Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Seedless Beef & Things We Miss From Our Childhood - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: January 4, 2024

Spit Hit for January 4th, 2024: Time for the spitwads to weigh in. It is Jason/Andy vs. Mike in a heated debate on selflessness with selfish motivation. We also discuss things like when to throw away a pair of underwear, stealing food, and trying to figure out someone’s name you’ve forgotten. We close it down with a draft of things we miss from our childhood. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. This scat brought to you by the Atari 2600. The boop boop. Oh, man. There are... I don't know. I don't know what to say about that scat. Other than it... I don't think you need to, man. There are, I don't know. I don't know what to say about that scat other than it.

I don't think you need to, man. Yeah, it came from nothingness, you know? And there's something original about nothingness. Sure. When we do the scat, it has to come out. Like, you have to say something. Yeah, I mean, look, when a great artist sits down at a blank canvas it comes from nowhere yeah yeah i i agree and just like that work of art those great artists that scat just

stands on its own yeah right you just take it in yeah the gallery of scats if you ever visited it it's a can we get someone hooked that up in the metaverse, just like the Spitballers, all of Scats, and you can walk up to them and enjoy them? Yeah, there's a lot of them. All right. How many do we have? About 202. Okay.

Actually, we didn't start the Scat until... No, I think it started around like 30 or something like that. Al Borland in the house. What's up, Spitwads? Episode 202, is that right? My goodness. My goodness. Would you rather rather that's a great question and a draft today that is uh what are we doing things we miss from our childhood yeah okay

we're just looking back a little bit of nostalgia yes because the doc says favorite pies so i wasn't sure if we were driving you really mine says uh right thing things we miss from our childhood we'll do pies soon enough we just did a chocolate related draft and ironically chocolate pie would be on that draft as well so we need to space the food drafts i was curious about that we did the chocolate draft and no one took a chocolate pie and then i was thinking do people really listen eat pies? Chocolate pudding pie. It's just a pie crust, and then they put chocolate pudding in there? That's not a pie.

This is my point. Let's get into it. Pudding and a pie crust. The chocolate pudding pie with? You have whipped cream on top of it. All right, now it's a pie. Wait, wait, wait. The right, now it's a pie. Oh, so that way, wait, wait, wait, wait. The whipped cream turns it into a pie?

Well, yeah, because before it was just a pudding bowl. I mean, you've got to have both sides of a crust, right? Like a pie crust on bottom and then a topper for it to be a pie. Otherwise, it's just pudding in a bowl. I believe Andy was saying that there is pie crust. I see what you're saying. Although, technically, a pudding gets that film on top. Otherwise, it's just pudding in a bowl. I believe Andy was saying that there is pie crust. I see what you're saying. Although, technically, a pudding gets that film on top. Oh, it's so gross.

Stop talking about that. So that could count as the other side of the... It's so nasty. But anyways, a chocolate pudding pie is unbelievably good. Now, that's different than a chocolate silk pie, right? They're very... Why would you eat silk? They're a little bit more similar.

Not actually made of fabric, Mike. A chocolate silk pie is more rich, but some of the silk pies that you order from a village in can be pudding-y. Man, this is a world I've never been in. All right. But you're right. None of us drafted them.

So we are going to get started. Would you rather i watched uh al borland changing the the show doc live as i was reading the favorite pie thing too interesting twitter question would you rather trust someone and regret it or not trust someone and regret it okay someone explain this to me so we are living in regret either way so like basically you're saying hey uh uh bob pick me up from the airport and then bob does not show up or you you feel like bob's not going to pick you up so you don't even bother to ask them and then later on it's this whole ordeal of i'm your friend why would you you you didn't ask me i thought you trusted me now on on a simpler on a on a simpler

example than the airport yes think about this someone says you know you're you're you're standing in front of a roulette table okay and they say put 20 on 11 and you say no i don't i don't trust you you put it somewhere else and then you say, no, I don't trust you. You put it somewhere else, and then you regret it because it hits 11. But then... Or... So the simpler thing is to go to this game of chance that is like... No, I get it.

Because you're saying that if you do trust them and it doesn't hit 11, then you regret trusting them. Exactly right. But you can't trust someone on an intuition of pure luck. Listen, this was... I had an answer pretty quick. I've got real life possibilities here. The answer is to not trust someone and regret it.

Of course it is. Because that leaves you in a world of what if, or if you don't trust them and you regret it, maybe they were trustworthy. I feel like that's a world of optimism more than the one where you trust them and you regret it, and they were trustworthy. I feel like that's a world of optimism more than the one where you trust them and you regret it and then you're just sad. Well, you also have someone else's feelings

to take into account here. When you don't trust someone, it's not just you living in your own bubble. That other person might know they did not trust me. So now you've hurt someone's feelings, you've let someone down, and then it was all for naught. Because were wrong because you regret it yeah like uh al saying you know advice right if you get advice from a friend would you rather get advice that's not trustworthy and

then regret it man advice is so tricky because the person like well i think i regret this question here's what i would do if i were in your shoes like but you're not in my shoes so you are this in it you're just a bystander who has absolutely no skin in this decision okay okay let's let's trust no one children let's detour for a second help me understand humanity. Why? Because that's what we're here for. You've come to the right place. Because I noticed this with everybody. And I don't think that many people don't live in this world. But why do we like giving advice so much? And that can go from the simplest thing.

Like if you know somebody that's an electrician. Right. Or is a dentist. Or is a great whatever. why do you want to tell everybody so much and why do you want to give advice to people so much and i'm not saying mike you i'm saying human beings i'm not electrician why do we like being the source of information so much we like receiving glory yes i mean this is it it's it's ugly to say out loud but we all know the truth yeah we all want that affirmation want to be recognized for my skills don't we just want to

help people not at all no we do not this isn't about you getting a good electrician this is about you thanking me for what a great electric i did such a great job on your electricity work because of my reference and now thank me with hundreds of dollars. That's the reward you're looking for? Every time you refer a dentist, you want like a big kickback? You guys don't have that big affiliate program? Actually, you know what? I'm selling my dentist on every quarter.

Hold on a second, because this is a great opportunity to tell the famous Mike story of when you think you're giving somebody something, but you're actually in it for yourself. Oh, are we going to the New York beds? We're going to the New York hotel. Oh, fantastic. Please tell this story. Which essentially in the early days of the podcast, Fantasy Footballers, we were on a very tight budget.

Yes. And the idea of us having separate rooms at a hotel, it was not going to happen. We were going to just find a way to make it work, and that could be different room configurations. But the three of us, one hotel room, a couple of queens. No. A couple of twins.

