Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Rumpology & The Best Fries - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

Spit Hit for July 6th, 2023: Can you spot the lies? Can the hosts defeat the Owl? Liar, Liar is back today! We also discuss survival skills, being puked on, and rodeo clowns. Then, be prepared to swing by a drive-thru on your way home because we are drafting the best fries. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Hey, Spitwads, we have a great episode for you today, a classic spit hit episode. We're discussing survival skills, being puked on, of course, and rodeo clowns, along with a very entertaining draft. Don't miss a minute of today's show. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Oh, no, here we go. Oh, no, let me go. No! Given the circumstances.

Oh, boy. I was done dirty. You were. As dirty as it's ever been. Welcome into the Spivallers. That was some black magic that y'all just put on me. How long have you known that you have the scat for today that is about three seconds before i mean music was going and i think he hit the button

and then announced it the music was going and then it's jason you got the scat and i i was i mean 100 like i still think you're're lying. That'll be the best part. That's the way to really get someone. I thought for sure it was Andy. I thought it was me too. Didn't I have the last one? We do this show too much. We gotta slow down on these episodes.

There's a chance I messed up. Oh, yes! Please! Welcome into the show. We're good. You can get him back. You want to know how? Yes! Yes! Please! Please! Oh, welcome into the show. No, we're good. Okay. Would you rather... Hey, you can get him back. You want to know how? Because, by the way, that was not premeditated. That was just... We have the same internal goals, and once he said it, I was like, I hit the button, and here we are.

But you can get him back today, because he's Liar Liar on the show. Oh, baby! I didn't know that either. I am brand new here. I have no idea what's going on. Hi, I'm Jason. A little insight into how much prep these guys do on this show. Wait a minute. How dare you, sir? We've been working on these jokes about how fresh this is for a long time.

I have a journal that is just full of jokes. Zingers. It's your zinger book. I did prepare for the draft. I rate them one to five. You did prepare for the draft. I did prepare for the draft. As did I.

We have Liar Liar. We're drafting the best fries, which is a great draft. I think there are consensus picks, but there are some very polarizing picks there is yeah there is literally one place whose fries are the worst last the worst and I see it at number one on some list it blows my mind because they're terrible yeah I know what that is and it's I love them and they're great they are great uh And so we also are doing Would You Rather on the show. I feel like a french fry test is a good starting point. Who are you? Who doesn't like?

No, no, no. Foods, you know, I like this food. I like that food. Who doesn't like french fries? Wow. I don't think I literally do not know a person that doesn't like french fries. You're definitely out there. There are certainly contrarians out there like, I don't like french fries wow i don't think i i literally do not know a person that doesn't like you're definitely out there there are certainly contrarians out there like i don't like not not just a specific one from a specific french fries but just french fries i've never heard

it's a food so you know that there's someone exists that doesn't like french fries that's probably true and that's a problem you gotta have a potato allergy or something that's the only way you don't like a French fry. Here's what I want to know is how... Everybody's got their favorites, right? Yeah. And we're going to draft them later. And you'll be hoping we pick yours first.

But how much of this is based on being... Like when you're a small kid, the first fries you ever have or like what restaurants you've been introduced. Like, okay, which is the, you know, kind of the result of conditioning fry conditioning from my parents fry my parents. I mean, to me, I don't think it's that much. I don't have nostalgia when I eat fries. Oh, there's some, though. There's there's one.

There's one. There's one. There's some in that one. They've kept it consistent. Which is why you have nostalgia. Where there's the other places who are reinventing their fry every two to three years. They're chasing. Yeah, they are.

Chasing the dragon. Chasing my 101, baby. And that's fine because it's a fight pick. And we'll get there. But this is exactly. It's like coaching. Let's do it. Start the draft.

You fire your coach after one year you got to let him you got to let him build yes some history all right we'll talk fries later potato skin potato skin off yeah i'm so excited for this draft it's gonna be good thank you for reviewing the show we appreciate it subscribing on spotify apple podcasts uh Let's do some Would You Rather. Would you rather? All right, Kevin from the website. If you were lost in the woods, would you rather have a pocket knife, a magnifying glass, or an empty canteen? And an empty canteen.

Oh, and an empty canteen. Oh, we get all three? Yep. Oh, okay. let me start okay so you get a pocket knife a magnifying glass and an empty canteen or one other person but you have nothing but the clothes you're wearing what is what okay i may be revealing something about my lack of uh wilderness training i guess you can maybe start a fire, but what other use am I doing? What am I doing with a magnifying glass in the middle of the woods?

I'd love to watch you do something with it. Like, oh, look at these berries. Let me get a closer look. They definitely look poisonous. Do you not know the actual answer to that? Wait, wait, wait. So hold on. I want to join.

Like reflecting? I mean, for starting a fire. That's it, right? I to join. Reflecting. I mean, I want to join. Starting a fire. That's it. Right. I mentioned that. But even that is like when you're in the woods. I don't think that's going to be really tough. If you have a canopy, you're not getting much direct sunlight.

Agreed. I mean, I find a clearing, Mike. I will bet you I cannot start a fire with a magnet. Oh, there's no way. There's no chance for you and me. So fun to watch you try. I feel like if I had a box of matches and a magnifying glass. Your 50-50 chance.

I couldn't light the matches on fire. Like, I could not get that to a point. Did you ever do the ant murdering? I never did the ant murdering, no. I was a gentle. Yes. I was I was a gentle, nice kid. I'm not a psychopath. Did you?

No, no. I mean, I smashed him with my with my boot. Well, yeah, I'm still human, but I never did the magnifying. No, that does seem really indulging on the pain. You know who does that? People that don't like French fries. Yeah. That one guy. Yeah.

Freddie, we're talking to you. So look at this. For a pocket knife, what am I doing with the pocket knife? What type of pocket? Is this a Swiss? Sure. Oh, that's very valuable. Okay, hold on.

Now I've got more tools. No, just the knife version. I mean, it's just a knife. Oh, do they make a good blade? I don't know. Damascus or steel are we talking? Empty canen, I have to find some water, right? Yes. Well, that means that when you find some water, you can actually do something with it.

But you can use your magnifying glass to see if there's bacteria in the water. I'm going to actually be searching for the water with the magnifying glass. You know, Sherlock Holmes style. Where are you, water? Yeah, what's the size of this magnifying glass? Humongous. For sure. This is a two-hander.

It's actually your shelter. It's your shelter. A two-handed magnifying glass. A two-handed magnifying glass. You could use it as a weapon. Absolutely. You keep it on your back? Mm-hmm.

