Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Spit Hits: Vampire Allergies & The Best Movie Themes - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Spit Hit for May 29th, 2023: On this episode, Andy, Mike, and Jason discuss visually impaired driving, airplane atrocities, and what it means to die from old age. Then they draft the ‘Best Movie Themes’. And spoiler - this is a two part draft so make sure to come back next week! Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Hello, you beautiful spit wads out there. I hope you're enjoying the holiday. I know we are with our families. We're celebrating. We're enjoying Look, probably having a little barbecue. Jason's probably floating in a pool somewhere But in the meantime, you can enjoy a spit hit episode from the archives and guess what? It's probably pretty funny. So enjoy What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Skin them a rink-a-dink-a-dink-a-doo. Yes, sir. Jason. Skin of a rink. Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink. Ooh. Yes, sir. I love you.

I liked it a lot. Not a complete original, but. No, that was great. That's how innovation works, Mike. The best artists are thieves. I tried to play that card and you guys called me a plagiarist. Please keep it down. You're confusing plagiarism

with inspiration. Welcome into the spitballers. Mine goes ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding. Mike Wright, Jason Moore, Andy Holloway, Al Borland here, Judge Giamatti in the house, I think. I think he's here.

Yeah. Welcome into the Spitballers episode 192, Would You Rather? That's a great question. And we are beginning the, I don't know if we've ever done two drafts in a row where it's a part one and a part two. I'm going to say we haven't. We've done enough shows where I've forgotten all of them. We we have i was wrong real quick we have but we did not know at the time i believe we it was either playing it yeah it was and it might have been also music related it makes sense i think it was uh television theme songs oh okay or sitcoms i can't recall but

we've done it catch this catch this we're this. We're going to do movie themes. Way different. Today. But we were getting into the lists and starting to think about this draft. And, well, there's a lot. It's not fair. And it's emotional. To only draft 12.

Because if you're drafting the 12 best, your 12 favorite, let's not call them best. Right. 12 favorite, you know. Movie themes. Movie themes, soundtrack scores, what have you, then what you're really doing is insulting about 50 to 60 other incredible

movie themes. So that's what we're doing today. You can find us, spitballerspod.com support the show. If you do that, if you become an official Spitwad supporter, you get to contribute all of your ideas and we will take them. We'll be inspired by them we won't thieve them no no i also i read as they say i read all the names of every patreon supporter

every morning i wake up i just read through the names and do you yeah i just i just think about you um it's usually toilet time and i just read the names and so thank you for your support. So somebody's name's getting read when the plop happens. Right. All right. Let's get it going. Would you rather? AP Scott from Patreon says, Would you rather sit next to someone on a plane who cannot control their extremely potent gas or someone that has to use their barf bag?

Oh, man. Well, this is, I mean, extremely potent. This isn't just potent gas. This is extremely potent. I also think that the issue here is usually when someone uses their barf bag, that's more of like a one and done a if this is a three-hour flight right not just you're not just barfing for three hours like that you're you didn't get on the plane if you've got the flu this is you want the worst smell for a short time or a pretty bad smell for a long time well it's not just the smell right you're talking sound yep smell visual there's no visual on a fart, I hope.

That's called a problem. Yeah, that's totally different. Are you a sympathetic puker? I am a sympathetic puker. And that's the problem. That's why I can't go with that one. I am pretty solid. I do have a story related to this for the barf bag.

And not the proudest moment of my life. Was this you? No, it was not me. I was not the barf bag and not the proudest moment of my life was this you no it was not me uh i was not the barfer uh but we were i was on an airplane with my my wife and my father uh my wife was very pregnant at the time and we were we were flying back and we we get on the plane and she had we had some smoothies or something and it was just it was not sitting going well it was not sitting right what color were the smoothies uh that part i don't remember probably probably green yeah okay go on we said a different color but yeah and it was like you could the energy of like you could definitely read the aura of like,

oh, we got a ticking time bomb situation. Just please not on the plane. And like if you've listened to this show for any length of time, I have anxiety. I specifically like flight anxiety is the first thing I do in an airplane. Sit down, crank on the AC, and I make sure that the barf bag is there. I've never had to use it, but it's like... It's a peace of mind thing. Yeah, it's a security blanket.

I have to know that it's there. That's what I do with the airbag in my car. I make sure it's installed correctly every time I get in it. But anyway, so we get to that time and... Barf time. Yeah, and my wife is scrambling. And my father, who was kind enough to give me the anxiety who he also has we just start i mean full backs to my wife

we are pretending that this is this is not happening so my my wife was like This is not happening. So my wife was like, it was like seven. Seven months pregnant. It's just barfing. And we're like, I don't know this lady. Hand in front of the eyes.

Back turned. Your dad too? Oh yeah. We could not. Where was she sitting? In the middle? Yeah. Oh!

We couldn't shut down from both sides. We could not handle what was happening right next to us. We had to pretend that it was not going on. So we didn't want a waterfall effect here. Right. You didn't want this to spread. Thank you.

Domino barf for the best. But yeah, not my proudest moment as a husband and not hers either. Really? No, no, no, no. So you have already sat next to someone on a plane who had to use the barf bag. So ignoring them is the strat. Yes. And you were able to succeed.

