Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Owl Gets Fired & A Craft Store Battle - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 30, 2022

Spit Hit for June 30, 2022: We’ve got a Liar, Liar segment on the show today ensuring that this episode is not only extremely entertaining - but educational. But first, we discuss life in a world of invisible people, super smart pets, and life without YouTube. We end the show with a fight to the death inside a craft supply store. Somewhere along the way, Owl loses his job. Don’t miss this show! Subscribe and tell your friends about another hilarious episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Spitwads, what a great episode we have for you today. We're doing one of my favorite things. No, it's not Liar Liar. That is on the episode. That's not my favorite thing. I hate that. We're firing Al Borland. We are getting rid of that turd.

Get him out of here. And our draft is a battle royale. Has there ever been a better episode? Probably not. But you're going to have to listen to find out. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Welcome in.

Oh, Jason. Very nice. The heart is racing. I'm about to have a heart attack. Let's go. Is that different from normal? It's not my... I would say 25% of the time I'm ready for the heart attack, but I would say the majority of my life I'm unprepared for the incoming...

You're a little sweaty, if I may say so myself. Oh, am I? That's a shame. You're glistening just a little bit but that's because you were scatting and that i get it you like you right before the show you're always gonna powder up right before the show you like you pulled up sounds from the amazon and like that's how you were preparing yeah i so So here was my strategy today, right? Because you know I love the scat. It's one of my favorite things.

I wish I could do it every time. But, you know, I let you guys have it every now and then. Rules are rules. Yeah. And I was thinking to myself, self, I'm an actor. So instead of me doing it, what if i act like jack black doing it and so i just i put myself right there and i tried to you know the the classic phrase what would jack black do yes and uh that's apparently what he would do if i were him so i find that probably 80% of my mannerisms are if you took Jack Black and Conan O'Brien

and you just fuse them together. Oh, my God. That's a weird combo, man. I think most people do not. It's really not, though. I'm just ripping both of them off. That's my whole shtick. Well, Jason, you are if Jim Carrey and Jack Black combined.

There you go. Yeah, because I'm like a fat Jim Carrey. Totally get it. No, you just said you channeled him. Oh, absolutely. You didn't just channel his weight. No, I know, but you got to go with your people, and that's why I'm his people. I gave you Jim Carrey.

It's the opposite of the rhino scene, right? Right. You're climbing in? That's how I see it. Okay. Welcome into the script, Ballers. Maybe it's just the regular rhino scene. Jason? Right. You're climbing in? That's how I see it. Okay. Welcome to the Spitballers. Maybe it's just the regular Rhino scene. Jason's the Rhino.

All I'm trying to say is that Jason's the Rhino. Yeah. Nice. Would you rather on the show today? Liar, liar. Coming back at you. Al Borland going to try to stump us once again. Not this time.

Not happening. Nope. Not this time. Never happened. And we have a great happening. Nope. Not this time. Not this time. Never happened. And we have a great, we have a battle royale. It's been a while since we've battled. And so we get to do that today. Yeah, I plan to, in the battle royale.

Yes. Kill you. Okay. All right. That is my plan. Kids, only in a battle royale. Right. Only in a hypothetical battle royale.

I mean, that is the goal, right? Yes, that is the goal. All right. Well, there you go. So I will kill you. At SpitballersPod on Twitter, SpitballersPod.com is the website. You can join and support the show over there

at SpitballersPod.com or join the Spit.com, however you use the internet. The spitwads are the best. And if you're listening and you're thinking, I love this show, I've really enjoyed it, I want to help support it,

you can go to jointhespit.com, become a spitwad, and otherwise, you can be on the outside and you can be one of those people who aren't spitwads. Yeah, if you want to freeload or whatever, that's cool.

Just make sure that if you're going to freeload, you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. There you go. You're also welcome to head on over to freeload or whatever, that's cool. Just make sure that if you're going to freeload, you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. There you go. You're also welcome to head on over to spitwadsquad.com if you prefer that. Wait, does that work too? It does.

Do we have three domains? Yeah, there's innumerable. Well, you should go in order. What word is that, Jason? Innumerable. That's not right. All right, let? Innumerable. That's not right. All right. Let's get into it.

Would you rather? All right. Drew from Patreon asks this question. Would you rather have the power of invisibility or the ability to read minds knowing that whatever you choose, the rest of the population has the same superpower oh what a good twist i was like wait i feel like we've had a question like this but goodness that's a yeah nice twist i had the immediate thought of one and you know you know the okay if someone can read your mind that's not a good place to be.

Everyone's got those thoughts. That's why they're thoughts, and it's okay. But you don't vomit them out the mouth, and everything is okay. But then I thought, okay, wait. If everyone can read minds whenever, is our society actually slightly improved? Are we going to be more perfect to each other you can't be dishonest right there is no dishonesty in a world yeah lying is gone well and i think i think what that means is actually that our judgment will let it go a little bit more because it's it's easy to hold on to judgment that nobody can see

but when you're judging someone and everybody knows about it, then you're exposed. So this is like bringing us into the light. You know, our deeds are already exposed. My deeds might not be that bad anymore. I might not be judging y'all. I'm going to be like, nice hat, Mike. Nice hat. This got very deep.

Very quickly. But on the other hand, if half of the world is invisible, I'm afraid everywhere I go. I'm literally, I mean, go take, you know. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Where do you feel safe? Where could you possibly feel safe knowing that half the world? Nowhere.

Here's the thing. I would always be invisible. If I had that power, I would just choose. So now the world is empty. It's like Last Man on Earth style. Everyone's afraid to show themselves. You're contrarian if you're invisible. I was thinking that I would live in a house with a fog machine in every room.

Would that give me the definition? That would work. I've seen the Kevin Bacon movie. What if you're in your house and you decide, yeah, I'm going to hook the fog machine up. And when you flip that thing on, there's 38 people. 38 people just staring at you. They're all in your home. That would be terrifying.

And they all start just shuffling towards the door because they've been found out. You go to turn that fog machine on. It like oh it's unplugged again what is happening it's just like roaches it's been as yeah they all scattered out of the house so officially here's let me read this question again would you like to improve society and get rid of judgment by having deep dark thoughts exposed so that we don't have them or would you like to be fearful of everywhere you go and have someone in the room that you can't see at all times i'm going with option a it's a rave everywhere oh man okay that one's great that was a great question robin from instagram would you rather swap the digits in your age or your height

in terms of inches i guess so wait what would that be uh so i would go from six two to two foot six yeah you'd be two foot six or i'd go from 36 to, you can continue. So young and miniature or old and the same height. So I am... Are you going inches? So Andy, you're 6'4"? Jason's about to reveal... Well, hold on. So Andy, you're 6'4", right?