If it's cold out, you can warm yourself up. Mm-hmm. Start a fire on your back. What is the biggest magnifying glass? At what point does it become a different tool? It becomes a telescope at some point, right? That's what I'm saying. There has to be a world record for biggest magnifying glass out there, right?

And that would become dangerous. You need five people to operate this magnifying glass. I've seen this. This is like pinky in the brain stuff. Yes, it is. Jason's on it. Yeah, I'm on the case. Has anybody tried to put one in space?

We did. Hubble did it. A magnifying glass? Yeah. Like in orbit and it just burned something on Earth? Yeah, that would be like a mad scientist thing. That's what I mean. Because if it's not a telescope and it's just a magnifying glass in outer space.

That's going to hurt. You're only doing destructive things at that point, right? Probably. I think that's what the Death Star was. It was a huge magnifying glass. What did you find, Jay? Well, so when I'm looking for the magnifying glass, it's talking about the world's largest lens. I don't like that it's not describing this specifically.

It needs a handle. It has to have a handle for me to consider a magnifying glass. I will continue to search. I will take the person over the three tools. Just for company? What if it's Jason? I think it's more valuable for building shelter, for hunting with my bare hands. for uh that's true hunting with my bare hands i've been told that the number one thing like if you drop in the wilderness your loss or whatever you're gonna be stuck there number

one is you you're supposed to build the shelter first is that correct that's what i that's what is in the back of my brain as well so yes okay this is 100 accurate yeah i mean i think survivalist owl borland is that the first thing you would do? I think so, yeah. That's the first thing I would do, because you don't want to get to nighttime with no shelter. Oh, the bears. And then once it's shelter time, then you figure water out the next day.

I was just going to say, depending on what time of day, if I got time left, I may go find water and then build shelter near that. That's right. 3 p.m. I'm building shelter. Okay. All right. I feel like i feel like oh he's still searching i feel like people are more concerned with how well it is magnifying what you're looking at they're not rather than the size and they should be more concerned cart before the horse yeah does that mean we could possibly make the biggest one a new industry for us huge two hand

let me just search two-handed magnifying glass see if that's a thing you're gonna search two-handed you let us know um that's my final answer i want the help in another pair of hands building a shelter um you you can become kind of in your own head out there sure you know a lot, a lot of people, they, you know, you don't want to make all your big decisions when you're alone after you're like low on food and low on water and stuff like that. You need some support. Yeah. But now you do have to feed twice as many.

I was going to say, you got to split the food, split the water. Yeah. Now that's only if they know about it though. Yeah. You want to hide it from your. So you're just going to be with someone else to watch them die. I found six berries. No, you just, when you're out there, you, you set a policy. We're building shelter together, but food, you're just gonna be with someone else to watch them die i found six berries no you just when you're out there you you set a policy we're building shelter together but food you're

on your own yeah you find it you eat it no they find it i eat it i find that i eat it either i had a pocket knife a magnifying glass and an empty canteen i'm just going to die slower right okay or maybe faster because i'm drinking whatever water i find what's your answer then i'm taking the person i'm still looking at the magnifying apparently two-handed magnifying glasses are like boards that just you hold you're not doing good work wait but that's not a magnifying glass it is it's stupid i think if there's two handles it can't be a magnifying glass that's my that's my hard fast rule uh i'm not i'm not... Since we've established that this is a two-handed magnifying glass, I have to take the three objects.

All you need to do to find a two-handed magnifying glass is find a regular magnifying glass for a giant. Oh, okay. That's something I can do. Did you Google that? Let me. I'm on it. I'm on the case.

All right, Josh from Patreon. Would you rather be a bull rider or the rodeo clown? Oh, from patreon would you rather be a bull rider or the rodeo clown oh that's a bull rider or the rodeo clown so the clown runs away from the bull no the clown create gets the attention of the bull right after the save after the rider falls yeah and says run at me mr bull and then jumps over and And then they jump in a barrel frequently, at least in the cartoons. But the rider often breaks their back on the fall and gets trampled and crushed. The clowns, while that is very dangerous, I have to imagine. You have to wear clown makeup. Well, that's a...

You are a clown. You're not just a human being called the rodeo clown. You are actually a clown you're not just a human being called the rodeo clown you are actually a clown not by profession bull riders probably do better with the ladies than the clowns do oh yeah you're saying as a as a profession they probably more who's more esteemed the rider or the clown never a clown the answer to who's more esteemed is never the clown. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, no, I mean, what are you paying these clowns?

That's not much. You pay them in like carrots. Right. Yeah, exactly. You've got to choose the bull rider here because they're both dangerous, but one gets glory and one gets laughed at. And women. I mean, we've been watching the yellowstone andy and i and so the whole bull riding cowboy

yeah uh fantasy for us we're we're living in the i'm this isn't even a question i want to be a bull rider have you ever been to a bull riding event um maybe if there was one at the county fair once. Does a mechanical bull count? No, because that's just a bar. I have, in fact, opened a bull riding event. With music? By singing the national anthem acapella. No, you did not. Oh, yes.

You did? Yes, I did. How'd it go? Oh, we crushed. Wait, with other people, not just you. Oh, I thought it was just you other people, not just you. Yes. Oh, I thought it was just you. No, not just me.

I need the film. This is when I was in the, there's probably not, if there is, it's like eight millimeter. Okay. But this was back in my days of when I was with the fair band and we did the circuit. Wow. But one of the things is like, okay, we got to go do the bull riding event. That's its whole own universe, man. It own universe man we learned that on the yellowstone it's its own universe the people riding the bulls the people attending this event they just they are they are a different breed of human being than i am and i'm

not not saying it's bad no they're called tex Texans. It's just such a different world of you're like, these are aliens. I am no longer with human beings. And I'm sure they thought the same thing about us. It's just so bizarre. Jason, would you say us as Arizonans, not ranchers, not rodeo people, would you say that you've gained a greater respect for that culture in world through watching yellowstone that would be the the largest bull riding oh yeah they do there's a huge amount there's a whole rodeo side of this story but bull bucking bronco is very different than a bull rider

to answer andy's question 100 000 I have never had respect for cowboys. That's a genre that I have always disliked. Sure. And now it's like, I want to go buy me a cowboy hat. Get some chaps. Absolutely. How long would it take you and I to move some cattle together? Oh, man, probably three days.