No, they were not twins. They were queens. They were foals. This is a New York City budget these were not twins. They were queens. They were foals. This is a New York City budget hotel room. I think they were queens. I 100% promise they were not queens. Because I have no problem. Sharing a queen?

You can share a queen. There's definitely enough room. These were two foals. Neither here nor there. Well, it's an important detail because to have two grown men on a foal. You could do it. Of course you can. But that is. No, that's not important detail because to have two grown men on a full, you could do it. Of course you can, but that is- No, that's not-

That's tight. That's real tight. The reason I say it's unimportant is because the truth is somebody was going to have to make a choice. Yes. And to either share a full or someone was going to sleep on the floor on a pallet. Right. That's fair. someone was going to sleep on the floor on a pallet. Right. And my friend Mike, who many of you know, he was just like, I don't mind.

I'm going to sleep. And so he slept in between the two foals. And Jason and I had the luxury of being on the beds. Yeah, right away. He said, I'll just take the floor. It was really quick. Yeah, it was just like, boom, bam, I'll take the floor. I was like, okay.

And what were you thinking at the moment? Honest to goodness, in that moment, genuinely, I was thinking, I can share a bed. I'll be willing. But Mike was like, I'll take the floor. So it was like, okey dokey. Yeah, so that was cool. And then what else happened?

Well, then as time went on, we- The situation arose again. Yeah, the situation arose again. It did. What was the specifics of that situation? Mike, you're the one with the memory. We were in Dallas. We went to a hotel.

There was, I don't remember the complete bed situation. If it was like- It was two queens. Was it two queens? It was. Okay, so there was two queen beds, and I said, oh, well, there's the two queen beds. I slept on the floor in New York, so I'm taking my own bed. That's right.

Yeah. That's very similar to that. Yeah. Right. Yeah. He came in and said, well, I get my own. Yeah. Because without us asking you to do anything in the last time, you laid on the floor of

your own volition and then completely claimed it the next time around. As though it was a down payment on the eventual solo bet. Yeah. I think it's hard to word this in a poll. It's getting a little hazy in the old memory banks now after seven years. No, it's fantastic because we've told this story so many times. And every single time, you two are completely aligned. But every person you tell the story to goes,

well, of course he got the single bed. He slept on the floor multiple nights in New York. The problem wasn't that you would have gotten a single bed. I think left to our own devices, we would have gone to a healthy decision, to be fair about it. Yes. The problem had nothing to do with the end result. Is that fair?

The problem had to do with how quickly you had apparently made a transaction with us that we did not agree that we had not negotiated with our lawyers right no no lawyers have been involved you've heard this story al right just recently yeah recently like not just now no like a couple weeks ago like two weeks ago i was told this oh Oh, were you? Yeah, and don't ask him. Where do you stand on this story, Al? I sided with Mike on this.

I'm not surprised. No, we got one more fellow in here. We got Brooksy. Brooksy, where would you have landed in this discussion? Yeah, I would have sided with Mike on that one. It's nuanced. There is no nuance. There is nuance.

There is nuance here because the point wasn't that Mike was going to get. We would have given Mike a bed. We totally would have given Mike a bed. That is not. The question is not did Mike deserve a bed by himself. Exactly. The question was is he allowed to universally dictate that when he was the only one making the choice the first time thank you you made both choices for all three of us yeah keem yeah all right um i'm gonna move on sydney

from patreon we'll bring this up again in one year put it in the calendar uh what is the best no no we gotta go back because like in one of these instances i'm sleeping on a hardwood floor on a blanket. And the other one, you two shared a queen bed. Did we? Yes. Did we share? Yes. That might have been the worst night of sleep of my life. Okay, so for a queen bed.

And this guy's over here. Well, you should have just shared the full with me. Get out of here. Nonsense. We'll fight this till the end of days. Oh man. Yeah. It just,

it made the first choice completely selfish. That's how we felt. Oh sure. Yeah. In hindsight, we didn't realize that it was a transaction, right? It wasn't a selfless move.

It was a, you did it so you could cash in and I slept on the floor. But did you do it could cash in. And I slept on the floor. But did you do it to cash in later? At the time, no. At the time, it was somebody has to make this, and I'm the selfish one sleeping on the floor. How dare I? Thank you.

Now we're getting to the- I apologize. Thank you. I apologize. I made that decision. I think now everyone can see Mike was the selfish one here. He admitted it. Mitch from Twitter, would you rather never be able to wear shorts again

or always have to keep your house five degrees warmer than your current average? Five degrees? Oh, my word. This is not a question that's appropriate for me. What do you keep your house at? Lately? In the summer. I just keep going down a degree. Like every six months or so, I'm like, I could go a little colder.

How cold do you – actually, I shouldn't ask that because I've been to your house during one of your cold spells. Yeah. And I've had to change it. I mean, secretly. So cold. So cold. And we keep had to change it. I mean, secretly. So cold. So cold. And we keep our house real cold. We keep it so cold when my parents come over, my mom brings a jacket.

Like, it's that cold. Wow. But Jason's house is what I think the South Pole must be like. I'm rocking a 71 degrees on that thermostat. Okay, so you have not. 71? Yeah, that's not in the 60s. I thought you were talking 68.

71's still quite cold still you're 68 for parties aren't you oh i'll turn it down to whatever it can go down a party is a different circumstance so what do you keep your house at in the summer andy 74 75 yeah mine's at 74 after we got the solar yeah i was like and i'm taking advantage of this i don't know if our audience really understands. 74 feels like 95. Not only that, but when you cool your house to 74 in Arizona, that's about a $10,000 a month bill. This thing is running nonstop.

Every degree here is so much money. They actually make you swipe the card when you move the degree down. Yeah. You've got to get a line of credit. They've got your social before you can get down past 75. So it's one of those things where the rest of the country, maybe you're like heating it to 70. It's a totally different paradigm. Yeah.

In fact, it's funny because we're so AC pool. That's all you do in the summertime when my wife moved out here she was colder in arizona than she was back in pennsylvania because of how cold every restaurant yeah and room and everything was with the ac um so now in this situation i would have to move the temperature to a completely unlivable 76 degrees. You set yourself up well for this one. I mean, but genuinely. But you have to wear pants outside during the summer. No, no, no.

Or if he moves it up five degrees, he's fine. He can wear shorts. Right. But that's what I'm saying. The other choice is like. I wish I didn't have to wear shorts. You wish you could wear pants. If I could wear sweatpants every day of my life, I'm doing all right.

Why haven't we figured out the technology? No. Well, number one, they're called sweatpants. Fair. Not made for the heat. No, but why can't you wear a pair of pants that's much more like netting? Those are called fishnets. Not that much like netting. Somewhere in called fishnets? Not that much like netting.