You were able to. I was. Okay. He had a bunch of gas right after, though. You got to plug ears. La, la, la, la, la, la. It's not happening. Smelling someone's fart on a plane is the worst i i mean it is especially when it's bad when it's not a one

and done when it's when it's like every five ten minutes coming in like the tide yeah exactly it's coming in okay i gotta reprieve oh here it is again and you always are wondering who is it who is it yes you're looking around is it that dude you always are wondering, who is it? Who is it? Yes, you are. You're looking around. Is it that dude? You're always blaming the dudes because it's a dude. You're worried that someone's going to think it's you. Oh, for sure.

If I can smell it. Well, definitely didn't fart recently. I'm the big guy, right? Like, everyone is blaming me. Wait, do you get typecasts? Oh, I'm sure. Big dudes got big farts. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, man. So, we just flew recently. I've never farted more on a plane in my life. I mean, ever. Did you smell it? Oh, if it had smelled, I would have shut it down. I don't do smelly farts around other people. You're going to blame me like I'm the one farting on the plane.

Okay, so I was farting on the plane. Yeah, it's called typecasting. I get it. You're probably right, but I will never. Big guys, big farts. Look, I get one opportunity for a fart. You get one. If it stinks, I don't care how bad it hurts, you're locking that up.

I'm not doing that to others. Now I know I can't fall asleep because you know what's going to happen. Oh, you worry about that, don't you? Oh, I very much worry about that. Sleep farts. but I was so happy because I was it was it was clean it was pure we were we were fine I farted every 30 seconds for three and a half hours and I'm talking like I don't know where it was coming from it was incredible work my body was doing but nobody knew nobody knew my tons of root beer floats right before the flight yeah so um getting back to the question now wait oh real quick real quick yeah we know al borland he's

got some sinus issues right like he can't necessarily smell right all the time if you become that person someday in your life then i won't even test it oh you will that's what i was gonna ask because it's not fair ever to make someone else smell your i mean you will never smell it at that point. Right. Well, yeah. And if it never smells to you, then... It's like a tree falling in the forest. No one will ever blame you because you will never react.

Ooh. Don't pass the lie detector test. I don't think many people react to their own farts in public. Whoa! See what I did? Oh, good God. My bad. I think I would rather be around someone who pukes and gets it.

I would fully turn the back, Mike. Thank you. Now, not necessarily my wife. You'd be surprised when the action starts happening. My wife wouldn't blame me because she knows that I'd be so on the edge myself. But I'm going to throw this out there. You said you'd rather have it be over with. That's presuming something.

You're not baking in the fact that. It could happen again. And even if it doesn't, you always are waiting for the moment when it could. There's a barf anxiety. The second you see those people just move slightly. Or maybe they think they're done and then they take the snacks that the stewardess offers. Oh, I'd slap their hand. And then you're like, no, don't you do that.

Yeah, absolutely not. No peanuts for you. Take the shrimp cocktail. Yeah, but I think I would take the bar for over the farta because if it's potent gas and I know I'm smelling someone's innards for hours no no no not acceptable Kevin from the website would you rather have everything in your life be hot or cold it applies to everything food showers weather so you're living in a you've gone to a new planet right and this planet it's all hot or it's all cold interesting so there's some great cold things and some great hot things. And you don't get.

You usually don't like to cross. Do you want a real hot meal while it's hot? What? Yeah, I mean. Do you want a cold smoothie when you're already cold? No, that's true. That's true. If you're cold, you're not looking for ice cream.

Yeah, you're looking for the opposite. Andy is. But we are not looking for ice cream when we're cold right looking for a warm it'll warm me right up yeah looking for a hot chocolate um there are certain things that like weather i'm gonna i'm a cold over high i hate being high i hate it hate it hate it it's pretty much half of my life is just hating the heat and stop wearing polos sure i'll go shirtless thank you great idea start wheeling polos um have you ever considered like tank life the shirtless overalls oh i have not i don't i don't and only them yeah um maybe i'll try that tomorrow maybe

i'll come in tomorrow with some shirtless overalls and see how it works. I guess maybe the denim might be hot. Someone's got to make a nice... That'd be a nip warning. A nice cloth, like a seersucker overalls. Like some corduroy overalls is what we're saying. It's supposed to be hot, too. Yeah, maybe I'll just do...

Linen. You need a linen. Maybe the wrestling outfit is basically that. Yeah, that's basically overall shape, right? A little tight. It is. What were we talking about? I don't know.

Oh, the hot or cold. I know you don't like being hot, right? I hate it. But you're not cold to the point of uncomfortable very often either here in Arizona. So when you've been cold to the point of discomfort right is that discomfort greater or worse than the heat it is way better than the discomfort of heat because when I am freezing uncomfortable like I I have been too cold before and didn't like it one you can 1996 you can you can you know bundle up a little bit. That's fine.

I'm not going to do that, but you could. But here's the big problem. Because you might get too hot. It's all about sweating for me. I don't... When I'm cold, I am uncomfortable, and that's it. When I am hot, I am uncomfortable, and I'm sweating. And you're wet.