That's my guess. this is city slickers yeah they've made this movie before fellas oh that's true so i searched bull rider and one of the top results here on videos is bulls that have wrecked the most riders so they're famous for destroying people yeah i'm I'm taking the clown. I'll take my shame. I don't know the statistics having no real knowledge of bull riding. I'm guessing that the clowns have fewer injuries than the actual bull riders. Oh, guys, I have found a gigantic magnifying glass. I mean, it is ginormous.

Can you buy it? I don't think it's for sale. Someone must have made this for a YouTube video. It is humongous. Two-handed? Two-person. I mean, you're going to need to get the stuff and the person when you're stranded because you can't carry this thing by yourself. Wow.

They're trying to melt a gold bar. Oh, okay. I'll let you know. You're trying to melt a gold bar. Oh, okay. I'll let you know. You're just watching YouTube videos? Well, it's pretty interesting. What is happening? I'll fast forward. Don't worry.

All right. We're moving on. Stu from Patreon. Would you rather vomit on your hero or have your hero vomit on you? Ooh. So let's just pretend your hero's i don't know michael jordan i'll say number one do you have a hero that's a great question no uh you don't have a hero jason i don't think so i don't think so because no nobody's coming to mind is like oh who's your hero i I mean, OK, easier for us. Do you have a sports hero?

Charles Barkley, you know, growing up was like the man in the Phoenix, Arizona. He didn't want to be a role model, Jason. Yeah, right. He declared he wasn't one. Right. But he can still be a hero. Heroes aren't always role models. So I would say him.

You got Larry Fitzgerald. Yeah. And then Michael Jordan. Yeah. kurt warner i don't have a hero that's that's the truth i don't have a hero do either of you have a hero someone that you would consider like this is really my hero oh boy um now that you put it that way do you understand what i'm saying what i'm saying Oh, boy. Now that you put it that way. Do you understand what I'm saying? What I'm saying is, like, it's just someone that you would say definitely my hero.

Probably the closest thing you really get is, like, parents, some family members. They have melted the gold bar. They have done it. This magnifying glass is the one I want in the woods. This is incredible. So would you barf on this guy? This is my hero. And I would much rather barf on him than have him barf on me.

So now we've gotten there. I've found my hero and there's no way I want this man to barf on me. Okay. Give me your, uh, your favorite actor. Favorite actor. Uh, I'll go Kevin Costner. Okay. I to barf on me. Okay. Give me your favorite actor. Favorite actor. Go Kevin Costner. Okay. I'll go Tom Hanks.

Okay. And I'll go DiCaprio. Okay. And it's like, would you rather meet that person, vomit upon them? No, no, no. I want to be vomited on. Okay. 100%.

Easy. Because if I vomit on them, what a nuisance I am. The fan's already a nuisance. But what a horrible nuisance. And I owe them now. Like, I feel like I've got to make it up to them, which I can't do. They won't need it. If he vomits on me.

Right. You think he's going to owe you something. He's going to owe me. I'm going to go to some premiere. I'm going to get something. He will definitely remember you. Yeah. Like, oh, that dude I puked on.

I think he'd remember either way, Mike. That's a fair point, Jason. Oh, that's the dude that puked on me. Yeah. Look, I'm not a superstar actor. I don't know how much they're being vomited on. Yeah, how often does that happen? It can't be often.

Once a week, probably. Well, I don't know. People do get nervous, right? You meet a celebrity, and you're like, oh, man. I can't believe it. Like, Tom don't know. People do get nervous, right? You meet a celebrity and you're like, oh, man, this is like Tom Higgins. I still think I still think thinking about like my favorite actor. I don't believe they're going to owe you anything. I think they're going to give you an apology.

I think they're going to say, oh, man, I am so sorry. That's embarrassing. Just pull out a big wad of cash. And then they will be ushered away. And at the end, I have a bad story story to tell i think it's a good story to tell like oh did i tell you about the time i met tom hanks i threw up in his face i puked all over him he had to get a new shirt yeah i guess both are great stories and one of them is not me being vomited upon. Yeah, that's really what it comes down to. So if I had a hero, I'd puke on him.

What do you do when you're puked on by a stranger? What's the next move? Shower. Okay. Shower. But what if you can't? That's further down the line. I mean, yes, you're eventually going to shower.

But if you're in a movie theater. Oh, you're out. I'm out. I'm out. You just leave. Yes, you have to leave. Stranger or just someone you know? Because that makes a big difference.

It really does. No. It does, and here's why. If it's someone that I, an acquaintance of mine, a friend, or even a friend of a friend, when that I, an acquaintance of mine, a friend or even a friend of a friend, when that happens my instinct will be to not shame them. To make sure they

don't feel. They already feel bad enough. They already feel awful. But if it's a strange, if I'm in a movie theater and some rando pukes on me, I feel like I'm getting up to fight. Yeah, how mad do you get at that? That person probably feels terrible. But I don't know them, so I'm getting up to fight. Yeah, how mad do you get at that? That person probably feels terrible. But I don't know them, so

I don't care about them. I really do think I would... You would try to fight somebody that puked on you. It'd just be my natural instant reaction. You would definitely win the fight because they're already keeled over. But you've lost at the same time because now you're fighting with puke on you. Yeah, I...

So I think the first thing that you do... Such a ridiculous a ridiculous i think the first thing you do is say it's okay try to make them feel better yes what does mike do i puke back fire with fire bro so you're on what if you're on an elevator and it's you know it's a long oh i put my get puked on the bottom and you gotta go up the elevator nope i i will look like I am in the Blair Witch. I will just put my face in that corner. Oh, like it never happened? I will put my face in the corner, and I will look at nobody until that doorbell chimes, and I just run.

Man. It's the smell that's the real problem. Yep. You hold your breath, too. Oh, for sure. I was recently in a vehicle with someone who threw up a lot. What? Yeah, and it was- What? Do you want a name? No, no, I don't want a vehicle with someone who threw up a lot. Yeah, and it was...

What? Do you want a name? No, no, I don't want a... Was it a child or a grown-up? It was... Oh, it was a grown-up. It was not a grown-up. It was a child.

Okay. It was your child. No, it was not my child. Okay. I don't want to out someone for getting sick, and they felt sick, but I can just say the worst part is the smell. Was it your car? Yes.

Yes. You have to get a detail? No, no, no. They were feeling a little bad. So I was taking them home and they had a bag. And sure enough, it happened. I'm getting nauseous hearing you say that. Oh, do you realize how many people who have just listened to this segment are throwing up all around the country?

We have created a real problem on today's episode. Would you rather from Kylie? I'm moving on. Oh, this is a great question to transition to. This is a perfect follow-up. Would you rather eat potato chip flavored ice cream or ice cream flavored potato chips? All right, let me center myself. I think my answer is actually the ice cream flavored potato chip.