Somewhere in between. It's really a statement piece if you walk out the streets of Arizona with fishnets. No, but like JNCO-style fishnets, like a real loose... But it's thin? Like a fish net that you wear. Made out of denim?

Yeah. I don't know why we don't have pants that can be air conditioned. I'm going to wear the pants. That's the key here. We need air conditioned pants. Okay. I am in on that. Where do you put the compressor?

You got to have a backpack. Yeah. I can't survive in five degrees hotter. I really can't. Hold on. In my house. Would you commit to wearing a backpack? If you had air-conditioned clothes?

If you had air-conditioned pants. No, because we could technically have that now. Just wear a spacesuit everywhere. Those are temperature-controlled. That's too heavy. Wait, spacesuits are temperature-controlled? Now, I'm not saying that it is. I know that they're temperature-controlled in the sense that you can go out in space

and you're not freezing. Right. But they're not regulated to, like, I've got it at exactly 74 degrees. They're going to be hot as your body inside. No, they regulate. Just insulated. They regulate that. There's at least fans going on in there.

For real? It's got to be something. Yeah. Oh, we got to look this up. I don't believe that for a second. No, I'd make a strong bet on that one. Like, you don't want to be chilly or sweaty in there. Chilled water.

I'll find me the information. We already got it. Go ahead and read it out. We got it already? He's fast. It says, chilled water flows through the tubes near the space walker's skin to regulate body temperature and to remove extra heat during the space walk, which typically lasts multiple hours.

Vents in the garment draw sweat away from the astronaut's body and help with circulation inside the space suit. That's incredible. It's like liquid cooling in a computer. Can you buy them? So NASA. Welcome to Arizona. Just get a street clothes line going.

I mean, this is ridiculous. I think I could do that. I think I could walk down the street in an astronaut. How many people are in space at one time? Like a dozen? Probably less. I mean, let's focus. We got eight billion people here

we never even and we need we need air we need air-conditioned pants why it seems like we really cooled it on the going to space stuff well there is a how many people are in space right now. Okay. What's the answer. So this I'm guessing six. Okay. Mike what's your guess. I'll go. I'm going to go nine. It is 10.

Oh yes. What are their names and where are they. Caleb Baron. What. Thomas Massey says who they are and what are they all on the space. They're in one spot. Yeah. Are they hanging out.

I don't know. All it is is names and total. That's all I have. Okay. That's just where we are. We're like, oh, that domain name can't possibly be lying. I will take that. Yeah, you're right.

That's where I could go throw a how many people in space right now dot com, and I just throw up a number. WasMikeSelfish.com. Go there. Yes. Yes. Dot com. It's the old school trick where like you click on the button and it just keeps moving around. Right.

That's right. OK. I'm going with the. Oh, there was a question. I think I can never wear shorts again because of the fact in Arizona you're really not trying to be outside on purpose during a time you need to wear shorts. You're not doing it on purpose. It's from my car

to Target and back. I mean, that's... I hate wearing pants. I hate it so much. Like a pair of jeans... Even fishnets? It's been a while. I hate it, but I absolutely have to take this. I can't be

unhappy for the majority of all of my life, which would be indoors in too hot. You guys ever worn velvet? No. I can't say as I have. I mean, maybe. Are we missing out on something there?

Is it cool? Not in Arizona. It's pretty warm, right? Yeah. What about silk? You ever worn a silk pant? Yes. Those are heavy too, though, right?

No, no, no. Very light. Silk boxers? Very smooth. Yeah, baby. Silk boxers are a problem. I'm out of the silk boxers. They're just way too smooth.

Oh, they're great. They can't stay on. Right. There is elastic in the band. Plus, you try to get into bed, you slide right off. Yeah, exactly. What were you talking about? Air conditioning.

Okay, we'll move on. Mike, are you choosing the shorts one or what are you doing? You're happy wearing pants. Yeah, but five degrees. Five degrees is five degrees too many. That's what I mean. And here's a problem. Once you adapt to the lower temperature,

because I used to be a 78 degree in the summer person. Yeah, there's an adaptation. And it just slowly started ticking down. All right, let's poll the producers here. That's what I'm talking about. There's no cheat. You can't go back up. Like 74 was always great.

But then I was like a little warm. And I was like, once I went to 73, I was like, oh, this is so much better. And then the first degree, it's free. Yeah. Yeah. The first degree is free. What's funny is that's true, but what I don't understand is before you had the taste, right? You're in a 78-degree house.

You're not sweating everywhere. Then you have the taste. Then you're in like a 76-degree house. You're sweating all over the place. So your body's adapting. The problem that I've had is if you- It is like a 76 degree house you're sweating all over the place so your body's adapting the problem that i've had is if it is like a drug if you do this timeline like if it was you know just a graphed out on a chart my tolerance there's also my heat tolerance there's also a body weight issue that keeps rising over time so i think that plays part it's like a bmi chart it crosses over

like we gotta graph this out they should tell you at the doctor what temperature you should live in yeah well you're good for 79 there you're almost 3 bills so you're gonna need to crank that thing down to 70 we got a 68 degreeer alright deuces

they turn your room down at the doctor's office deuces what's your temperature at your house on average? 77. Okay. Oh, you monster. Yeah, I'm 77 or 78. Yeah. Yeah.

And now do you- Stay there as long as you can. I remember those days. Do not experiment with the lower temperatures. Don't push that down button. Now, I'm guessing, now are you both very happy with your lives? Yep. Yes. So this is, so is this, I went to 77 because I'm guessing, now, are you both very happy with your lives? Yep. Yes.

So, is this, I went to 77 because I'm happy, or I went to 77 because I know if I go lower, it's going to cost me money? That's where I'm comfortable. You're comfortable enough between money, heat, balance. That's what you're finding. Yeah, I'd go cooler if I... If you could afford it? If I could afford it.

Okay. All right. All right. I'm going to need a raise. Got to get that solar, man. Yeah. it yeah i'd go cooler if i if you could afford it if i could afford it all right all right i'm gonna need a raise gotta get that solar man yeah yeah yeah okay i was i was waiting for him i've got it i i just moved my old house had it but no it's not okay earth hater uh hickory pete from patreon oh thank you for your support would you rather only be able to eat the foods you can steal or the foods you can grow? Ooh. Oh, man. I can't grow a steak.

What's the most stealable food? Like, on an average day, I think I could get out with, you could get free fruit, right? It seems like it. I feel like you could just, like, even be. How much fruit can you eat in the store? You can eat. That's what I was going to say. You just eat it right there.

