you took it.

I love Transformers. It would be disingenuous for me to take it. I didn't have Transformers. I know the power of Transformers, and I know that people love them. I just never had them. What if I told you I have no idea what I should be picking next? Then we will be happy and we will gladly

grow strong from your tears. I'm going to go with sports cards. I'm going to go with sports cards as my next one because I had a huge collection growing up. That was one of the most fun times I had. Childhood, like gifts under the tree was getting cards, going to card shops. I don't mind it. Stuff like

that. So that's my Legos isn't their pick that's your tilt pick my tilt pick is uh trading cards i like them um all right you know i have i gotta give a little bit of love to your ninja turtles action figures because we've already established because they were great i didn't play with toys i only had a few toys like action figures that I can remember. I know for sure I never had Transformers, but I remember I had the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle van with the characters. Oh, it was great. Did you have the turtle where the shell opened up and you put his weapons in the back?

No, I think I've gotten that for my son. Nice. All right. Favorite Ninja Turtle toy? I know you mentioned the van, but if you're picking a Ninja Turtle, which one did you play with the most? Raphael. I liked the guys the most.

Oh, yeah. You were the Raph. That's right. I was Michelangelo. I was Donatello. Ooh. Nerd. We just need a leader.

Owl Borland. Who were you? Leonardo. Oh, there we go. We got the a leader. Al Borland. Who are you? Leonardo. Oh, there we go. We got the whole team. Fantastic. Now we can be Halloween together. Oh, my gosh.

I've done that before. All right. Mike, you're back on the clock. You already have two great picks. Yeah, I have two picks left, and I have three that I really want. I'm going to go with the heart because it was the one that I actually really, really played with a bunch. I'm going to take Hot Wheels.

I will take the cars. I had the tracks. And not only did I have the tracks, but all of my Hot Wheels, I mean, I eventually got some of my own, but my Hot Wheels collection came from my father. So I had all of his tracks, his old school. You get these bright orange tracks, and you put the tongues in, and you make loops, and you make jumps and ramps.

And there's ways to set it up to race. And I have passed those down to my kids now. And I just loved Hot Wheels. I had a Batmobile. I had this, like, Haley had this comet car. They weren't cheap. They're made of metal. They were metal. It's cool. They were prized

possessions. Yet another great pick from my favorite drafter of the day, Mike Wright. Thank you, sir. I can think of two or three Hot Wheels in my head instantly that were my favorite. Alright, I'm having troubles over here my favorite. Yes. All right. I'm having troubles over here, guys.

I'm having real troubles. I'm not surprised. I have a huge list. But I feel like because of my first two, I know how desperately I wanted a Power Wheel, and I never got it. And I did play with Super Soakers. I had them. I loved them.

That was a great time. How do you not take a basketball? Because it's not nostalgic to me. Because he's trying to win the polls. No, no, not nostalgic to me. Because he's trying to win the polls. No, no, no. Trust me. If I was trying to win the... I've got a list here of all these things, but I'm like, I didn't play with any... They were the famous this year's Christmas toy

or whatever. You're going to tickle me Elmo action? Exactly. That's one on my list, but I'm like, I don't care about that. We were too old. We didn't want that. We were too old. Exactly. We wanted to sell it on eBay. It certainly wasn't the best. Alright, i'm yeah i'll tell you okay it's similar to hot wheels um i don't think i had hot wheels these were these were like hot wheels meets trading cards to me i don't remember this on my list i don't remember playing with them but if it didn't say it it wasn't

the real thing and i'm talking about micro machines it's on my list thank don't remember playing with them but if it didn't say it it wasn't the real thing and i'm talking about micro machines it's on my list thank you if you know if it doesn't say micro machines not the real thing i've got a hook line and sinker i don't remember actually playing with them but i know i had them because i was like that commercial says i have to have the actual micro machines were awesome now did this company come out with that advertising from the get-go or did they start getting popularity and then they're like oh guys everyone's making these tiny cars let's come up with the remember if it doesn't save microsoft scenes it's not the real thing that's a great question but i know they

came out with that because the cost on making these things if you're an imitator was approximately one half of one penny this is the best marketing plan in the world. I can say I never played with them, so I don't really have that connection, but I remember the commercials every other commercial. Brand named only. Yeah, exactly. And now for my final pick.

I'm up again. No one else can make this small plastic car. Impossible. Only us, Micro Machines. They're like, that's a pretty good business. You know they sell those for the same price as Hot Wheels, right? That's a good business model.

Man. The boats. So I'm going between a basketball, which was absolutely my favorite toy growing up because it was the only thing I played with. But it's not really nostalgic to me anymore. Or one that is nostalgic, and I'll just say it because I know neither one of you are taking it. Well, I can help you, by the way. If you don't pick something with two words, you got super soakers, power wheels, micro machines.