Is that what you're saying? No, I'm 6'2". Okay, so you're 6'2". So that's 74 inches. So you would be 47 inches. Oh, okay. That's what you meant. All right. Okay. So you would be 47 inches. Oh, okay. That's what you meant. All right.

Okay. So you're just under. Can someone do the math for me for 47 inches? What is that in American? It's about four foot. Four foot is 48 inches. And now I'm looking at mine because I'm six foot. So I would be 27.

So I would be a wee lad i see and i was i was all excited because i'm thinking i'm 5 11 and we're switching the inches in the feet and i'll be 11 11 foot 5 inches pass me the ball i'll dunk it you wouldn't be able to move that's what he said in inches. Yes, because if I was 11 foot 5 inches, I would be proving my Yao Ming NFL method true that I can just throw me the ball 5 feet out there, I'll fall to the ground. And I would be 6 inches tall because it would be 0-6. No, that's right.

You'd be 0 feet 6 inches. I would no longer exist. It doesn't matter what my height is. I can't choose the reverse age. Unfortunately, I am 38, which means I would be 83. Ooh, that doesn't work. I am not going to choose to have my life be near the end that close. I mean, I do plan on living to be 128.

Right. Wait, hold on. we all do actually that your your plan went from you you aren't making it past what 30 36 36 you're not gonna make it past 36 to now you're you're going the distance to over 120 yeah i mean once you pass what happened well i i learned elon musk, I learned that I... Elon Musk happened. I learned that I wasn't going to die, Mike. I mean, once I didn't die at 36. You're the lawnmower man? So how tall would I be?

You would die at 128 with Elon Musk's world. You are currently 71 inches, so you would be 17 inches. Oh, man. So this sucks either way for me. I'm either 83 years old or 17 inches. Do I get to start growing again? Nope. Just horizontally.

Oh, man. That's actually a really tough question then. Would you rather be 17 inches tall, so you're less than a foot and a half, or you're 83 years old? What could you do? Let's just explore this for a second. If we all became a foot and a half tall today it's the matt damon movie what happens to your life oh yeah yeah

where they all got downsized or whatever did anyone see that movie no i wanted to see it but i look so promising i look i can tell you i saw about a quarter of that movie oh no and you don't have it lived up to the billing because i mean i don't know maybe the ending is fantastic but everybody said it it was terrible and then i started i was like it looked good so i put it on i'm like this is trash it was bad it was it was a bad get go sad but what would life be like like if i'm a foot and a half around right people are carrying you around oh for sure i'm in someone's backpack. I mean, that's... Like Yoda.

Yoda's like... Yeah, you're like baby Yoda. No, Yoda's like four, three... Not baby. You'd be baby Yoda. No, he's not. Oh, baby Yoda. Yeah, yes.

Real Yoda is like three and a half feet. Is he? Yeah. Yeah, he's a little bit bigger. Think about... My Star Wars metrics are off. Yeah, I mean, you just have to rely on everybody for everything. So I think I'm going to take the reverse of my inches and height,

and I will be 11 feet 5 inches. Oh, so you took the option that you don't have. That is correct. All right. Tyler from Twitter, would you rather have your pet's lifespan doubled or their IQ tripled? By the way, according to Al borland yoda is two feet two inches tall oh who was closer yoda bomb i don't know that you're closer three and a half feet to

two feet oh no you're closer okay that's pretty simple math to figure out. Look, sir, if you include mathematics, fine. Maybe you're closer. All right. So Yoda is short. And would you rather have your pet's lifespan doubled or their IQ tripled? Oh, wait. Oh, my dog? Yeah.

The problem is if you triple the IQ of a dog, I would really want that lifespan extended. I mean, that's the best dog of all time okay look you think triple a dog's iq is a big that's a problem no that's a big problem okay like it's a big problem yeah yeah well i guess wouldn't you have to go more than triple on a dog to get it to a level where it's not a dog here's here's immediately where i went i like my dog uh it she's a pretty smart dog and but when we leave she goes in the kennel now and so that was my immediate thought of if this dog's iq is triple and we're like yeah go go hang out in the kennel it she's not gonna have any of that nonsense but i guess if you triple the iq of a dog they

don't really need to go in a kennel they you give them the remote because they know how to watch the television you say watch the house and they talk back and they say you got it i am stuck on the idea that if you triple a dog's iq you can hand them a remote control and they can talk this is is that the level we're at oh yeah you hate dogs and yeah you don't realize how smart they are man i mean there are dogs that can go and use a toilet and they're they don't have triple the iq but they're not going to understand your um they're not going to talk to you with triple the iq look they're not gaining new vocal cords but they will understand everything i say they might not be able to speak the language but they can understand i mean they understand a lot of what i say now dogs you know you could train them to to know what

certain sounds mean this this means they're going to know the language dude they can smell out the covid man i mean dogs are dogs are insane so there's at least one study that i've i've looked i've spent years looking this up in the last second. And average dogs can learn up to 165 words, which is similar to maybe a two-year-old child, including signals and gestures. That's just words. 20% in intelligence worldwide of dogs can learn almost 250 words. I'm just trying to quantify tripling the IQ of a dog.

You triple an IQ. That's not tripling the IQ of a dog. But you triple an IQ. That's not tripling the words. It's not like you go from 200 to 600. It's exponential. No, but I'm trying to understand what a basic IQ of a dog is. That's all. That's fair. That's a fair question.

To me, a dog with triple IQ. It's a two-year-old IQ. To me, my dogs are way smarter than a two-year-old. I feel like it's's a problem this is a situation where the dog's like wait a minute you're my pet i'm a pet you right that's the episode of rick and morty where all of a sudden the dog is sentient and the dogs take over the world it's a problem well it's only one dog so he's not taking over the world but um here's it's a really really depressed dog because none of the other dogs are on the level.

No, but you treat... I would not treat... That dog's not getting dog food. If I've got a super smart, sentient dog, he's eating at the table with me. And he's doing it brilliantly. Can we get back to the point of this conversation, which is basically that Mike can put things into a kennel as long as they have a low IQ? As long as they're stupid.