And the reason being is that sweet potato chips are good. But salty ice cream is good. No, it's not. You've never had like a salted caramel? I wouldn't say that's salty. That's not salty ice cream. No. It's got salt in it.

I've never had a salty ice cream. Let's take this out of ice cream. Have you had a salted caramel? And you're like, oh, yeah. Salty. Real salty. I'm really tasting the salt. I have definitely had salted caramels that I thought, this is pretty salty.

But it is predominantly sweet. Yeah. Yes. And you can have, like, kettle corn would be the same taste to me as, like, an ice cream-flavored potato chip. I think you'd get the sweet-salt combo there. Yeah, that really... A potato chip flavor with no crunch is going to be really strange.

Oh, that'd be gross. Yeah, I don't think that works. Oh, that'd be gross. Yeah, I don't think that works. Although, is that just mashed potatoes? But they're not salty like a potato chip. Are we just eating cold mashed potatoes? Is that what... Is that what ice cream... Is that what the ice cream is?

Potato chip flavored ice cream is just freezing mashed potatoes? That's awful. Yeah, I mean, that's probably a good comp. That's exactly what it would be. No, you've got to take the- It's exactly not, but I get what you're saying. No, think about it. Think about it.

If you're telling me that this ice cream is going to taste like a potato chip- Yeah. If you took mashed potatoes and flavored them a little bit more like a potato chip- I guess if you put some- And then you freeze them, that's pretty much exactly what it is. Yeah, if they were really buttery and then you freeze them so it's like creamy yeah yeah that's fair gross yeah that's nasty yeah i will take the chips so you're going ice cream flavored potato chip yeah i can always flavor would you get with which flavor would i get with well i'd get i'd get with uh uh

go with go with oh okay all Well, that changes my answer. I don't think it's vanilla. No, I think I'd want something a little bit. Cinnamon. Really? I don't know. I've never heard of cinnamon ice cream. I think I would go with something like a Snickers. Okay.

The candy bar? You've never had Snickers ice cream? No, Snickers ice cream? Yeah, I get what you're saying. I want something multi-layered. I think we need to move on. We are falling apart. We really are.

What flavor would you get with, though? Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think we need to move on. Multi-layered. We are falling apart. We really are. What flavor would you get with, though? You could get with this. You could get with that. Are you still looking at gigantic? Yeah, can we get an update on the gold bar? The update is he has cleaned the vomit off of himself. All right, we are moving on. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

I am looking forward to this liar, liar, but at the same time, as our losses stack up yep the weight of these it just gets heavier and heavier today's a great day and you if i know anything about al on a scale of one to a hundred brooksie how would you rate the competitiveness of alborna 100 100 out of 100 and so when you have a streak that is now grown to the teens I believe, which he's nodding at, how competitive do you think he is and how much does he want to still win? It's the

only thing he cares about. It's the only thing he cares about. Literally, Brooks and I were setting up the studio today and I said, I hate liar liar days because... The risk? The risk, yeah. This is going to be such a good day. This is like back when Mike was unverified on Twitter And it was just such a fun joke for everybody

But Mike And then once it's over you lose the joke forever You're about to lose your joke Yeah loser Doubt it Alright if you have never heard this segment before It's two truths and a lie Three rounds

Al is a tremendous liar It's in his soul Or good at finding lies And he is trying to get us yet again Three rounds. Al is a tremendous liar. It's in his soul. Or good at finding lies. And he is trying to get us yet again. How many, do you have a streak number for us, Al? Do I dare ask it? I don't know.

I think this will be 15. Oh, gosh. Look, I don't know, but it's 22 to be exact. All right, here we go. Round one. You ready? Uh-huh. We have to do it.

I just read it. All right, round one. Oh, goodness. ready? Uh-huh. We have to do it. I just read it. All right, round one. Oh, goodness. Two truths, one lie. We got to identify it. Okay. Number one. A monkey habitat in England uses a Marvin Gaye impersonator to stand in their enclosure and sing Let's Get It On in an effort to encourage more mating.

And it works. That's not true. So that's the first possible truth i could see it being true i could see yeah just put on the album number two but they appreciate a live performance live music oh it's impersonating yes all right number two george washington's personal bedpan was recently purchased in a private auction by Christopher Jackson, the actor who originally played Washington in Hamilton, a musical on Broadway. That's not true. Come on. You guys are hammies.

You got to know who. Oh, I know who that is. No, I know that's the right actor. Is it? But the question is, is this because he saw some Washington thing come up on auction and then just decided he needed a piece of history? A piece of history? The bedpan?

The third possible lie. Sylvester Stallone's mother was a rumpologist. Oh, no. Which is a fortune teller who examines crevices, dimples, warts, moles, and folds of a person's buttocks. No. In the same way other fortune tellers read the palm of their hand. This is what kind of nonsense? Two of these are not true.

Oh, you know what? Let's throw out Sly. There's really a rumpologist? Probably. If there's a person that doesn't like fries,'s really a rumpologist? Probably. If there's a person that doesn't like fries, there's a rumpologist. They got what? Seven billion people in the world? They examine the crevice.

Dimples, warts, moles, and foals. It all made sense until you said of a person's buttocks. What else would a rumpologist look at? Oh, man. It's a rump. All I want to do is just so we've got the marvin gaye monkey habitat situation the george washington bedpan situation and the stallone one i mean the fact that one of these is an invented lie by Al is shockingly, it's just complex. These are complex lies. Hey, yo, mom. Hey, boy.

Check out my butt. What is it? Hey, yo, mom. What's my butt saying today? I'm going to lock in the monkey thing. I do not think they would hire an impersonator i just can't imagine that that would and it works that would not work uh i will lock in the rumpologist one i am not going to i just have to believe that that is the lie here i can see the

i think the hamilton one is true i think the marvin gaye one they do wild things with monkeys i'm locking in the script is completely flipped like today while you're setting up the set al you were nervous you're upset now i'm freaking out because like let's say mike doesn't go with the george washington bedpan which you go with the George Washington bedpan, which you go with whatever. And it is that, then you've win already. I will leave. The show is over. Go back to YouTube videos. Oh, man.

You gotta lock one in. I feel like What is a... Come on, with a rumpologist? There's no... I'm going the rumpologist. Alright, final answer. goodness i'm so scared rumps and a monkey no no no nobody's right oh my gosh right away sorry guys what these are not true things i refused i hate hey. What if he's been lying?