This next one has two words, man. Oh, does it? It does. Look, I'm going to lose in the polls because I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it because it's truly... Mike was winning this poll anyway. Yeah, Mike's going to win. That's fine. Glad I had the first pick. But this had a short window of being relevant.

I don't even know if you guys ever played with one because it was – Oh, I love obscure toys. I think it was targeted more for girls. I mean, it was gender neutral, but I had one because of my sister. I had a two-year-old sister, and we loved playing with a Lightbrite. I don't know if you remember these things. Oh, Lightbrite's on my list, my man. Lightbrite is legit.

But we'd stay up late at night, and you'd change the colors, and you'd make your patterns. It was the most art that I ever did was playing with a Lightbrite. I loved that thing. You know what's so funny about that is, and that's a good pick for sure. I mean, it was one of the very few cool techie things. There couldn't be something like more more boring and more theme song i think like it was amazing when you think about what kids

do now like try to sell them a light bright see how long that lasts wait what do i do oh i just i just turned on the light push this peg in this boring go play with my ipad but that's why i had a short window as well all right all right so jason's final team as mike thinks about his fourth pick super soakers power wheels micro machines and a light break the problem is you guys have put me in a really bad position because i know look i like to win i was gonna say you need to go with something that gives me a chance because i could just i could shut it down and this would be a jason moore pick but it like but it would actually work this isn't no fortnight that's a good one it's a good pick look uh we gotta do it. I got to take G.I. Joe.

Yeah, that's done. Did I play with G.I. Joe? No, I did not, but it doesn't matter because it's here with my fourth pick. I didn't have to spend any draft equity on G.I. Joe. It just fell to me. I just want you to understand that you took three of my top four picks somehow. Somehow. You had the opportunity, but he still got three of your top four well he had yeah he did that's amazing he took three of the top four because i tilt pick sports cars

thinking gi joe would you guys i expected there's no way it was letting it through oh give me a break gi joe has the grandpa argument all over it i'm expecting you to call me grandpa with G.I. Joe's. No, no, no. G.I. Joe is an 80s 90s kid. Honestly, the one action figure set that I actually played with by far the most, which still wasn't much, but it was my home run number one, is still on the board.

It wasn't the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or G.I. Joe's or Transformers. That's interesting. I was a big fan of... I did really like Snake Eyes, so at least I know G.I. Joe's or Transformers. That's interesting. I was a big fan. I did really like Snake Eyes, so at least I know G.I. Joe just wasn't like... You quickly went to winning the poll right there. You were so close to being like authentic. I didn't have a choice,

man. G.I. Joe. People would take G.I. Joe with the first pick. At some point, you got to take value. Now, I have no picks left. No happiness in this world i can give you the rest no i mean i've got a big list here i have other pics in a list they are all pics that make me unhappy let me just wait aren't these let me be clear about it you know what you happy you

know what it sounds like he needs then my buddy buddy. No, I'm not taking my buddy. My buddy and me. No, did I have a fake friend adult? No, I didn't have that. I mean, it's the weirdest thing of all time, but the commercial sold it. My buddy. He didn't have my buddy. He didn't have any little guys.

Yeah. Everything falls flat now. I'm looking. I guess I can just say him out loud. I could go Etch-A-Sketch. I could go etch a sketch i could go lincoln logs i could i mean it's legit i didn't think about that one it's pretty good oh yeah i like that one i could go crayons man i could go freaking crayons because it's just not as nostalgic but you i played with crayons look you took sports cards why don't you just finish it up with the other collectible? Ooh.

Did you actually play with them? I think he did. Yes, we've talked about this. You're talking about Pokemon cards? No. No. What are you talking about? It starts with the same letter.

Yeah. It starts with a P, man. I'm talking about Pogs. Oh, Pogs was more niche than you guys think it was. It wasn't niche to my wallet or my allowance. It took it all. No, I'll just go with something else athletic since they were very popular, and I played with them a lot, and it fits better than Crayons.

And it's Rollerblades, man. I played with Rollerblades. They were like under the tree pick. Roller hockey, going around the neighborhood. So I'll go with Rollerblades. All right, were like under the tree pick. Roller hockey. I remember getting my first pair of rollerblades. Going around the neighborhood. Sawgo with rollerblades. All right. What have we got on our list that didn't get picked?

Amy has sadness. If there's three Christmas trees with four gifts under each one, I'm running into Mike's room. I mean- It's going to be a party. That's for sure. And then you've got Hot Wheels in the third. That's a steal.

