Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Shark Attacks and Things Old People Do - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

Spit Hit for May 18th, 2023: On today’s episode, we do some foreign currency conversions, discuss being scared 24/7, and living in a world with no tables. We also have the return of ‘Jason Explains’ before diving into another ridiculous edition of ‘Highway To Spell’. We shut down the episode with a draft of things that old people do. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

On today's episode, that's another fantastic spit hit where we're talking about foreign currency conversions. We discuss being scared 24-7 and living in a world with no tables. A great rendition of Jason Explains and, of course, a draft. Things that old people do. We may have made some old people mad in this one. Hey, tell your friends and your family about the podcast. Buckle up and enjoy. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?

It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Let's slam up that poop-a-chop-a-dee-da-la-pow! Oh! Oh! Welcome people in, Andy. Then I have some questions. Formalities aside, welcome into the spit ballers podcast. Perfect. Now that we've done that, I don't know. So when we hit record, uh, we don't

get to see all the fancy graphics. Okay. Like they, oh, they're so fancy. Yeah. The producers, they take care of that i it's magic i have no idea how it gets done but i'm watching so so all i see is jason on our monitors over here and eyes closed eyes closed you're feeling it and then it seemed like almost right before just like right before the scat goes up there there was a mouth closed belch. No, no, no. It wasn't a belch. Well, here's what it was.

My eyes were closed. I grabbed the microphone. I'm feeling it. So I can get into the- And you're telling me you didn't burp into your mouth. No, no, no. What I did was, as my eyes were closed, I was going, I hit my face into the microphone and surprised myself.

It was good. Hopefully there's video of that. Yeah, I don't know if people saw it. So that's something you've never experienced as one who has done the band life. And lucky for you, we have these, I don't know, just windscreens, pop filters. So it's real soft but when you're doing band life and the uh the 57s are out there have you smashed the tooth on oh yeah so many times like you're feeling it your eyes are closed and you go up and you just and you you catch a front

tooth right to the microphone so if you if if ever watching... Which is just metal. If you're ever watching your favorite singer sing, and oh, something's head just jolts real bad, you know it's because it was an SM57 right in the teeth. Wow. Insider information. Oh, it is socks. Or, or,

you got the static, and those things can electrocute you on your mouth. I don't know if you guys know about that, too. Oh, I have. No, I have. I have experienced that. I've experienced the whole electrocuting through that microphone. Yes. Sounds dangerous. How would we not figure that out?

Well, I'm wearing rubber shoes. We're basically cavemen. Would you rather Jason explains highway to spell in a. An elderly draft on today's show. Thank you for joining us at SpitballersPod on Twitter. SpitballersPod.com is the website. Thank you for subscribing, reviewing the show. Your reviews brighten our day.

Sometimes we're feeling down, and we pull out the old Apple podcast, and we scroll over to the reviews, and we scroll past the bad ones, and we go to the good ones, and they just brighten day that's i established my worth to my children yeah listen to what i show listen to what this guy says about daddy i say uh uh jack jackal 57 over here right yeah he's super into my podcast three out of five please listen to what i have to say. All right, let's get started. Would you rather? I like this question. It's almost like a game.

Jackson from Twitter, not Jackal57, but Jackson. It's probably the same person. Jackson. Yeah, they're all the same. Without Googling exchange rates, would you rather have? Oh, here we go. I'm here for this. All right, would you rather have here we go i'm here for this all right would you rather have 100 000 us dollars okay 100 000 australian dollars no 100 000 great british pounds

yes 100 000 euros maybe 100 000 chinese won okay okay um, Australia is out. Their currency is garbage. I'm so happy you're here. Are they just eucalyptus leaves that they hand out? They're just like this Island in the ocean. They're like, check out our currency. Yeah. Where does this spend? Like what? On islands? It's worth like 30 cents at the most now pounds and euros it used to be pounds over there then it became euros now they're are they going back with the brexit stuff i don't know that's a good question are they keeping the euro that was a question i had when seeing the euro and the pound i was like wait something happened there on the other side of the world where this is gonna this is a trap and one of these might be more valuable. Mike, you seemed in on one.

I think that was the pound. Euros are worth more than dollars. Are they? I'm pretty sure. The pound forever was almost like a 1.8 to 1. The British pound was worth a lot. I don't know why. Yeah, I mean.

Because they're also a stupid island. I don't know if the Chinese yuan are worth consideration here. Dude, here's the thing. So obviously, different currency completely, but I'm scared because hit sensation squid game. Right? I was going to bring it up. I mean, you know, that's the Korean won,

which I assume is different. Than the Chinese won. Yes, because totally different countries. And one and one makes two. Oh, boo. Boo. I don't know. I kind of like that one. That's so bad. one and one makes two. Oh, boo. Boo. I don't know. I kind of like that one.

That's so bad. One and one makes two. Yeah, thank you. But that one is like egregious. You know, they're giving like a $10,000 bill to pay for a fast food snack. Yeah, different currencies have different, yeah. I'm going to go with the Chinese one. That's my final answer.

For real? Yeah. Oh. Is that because of inflation of you? Wait, no, that's the inverse of what you're different. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go with the Chinese one. That's my final answer. For real? Yeah. Oh. Is that because of inflation of you? Wait, no. That's the inverse is what you're saying. Yes. No, you said final answer.

No, no, no. Hold on. Owl. Owl. Is he allowed to take back a confirmed final answer? Hey, it's up to Owl. You did select Chinese wrong. Oh, yes.

Yes. I have no doubt. I mean, it could pay off. You're right, though. It's the inverse. It is the inverse. Right. Where it's like 10, yes. Yes. I have no doubt. I mean, it could pay off. You're right, though. It's the inverse. It is the inverse. Right, where it's like 10,000 is nothing. So if I had a second answer.

What would you go with if you had a second answer? I think I'll go euros. I'm going US dollar, okay? Okay. Okay. Half of it's fear. What? Because I don't want to get this wrong.

I know how much 100, thousand US dollars is worth. Yeah, that's a hundred thousand bucks. About a hundred thousand bucks. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. Let's say, let's say that that's a man who buzzed it too early. Let's say that one of these currencies is worth 25% more. Yeah.

Oh, the pound is definitely worth more. But I still have to do the whole conversion. Oh, you just go to the airport. I don't want to go to the airport with $100,000. For $50,000, you wouldn't go to the airport? Wait, you're telling me it's that egregiously different? I'm telling you it's insane. Yes, historically.

