Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: The Super Bowl and Mount Rushmore of Actors - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Spit Hit for February 10, 2022: Today’s show is packed. We get into some 'Would You Rather’ questions and ‘Jason Explains’, before taking a trip into ‘The Situation Room’. Listeners get the opportunity to learn about some hidden (useless) talents of both Jason and Owl. We debate getaway destinations, using public amenities, and a monetary moral dilemma. We close out this episode by drafting actors for our ‘Mt. Rushmore of Iconic Actors’. Subscribe and tell your friends about another hilarious episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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Available at paintyourlife.com slash terms again text artist to 64 000 on today's spit hit it is jam packed of course we got the would you rather but this episode also features a fantastic jason explains i'm so smart you are you are definitely the smartest Jason on our podcast. Thank you. We dive into the Situation Room as well. We debate getaway destinations using public amenities, a monetary moral dilemma, and of course, what spitballers is not complete without draft?

We are drafting the Mount Rushmore of actors. Make sure you subscribe and tell your friends about the Spitballers podcast. Here we go. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason.

Keep it going. Mike says keep it going. Mike says keep it going. I say stop. Might have been my best one of all time. I was impressed with the beginning. But once again. You don't like the chak-chak-chak-chak.

Come on. Stuck that landing like a gold medalist. You never landed. You're just spinning in the air. You are right. Jason never landed. He is soaring among the atmosphere. To the moon!

10 out of 100. Jason's spitballers. 10 out of 100.ballers 10 out of 100 thanks 10 out of 100 you you built me up but then i think you meant to say 100 out of 10 i'd like to believe that i was very specific with my words thankfully it's three more episodes till i gotta do that crap as i say every three episodes we do have to absorb one of your scats and i absorbed it and it was it was better than others that you've done so welcome in to the spitballers podcast andy mike and jason would you rather we're gonna do a jason explain so you'll get more jason on today's episode are we uh it's in the show doc

congratulations al borland put it in there. To everybody else. We also have a draft. We're doing a Mount Rushmore draft of something I'll reveal later. And then we have a Situation Room as well. Mount Rushmore draft of our favorite presidents on Mount Rushmore. Yes. I'll take Washington. Dang it.

Reorder the presidents however you want. The ones that are already up there. Who's going to end up with Teddy? Oh, Teddy's a sleeper. He's the sleeper of the four. Yes. Jason, who are the four presidents on Mount Rushmore? Yeah.

You've got Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Teddy, and... Oh, this is the best part. I want to say Ben Franklin, but definitely not president. He was never president. Yes, and I'm aware of that. That's what I said. Oh, goodness. I can't remember.

Fantastic. Help. Thomas Jefferson. remember Fantastic Thomas Jefferson Thomas Jefferson coming home Ooh nice Spitballerspod On Twitter Spitballerspod.com is the website

You can check out the Patreon Become a Spitwant Support the show Get the episodes early Get your ideas into Al Borland's ears via a secret channel. You get to talk to him on the phone every day. Everybody who's on there calls him. He's got a red phone that just flashes when you call.

It gives you access to a human being named Al Borland instantly. And we appreciate you taking those phone calls all day long, Al. I'm here for the spitwads i wasn't sure you were here at all the way that that sat there uh we appreciate your reviews your support over on apple podcast wherever you're listening subscribing reviewing let's do some would you rather would you rather? Less confidence throwing to the producer on a Zoom call than in studio. Not a great deal in either circumstance. He could be going potty right now.

We have no idea. No, you just don't know. Would you rather, from Dan, he writes in, would you rather have to use a public toilet every time that you need to use the bathroom or use a public shower every time you uh the word here is cleanse i think yeah every every time you shower i assume i i think that's what they're saying i mean maybe this is more of like like a spiritual healing. Every time you cleanse, you need to do that meditation in a public shower. Are people using public showers a lot? And I'm missing out on this trend.

I'm not really... I don't think I've ever used a public shower in my life. Okay. So let's lay this out. Maybe out of choosing this thing. Well, there are two different types of a public shower. One, you have like athletes where it's just one giant shower and everyone after the game. No walls.

Correct. There is no protection. Everyone's shame is there. Or. But yes, I mean, it was exposed. So no walls. Okay. And then there's things like the public gym or a spa where they have individual showers,

which I have used an individual shower at a public place. Go ahead, Jay. I feel like that's what it has to be, right? Like you're not going to the bathroom. It's not a communal shower. Right. You're not going. The question is, every time you go to the bathroom, would you like to go to the bathroom

in a toilet that everyone can see? In a communal potty. Just a room full of toilets. Would you like to sit on a horse trough and go to the bathroom every time you got to go? I mean, to be fair, I think we've all used the horse trough at a sports stadium before and that is definitely a communal potty yeah i don't know what changed that they stopped doing that maybe they realized walls aren't that expensive what do you mean you don't know what why did why did they do it in the first place that's the real question abilities have

changed over time or where at one point in time we were fine going in a trough. I don't know. Was it just money? It worked for the animals. The improvement of trough to individual urinals, stalls, whatever. If you've ever been concerned that humanity is not progressing, just remember that we

did that. Men, we all at the stadium had to pee into a trough looking your pee pal in the eyes and thank goodness you were looking at them in the eye that's what you wanted right no you needed the eye contact you wanted to make sure there are worse things eyes up here but eyes up here but my point is what's none of those things are good, and we have improved. So if any improvement has happened, just remember the trough to individuals. And if people are thinking that's some ancient archaic thing. Oh, no, it's not.

This was in the Tempe Stadium where ASU plays games while a Super Bowl was played there. The Super Bowl went to that stadium that's actually what they called the trough the super bowl oh that's how they got the name super bowl oh mercy oh man all right look i this is an easy answer for me i'm gonna do the public toilet and the reason being is I can maneuver in a public toilet environment where I'm not touching anything. I'll have shoes on when I walk in there. If I'm going public shower, I'm going bare feet, public shower. No, no, you wear slippers. That doesn't sound good to me.

Slippers? What? No, okay, well, here's the trade-off. Slippers are just wet carpet on your feet at that point. No, not like a cushy. This is just a pure... A sandal? Yeah, like a rubber slide-on.

I wear my Ugg boots in the shower when I go. I would in that situation. That's how I know my feet are clean. No, you have slide-ons that are... For the water? It's not like a carpet at all. It still seems grosser to me. That's how I know my feet are clean. No, you have slide-ons that are for the water. It's not like a carpet at all. It still seems grosser to me. Oh, it's not optimal, but you know what is not optimal?

Going to poo-poo in a public toilet. Yeah, the poo-poo problem. That's a big problem. Can I poop in the shower and then shower? No, that doesn't work. Yeah, that's not helpful. Cheese grater. All right.