I hate you. Oh, that's a good one. He just keeps the street going by straight lying to us. So he did not buy the bedpan. Did he buy something else? No. It was all made up. Yeah.

So a rump, wait. So a rumpologist is real, and it's Sylvester Stallone's mom. No wonder he was so poor growing up. That's a good point. We should have thought about it. Not a huge market for that. I remember he had no money. Yeah.

Should have been a palm reader. And yeah, there's video of the impersonator in the monkey enclosure singing. That one makes sense to me. They don't speak English. The monkey, it cannot. It says, and it says and the language of love is not english my man it did they they found that the monkeys all showed they uh more like mashing of the teeth and stuff like that that was yeah what they do in mating season because you

know what this is like the one and i'm calling you out on it back in the day there was the dogs face north or south to poop or east i don't remember what it was yeah but that one's true it is not i have watched my dog poop in every direction since then you're a liar who's the loser in that situation okay that's fair all right do we i guess we keep going huh i guess so just for the you can compete amongst yourselves all right here we go. I like that Brooks has shared just what a quick Google search looks like if you just type rumpologist, and the number one result is rumpology near me. So people be looking for rumpologists.

People are weird. They get very near you. Yeah. I mean. Now I just want to know what my butt says. I know what mine says. It says we're losers again. Round two.

In the original 1940s children's story, Pinocchio kills Jiminy Cricket with a hammer in a fit of rage. All right. I'm locking that in. It's true. Yeah. In the 40s. In the 40s, it definitely happened.

All the old fairy tales and Disney stories are horrifying when you read the source content. Okay. Number two, the hammer and sickle symbol on the Soviet flag adopted during the Russian Revolution was tattooed on the left shoulder of every enlisted soldier who wished to be considered for rank advancement. So it's like a little Yellowstone brand. Little brand. And the third one, the TV show Home Improvement was originally called Hammer Time, a play on MC Hammer's famous catchphrase.

I can see that. His famous catchphrase was Stop Hammer Time. Not just Hammer Time. I think the source material would come through the shortened version here. I'm going with that one. Hammer time. Do you think that one's the lie? No, I'm not.

No thinking. All right. I'll go. I think the Russian one's a lie. I don't think Pinocchio kills Jiminy Cricket. I know what you're saying, and they're all horrible, but that Pinocchio kills Jiminy Cricket. Oh, for sure.

All right. here we go. Andy, you take the lead here. All right. The hammer and sickle was the lie. Okay, so the rational one was the lie. That means Jiminy Cricket's dead, and Hammer Time was the name of the show? Correct, yep. And they pivoted from it.

Pinocchio was a murderer. As quickly as. After the pilot, I believe, is when they made the pivot. We're going to call it Hammer Time. Wow. I'm glad they didn't chase that forever. Oh, my gosh. All right.

So I'm in the lead. I'm awesome. What are the kids into these days? So stupid. Round three. The Guinness World Record for most M&Ms stacked on top of each other is six. True. I know that to be a fact.

That's a fact. Number two. Rhinorrhea is a technical term for a runny nose. Oh, my gosh. I think that's true. If you see the word. No, rhinocytus, isn't it? If you see the word written. No, I didn't know.

Itis is swollen. It's diarrhea. Of the nose? Of the nose. Yeah, so rhea. Wait, did you just Google it? No, I'm just saying that's how you spell diarrhea looking at this word and the rhino i mean we know that's the nose rhinorrhea it's like rhinus so was the dia the anus that's a good point i mean like

you gotta break down the word dire like a diaphragm? I don't know. My diaphragm is leaking. Keep going. Just saying. When you break down these words scientifically, they stand for something. From the inception of the periodic table of elements in 1869 through 1901,

the table included M-E. meteorite. Nice. So there was a period of time in which there was an M.E. meteorite. People were real stupid back then. Man. Well, the M&M's one's 100% fact. Yes. We just saw that video.

Yeah. Did you know that? Did you know we had seen that? No. If I knew you had seen that, I wouldn't have put it in there. Someone just put it in our company's leg. Just sent it to our company's leg. Someone just sent it to... Oh, no, there was a tweet.

There was a tweet, and they said that we could actually break this record potentially. I'm sure we could. I don't know, man. I was watching. That was some athleticism to stack that M&M's. I think that the rhinorrhea one is a lie. I get where you're going, and I think it's a deft lie. It's very smart of you, but I don't think a runny going and I think it's a deft lie. It's very smart of you,

but I don't think a runny nose. I think that's rhinocytus. I'm going to go with rhinorrhea as well because I'm going the meteor. I'm going the meteor. You're smart. Now if I'm right, I can't win. Exactly. I'm playing the game.

No, I'm pivoting. Nope. It's too late. You locked it in. You locked it in. Mike and I are going periodic table. Periodic table. Final answer. Jason, I'm sorry. You locked it in. And Andy and Mike tied for the win today. Boom.

Rhinorrhea is the runny nose. Yeah, rhinocytosis. Mike's right. Anything in itis is inflammation. I have appendicitis. My appendix is swollen. So what makes the nose run and not an itis? Aria. Aria. My appendix is swollen. So what makes the nose run and not an itis? Aria.

Aria. Aria is runny. So a runny butt. Yeah, a runny butt. So why isn't it butt-aria? Butt-aria? Well, because it's not your butt that's runny. It's anorea.

Yeah, that makes more sense. Diarrhea. Well, I got to break this down. No, you don't. Google image search that one. It's like when you're crying, you have eye area. No? No.

That was one of the worst Liar Liars ever because we just got the air. It came out of the sails too quickly. But I hope you at home. I hope our listeners beat him. I hope somebody got it right. They all claim they do. And they're like, well, I got it listeners beat him. I hope somebody got it right. They all claim they do. And they're like, well, I got it right. Yeah, when the lights are on, it's a different story.

And I know that playing the analytics of the game, it's not wise for us to all separate on the first question. Yeah. But if you have conviction. But Rumpologist, man. Come on. I can't believe that. Oh, Rumpologist. Daya you have conviction. But rumpologist, man. Come on. I can't believe that. A rumpologist?

Daya just means through. That's all it means. Oh, okay. So it's like it's a flow through. So why isn't it diarrhea of the nose? Right. It should be. So you think that there's a rumpologist out there that has rhinorrhea at the same time?

Certainly. Oh, crap. And diarrhea. Now you're getting into it. You're saying a lot. All right. Do we want to draft now? Let's go.