You're wet. And so that's the deal breaker for me. So I think I would go cold. I'd have to give up my steaks give up my warm showers which love me a warm shower your shower time would reduce that is true but i don't mind i genuinely don't mind 40 45 minute cold shower no i wouldn't but i i don't mind cold showers i've i think we've brought this up in the past i i can do a cold shower but i thought that was when you were hot.

Definitely when I'm hot. But even neutral, you know, wake up in the morning, I can take a cold shower. There's no neutral. It's cold. Okay. So I'm already cold. You're waking up cold. And then you take cold showers.

I'm taking hot everything. I mean, I feel like if you have to be one or the other, it is probably hot. Yeah. That's my final answer. Goodness gracious. Because of the water. Well, like if it's hot. Well, if it's hot, I mean, you're drinking hot water.

That's not refreshing. No, it is definitely not. I'll take cold because I hate hot. I refuse to be on team hot. That would be like going against who I am. Yeah. You're definitely not hot. We live in Arizona, which is already going against who i am yeah also definitely not hot we live in arizona which is which is already going against who i am okay all right um time for another one

oh yeah yes okay all right phil from patreon would you rather have to climb through the window every time you go in and out of your house or climb through the window every time you go in and out of your car oh man this is easy is it oh it's so easy one of these i can do as you say he's not picking car mike that's the answer i mean i want to watch it i really do here's the thing i can easily climb in through a car window head first yeah but then you got a problem when you're inside. You're inside your car head first. You got to do a full somersault inside.

I was going to ask you, if you're going in head first, would you prefer to go in passenger side and get across that way, but you got to cross your midline. Yeah, I think you would. As they call it in the car. It's my car's equator. Your midline. Yeah, I think you would. As they call it in the car. Or do you?

It's my car's equator. I have surpassed it. You mean your center console? No, no, no. That's my midline. I couldn't think of the word console at all. So I went with midline. Yes, I would cross the car as midline.

I do think, because if I go in head first, I think a somersault is the best way out versus some kind of 180. You're not pulling off a somersault in the car. Well, not in a car. It would be much more difficult. I know you could somersault, but in a car, the room is not there. I think I could do it. No way. I really do.

I really do. I think we'll find out. Yeah, so the house, though. Windows are larger. Yeah, but they could be higher up. There's a climbing. And if you see someone jump through a car window, you go, oh, that person's door doesn't work. You see someone jumping through a window of a house, that person is burglaring that house.

But I have, I mean, it's my neighbors who see me. They don't think I'm burglaring my own house. They just go, that dude's an idiot. I don't even, I don't, I can recognize like one or two of my neighbors. Not everyone knows their neighbors. Well, that's a you problem, Mike. Or a you solution, depending on... I was about to say, this was strategic and he's accomplished his goal.

Yeah, I've done tremendous work in my neighborhood by not knowing anyone. But not everyone's going to know who you are. You will... If you always have to go in through the window of your house, in your lifetime, you will have the police called on you at least once even by a passerby yes that will happen

so you could systematize the window thing maybe it's more elegant like out in public there's more embarrassment I think to be had with the car yes because you're just seeing more random people at least someone in your neighborhood can get used to you going in and out that you can that's my house you know you can you can eventually let everybody know what's going on and imagine seeing

a larger man in a wrestling singlet right climbing in a house window you're not calling the police on that one i am no i would call even if i knew you yeah i would call the police on myself i'd say i'm breaking into my house come find me wrestle me if you can the the problem with the car as well is you know you don't ever you know you're rushing a lot of times like i'm trying to get out the door sure my kids i gotta go to school we're running up against the clock it's a kid you know i'm like running out the door i don't want to have to like do a speed crawl through the window i gotta take my time on that if i have to and what if there's a passenger in the car already well that they need to get out beyond the midline or yeah no beyond the midline

they're on the they're in the passenger seat. Can you go feet? Could you do the feet first? If you gave it a real... No! What if you hooked up one of those cargo bars on the top of your car and you used that to jump up and go feet first? Yeah, you would have to do that. I just realized, fellas, July, trying to climb in the window of a car in Arizona. Oh, you're going to burn yourself.

You have to touch at least something metal at some point, and that part of body is now fried you don't do just like a running dive running dive through the window yeah it's an option tiger roll yeah jumping in yeah i will be climbing in and getting the police call you probably have to do that all right uh nikki from youtube would you rather be able to see perfect within a three foot radius and everything beyond is blurry or would you rather be able to see perfect within a three-foot radius and everything beyond is blurry, or would you rather have everything blurry within three feet and see perfectly beyond? So this is nearsighted, farsighted, but no correction. Yeah, but into the extreme. Yeah, so you are— You're not reading a book.

You will never read a book. Well, you will if you can do it from, like, you know, four feet away. I read all my books via audio, though. So this is okay. Have we talked about that on this show of like, what do you actually call that? If we have, whatever. Oh, what are you? We're bringing it up again.