So it's an easy question for you and you choose public toilets it's an easy question for me and i choose the public shower now you take 45 to 50 minute showers and poop so either way it's i mean either way it's it's this is me time and i would rather i feel like the one is cleaning. One is dirtying me. That's true. If you're committing 50 minutes to each location, then I am switching quickly. Yeah, exactly. If I'm a quick peep party and I'm gone and I can go no touch. You don't get to control the toilet paper.

I'll just never go number two again. I'm fine. Just absorb it. Hold it. All right, Mike, you go ahead uh make your selection here and we can mercifully move on i mean the problem is i i hate to dive into the question a little bit further but like the idea we got nothing to do mike i go ahead i mean if you're saying public that's insinuating i have to go somewhere and when when you got to go, you got to go.

So, I mean, like if I'm at home and that feeling hits that I got to go now, I can't possibly be driving somewhere. If you're just saying somehow magically. I'm imagining you're walking 10 feet outside your door either way. All right. If I'm walking the 10 feet, I will take the public shower. It's not that bad. It's not ideal, but it is more. Getting into a shower where the floor is wet is much better than sitting down on a toilet that has a warm seat and you don't know why it's warm.

There are countries that don't treat their public bathrooms the way we do in America. They treat them with respect. Yeah, they treat them better. And they are clean and they are well regarded. What? For their cleanliness. Yes. Is this a country of like three people?

No, there are large nations that have grown. Look, we just talked. America was peeing in troughs 30 years ago. Clearly, we have not matured our bathrooms to the level that they need to be at what's crazy to me my dad my father grew up with an outhouse he grew i know my dad that's what i'm saying raised me and i know my dad he raised me i'm saying like he's not some like 200 year old you know what i mean like This is one generation above me. He grew up with an outhouse.

When I hear that, I'm like, no. Did they ever share outhouses? Were there ever one in between two houses? I have no idea. They did phone lines. You know they did that too? When you first put in a phone line, when my grandparents got a phone, there were four neighbors.

They shared one line. If you picked up and your neighbor's on the phone, you just hang it up again. Hopefully, they didn't have to go to the bathroom. The more you learn. The more you know. The more you learn. You're doing good. You know your dad, though.

That's good. I do. Nick from Twitter, where would you rather spend a... Where would you rather spend a month? A bungalow on the beach or a cabin in the mountains? Ooh. A month. A month.

One full month. Oh, man. Those sound pretty nice. They do sound nice for different reasons. I love... Well, a bungalow is inferring smaller area to live, right? Yeah, smaller- I feel like a bungalow is like a one-room hut.

A little studio bungalow. Yeah. A bungalow is a low house with a broad front porch, having either no upper floor or upper room set in the roof. Yeah, so it's small. Okay. Yeah, all right. Small, usually one story.

So a small, wait. So a smaller. They're saying it's got a broad front porch. Oh, the broadest. That's what makes a bungalow. Yes. Bungalow is a fantastic word. See, I think I'd rather spend a month

in the cabin in the mountains. But if you gave me a week, I'd probably take the bungalow. What's the difference? I think I would wear out of the beach life quicker than the cabin life. I will say this. Yeah, that's what I think so.

What do you do at a beach? You go, you sit, you swim, you play in the water. I mean, well, sure, if you bring a ton of different things to do, but... Yeah, in general, you're beach bumming. The beach is the same today as it is tomorrow as it is the next day, whereas in wildlife, in a cabin, every day could be different. Is there a deer? Is there a bear?

There's no more room to spread out, maybe. Although, you know, it might be about the same size i don't know it's a tough call these are the two kind of vacation destinations that people go for is it weird that i'm worried about a sunburn primarily like no no that's part of it man a month on the beach living on the beach you need to be worried about skin care yeah it's legit you could get stuck in that bungalow if you're uh peeling and uh in pain yeah i mean i i would have to spend too much time in my low roof the wide bungalow yeah but how awesome is it that when someone's like well where are you where are you staying and you go oh i at

the bung that that's my bungalow the old bungie back there otherwise she's like oh i'm in the cabin that sounds pretty good the cabin's nice too yeah i know a bungalow the old bungie back there otherwise she's like oh i'm in the cabin that sounds pretty nice too yeah i know a bungalow which are you picking i mean are you going beach yeah i mean they're both they're both great but if i have to be somewhere for a month i'll take the beach okay i'll come back jason seems like he is jason will be even more pale than he was when he started. No, he'll be pink. I am struggling here. I think beach, you know what's crazy is when you said, I'd take the beach for a week and the cabin for a month, my initial thought was, well, that's weird.

And I think it's my exact same thought the more that I think it through. The beach is fun. The pinnacle is higher. I think it through. The beach is fun. The pinnacle is higher, but I feel like a month is a time where things change. This is a relaxation

journey. This is a cleanse, if you will. I would want to do that in the woods, in nature, in the cabin. I like that the ocean is not nature. I feel like I'm more likely to die at the cabin in a month than i am i like that the ocean is not nature i feel like i'm more likely to die at the cabin in a month than i am at the beach maybe i was gonna say clearly neither of

you have aspirations of learning how to like surf don't i wouldn't i would enjoy that 20 years ago because if you like now i know i would surf now i would oh i would try but it would it's like yeah i'd like to play the piano too. But I feel like that ship has sailed. See, you could learn now. I could learn the piano right now. The reason I couldn't surf, I think if I'm up on a wave, I've got really strong legs.

I've got good balance. I think I would crush. I would never be able to get up on that board. That's the issue. But you got a month, man. No, but I got a belly. I thought you were going to say the sunburn again. When the knees come up, they stop too short.

I can't jump up very easily. Let me ask you this, Jason. Where are you more likely to lose the belly? In the cabin or at the beach? Definitely the beach. Definitely the beach. You can't chop wood? Chop that belly right away? I can, but I'm not going to. lose the belly in the cabin or at the beach oh definitely the beach definitely the beach you can't chop wood chop that jump that belly right away i can but i'm not going jason's chopping

wood's not fun chopping wood's not fun going and playing in the ocean that's a blast you know our family goes up north and uh i i've discovered they have these ninja warrior courses wait wait wait hold up hold up did you not know this, Mike? They do? They have like 30 or 40 foot lines and you tie them between each tree. And they've got all these things you can hook onto them

and a lead line. Crap, I forgot about rope courses. Those things are awesome. I forgot about rope courses. They are, man. They're so much fun. So, you know. I'm still the beach.

It's still the beach. Well, yeah. I'll just visit Andy in the cabin. Al, do you... Al's a cabin man. Do I... Al, should I be sharing what you just shared with me?