Yeah. You just stand there. I can just eat it right there. Yeah. You just stand there. I'm just checking it out. Or just grab a bag of grapes, walk around, snacking on them. Then you make the face like, I don't actually need anything here. No, you do that at the register. No, you fill it in the cart. No, you put it all in the cart.

Then you leave the cart in the middle of the store. That's a good move. I was just saying, when you do the move at the register, you're like, I'm not going to get this. Can you put these away? As you're chewing? Just put the empty bag. It's all stems. Yeah, just, I don't want this anymore.

We're all just talking about grapes. All you got to do is eat grapes at the grocery store. Well, grapes are very good. An apple, that's enough. Anybody been bold enough to chomp on an apple in the middle of the store? I'm sure there's someone that's done that. but why would you steal fruit when you can grow fruit you know in this question i'll grow some crap fruit there's no way i'm growing good fruit you could grow i mean obviously it would take a long time if you're talking about like an apple and you got to have a tree but like

we grow great oranges in arizona and you could grow them just fine like everybody there's so many people out here that have, you get reverse scurvy. I got, I got a question, Jay. Okay. How do we grow seedless oranges?

Oh man. Cause I don't know. This is not a trap question. No, I was thinking about this. They make seedless. So here's, well,

yes, well, at least the little, the Clementines here. Oh yeah. What blew my mind. And this is last night. So this is fresh. John Hammond. Well, at least the little, the Clementines. Here's what blew my mind. And this is last night. So this is fresh.

John Hammond. Fresh. I open my refrigerator up. I look in the fruit drawer and I see. Frigerator set at 71 as well. I see a bag of seedless lemons, which. Never heard of that. I never heard of that. i didn't know that was

a thing i you know seedless watermelons but a little unnecessary no it does not and once i found out i can see this once i found out that there are seedless lemons i am so angry at every restaurant in the world for using seeded lemons in my water your Because I hate drinking seeds. Call me crazy. It's one of your big things. It is. But I did have that same thought process with you, Mike. How do you

grow the next one? Okay, I can make the first one, but my knowledge of science says I need that seed to make the next one. That's where those seed banks come in, right? Those big, robust, secret. Well, like the one in the Arctic or whatever that has a seed for everything just in case.

Yeah, you got to get the seed, the OG. So essentially what's happening is they are making, and by they I mean the scientists. Right. They are making infertile plants. Okay. And they just keep making more that cannot reproduce. I told you it was like John Hammond. This is Jurassic Park all over again.

But you can do that. But with oranges. You can do that from the seeded. You just go in there and do some DNA splicing. Here's one of the problems. I don't know where you source this. Do you have a good source on this one, Al? It's from Gardenguides.com.

That's not a good source. In the United States, oranges are considered to be seedless if they have from zero to six seeds. Well, that's dumb. Okay. Now, from zero, yeah. That's according to Purdue University's horticulture and landscape okay now we're talking now we're talking the big boys what do what are these standards here six zero to six i feel like if there's how many wedges are in an average orange eight

if ah seedless yeah i mean if if there's seeds in it it should be illegal to call it seedless. It should be called lightly seeded. Lightly seeded. Less seeds. Now with fewer seeds. I mean, seedless oranges can't have seeds or you're a liar. What if they aren't growing them and there's just a big factory where they're pulling them out? Oh, and they're like back together. Yeah.

There's people doing it. Orange surgeries happening all around us and we just didn't know that's crazy it seems like a waste of time yeah but it's a it's a fine art removing the seeds yeah you gotta have steady hands um now this was a question i know was stealing food would you rather only be able to eat the foods you can steal or foods that you can grow and i know you're more of a garden guy you run that website garden garden guides dot net yeah uh gardens only dot com um the uh the reality here is I cannot, I can no longer eat meat if I can only eat what I grow. Okay.

Because as much as I love eating meat, I could be a carnivore. I couldn't do the raise and kill my food. I just couldn't. You can't handle it? No, I'm a big baby. Yeah. I could never do i'm with jason on this but do they because it's the question specifically says grow you are not

growing animals you're raising animals yeah you're not growing them they don't have seeds they're seedless they do grow though seedless beef zero to six seeds i think i could steal food if i was a traveler because i could i mean you could probably live your entire life from one restaurant to the next where i was going absolutely right i'm never stealing from a grocery store i'm going i'm dining and dashing and i'm doing and i'm doing the same line at every restaurant for my entire life. I left something in the car. I'll be right back. Oh, it's your wallet.

Yeah. I left my wallet in the car. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be right back. My wallet's in the car. Has anyone ever said that line and then just started running? Like, if your intention is to steal the food in the first place. Like, you don't have to say a word.

You can just get up when the waiter is gone and sneak out. But to be like, oh, I need to get my wallet. I left my wallet in the car. Just pushing people out the way. There's always a waiter holding a tray at that point. 660. I'll be right back. I just got to grab it.

And it just keeps escalating out the window. I forgot it at home. Roll down the window from your car. I'll be right back. It wasn't in here. Peel out. It wasn't in here. Peel out. We got to make a YouTube video of this.

Nobody's pursuing these people, right? A diamond dash? No. Everyone at the restaurant's going, okay, just go, man. It was a burger. You're fine. 660,000 restaurants in the United States. So you'd be fine.

I'm stealing my food. But don't steal things, kids. Stealing my food? What was the name? Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin.

Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin.

Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. I'm laughing at you guys. You guys are going. I'm gone, man. I really enjoyed that. You guys are going. I'm gone, man.

I really enjoyed that. You're crying. Turn it down to 71. We're going to need to crank that air down. It is hot in here. All right. We're going to move on. That's a great question i am sweating i am so hot yeah i'm warm uh luke from the website at what point do you decide it's officially time to throw away a pair of underwear okay that's an easy question okay it might be different for each of us yeah i mean

if we're getting honest yeah let's get into it okay i am you're so sweaty that's a good one um so i know exactly when i throw my underwear away and is it it's I wear underwear just around the house oftentimes okay you know just and I'll what about in public this is important to it oh yeah I'm saying you know when I'm just in underwear whatever if I sit down and it's whoops cold if it's too cold when I sit I know that the time has come to put those in the garbage. So it's a hole. It is a well-placed hole. But it's a hole only discovered by the temperature of your couch.

