Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Venmo Voyeurism & Best Things That Spin - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: August 24, 2026

It’s another raucous episode of the Spitballers Podcast. Some truly tough Would You Rathers kick off the show before the guys test their knowledge in We Know History. We wrap things up with a Best Things That Spin draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Rubby, robberty sitting in my tubbly, boop. All right. Okay, we're back. Thank good. Palate cleansed. Boop.

Boop Oh, yeah, Al Borland already has the receipts, Jason. I don't know where you're talking about. Last week or last, last new episode. Nobody cares. I mean, he did such a great scat. You remember that? I don't remember that.

The people did not love it. It did break the record for most words in one scat. Yeah, yeah, because usually there are none. That's more scatty. tried real hard. We have a new episode today. Would you rather? We know history and we're drafting things that spin.

Because that's what we do. Wait, wait, that was the phrasing? Yeah. Things that spin. And there's more than I thought there were. There's a, there's, no, is it things you spin? It's just things that spin. Okay.

What are you already trying to angle for, Jason? I want clarity. What are you angling for? I just want clarity. Oh, we'll get it. We'll get it later. Hey, I appreciate that, Jason. I want to know what the rules are.

I've got questions. That's the new segment. Just saying, just saying, earlier 1040 a.m. this morning, what we decided on was best things to spin. That's where I was confused because I remember. Not best things that spin. Don't get on me. I'm reading what's in the show dot. Things that spin.

Also, the list I had put in there that you chose from said best things that spin. Yeah, but that topic suck. Yeah. So I said, best. best things that spin. Wait, you said the exact thing. Yeah, you did. You said what was in the list.

Yeah, you just put the word best in front of it. Yeah, it's different. So it's best things to spin instead of best things. No, whatever. Wait, what exactly did I say? All things that that spin, to spin, that spin are eligible. I mean, it's fine.

I said best things to spin. So you didn't say that just now, though. Correct. Just now you repeated what you said was bad. I wasn't listening. I figured you guys could get it right because it's right here. I wasn't listening. I was talking.

It's right here in the show. It's hard to listen and talk at the same time, Jason. You know that. Would you rather? Would you rather be able to detect lies with 100% success? Oh, brother. Or tell lies with a 90% success rate. Okay.

You know what's a lie saying the draft is things that spin? Well, technically, what happened is Al had a list that said things that spin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you said, best things to spin is my vote, which means you misquoted his actual idea. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. I mean, no, no, no, no. Your vote has, your vote is something that existed on the ballot. He wasn't voting on a poll. He was voting on the ballot. He was making a suggestion. No, he doesn't have a ballot. He has suggestions. And I was like, this is a pretty good one. But what if it was the best things to spin? got it what about the lie thing uh so here's the thing with the lie thing there is a real like being able to detect lies with 100% accuracy sounds really cool you can but there's

there are consequences yeah consequences to that there are plenty of lies told to our face for our good yeah and then if you knew yeah you go oh yeah exactly be like, oh, you look good in that. Oh, no, I don't. Okay. How do you detect it? Is it an alarm? It's just, you know, man. You just, you ever seen Spider-Man? You get like a

the hair on your arms goes, and you just know? Yeah. What percentage of lies do you think you get away with right now? I mean, I don't, because it's not zero. Well, I think it's hard because it's like, I don't try to

lie. You don't, wait, you don't tell lies. You don't ever tell a lot. You don't talk to your kids and say something. Well, yeah, I tell my kids they're good at stuff all the time. Right, but like, they're not. I don't know, like, I feel like a lie is like an intentional effort to deceive. Correct.

So like Mike said, he tells his kids that they're good at things all the time. Yeah, but Mike's not like premeditating that lie. He's just like responding to those kids. Oh, I guess it's off the cuff. Yeah, it doesn't have to be premeditated. This isn't premeditated lies. Just a lie is a lie. You know what that is, right?

The lie? A lie? Yeah. Okay. So, like, if you tell a lie. But I mean, people sub-define it. People say a white lie. The majority of my lies are to, like, end a conversation.