If my kids were dumb enough, I'd kennel them. That's what I think the focus of this conversation is. Wait, we're not all in agreement upon that? No, I mean, I guess if they didn't know, you know, get in their kennel. Remember when your kids were babies or toddlers that didn't have huge IQs and you would put them in your kennel? You don't remember putting your and you'd kennel them? You don't remember putting your babies in a kennel?

You don't think that a play pack is a kennel? That's a kennel, dude! Okay, you might be right there, but I love that Mike thought that the main thing here is he was getting one over on his dog that he's got him in this kennel and he's gonna get hip to you if he gets smart. She's also super excited to see me every time I come home.

Yeah, that would go away quickly with a better IQ. Instead of like, oh, it's him again. Instead of Conan O'Brien's back. So the actual question of the length of the dog's life versus the the intelligence of the dog i would love i don't see this as a problem i would love to have my dog be super intelligent i'm not gonna have to worry about potty training he'll bark when i want him to bark and not bark when i don't want him to bark he'll he'll have a little bit more control over what he you know he'll know what he should and shouldn't do yeah but you think you're controlling here's what i'm saying is i would you know if

you're not upping the lifespan every dog after that is gonna be the worst it's just gonna be the worst dog ever okay and i plan to have a dog my whole life right that smart dog will be able to like he'll probably write up his own will and stuff my dog food my dog dish goes to isaac what is he giving away i mean i'm just saying he's probably going to be able to deal he'll rationalize with his own death a little bit differently than the other yeah i'm gonna take the longer lifespan yeah me too i love my current dogs and uh sugar she's so sweet. She's so stupid. She could use the up IQ. I love her.

Would she triple? Would that just make her on the level of the other dog? That would make her like our other dog. That's right. So I guess this really does matter what your current dog is, right? You triple the IQ of a smart dog. I would love Sugar to just be a regular smart dog. That'd be great. So sweet. So sweet.

But I'm going to take the long life, give Rocky and Sugar a longer time with my children. No, you have to pick one. Sophie's choice. Okay, Rocky lives a lot longer. I mean, look, you say you don't have favorites in kids, but I don't have to do the same in dogs. Rocky's better. Rocky, greater sign Sugar. Sugar's sweet.

I love Sugar. Just not as much as rocky and that's okay it's a dog i get to do that yeah that you can get one over on yeah because they're so stupid he only can't he only kennels sugar that's right rocky has his own room his own bed mike i want you to answer it with a final answer here and then i have a question for Al. Oh, it's I'm taking the double. The double lifespan? I'm scared of the

tripled IQ dog. Yeah, you'd have to sell your kennel and stuff. And Andy will never take a dog. That's his answer. I think I would go I think I would go double lifespan for the sake of like my kids not having to go through losing a dog and stuff like that until they're in their 30s or something. Al do we have time for one more would you rather or should we

move on we got time all right let's go aaron from patreon says would you rather lose access to youtube but retain retain all social media access or lose all social media access, but retain access to YouTube. My, my spider sense tells me Aaron is a little bit of the younger demographic because like you're saying, it's not essential to you the way it is to the younger demographic. Right? I mean,

I use YouTube. Uh, honestly, the, the, if you were like able to look at my YouTube history, I use YouTube far more for music. It's easier to find a playlist. It's easier to find just someone streaming a whole bunch of music that I want to listen to.

And I never got into the YouTube world. I missed the boat i mean i see some of the clips on like facebook i guess because that's because i'm old on myspace you see them on myspace got it look i get into the facebook videos and i understand that all the people like retin link they're sensational i watch all their food videos but i watch it on facebook and i know they're on youtube but i'm like now to be clear you have a channel right now on youtube with over 220 000 subscribers youtube is incredible it is you should never ever stop watching youtube so here's the thing i'm surprised that you are are saying that because when you said i think he's younger i thought you were going the opposite i

thought you meant because he's a younger generation social media is far more important to the core of his life than it is to be like for me oh that's if i got rid of social media i think i'd be a happier person you know what i mean like we all would exactly we all would like when i got rid of yeah it's a plague bro i haven't used facebook in like five years partly because our former business revolved around Facebook and I was just like crazy burnt out. And so I don't use Facebook and I don't miss it at all. There's not like, oh, man, I wonder what Twitter all the time. And it's because it's a job. It's a job for me.

I walk off of Twitter. Sorry, guys. Come on. I get that you're you putting stuff out on Twitter is part of the job. It's a J-O-B for me. I walk off of Twitter. Sorry, guys. Come on. I get that. You putting stuff out on Twitter is part of the J-O-B. But to me, Twitter is a news source. I get tons and tons of breaking news. It's like a normal news source, but just way more depressing.

Listen, here's what came to mind. Because I just built a computer with my 11-year-old son. And it took like a day and a half, and we were putting all these parts together. All my research, how everything worked when I got to a tough done, I was like, man, what would I have done? Like, I would have had to call somebody that knew how to do this. If they didn't, I would have had to buy a book. It probably would have been shipped to me in six to eight months. And then I would have had to learn in the book. And I could just watch. I mean, 20 years ago.

It was just so easy to learn now how to do something. 70%, like I said, of my YouTube is watching music and listening to music. The other 30% is how to change a flat tire. Oh, everything. Everything is how to change windshield wipers. Back to YouTube for the flat tire. Literally, the greatest learning platform, the greatest educational platform is YouTube for me. For sure.

I have a degree in YouTube and I can't get rid of YouTube from my life so I'm cutting social media out but I did wonder could you pivot like let's say YouTube didn't exist right that you for music Mike you like music well just go to Vimeo like yeah no I or or your Apple Music or Spotify I could go anywhere you know I'm just trained to go to YouTube. Can you find DIY videos on Facebook video? Are there enough other platforms? Because this question is specific. The main video platform is gone or all social media platforms are gone.

No, because maybe something would fill the gap. But YouTube, the reason it works is no matter what you search, there's five videos on it. I'm keeping the YouTube, man. I'm keeping YouTube. You guys talked me into it. All right. Yeah, get out of here, social media. Al, you're keeping YouTube, right?

For sure. Also, make sure you follow us on IG, on Twitter, at SpitballersPod. It's really important, and we love the interaction there. That's right. All right, it's time for Liar Liar. Oh, yes. All right, it's time for Liar Liar.