Okay, go for it. Are you reading? The way that I view it is you're not reading, but you have read. If it's past tense and you could say like, oh, I've read that book. If it's a book that was read to you. Don't you feel a little bit shameful when it's inside? Not outside. You don't tell them. But you're like oh i've read that book if it's a book that don't you feel a little bit shameful when yes inside not outside you don't tell them but you're like i have read that yeah i don't feel shameful saying that i feel shameful getting called out on it i say oh i've read that and they're like i feel a little shameful inside like i took a shortcut like it was like not

the real i read the cliff notes is how i feel is there a better way like oh i've i've consumed that book oh not that i think the reality is you just say oh i listened to that book oh yeah but then that sounds like such a loser yeah which is it's not really a problem because when we listen we're driving and i hope you're not reading while you're driving okay that's my preference for the drivers out i always tell people i said said, yeah, I've audio. Read that book. You audio read it? I've audio read that book.

I like it. You just drop out the audio. Read that book. Okay. So what's the official Spitballer's stance? You do say... I think you have to say that I've always, I've always in my time,

I've never made the point of clarifying to somebody else that I didn't physically read it. But if you are currently in the middle of the book and that's what you're listening to right now, you're listening to it. That's how I'm listening to that right now. You haven't crossed the finish line of the book to be able to say

I've read that. But if you've listened to it in its entirety, then you've read it. Alright, back to your blurry life here. I don't... My initial reaction, I don't know what your guys' was, was that I have to take the one where I can't see within three feet. You have to. But...

You can't drive. You can't... But if it's pure blurry within three feet, I mean, you're not on your laptop. You're not on your computer. You're not on your computer. You're not. How do you mean you're going to have to hook up your computer to a television, I guess? I mean, you're basically blind within three feet. I think that's almost a better way to think about this question.

Is blind within three feet or blind beyond three feet? And, you know, you can drive if you have the one where you can see beyond three feet. Sort of. Yeah, sort of. I mean, you could drive. You can drive if you have the one where you can see beyond three feet. Sort of. Yeah, sort of. You can drive. You can drive, but you can't change the radio station. Can't check your mirrors either. Yeah, if it's within three feet.

Oh, I'm going to get some of those extenders. Like how long is a four-foot mirror away from you? Yeah, like the ones on the big rigs. Like the front of a car is more than three feet away. Right. So that means you cannot see past the hood of your car. No, no. I'm saying we do the one where you can see farther.

Right. Because then you can still drive. Yes. If you can see past three feet, then you can drive. Okay. Okay. You just can't see the person in your vehicle. Or the bugs on your windshield?

I don't know. Yeah. I feel like either way, you're going to find workarounds for life. But like Mike said, like laptop, computer, you can hook it up to a screen that is, you know, a projector. I said hook it up to a TV. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, so I'm just saying there are ways around that. You can't read, you can listen to a book i can't think of ways around if you can't

see distance past three feet i don't know how to overcome that in any way so at what amount of feet do you flip not three feet is it five feet is it 10 feet like if everything's 10 feet blur everything within 10 feet is blurry i think that you can't have conversations with people like face to face could you just back up a little bit i need to speak to you for a moment yeah i think 10 feet is the line because either way then you're not driving okay all right all That's a great question. All right, let's go to Karen from Twitter. If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire, or does the vampire become a zombie? Ooh.

Well, the vampire cannot become a zombie. Wouldn't the zombie have to bite the vampire for that to happen? Exactly. But here's, we got to break it down, though. Mike knows more about this domain. That's what I'm thinking about. The reason you turn into the zombie when the zombie bites you is because you get the infection. The virus.

The virus has passed through the saliva or whatever. And we've seen in some zombie canon, if you get the zombie blood in your mouth or in your eyes, you change as well. So if a vampire bites a zombie, the zombie will turn into a vampire. That's the rules. But the vampire will also turn into a zombie because the vampire will have ingested the virus. Can I ask you some questions?

Yes. I know you're an authority on this. Yes. Does something have to be alive to receive the vampire treatment? That's a good question. Because it's not a living organism anymore. It's a vampire.

And are you getting blood out of a zombie? I mean, is this even worth it for the vampire? Yeah, it's coagulated. Okay. But the blood is still in there. Is it still good? Does it taste nice? It's probably bad, like expired.

It's like bad blood. It's like expired milk. Okay. But the question for the vampire is, is a vampire alive or dead because a vampire is also immortal? Well, both vampires and zombies are considered undead. Vampires are undead? I'm not a vampire person, so I need some help here.

Both vampires and zombies are the undead. Okay. But a vampire is immortal. An immortal undead? What is dead can never die? It depends on the canon. But you can kill a vampire by piercing its heart, which is pumping, right? But a zombie, is its heart pumping?

No. See? No, internal organs have shut off. So in terms of distributing the poison from the vampire it's not really pumping it through the body yeah that's a good point i don't resistant to vampire i think zombies are resistant to vampires i see what you're saying because it's coagulated it's not spreading yeah i don't i don't think they can become a does a vampire is a vampire a virus no a vampire is not a virus wait a minute because they because they suck the blood out of you they drain the blood they drain the blood clearly they're putting something in

if they're converting you i think that is it a is this like uh is it a poison when you get your kidneys washed what i could like a dialysis dialysis i couldn't think of the word you get your kidneys washed they They take them out. They give them a rub down, put them back in. Ironically, I got to where you were thinking. Incredible. I think that a vampire draining you of the blood is what allows you to... How do you become a vampire? You get your blood drained by the vampire, but I don't think that can happen.