I think all lies. Is it a lie to omit truth? Like, if somebody said, no. That's a good. No, no, no. Does this look good on me? And you say, I like that color. No, that's not a lie.

No, you didn't lie. Unless you don't like that color. Yeah, then it would be a lie. Like, to me, a lie is when, like, the teacher was like, did you spit that spitwad and then you know you did and then you say no i didn't so you're saying a complete intentional yes however i think for purposes of this question purposes it's really important to understand all lies are lies white lies all lies or lies kind lies like you know yeah you look good that's a lie that's absolutely lie i mean unless they look good but all lies or lies whether it's

premeditated whether it's premeditated whether it's premeditated whether it's really hurtful whether it's kind, it doesn't matter. If you're telling a falsehood, it's a lie. And so I think if I was able to detect everybody else's lies at 100% rate, I would be sad.

I would regret having that superpower. I'd rather have that one than be tempted to tell lies. So you're definitely my choice. Your percentage was that if you're like, I know if I lie right now, I'm spinning a wheel of random chance and probability

nine out of ten times I'm getting away with this lie. You're saying you would lie more. I'm saying that I if... Because that's an indictment of your character I'm saying that if you... Okay, so you're going to choose the power that you don't use versus the power that might benefit you? I already use.

I tell lies. I'm not... I don't know the last time I told the truth about anything. Listen, I don't know what you're trying to... I'm at 100% hit right, guys. I don't know what you're trying to grill me on, but I don't want to be tempted to tell more lies. I'd rather know the truth. Yeah, you're tempted. I'm my amount of lying doesn't go up

if I know a hit rate's good. But I just know that my... That's a lie. I got you. Oh, I believed it. I'm in the 90%. You got me good. So you took that side. You took the 90%. Good job. I'm going to follow suit. I'm taking the 90%. Yeah. I don't want to know everybody's lies. No, no. I don't want lie to me. Lie to me. No. Ignorance's bliss is a funny like... I'll say this. That's a really good point.

that you just made. See, Jason, you made a great point. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Would you rather win $1.5 million? There's a 10% chance. Privately. No one knows unless you tell them. How much? 1.5. Or 2.5 million's, but it is on the new. It's on the news. It's on the news. Yeah, and you must post about it on social. It's on the new. I tried to get you back here, Jeremy. I tried to just, I saw what it was supposed to be, but the doc says, but it's on the new. It's on the new, man.

Dude, this money's on the new, yo. On the news. 2.5 million, but it's on the news. You have to post about it on all your socials and all of your extended family is notified by certified mail. Give me the one five. Now, let's talk through this real quick. I mean, I guess you could just give.

If you gave everybody $10,000 and said, hey, I won, you're not going to get, that's not going to equate to a million dollars. The gap here between one and a half private or two and a half. One and a half, please. Oh, my gosh. Really? Oh, my gosh. You just don't want it.

Get a backbone. Get a backbone. Mike would just say no to everyone. Oh, brother. Mike would even answer the calls. No, I, no, I would. No, you wouldn't. Yes, I would.

Not only would I say no. I would feel so good. Apparently, both of you would answer the phone and be like, no, I didn't win that. That's what you'd both say. Well, 90% of you old leave us. Maybe it makes it go away. But, oh, man. Mike, Mike, you're talking a big bad game.

Yeah. But it ain't the truth. I don't think it's the truth. No, because, I mean, I already know it ain't the truth. I already know it ain't the truth. That's, eh. Then you don't know. You don't know what's going on.

The answer is give me the 2.5. Extended family? Oh, man. I've never had an easier know in my life. I will say that extended family is pretty. easy. Like, like legit. My parents come to me. My sister comes to me. That's tough. That's a, that's a tough one. Extended. What do you count? I thought that this was all your family. No, extended is like not your nuclear family. Yeah. Thank you, Jason. Yeah. So are your cousin. Your second cousin. It's still nuclear when your father doesn't live with you and your mother doesn't live with you? Yeah. I think so. I thought nuclear was like in the same place. No. I would say Mike's parents are in his nuclear family, but his parents in law would not be. Boo-ya! Correct. Yeah. Guess who's getting a big no? The in-laws. Everybody. So even dad and sister? Oh, no.