I want to know the answer by now. All right, I'm US dollars. Okay, well, first off, we just need to bring up, like, the euro is not that old. No, it's new. It's when the union happened. That currency was created while we were alive. Yes. Which is why it's more than the dollar.

Yeah, because it can't have that much inflation. Yeah. Which is also like, money is not a real thing. Economists are screaming at their radio right now. What, all 10 of them? They're not listening to this show. They did like the one in one joke. Yeah, they were a big fan.

Can we get a... Mike, you've got to lock in. I'm going... I'm going British Pound. The Euro can eat it. What's the most valuable? All right, Mike, he got the most valuable one. You're darn right I did. You have $137,000.

Oh, $37,000. Oh, that thing is lost. Jason, you have $100,000. Oh, yes. And Andy, you have $15,666. Yeah, in my fake answer that I quickly changed. That I quickly said, final answer locked in. When you buzz in on Jeopardy, he's not like, are you sure about that?

Is this Jeopardy? Is that the level of? This is a very esteemed show. Very esteemed. Two-time award winning. What's the euro? I closed the tab already. It's more than.s dollar yeah but less than the pound okay and was was mike right that the australian dollar is oh that's that's garbage so the u.s dollar is right in the middle the the

australian and one were less than that and uh euro and pounds are more than the us like the australian dollar you just you feed it to the kangaroos. Oh, it's feed. Yeah. They're pellets. It's the only pellet coin that is out there. You know how you go to the zoo and they're like, feed the whatever animals. You put the quarter in. That is actually Australian dollars. Yeah.

You just feed them with quarters. It's shredded Australian dollars. Well, you put the quarter in, you get the equivalent out. Also, I don't know why. We're sorry, man. I don't know why I'm attacking Australia, I don't know why. We're sorry, man. I don't know why I'm attacking Australia. I don't know why either. You like Australia.

It's a beautiful place. Filled with jellyfish and kangaroos. $75,000. Oh, that's not much different. Just a little down. Not much. It's $25,000. Compared to the one?

Yeah, $15,000. Didn't one of you guys choose one final answer? Yeah, one of us did. Oh, did oh we're still going okay we're still uh dean from the website would you rather the world be rid of all chairs or all tables oh look my lap my lap is a great table that's an easy answer not for all foods i think i want to say so what would be the the lap problem you ever had a steak dinner on your lap i could have it on my lap you could it would be that would be the suboptimal because you do need two hands for that yeah no table it means like you're not like putting. You're on the ground. Yeah, these aren't high tops, right?

Though, if you have no chair, these are regular size tables. Right. Oh, that's a good point. I mean, you don't get a cheat with a high top. You're bending over. I need a high top. Hold on. I can't live.

Are you going to stand up? He's testing this out, eating, bending over. This is a good show. Wow, this table's little so you just have to we would have to lean over here's the thing i don't think you realize the this is how we're doing the show you look like you have a really important point i look about 14 feet tall yeah one of these two things is used occasionally and one of these two things is used for so much of your life you don't realize and the chair is monumentally important i mean you are you listening right now you're

either doing a chore or you're in a chair you're probably in a chair you're in a seat you're in a car chair's final answer is a is a walk a chore jason a walk is not a chore people don't walk and listen who just goes on a walk to listen to the spitballers a lot of people a lot of people a lot of people what about a run my mother oh she listens to this every morning on her walk yeah okay i've been putting my place by mama um my apologies uh but i i mean the table's really only important when it's time to eat Yeah. Okay. I've been put in my place by mama. My apologies. But I mean, the table's really only important when it's time to eat. It's only important when you need a table.

I'm saying, when do you need a table outside of when you want to eat? I guess we... Is a desk a table? Oh, a desk is a table. That's a problem. Yeah. That's a big problem. No desks? I gotta use my lap. I could work all day on a couch. Yeah, that's a big problem. No desks? I gotta use my lap.

I could work all day on a couch. No, you can't. I guess you would get couches. Wait, in this world, could I have tables where we just pull couches up? No. No cheat codes. Alright. But if chairs are gone, I still get a stool, right? No! No, that's a chair.

It's without a back. This isn't... What? It's basically sitting. It's a sitting thing. Well, yes, it's sitting, but a chair is's a chair. It's without a back. This isn't... What? It's basically sitting. It's a sitting thing. Well, yes, it's sitting, but a chair is not a stool. This question's heart and the spirit that we're really trying to get after here is would you rather not have a place to put things or would you rather not be able to take a load off? Okay, you don't get a couch then.

Well, I do because I chose chair. So if I don't have a desk, Andy's right i'm working on the couch i oh plus i can you could sit on the floor if you had to eat a steak honestly if there if we got rid of chairs we'd all probably be healthier people way healthier sitting is one of the least healthy things you can do it it's like scientifically proven to shorten lifespans if you're in the i've heard the same man that just talked about nobody walking around the same guys lecturing us on the value there's a difference between having the knowledge and following it okay all right so i sit a whole lot i'm a look so why i like to live dangerously why don't you get rid of chairs oh because i sit too much to get rid of chairs there i'm

it's too comfortable all right we'll move on uh jess from patreon would you always uh would you rather always be afraid oh no what's safe no what or never be afraid but always in danger this is a mind job my five our friend jess for patreon here does not have an anxiety disorder because anxiety is called always being afraid but you're safe right i mean that's fair and let me tell you you don't feel safe because you feel afraid yeah yeah well that's the point right and i have not i have not dealt with this really at all right no no panic attacks no panic attacks no this guy's never been on the side of a freeway worried about a spider on a dashboard that he can't overcome well in those cases i was actually

in danger i've been afraid you were not you I was actually in danger. I've been afraid of wheels. You were not actually in danger. Well, not with the spider one, but I'm in danger on the side of a freeway at night. Yes, because you chose to pull off to the side because you were afraid of something that wasn't. I'm talking about the flat tire. That one was full danger. All right. Touche.

The question is, can you be safe if you feel afraid? Are you actually safe? No. That would be my evaluation of the question is that if you feel afraid, you don't feel safe. Well, right. I mean, you don't feel- So you might be actually safe, which is the point of what it's saying, but you're not- But it doesn't matter because perception is reality.