That's an outward process. What's going in? Well, nothing. Something has to go in to convert you. So do vampires not have blood? Vampires have blood. Yeah, they do. They have extra blood.

But to turn into a vampire, I have had my blood taken away from me. Yes, but just a little bit of blood. And now you're going to go drink more. Just a little bit of it. But so, okay, a baby vampire. No blood. Like a brand new vampire, they have no blood? Clearly no blood.

And that's why they need to go bite more people. Because they need blood. Because they're hungry. That's right. Babies don't have enough blood. But I don't think you can actually suck blood out of a zombie because the heart's not pumping. I think you could try, but it's not. You're going to get a little bit.

You're going to get whatever's in the neck, and that's not enough. No, and it's gross. You can. It's like sour blood. I mean, it just depends on the suction power. Yeah, I don't think you're going to suck blood from the toes through the neck so wait does the zombie become a vampire we think no does the vampire become a zombie i think no no i i think it's new i think nothing happens because i think this is an exercise they should just walk away because a vampire because the zombie's already

dead yeah and the zombie didn't bite them. No, I'm fine with... The virus still goes, but you're saying that a virus can't affect a vampire because it's already an undead. Right. So these two should just be friends. Yes. Yeah, they settled. They really should team up. Hold hands.

Except zombies aren't intelligent, so they can't. Yeah, no, none of them are. I'll get those ones out of out of eduardo from the website what is the age threshold for someone to be considered to have died of old age which is 80 it's a great you had an immediate answer no i mean look you said 80 right yeah but if i tell you what what do you let me let me rephrase this do you take issue when you hear that um you know my my uncle died at 79 of old age well yeah because 80 is the threshold right so then do you not believe me um i do you say what was it really is that what you say right exactly because i don't think tell

the truth i don't i know you're grieving right now but don't be a liar what was it really tell the truth yeah you're i'm just your gramps lied to you that's that's all i'm trying to tell you here i think what happens is nobody dies of old age okay correct there is an age when people accept all the ailments as normal and that age is when they're all thrown into a lump of old age. It's like you get cancer at 96. Old age. Right. You have heart failure at 98.

Old age. Because you're supposed to have those things at that age. So basically, if after 80 you die of anything that's not an accident. Yes. You have died of old age. Yes. I think that's actually true. Although, would you say, I mean. Bear attack. Old age. Well, no. that's actually true. Although, would you say, I mean... Bear attack.

Old age. Well, no, Bear. That's an accident. That's an accident. But if you have a heart attack at 81... That's not an accident for the bear. Listen, if you had a heart attack at 81, do you want people telling their friends

he died of old age or he died of a heart attack? What do you want them to say about you? Of old age, for sure. Really? You prefer that? Yeah, because old age implies peacefully. To me, it implies you gave up.

Really? Dying of old age? Whereas a heart attack is like, I got him. Oh, see, I was saying heart attack, weak heart. Yeah. Really? I think you ate well. No, heart... You ate poorly, depending on perspective. But no, I do. I think that if you die of old age, that means that you died in your sleep.

Ooh, which is the preferred. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to be trying to die in my sleep, by the way, when I'm at a certain age. Naps all the time. Just nonstop NyQuil? And I'm going to be, I'm the kind of overthinker who I will be, every time I lay down for a nap over the age of 80. Here we go. I'm going to be wanting to know.

I'm going to ask one question. Is this where I want to be found? So every nap you just lay out your will right next to you? Yes, and I make sure I'm wearing something that is presentable. Yeah, you're not going to Alamo to 80. No, I'm not going to be found in no pair of overalls only at 80. I mean, that's like the final troll. Yeah, I was going to say, when I'm 80, I might be only sleeping a la mode.

Someone's going to find me. They're going to find me like this. Is your son? Somebody out there wondering how we use a la mode in this way. Your son has to find you. Has to find you. Gone was tragic. But you hit him with one last good joke.

I don't know, man. I think at that age it's probably a bad joke. Yeah, but I mean, it's good for me. So, Mike, do you agree with the 80 threshold? Or do you think someone can die of old age above 75? I think 80 is probably there. Yeah. That does make sense to me.

And I'm on board with it. It has to be in your sleep. But it could be. Will it change over time like is there do we hope yes we hope that it's 85 by the time we die no no no we hope that it's 100 we hope that that age is pushed way back by the time we get there they better improve some things i feel like once you hit 100 you're just you're just waiting yeah i, you're just already dead. You're like a vampire. You're an undead. The way that we eat, we're not making it to 100.

We got to change some things about ourselves. Is it just me or are these vampire movies nobody's ever eaten the elderly? Like, is that bad blood? Because you don't have a bunch of elderly vampires. I think because, well, you do. You have some. You? When you're a vampire.

Hit the nursing home. It's easy prey. But when you're a vampire, you're creating a lineage. Are you? Yes, because now everyone you have converted, they are under your family tree. Like a coaching tree in the NFL? Yeah, exactly. The 80-year-old vampire is such an embarrassment.

Yeah, it's an embarrassment. He can't even catch up to anyone. But they're immortal at that age. Which is a nightmare. Oh, no. Why did you do this? My hips. They're not doing that to the elderly out of respect.