Oh, yes. Liar Liar, pants on fire. As time has passed, this segment has become more and more my favorite segment on this show. Because it is the white whale. We have not yet defeated Al. What are the odds that over the amount of times we've played this game, there are three of us that not one of us have ever answered all three questions correctly. There's only three questions. I'm pretty sure you could figure it out.

I'm no math wizard. No, do you guys remember statistics of how this would work? You're saying the three of us could game the system by playing this right? math wizard no do you guys remember statistics so how this would work look and i get it everyone you're saying is the three of us could game the system by playing this right no no just just the chances of one of us so it's one out of three and there are three different questions so is that three times three times that's why why don't you youtube it and we can figure that out that's a great point that's how you'd answer the question I feel like it's one times three times three, but I think that's how you do the statistics. I don't know.

This is not the world. The answer is zero percent. We have the research. Oh, man. Talking smack. I was so ready to whoop you last time, Al, and I am going to whoop all over your parade here. All right. Three rounds.

Three facts per round. One of them is a bold-faced lie. We must defeat Al Borland today. Round one. Fact one. Male pandas do a handstand while peeing on trees to maximize the odor field. Oh, man. That's a dangerous move pandas it makes sense and it reminds me have you guys ever seen on youtube you ever seen a bat a bat take a pee

yes is it upside down because bats no bats hang upside down but then they they right side up and they use their little hook wings and they hang on and then they just let loose. Let it go. Yeah. Fact number two, there is an island between California and Hawaii known as the Pacific Bird. It is 30 meters wide and features a 120 foot tall natural rock formation that greatly resembles a giant hand giving passerbys the middle finger.

That is inappropriate, Pacific Bird. There's a possibility that Al is now inventing geography. That's great. And then fact three, an apple that you purchase in a supermarket was harvested approximately eight to 12 months before you buy it. No way. No way. No way.

No way. You know what stinks? What stinks is Al Borland is now even more determined to defeat us. Yeah. And I can feel it with these three facts. Oh, yeah, because the second fact here, the Pacific bird, it's so long and so specific that I want to say I don't respect Al enough that he would come up with all that. But now I still don't respect him, but I know I should.

The Pacific bird? It sounds ridiculous it's ridiculous flipping the bird it's so specific that it's got to be the lie here's what i know an apple there's no there's no stinking way that it was harvested approximately 8 to 12 months ago because if that's the case they know when they're harvesting these apples this will rot in in 12 months and 14 days because you bring an apple home from the grocery store you got a shelf life i i don't know i have thought to myself many times because i we we do apples in the fridge because i like a i like a cold crisp apple do people not do apples in the fridge monsters monsters don't do apples okay well okay we're all three in the fridge with our apples. All right.

All right. I wasn't sure if it was like everybody does it. Some people do their milk in the fridge. I'm doing it on the counter. My point is, I've done the apples in the fridge, and I know that a fridge extends shelf life and stuff, but I have several times thought to myself as I grab

an apple, like, wow. Apples last a really, really long time. You know, as you're saying that, I have. You know you've thought it. We've been doing fondue recently in the Moore household. And bragging about it. Oh, yes. Is this a horrible brag?

Farting in the glasses and smelling it too? What is happening? Well, of course, but that's been years. We've been doing a lot of fondue. And so we have these green apples that we bought, and they've just lasted forever. We bought a new bag of green apples, assuming that our old one was probably too old. I bring it out. I was like, this is a perfectly fine apple.

No, no, no. I'm locking in the apple ones to lie. I'm locking it in. We buy apples all the time. They start to go bad. They start to get a little bit soft and soggy and brownie. No. But that's because they were harvested 12 months ago.

Oh, and they just... 12 months, they last 15 days in my house, and then they're done? It's impossible that that's true. That's my lie. I'm like... I hate this. I'm just going with my gut there all right i think i think that the 8-12 months cannot be true cannot be true i think that the pacific bird is far too specific

which means i think that al borland wrote it so i am taking the first one i'm taking male pandas do a handstand while peeing on trees because the other two are so clearly lies that he's trying to dupe me and male pandas. Two of them are true, right? Yes. Yes.

So I'm saying that both of those things I think are lies are true and that male pandas are doing a handstand while peeing upside down. Oh, you're going reverse psychology.

That's the lie. Reverse psychology. I see through you, owl. Okay. There's a lot of Princess Bride thought process going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got us tilting. Okay. There's a lot of Princess Bride thought process going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's got us tilting. Okay. Mike, lock it in. Take the bird, Mike. I've got to do it. This is for the team. Yes. This is for Team Spitballers here.

All right. The Spitwad Squad. I've got to lock in. SpitwadSquad.com. I've got to lock in the island because I think it might. One of us has a chance. I think it's false. And look, the fact he has us having to do this is terrible.

This is stupid. All right, Al. All right, Mike takes the W on that one. The island is completely made up. Yes. Yes. And yes, your apples are harvested 8 to 12 months before you buy them, and they're stored in a refrigerated device that removes the oxygen to prevent decay.

That's amazing. I didn't think about storage like that. That makes so much sense. I was thinking they're just sitting out. I'm stupid. So wait, pandas pee upside down? I mean, we're burying the league here. Pandas pee upside down?

I mean, no, they're burying the leader. By getting their urine higher up on the tree, it makes the odor field wider to mark their territories. Did you just climb the tree a little bit versus the whole handstand? I can promise you that if I... Can't you just aim? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, if I were to do a handstand, my urine would be lower than if I tried to get it high while standing.

I'm so disappointed already. All right. Round two. It's all Mike is our only hope. Fact one. Elmo, the Muppet created by Jim Henson is the only fictional character to have received knighthood, an honorary doctorate and a Nobel Prize. Okay.

Okay. That sounds true. I could see that. Yeah. People love Elmo. Yeah, they do. Especially the queen. There exists a biologically immortal species of jellyfish known as the Turritopsis dohrnia.

It can reach full maturity and then revert to infancy. That's 100% a fact. I know that. That's 100% a fact. Really? You know that's a fact? Yeah, I know that's a fact. Where have you heard that one?

I've just read it. I've read it somewhere. Jellyfish Magazine or something. I don't know. Jellyfish Weekly. You just saved it because I would have locked that in immediately. I think we're going to help it in.