Sure. Jason cannot do a cannonball in the pool because he cannot pull up his knees and grab them. True story. It is a true story al borland was over swimming at my house and no first of all you can't shout out to mr borland doing front flips back flips and wait a minute borland can do a back flip he couldn't the first

time i've got hey i gotta tweet this video out the first time he tried to go backflip i have a video of it and he he starts to go and he thought for sure he was gonna do it and then he just jumps back back flop all back flop that oh it was great but he did nail it he got back up on the horse he did a backflip he did a front flip and his cannonballs guys are perfection you'd think i could do the best cannonball but i can't get my hands around my knees jason i've got this to tell you doing a cannonball a perfect cannonball is not hard there's there's not much skill in that to my knees a perfect cannibal as you dap up owl borland for his cannonball it's literally okay can your knees grab your knees no no no no no no

no no you're wrong i'm telling you my owl is nodding owl is nodding going like yeah yeah no you are 100 wrong because you're a wizard i have seen a hundred people do a cannonball before i've seen i mean when he came up i literally said i thought a cannonball was like universal when his cannonball hit i thought a gunshot had gone off the waves in this pool were unbelievable and i'm confident his body filled with water from i mean he just landed so hard right down on the bottom still getting rid of some of that water i sense a cannonball off is happening soon. Yes. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Now, Jason, if you want to get those knees up, I think the real trick is just learn to do the splits.

You'll be able to spread them and then hold your knees a little bit easier. So I'm holding one knee to the left, one knee to the right. That's a dangerous position. You don't want to go in like that. If I lean forward, I'm toast. I can't land in go in like that. If I lean forward, I'm toast. I can't land in the water like that. That reminds me of the kid from Hook that rolled the cannonball down the...

Would you rather do a backflop, a belly flop, or a split flop? Oh, mercy. Alright, maybe you shouldn't jump in the pool anymore, man. The nice thing is when I do a pencil dive, it's like a cannonball. Oh, you got to kill your pencil dive.

Yeah, the belly just automatically cannonballs. How's your can opener? Do you practice a lot, Al? Can opener's great. Can opener's fantastic because that's basically half of what Andy's saying. Put one knee up to the side. I mean, a can opener is far more efficient. I don't know what a can opener is.

That's a type of jump? Yeah, a can opener is a type of cannonball. It's a one-kneed? It's a one-knee up because you go in at an angle. What part of you hits the water first? Your leg? Your foot. Your foot does, but you're angled, so you do like a rocking chair motion.

There's a fuwop? Oh, you fuwop all over the place. Okay. All right. A fuwop? A beautiful fuwop. All right. Sweet mercy.

All right. Bilbo. Bilbo's writing we can't stay here guys because bilbo's got a question for us and we need to get to bilbo's question mr baggins from the website from the website would you rather have a dog with a cat's personality or a cat with a dog's personality oh Oh, that's a fantastic question. Because cats are the worst because of their personalities. Do you want a dog that goes and hides in the corner and never sees you? Do you want a dog that wants to kill you? Yeah.

Or a cat that's... No, you have to have the dog with the cat's personality. What? Is this just an allergy problem for you? No, no, no, listen. No, no, it's not allergies. Because if you give a cat a dog's personality, I'm going to get torn up to shreds. Because when I come home, that cat is excited to see me, and he's jumping all up over me

with its nails, and it's biting me. The sheer, what do they call them? Talons? Cat talons? Claws? You can claw a cat. No, no, cats have talons for sure. Continue.

The cat talons would get me if you're too excited cats. Cats need to be in the corner. If a cat had a dog's body, it would destroy you so fast. I didn't say it's a personality. They would own the world. No, no, no. I'm saying, but that's the same thing. A cat with a dog's body is a dog with a cat's personality.

You mean like a mountain lion? And I'm saying, yes, exactly. Think about big cats. Big cats have the body to kill you, and so what do they do? They kill you. That's what they do, because inside of their heads,

they are monsters. Oh, my goodness. So, yeah, I'm definitely taking the cat body with the dog personality, because I, look, I know it's not as cool to like small i love small dogs i love them i would i would prefer i've got two big dogs and i love your team small dog i'm not team small dog because i love all dogs but i but i also really like i don't have any problem with small dogs i want to be able to have them on my lap when i'm you know doing anything and sometimes your ideal breed my ideal breed is definitely hypoallergenic so i would i would say like some kind of small poodle

okay like a toy poodle yeah something like that maybe maybe maybe a little mix i can i want to see jason playing with toy poodle, just carrying it around. It would be incredible. I agree. It would be incredible. I'd love it. I'm still afraid of the cat talents, guys. Mike, do you have any final answer here?

I mean, if we're taking allergies out, it's the cat personality that's the problem. So if it's a cat with a dog personality, I'm going gonna have some scratches i'll i'll deal with it think about how cute kittens are how soft oh yeah they are they're wonderful but then they grow up and the personality changes where they don't want anything to do with you and they hate you and they want to kill you and so if it doesn't it was like oh you still love me you're still you're still cute and fluffy and i would love cats then all right we're

gonna do some jason explains before we move on to the situation room. All right. I guess I have to push this button now. Spat Wads, when it comes to fitness, keeping things fresh, it is the best way to stay motivated and prevent the burnout. And Peloton, they are pushing you further with so much new on the Peloton bike and the Peloton bike plus new classes, new music, new ways to keep your workouts fun and motivating. I love my Peloton bike. Like where else can you go from, you know, cranking out a 30 minute session

with the soundtrack to Encanto right into, well, you know what? I want to fire up some 80s rock. They have everything that you want. It's always tremendous playlists on there. I love the instructors. There's so many, and you can find someone who jives with you. You know that I'm on Team Alex, and shout out to Dennis and Jen as well. It's just whenever I jump on the bike, I know that there

is something new and something fresh and really like jumping in there to a live class. There is this energy that is really difficult to explain knowing that what they are going through right now live is what I am going through, which is what keeps me coming back time and time again to my Peloton. I love it. And right now, visit onepeloton.com to learn more. That's O-N-E-P-E-L-O-T-O-N.com. Jason explains in 60 seconds. Now, Al has the wheel. We don't know what the wheel will select.

And we're going to find out. And Jason will find out. All right, Jason, you have 60 seconds to explain puppets. Oh, puppets are easy. Actually, I grew up as a puppet master. So what puppets are? Puppet master. That's what they're called. That's what they're up as a puppet master so what puppets are puppets yes that's what they're

called that's what they're called the puppet master if you graduate to an advanced status of doing at least three puppets you are known as a puppet master now there are several kinds of puppets you have marionette puppets those are the ones that dangle from strings and you play god above uh there are the puppets that are your hand goes inside of it it can be as simple as a sock a brown paper bag or a really really nice one and then there are other puppets that are your hand goes inside of it. It can be as simple as a sock, a brown paper bag, or a really, really nice one. And then there are other puppets that are called puppets. And I just absolutely disagree. There aren't puppets.