That is correct. You don't get alerted? You know, it's like you should see that putting them on, but I don't always catch it. Now, the question about the placement of the hole then. Like, because you could feel the hole in the undies, like the side of the leg right let's like outside five that's fine you could keep that okay you're rolling keep that hole if it doesn't freeze you sitting on a cold piece of furniture okay you can keep it i can't really think of a situation where i'm throwing

underwear out i mean it's not for cleanliness it It's not. Oh, no, no, no. You can wash and use underwear a kajillion times. I mean, unless it's fundamentally structurally damaged, it's going to be worn forever. Now, there is. Oh, wait, there's one other way. Yeah, and that's shrinking. Yeah. Or the opposite, which is you growing. Like, am I outgrowing?

They're really one and the same. If I outgrow, that's never happened? It's never happened to me. I have shrunk so many clothes. My dryer is never happened. It's never happened to me. I've only, I have shrunk so many clothes. My dryer is just outrageous. It's criminal. It's criminal. It keeps just taking all my clothes and shrinking them down.

So over the years, it's gotten rid of like entire wardrobes of shrinking clothes so bad. I've definitely pulled the underwear on in the past and been like, that's struggling. I can't breathe. That's struggling that's that's does it you know you talk about wearing underwear around the house like there's a line like at some point if you're just bulging over areas you gotta get bigger underwear not lose weight you should not bulge over your underwear agreed right yeah mine's just if there's a hole in the crotchal region, I'll get rid of it. Or if there's poop in them. Yeah, that too. I would agree. That makes three of us.

Yep. Not washing a turd in my washing machine, that's for sure. It'll shrink it. Alright, we're going to Sydney. From Patreon, what is the best way to figure out someone's name when you forget it? Bonjour.

You said we were going to Sydney. That's in Australia. Gosh. A joke from another show jackknifed into this one. Okay. Best way to figure out someone's name is the one that comes to my mind is trying to get them introduced to somebody else. So I'll, you know, if I can't remember, I'll be quickly trying to find someone from my party that doesn't know them and then trying to introduce them. And I'll listen.

See, I try to find someone from my party that does know them. And then I ask them. Okay. Yeah. You've asked me many times. I have asked you so many times. I've asked other people about you a few times well that's if you're in a one-on-one situation though okay just us you can't introduce them to anybody we cannot ask someone what is their name what's the best way about going and now we have to presume this isn't the

first or second time you've met because at that point you could break the ice and be like oh i'm so sorry or whatever this is someone that you have to know their name and you can't remember their name sidebar at what point would it ever at what point does it become offensive as a parent if people you know well don't remember your children's names? Do you ever care about that or mix them up? Because I have a real issue a lot of times to just, I don't know my friend's kids' names. If they're over two, I out right i'm learning all the names probably and i don't think you ever need to be so if someone that you knew really well came up to

you like if i if i came over to your house and i couldn't remember your kids names oh yeah it's just one of them oh yeah it would probably just be one because i'd know them but i wouldn't know which one's which you know just you'd be like oh yeah their names are so it's i know that that wouldn't bother me because i'm with you that I, like other people's kids, I'm not with them all the time. It wouldn't bother me. You didn't call that one when they were born. It wouldn't bother me at all, which I don't know what that says.

Like, I think I would be upset if someone didn't know my name, but someone doesn't know their name. I'm like, whatever. You know, don't worry about them. Because, honestly, it's, the problem with forgetting someone's name is it's more on you. I don't think I've ever been asked, I'm so sorry, I can't remember what your name is, and been like, excuse me. Nobody can change.

Good, sir. My name is Mike. How dare you forget my name? Yeah, I get that. I would never be egregiously upset, but it would change the relationship in my mind. If it was somebody that I thought cared about me and they don't know my name. Better you know now. Perhaps.

Leaving a lie. There's been times, I can speak for all three of us, where we have, as a group, met people who have met us many times. Sure. And when they went over and over for five years. Okay, that's fair. They act like this is the first time we've met. Oh, man, that can irk you.

But that's also, I think part of it is. It's a disrespect. It feels like they think this is our first interaction ever. It's not a, shoot i forgot i've got one for you mike that you might not like hit me you uh you decide you're gonna go to a therapist okay on a regular basis okay you spend an hour with them and every time you come in to visit the therapist they're like what's your name again okay wouldn't that be a problem yes because i am paying that money or i pay that person so much money

to know who i am to remember your name and know the intimate details of my life check your chart they remember the deets it's just the name that i just can't place the face right now right uh you've got a problem or something right you're the pyromaniac you got an issue right oh no you're not no that's another guy okay yeah uh the podcaster is that oh yeah okay what if that's the whole reason doctors have charts there's no information on them at all it's just the name and huge font photo yeah it's a mugshot style ah that's frank getting back to the kids names for a second okay i just i know i'm the uh worst speller here uh but sometimes names can get people spell names of kids different ways sure this is where i get in trouble is like i'll be

going to text someone about their kid yeah yeah and i don't know how they spell their kid's name and so then i'm trying to figure out how do i how do i this happens with you like if i'm texting you or your wife you know with my daughter, Alyssa, I don't know. It can be spelled if you want. But I, I, I feel like that's rude. I feel like if I misspell the name of a kid, then that is, you know, sure. Disrespectful. And so then I try to find ways to talk about your child without naming them.

And I feel funny is I've actually met people that get really your child without naming them. And I feel. What's funny is I've actually met people that get really offended if you were to get that wrong. And that's what shocks me is that people could be so upset about something like a misspelling of something like that. Yeah. I mean, that to me, that's on them. Names are very important. I totally get that. But it's like a simple flub, like misspelling someone's name.

Just correct and move on. Yeah, agreed. It's not that big of a deal. Chris from Twitter, is there a phrase you would like to see come into common vernacular when someone farts aloud? Because when people sneeze, it's very common. People will say, bless you, God bless you.

It's polite. Right. Is there a certain phrase or word, maybe, maybe it's just one word, that you think could come into the common vernacular and it would be polite? What if it was, you fart and you say, a haiku. A haiku? Yeah. What if you just, you know, then it feels poetic.

Every time I fart. But how many syllables did you fart? Well. Right. A haiku. I don't did you fart well right a haiku i don't know if i'm in on haiku uh what if it was just a you a scoring system oh you just great and you for you great sex someone's fart from a one to a ten no you're so you're because you don't bless yourself no no you don't sneeze and say, oh, bless me.

Bless me. Although that'd be funny. I think I should maybe start working that in. But does that mean that if I fart, you know, if someone doesn't say bless you, it's kind of rude. Or if I sneeze. You know, so if I fart and someone doesn't score it, is that rude of them? No, not because not everyone's in on the bless you.

I've got two. I want you to vote on these. Okay. One, it's a phrase, heaven's to Betsy. What do you think? Okay. Okay. So you let one fly.