No. This is the lie, this third one. To avoid traumatic brain injury, woodpeckers wrap their tongues around their skulls in a small empty cavity to help cushion the blows. I love this so much because Andy,

if you're sure that the second one is true, I am sure that the third one is, is true, which means Elmo is a lie. Oh yeah, they absolutely, that's, that's true.

I think they do. It makes the skull thing. I've never heard that one. Oh man, we're going to have to choose our own. I am going to trust you, Andy. I'm taking Elmo as a lie.

And my guess, my guess here with Owl and his deceitful ways is that like Elmo has, you know, received a Nobel Prize. Yeah, exactly. And he doesn't do that to us. He's never done that. No, but he made it all up. Right. But what if what if three different Muppets had received these, but no one had all three? That's what I think the truth is.

So I'm taking Elmo. I'm locking Elmo in as the lie. They wrap their tongues around their skulls. I'm taking that one as the lie. That one's the lie. I'm going woodpecker liar. So I trust Andy. Andy doesn't trust me.

Mike, where are you at? Yeah, apparently. Birds are weird. That's what I know. Solid, solid. Jurassic Park taught us that they are dinosaurs. Yes, they were dinosaurs. Now they're birds.

They can do very, very bizarre things. And look, I know this about birds. They have tongues. Yep. Factual information. You're really working through this like a genius. Look, when you don't know, you have not much to go on, you grasp for the information you know.

I'm going with Elmo. There's no way that jellyfish... Andy's ruined us here. I'm locking in the Elmo is the lie. Come on, Mike. Come on, Mike. Al? What was your answer, Andy?

I'm sorry. The woodpecker. Okay, just making sure. Mike and Jason got that one right. So Mike's on pace here. All right, Mike. I should have trusted you. I knew the jellyfish one was true.

I'm offended that you thought I would take something that close to accurate. It's completely made up. Oh, that is actually a really good lie. If it wasn't for Andy knowing the second one, I would say it's impossible that a species is immortal. And can we talk about that for a second? We need to spend some more time on that. Yes. That should be a whole podcast.

Maybe we should reach out to the stuff you should know, guys. Talk about this immortal species of jellyfish, because that is unfathomable. They Benjamin Button. It can revert to infancy. I've read about this before, and I was like, wow. Dude, I would- That's incredible. Yeah, they obviously can still succumb to predators and stuff, but they're biologically

immortal. That's insane. That is an insane fact. So have they like, when you came across this, Al Borland, did they say the oldest known jellyfish in existence? Did they like? No, I didn't see anything about that. Now looks to be eight years old. It's probably pretty hard to tag a jellyfish.

We got a carbon datum, man. Oh, that's crazy. All right. All right. Come on, Mike. Take us home. All right. Here we go.

Using genome editing tools, Harvard scientists were able to store an animated gif of a galloping horse in the DNA of bacteria. That doesn't make any sense. Oh, it makes sense, man. Ones and zeros. It makes sense. Everything is ones and zeros. Okay.

Fact number two. The opposite of paranoia is called pronoia. The suspicion that everyone is conspiring to help you. Oh, my goodness. That seems like such a lie. Pronoia. That would be great if you had that. Oh, my gosh. This podcast like such a lie. Pronoia. That would be great if you had that. Oh, my gosh.

This podcast. Hold on, hold on. You trying to help me? You trying to help me again? Wait a minute. Are you on my side here? I'm a little pronoid right now. This guy's pronoid.

Due to selective breeding, this is fact three. Due to selective breeding, the average modern horse now puts out the equivalent of 1.2 horsepower compared to the output calculated when the term was originally coined in the 18th century by James Watt. That has to be true. I mean, it's just so clear and obvious. I mean, look at every species. Also, why do we use horsepower now like what what is happening because it's a frame of reference right like if if we said it you know this has jason jason jiga joules of power that means nothing to me okay jason uh how powerful is the horse one horsepower

but i'm not i get what you're saying but I'm not comparing it to a horse. I'm not comparing it to a horse. I'm comparing it to a 300 horsepower car. I know the frame of reference. I know that metric now. I don't think, now if I had 300 horsies over here, I could run

really fast. Alright, I think that one's true. I think that one makes sense. I think that that one's true i think that one makes sense i think that that uh that one's a lie i'm gonna believe that a horse when they determined horsepower they quantified it at that point in time does that mean if we go by true horsepower the cars are slower now like well it was 300 horsepower car but now it's 250 horsepower horses got a lot stronger if they updated it yeah well the horses that's what they're saying horses did get stronger yeah and it makes sense we should lower i just want to go

oh and three so i'm gonna go with that one is the lie oh man i i get the ones and zeros thing i get it but why why would harvard scientists be like i want to put an animated gif of a galloping horse on the dna also two horse lies in one round or is it two horse truths in one noun and he's trying to help us and we're being pronoid about it oh i'm switching i'm going to the i'm going to be pronoid here he's helping us uh i'm calling the paranoia positivity pronoia is the lie this is where i'm very upset i don't remember more about in in science class getting all the science prefixes like i so i assume that para means like out to harm. Is that what?

How would you break down that word? Well, you think about paranoia. Paranormal. Para must mean something about like some kind of negativity. Yeah. Well, why is paranormal a bad word? Well, it's different. Yeah. No, you're yeah no it's like outside of

oh this is this is terrible i'm pro noia pro noia i'm locking it in it seems like a good bet let's go oh we did it can before al what are you before you have to he's well mike and i both locked in that the paranoia pro noia is the lie but before you lose for the first time ever al i want to say this has just been a delight i have learned so much about upside down animals peeing and immortal uh jellyfish this has been a delight now walk the plank i too have enjoyed this uh and i did think uh coming out of round two that this might be the last time we got to do Liar Liar on the show. But luckily, it won't be because I'm still undefeated. No!

That's impossible! The lie there. Andy got that one right there. The lie was the horsepower. Oh, my goodness. So Andy didn't even get to go 0-3. Nobody's happy. Wow.

I bled everybody down. It's good for the fans. We get more of 0-3. Nobody's happy. Wow. I've let everybody down. It's good for the fans. We get more of this segment in the future. The fans want you to burn, Owl. I don't think that's true. I think they want us to burn. I apologize to my family. What is the horsepower?

What's the facts behind it? Do you know the details? I have no idea. It's just me. I just made it up. Dude, you are such a good liar yeah you gotta go play some poker so there's no way this guy's not laundering hold on hold on okay oh hold on james watt is that a made-up person i feel like it's not but i really don't know it was in my

like it it's in the recesses of my mind but He goes into his liar room and he figures these things out. Well, as we're now talking about power and he's James Watt. Yeah, no, he's a real person. He's a mechanical engineer, Scottish inventor. Wow. Dang it, man. All right. Well done.