If you perceive that you are not safe, you have a panic attack. And if you've never experienced a panic attack, it is the absolute pits because you think you're going to die at any moment. So as somebody that's dealt with that mike would you rather never be afraid yes you're always in danger yes oh very much because then it won't matter yeah it really doesn't matter if you're always in danger what difference does it make to you danger you're gonna die that's right like how long can you always be in danger before it comes wrecking you're gonna die too well not every man truly lives i mean if you are not afraid but always in danger i mean that's the way that's better yes it's one of them is mental torture one of them is one of them is uh complete ignorance and ignorance is bliss so if you're

ignorant of the danger a lot of the danger doesn't matter that sounds so so if you're ignorant of the danger a lot of the danger doesn't matter that sounds so great if you're ignorant of the danger you're gonna get wrecked by it doesn't matter that's you don't even care yeah you're not afraid well but what about what about when you get injured you're in danger because something is about to fall off of the roof onto your head then you're probably going to do something super cool because you have no fear. You're going to do some kind of backflip jump out of the way. Would you rather be afraid 24-7 just knowing you're safe?

Like you sign a contract today, like the next year is good, but I live a year in terror. The only way that you can place this for Jason is you think that every single room you are in has a gigantic spider yeah and you cannot be real danger that's what I'm saying okay you just you just painted a Picasso it was magnificent the Mona Lisa is there you cannot have it's in a corner somewhere you can't see it so I have had anxiety okay I feel like I'm someone who has never really experienced anxiety, but oh, yes, I have. Okay, that's a no-go.

That is a non-starter. Yeah, put me in the water with the sharks, and I'm cool, calm, and collected. Yeah, that is a good picture of not being afraid. You're just in the ocean on a backstroke. Danger's all around you, but you just see the ocean bat out of backstroke dangers all around you but you just see the sky i'm having a great time chomp man i hope that chomps in the right place yeah yeah the neck yeah all right theo if i ever get bit by a shark i hope it's in the neck yeah i mean i'm telling you the amount of times I've talked about this.

That's true, though, right? I mean. No. No, it's not true. Unless you're on the coast, I want the leg. Yes. If I'm in the middle of the ocean, just quick and easy. Do you want it? No.

Because they might take a bite of you in the middle. You're not surviving a bite in the middle of the ocean. You want to quit. And you'll feel the pain. Yeah. Although the saltwater will help, right? Yes, you'll survive. Surfers get bit sometimes. Surfers aren't in the middle of the ocean. We're talking water will help, right? You'll survive. Surfers get bit sometimes.

Surfers are in the middle of the ocean. We're talking about like... Yeah, you're on... What are you doing in the middle of the ocean? That's what I mean. I guess there are other problems here outside of the sharks. If I were abandoned in the middle of the ocean... What's better?

Would you rather be in the middle of the ocean? No. Hold on. No. Your boat, it capsizes. You're the last man standing, right? You've got a, I don't know, you've got a little piece of wood that you're holding on to.

Okay. Would you rather, if you're going to die, would you rather the shark come and eat you from the bottom up? Oh. What? Yeah, I get it. Or it's just a slow wait for the eventual drowning or starvation. Man, that is.

And do you end up starving to death? I know this is morbid and it's turned terrible, and I know Al's looking at me like it's morbid. Which would you rather die, buddy? You would dehydrate first. Give me the shark. Yeah, I think you would dehydrate. Exposure?

Well, I would... Yeah, that too. If you just drink enough of the water, that'll take care of business. Also, you turn into the Lizard King. Right. That's how you get to Atlantis. I think I'm going to avoid the shark. I think I'm going to avoid the shark in that situation.

Right. I will eventually go loopy and not know what's going on. And then get eaten by a shark. I'm just never getting on a boat. Oh, well, that is one going to avoid the shark in that situation. Right. I will eventually go loopy and not know what's going on. And then get eaten by a shark. I'm just never getting on a boat. Oh, well, that is one way to avoid it. I'm sorry for that sidebar. Theo, you can only eat one of these pairings for the rest of your life. Which would you rather have?

Grains and fruit. Okay. Meat and vegetables. Okay. Sounds good. Okay. Grain and vegetables. Okay. So real quick. Or meat and fruit. Sounds good. Grain and vegetables. Okay, so real quick.

Or meat and fruit. Point of clarity here. They're saying grains. No one likes that. It's bread. But yes, thank you. Bread and fruit, meat and vegetables. That changes everything.

Bread and vegetables. It changes everything. Because to me, it was oatmeal. Right, right. They're just saying, well, you want oatmeal. It was a bag of granola for me. Yeah. No, this is bread. Bread and and fruit meat and vegetables okay bread and vegetables or meat and fruit look bread

easy answer yeah i mean it's not if i'm looking meat and vegetables bread and vegetables i'm not choosing the bread and vegetables i'm choosing the meat and vegetables this is so funny because we were just before the show talking about, you know, like feeling tired. And I had I just told Danny, I'm like, I I'm no longer on it because it's difficult. But I did a keto diet for like two years. And I don't I like I don't know the science. I don't know the medical stuff, but it's the bread. I don't know the science.

I don't know the medical stuff. It's the bread. But legitimately, I had never felt better in my life than more energy, just mental clarity, than when I only ate meat and vegetables. Because that's essentially what keto is, is protein and vegetables. And a lot of people out there have done gluten-free, which is no bread. And if you do gluten-free... But you can still eat rice and stuff, right? Yeah, other carbohydrates like rice or other flours.

And you were gluten-free for over a year at least. At least a year, yeah. Felt spectacular. Yeah, I mean, it's just... But bread tastes tremendous. It's so good. Yeah, I spent six months on an all-bread diet. It was outstanding. only uh yeah i woke up when it was five years later yes this is why i've aged so quickly um no bread is delicious but in this in this situation of

pairings there are only two with meat and it's meat and vegetables meat and fruit and while fruit is more delicious than vegetables meat and vegetables go really well together they do i mean it does not seem like meat and fruit are a good no they're not a good pairing i don't want like a steak and strawberries that's just i want a steak and asparagus which if i could only choose between strawberries i would take potatoes is Now, meat and potatoes. Is that because you've never been offered a steak and strawberries? That is why. Possibly. Because I've never been offered that,

and the second you said that, I went, hmm. I wonder how that would be. I wonder if a filet mignon and strawberries would work out. Or what about a fine porterhouse and banana? Yeah. What would that work out? Some kind of ribeye with a blueberry puree on top. Well, no.

No. Don't mix them, buddy. We were on a roll, and you're over here. You want to glaze up the meat? My point here is that the flavors don't work together. People do a fruit glaze on a meat, right? Yeah, like a mango. Yeah, like a mango.

You ever had orange chicken from Panda Express? On a chicken. Well, chicken a meat, right? Yeah, like a mango. You ever had orange chicken from Pinnacle? On a chicken. Well, chicken is meat, buddy. Not for you, but for others it might be. Meat comes in one color and it's red. Oh, my gosh. Mike, what is your final answer on this one? If I have to pick, I'll go meat and vegetables. Well, I need more.