And then someone else. Someone else has to say, heaven's to Betsy. It's got to be a good one, though. A good fart? Yeah, because if it's just like a... Oh's not heavens to betsy the other one is whoopsie daisy oh yeah yeah i mean whoops like a whoopsie daisy whoopsie doozles yeah i was thinking more along the lines of like a like a yippee okay uh and you know like every time because how much greater would that make the normalization of little toots? You know, every time someone toots, yippee!

That's fun. That's like, I want you to fart more now. What about, that's on you. That's too much negativity. Too much negative. Too negative, yeah. That's on you. Yeah, see, that's too sassy.

That came from your butthole. Because the problem is, it's kind of on the nose both literally right of course of course is that you know it's it was on them right right you want to make them feel better how do you make someone feel better that publicly farts we all do it if that's i did it yesterday hit him with like a juicy oh like a real yeah that's a little too sensual. And again, if it's just a... The juice is loose. See? You got to celebrate.

Brooks, what do you say when you're significant and other farts? How do you make her feel better? It doesn't happen. Oh, she's not. I forgot. Women don't fart. Girls don't fart. Or poop.

That's my understanding. That's my understanding. And they glow. They don't fart. Or poop. That's my understanding. That's my understanding. And they glow. They don't sweat. They glow. They don't sweat. They never poop. Look, I'm sorry you're a woman, but you're not allowed to have bodily functions.

That's correct. That's correct. That's what we've learned over time. Any other questions we need to get into, Al? Let's draft. Any other questions we need to get in here, Al? Let's draft. The Spitballers Draft.

Well, today we are going to take a journey back in time and drafting things we miss from our childhood. So some nostalgia, going to be fun. We're old enough to muse about our childhoods. Which I don't know. What's the official age where you're allowed to say back in the day? Is it 20? Maybe. Because if you're 20, you're saying back in the day.

Like under 10. Yeah, that's half a life ago. I think that's fair. If you're 20, you could say back in the day. At what point then can you say back in the day and reference your teens? 30s? I think it's double. I think you've got to be double.

No. You could say, I'm in my 30s. We're under, I mean, some of us are under 40, and I still say back in the day. Yeah, but I feel like you've done that since you were 12. Fair enough. Fair enough. All right, so I have to have the first pick since you were 12. Fair enough. Fair enough. All right, so I have to have the first pick. I don't think that there is a drop-dead 101 here of things you missed from your childhood.

Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, I'm not you. Well, yeah, but you might have a consensus thought. I'm going to go with long summers. Oh, summer break is on my list. Yeah, I mean, as a kid, I mean, Jason and I were just talking about this today. Our kids just start, like for us, our kids just started their summer break. They're back in school in like three weeks.

So we blinked in their summer breaks over. But as a kid, they felt like they were eternal. Yeah, it's going to last forever. I will never have to go back to school, which I eventually do. Yeah, it's going to last forever. I will never have to go back to school, which I eventually do. But, yeah, those three months where when you were the kid and you just had no responsibilities, like, what are you going to do tomorrow? Ride my bike to my friend's house?

And then we will ride bikes at the same time. Long summers and being let out of school for summer was so amazing. Yes, fantastic. On my list, very high up on my list, but my number one pick, we did it. It made it to me. It was mentioned before we were talking about the draft. It is Blockbuster video.

Because there's a few things here, which unfortunately, I get it. It sounds old man and soapboxy of me. But first, the exciting part was you go to, and children out there, Blockbuster was a place where, this is where you had to go if you wanted to rent a new movie or a new video game. And so you would just the excitement of the drive to the store,

knowing where you are going. So like getting that dopamine shot of I'm going to go in, I'm going to pick out from this place that just has everything you want. knowing where you are going so like getting that dopamine shot of i'm gonna go in i'm gonna pick out from this place that's just has everything you want and so like a new movie i can actually play a new video game because when you're a kid there's there was no game pass there wasn't this i get everything instantly it's i have to go to blockbuster video and rent the game and then it may not even be there some other other kid might have to be there. Which means the next time there's even more anticipation.

But it's like that – this is where it's so boxy of me. Go for it because I'm with you. Just that small thing of like having to have the patience and learn. Like I can't actually get this right now. I think that there was some importance to that where i can look back and as a kid being so angry and bummed out that my game wasn't there but now i'm like man having everything at your fingertips right now i don't know that it's necessarily a good thing for humanity where we are headed no because you don't and like you said this this is broader than just being a kid

like you miss it because it was around when we were kids but even as an adult like there are those things where what is it the anticipation makes the result better like yes is it easier to just rent something on on apple tv yes it's much easier and i'm not certain that if you force me to never be able to do that that that's the best choice but the idea of going like i loved walking for movies and then finding something new through the walking around experience and then when you bring it home guess what you gotta make a special time to watch it because you gotta watch it and bring it back like there was something about that you have 48 hours yeah or you pay what me or you pay40 a day or whatever Blockbuster did. Not you?

I didn't go to the college I wanted because of late fees. I turned my videos in late every time, and then that would keep you from going back. Did you also not rewind them? Oh, I never rewind a video. Get out of here. No, I love that pic, and I do wonder about that. Oh, it was the best now i just checked the world's last blockbuster is still and there's a documentary on it it's a good

documentary it is it's fun especially if you're old like us all right i am on the clock man um so i'm gonna go with two that are uh they kind of piggyback off of each of yours. So Andy took the summer break. I'm taking school. Okay. I actually think that, like, I don't love the math class, but there was so much. Big man on campus over here. Yeah, look, I had a lot of fun at school,

but, you know, you have that place where you see all your friends. You have your lunch period. You know know there's so much going on in like your own little world so big yeah it was everything yeah it felt so big it was your whole universe and then you know once once you're done with school it's gone forever and you can't really replicate that like there's nowhere like you got you go to work and you've got you know your interactions here whatever you've got in life but it's just never the same as what school was and so while you know it's funny when you're in school all you want is summer but then by the end of summer like man i miss my friends

i can't wait to for school start let's see my class who am i in class with it was just exciting things yeah the the fact that you were around so many people of your age, that's why it's so hard for grown-ups to make friends. You're like, well, what? I'm not forced to interact with the same people over and over and over, and I can't just go to Target and be like, hey, there. Hey, friend. I'm meeting friends in Target today. You come to Target a lot?

You buying a TV? Yeah, me too. We should be friends. Okay okay that's a good one jason one more pick for you so the the second one that mike uh did was you know something that's gone blockbuster videos better in my old days well i'm gonna go there too because one of the things that i miss in a weird way is when there was no technology and this sounds so crazy. What? So no,

no handheld, like portable technology, no smartphones, no computers. We are the three of us. Do you want to say low tech or no tech or what? What's your answer? What's your pick?

