Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: The Return of the Spear & The Best Months of the Year - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: November 4, 2021

Spit Hit for November 4th, 2021: On today’s episode, we return to the smash hit segment “LIAR, LIAR!”. Which of the buffoons will be the best at spotting the fake facts? Before that, we head into the ‘Situation Room’ to discuss scenarios like being stranded in the wilderness and abandoning our families for a spaceship full of cash. We put a cherry on top of this episode with a draft of our favorite months of the year. Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Spit wads. I have to tell you, I have to tell you about a new game I started playing. You guys might know from our show, I am a big fan of the match three style games. You know, back in the day I was crushing some candy, but it's not 2012 anymore. This is, this is today. You want an upgraded game. You want something that's fun. And I, I can't put down best fiends. Best fiends is an awesome, fun game. It's one of those match-style games, which, you know, those little puzzles where it's like, I feel like I'm exercising my brain when I play and I'm having fun. Hard to put down, man.

Look, I just got it. I'm level 70. Is that because the game is great or is that because I'm great? I don't know. You decide. But it's been a lot of fun, and there's more strategy involved. You get to collect all your fiends, level them up, decide how you're going to use your capital to make sure that you can beat each level. It's a lot of fun, and literally, they have thousands of levels. I think they're up to

4,000 more added all the time. So there's always going to be a fresh challenge when you're in your me time. And you know what room you're in when you're in your me time. That's where I'm playing. And you can download Best Fiends free today on the App Store or Google Play. That's friends without the R. Best Fiends. Oh, we got a great spit hits for you today why well simple jason loves spears and

jason talks about spears this is the spears well no it's the return of the spear because you've brought it up multiple times it's your weapon of choice that's the best weapon well you'll understand uh we also have liar liar on the show today and a whole lot more. Enjoy. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Hoo-cha-choo-cha-doo-cha-choo-chow! Yeah! Oh, that was one that just wouldn't have worked

if you weren't 100 on it. That one at 90%. It doesn't land for me. I think you said horchata one time. I'm not sure. I love horchata. Horchata chow down. I committed to an H and a ch sound.

No, no, no. You did. I mean, look. The normal scat involves the B and the D. We're overlooking the hot chow. I've been thinking that for a long time. I was like, where is the hot chow? Well, I've been thinking that for a long time i was like where is the hutch well i've been thinking it as well and here we are congratulations gentlemen oh yes yes 2019

comedy podcast winner at podcast awards.com thanks to the spit wads and good old-fashioned bribery. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't give out the trade secrets, man. Al Borland, no, he's made of money. He does this for fun, and he bribed the voting public, and we appreciate that, Al. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Spent $1 at a time. $1 a vote.

Yes, yes. Thank you. And he's principled. He would never pay more than $1 a vote. If you pay everybody a little bit,'s not cheating that's right no thank you spit was for voting for us it was a surprise i can tell you al borland was watching with his family and then spitballers popped up on the screen as the winner of the 2019 Best Comedy Podcast. And he said, what? And then he pumped his fist. Like a professional athlete would after a touchdown.

Or a producer would do after a big podcast award win. Identical. Very similar. But thank you very much. We appreciate everybody supporting the podcast. We're on Twitter at SpitballersPod. The community is at SpitballersPod.com. Just click the

become a spitwad button and that'll take you over to patreon and uh we appreciate all the suggestions the ideas for drafts and segments and would you rather questions oh they flood in especially from friends and family i'll tell you i they are facing some real questions i am so excited for today's episode it's finally back the the people they've been scrambling they've been begging since the debut oh yeah of the andy solo podcast welcome in everybody oh bad podcast he just screams bad podcast this This is bad. No, sorry, Mike. Continue. The return of the liar, liar segment. Very, very pumped for it.

Also, sometimes, look, we do a draft on every single show. You know, we do a silly, fun draft of things. And sometimes you're really, really happy that you have the first pick because that's the way the cookie has crumbled, as Jim Carrey would say. Like two weeks ago, I had the number one pick and our draft was probably the stupidest

draft we'd ever done. That was the animals playing off on a football team. I did end up winning, but that was animals playing for a football team. I got the first pick and I won. Well, you're going to win this draft. draft also let's just say this look there are a couple new segments we've rolled out recently and they are awesome liar liar it's back the other one with the fake articles what is we don't even know the name what is that is this real life is this real life

look i'm gonna crowdsource this where am Spitballers, when you come across an article that has a headline that is just unbelievable, just so... Well, we can't all see it. We're surprising each other. I know. I want them to send it to Al Borland. What's your at? At producer Borland.

Oh, we never check that. That's for sure. No, I don't. So we'll be fine. I don't look at that. I don't even follow him. We didn't even know the handle. We just asked him.

All right, let's read a review. Review-a-saurus rags. This is like a book. This is like a book, and it comes in from the Craminator from Canada. Oh, bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour. Reality TV show.

These guys need to get a reality TV show for real. I listen to both the Spitballers and the Footballers podcast, and I find myself using my own imagination to picture what they do off of screen. I would love to hear Jason's commentary as he sneaks out for a late night taco bell run, as well as the aftermath of what the snack causes in the bathroom afterwards. They want to hear that? Hey, look. That's not cool, man.

The curiosity is real. I want to actually see Mike weeping in the corner of his room when he gets a bad night of sleep with that sick beard and a voice of an angel. What? That's an angel with a cold. That's what my voice is. I want to see Andy practicing in the mirror like Ron freaking Burgundy

before a show because let's be real. He definitely does. Oh, he definitely does. Oh, the Craminators nailed us. These guys are hilarious. It doesn't feel manufactured. It would be great to be a fly on the wall. Get these guys a reality TV show.

Well, Craminator, I have big news for you. This was the time. We couldn't believe the timing. The timing was unbelievable. The timing of this review. Our announcement after the award-winning show is that we are going to be open to TV offers that come our way. So if you are running a... And none of these, like, you know...

Nothing small. Nothing small. You know, if you run HBO or Netflix... Major cable channels or preferably network television primetime. I think we would take true TV if we could be the... Sure. We'd follow up these records. Like how we do this web series on our, you know...