Because I'll feel better. I need more insight into the world. And so we're going to turn to jason explains for that did you have something you wanted to have one more thing to add all right i think that i might be falling into a trap here with the whole going with meat immediately thing and the health you know you talk about meat and vegetables great i've got pretty much carbs gone there's some but um you know i'm carb free talk about meat and vegetables. Great. I've got pretty much carbs gone. There's some, but, you know, I'm carb-free with my meat and vegetables. But I think if I removed meat, like I've thought about this for myself personally before. Okay.

If I went vegetarian, like that sounds insane. That's extremely off-brand. But if I went vegetarian and said, I just don't eat meat almost everything i like is gone and i gotta assume i'd be healthier you can't you can't i mean think about this fast food what do you what do you get if you can't have meat yeah no tacos no burgers that's very true but let me ask you what's your favorite snack food jason my favorite snack food right now it's nuts like okay honey uh honey roasted peanuts but uh like potato chips oh yeah you know you can still eat potato chips yeah yeah like cheetos oh yeah no i'm don't hear what i'm not saying i could be a fat vegetarian i'm sure i could pull that off oh it

exists but i'm saying like i i would lose a lot of weight on that diet. I think I would. I think I would lose a lot of weight if I went vegetarian. Okay. You want to go vegetarian? Oh, man, no. No, no, never. Never. All right. All right.

It's time to play Jason Explains. Jason explains in 60 seconds. It's been, Al, it's been a while since we did this. It has. I have not learned as much about the world as I had hoped, so I'm glad it's back. Well, get ready. Yeah. Spin that wheel. About to learn.

What is Jason going to teach us about, Mike? That's definitely a wheel. Yeah. Hold on. Here we go. Hold on. Daylight savings time. Oh.

Okay. That's a good one. Daylight savings time is actually. Because it's about to happen. It's actually pretty easy to explain. That's right. Arizona does not switch. We don't roll back our clocks.

Daylight savings time was something that they made. There was a man who was named roger federico so what happened is is about 400 years ago um right when the uh great united states of america was being founded they what happened was they decided they noticed that as they traveled west, it just seemed like it was brighter longer, and there was this problem. As they were traveling? As they were traveling west, it just stayed bright for so long because they were going very fast.

They had a horse and carriage. And so when they got there, what happened is they realized, oh, my gosh, I have so much light. I love this. They went back home to where they originally settled, and they were like, it's so dark here. It's because it was on the east. Because it was on the east. And they're like, we've got to roll our clocks.

And so they instituted daylight savings where the clocks were earlier so that they got more nightlight. And so they do that. And so for half- And this was all Federico? This was Federico. Yes, Roger Federico. Yes. He also was a great tennis player.

Tennis champion. Yes. And so anyways, that's- But not actually related to Roger Federico. No, totally. Just a huge coincidence. And so that happened. But the reality is they realized that it was only part of the years,

in the winter months when that happened. So they stopped. Originally, Daylight Savings was just they saved daylight forever. Like in a jar? No, just they rescued it. Okay. Just as an entity. And then they realized, oh, we overstretched.

Too much sun. Too much sun. Gotcha. It was always day. That's right. And so then they rolled it back half the year, and that's where daylight savings came from. Is that what happened to Alaska? Oh, Alaska was never included in this.

That's why they don't have much daylight. They don't have any daylight, no. Wow. Now you know. Now I understand. Now you get to spell stuff. Oh, no. Highway to Spell.

What did I do to you, Al Borland? I got to scat. You're doing Highway to Spell, making me explain stuff. You let John Stone kill that spider. Oh, this was payback. People did enjoy that story. Very, very much. to the point of tears i will say if andy wins a fourth in a row we might have to retire the segment so step it up you know

as you say i feel a little bit of pressure to keep it going jason did you hear what he just said he said andy won four in a row he said if andy wins again we never do this segment again. Oh, I love it. It's a big mistake there. Yeah, give me couch. Dang it. Couch. C-O-K-U-R-T-C-H. Couch. Are you going to the mall later today? Is that a Billy Madison?

Oh, man. All right, back to Highway to Spell. Yep, we're going to start in sixth grade. Jason gets to kick it off, right? I was going to. Sure. Well, I mean, he's a scouter. I thought there was a standard. Yeah, there's rules to Spell. Yep. We're going to start in sixth grade. Jason gets to kick it off, right? I was going to. Sure. Well, I mean, he's a scouter. I just thought there was a standard.

Yeah, there's rules to this show. Great idea. All right, Jason, here's your sixth grade level word. Oh, I don't know. Unbelievable. Okay. Oh, okay. Oh, shoot.

I heard the word. I'm like, this is easy. Yeah, unbelievable. Oh, shoot. All right, believe is. I before. i before yeah before you accept that but then not sometimes they trick you um everyone's not oh shoot yeah okay have we now just to clarify just to we have not ever had the first word spelled wrong. Is that correct? Correct. Cool. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. U-N-B-E-L-I-E-B-A-B-L-E. Unbelievable. Yeah. You did it. Smartest man alive. You did it. Well done.

Thank you. All right. We'll go to Mike next. Mike. Wait. What? Are you setting me up to fail? What is going on here?

No, I just had it in the doc as Andy, Mike, Jason, but we started with Jason, so I'm working on it. Why would you have it in the doc so incorrectly? Okay, let's go to Andy. Genius. Vegetable. Vegetable. Vegetable.

V-E-G-E-T-A-B-L-E vegetable I almost said like a J instead of a G in my own writing vegetable aren't we supposed to use this in a sentence?

yeah you can go normal order Mike here's your 6th grade level word it's back to Jason Are we supposed to use this in a sentence? Yeah, you can go normal order. All right. Mike, here's your sixth grade level word. It's back to Jason. Penguin. Oh, I'm sorry. I was talking. What's the word?

Penguin. What? Penguin. I've got that one. It sounds worse than it is. Play it again. Penguin. Penguin. Penguin.

P-E-N-G-U-u-i-n okay all right now it's just gravy for us gentlemen i yeah i thought i was walking into a trap no you're always look if you're listening at home you hear vegetable you hear unbelievable and it's like no problem i hear these words it's like, no problem. I hear these words. It's no problem. You say, you get penguin. No problem. I sit over here. I write it down. No problem. When you are on the clock and you are told spell penguin in front of hundreds of thousands

of people here. At least dozens. I mean, it's so hard because you know there's going to be a trap at some point. All right. What's my word? Seventh grade. Oh, no. Campaign. Oh, no. Campaign.