They don't have anybody up them or above them. They're just called stuffed animals. And those are not puppets, just so everybody knows. Now, sometimes there's a hybrid. Is that the second half? You're naming all non-puppets? All are are yes absolutely um now there is a hybrid here that is the the clear winner and the puppet is the hand up the the hand up the back and the uh and you still have the stick to control the hands so that gives you wide range of motion i'm pretty confident sesame street

look the i guess the best puppet is when you get to wear a costume are you still a puppet that's absolutely a puppet mike i'm explaining what puppets are you're the hand in that situation big bird is a puppet not a costume and that is all you need to know about puppets. So I take it, my biggest takeaway from this explanation, which was, I mean, eye-opening, to say the least, the Metallica song, Master of Puppets, my whole life I thought it was about one thing. I'm wrong. It's about an expert level puppeteer. It's about an expert of puppets. He's a master of puppets. That's absolutely right.

The puppet master. level puppeteer. It's about an expert of puppets. He's a master of puppets. That's absolutely right. I've never been simultaneously sure that you knew everything and nothing about a topic more than in that 60 seconds. So I appreciate it. You're half right. We gotta know. The Situation Realm.

Well, now we'll never know. You ruined it, Mike. What did you want to know? What did you want to know? I have to know if Jason's actually a master of puppets. Jason, you have a, like, your background is unbelievable, and I feel like we peel off layers. I learn things about you all the time. Despite the fact, yeah, like we learned you were an award winning mime. I've

known you for going on the... You won awards for that? Yes. Yeah, you don't remember? I've now known you for the better part of my life. Or the worst part of my life. I was gonna say. I knew that was coming.

Do you, are you really, are you skilled with puppets? I have to know. I am. And I had a puppet. I had a puppet growing up named Sam. And I used it for auditions. And I would see Garth Brooks when the thunder rolls.

And it was so funny. I crushed with it. And it was the puppet with the i crushed with it and it was the puppet with the hand up the back and the stick for the arm i crushed i was straight up a metallica master puppet yes absolutely thank you for the clarity mike you are correct now i was a kid then but i still was pretty much a master you know there are people out there mike just unbelievable they just say they've done everything and it might not be true yeah that's why i had to know you just now that's why pictures exist for social media still own that puppet in a box somewhere i've never been able to throw no you do not and he at this point he is so nasty looking

because it's you know 25 years old or something. I'm pretty sure that you or your wife could figure out how to clean him up and get us a video. Yeah, that'd be nice. Of the puppet singing Thunder Rolls. Learning more things about Jason every day. I apologize for the preemptive situation room. We are now in the situation room. Cody from Patreon, you find yourself in the middle of an executive level meeting at a major film company and are told that you have the final decision on the next big movie release.

The only criteria is that it must be a remake of another popular movie, but told from the perspective of another character than the original was which movie are you remaking and from this is outstanding point of view i wish i had more time than the 10 seconds i have to think about this so this is let me give you the if you answer star wars then you're saying it's from Darth Vader's perspective or something. That would be a remake that would fit the role here? I feel like you have his perspective. We talked about a hook in this episode.

Imagine Peter Pan from the perspective of Captain Hook. The whole movie is following Captain Hook. That would be good. I think that... Didn't they do something like that? Did they do that? is that what the movie is i haven't seen hook in a very long time that is not from the perspective i just mean like they've done so many spins on peter pan and pan and peter this is just what sequel do you want to see from the from the vantage point of a pp of the villain yeah exactly like it's i i think those what joker joker was a perfect

where you're looking at like joker is not recommended for children oh yep yes yes uh stay well for mature audiences but yeah like where you're you look at this person that you your preconceived notion about them was was just thrown it was just thrust upon you if you watch batman joker's a bad guy deal with it why is he a bad guy i've got two i've got two that i can't i can't i can't decide between because they're both so good one very similar to the superhero bad guy thanos i mean he's got okay he's got a lot of layers to him he thinks he's doing right i feel like we saw enough of that we saw a little bit like i because honestly then how about i get it i get what you're doing a little compassionate i felt it i know this is a contrarian yeah you know who gets a bad rap and i want to know what it would

be like to live in such a wonderful land of oz as a witch as the wicked witch okay isn't there an entire play about that jason oh my gosh that's what wicked is that's right and i that's right award-winning see look i didn't think that, but that shows how brilliant I am. I'm 100% taking credit. You're taking credit for what already exists as your idea? Yes, because it's a Tony award, it's a masterpiece. You won, dog. I have never once seen or listened to the music of Wicked.

You haven't seen Wicked? No, I haven't. This is not something I'm aware of. No, he wrote it. He hasn't seen it, but he wrote it. I will write it. Bro, I hate musicals, and Wicked is wicked. It's great.

It's fantastic. We went to New York a year ago or so, saw a couple musicals. Wicked was in the running, but we didn't see it. So you went and saw a bunch of garbage instead of seeing something great. Oh, dude. Hamilton and that frozen how dare you you'll lose mike because al will be on our side i thought it was gonna be like i saw cats oh no nobody says that it's not the 70s anymore mike we saw dogs with cat personalities. Look, I've been waiting for a long time to see

time travel from Biff's perspective. I mean, I really relate to Biff. Or, Hey, don't hate the player. Hate the game. That Tyrannosaurus. What was going through his head in Jurassic Park? I'd like to see him grow up a little bit

in the wild and then you know he's just trying to get out yeah and he did he did he did get out he really got out and succeeding yeah just trying and succeeding the classic classic story of success yeah um i'll throw out like is voldemort really that bad of a guy yeah yeah i'm gonna say yes as a as a harry potter connoisseur as a baby kid a baby attempted baby murderer yeah probably yeah i'm just saying i would like to hear what what that was all about the story he was i mean look look at him look at him in the mirror what he's got no no no bullying has he faced okay so i am very little andy i am not the harry potter kind of i've seen all the movies have not read the books sure so i'm sure there's more

details in there why what's up with the nose why does he not have a nose did something happen or is it just like there's voldemort he doesn't have a nose so i think the books talk about him having more of like a snake-like face, but I don't think it was intentionally going to be that. And then the movies came out. It's like, oh, the dude's got a snake head. Okay. Yeah, I mean, and he was kind of, when he took care of Harry in the beginning,

he was like basically almost dead and then came back. So I think that had to do with him looking so not great. So when you come back you don't get your... The nose is the last thing. Your body knows it's not that important. Just put two slots in there and you're good to go. He almost got all the way back but he couldn't get

the nose. He was slithering back into existence. Oh, there he goes. Kirk from Patreon. The three of you arrive at your office where you find a mysterious duffel bag and a note it reads this bag contains one hundred thousand dollars in cash if one of you decides to open it and take the bag he will get to keep the money and the others will be left with nothing uh the person who opens the bag, he will get to keep the money. The others will be left with nothing. The person who opens the bag may not share any of the money.