Yeah, these are faces for the television, not the internet. Unrelated, completely unrelated. What's the record for the fastest cancel of a new pilot show? It has to be one. Like a one-off? I'm sure there's plenty of times. I'm sure there are plenty of times where it's made. And a lot of times pilots are made, and then they don't get the show. But sometimes the show is already

you know, it's basically prepped. It's green lit. And then I'll bet a pilot's been made where after the pilot's been made, they go, we're canceling this. Can we go exclusive to DVD right now? Oh, I like that. Lower the audience. No internet. No theaters. Why don't we just go VHS while we're at it? We can. DVD and VHS only. Okay.

Is there something I am missing? Because I've thought about this frequently, which is a ridiculous thing to admit. Uh-oh. But the first episode of a new show is called The Pilot. Yes. What am I missing? Why is this The Pilot? It's a great question, Mike.

Okay, okay. So clearly I'm not. No, no. Everybody knows the answer, but we would never tell you. Well, obviously, you've got a standard alphabet, but originally, the alphabet used to begin with P. It's like an alpha thing. Yeah.

Before the Greeks, there was the caveman. Jason's furiously Googling and not finding an answer. That is correct. That is what's happening. That is 100%. We should do a definition. The second definition of the word pilot is done as an experiment or test before introducing something more widely.

That's what we're still on right here with this show. Hold on. Hold on. First 100 episodes is our pilot. Hold on. But that still doesn't explain. No no that sort of does but however now the word pilot has these two different meanings one is this is an experiment that we're gonna kind of see if it works and then the other one is the person in charge of your life as you fly through the air at 20 000 feet well sure but

why is that the same thing there There's also a pilot hole. You drill a pilot hole. That's the initial hole. You're going to put something in the wall, you drill a pilot hole. But again, that's done as an experiment or test to see if there's a stud behind the wall. I'm saying there's two definitions then, like two uses

for the experiment. I feel less safe now knowing that the other definition of the word pilot is experimental when this person, they've got the yoke in their hand and they control my life. So you're saying next time you fly, you're thinking, that guy's going to try this out. He's going to do a loopy loop. This is an experiment. Everyone buckle up.

You're going to want to listen to this safety exercise. Okay, we're moving on. listen to this safety exercise. Okay, we're moving on. The Situation Realm. This shows off to such an award-winning start. Oh, man. They're just going to start flooding in all these awards.

Chase, from the website, you three are stranded in the middle of a forest and forced to survive for 30 days. Which of you builds shelter? Which of you finds water? And which of you will hunt and cook for food and why? What would that situation really look like? Did you guys read Hatchet when you were young? No, I don't read.

No, I don't know what you're talking about. It was the story of, it's like a novel you read when you're a kid in the elementary school. And it's about a kid who gets stranded in the wilderness and has to survive. I know from past experience, my life of knowing Jason, that the first thing he's going to do for no reason, he might be really thirsty, he'll begin creating a spear. 100%. The ultimate of tools. Once you know you're stranded you have to say once you know your strengths and this is really your strength both both but if i if i

know it's like oh no we just got dropped out of a plane and you know what i mean like we're we're in the middle of an island what do we do craft a That's step one. And I'm in charge of that. Once we have a spear, I'm not letting either one of you two touch it, so I'm in charge of hunting and finding food. I'm going to turn this parachute into a spear. I've seen you try to write an email, Jason, and it takes you a long time.

Mike and I are making shelter. We're getting food and water. The whole time, you're going to be making this stupid spear. Jason the whittler would be the slowest moving person. You would be one slow whittler. But I feel like you need a knife to whittle, right? Yes, you do.

Or a sharp rock. Okay. Well, that would take a long time for me. But if I already had a knife, I don't think I would whittle a spear. What music artist do you listen to while making a spear prince bet whittler oh goodness bet whittler you that was wow that was we're gonna need some kind of warrant on that one yeah i really screwed up when i didn't say whittler right it's whittler i i'm glad you explained it because I'm sitting over here. I had no idea.

You didn't get it then? No, no. You just been shaking your head? Yeah, I was just like, sure. These guys are laughing at something. Apparently I missed it. I understood it, but it was bad. I mispronounced it.

You said Whittler. It would have landed if I had said Whittler. Oh, 100%. It would have been a sensational award-winning joke. Can we recut it? Nope. And let me tell you who you're listening to, Bette Whittler. Oh.

The wind beneath my wings. Did you ever know? So Mike and I would do most of the stuff. Right. Is that fair? Yeah, I'd be ordering pizza. I'd be like, they won't accept delivery here. Did everybody know the zip code?

Because your postmates got service. But I would definitely be in charge of food. Because should I die in that process, I would be the most. You'd be the food. I would be the food, and I would be both the most delicious and the most sustaining. No, no, no. Bette Whittler. Let it die kill me uh yeah i think i would want control of the

situation that i have no control of that would be difficult we would i don't really know that i would prioritize the right things in the right order i imagine you want shelter quickly yes but i also imagine you need water so water water is number one is it though yeah i think so over shelter i believe i believe that water is number one over spear spear is so far down the list uh i think so all right let's let's just put ourselves we know each other really well i know what let's say this is a real situation. Who's got the best sense of direction? Genuinely. Yeah, the three of us.

I consider mine to be pretty good. Okay. Not elite, but pretty good. I consider mine to be average. Yeah, I'm about average. So Mike's in charge of water. I'm navigating. I feel like, Andy, you could build a good shelter.

Wait, if you have a good sense of direction, that doesn't tell you where water is. It tells you where north is. It tells you how to get back from where you left. What good is it if I go out and find water and never see you guys again? Like, I have no idea where they're at, but good for me. I've got plenty of water. That's fair. Good point.

One thing's for sure, I'm not thirsty. And they are. Okay, so Mike's in charge of water well i think awesome putting in my myself in charge of look if you're stranded in the modern day you certainly have your cell phone yes now the signal is is gone you can't call anybody well you got you have to survive for 30 days this is not an escape situation but at least for the first few days i'm gonna shoot some sweet video oh Oh. I'm going to be taking. You're going to waste your battery on video?

What else would you use it for? A compass? I would really like a compass. We already talked about this. I don't need the compass. Your sense of direction is as good as a compass. You have to save a little bit of battery for the goodbye. Because if you're not going to make it, you need a little battery left to say.