Sister, oh, man, let's work through this. Mike is on one today to a degree that I cannot comprehend. Okay. Sister and dad come. Okay. And you can only... I need the situation. Okay. They're both desperate for $10,000. Oh, that's easy. Okay, they're both desperate for $500,000. dollars and you decide I'm only giving it to one of them. Oh. Yeah. I mean, it sounds based on what he said, it's his dad by a lot.

Yeah, that's dad. That one's easy. He just made that very clear when you went, dad, yeah, sister. I love my sister very much, but she didn't pay for nothing while I was growing up. That's fair. Okay. Dad wants $500,000. Okay.

Sister wants $75,000. You can only do one. Oh, he'll take the lower money. That's a quag. Yeah, because you get to keep $425,000. dollars if you give it to your sister. This question is turned into which family members does Mike like more? Yes, it's the best question ever.

No, I mean, no, my sister knows. I like my dad more. Yes. Well, you tell me you don't like your dad more than your siblings? I don't think of it that way. Oh, man. But I guess I'm lying. Okay, when the money's coming up, you do.

Oh, man. There is an order. Yeah, I think you're right. Just like everyone's like, I don't have a favorite child. That means liking him more. You don't have a favorite child? Yeah. You liars.

Which is yours again? I can't say it publicly. What if it was on the news? But they know who they knew. What if it was on the new? I would give money to my parents more than my siblings. See? It's so easy.

So it isn't about who you like more. It's more just about who do I owe. Yeah, sort of. Getting back to you. Or who's like, oh, 2.5 extended family. Oh, it's going to feel so good. I'm going to take the 2.5 because genuinely even if I, if I took 500, hundred thousand dollars

family listens to this podcast if I my dad listens to this podcast oh yeah that's that's the right answer it's of course my father if I took 500,000 and I gave it to everyone who you know

matters what was that it was some sort of that was my winking oh back in low fire yeah that's the throwback to the yeah where's my guns

hit it again where's my guns There we go Hit the other one You got a wink, Mike See, we nailed it Come to the front desk of the hotel My point is

Dumble Drimble Two and a half million You give away 500,000 To everybody that matters And you say, I will never give money again You end up with 500,000 more Than taking one and a half

You've got to take the two and a half million here Even if it goes on the new Where's your line? What if it's two million? Then I just lower how much I give away I'm going to take the more. 1.6 to 1.5. Oh, I'm taking 1.5.

All right, so there's a line. Would you rather always have an item missing from your drive through order? That's the worst. You're getting me today. There was no commas. I know. He didn't get you. And isn't drive through T.

Would you rather always have in items? It's T.HRU drive through. It doesn't matter. Would you rather always have an item missing from your drive-through order? Always have your food show up 10 minutes after everyone else is. you go out to eat. I had that happen in a really bad way one time in a huge gathering of people where it was like 15 people eating. The late food? Okay. And mine, they forgot to put it in. So everybody got, it was 14 people with food and mine they never even put the order in.

Everyone ate their entire meal and my food came out right when we're ready to leave. It was and I just got it to go and I left. It was comped, right? It was comped. Okay. So I mean, but I'd rather have had it. No, no, no, I like it, but at least it was, at least it was free. I mean, obviously, when you have an item missing from your drive-through order, there's a chance that it is yours. Yeah. And I would say this, I would say for me personally, the percentage of times I go through a drive-thru and I am alone is very high. So most of these items are going to be mine that I'm missing. So the thought was maybe someone else's item was missing.

Yeah, but then I'm realizing like, I don't know. go through a drive for her family very often. It's really just a shameful self-do. If we had an app that alerted us to how many times that's happened in the last six months, would we, would you be? I'd still go back. No, I wouldn't be proud. But I wouldn't be proud even if it was once. Like, I feel like if we had a social app, for instance, here, here's a good cop. So we've started golfing recently and we use an app to track our scores around the office. And everybody's, signed up for that app. And the thing is, is it's kind of public. And anytime anyone starts

a round of golf in that app, because we're all friends in that app, we get alerted. And it's like, which we were talking about lunch. This is, so I'm, it's a social golfing. You guys are, we're too competitive. The, the golfing, um, has become, I would say borderline, but that would be generous to you guys. Yeah. It is full obsession. Correct. And, and, and, And the fact that you guys are in an app with each other, that always says, oh, this is when I'm golfing. They're golfing. Why didn't I get my invite? I don't.