Oh. They're like, I don't want you to have to live through this forever. So those elderly above 80 that got vampired they're seeking zombies to hopefully yes to hopefully eat them and make them yeah or just for best friends they don't have just juggling wood stakes so wait if a jic if a vampire is immortal which is what you're saying yes that doesn't mean that they can't be eaten by a zombie entirely, like all of them. Correct. They can be consumed. Now, oh, man, now you've got me deep diving.

So can a vampire, because the wooden stake is how you kill a vampire. Yeah, sayonara. But can you, like, cut a vampire's arm off? Sure. Yeah, absolutely. And it doesn't grow back? No. I don't think it does. No.

But a cut heals faster? I don't know. And we doesn't grow back? No. I don't think it does. No. But a cut heals faster? I don't know. And we know the sunlight's not very... And the sunlight turns them into ash or into stone. Oh, so many vampire questions. Garlic is a problem. Garlic's more like allergies for them. Yeah, right.

It gives them the sneezes. I wonder if they have like a Zyrtec for garlic. Like a Claritin for vampires? Yeah. Well, these are all very important questions. Okay. I think we settled on that. One more of these and then we'll get into the draft.

Sam the ma'am from Patreon says, where does a thought go when it's forgotten? Oh, goodness gracious. It's above my pay grade. Where does a thought go when it is forgotten? Whoa. It can a thought truly be forgotten. Oh, yeah. It can.

What? Sorry. Because it's there somewhere. Right. But is it had a thought that you never, ever think of again? It has officially been forgotten. Now, does that mean it can't be officially forgotten until you pass? Because you could think of it again, and if you ever think of it again, then it was never forgotten.

But isn't it a fresh thought? Well, not if you remember that I had this thought earlier. But isn't that deja vu? Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. But isn't that deja vu? Yeah. But that's what I'm saying. Can a thought really ever go away? I'm thinking of my brain in this sense that there's one active thought that can be happening at one moment. Sure.

And then if it's out of the active part of the brain, is it a forgotten thought? Or was it just... I mean, aren't all thoughts always there then? Yes. Even ones that you haven't forgotten, aren't all thoughts always there then even once even once that you haven't forgotten aren't they all there before you think of them I think the reality here is some of that's a good question some of these thoughts deep some of these thoughts are never recorded you it's not that they are forgotten once recorded they can't be forgotten but you can have a thought and then

it's not important enough to ever put in your in your you know your long-term storage yeah but it's maybe if you think it you thought it if well said well said i don't know if we can get to the bottom of this one it's's a very, yeah. This is, like you said, this is above our pay grade. But who, if not us, then who? That's also, that's another great question. Educated people. Oh, sorry, not a real answer. So where thoughts go when they are forgotten?

Is there a place? In your brain? Or? It's like where Bing Bong lives. bing bong lives exactly inside out exactly there's just there's a dump you've had the times when you're like oh i just had a thought and then you do recall it yeah so where was it is is where bing bong was in the movie that's thank you which is a very sad place that's from inside Yeah. You don't want your thoughts there. We answered it and we got there

through a Pixar movie. Where Bing Bong Lives was an actual... They finally figured it out. That's a sad... That was sad. Oh yeah. Let's not talk about that anymore. I don't think that movie theme's going to make it. It's really good though. Let's get into the draft.

The Spitballers Draft. Alright, we are drafting the best movie themes. This is part one of two drafts because there are too many incredible movie themes. Now, I want to be honest with the spitballs out there.

I really wanted to be able to put all of these movie themes into today's show as in actually play them for you sure but we've sought legal counsel the man and the man says that that could be a questionable decision so we're going to be drafting them and if possible we might hum them in unison and in harmony correct but if we don't know how to do that we may not uh you may have to look them up jason you taking the alto oh yeah sure i can do that i mean i'm more of a baritone but all right i'll jump on the soprano great you know i can't You know I can't pull off Elton. All right, so, Mike, you have the very first pick.

Which I am delighted to have it. Okay. Because I think that there is a clear 101. Really? I do. I mean, look, we know, if you're listening to this and you know about movie themes, you realize that we will be drafting john williams music non-stop uh because he's just he just cranks out certified bangers

all the time uh but one soundtrack there i mean i what do i get all the songs or whatever whatever it's really the main it's you're supposed to think of the main theme of the movie and then if you want stuff coming with it whatever okay i'm going with star wars okay that is i get it i get it that's what i wondered if that would be the 101 yeah i mean from the the opening sequence when they hit you with the just the yeah the stinger that goes so that comes along and then i'm also just sneaking in oh you're just grabbing some more movies that's Star Wars baby which oh my goodness

yeah you're welcome see we couldn't play it but we got you wait that wasn't the recording no it was but for the lawyers I have to say it wasn't all the lawyers okay so I when you built it up like that I thought there was like maybe a dark horse that you were going with Lawyers, I have to say, it wasn't. All the lawyers.

Yeah, baby. Okay, so when you built it up like that, I thought there was maybe a dark horse that you were going with. Oh, nope. Nope, chalk. Chalk, that's fine. No, that's where you should. I mean, Star Wars is known everywhere. A lot of this is about iconic.