100%. To say, honey, this went. Well, that's the first thing you do. Jason built a little battery left to say 100% to say, honey, I did this. Well, that's the first thing you do. Jason built a spear and I'm and I have nothing. He's going to kill you. But what good is it to survive for 30 days in the wilderness and you don't have content for your YouTube page?

That's fair. That's fair. Did you really survive then? No one knows. It would be really cool if you could live stream like if for some reason you've got signal hey y'all you still and you've got all the hearts flying up as people are like oh this is a great video you're like i'm dying could you ever actually tell anybody where you're at how would you tell somebody on the video you're in the middle of the remote wilderness and you don't know where you're at how would you tell somebody where you're at so there's some

and you don't know where you're at. How would you tell somebody where you're at? There's some trees. Yeah. I mean, you kind of know, like, I'm in Arizona. No, no, no. What if you don't? What if you're just dropped randomly? You took a flight from L.A. to New York.

Okay. And you went down somewhere. Yeah. Everyone fell asleep, and you just wake up, and the plane is... That's a good point, because I'd be like, okay, I was... Oh, and I fell asleep, so I don't even know how long it's been. Maybe you're in Nevada. Maybe you're in Kansas. You don in kansas you're somewhere in between and you are live streaming every minute of

it here's what how do you get people to you here's what i would without gps i would live stream at night and i would show the stars i would show the stars oh i would definitely request a lot of subscribers and i would show the stars and i would say this is now find me someone out there is smart enough to look at these stars tell the sun is about yay big now find me i'll give you 20 minutes where's reddit reddit could find you yeah they could for sure they'd be like i know tree. I've seen that branch. Reddit solves everything. Reddit solves.

Okay. This really. Did you guys remember that joke right in the middle of that bad boy? Bad whittler. Man, it was so close. It really was. It was almost there. All right. James from Patreon writes in a new situation for us.

We're approached, as we often are, by Elon Musk. And he tells you that he has been secretly colonizing mars he offers you three million dollars to go safely live on mars for one year his rocket however leaves immediately you are not able to connect with friends family and work to tell them you're leaving wow Wow. Do you take the trip? This is a very interesting situation. It is very. It does presume that you will return after a year. That's an important part because what good is the $300 million offered you

if you're like, I got a 50-50 shot of getting back? Yeah, and what are you going to spend $3 million if you have to spend it on Mars? Exactly. It doesn't do you any good there. No. I'm the richest. You're coming back from Mars safely. Okay, so this is 100% guaranteed.

Yep. Man. So you've got one year. You've got $3 million, but the next time you're going to contact your friends and family, I presume, is from Mars. No. No, it's when you get back. It's in a year when you get back.

No, I'm not doing it. Okay. No way. All right. That changes everything. If you told me that I could, once I'm on Mars, I could beam back a message and say, look, I took the money.

I'm gone for a year. That does make it a lot easier. Then my kids know I'm alive. That's what it comes. It could be $300 million. If my kids think I'm dead, I'm not doing it. But see, that's the situation. And I'm saying there's not an amount of money that would make me do that.

All right. So on one hand, okay, Jason, we'll talk about this. Like real men. You had me at $300 million. But yes, on one hand, your wife and your children, you have vanished. They have no idea where you've gone. On the other hand,'re on you're in mars you're you're on mars we've talked about being the king of mars and now you are one of the first

people ever ever like this is this goes down in the history books this is a life one of the first people to ever fully abandon their family for money no No. No, there's plenty of people doing that. Your wife could... Let's be honest. People do that for free all the time. Yeah. That's fair. You're at least coming back with $3 million. Your wife could remarry, in theory.

If you left for one year... I am going to go out on a limb and say that if I left for one year... Your wife is quick to move on. My wife would not have remarried yet. Now, five years? Definitely. When do they presume your demise? I think they don't even presume.

If you just go missing, they don't think you're alive after a year? Maybe after a year. At least six months, though. At least six months, but maybe, I think it would be a year. I think my wife would have to say at the one-year anniversary,

I've got to accept that he's not coming back. And that's when you have a giant suitcase full of three million dollars saying surprise i was on mars i parachute down into our backyard throwing dollar bills out into the pool in the summer while they're just swimming from the sky daddy's back just rain you're literally making it. What would your wives really do to you if you did that? And you come walking in, in a year, I've got $3 million.

The torture you put them through. I would. Yeah, but it was awesome for me because I was on Mars. I understand that it was awesome for you, Mike, that you got to go to Mars. That is one of your family will be destroyed that we can't overlook is like,

okay, family destroyed, but so cool to go to Mars. I mean, we all know who the first person on the moon was, right? Louis Armstrong. Jason, you're not involved in this moon conspiracy, man. That's historical. That's forever. But that's not even this case.

You're going to be up on Mars with a bunch of other saps like you. Yes, true. All chasing the money. Okay, okay. Mike Wright was the 491st person on Mars. Here's one of the rules. Here's one of the rules. You get to be the first person out of the ship.

You are the first. First touchdown on Mars ever? You are the first person to touch the soil of an extraterrestrial body in the history of humankind. It makes it slightly more compelling. It's not like you're abandoning them forever. Yeah, it's one year. You're coming back.

But you don't... No, no. Thank you for making it more compelling. I mean, my kids are only in fifth grade and first grade. They're going to be fine. You won't miss prom. I'll be there for middle school. Homecoming. I'm too sensitive.'re going to be fine. You won't miss prom. I'll be there for middle school. Homecoming. I'm too

sensitive. I need to harden up. I need to realize that being the first man on another plane is far more important. No, we're family men first. Of course, I would definitely stay with my family. I've had a hard time playing along because I'm just playing the devil's

advocate. I don't think I could do it. What if they could get a letter in six months and it says, turns out I'm on Mars. Please wait six months. I'll be back. Would you believe it or think it's a hoax? Been kidnapped. Yeah, it has to be like a telegram. On Mars.

Stop. Three million incoming. Stop. See you soon. Stop. Six months, maybe more. Probably around six months. Stop. Here's the deal but who knows stop i'm not coming back signed robot if you now now let's say you got back from this are you really gonna be like look i took three million dollars and went to mars i was told

i could come back in a year but i couldn't tell tell you. Or you're going to come back and be like, I was captured, but I took their money and got away and I'm back. No, no, no. I go. I'm not mad at you. I go the Mars way because of the fame that Mike wants. Yeah. They're not mad until you're the front.

