Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Urinal Hopping & Best Things That Come In Pairs - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

Spit Hit for Sept 18th, 2025:It’s another laughter filled episode from the Spitballers. This week we discuss the fine art of urinal hopping, dig deep into the world of toothbrushes, play a round of Man of the People and then draft the best things that come in pairs. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Adada, a didi, a dodo! No. No? No.

I don't know. I just... You haven't unfurled the mystery yet. It came in pairs. Oh, my goodness. Oh, 20 out of 10. What say you now? Better than I originally thought.

Yeah. But, I mean, you can't just have a secret code. It's got to also like, I got to like it too. But I appreciate it slightly more. We are. It's a real Dan Brown right there. Well, the ending. That's the guy right.

Yeah. I was going for a Da Vinci. No, I get it in the Da Vinci Code. No, that was Dan Brown. I honestly think I was fine with most of it. But the way you ended was so funny to me. You were just like, wee. Because I knew there was a mystery to unravel in the scat.

But then the ending was a mystery also to me. Yeah. No, I mean, you could have leased Biddingi. I don't charge a lot. Ooh. I think I might try a Bidengue. I will never Bidding. You'll never be dingy.

I will never. Well, look, that's why you ended up with a we. I will shaboie. Again. Okay. All right. We can do that. Welcome into the spitballers, Jason Moore, Mike, right, Andy Holloway with you. Would You Rather on the show today? Back by popular demand, man of the people, also on the show today. Very fun game that I love. And we are drafting the best things that come in pairs, just like Mike's. I mean, everyone who heard the scat, they already knew.

So thank you for joining us. make sure you tell your friends about the podcast if you would like them to feel joy, be happy, to laugh. The podcast is free, and so the best way you can support us is to tell others about the show and to, you know, click that follow button, review the show, and use nice words when you do. People love helping people. I know that. And doctors have started prescribing our podcast.

Really? Well, they say laughter is the best medicine. And so they're saying, hey, have we closed any doctor offices? Not that I am aware of. They're just like, we brought in the crowds. Our Western medicine cannot compete with a podcast. It's such a high level comedy. If you take the script to the pharmacy, they really don't have a device they can give you, however.

So you'll just need to subscribe. And we appreciate you. And, you know, in the spirit of best things that come in pairs, tell one friend and leave a review. That'd be like two things. I thought you were going to say tell two friends. That's also an easier thing I should have said. Here we go. Would you rather?

All right. First question on would you rather comes from Seth. Would you rather have to stop at the store every day on your way home and buy a new disposable toothbrush? That's a funny world to live in. Or have to use the same toothbrush for five years before replacing it. look you go ahead oh boy we are going to learn about how long this man has used the same two no no no no no quite the opposite um i i i have i have a dirty mouth no i've bought a new toothbrush i it has to be more than everyone in here it has to be for and sometimes for different

reasons but i feel like like you want new technology yeah sometimes i want new technology sometimes like we go on a vacation it's like where where is it i can't find it and then it's like okay well i'll just get a new one because maybe it's been upgraded you know it's like i feel like the last the toothbrush the old just the regular plastic toothbrush well no i don't use a regular plastic one he's using some high-tech apple tooth for travel yeah he brings it with travel cases you know he brings it with you bring your bougie toothbrush on the road i bring a disposal 100% of the time on the road it comes with a travel case for a reason uh it's too travel sure but like I you know what I'm talking about the half toothbrush

yeah comes with the toothpaste and you just bring that and leave it that thing ain't clean in your mouth might as well just use your finger just put some toothpaste on your finger be like I'm a rub it around those little half tooth brushes so you're just burning money I certainly um yeah these toothbrushes they have they have gotten pricey I mean

have you noticed the difference oh yeah Big time. It's so much better when you spend hundreds of dollars on a toothbrush. So you, you know, if you have to stop and get a disposable one every day on the way home from work, that's tedious. I think you'd have a quick habit. You know, you'd help for a short line and grab it and go.

Five years with the toothbrush is a lot. That's too much. I cannot do it. What about sanitizing, though? You can sanitize. But you are, like, Listerine used to be popular. And my dad had Listerine growing up. That's a mouthwash.

They would use that to clean the toothbrush? Well, I'm just saying if you leave it, Listerine has alcohol in it. It has alcohol. So, like, if you just put the toothbrush in there, I feel like it's. I was told to microwave the toothbrush. You ever did, you ever do that?

You're plastic? That seems like worse. Yeah. Like maybe the brushes get clean, but then you get like microplastics all up in there. It's got to say on the bottom, not dishwashing. are safe, not microwave safe on a toothbrush? Did you have you microwaved?

Oh, yeah. Any of those highly electronic ones? No, not the battery operated, but like the regular, you know, just comes at a four-packed toothbrush. I have, so let me see if it doesn't melt? No, it doesn't melt that I am, that I can see with my naked eye. Interesting. I would think it would melt.