The Spitballers Draft. We are drafting the best French fries in the world. That's it. The best fries. We are drafting four rounds, I assume, of the best fries. Yes, sir. And this one is easy. I was a little bit sad because I feel like there is a one-on-one here.

And I thought I was not the one-on-one because it was Andy's cat in my mind. But at least... Surprise. At at least I did you say surprise. No I did not. Oh I'm giving you a Conor McGregor surprise. Ah yes. But to no one's surprise I'm going to take Mac Donald. Yeah. I mean McDonald's fries they're perfection.

They are. They're the reason you go to mcdonald's yeah i mean they're always exactly the same because the other food is pretty much garbage they're perfect they're golden they're long they're crispy they're uh they're everything you want in a fry they salt it just the right amount it's perfect. I haven't had them in a long time because I don't eat at McDonald's. And so I guess I haven't, but I've been tempted to go buy for like a fry and a McFlurry combo. Like maybe I should do that today.

I think you should. I've had to hit them up recently. The family likes the Filet-O-Fish. I'm fine with it. I like the McNuggets, but the fries are just... They're great. They are so...

They got to be hot. They're so... But they're also good cold. They are great at all times. How much real potato is in that thing? I don't care. So I saw something about the potato they use that they require a specific potato.

I mean, everything is completely perfected in the line of like getting it to be the same everywhere on planet Earth and this is the only fry that I think comes with nostalgia Agreed. Now I have to play the game here

because Mike has two picks after me so I have my actual 101 but I think it can get back to me but the other one Because Mike has two picks after me. So I have my actual 101. But I think it can get back to me. But the other one. What is Mike like in a good fry? Interesting.

This is very difficult. I'm going to go with what I think is. All right. I'm just going to go with this one. Five Guys Fries. Yeah, they suck. Oh, they're so good. Oh, those are the ones that you're talking about? Those are so soggy.

The Five Guys Fries are the best fries on earth. They make them with peanut oil. They're fresh. They're so good. Would you have taken them if I didn't? They would have, depending on what your pick was, they would have been in strong contention. But they're not my, they wouldn't be the first one.

The Five Guys Fries, I just I just look forward to them. And look, here's a little lesson for everybody out there, pinching pennies in your fancy restaurants. Five Guys knows how to do it. You order a fry, they give you a cup full of fries. And then they just throw some more fries in the bag.

They do. Because they believe in happiness. That's the only thing that's good about it. They have tricked people by giving them an abundance of fries into believing how cool is it when you order fries from them that they throw a bunch of extra fries in the bag. And I get that. That part is cool. And I really like their Cajun flavor.

That part's good. But their fry is soggy. Soggy fries have no business in this land. I don't want this to be the end of the show, but if you keep talking, it will be. I will happily make this the end. Mike, you have two picks now. All right.

Well, then I know. And I might have played it wrong. If you would have not taken Five Guys Fries. I'll just say, I don't know where you would have gone. It's a whole parallel universe, and I have no idea where I would have ended up. But I'm going to do right by them. So number one with my first pick, I will take the Jack in the Box Curly Fry.

Curly Fry, ladies and gentlemen, because there are imitators out there, and they do a good job imitating. They're also delicious. It's interesting that that's the number one curly fry for you. But in particular, the Jack in the Box curly fry just hits so different than all the other things. Jason knows what I'm talking about. Nobody.

Speaking of Rhea. Oh, yeah. There's consequences. I mean, that's to all of these. Don't act like there's any of these that aren't giving you a little Rhea. There's a little more with the curly category. A different kind of oil gets used. On spices it's w40 it comes out curly if you don't like if you don't like like jack-in-the-box curly fries i don't like you so we're being very polarizing. All right. And then for my second pick.

Please don't take it. I honestly have no idea what you're thinking about taking. But I like the Five Guys fries. I like more potato. Oh, he's going to take it. I know exactly what Andy wants. And you're on the path. Let's go.

It could be two things. Okay. All right. Let's go. It could be two things. Okay. All right. Let's see. But I'm just going to take the one that I want and I'm going to take the Chick-fil-A waffle fry. I know. Okay.

Then I know where you're going to go and you are 100% correct. Your pick is also delicious. But if I can't. That's a great pick. The waffle fries are amazing. If I can't get curly fries from Jack in the Box or the Imitators, give me a waffle fry. I don't know what about the little holes in between of the cut. It just makes – maybe there's more surface area.

I don't know. There's got to be a scientific or mathematical equation. They're great for dipping. They are fantastic for dipping, yes. They're awesome. I mean, they're just delicious. Fries are so good, man. French fries are great. This draft is making me hungry. Chick-fil-A mean, they're just delicious. Fries are so good, man. French fries are great.

This draft is making me hungry. Chick-fil-A fries will be my second pick. All right. My pick is the Red Robin fries. Yeah, that's where I thought Mike was going. The Red Robin fries are technically my favorite, just above the Five Guys. And if you don't know, they are a steak fry. Yes, it's a steak fry.

They're bottomless. They're crispy, but yet potatoey. And they dip well in ranch. They are so good. But I thought that one might slip through. I hate steak fries. I prefer the exact. Yeah, you've been known as a shoestringer.

I'm a shoestring guy over steak fries. Regular is fine by me. I do not like steak fries, and I love Red Robin's steak fries regular is fine by me i do not like steak fries and i love red robin's steak fries if you're gonna do steak fries just copy them just do exactly what they're doing because you're right it's so crispy on the outside also their ranch is great dipping ranch yeah i got good i'm getting hot and bothered over here fellas all right you are up with two picks. You got two picks.

Oh, I got two? Goodness. All right. Okay. Let's go. Pick number one. It's exactly what we just talked about. It's the shoestring fries.

Oh, goodness. And so I am going. I know neither one of you are shoestring guys. Not on any list I have. That's fine. But I'm going with a chain that I wasn't even sure if they were national. They are pretty much national. They're not everywhere, but I looked at the, yeah, I'm going Freddy's.

Yep. Freddy's frozen custard. Their fries are so good. I honestly can't stand their fries. They're so crispy. Both of them. My wife completely agrees with you, Jason, that she- They're so hard to eat, man.

They're so hard to eat. I can't get enough substance. I want to lick my fingers or I want to eat the fries. Yo, crazy. What you do, let me just teach. Let me just teach for a second. You grab three or four fries together. But it's impossible.

Oh, it's super easy. No, it's not. Maybe with a magnifying glass. Let's get some in here. I'll show you how easy it is. And the nice thing is when you dip those four or five fries together, you're getting more surface area of the crunch and more surface area of the sauce. It is outstanding.