Like, hold on. I'm, I'm busy on Friday for what? I got to be in this parade thing to also don't read any news media for like borland three years do we have time for one more situation or should we hit liar liar we got time all right austin from the website not on mars if you could warn one character in a movie or tv show of a tragic event that is about to happen who would it be oh wow uh listeners spoiler alerts incoming i'm sure for sure i what was the first movie that popped into your head because for me it was titanic now warning them probably doesn't do a whole lot of good for me it was end game but i don't think uh an answer came that was

just the first thing i thought of like okay yeah okay but well for Titanic, you could. You could say, hey, Leo, don't get on that boat, bro. Okay, so you could warn him before he even got on. But then there's no movie. Right. The Titanic is Leo DiCaprio waving to the Titanic, and then the movie's done. Tragic event. I mean, that's just the default thing that popped into my head of a tragic event in a movie that you'd like to have known about. That's funny.

The default that popped into my head was Robb Stark. Oh, from Game of Thrones? Oh, my goodness. Say Robb. Oh. Because it's not a wedding. Because, number one, Robb Stark was awesome. I really liked Robb Stark.

Yeah, yeah. And that was two. Spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. We gave our warnings. If you're still listening, that's on you. Number two, that was the most shocked I've ever been. Yes, for anything. two spoiler spoiler spoiler we gave our warnings if you're still listening that's on you uh number two that was the the most shocked i've ever been yes for by by any turn of event in in tv or a movie that i like literally did not see coming at all so that that was the first thing that popped

in my head and let me add to that yours what makes yours awesome is if you gave him the warning it's not hey don't get on the boat. Now there's no movie. There's no story. It's, hey, they are trying to destroy you and your family at this event. He's going to flip the script and he's going to be ready and they think they're surprising

him. He's surprising them. And then we get Rob Stark for the rest of the series. That's a good one. Well, at least for a few more episodes until he ends up being murdered. But did that define the series is the real series. That's a good one. Well, at least for a few more episodes until he ends up being murdered. I want to ruin... But did that define the series is the real question. It was a huge part of it, yeah. All right. Did you have any more, Jason, or can we move on?

I want to ruin some big twist. So that's what I want to do. I would go to the police officer at the usual suspects and I'd whisper in his ear, you know, I would go to the police officer at the usual suspects and I'd whisper in his ear, you know, he's Kaiser. So say he just ruined them in the credits. Yes. No, he'd flip the script. All right. Moving on. Spitwads more than 50 million men in the U.S. suffer from male pattern baldness. That's two out of every three men who will experience it by the time they are 35. I'm one of those men. And there are only two FDA-approved medications that can help prevent hair loss.

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I don't remember the intro being that sultry to that segment. From the announcer? Liar, liar. He's a very, very sultry man. Al Borland, remind our listeners what this segment is all about. All right, we're going three rounds. Each round consists of three facts. Two of them are true and one of them is not.

You guys need to figure out which one is not true. Now, if I remember correctly last time, I got off to a strong start. You and Andy had a very hot start. And then Mike won. Yes. That is accurate. I don't remember that. I don't think it was the first time we've done that.

If only there was a way to find out. In the archive at spitballerspot.com. Round one. Here we go. Three facts. Two true. One a lie. The lowest tone that can be hit by a tuba.

Oh, brown tone. Is called the crass. Ooh. See, this is not fair because Mike's a music man. Yeah. But I'm just going to follow his lead on that one then. Otters hold hands while sleeping so they do not drift apart. Otters have hands?

This is blowing my world. Suspicious. Very suspicious. Horses are physically unable to vomit. Interesting. Could a giraffe vomit? Why does that help you? No, if a horse can't vomit, then a giraffe surely cannot. That's my point. Because you believe it's neck related. This is algebraic. Yes. I mean, it's all you got to push against gravity for a long way. No, there's a pretty big neck difference between a giraffe and a horse right exactly it's way worse for a giraffe yes my i mean on this basis if horses can't vomit then donkeys can't vomit right i like that this that this one is possibly i like that this one is

themed animal animal tuba well the tuba is the animal of the music family. Okay, so first of all, I've got to go back to the hands on an otter. Otters have fins or flippers or something, right? No, this is the one. What animal am I thinking of? They don't have flippers. You're thinking of like a... An otter is like a mammal mammal i know what an otter is

no you do not you just said they have fins oh my gosh no no to be fair like isn't a seal a mammal i am i want to have flippers i am 100 a seal percent thinking of seals okay otters have like yes they have hands his defense is i know what an otter is then finds out doesn't know what otter is did not know what an otter was i am locking this one and it's true because i have seen plenty i believe it as well i've seen plenty of the videos where they have the otters asleep holding hands and it's one of the sweetest things you've ever seen in your life okay i'm just on google wait i have one we're supposed to be on google oh i'm sorry but this wasn't this wasn't to answer the question this was to know if i know what an otter was.

So look. What is an otter? Do they hold hands? No. One word is in Google, otter. And then I went to images. I just wanted to see an otter. That's it.

All right. And I'm voting that horses are physically unable to vomit is true. No, it's the false one. That's it. I'm going to say that the crass tuba one is true. The otters one is true. And horses being physically unable to vomit i'm gonna say it's false okie dokie what about otters were you saying i'm gonna continue thank you thank you i was going to say they are the most adorable thing i've ever seen yes otters like. What do you think of their fins?

They don't have them. Yeah. Okay. So for the question, I think that giraffes cannot vomit. So I'm going to say horses also cannot vomit. But man, if that's true, if both can't vomit, then horses not vomiting is not like a special quality. It's just animals with long necks can't vomit. Yeah, but it it's not like a special quality it's just animals with long necks can't vomit yeah but it just says horses are physically unable to vomit it doesn't

say they're the only animal they can't vomit but my point is if there's a lot of animals unable to vomit then this is just a really stupid point oh i'm saying i'm changing that's the lie oh my goodness that's the lie and i didn't and you are once again matching i guess so the tuba is very crass when it goes low i need a vote mike well the problem is i want to play the game but i i actually agree with you guys i think the one about the tuba if that was a crafted lie by al borland that is sensational that's what i think and i don't think he's that sensational i'm a producer i'm going award winning yes and it's only. And I don't think he's that sensational of a producer. I'm going award winning.