My pick that I wrote down was like no technology. There was a, I mean a TV, I guess is technology, but like the game boy came out when we were very young but less technology yeah sure low technology or whatever you want to word this as but I was talking about this with my son who was recently grounded from electronics oh how long by the way uh like three days okay um and and it was crazy because he he was asking me for recommendations of what can I do?

Yeah. And so I was like, well, you can read and you could draw. That's the best because it's the same for us. It's the same answers, right? We're like, okay, kids. Puzzles. We're going to take a break from the screen. What should we do?

Read? You're like, well, why don't you go read why would i do that i got a phone but this is what's crazy i was talking to my son and i was like here's what's truly insane you go back the last 5 000 years right this is the we're at the first generations ever in the history of humanity that have had electronics to entertain us like ever before that people were fine. People were absolutely fine. You can fill your time with whatever you dreamed of. And now there is nothing to do without electronic.

I guess the first taste of it now that I think about it was cable television, because when you had regular television, if what you wanted to watch wasn't on, it wasn't on. Then you didn't have a TV. Then it was cable and satellite. Some people had satellite where it was like, oh my gosh, you could watch things from other countries. And you'd always have something on, this on-demand idea. But I like that. It's just one of those things that will never get back and we are one of the we're a very small slicers there's literally a few lived half of it a few years

of humanity where we grew up on both sides i had a computer in high school but in in grade school beyond i there were no computers or cell phones or any of that. So we had both as youth, and we're like the only sliver that will ever experience it. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Man, soapboxes. We'll leave them alone. But school and low-tech lifestyle. I like it.

Mike, you're back. Blockbuster video. And? I'm going with, it's funny because now this is something that comes up often on this show as a scourge of all humanity. But back when you were young and when it was yours, a birthday party. Oh, I've got it on my list, man. Why?

Because everyone who comes to that birthday party, number one, they're my friend. We're going to have an incredible time. But number two, every single one of my friends is bringing me presents. Presents! to have an incredible time but number two every single one of my friends is bringing me presents and not just and like we've the the world has now shifted to you know gift cards and money which there's nothing wrong with giving impersonal giving a given a cash it's because nobody cares about non-electronics anymore mike there's no toys people want but every toy every present you got the box was gigantic because it's some action figure in just an absolute oversized box that does not need to be that big but visually impressive yeah and when you would see that table and you'd sit down

after you know just you're at uh you you hit up some good times in the ball pit, and now you just scarf down five slices of pizza. And you look at that table of presents. You're like, oh, they're all for me. I love this pick because this is something I hate. I hate going to kids' birthday parties. I hate it. And they're so, so frequent. But we do it because the kids love it.

Yes. That is so fun for kids to have birthday parties. All right, my next pick, it's back to me. Yep, you're up for two. Is obviously smoking. No, I'm just kidding. Smoking indoors at restaurants. I miss when they said, would you like smoking or non-smoking?

Isn't that funny? Man, these times. And then you sit across the aisle. Yeah. I'll take the section that smells less like yeah I just want a little cancer um no not smoking so I took summer breaks with my first pick I'll take uh no responsibility yeah I'll take no I mean it was just like the things that it's funny because we're adults and we all have kids and the things that your kids get stressed out on.

I was joking today. My son gets stressed out about not posting a YouTube short by a deadline he set in his own head. Oh, man. So he just, you know, that's the level of responsibility you have as a kid. He's like, I got to I got to stay up later tonight. I got to get this posted. And I'm like, you don't got to. Why?

Who's telling you to do this? But no. The algo, Andy. Yeah. The algo. I want the kids to know more about algorithms today than we did. But no responsibility. I mean, you had your half hour of schoolwork.

You rode your bike to your friend's house. It was just. It is the actual 101. Like the actual 101 of being a kid is absolutely the fact that you don't have responsibilities. That you're not needing to make dinner or pay bills or have a job. There's just. That is the best part of being a kid. And then my next pick.

I'm going to go with something to encapsulate another thing lost by our on-demand everything delivered by amazon society the same way that blockbuster video was fun for the anticipation there was that for going and buying things or going to the store and seeing things which we've lost in part because of the loss of malls really oh yeah so malls is my pick they the heyday of my childhood was when malls were everything yep it was an event to go to them you just roam with your friends or hang out there all day long bunches of stores mall life what's insane is we didn't have cell phones. You could just get dropped off at the mall, pick you up at 4. Yeah.

Meet me at the fountain. If I can't get a hold of my kid who's in the mall with me somewhere else for two minutes because he's not answering his phone, it's like, oh my gosh. I am 100% guilty of that phobia of anyone in my family if I call and they don't answer. Okay. Who this person has been smuggled out of the picture and now next call is 9-1-1 i gotta drop what i'm doing and now where's liam neeson now i'm a detective and i have to go find this person it is funny because we went on a cross-country trip and i was you're thinking about no cell phones i was like i'm dependent on this gps

man and i was i was reminding my wife i was like there you and they on this GPS. Oh, man. And I was reminding my wife. I was like, and they still have a few of them on the side of the freeway. What, a map? No, they'd have those call centers. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or not a call center, a call box. Yes. Where if you broke down, you had to walk in one direction until you got to a call box.

And the fact that everybody has cell phones now has just changed that. But, yeah, I'm going to go with malls. And it's back to uh mr mike is back to me i i have two that i really want yeah this is a tough one and i'm not sure where jason is gonna go i have two that i really want no and he gets two picks okay mike so don't screw it up well uh dang it all right i'm gonna go with with this one. It's called eating whatever I want to and suffering no consequences. I'm talking the rum tum tummy. You're not like, oh, God.

Look, if I eat this tonight, what's on my schedule tomorrow? I have to know that there is going to be bathroom accessibility. Or if I eat this tonight, that's 450 extra calories. What do I got to do to work this off when I go to the gym? No, I eat half a pizza and then wash it down with jumbo orange soda. And then I can go run a marathon. And I am perfectly fine. That's such a good pick.

It was on my list as well. What's funny is I have one son that doesn't eat a lot, so we're always trying to encourage him to eat. He is wasting his glory days. Yes, he is. But my wife literally told me, she goes, you know what, I guess nobody grows up and then ends up not eating as much as they need to.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, health-wise, he is fine. It's like once you grow up, it's not like he's going to have that problem. But he's just wasting the metabolism of the youth. I know. He could go talking to his morning lunch and dinner and it wouldn't matter.

Have some candy. All right. That's a good pick, Jason. You said you had two you wanted. Was that one of them? No, that wasn't. I mean, of course, that's one of the things I miss and want. But I still do eat what I want.