However, if none of you open the bag by the end of the day, each of you will be given $10,000 when you arrive at home. What decision will you make? All for one or one for all? I'm not going to pretend that we had clarity on this question before this episode began, but now I know that we all, we all know about the bag from the moment we walk into this office. And,

and, uh, what, so what we have done, we all mess privately messages, messaged our Borland and we, me and Al worked it out and we're going with, because the line says no sharing.

Essentially, that means if multiple people open the bag up, you can't share it. So that means that there's no money for anybody. Does that make sense? Okay. We are going that route. Wow. That makes it tough. That makes it.

I'm not sure I followed. Okay, well, let's just get to the reveal then, and then we'll break the question down. I already deleted my answer to Jeremy because I didn't... My original answer was I didn't think you guys would know about it, so I decided that I was going to take the money and then... Because, of course, that makes it so much easier. Over the course of the next-

Well, no, you still have to deal with your conscience, but I was going to assuage my conscience by being really nice to you for- You can't share the money. Four to six months. Oh, like just complimentary. Like, hey, would you like a drink? Hey, let me get that door for you. Sure, do you want-

Hey, look, I got your favorite meal. You know what I mean? I assume that we would all know what happens. Oh, man. He had a chance. And I messaged Jeremy and I told him, yeah, I'm taking that money, yo. That would come back to bite you. Oh, no.

So I figured I could just explain it like this. Gambling debt. Look, guys, this is going to take my legs. That's not bad. The ponies have not been kind. But in this situation, I feel like I'm doing a service for our local economy. Oh, yeah, that's how we're going to feel, too. Yeah.

Oh, I see what you're saying 70 000 goes away to nothing i'm burning 70 000 that could go collectively to the three of us and now collectively to the three of us all 100 000 has been delivered collectively as in we are part of the local economy receiving the benefits of you spending our money? If I get $100,000 and you add what you get and what Mike gets together, the three of us got $100,000. That's how I would look at it. I would just own and keep the money. We would look at it more like you took the money from us.

I would also look at it like that, yes. Like you're a thief. I would respect it, but you also just stole my money. But I only took $10,000 from you. I got $100,000. Don't you guys understand math? Wouldn't you be happy for me? We're in a business together, so you'd have to... For the record,

Mike was the only one that said he would take the $10 10 grand with each of you. Oh, well, now the truth has revealed itself to everyone. I didn't say anything. That's the only way to do it with a business, because I couldn't have you guys. Your silence is deafening. Look, but here's the great news, Andy. We have this show, and now that Jason has stolen all this money from us i think

that the two-thirds of us can vote him off the show like survivor style right so he can he can ride off into the wilderness with that money good luck knowing about puppets without me oh that's a great point shoot that hundred and you gotta pay some taxes how to master puppets yeah well mike first things first don't grab a stuffed animal those aren't puppets that's true i will and so that's a good place to start unfortunately for you jason i learned everything i need to know about puppets in 60 seconds i learned it in about 30 seconds and the other 30 seconds was useless so um yeah man i mean there's really only one way to find this out and that would be obviously somebody volunteering a bag of a hundred thousand dollars so that we can do the

experiment i nominate mike i will just email me and i'll get it set up for everybody i promise just venmo me your money venmo me a hundred grand i'll put it in a bag. And I will take it. This sounds great. I'll go from there. Oh, my goodness. All right. You guys ready to draft? I think so. Listen, if saving more and spending less is one of your top goals for 2022,

and it should be because that's just a really good goal. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. Then why are you still paying insane amounts of money every month for wireless? and it should be because that's just a really good goal. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. Then why are you still paying insane amounts of money every month for wireless? Switching to Mint Mobile, it's the easiest way to save this year. As the first company to sell premium wireless service online only, Mint Mobile lets you maximize your savings with plans starting at just $15 a month. I know Andy's got his kids on Mint Mobile.

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To get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month and get the plan shipped to your door for free, go to mintmobile.com spitballers that's mintmobile.com spitballers cut your wireless bill we are drafting a mount rushmore of iconic actors and we're going to do the same thing with actresses on another episode we thought about combining them there's too many to choose from so we figured let's split it up and we'll do a Mount Rushmore of Actors and Mount Rushmore of Actors on separate shows. So Jason has the very

first pick as indicated by the catch kapow! The show. Followed by the kapow! Now I've put my list together. I've got like 10 that I really like and plenty more if you guys draft well. But I'm looking at my list, and I'm thinking, man, I'm jealous of where Mike's at.

I think that – It's not a bad place to be. That turn is good. But you want to know where the best place to be is, Mike? The 101. The 101 is the best and i will offer you the 101 and the 303 for the two three or the the the one we're offering a trade my first and third positions yes okay so give me the numbers again all right so i'm gonna give you my my first no that all right well that's that

settles it because that was the best piece of my ammo so if you're not accepting the first pick i guess i'm i'm on the clock yes so you feel like you're in a tough position with the 101 jay i love the 101 i've got a clear i've got a clear 101 but so much you try to trade it god loves us he doesn't need it, but he loves it. No, it's a matter of by the time people come back to me, I'm worried about the two Mike kids because I think Mike can grab. You should not be worried about Mike. All right.

Okay. I'm not going to worry. I'm going to take Tom Hanks. Okay. The guy that has never made a bad movie that has been in comedies, dramas, classic sports movies. I mean, there's no genre he hasn't been a part of. And everyone, every actor just has made, every major actor,

has just made a handful of garbage movies, just movies that are unwatchable. Hasn't he made some bad movies? No. Name his bad movies. Hold on, hold on. Was those In uh in those inferno movies the joe versus the volcano volcano was great those are no no not joe versus the volcano and the dot the dante uh dante's peak that wasn't tom that was that was pierce brosnan he do some da vinci codes are those good oh he was he was the best-selling books those were great, best-selling books was the answer to whether the movie was good?

That's like saying Harry- Best-selling books. Yeah, Harry Potter's not the best movie of all time. I just watched a Harry Potter movie last night because it's part of best-selling books. Because it's a best-selling book. Look, if you're going to try to disparage Tom Hanks' IMDB credits, you're going to be making a fool of yourself. He's a great actor. He should be up there.

Yeah. I got the one on one. Oh, I was going to throw up mama Mia, but apparently he's the executive producer. Dots to bullet on that one. Yeah. All right.

Stand by it. So fair pick belongs on the Mount Rushmore. That's where I would have gone with my first pick. So do I have the next pick? That's right? You do. Great. Okay.

I'm worried about some of these guys getting back to me because Mike's got a couple picks. I don't know why everyone's so worried. You guys know how I do things know why everyone's so worried. You guys know how I do things. Why are you so worried about my picks? I'm going to take Leonardo DiCaprio. Come on, man.

Because of course Mike would have taken him. That's one of the two I knew you were going to take that I wanted. Leo is the goat. I am on record. I know I would take Tom Hanks for my first pick, but Leo is the greatest of all time. Yeah, so I'll take Leo. Put his name in a movie. I am on record. I know I would take Tom Hanks for my first pick, but Leo is the greatest of all time. Yeah, so I'll take Leo. Put his name in a movie and I'm seeing it. I don't care what it is.