Yes. And it's only round one. I don't want to start a deficit again. We're all genius here. Tell us we got it right. You are all incorrect. Oh, come on. The tuba is completely made up.

Oh, my gosh. Well done. Good job. That's honestly a really that helps me trust that we're going to have some very challenging rounds to come. Can giraffes vomit? Oh, gosh. So wait, what's the wrong one?

Yes, a giraffe can vomit. I just told you that the tuba is the lie. It doesn't say giraffe. I don't know where you got giraffe from. Dude, I'm just. I don't know why you're connecting horses with giraffes. I'm extrapolating. They're not related.

They're not even close. According to Equus Magazine, horses have much stronger, lower esophageal sphincters than other animals, and this makes it impossible for that valve to open under backward pressure from the stomach. Sphincter? Mike's just laughing at sphincter over here. I only know the sphincter from one area. It's your butt.

Yes. Round two. Ding, ding, ding. Here's the three facts from round two. We have failed miserably in round one, but we're even Stevens. And ladies and gentlemen at home, prepare, because I've read through the three of round two. And if one of these is false, your mind is about to explode. All right.

All right. One of them is false, though. So my mind is about to explode all right all right one of them is false though so my mind is about to if fact number one if 23 people are in the same room there is a 50 chance that two share the same birthday impossible this is that is impossible if 23 people are in the same room there's a 50 chance that two share the same birthday. That doesn't make any sense. It's impossible. Dolphins are the single exception to the rule that all mammals have hair or fur. The single exception.

Impossible. Single exception. All mammals have hair. That's part of what makes a mammal. All mammals are otters from what I understand. Well, in defense of this one, I don't know if this is the true or false one, but part of a mammal, one of the rules is live birth.

And yet there is the duck-billed platypus, which is an egg-laying mammal. It's true. Incredible. It's a fact. So there are mammals that break the rules. And this could be one. It takes up to 14 days to make a single jelly bean.

Impossible. No, that's impossible. Ridiculous. Impossible. But then if that's the wrong one, that means if 23 people are in the same room, that's impossible. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.

There are 365 days of the year. Yes. Although they do not share equal, I guarantee they do not share equal weight. As far as dates of birth. Yeah, you certainly have to see this. Let's cut it down to half. Let's do it.

Let's say that double the births happen in 150 days. If 23 people are in the same room, there's no way that two people have a 50% chance. He doesn't make something like this up, though, guys, unless he just changes the numbers. If he took this and there's real numbers and he just substituted fake numbers oh man he's a sneaky guy now if it takes 14 if it takes 14 days to make a single jelly bean obviously jelly belly sells quite a few jelly beans that's that means hogwash but they they can make more than one at the same time yes they've got to be able to make like i mean it's similar to like an aged whiskey.

Except for their jelly beans. Nobody's sitting there. Ooh, what a fine treat we've built over time. This isn't wine or whiskey. It's a jelly bean. If it takes 14 days to make your jelly bean, you need to evaluate your process. Yes. Because you were doing.

You ever had an aged starburst? You were doing. I have. It broke my teeth. At least 98 things are wrong with your process. That one is impossible. So then that's your lie. Unless the answer is it can take up to 14 days to make a jelly bean.

It's the dolphins one, isn't it? It's got to be. The other two are too ridiculous. Yeah, but two of them are right, Mike. Right. Don't Dolphins have hair? So you're believing both are too ridiculous, therefore they must be right. Yes.

Because they're too ridiculous. Yes. I'm going to vote jelly bean is the lie. I think that's, if that's the way jelly beans are getting made, one, you're wasting a lot of time making jelly beans. Also, jelly beans are just so overrated. The fact that it takes them 14 days to make one? That's what I'm saying.

All right, what's your lie, Mike? Before I answer that question, Jason, why don't you tell me which one is a lie? I think that dolphins have hair. I think that dolphins have hair. So, you know, like I've always been told like whales have hair. Obviously, they don't seem like it, but like little tiny. I've always been told from my grandpappy. I think the whale got older and started growing some hair.

I'm a man now. Once a dolphin goes through puberty, they get hair in funny places. Like under his hands. I think. All right. I'm going with the dolphins. I think that's a lie. I think they're hairy beasts. All right, Mike.

We at least know that all three of us are not going to be tied after this round. So the thing about it is dolphins are the single exception to the rule that all mammals have hair, which is saying that they don't have hair, but claiming that they're the only one and there could be more. There could be five different mammals. That's how I'm reading it. Yeah, 100%. I'm not reading it that dolphins are hairy.

You were so emphatic that the number, that the first one, if 23 people are in the same room. Because that's impossible. If it's impossible, Mike, that's the lie. It would also even Stevens our votes. I'm trying to work it. I wish I could remember junior year statistics. How do you figure these things out?

Because it's one at a 365. Now do you then multiply it by one over three 60? That's the, that's the answer. Because even if it's the lie, I don't care. I stand by it. It's impossible that if 23 people are in the same room, there's a 50% chance that two share the same birthday. It's only one of us is right. It's like two of us are a lie and one of us is true. I'm right. Go ahead, Al. Now, while Jason's dolphin puberty concept was completely backwards, dolphins are actually born with hair and it falls out.

Boo! That's what I meant. Jason got it correct. That one is the lie. They are born hairy? They are born with hair. Also, hold on. That means that if 23 people are in the same room, there's a 50% chance that two share

the same birthday. I need an explanation for this. All right. Buckle up. Also referred to as the birthday problem or the birthday paradox, this is based on the mathematical principle frequently attributed to Harold Davenport. There are only 366 possible birthdays in a year, including February 29th, and each day has an equal chance of being a birthday. Using these facts, Davenport figured out that when 23

people are gathered in the same room, there's a 50% probability that two share a birthday. With 70 people in the room, it goes up to a 99.9% probability that two of them share a birthday. Okay, what you just did was you basically said the same thing without any explanation except said, this dude's real smart and he says it's so. I think that Davenport is full of malarkey. Is it the same thing to have a 50% chance as a 50% probability? I think it is. I think those mean the same things.

Okay, I'm genuinely asking that question because he said in the reading probability, I was like, well, this is... Yeah, that's chance. So if you're in a room, every single day of the year has an equal chance of possibly being that person's birthday is what he's saying. Yeah, but that's 365. Doesn't make no sense.