I, the way that I brush my teeth is with such ferocity. Oh, you're vicious? Yeah, I mean, I know the dentist is like just a gentle brush. You don't believe it. But, yeah, no, I don't believe you. I don't trust that. Well, well, well, if you're looking for the best way to disinfect a toothbrush, you have several options. But first, you should note that experts don't recommend putting your toothbrush in the dishwasher or microwave.

Oh, okay. Self-dunk. You set us up and knocked us down. That's like, time out, bro. We got to start with the source. If you're going to be coming in to prove your point. That's literally, I started Googling immediately. Yeah. It's like, don't do that.

But mine, I've got, I mean, I do have one of the fancier toothbrush where you just, you replace the head of it. And I mean, it's just, it's a few weeks. A few weeks after brushing, my toothbrush, because you flattened it? It looked like it got back from nom, dude. This thing is just, it's clinging to life. Like, please, let me retire. and they say to like replace it once the like blue the blue is like worn down you know they put oh yeah that's three days that's three days and they set you up for that oh they're i mean

i feel like the first time you brush your teeth with a new head you should just look closer your teeth they're probably all blue i need to take oh no they're bloody is what they are oh yeah those fresh toothbrushes they are strong i need to take a poll in here what percentage of people in this room because we got the deucers over there in deusers alley and uh raise your hand over there if you have a an electric toothbrush okay two thirds and then over here raise your hands

if you have an electric okay two thirds so two thirds over here two thirds over there I don't know I just not that into it my 11 year old has one of the old school toothbrushes too so that's cool mine's only I'm more mature than you because I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars I only I upgraded

because I got the one that has the water pick built into it see I can't before that. Before that I can't do any of that. The water pick? No, man. Oh, man. Dude,

I got caps. Here's what you got to do. Step one. You brush just as hard as your muscles will allow. And then the water pick, that thing is at a tent. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, no.

That's what you do? You destroy everything in your mouth. No bacteria shall be alive in here. Why don't you buy a pressure washer then? If there was one that fit into my mouth, I would do it. Dude. I keep mine at 10 as well. Yeah, my man.

My man. What? Yeah. I've had one of these. We burn it out. I just. You don't want that. You've got caps too, brother.

Dude, if you accidentally hit your tongue, it will bleed. Oh, I've had. No. You could cut your gums with that for sure. It's a laser. My gums are tough. That's right. Mine are talused over.

Yeah, we've worked them up. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I mean, I needed to work up. I was at like a three, and I felt like. A three. What are you, a baby? If I could have, if I could have used this thing. Just cut your first tooth?

I could have cut my tooth out. I could have just, like, sawed away at my gums with that thing on a three. You're not brushing hard enough, man. Apparently not. A 10? Yeah. That thing can carve your initials into a tree. I promise you.

Yeah. And you know what? 10? It's not enough. I need. Are you upgrading the battery? If they gave me, like, the super powered water pick that went to 15. I'd be on 15 tomorrow.

I'm not going to lie to you. I am so impressed right now. Like, I'm like, wow, Mike, that's good work. Hot water, level 10. Let's take care of the business. I went back. So I've, like I said, in the last- To those that don't know, there's a toothbrush that has a water pick feature inside of it.

That's what you're talking about. Correct. And a water pick is a stream of water that substitutes for flossing, and it can shoot in between your teeth. Or in my case, shoot my teeth off. Because I've got caps on some of them. And I was told by the dentist. I'm not joking. This is the real story.

He goes, you need to start using a water pick once you get these veneers on. because you need to really clean between the teeth. It's very important. Okay. I use the water pick. It blows one of the teeth right off. I come in and I go, I use the water pick and it took the tooth off. He goes, I think, yeah, you can't turn it up that high.

I'm going to. I was like, you put the tooth on. I'm going to be honest, man. The person who put most of your caps on, you soft white bread took them off. So I don't think it's a water pick problem. It didn't help. So I've gone back from the waterpick to, you know, I mean, there's, there's newer colors and stuff on the other, on the other kind. Oh, yeah, there's like gradient now.

It's really nice looking toothbrush. What is the toothbrush? The looks of the toothbrush is. You want to be stylish. Yeah, it's nice. So he brings it on the road in the travel kits so that the people that clean his room can see how cool his toothbrush is. You see this toothbrush? That must cost like $8.

Nope. The regular toothbrush. So what features You just have old school You go to the dentist They hand you a toothbrush It's oral B Yeah, those suck

Yeah, they're handing me garbage No no But I'm saying like that's That's what you're working with No You're working with a caveman toothbrush? No, that's what I'm saying I'm working with

What's on it? What's on my toothbrush? Yeah I got a pressure sensor Okay, if my press it's too hard Pressing not hard enough It lights up when you You know

Oh my gosh Yeah because I learn that Most people brush her teeth too hard. Mike. Yeah, but that's what about this, it should never go off because you can't brush your teeth too hard. No, that's how you get receding gum line. No, that's how you get good strong

mangum. That's how you get man gum. You want man gum in your mouth. My teeth ain't never falling out. Mike has got no gums. My gum is made of cement. His gums are gone. It's just, they're, like all they do is bleed anyways. Get rid of them. All right. All right, we got to answer the question. This will be the whole show. Same

toothbrush for five years or on the way home. I have to get a new one. Yeah, I'm getting a new one. Jason will be broke, though. In five years. Well, I'm not kidding. No, you'll get a disposable electric. In five years, if I'm forced to keep a toothbrush, all of the bristles are gone.

I'm just using a piece of plastic to creep away at my teeth. Dude, I can't even imagine. Like, I've got the pressure sensor on mine. I'll bet when you brush, it just starts screaming. It just didn't stop it. Stop doing this. Make the switch to steal one. wool. I know you want to. It's time.

I'm going to look into it. And then just the final pro tip here, which is great when you, when you have the water pick, I don't know if this happens to you guys. But look, when I'm brushing my teeth, the wife frequently likes to screw with you. Like you get the credit card butt check or just anything like that. While you're, oh, yeah, while you brush your teeth. Man. You know, all you have to do, just pull that tooth brush you out. That's a weapon. Yeah, she's gotten laser strikes a few times. So she's got a few scars on her legs.

So what? Yeah, she's missing a leg. Oh, my gosh. All right. Ethan from the website, would you rather start every sentence with, I guess what I'm trying to say is? At the beginning? Yeah, at the beginning. Or end every sentence with, so, like, do you know what I mean?

I'm, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not sure about this one. So, like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, look, I, the, the latter. It's going to get. annoying to say it every time but that you got to go with the do you know what i mean really i was on the other side i am too because the so do you know what i mean sounds more like teen girl in high school i don't like the word like in it's if it was if it was do you know what i mean yeah that's fine but we say so like do you know what i mean it sounds like i'm an idiot the comma's after the like

so it is so like do you know what i mean okay now you're the idiot yeah okay that's fine That's much better. That's a good point. And for those that, you know, obviously. Who's the idiot is the part of the conversation we should pay attention? Who's the idiot? I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want to be the idiot in the conversation. So like, do you know what I mean?

I do. If you start every sentence, I guess what I'm trying to say, you are the idiot in the room. Because you are unsure of everything that you are saying. It lets you soft pedal the fact that you are right. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what you mean. I guess what I'm trying to say is that feels like a soft way of saying what you were going to say. I guess that means you've got no conviction.

If you've got to do this one, every single sentence that you ever say, which, I mean, both are nightmares and you're going to be annoying and all that. It's whichever one you can get out quicker. So it's like it's got to become an idiosyncrasy that people don't even pay attention to anymore. So it's like, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to go with the one that's easiest and quickest. I guess what I'm trying to say here. Oh, my God. No, it's. That would kill me.

Tons of people have a word that they'll throw in at the end of a sentence. And it's, it's almost a, are you still listening to me? I've got one family member that has that. Oh, what is the phrase? And everything. Oh, yeah. So it's like, so anyways. We went, anyways, we went on vacation and everything and we went and we saw a movie and everything and then, you know, and everything.

It'll be like 20 times in a few minutes and everyone else in the family and everything kind of knows that it's coming and everything. I think it is easier to throw away the end of the sentence than to throw away the beginning of your sentence. Yes, it's the trail off. Yeah, exactly. You could just trail it off. The problem is. That would be a funny one. If you just had to lower your voice and trail off at the end of every sentence, you know what I mean?

But the problem is, so like, do you know what I mean? It doesn't work for everything. If you're saying something debatable, that's fine. But if you're like, you know, Michael Jordan had 23 points in that game. So, like, do you know what I mean? What? Yes, I know what you. I can hear you.

Or if you're testifying on trial. Okay. Your Honor, it was him. Like, you know what I mean? I think I'll go with that one. It seems entertaining and at the end of a sentence. Yeah, I do too. All right.

Noah from the website says every weekend now where you live. It's a three-day weekend. Oh, heck yeah. It's been instituted by the government. Would you rather have the Monday or the Friday off? Noah. You've got to think through things here. Okay, explain it.

It's really easy, guys. How many holidays do you know us that fall on a Friday? None. None, but I know a lot to follow the Monday. You got to strategize. That's an extra day off. That is a very, very short working week. The four-day weekend is legendary. Yes, it is. Those happen from time to time, and it's like you don't work for two weeks. That's how it feels.

That's what I'm going with. Oh, for sure. I mean, it's pretty easy. How many holidays? I'm just trying to think of just to answer the question. Like, if Monday was always off. Wouldn't they move those holidays? Well, it's just off for us, just for you, right? No, this is where you live.

It says every weekend's now a three-day weekend. I mean, like. They might, but that's my rationale right now. There are five of the 11 federal holidays are permanently scheduled to fall on a Monday. There's 11? There's 11 federal holidays. Five of them are permanently on a Monday. Gotcha.

Others might fall on a Monday, but there are five every year that are Monday. Would you rather have a stranger sit next to you in another? otherwise empty movie seat or otherwise empty movie theater or have a stranger stand right next to you at the urinal in an otherwise empty bathroom so the movie one sounds unbelievably awful the bathroom one is there a divider it even if there's not it's uncomfortable for a short period of time or a long period there's rules for those that don't know about how you approach a urinal wall and the amount of people in different spots and where you're supposed to go. They're just unwritten and you follow them. But they never account for the

reality that, like if you walk into a bathroom, I'm going to set you up, situation. You walk in and there are five urinals. Yep. That's the go-to. Okay. And there's a person on one end, the other end, and in the middle. Right. Okay. So you're, so you're, going you're next to people no matter what right are you waiting for you're not waiting for no you're not waiting okay so you're going to the bathroom and guess what if the middle let's say you take one in between and then the middle person leaves oh yeah you seem like now you if someone else walks into the bathroom how far they think you've chosen to be directly next to the other guy that it that is a problem and we're talking about like i've already engaged into the stall

Yes, engaging, I mean, like engaging into this stall. You can slow walk it over to the urinals, hoping that. No, you've started. Okay, so I've, well, it's not just started, but. You're in process. Okay, well, I mean, there's you just got to live with this. Well, I'm just saying there's a way to be. What are you doing, you psycho?

No. You're stopping mid-flow? And then take, and then taking a step. If I watch someone swap urinal. I would be very concerned. I would be wanting to get exit that bathroom immediately. What if you went in and you see someone,

he's starting on the left. You know, kind of like someone fills up all the sodas. He just takes a step over. It's more like a dog marking this deer. 100%. 100% just goes. It's like, I like to hit them all.

What if you, what if there's five years? there's only one guy in there and you wait in line directly behind him for that urinal and just say it's your favorite and you're just like I'll wait for you and you let other people go ahead of you yeah I want this one yeah I'm waiting then as he was back and I was good right that was my favorite oh man you don't want to wait for you you don't take that one wait behind me the flush is smooth isn't it you ever have so there's how there's so many urinal So every now and then, you know, you get that, you get the urinal that for some reason.

I don't know how they are built wrong. I know where you're going. I don't know how they're built wrong. The engineering guy, we took a break that day. They messed up and no matter where you pee on this thing, it is a trampoline of urine. I mean, it's just like there's no spot. I've tested everywhere. Yeah, you, the whole pee, you're trying to find the spot.

You're getting littered. Ladies, 100%, this is a thing. There are some urinals that whatever. they, like aerodynamic, whatever, they didn't check it. This thing, your, your legs are covered. You're not leaving without, like, dewy legs. Dude, there's a problem in my life. Uh-oh.

I have a repeating one. There is one that I know. There is a urinal I know of that you have to use all the time. That I have to use all the time. And I know it. And Al, I wonder if this, if you have the same experience, because it's at the theater that my kids go to, that freaking thing is. There's no way.

Is it just me or is it? No, no. No, it's not, but I'm glad to hear you say it. What is that? I've never vocalized that. Your legs are covered in feet. I've literally thought about wearing pants to the theater because I'm going to have to use it. It's a single urinal.

There's not like, I don't get to go to the one of the right. What about using the stall? Yeah, I probably should. But when there's a urinal, it's so easy to pee all over yourself. I mean, the idea. When you got the chance, you got to take it. It's good to know, because you wear shorts for mostly anything on earth. Yes.

But the idea of having to put on a pair of protective pants to guard your pee littered legs. You know how they've got the paper that covers the seat? They need like little paper to cover your legs when you go to the urinal. Put on like a urinal apron? Yeah, throw away your urinal apron. There's no elegant way to wash your legs off in a bathroom with other people in it. If you ever go into a bathroom and you see a guy with a paper towel, we all know what happened. We know what happened.

You got to try to do it. not spill something outside the bathroom and come in here to clean his legs off. No, he found the wrong urinal. He spilled inside the bathroom. The nice thing about this one at the theater that I constantly peel over myself, it's a single use bathroom. So I do wash my legs every time.

Oh, because there's no one that can come in there with you. I use that bathroom once. I don't remember what happened. You were wearing pants then. That's what happened because you'd know, man. It is the worst urinal on the planet. I hope the urinal manufacturers, there's like a rule where they send one out of

100 out the factory door with different angles. I don't know what they do. Do they scuff up the porcelain to go ship it? That would be such a good hidden camera gag to put a really bad one in there. There is no way not to just return to cinder. Oh, man, it's awful. All right.

All right. We are going to take a break and dry our legs and we'll be back with Man of the People. man of the people all right al it's time for another fun time we play man of the people every once in a while three points for the first answer two for the second one for the for any other correct answer but explain the game to us i think you nailed it uh we surveyed a hundred people uh top six answers are on the board uh three points for the first answer two for the second one point for any other correct answer we play seven rounds and the last round is worth double the points.

All right. Let's do it. Everybody hand on the table. We have buzzers on our desk if you're listening from home. And so there's accountability. We got Papa Josh in here and the Falcon as well. So go go ahead and read that first one. All right. Here we go. Name and occupation in which one spends the day cutting something. Oh, man. I'm up. I've got it. It's a seamstress, but that's going to be low on the list. That is the number four answer. Yeah.

I'm between two. I'm going to go with Butcher. That is the number two answer. Oh, man. I don't have an answer. Oh, you're going there too? Someone who cuts something? Yep.

Five, four, three. A paper cutter man. Hey, can I try to guess the number one? Mike just nailed it with paper cutter. Oh, that's not on the board. I'm sorry. Is it surgeon? It is not.

That is not on the board either. We have barber. Oh, yeah. Whiff. Butcher. Okay. Oh, you guess that. Gardner.

Taylor slash seamstress, lumberjack and carpenter. Lumberjack? I mean, that is it. No, it's correct, but when's the last time he even thought about a lumberjack? You know what? You don't have to think about it because the lumber jacks are out there. Take care of it for you.

Hey, lumber jacks out there. You're doing good work. All right. Andy with two, Mike with zero, Jason with one. was a fun game guys i won time to end it next round on to round two uh name someone real or fiction who is known for having a white beard uh gandolph the white okay uh merlin slash wizard is on the board that's uh number five that's number one okay oh thank goodness santa claus santa claus is the number one answer oh man uh god

God is not on the board. Really? Is there any Greek gods on the board? No, Moses is on the board. That was the number two answer. Moses had a white beard? Whenever I think of the big white beard, Santa Claus, it's either you either have father time or whenever they show God, he has a big white beard.

All right. What are the other answers? So we got Santa Claus, Moses, Uncle Sam, Kenny Rogers, Merlin slash wizard, or Colonel Sanders. Gandalf did come to mine first. And neither of mine were there. I was glad you beat me because then I realized, of course, Santa Claus is going to win that. Uncle Sam? Yeah, Uncle Sam.

Oh, he does. That's Grandpa Sam. All right. So we got Andy in the lead with five. Jason in second with two. And Mike with nothing. All righty. This game sucks.

Round three. Name something babies and puppies have in common. Mike. Five. go to the four they grow teeth i don't know i suddenly didn't understand the question they do grow teeth but it's not on the board slobber drooling is the number two answer all right i'm happy okay uh i'm gonna say uh they you've got to clean their poop that's not on the board it's a great answer it's a good

answer i was i was trying to think i had to read twice to make sure it wasn't there uh the number one answers, they're cute. I was gonna go happy. Drueling was two. They desire attention. It's number three. Very self. Playful. They sleep a lot and they cry. If I said, grow teeth was number six though, right? Well, I was thinking about teething. If I said that they were happy, because I almost went with that, like, they're happy. Would you have given me either of the other, like, what was the, they're cute and they're- I would have probably given you playful. It seems like the closest one there. That's fair. Okay. I went, that's, that was my guess. really i mean you got to potty train both these things it's a good answer but it's not what the

people said we got andy with seven mike still batting zero and jes but you did click first two i did all right all right round four name an animal that travels in groups uh i get the record for most number one hits and fish that is the number three answers oh my gosh why can't get the number one answer. I'm going to go with wolves. That is the number two answer. Oh, it's a wolf pack. Number one answer still on the board.

Andy, five, four, three. I'll say birds, ducks. Birds is the number one answer. Oh, man. I can't wait for somebody to double, double point round and beat you at the end. Yeah, me neither. Me neither.

That's why I hate this game because that's happened more than once. Andy is. It's going to be tough. He has 10 points. Jason is in second with three points. and Mike is now on the board with two points. Nice, Mike. Nice. And this question...

You said fish and you said wolves. Ooh, nice. Oh, yeah, I'll read the answers. We got birds, wolves. It was coolest animals that travel. I thought it might be lions. Fish. Lions was number four, elephants and deer.

Hmm. This one feels like an Andy question if there ever was one. Name something everyone wants or everyone knows about the dog lassie. I got first again for the record. uh timmy fell down and well we'll give you that his owner is timmy okay yeah that is the number five answer i am great at not getting the number one answer

it's a collie it's a border collie collie is the number one answer you're doing right it is i didn't know what kind of dog you don't know what lassie is all right so this is what reworded again name something everyone knows about the dog lassie uh that he helps people he rescues people is the number two answer that's what timmy fell down and well that's rescuing timmy well you got credit for it yeah i got credit like number five that's hey that's brutal i would have given you number two both i should have got two and five i would have you the number

two you gave me something people know about timmy it's funny because you click in first but you don't have good answers yeah that's right all right uh Andy with 12 Mike with five oh Mike moved into second place Jason with four all right we are on round six name something parents want to capture their baby doing for the first time. Oh, come on. Oh, man. Walking. That is the number one answer.

Yeah, of course it is. Dang it! I'm going to say eating. Oh, what an idiot. That is the number three answer. Yeah, the number two answer. I get it. It's talking.

First words. That is the number two answer. Yeah, of course. Well, no, I mean, like, it was very clear. I knew right off the back. There was a big pause back there for talking. I'm like, I'm sorry. I lost my spot first.

Okay. I was like talking insinuates the first time. Yeah. Yeah, that sucks because I've been crushing this buzz in first thing. Yeah. And that one, when you said it, I knew right away that number one was walking for sure. And then number two was first words. I didn't. Oh, it's like you didn't get your buzzer in, but then you did have the right answer. Right. All right. Final round. Final round. It is worth double. So Mike is still in play here. Jason is. Actually, no, Jason could. No, he can't. He's out. He cannot.

He can't give. Don't even bother. We got Andy at 13, Mike at 8, Jason at 6. Last round, name a food that you might find raisins in. Oh, I buzzed in first again. Steak. I'm going to go raisin bread or bread. Bread is the number five answer.

Oh, man, I'm so good at this. Cookies. Cookies is the number two answer. Oh, dang it. You're safe, Andy. And I will go with bagels. bagels was the number six answer uh number one answer raising brand cereal was cereal

yeah oatmeal at three salad at four where was steak uh that was not on the board man i barely hung on there boys oh i was sweating and he is this week's man of the people oh the pressure of the final round is is severe this was this is a lesson for everyone never give up no you were over three rounds i had zero points And then Jason's the big loser. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Big break. Coming back with a draft. The Spitballers draft. I did say big break. Like we had 20 minutes of commercials or something. We'll see you after the. intermission. I don't know why. Like a big fun break.

We're going to take a massive break here. If you don't insert 30, 40 minutes of commercials right now, some trailers, I'll be disappointed. All right, we are drafting the best things that come in pairs.

Mike has the first pick in today's spitballers draft. What are you going with. What a great day to have the first pick guys. Yeah, for you, I know. No, it really is. I mean, yeah, I guess I do have my one. It is sneakers. Yeah, for sure.

That would have been. Get a hot pair of shoes. That would have been all. That's a legit one-on-one, right? That would have been your first pick? I would have picked it for the sake of winning the poll. Yes. Oh, I pick it because it's the best.

Well, but this, I just want you to know by picking that, you now have to have two identical sneakers. And I know you wear a lot of shoes. They don't have to be identical. Nope, they come. Yeah, you're right. They don't. They just come in pairs. Yeah.

It's the left and a right. All right. It's a good pick. Mine is the, I knew I was going to take this one because I know I was second. Mike's number one. This is, this really should be my number one because I have them. But it is your number one. Well, yeah, but I would rather have a nice pair of shoes.

Okay. Than this. But I will draft twins because I have twins. Fair enough. Fair enough. They always come and pierce. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, I can't really poke a hole in that.

All right, so I've got to pick, I've got to pick two twos, right? I've got to pick two things that come in pairs. I'm going to go with wings. Oh, man, that was my next pick. Yeah, that's a good one. You don't want one wing. You do not want one wing, man. It don't work on your plane.

Oh, man. I'm going to take wings with the first pick. I'm glad that you're disappointed. It's the only way to fly. And then I'm, look, we all got them. We use them to see the world. I'm taking eyes. Yeah, eyes are taking eyes.

They can be beautiful and they're very helpful. And you don't want just one. No. Then you've got no depth. So in that logic of eyes, they can be beautiful. Can eyes be ugly? I think eyes can be neutral. Like you're just used to seeing.

They're either just. They could be bloodshot. Sure, but like just as far as. There's like, people have eyes that are beautiful. You go, wow. Yeah. Their eyes are incredible. Like, they're so different.

They're so blue or they're so green. You know that you can just go and pay to have that done now? I have, I've heard that. What? They can just change your eye to any color you want with a simple injection. A simple? Any color? I can have red.

I can just be like, check this out. I got red eyes now. You could. I'm the terminator. Yeah, they do a pigment injection into your eye. there's certain doctors that will do that. What? And you can go and like they, they don't even, it's not like just pick.

They don't just pick like green or blue. They'll give you like five shades of blue you want or five shades of green you want. Wow. Like you can pick to the like. And it doesn't matter what you start with like someone with dark D. It's like when you're dying your hair, you've got to bleach it first. Right. Not from what this site said.

No base coat, huh? Wow. I had no idea that it even exists. It's somehow I stumbled on it and I was like, and they have all these before and afters. People going from brown eyes to. bright blue eyes. Wow. It says it can be done by adding or extracting pigments.

So I guess that's how you would get from dark to light. Don't you suck my pigment out with the syringe? I've seen them do the. What if they had to have a donor? Like they have to take it from one guy's and he's just to get the black eyes. The donors all have black eyes. I've seen the, have you guys seen where they tattoo the whites?

What? Yeah. No I haven't seen that. Yeah, they'll tattoo them like black. Yeah. So your entire eye looks black. It's wild. All right.

All right. Moving on. I got drafted eyes. Yeah, you got yours. Jason? Oh, it's back to me. All right. So shoes, twins are gone, eyes are gone, and wings are gone.

I've talked about this a lot. I love these. I, if, if I, I mean, they're just a normal, regular thing. It was going to be my next picture. They're more important to me. Yeah. And if I could wear a new pair every single day of my life. Oh.

I would. So I'm taking socks He's taking socks I was kind of hoping I would get socks And shoes Are those the best things That come in pairs To me

So you guys socks Wearers like around the house Yeah I You're not a barefoot boy Most of the time I mean Because I start in shoes and socks

For the day I'll come home Take my shoes off And then I guess I'm in socks A lot I'm usually socks Not shocks They work as shocks

To some degree Sure I'm not a big I don't like the socks Oh well P.U. to that. I hope when I would get socks and shoes. So I get two picks here.

I'm going to start with I'm going to go speakers. Stereo. Because I love my audio. I love the music. And I want to make sure that I get the stereo spectrum in here. I need the left and the right. Don't give me the fake stuff. Give me the real left and right speakers.

Now they don't only come in pairs. No, you can get more. That's true. That's why I said stereo. You got the left and the right. That's exactly correct. And then this now, now, what does this draft even do now? Oh, it's getting good now.

This is the good part of the draft. So now I, look, I've been trying to get back at it, trying to get back at the fitness. So I'm going to take dumbbells. Ooh, I like that. So I can work out both arms. That's, yeah, I mean, it's better to have both. Um, all right. Because what would you do with one?

You'd have to take turns. You can do it, but now your workout is doubled. Now, I will say this. When I use not effective, my dumbbells at home, I do usually do one arm at a time. Yeah. What's funny is, I do use separate dumbbells though. You do? Yeah, like I'm set one down, pick it up, do a curl, put it back down.

The bow flex where it's like, there's two, you know, there's just two. They come in a pair. And then I'll take the right one up and work out my right arm. And then I put it back and it's standing. Oh, you don't left. You don't hold them both at the same time? Uh-uh. Or you don't hand it to the other hand.

No, I don't do that either. No. Because you like the sound of mix when it comes out a little. I bought to amused two. I see. All right. Jason. So you put it back.

Yeah. Well, I just to get the other one? Well, it's me putting it down. He's got to get his left. You can put it down into your other hand. He's got to get his left hand at dumbbell. Right. Yeah.

That was my right hand in dumbbell. All right. Okay. Uh, Jason, you have twins and socks. All right. I like, I like Mike's, uh, stereo because music is important, audio is important. I've started working out as well.

And what I like, which is far better than speakers. It's, I didn't want to double up. Yeah. It's AirPods. Yeah. I want to take my speakers with me. I'm very sad. That was going to be the night. I didn't know if it was going to be allowed because I didn't know if speakers in air, AirPods would count as a same. Yeah. So I'm, I'm taking my speakers inside my head wherever I go. Well, it's a great pick. And it really knocks me down to a different tier of selections. Nice. Which obviously I've got wings. I've got eyes. What goes

better with those two things? Nunchucks. Oh, yeah. I'm taking nunchucks? Yeah. You don't buy, you don't go to the nonchuck. You don't. No. No, they don't go to the karate store and they're like, would you like to buy one nunchuk? No, they're like, you got to buy it in a pair. Yeah, when you say the word nonchuk,

it sounds like you're throwing a lady from the Catholic church. Yes. It sounds like you're throwing a lady from the Catholic church. Yes. It sounds like, like you're saying bicep like that's not right it's not the word all right and then I've got to make one more selection

I'm going to go a little I mean there's a lot of options but I'm going to go with chopsticks oh that was my next pin boom you can't pick it now I'm going to go with chopsticks I mean they always come in pairs it's the most like you literally

couldn't just buy one chop stick it would not it would be a spear next to wings it is the most important thing to be in a pair. Like, I've lost an AirPod before. I could still work. It still works. You know what I mean?

Right. Somehow I thought you meant chicken wings. I forgot that I drafted wings. Yes. And I was like, wait, chicken wings always coming. Airplane wings, you need two. Yeah. You got to have two unless you're just stabbing.

You can stab with one, but that's not. That's a stab stick. No. It's a skewer. Skewer. Thank you. There we go. All right.

Things that come in singles. Well, I'm going to take some. something that comes in singles and packages, and it's always a pair. It's underwear, baby. I mean, can you get not a pair of underwear? It's called, no, man. That's tough. I get that.

That's a bit of a loophole because I thought you meant they came in a package together, but they don't. They, you buy packages. No, no, but it's like pants. You say I'm putting on a pair of pants. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a terrible pair of underwear.

It is skirting through the language. Okay, the judge, because. I'm fine either way. It says it comes in pairs, not is called a pair. So I think it's out. That's, it's not up to you, Judge. I think it's a terrible pick. I'll allow it if you want to keep it.

But I'm also going to give you a chance to. Oh, that's even worse. He wanted. How is great. He wanted you to either shut it down or say it was great. And you took a left turn. All right. Well, then I'm going to go with something that used to be a constant gift for my aunt.

Wherever you traveled, you'd get these in sets, salt and pepper shakers. Okay. All right. Okay. Maybe you should have stuck with underpaints. Okay. Because, um, me, they're different. Yeah, well, they don't have to be the same, but they always come in a set.

They do come in. You don't get a salt shaker. It's, it's, it's, yeah, whatever, man. I don't care. We got to move on. We got to move on. We got a show to finish. Great pick for the best set draft.

sneakers speakers dumbbells mic finish us off come on guys it's stilts obviously oh man that's a funny one you're over here saying the most important thing to come in a pair i'm like no my friend you ever tried to stilt it's not going to work what's the olympic sport where you run pole vaulting yeah that's what they'd be good for so uh jason with twins socks air pods and salt and pepper shakers i got wings eyes and unshucks and chopsticks. And Mike got stilts, Dunbells, speakers, and sneakers. I had a lot of honorable mentions.

Dunbills? What did I say? Dunbells. Spell that. No, no, no. I know. What you're saying? D-U-M-B.

Okay. All right. But how are you saying it? I said Dunbell. Yeah. Like D-O-M-E. No, like D-U-N. Okay.

Well, sure. Yeah, not like D-O-N-E. Thank you for correcting me. I'm saying done and not done. Look, for a decent part of my life, I thought they were dunbels. Yeah, that happens. I legit thought it was. So this is worse.

For a part of my life, I legit thought they were dung bells. That's real. Okay. So we're not judging here? No, we're not judging here. I just thought they were dung bells. And I didn't think that it meant like it was poop. I just thought like, oh, the name of it.

The name of it is dung bells. Because when people say dumbbells, it sounds like dung bells. Or in my case, dunbells. Honorable mentions from my list, ears, skis, slippers. I think cherries only come in parries, right? No, you can get a cherry. Cairs and pears? No.

Okay. Lungs. Yeah. Okay. Can't live with one. Antlers. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah.

Skates. Yeah, got to have two of those. And then slippers, but I don't want to be so old man. Yeah. Do you have any others? Not much. obviously binoculars

is that even no that's not a monocular but a monocular monocular a monocular what is that called a telescope they should call that a monocular why is it not a monocular

I mean it's a binocular because there's two so if you got one it should be a monocular why should just be a nocular in that case if it's binocular Oh man Okay

Telescope fine Yeah Animals on Noah's ark That was the last thing on my list Just things that come of pairs That's funny I had oars Okay

I wasn't sure if they came in twos But it'll be sad to get one And so walkie talkies That's actually a really good one Those absolutely always come in at least Per super sad To get one of those That's like speakers.

Here's your walkie-talkie. Have fun. Hello, 10-4. What did we learn today? Oh, man. Look, I learned that I'm not alone in mispronouncing dumbbells that somebody else thought something different. I learned today that I am not alone in that the urinal at my children's theater is a monstrosity of a splash zone. No, no.

I've learned I might be brushing my teeth too hard. Yeah, I think that might be. By the way, they are called monoculars. Oh, baby! That's what everybody learned. They're monoculars. Like a short telescope is a monocular. Well, there you go.

Hey, thanks for listening to the show. See you next time. Goodbye. Just buy two of those. Thanks for listening to the Spinballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com. Thank you.