Honestly, I'm a little bit happy we didn't make that trade because I did not think Andy would go Leo. And he was one of the two I wanted with your picks, Mike. I'm just so happy you don't get him now. It kind of would have been better if you had done the trade and then been super disappointed. That would have been fun too. But I'll take Leoo and mike you get two picks to make up for not getting the one you want here's here's the problem like that's my top two is it's easy peasy

lemon squeezy that that's the two i would go with so yeah i get two back-to-back picks but now i feel like i'm down a tier you're down a a tier, but there's still... There's one I really, really want. There's two I really want. Just don't take it. That's the important thing. No, there's one I really want. Now I have to... Now my entire job is just figure out who those actors are. I don't even care about my team.

You haven't picked anybody yet, right? Or have I? Who might he have picked is what he wants to know. What was that one you thought I picked? Gene Hackman. R.I.P. He's still alive.

Still kicking. We're still doing that bit? At least when we recorded it. All right. I think Betty White's fine too right now. Oh, man. We keep playing with fire with these pre-recordings. All right. Mike. All right.. Yeah. Oh, man. We keep playing with fire with these pre-recordings. All right.

Mike. All right. Number one. So with my first pick, which he was recently in a movie with Leo DiCaprio and he is one of,

I think, the best actors of all time, at least the modern ages. Jason, you don't know who I'm picking. I'm worried.

You don't need to be. Okay. I'm taking Brad pitt that's who i was worried you were gonna take that's who i wanted you said he was recently you thought brad pitt would make it all the way back to your second pick no i did not which is why i wanted to trade i was hoping to get leo and brad pitt at your picks thankfully you didn't get one of them. So you would trade, just for the record, you'd trade Hanks for Leo and Brad Pitt. That's right. I would too. But you want to know who I wouldn't trade

Tom Hanks for? Brad Pitt and whoever this next pick is. Yeah, that's the problem. John Candy might come around to you. John Candy's a national treasure. Yeah, that's what I figured your next pick is. It's not. It's not.

I don't want to ruin the tension that we have created, but I am not taking him. So I will take... Oh, my gosh. This is an impossible situation of knowing who will... Now I'm Jason. Just pick the wrong person. That all you gotta do oh i feel like i'm 100 going to do that all right i'll take uh even though he he his prime oh andy's face is

just destroying me right now uh his prime was a little bit before my era that doesn't mean that the guy wasn't still absolutely crushing it i will take the og joker i will take jack nicholson oh okay all right that's a good pick he was on my list i i figured he would be someone that i might be toiling with at my next pick if the better i love jack nicholson so much jackal nich Nicholson. Jackle. The old Jackle. They call him the old Jackle. Jackle Nicholson. I love him so much, I don't know his name. With my next pick, I will take quality over quantity. I will take Daniel Day-Lewis.

Oh, all right. See, he is on my list, and there will be blood. What's wild about Daniel Day-Lewis is 100% his acting, just his acting ability is unbelievable. But do you want to hang out with Daniel Day-Lewis? No, no, no, no. I feel like no. He's going to be up on a big old...

I don't know why, but Mount Rushmore instead. It factors into my decision making. Do I actually want to hang out with these people? a big old uh like i don't know why but mount rushmore instead like that fat this it factors into my decision making do i actually want to hang out with these people now i don't think you want to hang out with jack nicholson either oh yes you do jack nicholson seems like a absolute right he is he jack nicholson is your hilarious grandpa i'm worried that if you hung out with jack nicholson for 10 years he may never have known you were in the room. Very possible. Yeah, that's true.

All right. So Jason gets a couple. I went with Daniel Day-Lewis. All right. Yeah. So Daniel Day-Lewis, when it comes to just quality of actor, phenomenal. I don't really enjoy his movies. They're just not fun to me.

They're always- How much did you love Lincoln, Andy? Part of uh all the daniel day lewis parts were great ironic since how much of lincoln did you see andy all the daniel day lewis parts i went to sleep for the rest exactly but i get both of my guys together in gangs in new york so it's i i'm putting them up on mount rushmore as a little bit of a combo damn You know what I mean? It's unbelievably great. I am thrilled to be here. I thought for sure that both of these guys could go to Mike. John Candy's still on the board.

You're right. John Candy is still there. I'm super excited. I love Candy. Yeah, you can RIP that one, by the way. Oh, you could go Candy. John Candy and James Cagney. They sound very similar.

I mean, it's tempting. And you have two picks. But instead, I'm going to take someone that I know Mike absolutely loves, one of his favorite actors of all time. You talk about wanting to hang out with the wily old grandpa. Dude, Harrison Ford. I can't believe you actually took Harrison Ford. You give me Indiana Jones and Ron Solo.

I cannot believe you actually took. I don't believe you actually like Harrison Ford. You're doing this in spite. You give me Indiana Jones and Han Solo. I don't believe you actually like Harrison Ford. You're doing this in spite. You're doing this to hurt me. No way. Look, you and I, I think our list of people are actually far more similar than you think. And he is next on my list. So, you know, to me, my list went Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, and then this next guy who does all his own stunts, and he's crazy in real life. Yes, take him.

But I am taking Tom Cruise. Underrated. Underrated. You can't find many people better than Tom Cruise when it comes to the variety. It's not just stunts, though. You look at natural, normal. It is just stunts. No, it's not.

Go watch Born on the Fourth of July and tell me it's stunts. He's really good. Jerry Maguire. I mean, you're crazy to think it's on the comedy. What's the movie that he was that funny? Oh, my gosh. Few Good Men is amazing. You're crazy to think he's just stunts.

I didn't draft Arnold Schwarzenegger. He just stunts. Rain Man? I mean, that's the worst take you've ever had rain man born on the fourth of july jerry mcguire a few good men i mean his stunts are great don't get me wrong the problem with that is jack reacher is that in every single movie he plays the role of tom cruise except for the ones we named. Yeah, except... When he's Tom Cruise? Yeah. Go watch Born on the Fourth of July. You have not seen

those two movies. I have seen both of those movies when Tom Cruise plays Tom Cruise. Let's just let it go. A lot of people listening, they might not have seen these movies. And they might go, oh yeah, totally. Mike's right. But for everyone who's seen those movies they're thinking that you have not seen those movies and

you're straight up blind because in those movies he was unbelievable no he played the role of ethan hunt in those movies yes so i've got tom i've got tom you can play either tom cruise or ethan hunt like ethan hunt without all the jack reacher tom hanks harrison ford tom cruise i am very happy yeah all right tom cruise is great that was the end of the whole argument i'm trying to win over here man i love tom cruise for my third pick i will take an actor that I, he just demands my attention no matter what movie he's in. It's Denzel Washington. Speaking of, a man who plays Denzel Washington in every movie. Oh, I don't care though.