Yeah. I like it. Legos in the second. That's a steal. And then you've got Hot Wheels in the third. That's a steal. Yeah, I like it. Lego's in the second. That's a steal. What do you got? This episode has caused a friction in the friendship, I believe, between Andy and Mike. No, I just want to play with Mike. I want to go to his house and play with toys.

He'll let you over and play. He's the cool guy. Absolutely. All right, here's what I got on my list. All are welcome. I got Twister. I love playing that. Skip It.

You remember Skip It? You had a Skip It? Oh, yeah. Skip Its were awesome. No, I didn't have one. They didn't work well. I know that people would annihilate their shins when they would do the Skip It. Oh, you could really hurt yourself in an effort to get the toy to work.

Crossfire. I really wanted that one. See, you had some board games on there. I did. I had Hungry Hungry Hippos. I didn't realize I had three board games on here. Tickle Me Elmo, Teddy Ruckskin, Tonka Trucks, and of course, my buddy, my buddy and me. I mean, obviously, if you're listening to this show, you are listening to three mid-30s

men draft their favorite toys as a kid. Because, I mean, obviously there's like Barbie and the Cabbage Patch dolls. I missed the last one, Jay. Did you say Teddy Ruxpin? He did. Okay. Yeah, Teddy Ruxpin would have been my pick.

Things can go pretty sideways with a Teddy Ruxpin. Oh, yeah. The best thing about Teddy Ruxpin is you put in tapes that are not supposed to be in there. That's what I'm saying. They look creepy.

Weird stuff was happening. Weird stuff happens. The eyes fall out. The mechanics break down. That's what I'm saying. They look creepy. Weird stuff was happening. Weird stuff happens. The eyes fall out. The mechanics break down. Yes. Silly Putty. Oh, Silly Putty was great. Kids play with slime now, right?

They don't play with Silly Putty. They just play with slime. Not only do they play with slime, they have to make slime. And they just want to make slime and then store it and then make more slime so that they can store that.

That's what my daughter does as her full-time job right now. She is a slime manufacturer. Does she sell it? I think she's gone from maker to manufacturer. Permits are coming in. Yeah, and we've got now a wing of the house dedicated to slime. I thought you were going to say you have a subscription for new carpet every month. Oh, man.

It is not allowed upstairs. it has been brought upstairs we have a carpeted upstairs and it does not come out of any cloth material uh sure it does liars you children you're all liars you all think it comes out of stuff it does not slime is the worst i hate it we had it banned in our house like as a rule just because we should have. But now there's so much time at home where it's a good craft for her to do. But this just in, glue is expensive when you buy it in the levels needed to be a slime manufacturing company. Impressive. What did we learn today? Mike, I'm sorry sorry you had some others to add on just some quick throwaways uh cap guns yeah those smelled man i love the smell of them i loved a cap gun

uh army men i had a bunch of those and not as good as gi joe your other pick that you didn't play with correct and then i wasn't going to draft it but it came up and it was slinky well everyone you know what slinky no they don't i don't love slinkies here's a slinky for you That is correct. And then I wasn't going to draft it, but it came up and it was Slinky. Well, everyone loves Slinky. No, they don't. I don't love Slinkys. Here's a Slinky for you. Buy a Slinky, have a Slinky, get Slinky caught, and the rings get caught tied together.

Can't get the Slinky out. You're done with your Slinky. No, they're dumb. They're like a yo-yo. If you don't know how to use it, they're just stupid. But everybody loves a Slinky, according to the song. good it's a good song i learned so much today well i should have known my draft would end up this way after that scat uh what did i learn today um i'm gonna say the main thing i learned is that a tunnel can become a tomb upon a collapse. I was going to say the thing I learned is the difference between a pipe and a tunnel

and that at any given moment, it has a third option. Yeah, it's dangerous. And Andy learned that he... I learned that Mike's got the best Christmas morning toys under the tree. I'd love to know what all the Power Wheel kids, what happened to them? There should be a backwards study on every kid that ever had a Power Wheel kids, what happened to them? There should be a backwards study on every kid that ever had a Power Wheel.

And what happened in terms of- Where did they end up? Where did they go? What kind of career did the Power Wheel kids have? No, I'll bet they're all ruined. I'll bet they're all, it's child celebrities.

You know how they all just go off the deep end when they grow up? They were child celebrities in their circle of friends. They were expected to become something great and famous. And then they just became because they had a power wheel. They were going to be the leader.

Their parents thought that they were going to be your hopes. You're our dream. Oh, my gosh. Thanks for listening, everybody. Mike, can I come over and play? Oh, absolutely. All right. Thanks, man.

See you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.