A lot of this is about does it come up in everyday life as a way to almost add a soundtrack to a moment because it's so iconic. Right. A hundred percent. And that song that you just did. Yeah. From Star Wars.

We do that constantly during foosball matches because it makes everything epic. So I'm trying to pick one that I can recall easily because that means that means it is iconic. It's a memory that has not been forgotten. And unfortunately, unfortunately unfortunately i have forgotten all music on your first pick no no no okay oh you're going back to the i'm going back to the future because i know there's no chance he would let it get back to me and it is probably

the one that i can recall the most i I mean, it's just so classic. It's clear. I mean, Andy right behind you is a hoverboard and a dog. Andy is very upset with you. He loves Back to the Future, but we all do. It's great. It is a great theme song. I just slotted that into Andy's first pick.

Yeah, so did I. I would never let that happen. Wow, that shocks me. That was fully intentional so that you didn't get happen. Wow, that shocks me. That's where you went. That was fully intentional so that you didn't get it. Oh, 100%. All right, well, fine. Fine. I'll fight fire with fire here.

Oh, no! No, you're not going to do that to me! Of course I will! Oh, come on, man. Of course I will! You don't get it. Aw, don't do it. But I'll make it my second pick.

Yeah. Oh, to disrespect it. Yes. I will go with... There's so many. disrespect it. Yes. I will go with... There's so many. There's so many. I will go with... Okay.

Oh, you're going with the long intro? I'm going Jurassic Park. It's not the main motif. I'm going Jurassic Park for my first pick. It might not be everybody's, but it's just infinite. It's my favorite theme of a movie ever. It's a

fantastic theme and like the... Yes, like... The reprieval when after all... I mean, it's already been played in the movie, but after all the insane dinosaur, a dinosaur, trademarks, no one can own that,

dinosaur, it's happening, the T-Rex is eating everybody, and it's night, and it's raining, and then everything is cleared, and the sun is out, and then that majestic melody is playing. I mean, it's perfection. It is. And so then, yeah, Braveheart. I'm taking Braveheart.

You could have just played nice and left me with Back to the Future. That's not fair. But I'm taking Braveheart because, come on, that music is unbelievable. So as we were going in the office, we're all trying to gather up our lists and our picks, and it really was a tale of like, oh, that one too. And you're adding him on. And Jason was somehow reminded of Braveheart.

He wasn't immediately on his list. And he pulls it up. And I can see this man on the verge of just a complete breakdown. Just crying immediately. Because it's such an emotional song. It's fantastic. I hear that music and I am... Freedom!

I'm in Scotland and I am... My heart is breaking for you, William. Yeah. It's breaking for yourself now. Well, can you... The good news is he doesn't care anymore. Can we recall it? Can we recall Braveheart?

That's too much. That was too much. Dang, that's good Alright So I'm out I gotta play I gotta play the game here Yeah cause Mike's coming with two picks here

And he's the music man Yeah he is Man There's a classic Like one of the best of all times. And then there's one that is just, it's so good and it's so old and it's something that you don't think about until you hear it. And then you're like, oh man, that's unbelievable. And I know it's on your list because you told me it was on your list. Oh, how did you know?

So I think I'm going to take it, but now with all this other music, I can't recall. I'll find it. All right. Maybe. I'm taking the OG Superman. Yes. Yes.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yes. Oh, you said you're a baritone. I lied. Yeah, I went up. I was going soprano. I was trying to give you some trumpets, and you're like, yeah, me too.

Oh, man. Man, I mean, that music. That was my backup pick in case you had taken what I was going to take. But yeah, the Superman, the original Superman. Yes. And the new one, which, whatever, if you want to take that. I think the new one is Zimmer. The new one is great, too.

But the old classic John Williams, that is superhero music. I couldn't believe that that was John Williams. I would never have guessed that John Williams did Superman in 1978. He has been alive for a long time. Yeah. We need to get that man immortal. Yes. Can we get a vampire?

Let's clone him, get him a son immediately, raise him up before he dies so he can teach him some music. All right. Fantastic. Two picks for Mike. Well, my 102 has returned to me. Not surprised. My 102 has returned to me.

Not surprised. What's interesting about this movie series is, in my heart, I always believe it's one of my favorites of all time. And then you go back, and you're like, well, two of them are actually not that great. I know. 100%. 100%. And there's been a fourth, and we pretend that that one doesn't exist. There's only three. But the music is unbelievable.

But the music is so good that you think that all the movies are fantastic. And the iconic, so I will be taking Indiana Jones, which by 102 has returned to me. I got to make sure I'm marking what has been taken. All right. So Star Wars, Indiana Jones. we're off to a very good start now can we recall indiana jones here oh yeah i love you mike and like the way that superman is that's a that's a superhero song. Indiana Jones, that is adventure. You fire that up, and you are immediately like, oh, I'm out there. I'm looking for a dig site. Yeah, you're an archaeologist.

Yes. I'm afraid of snakes. Which apparently is not nearly as fun as Indiana Jones life. I actually wanted to be grown up. I wanted to be Indiana Jones, and then you find out being an archaeologist is boring. Dusty. Where's the booby traps? All right.

