Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Tuba Talks & The Best Movie Themes Pt. II - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

Spit Hit for June 22nd, 2023: We are back with part two of the ‘best movie themes’ draft. We also talk about tuba players, assuming everyone is hitting on us, and never being looked at by anyone ...again. And for the first time in a while, we are dishing out some much needed life advice. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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Starting point is 00:00:00 On today's spit hit, we talk about tuba players. I'm sure that I have something really, really good to say about them as I always do. We talk about assuming that everyone is hitting on you and never being looked at by anyone ever again. And it's part two of our best movie themes draft. Make sure you tell your friends about the show. Enjoy. Enjoy. Andy, Mike, and Jason. Y'all getting my gut belly fused like gunk. Oh, that's great. That was outstanding. It was autobiographical.
Starting point is 00:00:57 It was. Just wanted to scat the people. Are we bringing this out then? I guess so. I guess so, says the man who brought it up look when your mind is on something and you're told to scat immediately you don't have many choices you just go just go is gonna be a problem spitballers podcast episode 193 welcome in this sometimes you just know a show is gonna happen other times you're not sure it is going to happen today's the latter because jason is uh he ate something that did not agreeing with
Starting point is 00:01:31 him not agreeing and i'm in a lot of pain i'm here for you spit what i'm pushing through the pain we'll push it no no i'm holding through the pain i'm holding strong for you, so be there for me. Would you rather life advice in our second movie theme draft? So part two of the best movie themes. Very excited about that. The first part was incredible. My team, of course. To be fair, all three teams were very strong they really really were it was funny on last episode i said oh mike your team's gonna win and then i went and i looked at my team and
Starting point is 00:02:11 i was like wait my team is awesome now you were right my team is gonna win but your team was awesome and then i looked at him and i was like this is where we're in the nitty-gritty yeah i got some i got some dark horses okay well we'll get there soon spitballerspod.com if you want to support the show we appreciate you over there instagram.com slash spitballers pod always appreciate your reviews click the plus over on apple podcast if that's where you're listening subscribe over on spotify and tell your friends about the show if you want your friends to be happier then one of the top ways you can do that is just tell them about a free comedy podcast
Starting point is 00:02:47 called The Spitballers. Well, and I want you to remember we are your friends. And if you want us to be happier, then you tell your other friends about the show. It's a double happy. It's two for one special. All right, let's get it going. Would you rather?
Starting point is 00:03:06 Nick from the website. Would you rather start every conversation you have by loudly and sternly proclaiming, I am a married man! Or end every conversation by making eye contact and saying, thank you for making me seem so smart. Oh my gosh. this is very specific they're so the i am a married man you have to declare it at the beginning yes you start the conversation with i am a married man very loudly now i am a married man
Starting point is 00:03:40 yes but this question just be you know sometimes it would make no sense like right there well i mean it's real you're really insinuating the person you're talking to has ulterior ulterior ulterior motives yeah no we got there we have we got there and that is it's a really insulting thing to no matter who you are talking to, to proclaim loudly that I am spoken for. I have no interest in you. Uh, it could be very awkward in certain situations,
Starting point is 00:04:18 especially awkward in every single circumstance. I think it's less insulting than the other one. The other one saying when you when you finish right thanking you uh thank you for making me seem so smart but at least the conversation's done okay and you can walk away and then never talk to that person again i would intentionally forget my wedding ring in the first scenario that way i have an excuse for saying what i'm saying and then i say i, I would follow it up with you. I lost it.
Starting point is 00:04:46 I lost the ring. I feel like at least there's a little bit of a compliment to it. You know what I mean? It's a compliment to yourself. Yeah. How is that a compliment for them? It is not to the person you are talking to. Under any circumstance?
Starting point is 00:05:01 Under any circumstance. Because what you are saying is, I am so incredibly appealing and attractive that I know what you're thinking, and I'm going to cut you off right there. But what if you end that phrase with a wink? Oh, I am a married man. The wink is like the grossest move in the world the wink is the worst is there any way you could save this by always wearing a tuxedo
Starting point is 00:05:29 right because then maybe you just came from a wedding if I just came from a wedding I'd have a right to say that that's a declaration of joy I have a right to say that I am a married man okay well that's a proclamation.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Yeah. But it is not... Or a just married t-shirt? I'm just trying to save this. Oh, it does say yes. The question says sternly proclaiming I am a married man. Which is the proclamation. Right. Okay. So in one of these you have to wear a tux at all times. Yes. Very fancy.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Now, ironically a tux could help the next you know the other one too like thank you for making me seem so smart no one looks dumber in a tuxedo right i've i'm not tracking here i've lost where you're going if i were wearing a tuxedo yeah and i look just so fancy i am i am top notch looking good and at the end i'm like thank you for making me seem so smart just it goes it plays in the okay okay yeah you can kind you can kind of get away with it i i see that but now i'm just imagining andy on like the pickleball, but he has to wear his tuxedo because he has committed to the bit
Starting point is 00:06:47 of every conversation he has. No, see, on the pickleball courts, saying that I'm a married man would be important because maybe I have a random doubles partner. And they may end up wanting to... You know, I'm very desirable, especially on the courts. So we know what Andy's picking. Andy knows his desire level is so high that he must proclaim.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Who's to say any random doubles partner wouldn't want to marry me? I'd want to marry me out there. Yeah. No. I'm fine. The truth is that thank you for making me seem so smart can be lovingly, jokingly sad. You can hit him with the wink after that one right oh the wink after that saves it there's really no getting away with
Starting point is 00:07:30 i'm a married man right you say that to someone and i i think i've got to go with thank you thank you for making me seem so smart brendan from patreon would you rather have everyone around you that would be your family or strange strangers, whoever, always be looking at you or for no one to ever look in your direction again? So you are invisible in the world. If no one ever looks at you, you will feel, this is like a twilight zone to me. Yeah. Like a twilight zone where you are not physically, technically invisible, but if no one ever looks at you, do you exist? Are you visible? Help me!