Or 366 because they're including leap year. Wow, that one, I stand by. Mind-blowing. Impossible. Impossible. And here we are. Jason's winning. With Harry Dolphin's winning. All right, by it. Mind-blowing. Impossible. Impossible. And here we are with Harry Dolphins winning.

All right, round three. Let's go. The inventor of the fidget spinner was actually designing a new turret system for his microscope when his son found his 3D-printed prototype and couldn't put it down. Okay, sounds plausible. That sounds very specific. Sounds too specific to be a lie.

Adolf Hitler once plotted to kill Winston Churchill with exploding chocolate. Sounds delicious. If it's not. I'm with that one. That one's got to be true. Yeah. Otherwise, you just made up a Hitler lie. Right.

You don't want to come up with like, oh, you don't want to be good. I got to make a lie up. Let's do Hitler. Let's do a Hitler lie today, folks. Hitler and Churchill on my mind. Oh, man. I hope that's the lie. Just so we could give it to Borland. Be like, why are you making up Hitler lies? All right. The longest bout of hiccups lasted for 68 years. OK, so that's either one of two things. True or a stupid change by Borland where he's like, no, it's 86 years.

To his credit, as an award-winning producer of our award-winning show, he's not been stupid with any of these. No, that's true. He's been award-winning. Two times. He just keeps waiting for it to happen. He's never taken certain ones and then been like, no's actually 63 years uh in that voice either the longest bout of hiccups i i watched something as a kid when i had hiccups i don't know i had seen it it was on one of them pbs shows and it talked about people that had these really long bouts

and it terrified me every bout of hiccups i had for the next few years that that would be the one where this is your life now yeah so i believe that the 68 years thing is true i do too it sounds true and i believe that the hitler thing is true because come on it's al borland he's not sitting out here just meditating on hitler lies now here's the thing about the inventor of the fidget spinner says he was designing designing a new turret system for his microscope do microscopes have like a a turret yeah it's like a new turret system for his microscope. Do microscopes have like a turret? Yeah, it's like a rotating turret. Yes, microscopes often have more than one lens and you turn it.

It does sound specific though because I feel like as smart as Borland is, I don't think he would call it a turret system. No. He's not that smart. A fidget spinner. With wood maybe. But here's what I'm thinking.

A microscope, when they actually have the multi lenses you turn and it you know it clicks into place meanwhile a fidget spinner continues it goes limitless so that if you had a microscope and you could spin it like that and it just went round and round and never stopped that would be a horrific invention i think the fidget spinner one's a lie locking it in oh yeah you two should pick the same one. Then I'll pick that one. No way. And I win. I'm content just getting this one right. And I'm going fidget spinner

final answer. What do you guys think? I want to do the Adolf Hitler is a lie. That it was like oh, he tried to kill him. I'm going hiccups. Well, that was quickly. You're just trying to get me to adopt. I'm playing the game.

Yeah, I see what you're doing over there. Yes. The longest bout of hiccups. See, the thing about the longest bout of hiccups lasted for 68 years is that that sounds like a fact. No, because it's a lie. Exactly. Like Borland's trying to trick us here.

I think you're right. I think that it's the longest bout of hiccups lasting for 68 years. That's just too simple, too easy. Here's an outlandish stat. All right. So you're together. But if I pick that, I guarantee that Mike cannot win, which is also great because he won last time.

You and I can tie if you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. And I got can tie if you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. And I got a 66% chance of winning. It doesn't do you any good to get the wrong answer here. You can't win with the wrong answer. I think the longest bout of hiccups lasted for 68 years.

I'm switching to the chocolate. Okay. That's your – officially? Because I'm going hiccups. I think that's too simple. I can't not switch. All right. I'm going to the Adolf Hitler hilarious

joke by Al Borland. What's the truth? This episode of Liar Liar has ended in a tie. Andy got this one right. The fidget spinner was completely made up. Completely made up. Dude, Borland, you're doing good work over there.

They're doing exceptional work over there. It was the clicking. That's where I felt like it was wrong. Plus, this means you didn't make up a Hitler lie. That's good. That's good. But it does mean that he went and put in a Hitler fact. It was like, which one is worse?

Yeah, which one is worse? Making up a lie or just saying something that Hitler did? Wow. Okay, so we tied today. Mike and I, right? No. You and Jason. That's right.

Oh, that's right. So now we are collectively tied lifetime. No, no. You got one victory. Andy and I now have one victory. Yeah, when people win at the same time, they call that a tie. You don't get a full victory point. Is that true?

Congrats, Jason. You guys got half a point. But you don't have any ties on your record. I think the real winner here was Al Borland. You fooled us well. Let's move on. Spitwads, sometimes when things get overwhelming, taking care of yourself, it's the first thing to go, which shouldn't be,

but unfortunately that's the way it goes. But if you can spare just 15 minutes, you can seamlessly fit cardio and strength classes into your routine with Peloton. Holy crap, do I love my Peloton. It's probably the best thing I've ever purchased in my life. Best in yourself. Exactly.

I love it. Cardio hasn't been my thing, so I was a little skeptical about the Peloton, but I had some friends tell me about how great it is. I was like, can it be that different? And yes, you jump into your first ride. There's all different kinds of instructors, but this is a shout-out to my man Alex Toussaint. When I spend 20 minutes with Alex, I leave the bike on fire. Not just I feel better physically because I'm taking care of myself, but this dude is like he is a guru. He speaks to you, and he really, truly fires you up. It's some king stuff. For the day.

Yes, exactly. It's king stuff. He might say other words but it he is absolutely the best and right now there's never been a better time because look you can get the original peloton bike for 400 less and check this out experience motivation like never before with the peloton bike now 400 less just go to one peloton.com to learn more that's o-n-E-P-E-L-O-T-O-N.com. The Spitballers Draft. Stupid draft.

Unless it was next week, in which case, fantastic draft. The draft that we have selected for us courtesy of Al Borland is months of the year we are drafting months of the year every single one of them all 12 will be drafted I'm going to try to make my notes

and Mike gets the first pick ah see that if all 12 are being drafted as the first pick that means that the last pick is not even really a pick for me. That's correct. Oh, you poor baby. I know. That's so terrible.