Oh, campaign. That's okay. Hold on. Not the Suns player. Cam. Oh, not campaign. He's running a great presidential campaign. Oh, ladies and gentlemen.

There's multiple versions going down. There are three versions. So one of them. He crossed one out. He didn't like how it looked. No, but he's going back in and he has a third option being Okay, this is

where I exit, gentlemen. I'll see you later. It's not the bad one. Oh, boy. To be fair, this word is stupid. How have we allowed so many of these? You've had a problem with english words for a long time

okay wait till he spells it and then we'll decide is that correct he's going for a fourth version on his little notepad okay all right so you have a campaign you have a 25 chance of if one of those is correct i would love it if i wrote four versions. They're all wrong. I got all four wrong. All right. Campaign. C-A-M-P. Okay. A-I-G-N.

All right. Yeah. You did it. I had an E after it at one point. Champagne. Yeah. Okay, but seriously. Yeah. You did it. I had an E after it at one point. Champagne. Yeah. Okay, but seriously, campaign. What is a G doing in that word?

Look, I don't. No, it's got a good point. It's stupid. It's stupid. What is that doing in there? I mean, it's just the evolution of, you know, where. There's certain. It's what do the kids learn?

They learn the. Latin. No, but the. uh good we're still doing that the the phonogram phonogram there it is so campaign c-a-m-p-a-i-n campaign that was done one that i wrote down i knew it was wrong but i wrote it it's just it's so ridiculous like you get lat we got to learn latin we're not teaching don't you understand that like if somebody's default was wayne w-a-y-n-e why isn't it cam p-a-y-n-e i agree why are you saying wayne's name should be w-a-i-n that is exactly what i am saying wayne w-a-i-n but somebody ends up naming them i mean like we have in the in the evolution of coding like we have c plus plus and we have other we're not teaching people c plus because it doesn't matter anymore latin doesn't matter anymore we've got an angry old man on the

show today uh what's my word all right any seventh grade level word. Precipitation. Precipitate. Wait. Precipitation? Yeah, that's what she said. It's precipitation. P-R-E-C-I-P-I-T-A-T-I-O-N. Precipitation. Man, I love when I spell everyone else's words right easily.

Precipitation. Yeah, she said, if you have that word to play again, she definitely said precipitation. Play it one more time. Hold on, I closed it. Oh. Command shift T. Precipitation. Yeah, she says precipitation.

I'm hearing precipitation. I didn't listen. I forgot to listen, I'll be honest. All right, next word. Here, we'll try this. Precipitation. That's much better. There you go. I'll be honest. All right. Next word. Here, we'll try this. Precipitation. That's much better. There you go.

That's much better. Precipitation. All right, Mike, you're up. Seventh grade level word. Hit me. Emphasize. Where are the M? Man, that's so easy.

I should be. Hit me one more time. Oh, shoot. Emphasize. Precipitation. Wait. I more time. Oh, shoot. Emphasize. Precipitation. Wait. I'm not sure about mine anymore. Emphasize.

E-M-P-H-A-S-I-Z-E. Emphasize. Two rounds in. We're all smartest people alive. Also, where are these, like, what dialect are you using? What are you using over there? I'm using the lexico dictionary. I can switch to Merriam-Webster if you prefer. No, you're good.

I would prefer American. American dictionary, please. Pertipidation. Your eighth grade level word. Circumference. Oh, you're done. Circum. I might be done're done. Circumference. I might be done on that one.

Circumference. Circumference. Oh, man. I've written a lot of wrong ones. It's circumference. Circumference. Yes, can I hear that again circumference this is where i leave you gentlemen okay sir farewell one more time play that word word circumference okie dokie circumference s no all right c-i-r-c-u-m-p-h-e-r i'm already

wrong and he's already shaking his head a-n-c-e circumference tell me how many how many places did i get it it's an f right F, right? It is an F. What? And it's E-N-C-E-C. No, I had it. I actually had it right. Did you have it? Yeah.

Well, farewell. Maybe. We'll see if we fail. You could tie for first. That's true. All right, Andy, your eighth grade level word. Innumerable. What the heck?

What? Innumerable? Innumerable. What the heck? What? Innumerable? Innumerable. Okay. All right. I got my guess. I got my guess. Oh, boy.

Innumerable. Like, there's an innumerable amount of words I could spell better than this one. I-N-N-U-M-E-R-A-B-L-E. Innumerable. Oh! You give him Innumerable. Oh! You give him the easy ones. Oh! I was questioning.

Mike, you erased over there. Don't even worry about my correction. Did you go one in? I may have started with an E. Okay. Oh, I got it right. Dig nugget. All right, Mike.

This one's for all the marbles. See if I can win a fourth. So I can't win that. I didn't know I could spell until this segment began. So wait, if I get this wrong, this segment's done? That's a lot of weight on my shoulders. No, it's not. Jason, how much money you got on you? I've got a hundred bones for you.

All right, Mike, here's your eighth grade level word. Characteristic. Characteristic. Oh, word. Characteristic. Characteristic. Oh, gosh. Characteristic. Start with carrot. I feel like this one is very easy. You're easy.

Characteristic. Oh, gosh. Character. Oh, my gosh. So if I get this wrong, I lose? Yeah. Characteristic. C-H-A-R-A-C-T-E-R-I-S-T-I-C.

That's how I spelled it. Yes! Yes! So I would have got both of their words right. Still alive. I thought I had it done. How does it feel to be alive? All right, moving on to ninth grade.

We should have started with Andy. All right. Wait, we all get one per round. All right, Andy, your ninth grade level word? Reservoir. Oh, wait. We all get one per round. All right, Andy, your ninth grade level word? Reservoir. Oh, piss. Reservoir dogs. Res.

Wait, I wrote that way too quick to be right on this one. Hold on. Reservoir. Reservoir. I'm going with it. R-E-S-E-R-V-O-I-R. Reservoir. Yep.

It was that middle R. The middle R got me as well. Is it reservoir or reservoir? You see, when they say these names out loud, are these words? I remember these words are words I know. I don't need them to say it. I need it. Them saying, oh, wait, what is that?

I've said the word reservoir before. Yeah, but do you say reservoir or reservoir? I'm pretty sure I know what the word is. But which one do you say? Reservoir. You put the R in there? Sometimes. All right.

I feel better having not gotten that one right. You missed that one? I did miss that. That R in the middle. You missed the secret R? I missed the secret R. Don't tell anyone that one's secret. Well, let's see if Mike can stay alive.