That's all there is, though. It's all crunch. That's what I want. There's no substance. There's no potato in there. I think the shoestrangers do prefer crunch. That's the big thing for them. Yes, and that's why I like Red Robin's steak fries because there's still a crunch.

There's a crisp. I think Freddy's peels the potatoes and then they just sell them to red robin who all right they just cook the potato skin no they don't have any potato in them it's all that's what i mean you know you guys you guys don't like potato chips are you gonna say there's no potato in potato chips because but those are chips those aren't fries i'm just saying they're they're the same thing um i mean they're not the same thing they chips, but you get what I'm saying. They're thin, and they're still made of potatoes. I think you just made our point.

Eh, shut up. All right. Now, my next one here that I'm going with, I have to have these, and these are polarizing. I totally understand how people hate these. I get it. Oh, no. Not everybody's going to like these fries. Oh, no.

But I do love them. Interesting. My own family doesn't. Like, my son hates these, and he's so stupid for this. In-N-Out. No! In-N-Out fries. I love them.

I love them, too. They're so good. Now, there's a short... It's the opposite of McDonald's. You've got to eat these things fresh out the fryer. You got about, you got a 60 second countdown window. I am heartbroken. But I love In-N-Out's fries.

Shout out to Animal Style. You guys are, I thought I was going to be able to. You like them too? No. Only Animal Style. No, I mean. That's the only redeeming quality of In-N-Out fries is you can say, hey, I would like you to cover these in grilled onions, cheese, and Thousand Island.

Some people love them. Some people hate them. I love them. Jason, I didn't know you loved them. It makes me really sad. 100% sunflower oil. It is the healthiest of all the fries, which does not matter. The healthiest?

It can't be more healthy than the Five Guys fries. Yeah, but those have actual potato in them. Disgusting. All right, I am tilting. I thought that was a layup for my third pick, so I will go with the better curly fry. I will go with Arby's curly fry. Oh, man.

That's the imitator. Dude. I feel like it's the other way around. That's the imitator. Dude. I feel like it's the other way around. That's the imitator. I have to agree with Andy here. I think, and you heard me talk up Jack in the Box fries. The curly fries are great, but I think Arby's is the OG. That's the OG.

And Jack in the Box is imitating. They're both doing a great job. Whoever's imitating the other. And here's what's upsetting. The source material was really. I was waiting for that to be. Whichever one was drafted first, I was going to grab the other one with my fourth pick because I thought that the other two of you would be cowards.

Not a coward. And would say, oh, someone already drafted is too similar. I'm going to let that go. I would have drafted. You would have had both. I would have had all the curly fries, baby. Oh, my gosh. So good.

Yeah. But I am speaking with my picks picks i would have taken a second on the nostalgic like world mcdonald's is one i think the arby's curly fries really i see nods back there i think it's the second most nostalgic because it's known for one place when i was growing up and i can just think you know you want curly fries go to Arby's. But Arby's was also like the fast food restaurant I visited the least. Well, that's a shame for you. Yeah, that is. But not for your digestive system.

Not for my bowels. Yeah. So that's up there for you, Al? On the nostalgia scale, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And it's probably a 103 for me. I'm so hungry, guys.

Yeah, I would. This draft has been bad. We are fools not to have fries here. Yeah. Mike? All right. You could put me into full. Don't know what I'm so hungry, guys. This draft has been bad. We are fools not to have fries here. Mike? All right. You could put me into full don't know what I'm picking mode. Yeah, I mean, I have some left, and we're just picking at the scraps at this point.

A fry? Boy, hasn't Burger King tried so hard? Oh, they're not even on my list. No, I know. They're not on mine either. That's why I brought it up. They try so hard? Oh, they're not even on my list. No, I know. They're not on mine either. That's why I brought it up. They try so hard and they can't get one. Because they keep reinventing their fry.

I know. What is a Burger King fry? I don't know. Weren't they the ones that eventually had to go to chicken? They're like, we can't make a real fry. Let's go chicken fries. They made chicken fries. But in the year 2022, I don't know which Burger King fry is happening right now.

No, me neither. Because I will not go to your establishment. Here's what I know. Here's what I know. Make a decision. What is the fry? Whichever fry they have right now, it's going to be delicious. It'll be okay.

Well, it's a French fry. Yeah, but there's better fries. I agree. It's on my list, but it's like the last one. There's better fries. I agree. It's on my list, but it's like the last one. It really took the turn for me of like, I actually stopped going to Burger King because they were so hyped about this new fry.

It was like Mr. Potato Head. So this must have been the Toy Story era. Like Mr. Potato Head was a mascot for them of selling their new fry. And I stopped. That's awful. I stopped. that's really bad like the mascot for eating potatoes is the mr potato i'm just telling you what i remember man this was the missus all right continue on i did not know that they were so cutthroat over there burking.

But I stopped going. And they've reinvented their fry about 52 times since that point. And you never forgave them. Oh, no. I never forget when a fast food place changes their fries. Wendy's put you on blast, even though the new ones are all right. The old ones are better. This is an underrated fry.

This place, like, it definitely has its champions. Don't get me wrong, but at least to me, this one just always flies under the radar, and yet this place always delivers with all aspects of their food, especially their ketchup.

I don't know what this place does that is – I've never heard about a place before. They just do something special with the ketchup? I don't know if we're in line, but what a burger. Yep. Oh, they do. See? They do something with their regular ketchup, and they have a spicy ketchup.

Their fancy ketchup, I don't know what is different about theirs. It does have a different taste. It is the best of the fast food ketchup. So I'm not saying I'm drafting their ketchup, but that's part of the Whataburger. People say that about McDonald's Coke. Yes. That it's completely different than everywhere else. McDonald's has delicious Coke, but part of the Whataburger French fry experience is like,

do you want ketchup? You're like, don't ask stupid questions. I'm at Whataburger. Of course I want ketchup. How many dozen ketchups do I want? Wow. Oh. But I never end up there.

And it's a delightful ketchup. We got to do best fast food burgers at some point. Well, we probably should. I'm going to go with a little under the radar pick as well to close out. Okay. Look, they're just great crinkle cut fries. That's Del Taco. Del Taco's crinkle cut fries.

I'm going to go back to my final turn though. Wait, you didn't do both picks? I was about to jump in, man, but I didn't know if you were playing the game or what. I'm going to steal it. Please. I don't have a choice. Yeah, the rules are written for you, Mike.

You have the floor. Del Taco fries. Oh, what a great pick, Mike. Those are so good. Those crinkle cut fries. Absolutely. Pay attention, dummy. Oh, I hope that was Andy's end of his list.