And that's a big. It's really the no consequences. The no consequences is the issue. No. First thing, I'm taking Saturday morning cartoons. Oh, baby. Oh, yeah. I loved getting up on.

It's a weekend. That's such a good pick. I didn't even have it on my list. It's so good. It's a weekend. I'm going to pop on the X-Men. I mean, they were just Saturday morning cartoons. Ninja Turtles.

Because like Andy was talking about, you didn't have everything on demand. It was whatever's on TV then. And the wonderful people at these networks decided Saturday morning is for the kids. It's for cartoons. Now as a grown-up, I understand why because it's like, we can sleep in they can just pop on some cartoons they did some good work they did some great work and that was great because the parents would sleep you could just watch infinity cartoons um so that was wonderful and then the last cartoons were invented by the international association of parenting yes uh the last one I'm taking this is no way shape or form as cool or as

big or as wonderful as everything else we've talked about and a bunch of other stuff on my list. But it is a very specific thing that was so amazing and so cool that will never happen again. It still can, but it just doesn't because of technology. It's getting letters in the mail. You dork. Apparently Mike did not ever experience this. You never had a...

Of course. Did you have a pen pal? I had many pen pals. You punched him in the face. Oh my gosh. So you experienced this and you don't... mean the nostalgia of good day after day after day i want that sound clip so bad you open the mail on my board i want to be able to hit that dork um you you open the mailbox hoping you received the you know the next letter and it's

not there and then day after day you go and then because it's three four seven days in a row you got to send the search party because they're gone when you open it and that you know that red envelope that's clearly from a person with handwritten you know a label on the front and it's like yeah randy um and you take it out and you're like, oh, my gosh, it was just such an experience that it took. It's funny because like now you just send an email and you can get a message back. You can send a text. You'll have information back in a second. But it was fun.

I remember one summer I had a girlfriend that went to I mean, it wasn't like real. It was like, you know, kid girlfriend. And she went to California for the summer, and we wrote each other. And so getting these letters. Sure. Oh, my heart. Oh, my heart just couldn't wait. And it was, you know, just never happened again.

Writing, you know, handwritten. And they were all handwritten, the whole letter. Are they in cursive? Heck no. Cursive is for the dogs. You love school, but you hated cursive. i hated the school part of school i hated cursive it's the worst final pick uh wait i'm up yeah you're up all right uh i was i india i thought you were going to take it when you went malls but because there was a very specific part of the mall that was that was this was the best

place you go and you go to the arcade. That's such a good pick. For me and my youth. But unfortunately, it's in the mall. The best part of traveling to me, because I'm with you. I love malls. I was a mall kid. There wasn't one in my backyard.

That's where I spent all my time. When you would travel, and you'd go to the mall, and it was, we got to find the arcade because everyone, everyone had different games. There was some of the big ones that would, you'd expect to be there, but there would be brand new arcade games. And they were so much better than anything that you could play at home. Like you would, you'd wait forever for the Nintendo version of a a game to come out and it would just be crap because the arcade version was so much better so like having the new arcade life the arcade life people and your friends are there the games were just they would blow your mind which you get that

experience at home now but you had to go somewhere to have it happen and it's arcades if we could bring that back i'd be very happy and i'm not making this my pick because i don't even know if it fits as a pick but to go along with that mike having a scarcity of money as a kid for little things sure and i don't mean like we all have scarcity of money even as adults but if you want to go to the arcade right now and you want to play forever you you could do it you could pull it off yes but as a kid you had to dig through the couch yeah or like even buying basketball cards i'd be going to buy one pack and it would take me time to save money for one pack now if i'm an adult i'll just go buy

a box of cards and it's like right it's not as exciting when the scarcity is there which yeah no yeah that's a good point but my final final pick, which I think, you know, sappy, sad, whatever you want to call it. One of the things that I miss from my childhood is essentially potential. Unlimited... Yeah, sure. Pretty sad how it's turned out. I know. Unlimited potential.

Here with us. You did it. Congratulations. As a kid, you could become anything if you in your mind maybe that's not true but in your mind if you're 10 years old and you say hey i want to be a basketball player i want to be an astronaut i want to be a teacher as you grow older there are expiration dates on some of those goals right not? Not a lot of 38-year-olds starting their doctor, you know, to become a doctor. You can. You can.

Not a basketball player, though. But not a basketball player. And so I think as a kid, just the fact that the whole future seemed ahead of you is my final pick. And now look at you. I know. It's all over. No potential. I did have other picks. Never driving anywhere was one of them oh yeah you got

a chauffeur um but that also i thought was kind of like double-edged because then you can't go places unless your parents are driving you i had the uh i don't know if you guys took uh participate in these but like a neighborhood game where just all the kids would get together and you'd play like, you'd play Ditchem in your entire neighborhood. Yeah, I did that on bikes and it was super fun. And it was like this full scale thing that

I can't imagine letting my children do that now. You're like, oh, they're the age that I was definitely doing those things. That is terrifying. First times? Like lots of first times as a kid first times is a great pick uh summer water sports yeah you know playing out here in arizona absolutely yeah that's a good one an athletic body that's something i miss that was great and going you can hand with that. Playing basketball? That was all I did. You can still do that if you wanted to.

Not really. You can't? No, not really. Not really. They would call it basketball, but he wouldn't call it basketball. Oh, no. You're a big body for rebounds. Yeah, that's right. Box him out.

You're a rebound body. He's a rebounder. Yeah, that's right. Box him out. You're a rebound body. He's a rebounder. All right, that is it for the things we missed from our childhood draft. We'd love to hear from all of you on social media. You can find us at SpitballersPod on Twitter if you want to share some of the things that maybe you miss, maybe things we didn't think about. And Instagram.com slash Spitballersers pod spitballers pod.com

oh yeah what did we learn today what did we learn today a lot of good stuff i learned that jason's a dork yeah because he liked letters like everybody yeah it was funny you'd lose a friend back when you're a kid you really lost the friend sure nowadays like if someone moves away you can stay a lot more in contact with them back then it was like i had one best friend in kindergarten wrote me a couple letters i wrote him a couple trail off never heard from him again uh what's his name austin i can't believe you remember that Yeah It meant Austin I don't know who sent the last letter But his name was Austin

But it wasn't me I learned that When you're turning down the thermostat It's a slippery slope And I learned that You can have seeds And be a seedless fruit Which is nonsense

Zero to six And that is the same as zero is what i learned today yeah all right that'll do it for the spitballers thank you for joining us al thank you for everything you do see you next time goodbye thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast to see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.