Because it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You're going to win the poll because you get the first pick, even though you get February. You think February is the last throwaway month? It's only got 28 days, dude. It's a little itty-bitty baby loser of a month. Sometimes it has 29. Yeah, it's the only month that days, dude. It's a little itty-bitty baby loser of a month. Sometimes it has 29.

Yeah, it's the only month that changes. Wow, okay. It stays pliable. I'm very excited to get February for free. Ooh, name problem. Ooh. Come on, I have the first pick. So obviously, look, Owl Boylan has already written it inside of the doc

because it's the most wonderful time of the year. Yes, it is. It's got the best holiday. It's got vacations. It's got two weeks off of school. Wait, why does it have vacations? Oh, because you're taking off a week of December. Yes.

Christmas vacations. Because it's Christmas. I'm taking December. And the draft is over. We may cue the music. Alright. You don't believe in yourself enough to turn your four picks into a more compelling argument than December? I think if I

got 11 picks. This is like Mike Tyson fighting a teenager. No, but 11 teenagers, Mike. Okay, I'll still take Mike Tyson. It's still gonna be Mike Tyson. Alright. I'm gonna do my best here, okay? Because the holidays are, to me, what 11 teenagers, Mike. Okay, I'll still take Mike Tyson. It's still going to be Mike Tyson. All right. I'm going to do my best here, okay? Because the holidays are, to me, what matter.

The best time of the year. We live in Arizona, so, you know, summer is terrible here. Yes. So I'm still going to stick with my heart. I'm going to go with the month that you start decorating for Christmas, which is October. Ha-ha! Yeah, I know Andy thought I was going elsewhere.

Look, Halloween is so much fun. You've got the changing of the seasons. This was the only obvious choice. This is where, I mean, there's parties thrown. There's costumes dressed up as the weather in Arizona starts changing. How many ways can I describe Halloween? I'm trying to. There's parties being thrown.

There's Halloween. There's time of year when you dress up. There's candy given out on the street. Don't forget the big blow up things and the houses that are haunted. Yeah, I'm going. So you're going with. I think October is. It is genuinely my second favorite month of the year

because it's for Arizonans. This is where we can finally start going outside again. We can live and not be scorched by the sun. See, I think you've made a terrible mistake, and I need to beat you. Please take it. But the reason that you've made a terrible mistake is because you just built this around yourself, not about the objective truths of these months you built this around

arizona's weather you built it around when you hang up you hang up christmas things that's also the month that i'm selecting is november oh the worst november is amazing it is the actual month you prepare for christmas it is the month that you have Thanksgiving, which is a wonderful holiday. It's the stupidest holiday. You get time off. You eat a ton of food. You watch football on it, Mike. That part's pretty great.

Yeah, that part's pretty good. November is greater sign October, in my opinion. That's fine. You get another pick. I know. I mean, October is way better than November. I was going to give you a chance to respond. Yeah, November is the clear pick to me.

Because there's three holiday months in a row. October, November, December. That's the greatest quarter of the year. It's so wild to me because there is a month that is so vastly superior to November. Really? Yes, because of everything. It's called December, my number one pick. Well, I'm saying besides that. My number two pick is still on the board. Really? That's fine.

It's not going to make it back to me. I'm actually going with the month of March for my second pick for several reasons. The Ides of March. Yes. First of all, weather in March, it's when spring begins. Weather in Arizona, if you want to keep it local, it's great in March. But nationally, that's the beginning of spring. You've got March Madness.

That's an exciting collegiate tournament. Sure. You've got St. Patrick's Day. You've got spring break for a lot of people. And you know what else? You've got my birthday. My birthday's in March, so kind of a big month. Excellent pick.

Way better than November. I will be honest with you, Andy. Had you not taken March, March would have 100% have been my next pick. Excellent. To add to your rationale and to add to the 23 people in a room would share the same birth date, I'm pretty sure half of everyone I know was born in March. Yes.

Maybe you just brought maybe March people, they relate to you. I was born in March. Yes. I was born in March. You were born in March. I'm pretty sure that that means. Mike was born in March. Mike was born in March. My children were born in March.

There's something going around. What is nine months before March? Do the math Borland. Alright so I am I am on it. Look you're your pick that you're hoping gets back to you you're probably going to get because from here on out

all these stinky months are the same but since I can't go to Disneyland and have it dressed up for Christmas because you took December. Yes, that's correct. That first week.

That first week of January. Oh, okay. That's a good one. That first week of January, I can still get there. The crowds are gone. It's still got the whole holiday Christmas season going. It's my wife's birthday. Okay. It's New Year's.

It's good weather. So give me January. I'm starting the year off with the bang. When you go to Disney and you're there for that last week of stuff, do you make faces with all the other people there and all of you nod and say, I know this isn't as good as December. We got the discount travel too thank you if i can choose if i like literally for years yes if i can choose to go to disney

at any time of the year uh-huh it would be the first week of december and then it would be the but after that it gets too busy then it would be the first week of january sure but if i had to choose between going like on the christmas the week of January. Sure. But if I had to choose between going on the week of Christmas versus the first week of January, I'm going to go and I'm going to look the people in the faces and we're going to go, yeah, what's up? We're the smart ones. I think what you say to them is you say, how was your Christmas? I think what you say is, high five.

Were you here two weeks ago? It was amazing. We're not waiting three hour long lines. Okay. January is a good month. New Year's. I mean, new year's. Yeah, it's exciting. January is pretty good. So my, my second pick, it made it back to me low and behold because it still holds a special place in your heart. Yes, we live in Arizona and yes, we are crotchety old men now. So this, this month sucks. However,

this month, significant, significant, significant, signified, significant. Guys is 30 days. The significant guys is,

I know what you're taking. Yeah, I'm taking June, man. It's summer vacation. This is like, yes, in Arizona now we get out in May, but to the rest of the nation, June is summer. June is fantastic.

It sucks in the desert, but everywhere else. The majority of places. Everywhere else in the United States, June is awesome because you are done with school. You are free for three months. You are on the best vacation of your life. And that's, that's 18 years of your life. You're looking at that. So June is incredible. Now, now it gets a lot tougher because the other picks I would have liked to

take. However, I'm going to take the month that Jason has just thrown in the garbage. I'm taking February. I'm taking February. I don't care if it's shorter, sometimes a little bit longer. It gets to actually be interesting. Every other month, it's the same amount of days every single year. Not February. No. Every four years, you get Valentine's Day.