JJ Watt. Time to draft. The Spitballers Draft. All right. Jason's got the first pick, and we are doing a craft supply store battle royale. We are fighting one another inside of a craft store, as some were known to do. Oh, yeah. inside of a craft store as some were known to do oh yeah one of the places where uh not that any you know the supermarket or the uh home depot these are not places that fights should break out

but somehow a craft store seems like an even worse place for a fight to break out because i'm imagining i've actually seen uh as many fights to the death in a craft store as i have anywhere and did you realize how much we are up against this being that jason i know lives in a craft store i know he does it's true my wife is a uh we we have stock in all craft stores uh you know we we own uh joann's and michael's and hobby lobby they you know those are those are our stores um and i get the first pick so here's what i'm gonna do yeah if you lose it would be embarrassing no to make it easier for you guys i know what the best item in a craft store is i'm very confident in it and i thought about this heading heading into this draft i am

not going to take it i'm going to give you two gentlemen the chance to not let it come back to me because I want it bad. But I feel like, you know, I got to, you know, I got to take a foot off of myself here. So it's a fair fight. Instead, I'm going to start with a heavy duty staple gun. Okay. Get a little bit of range. range you know you get a staple to the eye i say goodbye because you gone and i'm gonna take because i'll say this if i'm coming at you and you've got a heavy duty staple gun and you're you're rocketing these staples at me i'm not like i'm a baby i'm turning i'm tuck tailing and run and i expect you to do the same here's the problem i've i have no choice but to believe you but inside my heart i i don't think that a staple gun you can get at a craft store has

any kind of projectile speed. When he said little bit of range, he meant little bit of range. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He meant like six to eight inches. Look, I'm kind of an expert here. If you look up a staple gun on any one of these sites, you're going to find two options. On a construction site. You're going to find two options always.

You will find a light-duty staple gun, and you will find a heavy-duty staple gun. You want to hang up your Christmas trees or your Christmas lights on your house? You get the heavy-duty staple gun. Yeah, I got one of those. Yeah, and you want to know where you can get it? You can get it from my hands as I stand over you.

You can try to take it out because that's my object while I'm shooting staples into your flesh. First of all, we accidentally handed Jason some sort of authority that he's now trying to use against us in this draft. I don't think they shoot very far, but that's a good pick.

It's up to the people. If they actually shoot staples, then sure, that's dangerous. There you go. Apparently, there you go. Apparently, if you get hit in the eye, you instantly die, according to Jason in his argument. If you lose your vision, you are not going to win this fight to the death. I'm going to go ahead and throw that out there. Yeah.

All right. Am I up next here? You are. I am going to go with a little bit of chemical warfare. Oh, okay. I'm taking some paint thinner, and I'm going to try to... Is this a cloth over the nose while you're... No, this is more like...

Would it eat the form? I mean, if necessary, but I don't want to get it on my hands. So this is more of me just i'm gonna pop the top and when you come running at me i'm gonna two hands under and i'm i'm throwing a all right thing of paint thinner on you all right okay and then you're gonna have to figure out how to get that off so what i'm gonna have to do is i'm gonna get cancer in 20 years i'm gonna have to close my eyes for a couple seconds and that that's... If it gets on your skin, you're going to be calling the fire department.

I know that. Really? Oh, yeah. Paint thinner is bad. Oh, yeah, yeah. Super flammable. Super chemical burning on your skin. I'm just saying... Oh, it doesn't do that. No, that's what I... I don't think... If I poured paint thinner all over my arm, I think my arm's going to be fine. I should go rinse it off.

Really? Maybe Al knows better. I don't think it's going to do anything to me. I don't want it in my eyes. I don't arm's going to be fine. I should go rinse it off. Maybe Owl knows better. I don't think it's going to do anything to me. I don't want it in my eyes. I don't want it in my mouth. No, it's not going to burn you or anything. Yeah. It'll dry your skin out. You might need some lotion. Nice number one pick, Andy. I thought

it was really bad for you. Oh, man. Chemical warfare. It smells bad. could i'm gonna lose some brain cells for sure when i inhale a little bit of that pain thinner so you know you like we'll kill you in this battle royale but later that'll come to bear on us i'm reading that you could get some redness there could be some redness and some burning. There could be some burning. There could be some slight irritation.

You guys are going to be a little bit uncomfortable as you pursue. All right. So far, so good on my number one pick coming back to me. All right. Mike, try to beat that. I am tilted now because I have- I've never YouTube paint thinner. That's what I have learned.

I just wrote down my list, my short list, and I figured there was two things that would easily go. But now Jason with his demeanor over there, I feel like he's lording over me and knows something that I don't. You better take it. Okay, well. Although I will be really upset if you take it. So with my

first pick, as one who has felt the unfortunate sting of this weapon. I think you just drafted felt. Is that right? No, that is not true. Although felt would protect me easily from your paint thinner.

I will take an exacto knife. Okay. Okay. That's on my list for sure. Those things are super dangerous if you are making any sort of slashing motion. And man. All right. What you got, Mike?

I mean, how is it not scissors? Oh, that's a decent one. got mike i mean how is it not scissors oh that's a decent one i'm gonna look i'm gonna take a giant pair of metal scissors crafting scissors an exacto knife i have like i have two blades here can i make an upgrade to your pick sure shears fabric shears oh fabric yeah fabric shears those things are killers i mean that was my pick guys that was my first pick you don't remember that i picked fabric shears i wrote it down that was so you're telling me jason that an exacto knife and a pair of fabric shears are not your number one they are not my number one pick oh man i am fascinated yeah this is this is gonna be great because i think in real combat i i think i've got a better

i think i've got a better weapon. I am taking... All right. All right. So you've got... You're dual wielding an exacto knife and fabric shears. I've got blades for days. You've got blades for days, as they say. It's hard to follow up paint thinner, to be honest.