Unapologetically fine with it. Give me a speech. That is so correct. Give me a speech. I don't care. It is so correct. It is so correct. I don't care.

Denzel, I want to see you give an inspiring speech to anybody in any movie for 10 minutes in a row. Denzel was next on my list. He was the dream of coming back to me. And you're 100% right. He is totally okay playing himself because he's the coolest guy in the world. One of the most underrated Denzel movies is The Hurricane. I have never seen The Hurricane. If you've never seen The Hurricane, go watch it. That's the boxing one, right?

Yeah, about Reuben Carter. No, Denzel's fantastic. All right. I'm just besmirching people to try and win. All he does is act in these movies. He's just acting. He's not even the real movies. He's just acting. He's not even the real guy. He's not even the real guy.

He keeps playing characters over and over. All right. Well, this is from a script. The person I thought Jason was going to take, which make no mistakes about it. You taking Harrison Ford has cut me deeply. thought jason was going to take which make no mistakes about it you taking harrison ford has cut me deeply like you it's like you take and leo's gone the bag of the money well i didn't even have a chance to like take leo i could have taken harrison yeah i i assume one of you would have taken jack on that run but i could be very wrong possible uh but it it does leave the person who i thought jason was

going to take to try and destroy my soul who you want you want to talk about a daniel day lewis level of method actor the dude who weighed like 80 pounds in one role only to weigh like 220 when he turned into batman i will take Christian Bale, my friends. It's a good pick from an acting perspective. It completely undermines your entire argument about Daniel Day-Lewis. Look, because you don't want to hang out with Christian Bale, and I know you don't, and you know you don't.

People say he is not the best hang. I stand corrected oh this whole draft is all over the place oh good for you oh my god yeah that's um all right that's a very good actor i mean like i said you're just putting them up on mount rush when i've got tom cruise you've got christian bale you've got daniel day lewis we're we're even on the on the don't want to hang out side. That's fair. Jason's getting more than 60 seconds on Scientology if he hangs out with Tom. No, I'm not.

This is just a work of art on the mountain, my man. Oh, man. I shouldn't say my man. That builds up Andy's team. Thank you. My man. My goodness. All right.

I am so unbelievably, I am crushed by the weight of this last pick because there's three guys. It's saying no to so many, too, that I desperately want to draft for my Rushmore. And I don't want no Teddy Roosevelt's on my Rushmore. Do people like Teddy Roosevelt? I think people like Teddy Roosevelt, but he's not on the level of those other. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln. Natural History Museum? He's a big feature there.

He's a big feature there. Who would you say is the fourth biggest president after those three? Taft is the biggest. That is an unbelievable historical burn, my friend. Unbelievable. How did you get to that so quickly? I always have Taft on the front of my mind. Well, I've given him a lot of experience.

Taft is the one who gets stuck in the bathtub, right? I've given Andy and yourself a lot of experience of quick-witted fat jokes. Unbelievable, man. Would it be JFK? Would they destroy the face of Teddy and replace it with JFK? Just cut his mustache off. You need a Mount Rushmore part two. That's what you gotta do.

You gotta get a second edition. Alright. Yeah, JFK's probably in there. Oh, goodness. Alright. I've got I've narrowed it down to the two guys that I want, because this is our Rushmore. There's really no check marks that you have to click off of the box to have made it.

This is just our personal Rushmore. Yeah, I mean, I think part of why Teddy's... I'm sorry what pictures of president taft are coming through our slack channel at the moment big dude he's look all right so he's he's on mine and i gotta cancel out the the quotient the the anti-cool quotient of christian bale i gotta get someone to hang out with i gotta get the coolestient, the anti-cool quotient of Christian Bale. You need someone to hang out with? I got to get the coolest dude in the room. And this might be a little bit more quantity over quality because I don't know if he's said no to a role in his entire life.

No, I know who he's going to be. I will take Samuel L. Jackson. He doesn't say no to Capital One or any role. Jackson is the baddest man in the room, no doubt about it. If you had to pick a random movie over the last 30 years... Sam Jackson's in it for sure.

I was going to say, and bet your house on checking the credits, whether he's in or out, which way do you go? If you're picking any actor, you're going, just give me Sam Jackson. Yeah, I'll be honest with you.

I kind of thought you might, because it's you, Mike, and because of how much you love and respect him, I thought you might go Keanu Reeves right there. I thought there was a chance you'd just put him up there because he's so cool. I told you I had three guys, and I narrowed it down to two. The second one would have been Keanu. Who's the third? I will tell you when the draft is done now I I have my final pick now who are your four Mike just so we can picture

your Mount Rushmore let's see so I have I have Brad Pitt or Al might know them I got Brad Pitt Jack Nicholson I got Sam Jackson and I got Christian Bale okay all right and right now I'm sitting with Leo DiCaprio Daniel Day Day-Lewis, Denzel Washington. And I'm having a hard time, gentlemen, because I- Oh, I know. I am now in the vortex of if I take this guy, then I'm playing into who you think I am. Oh, yeah. Do it.

Screw that crap, man. Be who you are. Be yourself. Now I feel manipulated. What? By who? You know what? If I have to manipulate you to be who you are, then so be it.

I want you to be you. It is a Mount Rushmore, and I'm going to put a classic actor in it. I'm going to put one with five Oscars and who I enjoyed watching. I'm going to take Jimmy Stewart. I'm taking him. He's on my Mount rushmore he's one of the best actors of all time he may be older i but rear window is one of my favorite movies ever oh okay tom hanks of his day that's me jimmy stewart that's not bad man that's not bad

now why do you know how to do that because he's's so iconic. I can name one Jimmy Stewart movie, and then you brought up Rear Window, and I will... It's a Wonderful Life. You know that as well. Yeah. I can name two Jimmy Stewart movies. But he's got the pedigree of being an Oscar winner for many years. So I will go with him. Did he win the first Oscar of all time?

He won the very first. There was one movie a year, and he was in them. Did he win like the first Oscar of all time? He won the very first. There was one movie a year and he was in them. So he got five. I think his fifth Oscar, he did compete with another movie. You probably had to watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington in high school. Oh my gosh, I did. You are correct. You probably did.

I blocked that PTSD from watching that thing. Goodness. And he was in a bunch of Hitchcock movies too, which are classics. Mr. Smith bores the crap out of Mike Wright. That's the name of that movie. If I saw that, I deleted it from my memory. Look, I'm not expecting you to. He always played Jimmy Stewart in the movies he was in.

I respect it. And if you actually like Jimmy Stewart, I mean, that's. What about the knives? I know that because he's like... Oh, he's in that Christmas movie, right? It's a caricature. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a Wonderful Life is the Christmas movie that people seem to like. So I'm just sticking to who I am. Good for you. Rear Window is one of my favorite movies of all time. He is an esteemed actor. What's the Hitchcock movie where the plane comes after him? I've actually seen that one. The iconic scene where he's running in

a field and then a prop plane comes after him. It might have been birds. I don't know. It's definitely not birds. We can go to Jason while we try to figure this out. Jason, get some... Man, that was tough. You took Jimmy Stewart off of my list.

I was between him and Laurence Olivier. Whatever, man. I don't care. We'll see. Now, I still want to be between. North by Northwest. Okay. I've seen it.

So Rushmore's in that movie, I think. Now, Rushmore wasn't made when Jimmy Stewart was around. Oh, man. I'm the final pick, and I'm struggling here whether to go with mine or the best. I can't wait to talk about this after your pick, too. Are you just going to take my Keanu pick? No, no, no.

Keanu wouldn't be the me pick. So I'll tell you right now who I'm deciding between. Morgan Freeman is, you you know he's not the lead but he is unbelievable his voice is number two behind samuel jackson in movie quantities as well absolutely he's at least voiced something in every movie you've seen um but i feel like to have and i realized that and and maybe i'm skewed because I came up with a comedy background and I was always so upset that comics, comic actors, didn't get any credit for being incredible at their craft. You know, you look at... I know what's coming.

Exactly. I know what's coming. And the thing is, is you look at like the Oscars, the fact that they don't have a yearly best comedic actor the way that the Golden Globes does. Wait, hold on. Hold on. You're blowing my mind right now. There's no Oscar for best comedy? Correct.

No, that's not true. That's a travesty. There's not a best comedy. That's only Golden Globes, right? Yeah. Golden Globes has it. No Oscars. Oscars don't care about comedy.

They only care about drama. So look, this is not going to be a vote getter. People are going to be like, were you hearing me until that? I just drafted Jimmy Stewart, so you're fine. Yeah. So this is really your chance to win here, Mike. But if I walked away from this, this was my plan to take the him as my fourth pick. Take the him? What are you, Starfire? Take him with my fourth pick. It's Jim Carrey. pick take the him what are you starfire take him with my fourth pick it's jim carrey but jim carrey

is absolutely on my list the best comedy actor of our generation you know we we talk about all these guys we love adam samler and chris farley and all these guys and when we go back and we look at their imdb and it's like they really had like two peak movies and right here you had a run of five or six just unbelievably great movies even movies that were maligned like cable guy that you go back and watch them later like that cable guy is great i just it's interesting that we're going actors and you took a comedian who like he he wanted so badly and like he had it inside of him that he wanted to be an actor so much that he decided that he would just destroy his career well i think the comedy just it fades eventually you you can't do the same shtick forever and and be funny and eternal sunshine

of the spotless mind are both outstanding eternal sunshine's very good i'm thinking of the majestic and that like because that was the that was less that was less good i feel like that's when it went off the rail but he could do it yeah he he he's a good enough actor and i have to have some comedy on my list and he's sonic the hedgehog uh i would leave that one off uh what was the other one he did when he uh charlie kaufman right he was oh yeah man on the moon i mean that was like a method acting experience for jim carrey i'm just giving you points here i mean, of all the comedy... It doesn't matter if you like the movie.

I don't like a lot of the movies Daniel Day-Lewis is in, but he's amazing at the movie. Leo was in the movie where he was Howard Hughes. That was 640 hours long. Oh, the AVA of that movie is great! Well, he was outstanding, but it was really long. All I remember is him pooping and peeing in jars. That's literally the only thing I remember.

And that was the best acting he did. So other actors that were in consideration i i didn't want him up on the mount rushmore but to be honest for a run there mel gibson was by far my favorite actor okay that's fair uh incredible and then clint eastwood was in consideration too was he but then i think of clint eastwood the director so much more now than i do the actor i just think of paul newman michael cain that was that was about all right yeah uh for me the guys that i was really struggling with as the aforementioned keanu reeves and a guy who i think i think he's super underrated because his

name hasn't even come up is benicio del toro oh he's so great he's so good he is freaking fantastic man like he he absolutely transforms from movie to movie he's good for sure like a gary oldman gary oldman is like yeah yeah sure gary oldman doesn't get the respect because he's not he's not the lead he's the and and because you don't even recognize him in half the movies he's in. He's so different that it's like you don't even know who he is. So we'll do a full Mount Rushmore of actresses on a future episode. And one other name left off, William Howard Taft wasn't drafted. But could have been. And you know what's funny is he used to be one of my favorite actors

because I thought he was incredible. My man, Jay Depp, Johnny Depp. Oh, yeah. But he has become a caricature. Johnny Depp is now Jack Sparrow. Yeah, Johnny Depp plays Jack Sparrow in every movie he's been. He's Jack Sparrow now. He doesn't know how to not be Jack Sparrow.

I don't blame a man for going after the bag because I know that he is getting absolutely drowned in cash to go be Jack Sparrow. But it's an unfortunate move that happened for him where he was crushing it. From a respect standpoint, yeah. Yeah, he was in incredible movies. His roles were always really diverse. And now he's Jack Sparrow. The two other guys I had on my list outside of Morgan Freeman, these were more in the vein of can do. I can't believe you took Harrison Ford.

Yeah, you know it. You turd. But Robert Downey Jr., I think, is actually phenomenal. I appreciate people that can do comedy. And here's somebody that, look, I think he's unbelievably talented. And this one might get mocked. People like him, but you wouldn't think of him on this level. But I think Ryan Reynolds is unfathomably talented.

He's just got – It's fair. It's fair to me. I think Ryan Reynolds is great. He has so much charisma. I think he's great. You can't teach that as comedy. And he can be serious.

It's just fine. Yeah. Andy's face is what I expected, but I think he's great. The two names that we'll get yelled at for on Twitter, I understand, but they're just not in my pantheon and clearly not in yours, and that's Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. Give me Al Pacino a hundred times over Robert De Niro. I agree with that.

I was wondering if they would come up. And Marlon Brando, for those that are huge Marlon Brando fans. It's me, Marlon Brando. There he is. Hello. Marlon, thanks for joining us here on the Spitballers podcast. You guys are drafting me.

For a second, I thought Sly Stallone was trying to get drafted right there. I think Marlon hates Stallone. I'm not exactly sure. Let's do this. what did we learn today oh come on we all know what i learned today what did you learn is the master of puppets come on uh i learned that thomas jefferson was the fourth member of mount rushmore today oh man yeah and uh that taft was underrated yeah no i learned that jason

has a long storied history that we're going to learn about over the next 100 episodes of this show so that's true that is it for today's spitballers episode feel free to yell at us on twitter about your favorite actor oh i'm sure the yeltsin pod it will definitely happen but i hope you enjoyed the episode and we will see you next time. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to,

check out SpitballersPod.com.