What about the spelling versus pronunciation problem, though? That 100% is a problem. But sometimes you get an extra day. You get Valentine's Day and, and fellows you get the super bowl all right all right look that's a good one february is is an excellent month look i'm really sad at the beginning of this draft because 28 days and it's the littlest tiniest worst month but then in reality it's a great month the weather is great at least for us in arizona i love valentine's day i know people out there hate on it whatever if you're in arizona it's arizona's

birthday so um look i'm gonna go with the month that you should have taken a second ago andy and i locked eyes because we both knew what you were taking clearly you were taking pinnacle summer now it sucks for arizona but the rest of the world loves it and it what was the word mike uh you signify signifies is the birth of a nation i mean you want to talk about i thought about doubling up we did both think you were going july 100 but i've got july i've got the 4th of July. I've got the barbecue outside for everyone outside of Arizona. We barbecue in the winter here. Yes. Spit wads.

Spit wads. Spit wads. Spit wads. If you don't understand how awful barbecuing in the summer, like we still do it. In Arizona, we still get the grill out because the stores are all decorated with the barbecue stuff.

What a nightmare. You're out in the hottest imaginable weather and you go stand by a flame. You have to actually jump in the pool, cook a burger, jump in the pool, keep cooking the burger. I'll take July.

Alright, well, at this point, I feel like I've got leftovers, and that's it. So I'm going to go for what you'd call a straight flush at this point. I'm going to grab April and May. I'm finished. I got March already. I'm taking April and May.

I'm going back to back. I want at least a consecutive amount of days to enjoy the spring. April Fool's Day. I know you're not a big fan, Mike. No, April Fool's Day is the best, is absolute human garbage. But look, you get the showers and the flowers, my man. I get the showers. I get the flowers in May.

I get Memorial Day. You get my birthday. Hooray! We get your birthday. It'say! We get your birthday. It's a pretty big deal. Yeah. So I think April's not too bad. May, I got to go with what's left over here,

and I don't want the worst month of the year. So that's what I'm doing. It's going to drop to me. It's going to bring my stock down. I feel like I knew what the worst month of the year was from the moment this draft started. So there's only two months left. Enjoy yourselves.

I've got November, March, April, May. Am I correct here that the last two months are September and August? I don't know, Jason. Are they? Yes. So if I've got to decide. I'll take Schlocktober. Ah, man.

These are both bad months. These are both bad months. And they're bad in my mind for the same reason. I'm going to take September. No! Because it hurts Mike, primarily. Yes. I think that even though it's a bad connotation sometimes the back

to school thing is also a fun time I I know my kids I know when I was growing up by the end of summer it was like I I can't wait to see my friends again go back to school do all that the weather is still a little bit better uh August is How are you missing the best part of September? Which is? Football! Oh, yeah! Football! It's the kickoff of the season. I love September. That's interesting. But you can't have it, Mike, as I took it. September was my

vote for the worst month of the year. Oh, August is the worst month. Because for the entire my whole childhood, now it's changed to Mike's month. Yes. But going back to school meant the end of summer vacation and yes sure i was a kid and once you're back at school and you see your friends it's all right it's all right when you're a kid but i dreaded september because it meant i have to go back and not be playing in the pool or playing donkey kong country or enjoying my summer

so september's my turn of the year. I love going back to school. Hey, guys, I have a big announcement. What? What your last pick is? I would like to draft the best month of all time. Look, it starts with an A. It's the first letter in the alphabet. Still don't follow.

Mike, genuinely, you can crap all over this month. You don't have to build it up you can tell everyone out there why it's the worst month in the year and you're gonna win this poll 95 to 5 i will do no such thing because this month is sensational i probably should have taken it second i just did i got lucky i got it with my very last pick of the draft. And he celebrated. You remember when he celebrated when you took September? He was so happy he went, dang it. Yeah. Yeah.

That was like, dang it. You guys lost this poll so bad because I get August. Dang it. Yeah. August. All right. December, June, February, August. Jason has October, January, July, and September.

That is a good lineup. Still won't win. Objective commentary from Jason. November, March, April, May. The only hope we have is that our remaining months somehow dwarf Mike's. He's going to win. Your only hope is that August is such a giant wart upon my draft that people move along.

There's no single month that is the wart. Yes, exactly. You have December. You have Christmas. I'm voting for you, Mike. For the first time ever, I'm going to vote for one of you two because I can't go against my conscience. Did you guys ever hear that saying that November is the new December?

I heard it as October. Okay, we heard it as October. Oh, okay. We heard it differently, I guess. Yes, that is it for our draft. That is it for the episode. What an episode it was. What did we learn today? Oh, my goodness.

I learned that Jason Moore believed that up. How old are you? I am 36. For 36 years, Jason believed. I mean, how old are you? I am 36. For 36 years, Jason believed. Why did you look at your watch? Because I got a notification. Hold on. Checking my age.

The watch says I am 36 years old. For 36 years, you thought that otters may have fins or flippers. Or flippers. I wrote down that otters have hands as what I learned. This is real. That's true. I also learned that otters are the cutest stinking animal in the world. You got to look up the videos of the otters holding hands.

It's unbelievable, man. And I learned that Owl Borland loves nothing more than an absolute critical and sensational Adolf Hitler fact. That's true. He did choose an Adolf Hitler fact. At the end of the day, he did choose that. He searched for facts to put in our show. And he searched Adolf Hitler facts. This one's the best one.

We'll catch you next time, everybody. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballersads. Hey. The episode is over. Oh, no. Aw. And there may be others that you could listen to, but right now you should go to jointhespit.com because you can become an official spit wad supporter of the show. What?

Yeah. You could, Mike. It's true. I've been there. We've made that a possibility at jointhespit.com, and you can add your contributions to the show. Have a would you rather question you want us to maybe put here and discuss? Spittoon!

Is that you spitting into the spit tank? That was the spit tank. You have access to the spit tank. Sounded like a spittoon. Wait, is that not a spit? That is the same thing, right? Oh, that's the same thing. Can we go to spittoon.com?

No, we don't own spittoon.com. Oh, all right. But you can go to jointhespit.com and become a spitwad. That is excellent.