You're going to need a lighter. Do they sell lighters? That's... You know what? All of a sudden, it makes your first pick decent. I don't know if they saw lighters i'm going to take uh they sell candles equivalent of an anvil i am taking a sewing machine and i'm going to wallop you on the head with it oh my word i drafted your pick i hope you

i hope you're working out man oh my word you you are so close i thought you were gonna take it and then you got the worst thing i could ever think of you were so close i thought for sure you got it then you got a sewing machine what are you you're gonna toss this thing at us i'm going to hit you with it like an anvil. If you toss a sewing machine at me. Three feet max. I mean, I could easily dodge that sewing machine. And then it's out of your hands. I'm going to blunt force hit.

I'm not throwing it. Nobody. You put that in my mouth. I'm not throwing it. I'm swinging it. I'm swinging it around. All right. We're back to my number one pick.

You want to know what you would find right next to that sewing machine? A freaking iron, a full corded iron that I can swing around. And that is an anvil. It's a ball and chain. I'm imagine a heavy iron. I am. And I'm imagining it connected to an electrical cord. Yes.

And if I swing that thing at you, Then that thing is ripping off the electrical. It is detaching in about three swings. The only time it detaches is after your head is gone. I'm telling you. That thing is ripping. There's no way. First of all, I'm plugging that thing in. Okay, and I'll stand six feet away from you and I'll be very safe.

No, this is just start to fight. He's going to warm it up and then he'll swing it. I don't know where he's going. I'm going to have a scaldingding hot heavy anvil on a cord. If we were to go to a craft store and we were to fight. I just drafted an anvil that you said was stupid that I was going to hit people with. And then you drafted an anvil to hit people with. Because I can hit people with mine.

You're going to toss a heavy sewing machine. It's like a handle. You can grab the top of a sewing machine step out of the way and you won't get close enough to me because this is at least a six foot cord if not an eight foot cord let me if not an eight foot cord let me take a poll here uh okay al would you prefer to be hit in the head with a sewing machine made out of metal or an iron made out of metal that That's not really a fair question. The question should be, if I'm in a fight, would I rather you have a sewing machine or an iron?

And I would much rather my opponent... You don't. I took a poll. It's a poll from me. It's not you rewording my question. Well, you want... Because I don't think you can hit me in the head with the sewing machine. And I would fear that Jason could hit me in the head with an iron. How much does a sewing machine and i would fear that jason could hit me in the head with an iron how much does the sewing machine weigh yeah probably 20 pounds 10 pounds 10 pounds and you're confident that you could swing with like actual speed you will be digging the paint thinner out of your eyes when i swing this thing you took a 20 pound Now, if I got hit with that, yes, that would hurt.

It would absolutely hurt. You're darn right it would. You will never be able to hit me with a 20-pound dumbbell ever. While you're swinging, I'm taking a nap. I'm going to order a pizza, and then it will be halfway, so I'll probably have to go to the bathroom from indigestion from the pizza. Then I will come back, and then I will slide yourself out of the way. What's your third pick, Jason?

What's your third pick? All right. My third pick here is. I'm glad I can entertain you too. I'm going to take my item. I'm going to break it into two items. I'm going with a paper cutter. I'm drafting two more.

Okay. And I'm ripping that blade off the paper cutter and I got a sword and shield my friend well you've already been bludgeoned by a sewing machine I will give you 25 minutes to try to rip that thing off oh okay I will just unscrew it then

with what I can break I can stand on Mike come put your hand in this thing so I can chop your hand off. I'm with Andy. You're not breaking it. There's no. Okay.

You're not breaking it. If I stood on it, you're getting. We're going to prove this. I'm going to buy one. We're shipping one to the studio. Let's get on this because if I can't break it in five minutes. No, apparently we're going to buy one, Mike, based on that. That's right.

Five minutes? No, it's a battle to the death man you have two tries i can break that thing off for sure all right so you took a uh a paper cutter and it's back to me i'm going to go with a wood burner because i can probably set the paint thinner on fire with it and i can probably burn you with it it's kind of like burner yeah yeah like you carve names into you you can make cool drawings in our skin hot i can light the paint thinner on fire i could engrave my initials it looks like like a soldering iron is what it looks like you're look we're running out of picks here mike i'm going with the wood burner oh no i know i know what I'm taking. Good. All right.

So I already have like blades for days as we have talked about. I am going to take. We've seen this move several times. If you watch any type of martial arts movie and you see someone reach into their pocket, you know what's coming out. It's chalk, baby. I'm taking crushed chalk and i am throwing that in your face and you will be blinded blinded what movies are they pulling chalk out of their body like you've never seen blood sport blood sport there he pluralized it but there was

one really i've never seen that movie therefore i did not know and i stand by it had that not been jean-claude van damme that fight would have been over because of the blinding chalk dots. But to be clear, the one that got chalked won the fight? Yeah, because he was Jean-Claude. Okay, I'll just make it sure. Okay. And also, I will check my sources.

Jason Moore is not Jean-Claude Van Damme. That's true. I can never do the splits. I would like to see the splits. Not happening. Jean-Claude Van Damme could That's true. I can never do the splits. I would like to see the splits. Not happening. Jean-Claude Van Damme could rip off that paper cutter blade in one second. I can't even make a wide A. I am a regular A in my splits.

That is as far as I go. Lowercase A. More of an H. All right. And this is perfect because. More of an H. That deserves credit. That was a good one.

I know that Jason is... Number one, I'm not worried about Andy's items. Number two, Jason is over with his iron plugged in, waiting 10 minutes for this thing to heat up. Yeah, they don't heat up very quick. I don't need it to be hot. He is also spending... That point, the tip is ripping through your skull. He is also spending... That point, the tip is ripping through your skull.

He's also taking another five minutes while I watch him struggle endlessly trying to rip the actual paper cutter apart. He's also loading staples. He's loading staples into his gun too. He needs some time. And I need some projectiles. Okay.

I need some projectiles. You know what you... And I've got time. Like I said, I've got time to build. I'm going to build me some model rockets, baby. And I'm going to be firing these things. You know how fast a model rocket is. I love that pick.

I don't know if it's good or bad, but I love it. It's fun. It's fun. And I will say this. If that model rocket hits me, if that model rocket hits me, it's going to be a lot harder to dodge that than to dodge a sewing machine. But when it hits me, I'm probably going to say, ow, pretty loud.

I'm going to put some D engines in that bad boy. You'll be done. You'll be impaled. The Patriot's coming for you. We're going through the mental recesses of walking through craft stores with our mothers as kids and seeing all the model planes and the model rockets. Well done, Mike. That's my favorite pic in a long time.