He has nothing. You just... You can check the tape. I started peeking into the camera. I'm looking into the audience. They know what's about to happen. Oh, yes. You talk so dang long about the Whataburger ketchup. I thought you made both picks.

Oh, man. All right. Del Taco. Good pick, Mike. I probably would not have taken them, but rules are rules. Did you just snort?

Yes, I did, and that was on accident. As opposed to an on-purpose snort. Nobody's ever snorted on purpose. Yeah, probably. So I get theorted on purpose. Yeah, probably true. So I get the... Now I don't know where to go.

Because I got a pick, but I'm picking the one I literally put behind this one. I'll go Raising Cane's crinkle cut. Okay. I'll take the other crinkle cut fries. What's ironic is I'm... Was it my pick even? Yep. I don't know if it was my pick.

No, you were good. I'm guessing... The my pick even? I don't know if it was my pick. No, you were good. I'm guessing... It's the second time this happened. I'm guessing that if you would let him go, the Razor Canes would have been in front of Del Taco for Mike originally. Yes, it would have. All right. You might have lucked out here.

The thing about crinkle cut fries is... There is one more crinkle you could pick and do a complete fourth round crinkle. Oh, yeah. Fourth round crinkle. I am not a fan of crinkle cut fries. They are the worst of crinkle cut fries. They are the worst of all of the fries.

Listen, you got real serious for a moment. I am not. Here's the thing about crinkle cut fries. Only one person, only one business, there's only one business that produces them. Because they're all exactly the same.

They do seem the same. Yeah. If you have a crinkle cut fry, I know what it is. Yeah. It was from a frozen bag of Ore-Ida. Yes. There's one more. I'm just saying.

And I will not take it. I will rise above. What shoestring did you find? Jason, I already went ahead and put your final pick in the doc oh you did yeah i got a handle for you let's see what oh he did uh i had oh gross he's got he put this is what he wrote garbage trash fries is what he wrote doo-doo cock-a-doo-doo fries which which is sweet potato fries. Those literally are made for the garbage can. I cannot stand that mushy nonsense.

That's your healthy fry. Not my healthy fry, Mike. If you are honestly trying to find a French fry, you're like, this just is not as bad for me. It's the sweet potato fry. Now, they taste terrible. I like them I wish I wish the texture is also terrible

I wish so much that I liked them I can see if you hate any type of softer fry and you mix that with a flavor you don't like that's gotta be hell on earth people are always like no this one's really crispy no it's not

you wouldn't know every time I. It's a sweet potato. You wouldn't know. Every time I give you a good sweet potato fry, you throw it across the room. It's true. He's like, I'll try this one. And then he throws it right at the trash can. It's a good gag, even at restaurants. All right.

Well, only at restaurants. We don't really do that at home a lot. Oh, my goodness. You made some sweet potatoes. All right. Here we go. My last right, here we go. My last pick, going unconventional. Unconventional?

Yeah. Sonic Tots. Okay. I wasn't sure if that was going to be allowed because that's a- No, that's not allowed. That's a tater tot. I was trying to sneak it in there with the fork. No way do you get a little tot at the end.

They're so good, though. Can I just at least give them a shout out? You can get on a soapbox for tots, bro. Tater tots might be better than french fries. Ooh, that's a hot take. They travel better. If you're a door dasher or a Postmates person, they travel better than french fries. That's a hot take.

You know me by now. I'm a crispy fry guy. And it's basically just more surface area to crisp up. And I love me some tops. That means you must love some like McDonald's hash browns. Oh, it's so good. Because of that surface area. Because it's a tater tot.

It's just flat. It's just whiter. All right. Well, then I'm running low. You want the last crinkle? I do really actually like Wendy's new fries. They are good. I think they are actually outstanding.

So you're picking them. But I'm not picking them. I'm going a little unconventional. Cheeseburger. Loaded baked potato. Big Mac. I'm going with the Taco Bell nacho fries. Okay, which I have still to this day.

Are those potatoes? Never had. But they are fries, right? They're fries. They are seasoned with like a chili powder type of. But they're actual potatoes? They're actual. Oh, I've never had them.

Potatoes. Actual fries. I thought they might have been just like. They're usually like limited time. Made from Doritos or something. I mean, they taste like it. They are delicious. But no, they taste like it. They are delicious.

But no, they are real potatoes. Well, maybe I got to give them a go. I would recommend it. So yeah, that completes my list. But it wasn't your pick. It was my pick. No? No? Culver's makes another crinkle cut.

Yeah. It tastes just like the Raising Cane's and just like the Del Taco one. I like the Del Taco fries. I do like them. And they come in a cup, which to me, I like them coming in a cup. That is another good thing about the Five Guys. Cups are better because

the worst part of McDonald's fries is that their fries don't always stand up. Like the container. Just make a container that stands. There's no chance, none, that I'm not driving through someplace, maybe more than one place for fries on the way home. I am 100% planning a drive-thru. Today's episode is brought to you by Big Fry.

Wow, those are- By diarrhea. Al and Judge, did you guys have any other fries we left out that are your favorites? Sweet potato fries. Yeah, I genuinely really like sweet potato fries. I'm glad I asked. Red Robin actually has a good sweet potato fry. Oh, imagine getting a sweet potato fry at a place with the best fries on earth.

But they're bottomless. I get a basket of each. Then I go to town. Do they let you rotate on one tab? You can go back and forth? I order two orders. One regular and one. But then I can keep refilling both.

That's a good move. That's a bad move because you're filling your belly with garbage when you could be filling it with the good stuff. Get out of here. All right. Here we go. What did we learn today? I learned that Al Borland is not my friend. Because of Liar Liar, I used to think of him as a really-

What a disappointing performance by us. I am really upset because it wasn't even a thing. If I'm not mistaken, the last time we did this, it was a first round loss as well. Make the hard ones at the end. Do a better job. I can't believe we failed again. There's three of us. Oh, man.

This is impossible. Rump-ologist. Yeah. That's what you learned? I've got two words for you. Rump-ologist. Yeah. It talks about the liar, liar, and that's what I learned.

A rump-ologist is a real thing. And I learned Jason doesn't really care for crinkle cup fries. All right? No, I don't. No, he doesn't. All right. That'll do it't. No, he doesn't. All right, that'll do it for today's Spitballers podcast. Join the spit.com if you want to support the show.

Send us in your draft ideas, segment ideas. Make fun of us. Anything you want to do, join the spit.com. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com. We'll see you next time.