I like this battle. All right, Mike, your ninth grade level word. Accompaniment. Oh, gosh. Accompaniment? Accompan- Well, see, my problem is I spelled it just like it sounds. I gave you a music word.

Accompan- Is that what you have? There's no way that's sound. I gave you a music word. A-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c loser come on accompaniment a c c o m p a n i e m e n t you were so close just get rid of that e that you put after the i and you would have had it you just put it wait it's an i not a y wait wait wait okay spell it for real. Uh-oh. A-C-C-O-M-P-A-N-I-M-E-N-T. Andy and I both would have gone wrong. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Accompanyment is just an I? Well, nobody says accompaniment.

You just put an extra syllable in there when you said it. Yeah, you just said it for a word. Accompanyment. Yes. Yes, but that's what I'm saying. I was trying to emphasize the E sound, but it's an I. Yeah, because it'spaniment. Yes. Yes, but that's what I'm saying. I was trying to emphasize the E sound, but it's an I. Yeah, because it's accompaniment. Yeah, like compliment isn't complement.

Compliment. Compliment is an I, isn't it? Yes, and this is accompaniment. No, I have no debate with the word. You are a liar. It's not accompaniment. Accompaniment. Accompaniment, yes. Yeah yes and there's no e it's just an i we well to be fair as andy and i sit here on our iron throne here we had y we thought it was a and y m e and t there's no e it's just an i what a stupid word

mike is losing it i mean no, no, he's losing. He lost. Off to the draft we go. Four in a row for old Andy Mint. Retire it. The Spitballers Draft. I am looking forward to this draft as well as doing these things when i am older because we are drafting things old people do i had an idea here so last week last week we dressed like how dad's dress yeah dad clothing and so it's really like the stereotypes

of the dads. And now we're going older. Now we're saying, well, what does the old person do? I want to know, like, when are we getting them kids on blast? Oh. Then the teens and the- Like stupid things kids do? Yeah.

All right. The list is too big. Poop their pants? So how- What age group? Ironically, that's also things old people do oh that's funny well we are drafting also there's only one person here who's pooped their pants but we're not trying to build the most stereotypical old person we're trying to draft the best things that old people do

oh wait we're doing the best things just things that old people do hold on hold on hold on maybe i misunderstood i mean we can go whatever direction you want i assumed we were drafting things that we i did not draft i did not prepare for the best things old okay whatever you want to do you're the first pick all right ruin the draft old people what do oh well the first thing that came to mind i don't think this is a great one-on-one to have. Because the whole list is... No, no, no. I'm saying there's almost all these things on my list are equal to the others.

But the first thing that came to mind when I think of what is something an old person does, and it's go to bed at 5 o'clock. I mean, it is the super early bedtime and their day like they were big fans of roger frederico they love the daylight savings like what's confusing and maybe i'm ruining someone else's pick that's gonna say they get up early but like that's the problem is they get up so early that they have to go to bed at 5 p.m. Why not just get up at a regular hour and then you can go to sleep at a regular hour? Is it to avoid the rest of the normal population? Probably.

Probably. I woke up at 3 in the morning. Because it is true. They do get up crazy early. Because they go to sleep at 5 p.m. Yeah. But how does the transition happen? That's what I want to know.

Does a birthday happen? And then it's like, well, I'm not allowed up past five. That's the law says. There's one day in every old person's life you hit a day, and you end up staying up a little bit too late, and that's the cycle. And eventually it corrects, and then you're going to sleep too early. All right. Well, I am going to take a very similar one but i can't help but take it first on my list which is napping

yep an old person was number one on my list loves to nap and frankly i love to nap i was i don't want i don't want this to sound like at least me making fun i want to be an old person everything on this entire list maybe that's why I said best things, is because they're all my best things. Yeah, this is your best life. I am waiting for the day they tell me you have to go to bed at 5. I mean, I am dying for this. And napping, you know, why do you nap when you're an old person?

Because you've got nothing to do. I mean, you have been walking around your house for so long. You can only vacuum the carpet so many times. It's the bomb. And you've got to have a napping chair. Yeah. It's the bomb. That's right.

I'm getting old with it. Getting old with it, Jason. All right. I'm napping. If you put these two things together, it's just impressive. Like, if I took a nap, the thought of me getting to bed at 5 like that's ruined yeah so I'm going to go with nap as my first pick you haven't hit the point where you can nap

and still go to sleep on time not at 5 isn't it interesting though that the older you get the closer you are to the end so you would think that the thing you want the most is time but the thing you actually have the least of is time but the thing you actually have the

least of is time because you sleep so much that your time goes by faster and you're because you're like yeah i've had enough yeah if anything be napping as a kid to get older if anything just like you're just trying to get closer yeah it's like maybe this time i won't wake up all right we're moving on mike take me away lord mate mike I've had enough. We didn't draft dying. Oh, man. Oh, man. That should have been one. Oh, man.

Fix old people, too. Take that, old people. Die. Get bodied because of your age. You lived a full life. All right, Mike, two picks for you. All right. Number number one let's see uh there's just it's there's so many ways you could go with this i had a lot of yeah

there's a lot of thoughts uh but we'll go uh like we'll go a little more with the tech version. Number one, Facebook. Old people love Facebook. I haven't logged on to Facebook, and I'm not really sure. Me either. But I know who's on there. All of my family members who are older than me, and they're all on there sharing garbage.

Getting each other another getting each other riled up no memes too man with stuff that is not fact check when i think of facebook i definitely think of an older crowd now like certainly yes i haven't been on there in forever but when i think of this and i think of like things old people do i'm thinking of like 80s are people in their 80s on facebook now oh yeah crazy yes crazy i'm proud of them to be honest you shouldn't because they're on facebook all right so facebook is your first pick all right things old people do oh yeah there's like there's some stuff that i know

i it's playing the draft game of like what can come back to me and what cannot. And whatever. I don't know how this became a thing. Maybe it's because this is what this is. And this is no fault to old people. I get it. Things that I did when I was young, like that's it. That's the cat's pajamas.

As the old people would say. They always have hard candy. They got a pocket just full of hard candy. Is that what that is? Is it because hard candy was the thing back when they were- I'm guessing it probably didn't expire as fast. Is our version of that going to be like Gushers? Are all the old people in our generation slamming Gushers all the time?

We turn our hats backwards. We put on really wacky sunglasses. We talk about how zany gushers are. You're telling me that they are popping out the word of their originals to stay young. Yes. Ooh, I didn't know that. Wow. But I guess hard candy was like, that was candy.