He's building model rockets. I snorted. And you need YouTube to build them. You know that. Oh, you're darn right I do. I don't remember how to do it. I'm going to be calling my dad. Oh, my dad.

Where do I put this? Now, wait. I got to put both clamps on the on the launcher so there's a chance you're shooting the rocket right into your own face got it oh there's a thousand percent chance that it's not firing you're throwing you're throwing that rocket to launch a model rocket it's impossible all right i uh i've realized guys you guys have made it clear to me that you think i i'm not going to be able to catch you by surprise with a sewing machine no that's a fact so i'm going to need to disrupt a little bit of

your uh you know mike's coming at me with a couple of shears yeah jason's coming at me uh he's gonna have to get close to the staple gun look i'm going to throw just a bucket of beads on the ground and you will oh oh yeah you will fall and then i will crush you with that sewing machine and i will burn my initials into your home alone style you'll get them yeah i like it man and then once i brand you i'm gonna pour some paint thinner into the wound that's right that's right you'll get me if only you drafted marbles because i think the beads I could just walk on. I know. I'm trying to. You can't. I'm staying in a craft store. Marbles, they don't

sell marbles there, do they? What are you talking about? You can build like the marble sets. Marbles are from a toy store, aren't they? No, you can definitely get marbles at a craft store. Alright, I'm staying in the lane of a craft store here, Jason. Alright, that's fine. I'm taking a bicycle. of a craft store here, Jason. All right. That's fine. That's fine.

I like it. I'm taking a bicycle. I'll take a.22. Okay. Some craft stores, I'm sure, out in Texas sell them. All right, Jason. I've got one last pick, and I've got two things that I really want. So I'm trying to think here.

Let's see. What is my roster right now? I've got a heavy-duty staple gun. I'm trying to think. Do's see what is my roster right now i've got a uh a heavy duty staple gun i'm trying to think do i need range it keeps throwing in heavy duty like well because there's two kinds you get i mean just search staple gun we're not mistaking a soft duty we we need to yeah like light duty we okay we need to go over to the other man. Owl Borland, please weigh in on the heavy-duty staple gun. You're not going to hit anybody that's very far from you, that's for sure. And if you do, say they're four feet from you and you manage to hit them,

it's going to flick right off of them. The issue is I'm getting them to run away. The issue is I'm getting them to be scared of getting hit by a staple gun. Okay. That's just fear. That's stage one of war. And then the beads come out. run away the issue is i'm getting them to be scared of getting hit by a staple gun okay okay that's that's just the that's just fear that's stage one of war come out now if you get someone like actually with a staple gun aren't you just closing the wound unless it's the eye mike i'm only aiming eyes no you're giving him more points mike because if you use those uh shears and exactive knives he can close his own wounds all right look he's paper cutting himself mike has aid mike has some blades i'm gonna come at

him with my blades i've already got a paper cutter blade i am taking maybe maybe maybe i'm taking a rotary cutter rotary cutter is on my list those things are i can speak from experience, they are crazy sharp, and I could just run this thing all over you. I know exactly what that is, but also, what is that? So a rotary cutter, it's a, have you ever cut a pizza? You ever cut a pizza with a pizza cutter? It's the same thing in a different package. My wife brought that one up as an idea for me, and I didn't know what it was.

I'm drafting a pizza cutter. It's a razor blade as opposed to a pizza cutting blade it's very can you use it on pizza it's probably an upgrade for a pizza cutter it'll cut right through a pizza i remember helping my daughter with a craft project for school and i had a we were using a rotary cutter and we're trying to like cut uh i think we're cutting construction paper so you know i'm using a ruler and i'm we're lined to cut I think we're cutting construction paper. I'm using a ruler and we're lined up with the construction paper but I am just taking chunks

out of this ruler, man. It could not withstand the rotary cutter. Those things are serious. They are sharp. Oh my goodness. I was thinking about taking spray paint, you know, some kind of, again, I'm going for the eyes eyes but a rotary cutter

i'll just go for the neck i've got i've got a bunch of just incredible your your lineup is amazing andy and i will say this if we were in a wrestling or boxing match we were in a cage match it just you versus me we don't have anything in there yeah i would prefer to give you a sewing machine that you use in this fight like i would want you to also try like this it just takes one hit jay just one hit but it just takes two swings and you're tired i thought about drafting some pillow stuffing you know just as protection for like thought about it yeah yeah that's good against mike's blades i thought i had duct tape oh duct tape that's solid breaking a picture frame and taking the glass out of it i Yeah, yeah. That's good against Mike's blades. I had that. Oh, duct tape.

That's solid. Breaking a picture frame and taking the glass out of it. Yeah, I had giant mirror. Oh, yeah. I had glass ornaments. Oh, that's not bad. All the Christmas stuff is there. That's a Home Alone thing, too. It is.

That's what I thought of. And then I don't know what exactly to call them, but the yarn stick, the yarn needle. Yeah, the knitting needle. A large knitting needle. I mean, you're talking about getting someone in the eye. You get someone with that thing, it's over. Is there something you can do with a glue gun? So glue gun was on my list, but it's one of those things where it's not going to injure you.

It's just going to hurt. It's really similar to Jason's's iron just a lot lighter well yeah i mean if i swung an if i swung a glue gun around i you would get hit and you'd go oh stop and then if i swung an iron around you'd go and you're on the ground you're you're you're gone it's the best pick of this whole thing let's go in that cage match give me an iron and you a sewing machine let's go to go to work um i also had um it's seasonal but how about a pumpkin carving kit you know i mean like plastic screws and stuff well no like they're they're just all those little blades but those blades break right in

half they break with a pumpkin i mean i've, they got a little blade in it, but those blades break right in half. They break with a pumpkin. I mean, I've never gotten through a pumpkin with one of those things. All right. My final one was spray paint. I figured that spray paint to the face is very much like mace. Yeah. But I went with the chalk. Yeah. Very nice.

You went with the chalk pick. All right. What did we learn today? Oh, I mean, read know the liar liar section uh i learned uh that global invisibility is a terror um that i do not want as a superpower for half of humanity i learned what paint dinner really is unfortunately look it's good for paint. Yeah. Not good for harming skin.

Redness. There's a jellyfish that can live forever if it wants, which doesn't make any sense. We learned so much and that Al is still undefeated. Also, Al, you're fired. You are no longer employed. Sorry about that, man. Fire, fire.

But get this show up first, please. You got it. Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.