Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Toasted Mold & Things That Are Clear - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

Spit Hit for May 18th, 2026:  On today’s episode we learn all about how to properly toast mold (and frogs), play a round of Ballerdash and cap things off with a Things That Are Clear Draft that will have you rolling. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Wickedy, wickety, bickety boop, bidingi. Wickedy, huh? That's the only part I knew going in. And the rest was... Couldn't find lickety-splikiddy?

B-dingy. Also explain the hat to me because I didn't I was unaware until you were halfway through your scat. I look up and I see you in the monitor and your hat is resting on your nose. What was that about? It was just to stay like hidden. Like maybe the mystery, maybe if I didn't look at you guys, maybe it would come out and it'd be really cool. So were you keeping yourself away from the world or the world away from yourself? It depended how the scat went.

Ah, he's in the scat zone. I'm in the scat zone, Jason. Squeed at that bad dude. Get out of there, man. It's terrible in there. just you and John. Wickedy, wickety, wickety, spliccity. That's what I should have gone with.

Welcome in. Would you rather Ballardash and a draft on today's episode of the spitballers? Andy Mike and Jason with you. We've got Al Borland in the building, Papa Josh, the falcon over their inducer's alley. Three dudes combining to do the job of half a man. So thank you. Thank you for being here. We will kick things off right here right now.

first I'll remind you, you can follow the show at Speedballers Pod over on X and tell your friends and family about the podcast. We would really appreciate it and you'll make, uh, you'll make their life. Do it. Or else. Oh, that's at the new. Whoa. That was serious.

I'd feel like I have to do it now. Yeah. You want to know why? Because I don't want to know why. Oh, or else. Or else. Oh, it's a new technique. I love threatening our audience.

Well, they should know that it, we were all fun in games. Until you don't share. Until the threats. So like Mike said, share it or else. Here we go. Would you rather? All right, Cora from Patreon writing in. Would you rather every person in the world be given $10 million?

Or only you are given $10,000. That's a weird question. Cora is challenging our generosity. Except I don't think Cora understands how the economics of the world works. Yeah, that would be a bit of an inflationary situation. If you give everyone in the world, every person, $10 million, you are toast. Well, also you did nothing because everything is going, I mean, if that's what everyone has. I'm saying for you, you personally, yeah, like the world will stay close to the same,

but you won't be able to afford a thing. Well, yeah, a big Mac's going to be like, you know, $50,000. Yeah. The trick would be to spend it faster than the impact that, you know, of the event. For the other people. If everybody, let's say instantly, everybody in their mailbox is $10 million, if I go out and spend my $10 million really, really quickly. Oh, before inflation hits.

Before it all catches up. All right. The $10 million is going to take a while for $10 million. not to feel like 10 million to the world. It's everybody else. It's not you. Now here's the thing. Oh, wait. It's not you at all? Not you at all. I thought it said everyone in the world. No, it says, would you rather, you know, I get, I think you would be included.

Okay. Oh, you're included? Yeah. That's how I interpreted it. Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm going to spend that so quick. I think you have to go spend it fast. Because if you all got it right now and I ran out, there's no way they're not taking my money. No, you can go get something right now for $10 million that is worth that. Even the car salesman that's got the 10 million waiting for them at home doesn't know it yet. If you went out and bought a $10 million house at current value and then everyone's filthy reds, right?

You know how much that house? I'm going to turn around and sell that house two years. Flip that house. If you, if this happened, how long does it take for all prices to catch up? if it happened and it was newsworthy yeah it's like it's as a global event it's two months holy crap under a week i'm going under a week i mean it would be quick it would be very very quick i think it's more of the comprehension

i think it's more like let's say you're a person that sells goods how do you process that that fast right like we we do the draft kit for the footballers like okay everybody instantly like what do we do with the i wouldn't want know what to do exactly with the price right away. I'd be like, uh, well, it's different because ours is a digital product. But when you've got, I mean, your inventory, if you're a brick and mortar, you sell potatoes. You're about to be out of potatoes. You got no more potatoes to sell because everyone can buy them now and everyone's buying up your

potatoes. You've got to make those last potatoes more expensive. I mean, it's got to have. Supply demand. Supply to me. That's just, that's just common sense. But what will your potatoes cost a couple days into this event? I mean, they just keep going up until they stop selling.

And then they go down a little. You think potatoes would be one of the hot rush items? I don't. I don't think that that's what people are going to rush out for. Is there a vegetable that would make it? A nightshade? Truffle, I don't know. Is truffle a vegetable?

I don't know. No, no one knows. Now, the falcon. Pigs find them. The falcons like, well, if you have 10 million, do you really need profit? Is that what you just asked? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the answer is you're going to because everything's going to cost way more.

Right, exactly. If you hold on to that 10 million and everyone out there's a 10 millionaire, then you're just you're just exactly the average person and then costs will go up. I mean, that, yeah, it's not. So just give me the $10,000. Yeah, so the great news after all this is I now have $10,000. Yeah, and you don't. So it's such a small.

Also, how many potatoes can I get with $10,000? Well, the option is $10,000 or $60,000. All of them? Oh, man. Would you take $60,000? Over $10,000. I don't. They go bad pretty quick. They do. They sprout. They get stinky.

They stink. Also. You ever pulled one of those out of your fridge? Yeah. Where all of a sudden there's a creature coming out of the potato? What's the worst thing you've pulled out of your fridge? Oh. I mean, that's pretty. I know what comes to mine. Oh, if you have a story, please do share.

This isn't a proud, this isn't a proud moment. Yeah, all right. But, you know, you go and you do that, you clean out the fridge thing and then you get to the back. part of the drawer that has been full for a long time and there is usually something along the lines of what once was a zucchini or

a cucumber. You're saying it's liquefy. Yeah, that thing starts melting. And you've got to find a way to pick it up, but you can't because it's like hot butter. I mean, I'm gloving up. You know, you're... You want to throw the drawer out. I want to throw

the fridge out. I mean, I don't want to get a new drawer in there. Before you, even I was going to say it would have been something that liquefied. It would have been something hiding back there that just became a new substance. It's not a liquid. It's not a solid. It's not a gas. The vegetables are all of them.

The vegetables are worse than the meat because the meat stinks, but the meat is usually packaged. It's in something. So if you didn't cook up your chicken breast, it's wrapped in cellophane and you could see it's nasty. But the vegetables are exposed. At best, you were lazy enough to not take it out of the little bag you put it in in the grocery store, but usually the vegetables are out in the open.

And you don't want those things going bad. That and the, like a real furry block of cheese. Oh, yeah. Yeah, those are. That those are. Said a couple. Yesterday. You ever name them?

I have not. Is that a good technique? Oh, yeah. I mean, when you get, if you, if you've got enough fur to go, you know, to the groomers, then you deserve a name. That's how I, that's how I look at it. Good. So, yeah, yeah, furry cheese for sure.

I saved my son from a, from making a bagel the other day. He was walking through the fridge and he was about to cook the bagel up. And I looked at it and I was like, that's covered in mold. And he was just going to eat it. Yeah. So I felt like I did a good deed. So if you put, like, how does, I know mold can, it's like, it can survive a lot, but can mold survive a toaster?

Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. I mean, like, what type of heat do we have to, to deactivate or kill the mold. I don't know enough about mold to know if it can be deactivated. It will still be there. But you're saying whether it's dangerous.

Yeah. Like if you put mold a moldy piece of bread in a microwave for a minute. Bad news, guys. That's probably still living. Toasting bread is not going to kill the mold. That's terrible. Mold can survive. How hot does it?

How hot does a toaster get? What about microwave? Let me, I'm on it. Oh, did someone answer it? How hot does a toaster get? Someone answer that. Like someone's just got the answer. Oh, it's usually like 285 degrees.

It says about 500 degrees. And mold's like no problem? It can go up to that. Yeah, I mean, mold. Dang. Mold's cool. Molds got, they got it going on. Most molds are usually killed by heat at temperature

between 140, 160 degrees. I mean, come on. Toaster's got that covered. I would think so. But it's how long it's at that temperature. That's what normally makes a difference. It's how long it's... I mean, a minute, right?

I don't know. I see people questioning, why does it so hard to kill mold? I see that. This says while toasting can kill the mold, it does not neutralize the toxins that the mold produces. Ah, there we go. Okay. Yeah, because you could kill...

So once mold always toxic. Yeah, like if you kill something, it could be dead like a plant, but the plant could You eat that plant, you're still going to die. Right. If it's a poisonous frog. Right. The frog can be killed. You can get rid of the poison.

You can't get rid of the poison. You can't get the frog in the toaster. Yeah. Does it hold on. I'm on it. You can't eat the toasted frog. How long do you can toast a frog? No, a toaster will not kill frog venom.

Frog will. It won't kill frog venom? No. It'll kill a frog. Yeah, the frogs toasts. How long can you toast a frog without it dying? Okay. Toasting the frog without causing harm or death is not feasible or ethical.

Just so you know. That's good advice. Who's the party pooper over there? Chad to be AI. Frogs are living creatures with sensitive skin and delicate biology. Subjecting them to heat or any form of. quote, toasting can quickly lead to severe stress, injury, or death. So don't do that.

Well, what if the frog was already dead? Because people eat frogs. You know what I mean? I'm not buying a frog to kill it to eat it. But if I want frog legs. Do you want to toast them? I would have rather than raw. Do the French have a fancy frog cooking machine?

The French? Yeah. That's where you eat fraud. Yeah, that's the only people I know. The frog legs are French? Yeah. They've got so much. good food. Why are they doing that? Oh, they got snails and frog legs and baguettes.

Don't you know anything about the French? I'll be honest. I was kind of conflating the French and the Italians in my head for a minute. Like the Italians wouldn't be caught dead with frog legs. No, they got pasta and good stuff. You want to go to Italy? Yeah, I really do. I genuinely do. If anyone can get me to Italy, I'm open. I would love to go to Italy. Let's go. I want to eat a ton of fresh pasta. You want to go? Right now? Yeah, Mike, you got this? I guess I'm going to France. No, you got to do the show.

Cora from Patreon, we answer your question. Bryn from Patreon, your local wizard appears. Oh, not again. Your local wizard appears has announced. Oh, great job. Al, why don't you read this one? Typos mean you get to read them. Your local wizard appears, and he has announced that he is sending you back to your freshman year of high school,

but he will give you your choice of the following gifts. Okay. Would you rather have insane top-tier athletics? that ensures you are the starter at whatever position you want. Oh, man. Perfect charm that attracts your crush and easily persuades others. I already had it. Go on.

Or academic genius that easily has you graduating at the top of your class. Athlete. Yeah, it's definitely athlete. Athlete, done deal. Athlete will come with the other things. The grades will start to look better when my coaches. The girls, you're dumb as a rock. You have no charm.

Yeah, my, I'm like you're the quarterback. Yeah, check this charm out. Swish. Yeah, exactly. very charming. I'm going athlete. Yeah, and since I already had the charm, the only thing left is academic. So I think I'm good here.

Mike, what are you picking? The face Mike gave you. Athlete is. You were my high school. You knew. I knew you didn't have the academics. I made you in a freshman Spanish class. Yeah.

You were missing that one. I mean, the athletics is really appealing. But, man, had to have. just unlimited charisma because it's not just you with dude it's awesome it's my it is everything it's the one I would have picked

not just you trying to to pull in the ladies I mean you can easily persuade others it worked on teachers everybody it worked it from faculty to janitors to okay so then jaclassmen what in the world happened I got fat man

I got married went downhill let myself go. I just stopped care about life. I'm on my way back. I'm on my way back. I'm going to get. We're all in big trouble here. Well, no. It's going to be good for you. My charm is going to, you know, rising tide. So we're going to be good. Okay.

This has become something different. I think which one are you going to take? I think I'm going to take the charm. Okay. It would be. You would have to talk to other people though. Not much. That's part of it. Not much. Oh, you just got one liner. It's just perfect. I said,

do you that's not very charming but it doesn't matter because I'm rolling Nat 20s all the time I wonder if you would enjoy those moments and talking to people more if you were just so naturally charming when I got to turn it on

it's unlimited okay this is turned into the weirdest would you rather of self-grantization it runs on nitro so it's like the gas tank burns out real fast. Oh, so you can just, you can turn it on, but it's just once a year. All right, Brian from Patreon, would you rather have everything you say be perceived as unintelligent or be perceived as insincere? Oh, man. Insincere is a weird descriptor. Like, that's not

like you're never, I have actually, I have a couple people that I know. They cannot, Maybe that's not really insincere, but they can't say something sincere. They can't say something without it being tongue in cheek or a joke. There is no serious. So there's there's also another side of being insincere, you know, that you just feel like people are really fake. You just feel like everything they do, how they act, their laugh, their comments, their niceness, whatever it is just it's all phony. It's for show. I can't stay in that.

But if you're if you're perceived as unintelligent or insincere, one of them seems. more contrived and one seems accidental. Unintelligent is like, well, add who I am. Yeah. I, I am, I am like Ducer's Alley, right? Go to Ducer's Alley. I'm, I like all three of those guys, you know? And they're, they're doing the best they can.

And they are sincere. And so I feel like this question kind of answers itself because I, I, I, I, I, I, I love them because they're not insincere. But I mean, you know, they're not insincere. sincere. The intelligence side. I'm not going to be dumb. Yeah, me neither.

I will be dumb. I would definitely choose the dumb. Because I think if I, if I look at it with someone else, you, you don't know. You're dumb. Exactly. I currently don't even know. You probably think you're really smart. I think I'm so smart.

Yeah. Okay. Most. And I'm happy. Yeah, there is a good part. I'm happy living there. Maybe. Maybe you're happy.

Now, here's a thing. There are dumb people. people that you like, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you view them like everything they say is unintelligent. Yeah, that's fair. So this question is even worse. The question is... Yeah, dumb and unintelligent are different. This is something where when you're going around and you're saying things, everyone is rolling their eyes going like, oh my gosh. Yeah. What an idiot. No, you can't watch a YouTube video and remove a gallbladder. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean?

That's really unintelligent to think that. I'm going to be insincere. Am I getting no smiles back there? Oh, Josh. Papa Josh didn't like that joke. You were getting smiles from the two people that you weren't referring to. All right. Wait, go to Papa Josh real quick.

Papa Josh, do you believe that if you watched a YouTube video of how to remove a gallbladder, you could successfully and safely perform a gallbladder surgery? easily and I believe he's sincere. You said you could land a plane. We'll move on. I can land a plane. The plane basically lands itself. Mateo from the website.

Would you rather? Yeah, what happened? Would you rather have to awkwardly tickle everyone you say goodbye to? Oh, no. Or be tickled by everyone who says goodbye to you. You have to pick, I mean, you can't pick tickling people. Would you want to assault people? You can't pick tickling people.

There's none of us are allowed to pick, who do you do. Especially people you just met. I mean, you say goodbye to people. Oh, nice to meet you. I'm not the Pillsbury dough boy. Like, you cannot awkwardly tickle people you say goodbye to. What about a back rub on the way out? Oh, man.

No. The touchy-feely people out there, they exist where they're just, you know, they don't have the social bubble that everyone has. No, and they get so close. They're so close. And the people that are so close, they're handsy, too. I know we used to go to lunch at a place where there was. Oh my goodness. You already know.

There was a waitress. Yeah. She was a nice waitress. I don't feel like that was a proportional amount of handsy. Oh, my gosh. I mean, you knew whose order, whose turn it was because she's rubbing your back. It's like, ah. It's not appropriate.

It was very, no imagine tickling. No imagine she's tickling. I like, I wanted the pizza. I didn't want the, the side. Oh, man. Man. I mean, have a social bubble, people.

I was so happy to not remember that. I know. That was, that was, it was like, I mean, they had great pizza. So it's like,

oh, man. I hope they're not working today. I'll be, I'm going to sit on the inside, guys. We would definitely try to get the inside seat. I'm selfless today,

guys. I'll be, I'll be inside. Should have worn shoulder pads with spikes on. I'm going to go to the restroom, get me a slice and six wings. Oh, my gosh. All right.

We'll take a break. We'll be back. with some baller dash what time is it game time all right i we have been given five prompts from five different categories ballers gave uh we gave al our answers prior to the show he's going to go ahead and read our answers along with the real answer it's our job to identify whether what basically what the real answer is we've never explained to get him properly in our life and and try to trick the others into guessing all this wee stuff over there. That's right.

You never have tried any of them. You will get two points if you guess the correct answer, and one point if an opponent guesses your answer. And those five categories are definition, notable person, acronym, movie plot, and weird laws. All right. Sounds good.

All right. We're going to start with that definition. The word is Pogo NIP. P-O-G-O-N-I-P-O-O-N-I-P. Pogo-N-N-P. Is that a thick fog? that forms in deep valleys during the winter. Canadian slang term

for a blizzard that lasts a short period of time. Okay. The tiny remaining pieces when a sugary liquid crystallizes. Or a pungent-smelling bush that grows in the Ozarks. Dang, man. I like the Ozarks part.

All right. So a thick. Pogo nip. Fog can be. The can't. Canadian short blizzard. The pieces of the liquid. The crystallized sugars.

Yeah, or the bush in the Ozarks. I'm taking the Ozarks. Do we rotate? Is that how we normally do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'll start then. I'm going to take the Ozarks. Okay.

So then I'm up next. Mm-hmm. Poganyp. I don't think Canadians would say it. Poganip. Poganip. Poganyp. Say it like a Canadian.

Poginip. Pogo nip. Yeah, it doesn't work. Pogo nip. That's better. I'm going to go to that one. I'm going to go to the Canadian one. Really?

That one's fun. Oh, man. I was going to go sugar crystals, but the way that Andy said it when he was reading it back, made me think it was his. I like the answer the best. I'm going to go sugar crystals. You guys are all getting one point for somebody guessing each one of your answers. Nobody guessed the correct answer.

Was the fog? Was a thick fog fog that forms in deep valleys during the winter. That's a Pogo. I was the Canadian one. Yeah. Mike was the sugar crystals and Jason was the Ozark. Boosh. Wow.

Nice. I knew what the Ozarks in there. I was like, this is, that's too much. All right. I was hoping it was. Yeah. All right. What's the next one?

A notable person? That is correct. And our notable person is Frank Bennett. Oh, Frank Bennett. What was Frank Bennett known for? Was he a man known for having hands larger than his forearms? Come on. That's not a real thing.

The first person to circumnavigate the globe on a boat with no sails of any kind. What is just rowing? That people have, so people are, you on a motor, maybe? I know that there have been people who have taken like a canoe globally, but then you see the canoe. And you're like, that's not a can. That's a big boat. All right. Was Frank Bennett known for inventing the milkbone dog biscuit?

Okay, dog biscuits. Or was Frank Bennett a dukeman? up singer from the 50s that had a run of number one hits. No, I mean, obviously, when this came across, because we've all made up one of these answers. We all want it. Frank Bennett sounds like some old, what are they? Frank Sinatra mixed with a rat pack, Tony Bennett. Tony Bennett.

Yeah, exactly. So, no, it's not that one, because I didn't. I was like, don't be a singer. Don't be a crooner. This can't be that obvious. I'm with you on that. So. I guess you get us lock yours in first.

Oh, Mike. No, I'm up first. Okay, so it's not the doo-wop one. We got dog biscuits. We got the boat and the hands bigger than the forearms. Yeah. Yep. I don't care if it's right.

I'm going to take the hands. That can't be it because that can't exist. That can't be a real. No one has ever had a handbearing. I don't care. It's too funny. It's too funny. I'm going to go dog biscuit.

I'm going to go dog bone. I'm going to go dog bone. All right. The correct answer was inventing the milkbone dog biscuit. All right. I thought for sure my laughing of the hands would get you to guess it. I was going to say, Jason laying on thick his own, his own person. He made up the hands larger than the forearms. Yeah. That was you. So Jason, I believe gets three that round and he gets two. No, I do want to see a man with. Yeah, that's correct. I do want to. Because Mike picked his? No, I didn't pick. No, I picked the hands. Yeah, that's Jason's. Yeah, that's mine.

So Jason gets one point for that and two points for the correct answer. Beautiful. Okay. Good work. All right. Amazing. So we are moving on to the acronym. The acronym is CBA.

Is CBA the Chocolate Berry Association? Come on, man. Is it callback artists? What? Okay. Catholic Basketball Association? Good. Or Christian Bodybuilding Association.

Um, okay, Jason's first. I'm gonna go chocolate berries. Um, delicious. Callback artist. Uh, I will go the Catholic one. You guys have done it again. Yeah. You each get one point for guessing somebody else's answer.

The real one was the Christian bodybuilding association. Oh my God. I felt like because there was both a Christian and a Catholic, like that was just where our minds went and that. I almost went, I invented the Catholic Basketball Association. I almost with the Christian Basketball Association. Oh, that would have been very close. But that would have been weird. All right.

So Mike was the chocolate berry. Jason was the callback artist. Andy was Catholic basketball. You each get one point there. We did it again, boys. When you have an acronym. We love each other. And the last one is A.

It's like, Associated. How do you, you can't think of an possible other word. That's fair. So through the first three, we are sitting with Jason with five points, Andy with four points, Mike with two points. and we are moving on to the movie plot. Oh, boy. These are fun.

The name of the movie is All the way, boys. All the way. I don't know how to inflict that properly, but it's all the way, comma, boys. All the way, boys! All right. I got you. Is that a war drama set in the hills of Eastern Poland and the first movie to feature actors that were actual veterans in World War II? All the way, boys.

Was it a documentary on Sweden's men's volleyball gold medal trip? in 1996. Volleyball. Swedish volleyball? All the way, boys. Or is that a couple of bumbling adventurers crash land an airplane in the Andes Mountains? There's no way one of you guys didn't come up with the word bumbling.

There's no way. I'm not voting for that one. And lastly, is all the way, boys, a group of childhood friends makes a pact to join the police together, but their family dynamic is rattled when one of them makes captain leaving the others behind. I know you read these from small cards, man. I just can't believe that that answer can fit on it.

What was that last one again? A group of childhood friends makes a pact to join the police together, but their family dynamic is rattled when one of them makes captain leaving the others behind. I mean, childhood friends feels like something you doofus is right next to bumbling. Now I'm like leaning towards the war drama or the last one. Man, could people, I mean, I feel like having actual survivors, was that World War I? World War II.

Okay. W.W. A war drama set in the hills of Eastern Poland and the first movie to feature actors that were actual veterans in World War II. That feels difficult. All the way, boys. I guess I'll go that stupid long one at the end, but I am on the edge. All right.

Andy is going with the police one. The friend's police thing. The police one? You're up, Mike. I know. They're all really bad, including my own. I'm going to go. I'll just pick the one I like the most.

It's the Swedish volleyball team. There you go. I'm going to go with the Andy's Mountain bumbling. Was that the bumbling? That is correct. Yeah, a couple bumbling adventures, crash land and airplane into the Andes Mountains. Yeah.

That is the correct answer. Woo! So Jason's going to get three points. because Mike also guessed his answer was of the Sweden's men. It was the funniest one. All the way, boys. Mine was too serious. It wasn't funny enough. Mike is going to get one point

because Andy guessed Mike's answer of the police friendship. It just didn't seem realistic that they could have had in a drama, not in a documentary series, in a drama, they're going to have actual people from World War II like, how old are they in this drama? It was filmed really quite soon after.

They made movies in the 50s and the 40s. There's definitely some World War II people that got into the movie business, man. It was a very believable answer. All right. We're going into the fifth round. Is it double points? Jason is a strong favorite. It's not double points.

Why are we not double point in the last round? Andy can still tie it up if he gets it correct and both people guess his answer. Ooh. We got Jason with eight, Andy with four, Mike with three, who is, I believe, no longer in this competition. He can beat Andy. The weird law. In Helena, Montana, an old law stated that a woman could only dance on a table if she was. Yeah, where is it?

Where is that there? Don't do that to me. What is it? Helena? Yeah, there you go. Like Helena, Troy. All right. In Helena, Montana, an old law stated that a woman could only dance on a table if she was over the age of 50.

Okay. Wearing over three pounds of clothing. Three pounds. Okay. The weight of the clothing. wearing athletic footwear. Okay. Or celebrating her engagement.

Not the marriage. Okay. Over 50, three pounds of clothing is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Yeah, because the only way that you know if it's legal or not is we got to weigh those clothes, won't you? That's inappropriate. Why don't you put those clothes over on that scale? There's a problem there.

Absolutely not. But also, that's the answer. They'll take the three pounds. Well, you know what? I'm going to give Andy a shot here. I will take because if I guessed anything other than three pounds, then Andy can't win. Right. But I like that answer the best because you'd have to take the clothes off to measure. It makes no sense. So I will guess three pounds. It is potential that if that is Andy's answer, he can win. Andy, what are you going with? I'll do the athletic footwear. The correct answer was wearing over three pounds of clothing. Oh, my. So Jason and Mike each get two points for that. And then Mike actually gets one. more point for the wearing athletic footwear, which was his answer. Yeah, there you go.

You passed me. We're going to finish. Jason with 10. Mike with 6. Wow. 10. That's a dominant. How?

Who made these rules? It was an old law in Helena Montana. You got to weigh yourself? You got to weigh yourself before and after you put your clothes on? I guess. Okay. We'll take a break. Back with the draft.

The spitballers draft. We are drafting. things that are clear. All right? Okay. That's what we've been told. We're drafting things. We, things that are clear.

And I have the first pick. Oh, man. You lucky dog. I know. There's a clear 101. Oh, I see what you did. I, I have kind of two things that I,

that came to mind when I thought about things in the world that are clear, that I would want to draft. And so I had a. first thought and then I had a second thought and I'm going to go with the second thought. There's an expression. Crystal clear. And it applies to my pick, diamonds. Ooh. I'm taking diamonds.

It's not a bad. It's not the one of one. But it's not a bad bit. I mean, there's clarity is literally one of the factors of evaluating a diamond. So it's one of the seas. One of the seas, huh? Yeah. So I'm going to go with diamonds. I feel like that's a good answer.

It's on the list. It is a good answer. It's probably the most valuable of everything that's going to be drafted. We do add these up and make sure they weigh more than three pounds of gold. Yeah. Or else get off that table. Mike, you are up. I thought you were going to take my pick.

Which is clearly and obviously. A crystal ball. Oh, the 101 falls to me. Yeah, the 101 in the clear draft, Jason. Congratulations. Enjoy your boring pick. I'll take a crystal ball, baby. A crystal ball.

A crystal ball. It's on my list. I like it. it a lot. So we both chose crystals. You both chose clear things. Yeah, but I mean, crystal, clear. Yeah. Jason, what are you taking?

Well, I'm going to take the thing that we can't live without we will literally die without water, and if you think about clear things, I'm taking H-2-0. Yeah. Yeah. Snoo's fast.

And now for my second pick, for my second pick, I am also taking H-2-0. We'll take ice. No. I am taking a perfectly clear large cube of ice. I have tried for years to perfect this. I have stopped.

What adjacent answer? I have... This is an important... I just want to... Make sure I understand. I made a joke about you being basic and you're going to take ice and you said no. Clear ice. No. I said clear, large, cubed

ice. There's a different. reference, Mike. I have spent a lot of time, money, energy, and effort to try to create perfectly clear large cubes for my whiskey glasses. How do they do it? It is darn near impossible. You basically have to either do it inside of a cooler or inside of a freezer, or you have to actually have a giant block of ice and you chop it down into the cubes. It's so hard, which is why when I go to restaurants and all of them seem to have it. I'm like, how do you do this? Do you don't know how they do it?

I know, I asked them. Artisan ice. Yeah, there are. There's a company here in Arizona. There are companies. I started, I started just buying them. There are companies. Like Christoph?

There are companies that make millions of dollars a year, manufacturing ice and cutting it into small cubes and selling it and shipping it. Worth it. It's impossible to do on your own. Now, wait. It doesn't make the drink more cold. It's just the sum for you to look at. It looks better.

Well, it looks better, but it makes the drink not too cold. Because if you put ice in there, it just dilutes. But what if it was a foggy piece of ice? Yeah, that's what I was saying. The fog doesn't affect your drink. Well, no, I disagree. I think that there is a visual and aromatic. All of these come into.

But the aromatic is affected by the fogginess of the ice? The visual is affected by the fogginess of the ice. The visual doesn't affect the taste. So you see the smell? If I look at something and I think it looks appetizing, it is likely to take it. taste better than if I look at something unappetizing and I eat it.

This looks fancy. It looks regal. My nose is in the air, sure. But I mean, this is, when I tried to put a list together of like clear, I have tried to get clear. Yeah, I just was like, what's the most boring stuff? Nailed it. I got

water and frozen water. He forgot he wasn't drafting with the guys from his smoking lounge. Can you, like, the water has to make a difference. The water does make a difference. I mean, Arizona water. Arizona water is just, it's the worst.

It's the worst water imaginable. It's like little pebbles coming out of your shower head. I mean, you, I feel like I have to replace showerheads every couple of years because they're just, they're clogged. They're just, you can't, you spray straight anymore. Oh, man. Mike, you are back on the clock. All right. You lucky dog.

So shoot. Water and ice are. Frozen water are gone. available. Also, steam's not clear. So all water is completely gone. Oh, man. I messed up big time. Yeah, you did. I mean, you guys had

picks before me. Let's see. I just want to make sure that it's clear. Well, it's just like, is this the pick that I want to go with? I'm going to go with I'm going to take an NBA backboard. Oh, that was like my sneaky pick that I thought was going to get back

to me. Well, maybe you shouldn't have taken ice. Well, no, he did not. take ice. Oh, yeah, Andy. He took a huge giant clear ice. A perfectly clear large cube of ice. Yes, I did. And it's a great thing. He doesn't get the perfectly clear part at the front of that answer. But that is part of what I'm drafting.

But I have tried, and my issue is, oh, okay, no, then I can I fix my pick? Perfectly clear diamond phase. Yeah, I would like to take a, that's a better diamond. An unpainted clear NBA backboard. Perfect. Right it in. Also known as Plexiglass. The clear should be implied here.

Yeah. NBA backboard. You take that word clear out of the dock, Jeremy. It's nonsense. I'll give him large. I'm not going perfectly clear, though. Get that out of there. I agree. I agree completely.

I'll do it myself. Also, no paragraphs is your answer. My two questions, my two answers here, I'm going to go with jellyfish. Oh, that's where I was. I was really torn of, do I go jellyfish or backboard? Which one will make it back? And it was not the jellyfish. I'm going to go.

What a horrible animal to come in contact to, but a cool one to look at. Right? It doesn't make sense. How are they? How are they? How are they? What are they? What are they?

What are they? They don't make sense. No. And they eat things. Tell me about it. That's so weird. So if they eat something, you can see it. Yeah, I suppose.

It's like when the blob does it disappear or do you could like it? It's microscopic, man. Do they eat like a shrimp? It's too small. I don't know how it works. No one does. Papa Josh mine. Oh, a marine biologist.

Talk to us about jellyfish. Those things are weird, man. They're aliens. Good answer, good answer. All right, for my... There was a chapter on it. That's all it said. For my third one,

I am going to dip into Jason's, you know, territory here. Ooh. I'm going to take vodka. Oh, okay. I'm going to take vodka. So diamonds, jellyfish and vodka. That's my world. All right, Mike.

Now, perfectly clear vodka is what I'm talking about. Of course. And they have foggy stuff. You don't want the foggy vodka. Also top shelf. Don't forget that. Yeah, we're not taking things that are foggy. What do you want a plastic bottle?

Okay, so I'm back up. Yes, you have a crystal ball and an NBA backward. I'm going to take contact lenses. Oh, come on, man. was the only thing left on my list I liked. They're incredible. Yeah. Also very clear.

They have to be. Are they incredible as more of a mythology to you because you can't wear them so they seem more special than they really are? No, I think that the fact that you can put it inside your eyelid and that it's okay, that that's fine. And it for the most part stays in place, just hugs your eyeball. Even while you move your eye left and right. And then you can see. And now your vision's fine.

It blows my mind. Now, this is, today was the day that you learn that when they give you an IV, they don't put a needle, then keep the needle into your vein. I didn't know that until today. And honestly, a lot of people listening are about to learn that. Because even at our lunch table, there were a handful of us that were unaware. I always thought that the needle goes in, the IV and then stays there and they tape it down and whatever. but apparently when they put the needle in

it's more like a catheter they take the needle out and they just leave a little tube in there it's a soft flexible little tube oh it still makes me cringe but that is so much better it's impressive it will help your future I think if I ever have to get an IV again it will not hurt it it will help but I'll still be a big baby all right contact lenses Mike Jason you have water

and a large cube of ice great picks man great and you said you have so many others on your list of clear things that you're in love with. So many that I could go with. I have four different options on the rest of my list. Well, you only need two. Yeah, so I could double up.

How many rounds do we want to go? A large circle of ice. I'm going to go with something that protects us every day. I'm going with the car windshield. Oh. Because without it. I, I, I thought you were going a little bit bigger there. Yep, me too.

Me too. Well, like, how much bigger? Well, we'll tell you after the answer your next. No, just tell me what you thought I was going to pick. A lot bigger. A lot bigger. A lot bigger. Yeah.

It's like big as the world. Yeah, yeah, that one. Like. You still don't know what it is. Atmosphere. Well, yeah. It's sort of like that. It's around there.

Oxygen. Oh, yeah. Strike two. Oh. Okay. He's looking for something other than whatever number four on that list is. I don't know if we're doing a bit. I think Mike thought it was oxygen?

No. No. Okay. We're both. Yeah, okay. We're not doing a bit. I don't. I don't have a clue.

I wonder if the listeners know. Oh, they know. Oh, man. I hope they know. I hope it's your next pick. Ducer's alley. Raise a raise of hands if you're in. Two thirds now.

All right, the young buck doesn't know. It protects. Well, he has less than we had. We're fixing it. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I have no idea what this is. You better take something.

I have no idea. Just take your pick. Give me Sprite. It's clear. Whatever. That's fine. Mike can decide if he wants to take it. I, uh, it wasn't even on my list.

I know. I think we pass on it. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I just, I'm so curious. We'll let you know in a moment. I know how the Falcon is feeling right now and how a lot of people driving are feeling like, what is the thing? I got one left over now. I'm going to take packing tape. You should have taken that. You mocked. You should have taken the one other one that we were just saying.

You mocked my perfectly clear large cube ice. Yeah. You took packing tape. What is wrong with packing tape? Nothing's wrong with this. It's pretty lame. Oh, okay. You, I mean, it's cool. It works. It's sticky. But it's not, not boring. Yeah. Okay.

Are you pretty into it? Packing tape is fun. Okay. Okay. You can, like, you could take a box, right? You can close that box. And then you can make sure it doesn't open again. No, I got it.

And you can barely even see that something's holding it closed. Okay. Because it's so clear. I'll be honest with you. I can 100% of the time tell when packing tape's on the box. But it's clear. How do you see it? Yeah.

And yet you can still tell. Oh. man um well i i'll close it out with um clear skies i'm going to take clear skies is that is that appropriate i didn't know if it would get in there i don't give a crap man but the sky you can take the sun for all i care i don't care black polos fine by me i'll close it out with clear sky clear skies today i mean no clouds no no no i know what it means no pollution so like i could have gone like clear head. Yeah?

No, I mean, clear head's not an expression and it's something you look at. Deucers can decide. I don't care. I got other stuff. I'm not living on. I'm with Jason on this one. He doesn't.

You don't care. Mike, I don't care. I will say if clear skies is a pick, clearheaded would also be legit. Oh, clear headed. Yeah.

I thought you said a clear head. No. I was like a clear head. No one could see through anyone's head. So wait, do we have any, Papa Josh, why don't you tell the people? We don't care.

Tell the people the one that he didn't figure out. Air? No. No. Ozone. Thank you. The ozone layer. I said the atmosphere.

But the atmosphere is not the ozone layer. But I wanted it at all. I wanted all of the layers. Some other considerations. Glasses or sunglasses? Sure. I'm so disappointed with ozone. Jello?

I was waiting for some big reveal. Jello. Jello is red. it's clear. Jello is always red. That's not even true. I'm going to have to go with jello's red. Yeah.

But it's clear. You can see through jello. It's got to, it's... Wait, you're saying that if you can see through something, it's clear. Yeah. That's not the definition of clear. Yeah, no, that's transparent. Clear skies is being explained right now.

Yeah. So, then, in that case... Clear is no color. Film is clear or not clear? because you can hold it up and look through it. Yeah, I would say that's translucent. Sap? No, sap is definitely not clear.

You can see through it. You don't know what transparent and clear are. Those are due different words. How did this happen at the end of the track? First of all, I must have picked four good ones first. Second of all, clear, like when I looked for clear things, these were all on the list. That's, I mean, clear. Dumb.com.

When I, when I asked for a list. of things from the internet. I found many things that were on the list that I did not add to my list because I was like, oh, that's not clear. Yeah. Like a Ziplop bag. Boy, I got away with murder here. Saran wrap.

Yeah. Yeah. Are you, Al, all those weird? Am I in? I would say something that is transparent is clear. Yeah. That's literally the definition of transparent. That's right.

That's the definition of transparent. Yes. Not the definition of clear. It's like an absence of color. You can just see right through it. We don't even know what we're drafted. Oh, man. start over.

So you're saying like a glass of beer. That's not clear? Correct. That is clear. No, it's yellow. You can see through to the other side of it. Oh, so it's transparent. This is,

this is. It is also transparent. So like a. So when you get one glass of beer and you can see through it and one that you can't, you go, oh, this one looks clear. So like a sheer piece of fabric. Mm-hmm. You can see through that.

That's clear. Is that clear? No, that's foggy. That's translucent. Yeah. Thanks, Al. But you get. Okay.

The only thing that's not clear are these definitions. Oh, here you go. Josh says clear means that you can see through it and it is colorless. There you go. Transparent means you can see through, see objects through it, but it may be. Oh, that's like what we were saying that time. I lucked into picking four actually clear things. Yes, you did.

And didn't get to the bottom of the list. No, great job. Because packing tape and some of these other ones got me there. Okay. Well, good. I'll jump in here. I learned that clear needs to be colorless. Yeah.

I learned that once upon a time Jason was charming. Yeah. I learned that you guys think ozone is better than atmosphere, which makes no sense because I got it all. I had the ozone in it. Did you take atmosphere? No, I was trying to guess. You said, oh, that's not it.

It's better. He went with Sprite. Oh, that's right. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.