That was just called candy in their day. Can I get some of that fruit by the foot fam oh my god that'd be us yeah yes all right um i like it hard candy i didn't have it on my list it should have been on my list that's on my list it was on my list uh look man can we go five rounds with this one maybe maybe we'll see if you don't think you have that many, that's fine. I'm going to go with... Oh, he likes this one. I have one that no one's picking, so I got to save it for later. You knocked over an old person. Oh, Mr. Rogers on the desk here.

No, I'm going to go... I'll save that one for later. I think I can strategize. I'm going to go cruises. Okay. Old people love their cruises. Yeah, okay. I get it.

What percentage of cruise goers in the world are old people? It's got to be a good 80%. Well, because it's like you have nothing left to spend your money on. I got nothing to do. And you have nothing but time, so float over here. I could go to a hotel and have all of this super sweet stuff, but no, I'm going to go to a hotel in the middle of the ocean. That's what I need to do.

That's right. But cruises are the best. of the ocean. That's what I need to do. That's right. But cruises are the best. And I don't get it. I want to cruise. But you don't have time for a cruise right now. That's true. But when I'm old, I'm going to cruise all the time. There you go.

Have you heard of those? There's like multi-month cruises. What? Yes. And where do I get on them? It's a code of the old people. It's actually one of the giveaways for the Highway to Spell winner every week. I've got four queued up.

Oh, this sucks. But they just get on it for months because they have nothing else to do because they're old. All right. Nothing to do but wait. That's really good. I'm really happy for them getting on these cruises. They're having a good time. We have built them up. They have the financial wherewithal they've saved them getting on these cruises they're having a good time um that we have built them up they have the financial uh wherewithal hopefully saved to go on these cruises

i'm gonna tear them down yeah good i got two picks here you do all right number one complain oh yeah i mean they just i have on my, it was written down as back in my day. Just complain. Complain about anything. You want to know something disturbing? Yes. Is that we are not old people yet. No.

But I have found that my ability to complain publicly has- Have you heard this podcast? Has, it has, like, what do they call inhibitions? Yeah. The inhibitions of a younger Andy in public are starting to fall away where I suddenly don't really care as much- About complaining. About complaining.

Yeah, and just imagine when you're 80. Oh, I'm going to be the worst. You're going to hate everything. You're going to let everyone know about it pre-apology to all waiter waiters and waitresses yes from my 80s um the other thing that is just universal i don't blame them on this one i'm sure the same thing will happen for me but it is very true they drive so slow. Oh, yeah. I mean, when you see a car going walking speed, you always know who's in that seat. Is it like the perception of speed goes away?

Because you no longer walk very fast either. I think it's... So relativity? You can't take everything in at once, so you're just being safe. You're just being... You got to go slow. But you're not being safe when you drive that slow on the freeway. You're actually causing a hazard. Not if you can't see the people around you in the mirror.

Look, it's another one that flies in the face of I need more time. As a young person driving fast, you don't need to because you have time. As an old person, you drive slow, but you need time. And in Arizona, I don't know if they realize this around the country, but in Arizona, our driver's license, it doesn't expire for 10,000 years after you get it. 2049 is what mine is. Like, to the point of I've gone out of state,

and they thought I had a fake ID because the expiration date was so far into the future. You'll be dead before it expires. It's like, how is this a safe thing? You don't know what I'm going to be like in 80 years. I could go blind in 20 years and drive 30 years from now because. And never be questioned. Nope.

It is. It is not expired. All right. Things old people do. It's it is you as you uh look i'm gonna go with something i'm already finding myself doing too much of which is reminiscing old people love to reminisce because their best days are well behind them and those are the days worth talking about. What are you going to talk about if you spent the last week watching game shows during the day and going to the grocery store? You can't reminisce on that.

I guess you don't make a ton of new goals. No, you don't have a ton of new – I mean, this episode is disturbing on some levels. You know, the ambitions. Don the the ambitions they're not hearing this podcast is not one of them yeah well nobody's drafting listening to podcasts and if there is they're not going to admit to it because then they're going to be admitting their own that's right if you hear this you're super cool and young and hip all right so i'll go reminiscing for my third pick uh the good old days all right So I will close out my draft here. I got my two picks. Uh, this funny enough, this one like just came up. I was on a short little vacation with

my kids and, and like they want to, not that I, I love the arcade and everything but we're at this hotel it's got an arcade and they're like dad do you got any quarters like what no no i do not you know who does have quarters old people because they carry around change loose change what are you doing carrying around pennies in the year two? We're way past the use of pennies and nickels and dimes. They have no function in this society anymore. Get them out of here. Is there a chance that these are old pants that they never took them out of? There is a tremendous chance, except for they also have the coin purse. They have an item that is specifically designed so that they can carry around their chain.

What do you actually need quarters for anymore? Going to the arcade. Gumball machines in the mall. Parking meters? Maybe. I don't think so. I think they all take cards now. Yeah.

But it's like, what? And honestly, if you have quarters, okay. But what do you possibly need under a quarter for? Yeah, that's a good point. You need it for exact change. When you pay cash, you better pay exact change. I'm sure nothing brings greater delight and joy to the old people than they pay an exact change and they slide up.

I've got it. What? Three, two, or five, And then they just stare at you. I did it. Exact change. This transaction is over. I've completed it. Do you need a receipt?

No, because I paid in exact. They do need receipts. Of course they need receipts. You've got to approve a purchase. You've got to put that in the file. I might need to bring back this banana. That was your third pick, right? Yeah, I got one more.

And look, this isn't just old people because guilty as charged. But you know what they do when they want to talk to you? They call you. Old people, they be calling you. They don't text. They are like, oh, crap. they be calling you. They don't text. They are like, oh, crap. Grandma's calling again. There must be an emergency.

No. The emergency is I want to say hello and that I love you. And I say, no, Grandma. Shoot me a text message. I don't have time for this phone call. It's on my list. I have use a landline. Okay. Yes. Yes. You can't text from a landline that i know of are we are we gonna miss that nope well like i said wait landlines are

talking no the phone calls yeah yeah i mean phone calls are good phone you know sometimes you should just talk to somebody right yes that's that's. It's just I don't want to. There's got to be some old people that write out their text on a piece of paper and then take a picture of that and text that. Like I said, I am very guilty of this, but this is because of efficiency. Watching my wife text sometimes where this is three minutes compiling this one message, and then it's wait five minutes, and then she will get a similar message of three paragraphs.