Oh, man. This is where a little bit of where the game comes in for me. Because I have a lot that I... And this one will never make it back. So I will take the Harry Potter. Come on. You guys are jerks. Taking Harry Potter, wow. Harry Potter and Braveheart.

Yes. And that is magic music, ladies and gentlemen. That is. It is. We've got to be the starter on all of these humming for us. It's like when you hit that real dissonant note, and there's just like, because it's a regular melody until that point you're like oh there's something not quite yeah right in this harry potter like that was that was my next pick oh i know it was and braveheart was my previous pick man look let me just say this this one isn't about

me versus you guys. Love your guys. We're just respecting the music. We're just respecting the music. That's what we're here to do. We did leave you with the Free Willy theme. Oh, well, in that case, I might use my fourth pick on that. But I'm going to go with one of the best of all time. This was actually, even though Harry Potter, I was going to take that next.

My last time I was on the clock, I wasn't thinking of Harry Potter yet, which I love more. But the music for Forrest Gump is as classic and made it. With the piano theme? Yeah. Oh, yes. As I'm doing the trumpet sound. Can you make a piano sound easily? No.

I'm very good at trumpets. All right. So you're taking Forrest Gump. I could give you wah guitar. Oh, let's have it. Thank you. We get two shows of this. It's amazing.

All right. I have to take my final two picks. You don't have to. I'm going to go with Jaws. Okay. I'm taking Jaws. Okay. Jaws, I was so torn on what to do.

It's a different type of song. Keep going. I had you. Oh, sorry. I had your back. So everybody knows Jaws. Yes. I didn't have it on my list.

It's so tough because it's an iconic... That song is horror. You know something really terrible is going to happen. But it's like... It's like two notes. But it does go into a much bigger production. It definitely does. But it's on my list.

I wasn't sure where it should fit into this draft. All right. But apparently Andy's third pick is the answer. Yeah, that's where he's going to go. This one's really tough because I have the knowledge that there's another draft coming. Yes.

I think that I can take my real true number four in the other draft. That's some ultimate risk. So I think, I think I'm going to go James Bond. Oh, wow.

I think I'm going to go James Bond for my final pick because not only is it just like an iconic, wow, wow, wow, wow. Uh, no,

give me the trumpets, please. Thank you. Much better. I think james bond i mean it spans multiple movies but they always they kind of iterate on it and they build it out each movie has their own like song but the james bond song the theme yeah yeah i mean it's got a couple different motifs. It's fantastic. It spreads to video games. It does.

So that's where I'll end our first draft. Okay. That's good. That's good. You got a fighter. I'm going to take a fighter as well. Are you? Yeah.

Oh, you're going to fly now. Okay. I'm going with the Rocky theme music. I mean, you got a movie that was like, you know, came out of nowhere. Oh, no. That one actually has lyrics to it. Yeah. I've got a couple on my list here that are like more song.

Yeah, it happens. It might have been on the radio even. Right. But yeah, I'll take the Rocky theme song for the win. Not for the win because Mike's team is unbeatable. Oh my gosh, okay. How do we... But for second, maybe.

Doubtful. Braefort says what? You let that get away from you. Yeah. You fool. All right. With my last pick here, this theme song is interesting because there are... Well, now I guess now there's multiple movies, but the original came out in the 80s, so it's like it's really 80s-ed out.

And then this was one of those movies where the sequel actually surpassed the original by a wide margin. Tell me you're taking that. Oh, and you fire this one up with the drums. Oh, goodness. Yes. Oh, Terminator 2. Yeah, and not many theme songs can you fully recall when you just hear the rhythm.

Uh-huh. You just hear a percussion rhythm. That's so good. Oh, that's so good. Dang, that song is a sneaky fourth pick. I wasn't sure if I should save that for the next one around, but yeah, I'll complete it with Terminator. So Mike has a pedestrian group of four picks here.

Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, and Terminator. For how good Terminator is, it's not Karen. It's Wade. Is that the same? I mean, I don't remember the first movie. So is that the same theme in both? Yes. Okay. It is, but it's not just Terminator 2.

But in T2, it's orchestrated. Gotcha. But the first one, because it's 80s, it's all synth now, which I mean, I love. It's like Ninja Turtles, Secret of the Ooze. Yeah, like synth music, I love it, but they really took it to a new place in T2. And Jason went with Back to the Future instead of Braveheart. Superman, Forrest Gump, and Rocky.

Yeah, Jurassic Park, Braveheart, Jaws, and James Bond. And we have so many disrespected picks that will be coming on our next show. I would say comment, if you're on the YouTube, comment on what songs were missed out. Yeah. And then we'll hit the. Don't worry. There is a lot.

Yeah, no doubt about it. What did we learn today? Well, this one's easy. I finally understand that it is not, in fact, a midline. It is a center console. I learned that no matter how important your wife is you turn your back on her in her pregnancy while she throws up and i've learned that i have a lot to learn about vampires because i still don't know if we got to the bottom of that vampire i think we did a great

job mike oh we did a great job but we just scratched the surface yeah i mean we're gonna need a five-part episode start a thesis thanks for listening back next monday goodbye thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast