Spitballers Comedy Podcast - The Poop Boot & Things That Make You Nervous - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast
Episode Date: October 10, 2024Spit Hit for Oct 10th, 2024: We’re back with another hilarious episode AND the return of Liar, Liar! Can the guys get back-to-back wins? We also talk about horizontal buttcracks and selling our tee...th. We wrap things up with a draft of ‘Things That Make You Nervous. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers
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Discussion (0)
What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and
give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?
It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. I
Know it's one of the best
It's all organic I just didn't want to end it the same way other scats in and maybe that's the problem
It was incredible and then you got in a fender bender right at the end. That's okay. That's okay
I mean it was like a like a gentle one at a stop sign
You were moving along really well, and then yeah
It was over
Yeah, well, you know welcome in welcome back spitballers podcasts Annie Mike and Jason
another episode of the
award-winning. Here we are. Al is here, the judge as well.
We've got liar liar on the show today. Yeah, we do. And we don't really know what's going to happen
because it's taken months, I think, for Al to recover from his defeat. If you look at the, because we're, you know,
we like numbers, we like data, we like information.
If you look at the historical numbers
in the most recent Liar Liar, we are undefeated.
Honestly, the last several weeks of recording,
we have not lost once.
That's true.
So, it's taken him a lot of time. And time and I'll just check in on you mental health wise
Are you are you at a point where you even want to move forward with liar liar?
Have we is this over? Oh, I'm good, man. Oh, he thinks he's got
He thinks he's got this on lockdown because he's changing rules got X Games mode coming up
Yeah, and they I'm guessing these, they have to do with this whole,
we can work together at some point strategy.
I don't know.
But we have Liar Liar today, so that's
something to look forward to.
We have Would You Rather.
And we are drafting things that make you nervous.
Things that make you nervous.
So that should be pretty fun.
As I was thinking through ideas right before the show I was laughing to myself a little bit because there are I think
there are a lot of things that are common to everybody but there are some
that are maybe more personal personal yeah or you know different people
different things so and it's it's incredible when you start thinking about
it there's a lot of small, like just really insignificant things
that make you tilt your face off when it happens. And you're like, look, I'm a grown man. Like
I'm nearly 40 years. Some of us on the show are already 40. Some of them are not going
to name Nate old people because we're all about to be there. But like, I'm, there's still things that make me have a full anxiety attack that should
not happen to a grown human of any kind.
Yeah.
It's funny how that works.
Like if you're nervous about something for enough years, that just becomes something
you're always, and there are some things you grow out of that you used to be nervous about.
Please, please let me know. Like I used to be a really nervous driver
Really cuz I got into like an accident okay, and then from that point on it was just a different level of
anxiety for many years I
Remember my first drive with my license
And how fast were you going? Oh, speed, speed limit. Uh, the progression I'm on, I will,
my driving full bell curve of like when I got my license, I was by the book. Eventually
I got a little too comfortable with the book thrown at you with my driving abilities. Speeds
reached a limit that they should definitely not have been.
And I've calmed down. But I remember that my first, I remember my first drive where
my parents were not in the car and I'm talking out loud to myself like a crazy person. Just
like it's we're good. We're good. Mike. And I'm referring to myself in the third person
like it's okay. We can do this. Oh my God. We're perfectly fine door. And then I'm referring to myself in the third person like it's okay we could do this oh my we're perfectly fine don't worry and then I'm like I'm like don't
no don't do that don't do that like talking to other people on the road it
was very eventful like I could I can tell you the exact route I was gonna say
you remember oh yes and it's funny I didn't even know Mike had a speed phase
oh yeah I would have imagined Mike was always a speed limit guy ever since I've known you you've
been a speed limit guy. Yeah then the man. Oh sometimes the man catches you going a
little too fast. Okay. And you pay that bill you go oh I should. I gotta be a
speed limit man. That's not worth the extra couple seconds of time. Alright
let's uh let's get into it
Would you rather
Oh, I hate we are into would you we're into would you rather okay haven from the website? Would you rather have your butt crack be?
Oh you already got it
Just a funny premise.
Would you rather have your butt crack be horizontal?
That's a mouth.
Or have your mouth be vertical?
It's your butt mouth.
What?
Oh, so you gotta flip it.
You gotta butt mouth and a mouth crack.
You gotta choose between having a vertical mouth
Major problems here. I mean the vertical mouth you would so it opens. There's huge problem
It opens sideways huge problem because of gravity
No, it is the problem Al is over there and he was pretending to have a vertical mouth just now and
No gravity listen to me stay with me on this gravity is the problem is it? Yes over there and he was pretending to have a vertical mouth just now and no
gravity listen to me stay with me on this gravity is the problem is it yes
because food food organically goes like on a fork right and you insert into your
mouth and it's oriented to where the way you chew right and so you chew and your
teeth are in a motion that works with gravity. Okay, you are sideways
Oh imagine imagine right now you turn your mouth sideways when the food gets put into your mouth
It goes into your cheek. There aren't teeth. I mean, there's like kind of teeth there, right?
But they're not no tongue. Your tongue is on the side. Your tongue is you
If you have a vertical mouth where it's just getting to
Which side is it on? Oh, that's a good question. It's like lefties and righties. It depends on... You're just using some are left handed,
some are right handed. When you're born, you look in the mouth and they go, oh, he's a
lefty. Now you know what you would probably have to do here when you're eating is turn
your head to the side. You would probably have to turn your head. Now maybe this is
an advantage. Maybe there's an advantage because I can lay down to eat.
Like right now, the three of us cannot lay down and eat very comfortably.
Oh, that is a perfect example. If you lay down sideways on a couch and you try to eat
a bowl of cereal, good luck. Right, exactly. You try to eat a bowl of cereal, lay down
on the couch, doesn't work. However, move to a side mouth and all of a sudden you can
lay down and eat. Has this been a problem for you guys? No, it's just if only I could eat cereal laying down. It wouldn't be bad. I can't find one possible explanation as to why I'd want my butt crack to be horizontal. I can't imagine. There's no advantages to the vertical crack.
I disagree. For two reasons. One is the shape of our toilets.
The shape would it really matter?
Well, to me, like I when I go on to like your center is going to
be centered.
The center will be centered inside of that crack, my friend.
But I hate I absolutely circle. I absolutely
hate going to the old grandma's toilet. That's a small little
round toy. We have a toilet. Well, that's now every toilet
with a horizontal because you're going long ways, but crack
across the short ways toilet seat. So you're going to feel
like it's a small toilet every
It's not nearly as big a deal as eating sideways. I'm just trying to say you're finding a way deals
But there's actually positives here. I
Imagine if it's hold on for a second. I imagine if it's sideways because let's be honest and this is getting I don't want to get too
biological here
But like what is what is coming out?
Poop.
Yeah, we can say poop.
Yes, poop is coming out.
And it is again, gravity playing a role in the equation.
Now, right now, because of the orientation of the crack,
you have it falling away from you.
Whereas if you just turned it sideways,
there would be a ledge there, potentially.
OK.
Oh, you got to, you got to, uh.
Where you would have a smoochie ledge.
Smoochie?
I was going to say a cheek lip.
A cheek lip is a better way to put it.
You got to kind of lean back.
So, you know, and some people have more of a lip than others.
Right.
They got that badonkadonk junk in the trunk.
So I imagine those people, you could have a trap situation.
Oh no.
What if you thought you went and you would just...
Oh, I don't think that's gonna...
You just put it in the trap.
You have a ghost poo and you're looking down and you can't find it?
It's not in there.
And then you just saddle back up to get the pants on and you smoochie. I cannot imagine that happening. We're back!
The show is back baby! Let's be honest here, the real issue is not gravity or smooch poops.
The real issue here is one is not covered. Like one is on my face. Yeah, I agree.
And the other is the only people that are gonna see
my horizontal butt crack.
I was like, I was your horizontal butt not covered.
That's all I was thinking.
I wanna remove that though.
Let's just say everyone goes,
that is the humans.
So it's for all people.
Yeah, humanity now has vertical mouth.
Okay, all right.
Well now that makes this question actually debatable because if you you know, whatever
I I can hide my horizontal but I can do cool party tricks for those
But if everybody has a horizontal mouth if everybody has a horizontal mouth then I think this is such a good question
I'm not a vertical mouth. Oh, yes a horizontal mouth, then I think... This is such a good question. I'm not ashamed.
Vertical mouth.
Yes, a vertical mouth.
Everyone does that.
We all have horizontal mouths.
But I'm not ashamed of my vertical mouth if everyone has it.
And now I can lay down and eat.
Imagine trying to fit in.
Hey guys, turning sideways.
So now, when I was thinking about it, like if your mouth is vertical,
I was thinking of it as you still have
an up and down chomping motion.
It just opens up.
Mike, that's nonsense.
Yeah, what, I mean.
My ball time.
What a silly thought.
That's my bad, guys.
All right, man, that does beg another obvious question,
which is if you could move your digestive tract
And to another part of your body would there be a convenience factor there?
Like are you like if you were to uh, not following
Yeah, the digestion or the exiting the exiting. Okay. I don't the exiting like would you know through the
Tip of the pinky
Right. Okay, or like your elbow you're like your heel foot
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Is that what you do? Oh, and then it would just be built into the ground and you just put the foot out
Yeah, because you just you'd have a special boot that you'd be able to use put your oh, it's got like a trapdoor boot
It's the poop boot and you just put your foot in there and then like you can have there's a show title for you
The poop boot is just a pier. I mean I
Assuming there wasn't like a
pain problem would you not have and maybe that doesn't work sitting on it
that's because the trap is closed honestly you would acting itself could
have just completely like bathrooms wouldn't even need to be private right
you know there's no button balls never know everybody's opens their poop boot
that would be but that would become your private place oh because you know what I Right. There's no butt involved. You'll never know. Everybody just opens their poop boot.
But that would become your private place.
Oh, because...
You know what I mean?
If everybody's pooping from their foot, they'd be like, don't...
You can't see my foot.
Oh, it'd be a private thing.
That would be my private foot.
I'm scared of the rest of this conversation.
I think I might need to ask another question.
My last thought on getting back to the horizontal mouth is how small would our mouths be?
Because right now I feel like there's a lot more room for a wide mouth
But like you can't go from from chin to nose. No, I know but I'm saying that's smaller than I think most people's mouth
No, you don't think so. I
Can't see your chin. Yeah, I got a beard cover up my neck
chin yeah I got a beard cover up my neck so maybe you're right I just don't know how strong your chin is I just measured and Andy's right this would not be a
problem we could do we could pull off the vertical mouth and for that reason
I'm going to choose the horizontal butt cheeks.
Alright, Stu from Twitter, would you rather personally perform really well on a losing
team, or really bad on a winning team?
Oh man.
This is a crazy question to come up today, because I was driving into work listening
to sports radio, and a hockey player that was facing
our home team had a hat trick, which is three goals in a game.
And for some reason that made me think about playing in our flag football leagues and the
way you would feel when you had a special game and you'd, you know, win or lose, you
kind of have a sense of personal satisfaction.
You go out there and perform well or play well or have good numbers, good stats.
So there is a pride that comes from just going out and doing your best and saying,
it's not my fault. Sure. I mean, I don't know if that's the headline,
but the headline is I did my part. Yeah, they didn't. But the team,
right. So it's not your fault. You played pretty, pretty well.
This is really well.
And to be clear, 100% of all athletes
in every locker room in the world
will tell you their personal stats don't matter
and the team matters the most.
Yeah, there's a lot of liars.
And yet you know that, you know, which one would you be?
Which would you prefer?
I mean, this is performing bad on a winning team.
This is like, I didn't help at all.
Yeah, it's not average.
It's not saying, would you rather be part of a winning team or dominate on a losing
team?
So you're not a bench warmer.
You're playing.
And terribly.
And you are playing bad.
Which means your teammates are really good because they're making up for a lot of your
slack.
I am going to go with the performing well on a losing team.
I appreciate that honesty. I am gonna go with the performing well on a losing team. I
Appreciate that honesty and that's not because I don't want to win but that's because I I'm not winning
That's why I'm not winning if I'm the bad player on the winning team, right? I'm not winning after enough of those games. I
Know that I'm useless So that would not that would be feeling. I don't know if I appreciate that level of honesty.
Oh, okay.
That was so honest that you feel like you're not winning
if your team isn't, your team is winning
and you're not playing well.
Might as well be a fan.
You're not winning.
But winning teams go to the post season,
which means more games.
Ka-ching.
Means you make more money.
I mean, I know that those players that are
on the end of the bench,
they get the rings in basketball, are champions.
Yes.
But we know they're not.
Well.
We know they're not.
But they think they are.
They get the ring.
But then later on in life,
when you're like, I'm a three time champion,
and you're like, how many minutes did you play? None. Yes. How much do you need to participate then for
you to move in from, from us as the, the, the judgy Judgers and public saying, well,
your ring is invalid, except they were at the direct practice. They're a practice. They
are, they are a part of the team helping the team to improve and get better,
but they're not, they may not just be good enough
compared to the other people on their team.
Especially if you're thinking basketball.
There's a few guys on basketball
that just, they don't get into the game,
but they are an important part of the team.
Yeah, they deserve a ring.
Okay.
But they didn't actively perform bad, which is what the question says.
That is true.
You're saying they're helping.
So Mike brought up you can make more money getting to the playoffs, you know, your team's doing well.
I'm trying to go through it all.
No, you've got to go through it all.
Absolutely. And the financial side, but I think the financial side is better to be a dominant player on a losing team.
To stick with basketball, there are plenty of superstar players on bad teams.
Well, if you want to go that route, fine.
I mean, being a superstar player on a bad team, you know, I think that's the way I'm going to go.
I'm going to go with Andy. We're going to have some bad teams.
Yeah, but we're going to be legends.
And I'm going to be competing as to who's scoring more me or you
Mike final answer
Gotta be gotta be good. Yeah
Lit Lily, I gotta be able to look at myself in the mirror. I know it Lily from patreon Would you rather get $100 per fart for life? Okay, or $300,000 per tooth you remove.
Oh, I remove?
Yeah, what's the story there?
Is this just getting it out?
Yeah, you could have a dentist pull it for you.
So man.
Well, how much does that cost?
But the caveat is says you are unable
to replace the removed tooth
and only the front eight teeth are eligible.
Four on top and four on bottom.
So my good teeth.
Yep, the cosmetic teeth. But you can't replace them. Correct. Oh, you're opening up a whole
another world of me choosing the fart one. I mean, I mean, maybe
the truth is, is I'm not I'm not taking all eight out at 300k.
Are you are you even taking one out? I look that's a, that's a
ton of money. I think it's it'll become a thing
If you do that one, that'll become how retired people end up retiring. They end up going. All right
It's time to retire pluck pluck
Pluck pluck right? Okay, you've got some years taking care of some people they retire early
So they get they got to have all six or eight of them
I mean that is really the first question on its own is just would you take
$300,000 to have a missing front eight tooth like one of your mains
That's what your insiders is that what we're oh right now. No, they're not ins. I mean, what are they?
I mean, they're your front there and your insiders. They're not your bicuspids. No, they're your front eight teeth.
That's how my dentist works.
We gotta look this up.
I'll give you a bottom tooth right now for 300 grand.
Yeah, here's the thing.
Yeah, some people talk and their bottom teeth
aren't even seen.
If you, well if I lose a bottom tooth,
you're never seeing my bottom teeth again.
You know what I mean?
I will talk in a different way or smile in a different way.
You can't do that. Oh absolutely I can. You know what I mean? I will talk in a different way or smile in a different way where Oh,
absolutely. I can't.
Insiders your forefront teeth on the top of the bottom.
Thank great job. Those are your insiders. If you knew it, just
say it, man. Don't question it. But at that point, if you lose
one of those, you got to lose all four bottoms. If you lose
all four, but because I'm not showing you my bottom teeth,
you know what I mean? Like I'm'm okay as soon as I've lost one
I'm gonna be embarrassed and shy and try to hide it and
Honestly the them having other teeth nearby might highlight the missing gap hit the camera with a smile right now Jay
I just want to okay your bottoms can go
bottoms can go. Oh, that's right. Oh, yes. That's a $1.2 million. $1.2 million to get rid of my bottom four teeth or $5,000 a day. Yeah. Yes. Okay. We need to get back to the
tootin that you can make some serious cash. I can make some serious cash? I mean, what do I need more than $5,000 a day?
Do I need more than $5,000?
Are you real?
You might, but.
Are you hitting $5,000 a day?
Oh, I'm hitting $5,000 a day, brother.
Hitting 50 farts?
Is that 50 farts?
That's 50 farts a day.
Oh, he's probably hitting 50.
I'm hitting 50 farts.
That's so many farts.
Easy.
And?
No, I'm not making that kind of money.
I'm making like $300, $400 a day.
Now, can you? You know, I don't know how the rules work here, but once you got this contract signed
You know sometimes you can turn like when you got a big fart you turn that up in little parts
You know to be like hey, that's a new one
If you're running, oh yeah, but you're doing the walk parts those, those are the best walk farts. Each step gets
you a little bit more out. What is the duration in between blasts that counts as a new two?
Contract signed. I mean, it's going to be in the contract. It will be fine print. If
the trap door closes, it's a new fart. we go baby if I can I picture Jason getting
home from the you know grocery store six pack after six pack after six pack of
A&W root beer I mean he is chugging that stuff making his money doing your part
for your family I will eat so many beans like if you rip like just a triumphant
note like people gonna be shouting you're wasting money. Yeah, I will be disappointed in myself at that point.
I'll be like, oh, whoops.
$5,000 a day.
But I mean, think about that.
Think about $5,000 a day, which is very reasonable.
Dude, OK, what's the math?
240 days is all it takes to get to $1.2 million.
OK, so.
And I got all my teeth for Toots McGillicuddy over here for the regular
person. It's going to take some time but yeah if you're going like what three hundred or
how many farts per day do you do you admit the my dear friend the average human passes
gas between 13 and 21 times per day. So 1300 there That's three years to get to that amount of money.
Okay that's easy. Yeah. So that's probably the way to go. Yeah that's the way to go.
And we haven't even factored in the... The teeth are worth a million dollars each now.
We... No no no no no there's there unless you're talking billions unless you are
giving me money that I can buy a ball team with. I don't need more.
Because it's a one done.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just saying there's no amount that I would
take losing my teeth versus this free money from farting,
because think about the amount, I mean...
Because of what you need.
$1,300 a day.
And that's only 13 farts, which is pretty embarrassing.
If that's all you can fart a day,
1,300 a day is...
That's just breakfast time.
It's basically infinite money.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
I mean, unless I'm trying to buy a yacht,
you know, I'll save up for a while,
but just normal living.
Don't save up.
Right, yeah, you gotta let them go.
But yeah, I don't know how you could ever...
This is this episode.
Have me remove my teeth.
And we didn't even talk about the actual process
of getting your tooth yanked out of your skull.
I just am curious about that general question.
If it's a million dollars,
and you have the opportunity today.
Look right now, let's put Al and the three of us
in this situation.
You are...
The toots are off the table.
The toots are off the table.
There's a totally separate dilemma.
The doorbell for our office rings.
At the front is a well-to-do dentist.
I like him.
And he's got his bag.
And he walks in and he says...
But is he just like chomping his clamps?
No, no, no. He's like, ching, ching.
No, he looks, he looks like an upstanding
Open word.
Tooth purchaser.
And he says, I will give you.
Anyone coming in saying they're a tooth purchaser
is an evil scientist.
Regardless, he says right now, he goes, I will give,
he says, I will give you, you have one chance, I will give you a million dollars
for any of those insizers.
So you got eight teeth to choose from.
The offer is now, and you do it right now,
what are you doing?
How many teeth do you have left?
At the end of the day, he walks in,
he says a million a tooth,
you can sell me up to eight of your teeth.
How many teeth do you end up going home with? You can't replace them.
You can't replace them. All right, the talk. Oh man, so so
much money. It's a million a tooth. Al how how he's eight.
I don't know. Are you eight? No, I'm not eight. How many are
you? Six? Are you going just the top two left? He's going for
his four bottom. I think I'm going four bottoms. I think for $4 million. The only right answer. I think I'm at four box. It's either four
or zero off the one. Yes. The tops are off the limits. It's four or none. That's the
right answer. Now let me, let me just put a little twist on that question. Man comes in he says yeah I will give you five million dollars per tooth only one of
you gets it only one of you can claim this got it yeah wait I don't get it I'm
saying the first person of the three of us will take owl out of this the three of us
Just one tooth to sell one to he gets it
So you might be just you might think I don't want to do that
But if Mike grabs it you're gonna be like, oh no, he's got five million dollars for just a tooth
I don't care about the bottoms. I'd sell we'd all sell the bottoms
The real question is if he walked in right now and said I'll give you
Two million million a tooth
and he only wants to buy your top four.
That's the real question.
Would you sell, because I think, you got four.
I'll give him one for two million.
That's what I would do, I'd give him one.
I don't know, man.
I think I'd give him one and then when someone says,
what the heck happened to you, I'd say, I'm rich.
And I upped it it's
two million or two top four no not on the tops not on the top no way you get
those are worth two million dollars you better work on your closed-lip smile
well what's crazy is you're never smiling in your picture again never
smiling in your picture well you will yeah closed lip but your functions will
be fine you'll be fine without one too
for eating. So this is a hundred percent appearance.
Yes.
Yes.
And judgment.
Yes.
Due to appearance.
Yes, we are vain.
It's not just, it's not just.
So it's two million dollars versus vanity.
Yeah.
Oh man.
And I know it is.
When you say it like that, because it's worse.
It is. It is. But then reverse it. You have a
missing front tooth. Would you pay two million dollars to get replaced? And there's no way.
No way. No you wouldn't. No way. Would you pay two million to that's just your lot in
life. This is why. Oh we're. That's where that question was really interesting to me
because it's like but the difference here is you don't have two million dollars like. Yeah. I mean if you're telling me I
have 10 million dollars and it cost me two million to put that tooth back. Sure. Then
I might do it. No you would. You would hate you wouldn't have had a billion dollars. 20
percent of your cash. You're not doing it. Oh man.'re silly people. Yeah that's funny. Do we have
time for another one or you want to move on? Maybe we move on. Yeah let's move on.
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Liar liar, pants on fire. Oh boy. New rules edition.
All right boys, here's the deal.
Okay.
I took some time.
Yeah, some.
I talked to the Spitwads.
They reminded me, Al, you're 19 and 1.
And part of the fun of this segment is hearing you guys discuss these.
I wanted to make it in a way where you couldn't discuss them and team up against me, but I
think that would take the fun out of the segment.
Okay, all right.
So we're not changing the rules.
A man of honor.
Okay, we're just gonna-
A man of honor.
So we have a chance at a hot streak?
You do.
I cannot wait.
Oh, wow, no rule change.
Now Mike-
So that's official.
You just, we're not changing any rules?
That's official.
Wow, okay. Wow, that was a big set. So Okay, that was a word this whole time. Thank you nervous. Sounds like we're gonna go to know then
I believe you mean to at 19 based on the historical stats that we obviously forget except for the most recent one
Yeah, I think I think it'll be tough. So
Are those top three there might three to go with for our first one? Yes, sir. We got a formatting problem
No, that's fine. That's why I was just talking letting them do it. All right, we're in to lie a liar
We're on a winning streak guys. Let's do this. I bet he spent some time on these lies
Never worked harder on this segment
All right statement number one
the second most expensive animal ever purchased
was a rare lobster bought to be served as a meal
to Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman for his...
The guy's named Salman?
For his 37th birthday.
I didn't catch that, but okay.
The lobster cost 2.2 million dollars
and ended up giving the prince food poisoning.
That's truth or lie number one.
Okay, so just real quick, most expensive was seafood
to prince salmon and he got sick from it.
Okay, got it.
The world loves that.
Number two, the mushrooms in Mario games
are based on a real species called the Amanita muscaria
that when eaten make people feel like they're growing. That's a good
maybe lie. And the third one, autosomal dominant compelling heliopithelmic
outburst syndrome or Ah-chhoo Syndrome is characterized by uncontrollable sneezing
in response to the sudden exposure of bright light or sunlight.
So hold up.
The Ah-Choo.
Okay.
The Ah-Choo.
That makes no sense to combine.
Unless there's a band of scientists
that began the Ah-Choo, like, that's not like Buzz, right?
This is a band of scientists
who are in a comedy improv troupe.
Yes.
And they have decided.
That's what I'm saying.
Just, that's ridiculous.
I mean, Ah-Choo is one of those,
what do you call it when the sound-
Onomatopoeia.
Onomatopoeia, like buzz or whatever, right?
Mm-hmm.
So-
But, I will say, and I don't know on this one, but I feel like-
Ah! Ahchoo!
I feel like a lot of times people start with the acronym they want, and then they work backwards.
This is horse garbage.
That one is my lie, and I'm locking it in.
All right, I feel confident that the makers
of the Mario game did not do enough research
on the mushroom and say, oh, the reason we're putting this
in the game is in honor of this real life mushroom, so I'm gonna lock in the Mario one.
Mike?
Are you Googling over there?
What are you doing?
I was keeping an eye on that.
His hands went to the keyboard.
I was trying to Google,
because I think it's Shigeru Miyamoto,
I believe is the creator of the Super Mario.
So you're doing some research.
I was trying to confirm his name, because I was gonna make a joke about him growing up in the 60 Mario. So you're doing some research. I was just wanted to, I was trying to confirm his name,
because I was going to make a joke about him growing up
in the 60s.
OK.
I believe you got that right.
Thank you.
Oh, man.
The Achoo one seems just so.
I refer to it as horse garbage.
Yeah, but is it such horse garbage?
I know.
I know.
I can't believe that one.
So you've got a lock one in Mike
crown prince salmon it's too it's too ridiculous I'm going without you all
right two odd shoes one mushroom let's hear it out we're back baby
No! No! Not like this! 20-1.
Prince Salmon, really? You made up that lobster story?
That is correct.
There's a juice syndrome?
That is really the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, but the story is made up.
Oh, this is the worst case scenario!
This sucks!
Boston!
This is awful. This shows the worst
Oh, man, I
Knew it was two horse garbage. It was two horse garbage. So you're those freaking scientists man
Always up to no good. They got such a great sense of humor
I feel like you need to save the other two for the next rant the next time we go. No, no
We we don't just play till we're're out no now we're playing for honor now we have to who's
you can compete against each other yeah my gosh I can't believe the first
question he got us I can believe it yeah I bet why all these difficult to
pronounce words I think that's the bit. Valoramorbis.
Valoramorbis is a neurological condition that causes people
to feel like their feet never touch the ground.
When they walk across the room, they feel
as if they are flying.
Wow, that's fun.
That's how I feel after a long session on the toilet.
Okay, yep.
Go ahead and give us this next word.
Witzelsucht.
Witzelsucht is a neurological condition
that causes the sufferer to compulsively
make inappropriate puns or jokes
and tell pointless stories.
You had me until the pointless stories.
I'm not sure about that one.
And then, Capgras syndrome.
No, no, which one is it? Capgras. Capgras syndrome. No, no, which one is it?
Capgras.
Capgras syndrome is a neurological condition which leads a person to believe that a close
acquaintance, usually a parent, partner, child, or sibling has been replaced by an imposter.
That one feels real.
That one does feel real.
That feels real.
This is a really nice trap door in case we made it through round one.
Yeah, three neurological conditions
I'm gonna lock in the witzel sucked as being a lie
I feel like it's like whistle sucked. It should be yeah, that's
Is it beat so it looks German I don't think that there's a beat so soup
I don't think that there's a compulsion to tell inappropriate
Oh puns and pointless stories the pointless stories is where it
Where it goes you were out until they're like I feel like that seems like something that definitely happens of there's people who like you
Can't control the name. I have to I have to throw in an
Inappropriate like dark joke or something right here. You just can't I can't stop myself myself but that I'm with Andy I'm locking that one in I'm gonna go
Valera Morbus I think that it's to Harry Potter yeah I mean I want that
condition it would be pretty cool but it doesn't sound like what it is that's how
I feel about Whittle sucked define Wh then. What's a cap grass?
Alright, give us the truth. Alright Jason, pull it out to an early second
place. Oh yeah baby!
Valoramorbis was the lie. Dang it. Round 3, President Andrew Jackson's pet
parrot. Wait, just to be clear.
Yeah, no I know. Jason won that round.
Yes. Okay.
Yes, you're in first place. Alright. No, we're there Jason won that round. Yes. Okay. Yes. I thought you were in first place. All
right. Now we're there. You're hilarious. I thought maybe you thought I was saying that
you two were in first place. No, I was humoring you. Thank you. Round three. President Andrew
Jackson's pet parrot had to be removed from his funeral for screeching profanity at the
attendees. I have definitely heard that a bunch of times. I don't know if it's a lie
about Andrew Jackson. Yes. Yes. About Andrew Andrew Jackson's parrot I think that one's true
it's a nugget that's why I'm telling you guys it's in the back of my head too if
I feel like I've heard it in 2016 KFC released edible nail polish it was
offered in hot and spicy and original flavors
I that sounds like I'm putting it past them. Wow. Why home of the the double down and the third one here?
A French art collector once paid over $50,000
at an art auction for an invisible painting.
He claims it is on display in his house, but will not disclose which wall
it is on for the fear of theft.
People are so dumb.
That has to be real because art people do the stupidest things.
I think the KFC one's the lie. French.
That's my final answer.
I really wanted to go with the President Andrew Jackson simply because the lie was the first
one in round one and in round two and I feel like he would say like, oh,
they would never think I would put the lie in all three spots. But you guys saying that
you've heard this. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to say
that Andrew Jackson's pet parrot didn't do it at the funeral.
All right. The lie was the French art collector. Sweet. That's the one I pick. Yeah. You didn't
let Mike make his choice I
Thought he locked it life is meaningless right now. Anyways after that first round we tied for a second
Boy let's draft The Spitballers Draft
I knew I was thinking to myself Mike hasn't said anything
Yeah
I was pretty sure you hadn't locked in and but then you didn't kind of put
Up a fight at all because it was because I just got second place
Look if you're quiet and you bide your time sometimes it works out
Alright, we are drafting things that make you nervous things that make you nervous a million choices out there
With the first pick I have to go with what
I think is a common one. It is certainly the one that I notice the most and try to avoid,
but it is certainly heights. Heights in general, up the top of a ladder. If I am, goodness,
if you're at a canyon, type of thing like heights in general
they make me very nervous and it's grown with it it's not gone the other way as a
kid I was not afraid of heights yeah I had on my list being on a tall extended
ladder like yeah not no not necessarily a broad washing of all heights but those
things when I'm when I'm in those positions on like us not an a-frame ladder
But like the extent the shaky. Oh, man. I can't I just I can't do it man
I don't trust the device or myself
Yeah
It's just a heights in and of itself is just a really common fear and it certainly makes me nervous when I think about having to
Yeah, a regular ladder. I'm good really common fear and it certainly makes me nervous when I think about having to, yeah,
a regular ladder I'm good, but you get to a 12 foot ladder or an extension ladder, there's
a problem.
Yep, it's a good one. So for my first selection, things that make me nervous, looking at Jason,
what makes Jason nervous, and I'm going to go I mean speaking of speeding I'm going when the police are driving behind you
Because it is
The worst isn't that so weird how you know yes, you're just you're there's nothing that's gonna happen to you
You have yet you have that one. What's like? I mean I
Like I haven't done anything. I don't think I'm gonna get pulled over there's some reason you could hold over
That 100% and then you have times where are my tags right now where it's like you're on a freeway and
I'm in the carpool lane going literally the speed limit. And then I overtake a cop who's going slower than that.
And you're like, uh, what are the, what, what are the rules here?
Cause I'm not speeding.
I will not go faster than a cop if I'm near them.
Nobody does.
Yeah.
Because they know it's they think control the road.
They know what they're doing when they're going 63 in the 65
If I'm driving on a freeway and I'm I'm going you know three or four miles over speed limits totally
Totally normal not worried at all. I'm in the margin. I'm going with the flow of traffic and
As you're going all of a sudden off to the side, you see one. You see him out there ready to
get someone. I am in full freak out mode. I'm like, I wasn't speeding, but I mean, you're
just living in that rear view mirror now. Like, is he pulling out? Is he pulling out?
Is he getting me?
I better not show my brake lights because then I'm obviously admitting that I'm going
too fast.
I mean, yeah.
That's a good one. Police driving behind you.
I once saw that the greatest driving safety device
is a rear view mirror with police in it.
Like.
Just like a sticker or something.
That's what you need to do, man.
Just put a sticker on that rear view mirror
and every time you look,
you think there's a police officer behind you,
you drive perfect.
That's funny.
You also, anxiety ages you 20 plus years.
Yes. All right, Jason, what makes you nervous? You've got two picks
Okay in a row. Well, that was certainly gonna be
Two picks make you nervous
That doesn't make me nervous
honestly, I could say that my first two picks were gonna be being on a tall extended ladder and
Police officers on the road. Wow. Well done gentlemen. I'm gonna go my first one here
and police officers on the road. Wow.
Well done, gentlemen.
I'm going to go, my first one here, any kind of,
it's not just this, it's really body wide,
but just for the purpose of having specificity, chest pain.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course.
Is this a heart attack?
Yeah.
Oh, my finger's twitching.
It's really just any body thing that is.
Is this a stroke?
Yeah. As we get older, they're like, uh, this is fine. This is fine, right? It's
not a... It's fine.
I loved being at an age when you could eliminate them due to age. There was no chance that
it could be X, Y, or Z, and now...
When I take a deep breath, it kind of hurts. Am I...
Yeah. Do I have a rib out?
Yeah.
Or am I...
Dying.
Or am I... Do I need to go to the hospital right now?
Oh, man., yeah that's...
That's gonna get better with age.
That's nerve-racking whenever the body is not doing what it should.
And then...
Hoo... doggy.
I got a large list here and they're all about the same to me.
I'm gonna go with one that I have not necessarily...
I have not personally experienced to the level, I've experienced it in very minor
ways. But I've seen it, I've watched it, I'm always freaked out by it. I can see a situation
in the future where I do experience it, I will be beyond freaked out about it. But it's basically swimming in the ocean.
Like if you're swimming off a boat in the ocean,
there's, you know what I mean?
It's like, there's-
I have big shorts and stuff out there.
Like I don't think I could,
I don't think like if I was out on a boat in the ocean,
I don't think I could jump in the water.
Just jump in and- Yeah, out there. Not on the beach, was out on a boat in the ocean, I don't think I could jump in the water. Just jump in and-
Yeah, out there.
Not on the beach, not in the tide.
Exactly, just swimming out in the ocean.
You wanna know how I described that?
It was the second thing I wrote down.
Big open water.
Yeah.
Just the, when you don't know what's under you,
and it's dark and deep, that is terrifying.
You have no idea.
You could be jumping on a shark. So the idea of swimming in the ocean makes you deep. That is terrifying. You have no idea! You could be jumping on a shark!
So the idea of swimming in the ocean makes you nervous. Yes.
Part of... That would make me nervous as well.
Being a taller fella, there are rarely pools where you can be full on just kicking your legs
without any kind of crouched position. When mean, when I'm in a pool, I'm always crap.
My feet are always pulled up at least a little bit
because otherwise you're going to kick the bottom of the pool.
And it's the same mostly in the beach situation
because there's rocks and coral and all these things that
are going to cut you up.
When you get into the water where you can just fully kick
and you look down and
You're making me nervous and you don't know how far down the ground is and like you can hold your breath and try and go
touch the ground and maybe not make it it is a
Freaky freaky sensation. Yeah, which is like I mean, I assume it's just cuz you're like I'm a I'm a human
Yeah, you're little that's big like I should not be in the water this deep
But yeah, I agree it is there is something about that is there. It's it's part magical
In a part terrifying like it's like go out on the Saharan Desert, right?
You're you're you're out there and there's lions somewhere nearby, okay?
Okay.
Now there's, let's say there is one.
And you could see a, right, you could see a lion,
you could see a cheetah,
you could see whatever could kill you, right?
Well, the Sahara's a different environment.
Yeah, yeah, no, I got you.
And you would not get out of your car and go on land. If you're on a
safari, yes. Now pretend that they were all invisible. You
get in that car? Some of them were in the grass. Yeah, I mean,
it's like that's what that's what people do on the ocean.
Yeah, no, that's a good answer. And it was, I was trying to just
let things come to me on this. Just like, what was my first
thought and in big open water like
I you know you've been out on a lake. That's big enough and deep enough you feel weird there, too
And that's not even there aren't even sharks. There's just a no those are monsters. Oh
Lock Ness monster that's that's actually true when we when we go boating on our local lake here
I I swim, but I'm always nervous. Oh, I don't want nothing touching my leg. It's a little different.
Yeah. Okay. Where are we. Back to Mike. We're back to me. The police are driving behind
you. You're feeling a little nervous. What's your next pick. Apparently I'm just afraid
of the man because this is a you got to do it every single year. Got to pay those taxes.
Really. And he's a little nervous. They freak me out. Unbelievable.
Because, well you're like one of the fellers like, you can do your own taxes I imagine.
Sure.
Like, I cannot.
Because they, the forms-
So it's like a mysterious open water of potential penalties.
It's a completely different language.
And all, I go to a person and I just trust
that this person knows what they're doing.
You're not gonna get audited.
And then I'm not gonna get a letter later
from the IRS that's like, hmm,
we're gonna need to look into some things.
You're like, I don't have the receipts.
I don't have the organizational skills
that I can prove all of these things.
And I'm like, and.
The IRS is listening right now look I
Mean I your social Mike
Am I supposed to give that to you right now
but it's like I I
If I'm skirting any rule, I don't like I
Believe I am doing it completely my fair share
But it still freaks me out the idea that you could
get a letter in the mail that says you didn't do it right and now you need to
prove all these things and you're like I can't. I'm like how am I possibly gonna
prove all of these things to you? That's interesting. So you are afraid of getting in trouble from people who have power.
Yes, yes the man. This is good to know.
All right, I had heights, afraid of climbing up
that tall ladder as my first pick.
My second pick, when I think about,
I mean, when I think about getting nervous, genuinely,
I am a sports fan.
And I feel the nerves at the end of sporting events.
I didn't even think about that.
I mean, genuinely, if you wanted to tell me how can you guarantee you can get your
heart beating really fast in a perceptible way where if you're wearing a
halter monitor, your doctor's going to call you.
It is a hundred percent the end of a sporting game that I care about for
the team that I care about.
I remember Jason, we were at
the NBA finals and Jason Moore was crouched in a position that you could only describe as abject
terror slash fear. Yeah, fetal. I mean this was the nerves, I mean sporting events has always done
that to me. I've always been like, why is my heart beating so fast? It's like mind, body, fandom, football.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
I think it's not on my list
because I didn't really think of nerves.
It's a good nervous.
Right, it's nervous excitement.
It's like going to a horror movie.
Yeah, versus nervous to go to jail.
No.
The other thing that makes me nervous, a little from left field here, but it
pumped into my head. So I'm going to go with it. I'm a dad. I have three kids.
I've been through the baby phase for three kids. No problems.
But if you hand me your baby,
it's a whole different ball game.
Cause it ain't mine. Yes.
Yes.
And I've already forgotten how to hold them and it's your baby.
And the, the, the thought of doing anything to hurt another person's baby.
I am an awkward nervous mess holding somebody else's baby.
So that one popped into my head and it made me laugh. One of my best friends
recently had their first child and I went over got just incredibly sweet baby
and like you want to hold him I'm like I'm like Mike yes and then I immediately
sat down. I lay down on the bed. I, I don't know that I've held a baby since,
and you have three, since my youngest, you have three kids. Yeah. Who just, I think who
I would just turn nine and I'm like, I don't have these skills anymore, but I want to see
your, your fun new cute baby. And I know what it was. There's, there is a little bit of
panic of, of inside of like, I don't know what I'm doing anymore
It's so weird, especially having been through it with your own kids and certainly was nervous the beginning of having your own kids
But but the idea of being handed somebody's baby was I think a funny one. That's very funny
I'm going okay. So number three here. Yeah, which which person in power is the man is gonna make you sweat now Mike
This one is not the man. Your parents are lawyers. This one is not the man. This
is my my own worst enemy being myself. So this is just I mean, you have to kind of be
in a specific place, but it's the rumbly and the tumbling. Oh yeah. and there's no bathroom that you are aware of
Gotta go and gotta go like having you know As we say on the show redlined where you've where you've gotten to the brink of disaster on too many occasions
It is now a a panic inducing
Effect for me where if like because we all at this age, you're in tune with your
body. You know what's, when there's certain movements and sounds that happen inside, you're
like, that's the timer and you can use tick tick tick tick.
This is why you need your boot chute.
Yes. Yes. 100%. That would be fantastic if I could get that rearranged. But if like you're
in a car ride with, in like, you know, like an interstate drive,
and you feel it go off, and you're like, oh no.
You just, yeah, the alarms are going off,
and it doesn't even need to be that extreme for me anymore.
It's just, when I feel it go off,
and I know that I'm not close to a bathroom,
palms start getting a little bit sweaty.
That's pretty funny.
All right, Jason, you get to close out your picks.
All right. Chest pains in swimming in the open ocean?
Yeah, I think those are two that are common to a lot of people that would get nervous
in those situations. These next two are Jason's specials. These are things that I'm sure that I'm not alone, but these are not gonna show up on people's lists,
I don't think.
The first one is opening gifts in front of the gift givers.
Oh, that's, that is brutal.
I hate it, man.
I hate it, I get so nervous because like-
There's expectations.
I don't-
Can I dig in here? Sure. Can I ask a question after you explain it? I hate it. I get so nervous because like there's the expectation. I don't. I don't again here.
Sure. Ask a question after you explain. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I don't like things like I just,
I don't really care for many things. The things I do like I, I get myself. And so like I just,
there are most things that people are going to get me. I just don't care. And I totally
appreciate the giving of a gift,
the fact that you went and found a thought about me. Like I understand all that. I just
don't actually care about whatever this thing is going to be. I don't want it. I don't want
you to give me a gift. I don't ask for gifts. I tell people I don't want gifts. And I just
hate the fear of disappointing them. I'm going to put on a happy face. I'm going to say thank
you. I'm going to say, Oh, no, really this, you know, all that jazz. But I, I'm so afraid
they could see through me. I'm so afraid they could be like, he does not care about that.
And you know what? You're right. I don't. So I get so nervous. And I, I mean, I love
so much, um much not getting gifts.
I was gonna ask you, does this extend all the way down
to like, you know, your wife, she's got a heart of giving.
Oh yeah, she.
And she real, I mean, of all the texts I've ever received
from your wife in my life, at least 90% of them have been,
do you think Jason would like this?
What, you know, it's something about a gift
she's thought to get you.
Yeah, I mean, it's tough because, you know,
she loves me and she wants to do well
and she knows my proclivity for fear of opening gifts
and whatnot, so.
That probably makes it more fun for her.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's really funny too,
because the gifts that I end up really liking
a lot are always just unexpected.
I think the best gift I ever,
I've received in the last, as long as I can remember,
last Christmas my daughter got me these little,
little cleaning wipes for my glasses.
Dude, I love them, they're incredible.
Practicality.
All right, my other one.
So I need one more thing that makes me nervous.
And this is, I'm sure a lot of people are like this.
I would imagine, Mike, you are not very much like this
because we just talked in the studio today.
You have such a good memory.
You have such a good ability to remember things.
But when I go to a place or I'm in a situation
where I know I'm supposed to know this person and at least know this person's name oh
my goodness I hate it because I don't remember you and I don't remember your
name and I know that I'm a jerk and I'm so so so sorry but please I just don't
I don't want to be in that situation.
It's just, it's stressful.
It's how my brain don't work.
I'm so sorry.
My memory is excellent for a lot of things.
Dates and names are not one of them.
And as though I'm with you, like I, there's nothing more. I know the faces, but I don't know the
names and you just become very adept at listening to people's conversations or finding someone
else to try and tip you off with someone's name is nervous. Like, like, oh, it's the
worst. You know, if I go, Hey, there you are. Uh-huh. It's you again.
The worst time was a while ago when I went to a friend from high school's wedding and
then I'm around a bunch of people that are... But going to a, I don't know, whatever
year reunion it is.
Nightmare for you?
I want to go.
That seems like fun.
Oh, that sounds awful.
No, I don't want to go.
I don't actually want to go.
It seems fun in a vacuum, except it seems awful for me know I won't I don't want to go I don't actually want to go like it seems fun in a vacuum except it seems awful for me because I
Won't remember you don't want to study your yearbook. Yeah
Give name tags to those events. Yeah, but that's to try to save you not good
But they don't want to they don't want your eyes looking at that. Ah
What's Frank Frank, of course?
All right, that's a good one And that one I've seen you deal with.
Yeah, you know me from high school. I got some texts from Jason going, please tell me
his wife's name or something like that. Alright Mike, back to you. Final pick, what makes
you nervous? Alright, so this is a funny one. I get it for the purpose of the game. We can maybe count only one of
these, but it's it. I feel like it has to come with a combo because it's just so ridiculous.
So part one is when my wife doesn't answer the phone. Oh, I know which, which I've talked
about this before. And the other part is when my wife calls me because either one either one sets off a panic alarm.
That's a that's an anxiety thing because when I call my wife and she doesn't answer she
has been kidnapped and right and her car is greened off a clip.
It's been a yes.
Yes she is.
Parish she's been abducted.
She's gone.
Basically I'll never speak to my wife again.
She has left and if she calls me,
that means that someone else is, uh, is no more. Like my parents are gone, but something's
wrong with my kids because I didn't get a text message. If I get a phone call, we have
moved to the stage where if my parents call me, the first. If the first thing I say and they laugh at it now is everything
all right. Yeah. The first thing is you know that when my when my wife calls and like during
if I'm at work a non normal time and she has gotten it she's tried to help me show like
she'll text and say hey are you are you busy? Not in emergency.
Yeah.
But even still, immediately I'm calling.
Probably pretty serious.
What's going on?
Everything's OK?
Everything's all right?
Who lost a leg?
Wow, yeah, no, I get it.
And it is weirder now because phone calls are less common.
So the phone call breaks through as like a inherently more important thing which telemarketers need to understand that's
fair when my phone rings I might my blood pressure goes up all right my
final pick got a few more on the list I'm gonna go with surgery okay yeah
surgery slash like medical procedures things where you are once again
Not unlike your taxes. You're trusting another person you barely know
To perform something on your body when you have no say no control. You just get to wake up later
You know, it can kind of go to the dental world too. because sometimes, you know, if you get your wisdom teeth out,
they put you under, you're in a different state.
Sometimes it can be a test, right?
They put you in twilight sleep or something.
Just those things make people nervous in general,
and they certainly make me nervous.
So are you more nervous of the procedure itself,
or are you more nervous of going under and being completely?
More nervous of like not recovery, not dealing with any of that more nervous of like I have
no control of this situation. So I'm handing it off. I'm handing
it off. Something could go wrong, I guess. Yeah. And you
know, I'm the opposite. I'm like, if I've got to get
something if I've got to have a dental job done, I'm worried
about the procedure. I put me under just like put put put my
life in your hands. That's fine. Let help me not remember it
So long as you wouldn't be nervous if let's say that has happened and you're getting driven in to do that
You'd be fine. Yeah, totally fine. If I know that you're gonna put me under I'm like, you know, they're like sir
We're going to reorient your mouth in a vertical position when you wake up. You will have a vertical mouth
Have you have you had anywhere you're not put, like just like a mole removed or any of,
and now do you watch?
No.
Or do you look away?
No, I can't watch anything done to my own body.
Okay.
Because I get a, my body responds to it.
You get the reaction, yeah, yeah.
I get the vagal response.
But I don't mind that if I'm fully of full mind,
I actually like, even though it's more painful,
it's something about
the control, giving up that control of, not that I'm controlling the procedure anyway,
but just that I'm aware. And I guess it's as a dad or whatever, like, you know, worst
case scenario, when you think about that, you're like, do I need to write letters to
my kids today? You know, like, right. I need to get my affairs in order, which is funny. So, um, that'll
do it. My other in contention. Oh, bees. Oh, you said bees making nervous. Yeah. The fear
slash nervous is very close. A horror movies, the nervousness of going. That's why I hate
them. Nausea in general. Any form of no, you know, is this leading somewhere? Are we going on? Is this going to a town
I don't want to live in, you know? And then I said that holding other people's babies, roller coasters, and then the unknown in general.
Just the unknown makes me nervous.
I had airplanes.
Yeah, they do make me nervous.
Which there's some nausea related stuff in there and being late.
Yeah, I get it. I understand it. I do not like it.
I've got being the passenger seat driver because I'm never the passenger seat
driver. The phrase we need to talk.
Oh, that's the worst. I mean, there's nothing just start talking to me, bro.
You make me so nervous.
Because that's, that is the phrase that is preparing you.
You're not going to like what I have to say.
We need to talk.
I'm giving you $3,000.
That's never happened.
No one ever says that.
No.
Having the scat always makes me very nervous.
That was on my list.
That is so true.
And then my favorite one, we actually talked about this before the show so I didn't interrupt
it, but opening a can of biscuits
You know what we're talking about then you know it you
You peel off that paper on the outside wrapper and all of a sudden owl said as soon as you unwrap it is you you have
A live grenade in your head at any moment that biscuits gonna pop
Any out anything that makes you nervous that we didn't mention today?
You covered all the stuff that I had on my short list.
Okay, you didn't say like losing a liar liar,
that doesn't make you nervous?
Not anymore.
What did we learn today?
What did we learn today?
I learned that scientists are even more ridiculous
than I have thought they were
with the achoo system or syndrome. I learned that Al has not lost the step. We thought maybe
he would, uh, you know, fold, collapse into a group. He regrouped and he brought some
real real lies today to the show. And I learned that there is a lot of flawed logic in money I would not take to lose my tooth and not pay to have a tooth
back in place.
The tooth goblin! I'll give you two million.
Thanks for joining us.
Oh my goodness.
Thanks for laughing with us.
Hey, tell your friends about the podcast, please. Your friends and your family, they'll
like the show. Goodbye.
Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up
to, check out spitballerspod.com.