I'm like, oh, sweet Lord, just call them, because this is taking so, so long. Just call them. I'll similarly complain, because sometimes those text exchanges happen with time eminence where it's like oh are we supposed to meet that family over at this place oh i don't know i texted her i'm just like but we have to leave oh yeah i don't know where we're waiting for the text to come back we gotta sit with this so i'm not clowning old people because

i do this i do the exact same thing but yes in a moment where you need a message, just call. But don't call me to say I love you. I don't get that crap out of my life. There are so many. Oh, my gosh. That's so Mike. There are so many other picks I have, like literally like 10 other picks that are great.

So I don't know which one to go through for my final one. So I'll just go with mall walking. Mall walking, I'm making plans now. I've already gotten the calendars out for when I'm older. You better cancel them plans because those malls are not going to be around when you're old. Oh, no. Where will you walk?

Where am I going to walk? I wonder if this is a thing across the country. It is, for sure. It is. Both walking in malls and malls closing. Okay. Well, that makes sense. Well, I know what you were going to say, though, is because in Arizona, walking outside during half the year is too hot.

So you thought maybe people do it here. But I know mall walking is like a thing. It's where the cool people go. It's not just a thing. They open the mall just for that. An hour early just so people could go walk around. My dad mall walks. Your dad's a mall walker?

Papa Skids is a mall walker? He's mall walked before, yeah. I don't know how frequently. In between pickleball days, but I mean. You go there and then they open the doors and then you go. It's air conditioned walking. And then you go, I'm gonna walk. Yeah.

You do. Because I mean, it's pretty big. Yeah. Up, down, all around. Okay. Yeah, you do. Because, I mean, it's pretty big. Yeah. Up, down, all around. Okay. Do a couple laps. You never walked before? Not really. No, I avoid that.

I mean, what if I'm in Disneyland? To be fair, when you were a teenager, you didn't call it mall walking. What were you really doing? You had no money. Exactly. We had no cash, and we were trying to get free stuff at the mall, so we were mall walking. Yeah, but I was just checking out girls. Is that what? Yeah, they're also checking out the other old people, man.

They're living their best life. She's still alive. He's still alive. Yeah. It's not for dating. It's just for curiosity of death. Look how many people are still alive like us. Here comes Gertrude.

All right. So am I just drafting one thing here for the fourth? Yeah, you got to close it out. Okay. There was some rumor of four or five. So I wasn't sure. If there's only one left. Oh, man man i'm looking at one on my list then you gotta take it man have some courage no i don't want to be too mean oh we've been plenty mean

already um all right this is much higher on my list i'll take this and then i'll give a shout out to the mean one because it's also true yeah's also true. But I didn't actually take it. Right, exactly. I would never be that mean. But they wear a jacket even when it's not cold. Oh, yeah. Because they're frail and dying, Jason. They are cold.

Well, sure. But it's annoying. Their blood is so close to the surface. I mean, you've got to have a jacket or a blanket at all times. I'm sweating in the same room they're in. Have you in their veins i try to avoid looking at the mic about to explode this does start happening and we keep our house at a what i would consider to be a cooler side okay but without exception if my

parents come over to watch the kids i will come back from set a date with my wife. The house will be three degrees turned up. No, it will not. And she will be wearing a jacket. So she will have turned the house way up and be wearing a jacket. It's too warm in here for my jacket. It's too. Wait. So when does that happen?

When does the shift happen where. Menopause. Okay. Yeah. Touche. Touche. Touche. But I was going to say, the shift where you're responsible for the bills, and so you're like, don't you dare touch that AC.

Don't you crank it down. But then you get old, and you're like, no, I'm going to crank it down. Well, no. She'll turn it up. She'll save me money. Yeah. She makes it low. She's avoiding.

I thought they were coming in and going luxurious like 62. But then wear the jacket. No, no, no. This is like making it hot inside and then still wearing the jacket. Okay, I see. I see. But what's your pick? My pick was wearing a jacket even when it's not cold. But I got some good ones on the free agent marketplace here. Go ahead ahead i can't believe we didn't draft eating dinner at four yeah early

dinner early dinner for sure um the one that i didn't draft was smell bad oh yeah get body dude when you get real old people smell bad oh yeah if yeah. If you're talking- Corpses? No. Oh, yeah. Because old people don't smell bad. They just smell old. Okay. What do they smell like? Moth balls? I don't know, man. That is so mean, and I don't agree.

Well, then you haven't been around enough old people. I've heard they smell sweet. I'm talking really old. 90s. Wow. Play bingo? Yeah, bingo is on the list. Oh, yes.

That's not on my list. Wearing huge sunglasses is on my list. Writing checks at the grocery store. Oh, do they still do that? Very similar to the- They're the only ones. The one I was laughing at earlier, I never even took, but it was feeding the ducks. Oh, dude, feeding ducks is awesome.

I know, but it just seems like something you could do when you're old. Yes, you can do it with your grandchildren. What am I going to do today? Feed the ducks. I have forget things. Oh, man. Oh, yes. Oh, how did you not draft that?

And then dye their hair a non-human color. What is that? Like a certain- Like a silvery white or- No, no. They dyed- It's especially, no. They dyed... It's especially old ladies. They dyed a red...

Oh, yeah. The red. A color of red that no one is born with. That no one has this... There's red hair that's fantastic. Not this. This is old people red. When you go to...

You get the color. That's what you asked for? It's old people red. Okay. I agree. Sharing photographs. Volunteering. Volunteering. I agree. Sharing photographs. Volunteering. Volunteering?

I mean, they do. What a bunch of idiots. No, I'm saying they have more time. That's what they do. Rocking chair. Oh, that's on my list. Yeah, yeah. Reading books.

Voting. Oh, my gosh. See, now you know why I wanted to draft the best things old people do to avoid some of this collateral damage. Oh, that's good. But, I mean, old people don't buy from advertisers, so, I mean, it doesn't matter. They don't know what a podcast is.

Have you ever tried to explain a podcast to an old person? Yeah, I say I'm on the radio yeah that's true well uh that's that's all did we forget anything else al no you i think you covered oh boy we got them all what did we learn today oh man i learned that there was a man named Roger Federico. Is that the second time we met him? He invented daylight savings time, and he's a great tennis player, but yet has nothing to do with the tennis superstar Roger Federer. I learned that Australian dollars are basically animal feed.

Yes. I don't know how they have a functional society. Well, they eat their money. They eat their money. I learned that Jason has anxiety after all. I learned that too. Thank you for listening, supporting the show. Please tell your friends

if you would like them to enjoy their Mondays and their Thursdays. Just not old people. They're going to feel real bad if they listen to this show. Man, we're going to feel so dumb when we're old. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.