Starting point is 00:08:07 The always looking at you... Both of these are bad, but I get it, so would you rather. The always looking at you is a catastrophic nightmare of everyone always looking at you. Do you know who experiences that right now? I do. Not I do. It wasn't me saying that I experience that. It's the Truman Show again.
Starting point is 00:08:33 I am a married man. There's Mr. Truman Show. I wasn't saying that I do experience that, but I do know who experiences that. Do you care to answer? My answer is probably different than yours, but I do know who experiences that. Do you care to answer? My answer is probably different than yours, but I would say middle schoolers. Oh, okay. Because they truly think every place they walk in, they think everyone is watching them. But there is a sect of people that actually have this happen to them, and that is the
Starting point is 00:09:01 major celebrity. Sure. Because the paparazzi follows you everywhere you are being watched i literally just read an article about a celebrity i won't say the name but they were so what does it rhyme with uh i'm not gonna rhyme it but they were so devastated because like schmustin schmieber no it wasn't Schmuston Schmieber. What are the initials? This is why they follow these people. They literally said they went to the
Starting point is 00:09:30 beach and they had to suck in their stomach the whole time because they were so afraid of being perceived a certain shape or a certain size because their eyes are on you all the time. Would you be so self-conscious? Every action, I would never get to pick a booger.
Starting point is 00:09:45 I mean, you're just completely. I have not gone to the beach and not sucked in my stomach in years. I don't. All the time? Yes, 100% of the time I'm on a beach, I'm sucking in my stomach. How do you not leave it? You really think you're saving much there? You really think you're saving much there?
Starting point is 00:10:10 I definitely know it's happening, regardless of whether paparazzi are following me or not. It's my own shame. I don't need it in the papers to already... In the papers? How exhausted is your core when you leave the beach? I've got a lot of practice. How do you not have a six-pack? Oh, I've got a six-pack under there. I mean, it's there.
Starting point is 00:10:29 My six-pack is growing stronger and stronger, pushing my belly out. I got you. I understand. It's big guy problems. People staring at you all the time would be just the worst. It would be so much better than the alternative. I'm telling you. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Mike, I know reading this question that, no, no. No, no, no, Mike. No. I know reading this question that this seems like it's such a home run answer for you that your preference would be, hey, I would love to have no one watch me at all times. That would be great. But I genuinely think if you play that out in reality where no one ever looks towards you again in the rest of your life, I think that that would be a true nightmare of depression. It sounds great at first glance.
Starting point is 00:11:11 No, no, I don't think it sounds great. Your kids and your wife would be problem numbers. Yeah, number one and two. I get that. But list any activity. Going to a restaurant. Can you imagine a hundred people staring at you while you eat? You just don't do it.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Yeah. Is that a... No, that was not a shaming joke. Jason wants the first one. Well, yes. Oh, gosh. That level of fame sounds awful. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Oh, yeah. Awful. That's totally agreed. I will have to take the staring at me. I will have to use it to my advantage. That will be a lot of influence that I'll have on the world if I have them. And obviously, that will be the motivator to get in good shape. Sure.
Starting point is 00:12:01 When everyone's looking at me, I guarantee that'll be the thing that really gets it going. Enjoy the gym while everyone is watching every single workout you do. Home gym. Private workouts. Yeah. That's what I mean. If everyone is staring at you, I'm telling you, you will end up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:16 You will go full. Neither is our official answer. What's the Howard Hughes? Oh, yeah. I went crazy. Yeah. You'll start growing your nails out, peeing in bottles. Another DiCaprio movie that's way too long.
Starting point is 00:12:29 You just brought a conversation from off the podcast into the podcast. As a reference. Remember that? Remember that, people? Remember when we were talking about The Revenant being too long? Oh, you don't remember because it wasn't on the podcast? It was during lunch over here. I thought everybody stared at me.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Look, everybody knows that DiCaprio movies are too long anyway. He likes to do long movies. I love them. Long, great movies. I love them, Leo. Yeah, he's good. All right, we'll move on. Daniel from Patreon,
Starting point is 00:12:59 would you rather be the world's best tuba player in the world's best orchestra or an average lead guitarist in a band that's successful but never makes it big i'm confused by the successful but never makes it big because oh what you tour and you make a living but you don't make it big you're a touring that exists oh 1000 most bands probably yes that is that's the life of, if you are a true professional musician in a band, that's more than likely your life. You're playing, like you can book a tour throughout the U.S.,
Starting point is 00:13:32 and you're playing venues that hold like 100 people, 100 to 150 people, which is like when you're in them, I mean that's. Feels good. Yeah, it feels great. I'd love to rock a stadium, but it's not the worst thing, but also you are, you're in them, I mean, that's... Feels good. Yeah, it feels great. I'd love to rock a stadium, but it's not the worst thing, but also you're average. You're not great. I'm taking the tuba.
Starting point is 00:13:52 I mean, look, I like... Really? I like playing the guitar, and that would be very nice, but if I'm known as the world's... But you're not known, right? Because you're the world's best. You're known in tuba circles. All the tuba circles know that's Mr. Holloway.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Now, what do you do for a living? I'm in the world's best orchestra. End of sentence. You don't need to know. If you're in the world's best orchestra, you would never say that I'm in the world's best orchestra. What is? If they ask me. What's the world's best orchestra?
Starting point is 00:14:19 Oh, good question. Well, there's Humphrey's School of Wizarding and Witchcraft. That's my point is your notoriety level is nothing. Well, you don't think that if you look, your circle, if you're in this, it's got to be a bunch of people that respect that, right? Yes, it's a small circle. Other tuba players. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:14:39 In the tuba circles, he's huge. No, I would definitely take the guitar. And so here's the funny thing on the back of this question from daniel from patreon is like everybody wants some eyes on them or or most people want some eyes on them but you don't want to be like this crazy like truly being the the world's biggest celebrity that is a nightmare that we can't comprehend which is why so many of these people end up going insane because they just can't live any semblance of a normal life.
Starting point is 00:15:09 But if you can sell out a 100- to 200-person place all across the country, that's a pretty sweet gig. You're popular, you're beloved in much larger than tuba circles. And here's the thing. If you out there listening are an average guitar player to me you're an incredible musician you are awesome and you know what i mean like i'm like hey play a song and they can play you a song whoa that's incredible like andy i think you're a great musician i don't know if know that. Because you could play a few songs on a guitar.
Starting point is 00:15:46 I don't know how you feel about you. Better now. Right? I mean, that's all it takes to impress me as a musical guy. Can you play an instrument? Hey, tuba player, what's your favorite tuba part? And he goes... No, impress me.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Impress me. Play your best stuff. I'm playing it. So neither of you are taking the tuba? No. No, impress me. Impress me. Play your best stuff. I'm playing it. So neither of you are taking the tuba. No. No way. That makes sense because I aspire to absolute greatness. Being the best at something isn't something in your potential.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I think genuinely your path towards that is actually in playing a tuba. I think that's the easiest path forward. Yeah, I have great news for you, Andy. You could... The competition's low? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, have you ever played a brass instrument? I did play an alto sax for two weeks.
Starting point is 00:16:35 That's a woodwind. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Ah, music. I was going to... That's a reed instrument. But no, which is great news. That means you've never had to play a trumpet or anything like that? No, no, music. I was going to look. That's a reed instrument. But no, which is great news.
Starting point is 00:16:49 That means you've never had to play like a trumpet or anything like that. No, no, no. You could pick it up today, and you could finish your life still as the best tuba player of all time. The gap is not that far. It probably really is. I'm sure there are tuba players out there. Is there a musical bias coming from the two, Al Borland and the Hitman here? Do you guys have something against these instruments? No, you need the tuba.
Starting point is 00:17:12 You just don't want to be the tuba. It's not a solo instrument. Look, tuba players out there, they're getting real flustered and real mad. But here's the thing. Both of them. Here's the thing. Here's the deal. mad but here's the thing both of them here's the thing here's here's the deal you got moved to the tuba because you were like eighth chair trumpet oh no and they were and they said we really need
Starting point is 00:17:33 you need to have a tuba player you could be our best tuba player and so they move over that's how they were the only tuba player so nobody starts his tub tuba. They only end up as tuba. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you start your kid right now at tuba, he will become the best tuba player in the world. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Right, yeah. All right. Well, I've learned a lot. Do we want to move on, Al, or do you want to go one more?
Starting point is 00:17:59 Do we have any more tuba questions? Let's do one more. A tuba question? Yes. Fiona from the website, non-tuba uh would you rather gain the ability to speak five different languages or be able to understand five different languages oh speak them oh wait no no hold on hold on hold on hold on as soon as you start to answer there's a big problem with both how can you possibly speak a language if you don't understand
Starting point is 00:18:20 it you could say words but you can't string together a coherent sentence. Well, let's say you had the ability to think in English and speak in five different languages. So when you speak and you make the sound, you just comprehend it. I think that could happen. I mean, in a mystical world. But you're breaking it down.
Starting point is 00:18:41 But understanding five different languages means that you cannot communicate back. That's the question. Do you want to be able to communicate But understanding five different languages means that you cannot communicate back. That's the question. Do you want to be able to communicate out to five different language groups or get communication in from which is more valuable, right? Am I out? Yeah, that's the crux of the question. You can't have one without the other.
Starting point is 00:18:56 No, I get it. I get it. In reality, you cannot do this one without the other. But I understand the question is what Andy's saying, which is. you walk into france you want to understand people talking to you or do you want them to understand you talking to them which is more valuable but if they understand what i'm saying to them mike can't handle this no i cannot because if i if they can understand me that means that i can okay i can communicate in that language which means I would understand it when it comes back. I've got a different way to word this.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Please help me. You have an electronic device that can translate one direction. Okay. So when you're talking, it can either translate what you're speaking into their language so they can understand you, but you won't be able to necessarily understand what they say back or vice versa.
Starting point is 00:19:42 They have it, and they've got the electronic device. Well done, Jason. You really communicated that well. Did Mike understand it? Oh, I got it. We just had to completely change the question to make it work. But what would be more valuable? Like if I'm going to travel, which I mean,
Starting point is 00:19:58 if you understand languages one direction or the other, traveling seems like what you're doing to bring value to that skill other than showing it off at parties so which i at parties being able to speak it is the one that you want because then you can show it off but what's more value isn't it more valuable if you're going to a place that you don't understand anything anyways to be told stuff than you telling them yes i would i think i want to understand the languages i want to be able to understand it i want to be able to understand if i am uh in it's just me and then there's a couple people speaking a different language
Starting point is 00:20:34 i want to keep taps yeah don't don't talk about don't don't be talking that garbage in french about me that's a nice that's a nice little extra feature of being able to hear the languages. I also think there's a problem. If you could speak the language but not understand it, you'd really come across as a jerk. Because you'd be speaking this language and they would answer you and you'd be like, I don't know
Starting point is 00:20:58 what you're saying. I would like that baguette. And then they're trying to tell you we don't have any more baguettes. You just keep repeating yourself over and over, there's obviously going to be a gap here where there's a problem. One party does not understand the other. It's going to hand motions at that point. Well, that's what I was going to say is, is it better to, is it easier to try to explain something with hand motions or if you could talk to someone to comprehend what they're saying back to you.
Starting point is 00:21:27 I think it's easier your direction outward. But, I mean, thumbs up, thumbs down, I understand. Oh, yeah. You don't have to communicate outward. Yeah, so you want to be the charade-er. Yes. Der. The charader, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:40 All right. I agree. The charader? So we're going to understand five languages. That's what I'm doing. Not as cool at parties, but good for traveling. Say something. Say something in another language.
Starting point is 00:21:50 Watch me. All right, let's move on. I understood that. All right. Spitmallers to the rescue jordan from twitter my wife constantly wants to rearrange the house we just got done rearranging it a month ago how do i get out of having to move all the furniture once again i don't know if you gentlemen have someone in your life that is like this but i do okay now fortunately for me it's not my wife but i get to watch my father suffer with this oh no my mom and maybe not suffer might be over overstating sure but endure it my mom loves to rearrange and to repaint oh okay that's that's a that's
Starting point is 00:22:43 a different level my mom lives her life looking for a justifiable reason to repaint a room so if you get a new chair we should probably repaint the room okay yeah you got a new mat for your chair we got to repaint the room now and she loves it and she loves it here's a huge point of clarity because i i deal with some of this as well but when she says okay we got this new chair we need to repaint the room does she a repaint the room b look to hire someone to repaint the room or c say we should repaint the room now you do it dad combo of a and c correct combo of a and c because she can't move all the furniture. So you're baking it in where he's got to help with the furniture.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Now, the best part of this is at one point in the past, she had painted the room she now dislikes. Right? Right. Because it was her design to begin with. So now it is not good. Then it was very good. Yeah, but times have
Starting point is 00:23:46 been flow. I mean, there's things I liked in the past that I wouldn't want now. And I remember a day back in the early 2000s where we had these, we put up these really nice like regal curtains and they were great for the time. Now I'm like, it would look so stupid. Now this was cool as a kid because I got my room like
Starting point is 00:24:01 all redone all the time and it was neat. That sounds fun. It was fun as a kid. Oh, well, let's putone all the time and it was neat that sounds fun it was fun as a kid oh well let's put the bed here let's put the desk there let's paint it blue let's put up whatever the main piece of advice that I have for Jordan here is uh is furniture pads you can slide the sliders you can slide them you just never take them off of the furniture pads you don't buy the you just leave them you got the couch and you get little feet underneath your four corners of the couch and then whenever she wants to rearrange much easier you just got to get rid of carpet i mean is there slide around all your hardwood floor so i'm trying to think through it for for our guy jordan here in your house think
Starting point is 00:24:43 of your house right now of stuff that you can actually move okay like because i mean there's gonna be like your television and whatever wall unit or thing like that has to be on that wall that you can't really usually speaking you can't really move it is there a piece of furniture in your house that is just you look at it and go, I will never, ever move that again. My bad. Okay, so we both have one, and I probably have like four. Your piano is heavy, man. So like a half where it's up against the wall? Yeah. Okay, so not on wheels?
Starting point is 00:25:17 I mean, technically the front two corners are on wheels, but they're useless wheels. I have one of those. Those piano wheels are for show. I have mats underneath them. Those legs will snap before the wheels roll. I don't know how they designed them that way. Why do they even pretend to put wheels on these things?
Starting point is 00:25:36 They don't work. So that's mine. And you said your bed, because you have a bed that's like over 100 million pounds or something. I have the heaviest bed in the world. Yes. Like your bed frame? Well, so I've got the bed frame that like does the lift and the, you know, it's so it's got that and then the frame around it. And there's just so many pieces to it.
Starting point is 00:25:55 I don't want to ever deal with that. Rearranging that is a, it's a, that's an evil thing. My parents had me help them move so many times that all their furniture 100 100 oak it was credence it was a good old days oh credence is for days credence is that i don't even know what you use these like 12 foot long things with a single door on the front but i know you can't move it it was at least two tons. Yeah, that's a problem. Yeah, so Jordan, buy from Ikea. That's step one.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Yes, there you go. You can move that with one arm. Yeah. Like fully built. Really a strong breath. Right. Step two is have kids. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Why is it? Oh, because they'll move. They'll move stuff with her instead of you. You can get your kids to help move stuff? Sure, at a certain age. I mean, it's just like growing them to help you with the farm work. I mean, why do you think people had kids? I mean, if you have a boy, you just challenge the masculinity.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Yeah, it's a hot tip. But you can't lift that. But otherwise, it's a fake chronic back problem. Ooh. Although that, like, if you're a golfer or anything like that, But otherwise, it's a fake chronic back problem. Oh. Although if you're a golfer or anything like that, it's going to be a problem. You will need an acupuncturist. The web of lies is going to have to grow. My back is acting up again.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Haven't you seen me wear that brace? No, I haven't. Would it help him to move to Manhattan? How many times can you rearrange a little flat? Smaller place is better, probably. Smaller place, you just got a few things. Even if she wants to rearrange every couple days. What if you end up in a walk-up and
Starting point is 00:27:33 then there's this new piece of furniture that you've got to bring that thing up for flights? It's a challenge. Divorce. All right, Elizabeth from Patreon. My husband and I would like your official ruling on robot vacuums. Yep. Are they worth having?
Starting point is 00:27:48 Are they a sufficient replacement for regular vacuuming? Or are they a complete waste of money that requires more time to fix and coach than just vacuuming the house in the first place? I won't say who's on what side, but I will say he doesn't do any of the cleaning. I got to tap out. I've never robo-vacuums. I've lived that life. I have lived that life as well.
Starting point is 00:28:10 I've got a clear and obvious correct answer. I think we both hate them. I love the theory. Yes. They are the worst. They're not good. Are they? They don't do crap.
Starting point is 00:28:21 They have this little bit. They get in the way. They have a little bit. Here's what's going to happen when you get a robot vacuum, okay? You're going to set it up. Maybe even you go through all the, like, I'm going to set the boundaries so it knows exactly where to go in my house and do all this. Then you're going to go to bed.
Starting point is 00:28:33 You're going to set it to run while you're asleep. When you wake up and you look at the charger where it's supposed to be, it ain't there. It's stuck somewhere. Yeah. It has done nothing. But yet, while your whole floor is dirty, the bin is completely full of junk. It can't pick up anything else. This thing breaks all the time, doesn't vacuum in the right spots,
Starting point is 00:28:52 and you can even take it like, let's say you spilled a bunch of frosted flakes in a specific area. There's a mode where you could go put it on top, and you hit the spot clean. It doesn't ever go in the right spot ever. So then you're going to end up getting your vacuum out and going and vacuuming over the spots it missed. I mean, Jason summed it up very well. I would say that most of the time what I did with my robot vacuum, and I've had a couple of them stupidly, was try to declog it or try to cut whatever strands of something that would stop it from spinning.
Starting point is 00:29:27 There's always strings apparently in everybody's house. We've all got so many strings that we didn't know about. But no, I don't think the technology, this is like Tesla 10 years before it was worth driving. We need the technology to go up, up, up. It is a brilliant idea. Just have the house vacuumed every night while I sleep, but it doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Have you seen some of the new, they've got new ones that have mopping and vacuuming together with bins, with cleaning. Oh, you've bought that. Yeah, I bought that. So you keep falling into the trap. Oh, and I will again, because one day, Mike, one day they're going to get it right.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Word on the, I'm getting this in. Yep, yep, yep. Those strings are called hair. No, no, no, no, no. Literally, I'm telling you, I've had robot vacuums I think five different times in my life because I keep falling for the trap. When you let it run for a week and then you go to try to clean that brush, there are literal strings.
Starting point is 00:30:29 I don't know what the strings are from. There's just strings everywhere. Apparently in my house, we have a lot of strings. Your wife is a seamstress, is she not? It's not thread, though. I don't even know how to explain it. Magic strings. Is this a bad time to the spider webs to bring up that
Starting point is 00:30:45 this show brought to you by Roomba I wish that they were better that technology is great but we're not there yet Mike I'm sorry well I'm glad because I've I've never gone in one more here J.E. Brill from Twitter I am trying to decide between two similar jobs. Same role, same pay. Oh, this is some real life advice. But one... That's the name of the segment, man. No, I know, but it means I'm ring truer. One is for a startup. The other is for a very large and established company.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Which should you choose and why? Oh, man. I got my answer. I'll wait to hear your guys. Well, look, I... Stage of life. now i feel like i'm giving real advice yeah which is not as fun i'll just say this there is no such thing as security now that doesn't mean that a large and established company doesn't offer you benefits that are different than a startup because there are some benefits there like the large and established means that that you probably have really good insurance
Starting point is 00:31:48 and you probably have very structured vacations and bonuses. Some of those things might exist there. But don't pretend that it's secure. I grew up thinking that big companies were super secure and people worked there for 20, 30 years, get your retirement, and you're done. All I've done my entire life... I think it used to be that. It did used to be that,
Starting point is 00:32:08 but now it's more like you're part of a big company, so you think that, but then they lay you off because they can move work overseas, and then you can't find another job. So I think that unless... If you're doing it for security, it's a bad decision to go with the large company. And if you're doing it for fun,
Starting point is 00:32:24 it's still a bad decision because big companies have red tape and boring procedures go with a startup play ping pong half your day but no ghost money uh yeah yeah yeah make sure you're actually real money paid paid real money and then you have a company to grow with you know what i mean maybe someday it'll be the very large and established company and you were there at the ground floor. And you can quit and go to the other company. That's right. You're always able to exit and just go next door. That was going to be my advice is if you are qualified currently for the very large established
Starting point is 00:32:54 company, you're likely qualified for that company yet again if the startup fails in two years. That's a good point too. So bet on yourself, Mr. Brill. Play some ping pong. Start up. All right. Is that the requirement?
Starting point is 00:33:14 Is that what separates a large company from a startup? Is just a ping pong table? A large and well-established company will never have company ping pong. Unfortunately. If it has company ping pong, then you know it is. There's still a startup? It's still a startup, no matter the size and then once they they come in and they pack it up you know they've made the transition they're curmudgeon now yeah a little bit of a question here yeah we used to have a ping pong table we don't anymore we're very well established guys
Starting point is 00:33:39 we're super big that's good to know the spitballers draft we are throwing your headphones in so you can hear music Throwing your headphones in so you can hear music. Listen, Mike. We are drafting the best music themes part two. Yeah. And one of the, look, I said it on the last show, I would love to be playing these themes for you. Our legal counsel, NL, has told us that that's probably not advisable.
Starting point is 00:34:19 So you will just play it for yourself. Well, look, if I, for some reason, can't summon the tune because we have so many tunes crossing streams here. Sure. Then it's going to be great when you forget one, Mike. Like, for instance, let's say you had the number one pick. Right. And you knew the song you wanted to get, but you couldn't recall it. But then you put on the music and you hear.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Oh, I wasn't sure where it would go. It's at the top of my list for part two. Yeah, I mean. That is E.T., right? Yes, it is E.T. Another J. Willie. Yes, another John Williams. That will be the first pick here.
Starting point is 00:34:57 E.T. was an egregious absence from the last episode. you say that that's fine from the last episode so way back a week ago that was with my final pick I was torn between Terminator which I took at the time and E.T. which is a great pick yeah E.T.
Starting point is 00:35:20 is yeah alright Terminator's great too they're all great E.T.'s whimsical, makes you feel like a kid. All right. I am up. I am sad. That was one of the ones I really wanted. I'm going to go with Mission Impossible.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Okay. Okay. That one was tough for me. Because it is one. I will completely allow it. It is definitely a movie theme. It was a TV theme first. But I'm going to allow it. I'm going to allow it.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I just want people to understand. You're speaking very authoritarian. I want people to know when they go to the polls. Oh my God. That song was a television theme first. Yes, but much like many other shows, it was amplified to the polls. Oh, my God. That song was a television theme first. Yes, but much like many other shows, it was amplified in the movies. It was orchestrated in the movies.
Starting point is 00:36:10 If you want to take the Limp Bizkit version, then I will allow it. No, I will be taking the orchestrated version. Yeah, I mean, they did use the same melody and sound. The whole song was the same, but it was in a movie. And orchestrated i'm going with mission impossible pretend that was not on my list and make fun of your pick all right mike you have two picks all right so oh gosh there is the game. Because I feel like there's one... Whatever.
Starting point is 00:36:49 I'm just going to... We're just going to go with the heart here. I don't know which order I'd prefer these ones, but I have two picks, so it doesn't really matter. With the first pick, I will take what has evolved into a blockbuster franchise. Dang it. You don't, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:07 That could be several movies. But these movies involve a pirate. Oh, okay. Okay, so yeah, I'm going to go with the Pirates of the Caribbean. Shouldn't they have stopped sooner? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure.
Starting point is 00:37:22 But they kept making money. They should have stopped where Indiana Jones stopped, at three. Yes. Right. It's funny how some movies, if they go too far, the originals maintain their greatness. And I feel like that one, somehow the later movies also stripped the early ones of their greatness. The first one is so good.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Which the first one's very, very good. Now, remind me, the pirates. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. boom, boom, boom, boom. That's great. Yeah. I mean, that's pirate music.
Starting point is 00:37:51 No, it's good. You can hear the swords clinking and clacking. Yes, as the pirates often do. And so I will go with that pick, which is a full orchestrated masterpiece into something that was created simply on a synthesizer machine i wanted to take it number one but you did he was there don't do it oh and i will take beverly hills Oh, it's so good. I mean, if you... Like, I feel like there are plenty of people, plenty. In fact, maybe the majority of our audience have never watched Beverly Hills Cop.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Half... I don't know. That's a great... I'm curious. I've never seen it. Any of it? Never. That's inexcusable, mind-blowing.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Do you go, so, okay, to Fresh Face over here. Would you recommend going back to number one, or are you going to two? I'm going to go to two. I'm going to go to two. But two and then one, because you'll be like, I want more of this. What's great about this? But you still know the song. Even if you haven't seen the movie.
Starting point is 00:39:05 What's great about it? Well, a lot of kids know it now because of the stupid frog. Ring, ding, ding, ding, ding. He had his own version. But the Beverly Hills, the Axl F, I think it's called, it's either Axl F or Axl Foley. You can name that tune if you have the right synthesizer tone. That's like one note.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Yeah, you know immediately. Oh, yeah, that's like one note. You know immediately. Oh, yeah, that's the Beverly Hills Cop song. Now I've got to find a new part. All right, so you don't get that either, Jason. All right, I'm back on the clock. You could have left me E.T. I am going to go with, I'm going to give Danny Elfman some credit here. Okay. I'm going to give the 1989.
Starting point is 00:39:42 I think Elfman was Mission Impossible. Batman. I'm going to give him credit again. I'm going to give him credit again. I'm going to give him credit again. Okay, okay. Batman from 1989. Yes. Do-do-do-do-do.
Starting point is 00:39:51 So moody. Do-do-do-do-do. It's so spectacular. So Keaton Nicholson and that Batman. Yes. It's wonderful. It's a fantastic team. I recall.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Plus, they really started the series. I mean, they really started the, I mean, Adam West has this place, but the movies and the, that was just great. Did you see that in the theater? No, I did not because I was not old enough. Oh, yeah. I was very young, and that was like a big deal of my my pops who was a super batman fan brought me to the movie theater to see it and i my biggest memory of the movie was so i
Starting point is 00:40:33 mean i'm we can we can vet the age but i six maybe seven so i mean i got a i got a little kid brain and the intro is like just them you know doing like this weird computer stuff over the logo where it's just it's the batman and i had no idea i had no idea what was going on and it was like the longest intro i'd ever seen in my life yeah i remember that where am i i remember that what they were really into they were into incredibly long interest in the 80s that intro was like you were getting the nieces of the sound designer the assistant sound designer They were into incredibly long intros in the 80s. That intro was so long. You were getting the nieces of the sound designer, the assistant sound designer, in the opening credits. But it's a great song.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Yeah. I'm going to go back to the 80s. You're like a man who doesn't know what to pick. No, no, no. Well, there's a lot to pick here. But I think I'm going to go back to the 80s like you guys were just saying. Long intro music. And there's a couple bangers in here their theme song is amazing but sometimes when you think of this movie you also think of another specific song okay and this movie's coming back out oh is
Starting point is 00:41:37 it oh okay i'm going up in the air yeah oh a top gun how's it and how's that one go jay uh well highway to the danger zone is what my brain goes to um yeah like you're that would like when the guitar kicks in it goes it goes what yeah wait what did you do what did? You're the one supposed to hop in here and help us out with this. Do you remember it? Yeah. Top Gun? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was doing.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Yeah. Yeah. Check the tape. We know they can. All right. What's your next pick? My next pick is, I believe. That was so good. Check me on this one.
Starting point is 00:42:22 That's a good pick. I think it's Steve Vai. For Top Gun? Yeah. Al will look that up for me. I think Steve Vai or Petrucci. Or no, no. Stanley Tucci.
Starting point is 00:42:34 Yeah, it was Stanley Tucci. I'm seeing Top Gun, Anthem, Harold Faltermeyer. No, but who's the guitar player on the track? Steve Stevens? Oh, I thought it was Vai. Sorry. Cool story. Now, this one is one where I know I love.
Starting point is 00:42:50 It doesn't quite have the same hook, and I'm hoping, Mike, that you can recall this. Okay. I know you've heard it a kajillion times. It is so thematic for things that at least Mike and I desperately love. They even have a land in Disneyland. Yeah, okay. But the Avengers... Yes!
Starting point is 00:43:16 It's the Marvel stinger now. And it's good. It is. It's very good. It took a long time for me, though. After seeing the first Avengers movie, I thought it was a totally forgettable motif. And I was like, I'm not into this.
Starting point is 00:43:33 It's stuck. Over time, Marvel is in my heart now. It does associate with the memory of being an actor. So it definitely has an emotional connection. But yes, now when i hear that line i'm like oh yeah i'm about to see an incredible movie all right i am back up then and you are all right i'm gonna go with lord of the rings okay that one i can't sing I don't remember. I heard what he was doing. You brought the flutes in.
Starting point is 00:44:20 I was there. Key off. So that's where I'm going to go with Lord of the Rings. That's really good. I love the lord of the rings music it's on my list but i couldn't remember what it was that's the main hook yes that is i i i felt like i went and i i listened to like three minutes of their intro theme song and i and they never got to the hook no that's the hook is that one yeah all right mike you're back all right jack excellent i figured this one would come back because it's somehow is it's not at the whoop i'm dropping stuff it's not at the level that it
Starting point is 00:44:55 should be uh the movie is fantastic but and in the uh the main theme from it is now like i think starting to build like a lot of people use this for, like, if they're making TikToks and reels. I mean, I'm probably getting targeted because I like space stuff. But the theme song from Interstellar is something that I can fire. I go to YouTube. This song, Loop for an Hour. It's that type of song where you just have it go. Yeah, because it's got different highs and lows.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. That one you can't really do the melody because you need the other part of the music to create the tension in it. But it is fantastic and really makes, and takes Interstellar to a whole new outer space. Yeah, I wanted a space pun in there. Yeah, I think that when we look at these great classics, that music is unbelievable. It's really great. I remember watching it being like, this is awesome.
Starting point is 00:46:00 That movie's great. But if you don't, if you're the composer and you decide not to just put in a super hook. No, the hook is there. Is it though? Yes, over time. Yes. The hook is there. We need some more time between the movie and later on.
Starting point is 00:46:19 There's also no sequels. That's a hook. Sure. I can agree with that. I don't think it's a prototypical theme, but it's a very good theme. It's an awesome score. Yeah. It's just not.
Starting point is 00:46:32 It doesn't have the memorable hook. It sucks. Exactly. You got one more, Mike? I have one more, and I am really torn because this is the end. Dude, you have to. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's in the running for me.
Starting point is 00:46:49 It is in the running for me. I mean, it will happily go undrafted if you don't give it any credit. I totally understand that. Fine. I will take it because it's so fantastic. I will take Blade Runner by Evangelist, who is also the person who wrote Chariots of Fire, which I'm sure you guys would much prefer Chariots of Fire. The movie.
Starting point is 00:47:14 I don't know about the music. The music was great in Blade Runner. If I can. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, that was great. I remember that part of the movie. That did put me to sleep.
Starting point is 00:47:27 All right. You need the YouTube shouting and stuff to stay awake. I played... Smash subscribe. Oh, my gosh. I played the game with my final pick. Blade Runner? It's a good game.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Not your final pick. No. I played the game because this would have been my number four pick in the last draft. But I knew I could make it all the way through this draft and make it my number four pick. Interesting. I actually think it's one of the absolute best movie songs ever. And that is... And there's a game?
Starting point is 00:48:00 No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying I'm playing the game of our draft. Oh, okay. But I know neither of you are going to pick it. Oh, no. I'm saying I'm playing the game of our draft. Oh, okay. But I know neither of you are going to pick it. Oh, good. Which is the theme from Last of the Mohicans. Yes. Which I think is honestly one of the best scores.
Starting point is 00:48:14 And they play it. You know some movies, they have a main theme, and they kind of use it every once in a while, but very rarely. It's like through the whole movie is the song. I mean, it just keeps coming back up. What is it? I can't help you. Yeah, I can't.
Starting point is 00:48:30 That's not helpful. You didn't even let me get even close to getting into it. Oh, I'm sorry. It sounds good. It sounds good. It sounds good. I never saw Last of the Movies. I've never seen it either. I feel like it's...
Starting point is 00:48:50 Go watch it. I actually watched it within the last... Hold up. For the very first time, I watched it within the last five years. Oh, man. I don't care. And it held up completely. It's a fabulous movie, and the score makes half the movie.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Is that Costner? No. Then I'm out. Daniel Day-Lewis. How about in again? Ooh. Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis. How about in again? Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah, he's the main character. Sounds pretty dark.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Oh, okay. I'm in. Now do you know it? The movie was too dark, so they went with the circus song. Now, hold on, Al. Just on the off chance you've seen this movie. Have you seen Last of the Mohicans? I have not. Say no way. Do yourself a favor. Pull up the off chance you've seen this movie, have you seen Last of the Mohicans? I have not. Say no way. Do yourself a favor.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Pull up the main theme. Well, what about Brooks? Brooks, have you seen Last of the Mohicans? You're a movie guy. Of course. No, I haven't. Oh, gloom in your face. I want to now, though.
Starting point is 00:49:36 I know the theme, though. Now, do you actually know the theme? No. Or you were just making fun of me, too? No, I'm just making fun of you. Okay. Yeah, you're a real funny guy. I have heard great things about it.
Starting point is 00:49:48 It's just one of those, I missed it. Missed it. All right, so I am up with my last pick. And I'm a little surprised this made it all the way through. And maybe it's... I think we're going to find out why. I'll bet we are. But Ghostbusters.
Starting point is 00:50:07 It's on my list. I mean, Ghostbusters is one of the most iconic... How's that go again? Mike? I felt that one felt kind of like cheating. Yeah. I was like, that's a radio hit. But that is the song that's ghostbusters i mean who
Starting point is 00:50:26 are you gonna fault who you're gonna go what i said fault for taking the pick but yes it was uh who you're gonna call yeah et top gun the avengers ghostbusters for jason i went with mission impossible batman we got to specify that one yeah you do because dark knight was on my list uh lord of the rings and the Last of the Mohicans, Mike with Pirates of the Caribbean, Beverly Hills Cop, Interstellar, and Boar Runner. Do you like what I did there? I did.
Starting point is 00:50:53 I did. All right. What did we learn today? We learn anything today? Yeah, I learned the reality is you should always uh work with ping pong tables and then quit and go somewhere bigger if you need to yeah i i think that that's good advice i think we gave very very good advice today i think jason still thinks he's on the truman show that's what i learned yes and i learned that i know i am i I learned the robo vacuums are still a waste of money.
Starting point is 00:51:26 That's true. Well, to be fair, I haven't bought one in like a year. So let me try it again. Try the new technology. Pay more. Make sure you let us know what other themes we forgot. I know that there were other good ones. Gladiator was on the list.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Godfather. Psycho. Requiem for a Dream. All right. Leave it in the comments. We'll catch you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast.
Starting point is 00:51:54 To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out

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