You're going to see how bad I did. It's like, it's awful. All, you know, like there's social media apps where it's like, hey, we're just going to track where you are. Do you want to tell people where you are? And I'm like, no. No, of course. I wouldn't. And of course, of course you would.

I didn't know what I was signing up for when I signed up. Now I feel like I can get out of it. My point... He does. Otherwise, he's a wuss. But my point is if we were all that way. Like, if our DoorDash orders, if all of our DoorDash was social and it gave a push notification. We would be the health... What is that?

We would be the healthiest people on Earth. I would never DoorDash. Or I would at least DoorDash as a last resort, not like a probably first, second, and third, you know. It's called Food Feed, and it's the new app, and everybody has it, and you see what your friends eat all the time. everywhere. Why in the world when they were building Venmo were they like we should tell everybody

we should tell everybody what you just spent. How much you spent and exactly what you're spending. Why was that ever a feature? So I have mine obviously. They're like oh we need the social we need social we got to go viral. But when I

look what are you talking about? Well you just being a praying mantis what was that? I don't know. When I look through a feed and I just can see all of these things, it's an embarrassment. The feed of Venmo is... I don't understand it. No one should know. There's people that they're still on it.

No. I'm just like, what are you doing? You're like, here's 10 bucks for pizza. Yeah, I don't think they're that embarrassed. We need to have social apps of doing good deeds. It's not public. It's not about it. It's friends.

But it's also mind your business. What happened to that? Yeah. What happened to mind your business? You don't need to know I got dominoes. Yes. You don't need to know I got dominoes. Thank you, Jason.

That's my business. Mind your business. Then don't add him as friends in Venmo. It's in your control. I want to be friends with. But I got to be able to pay people. Yeah. You don't have to pay friends.

You can pay anyone. Well, yeah, but just because I've given you $20 in because I had to pay you back, it doesn't mean that you should know that I, that I was splitting Wendy's with someone. Are you in there looking at everybody's? Yeah. Okay. Oh, man. And the judgment is.

harsh. I'm pulling it up right now. We will. By the way, you're not. Who amongst us is on it? That app does not, I mean, the 18 birdies, the golf app, you can just not show around publicly. This is what I'm saying. Round by round? Yeah, round by round. Oh, I didn't know that. It's very easy. I don't understand you guys. All right. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

What time is it? Game time. I'm remembering that the last time we played this game, I scored zero points. Is that right? Didn't I score zero? Oh, that was guessing. guess, oh, that was guess, good, okay,

so I'm looking at my Vimmo social feed, and, you know, there's not many people that still have this available,

but I do see one of them. Jeremy Grant, um, spill it, paid Caleb Hayes for golf tip. Just to sit,

one tip? One tip? What was the tip? How much is the cost? That was the dude that wipes your clubs down at the end of the round. Oh,

it's a tip. Okay. You should turn. I've got one secret tip. $20. Put your right foot here. But just so you know, Jeremy. $30.

Your feed is public. I know it is. Okay. What? Why? I don't care. I don't care. I mean,

I'd be fine turning it on private too. I just don't. Do you care that? Ooh, I paid my pool guy. Big deal. Who cares? Yeah,

I'm not really buying anything. Who cares? And if I am, what are you buying on Vinmo? This person... It's weird. Let me guess. This person bought cake.

This person bought bread. That's cool. You know, it's not... That bread was me too, wasn't it? No, that's called too much... I didn't... I just scroll for things. You get some bread.

Jeremy... Jeremy. She makes great sourness. Oh, that's great. Oh, that's great. Oh, there's a lot of bread. So I'm telling you what, Jeremy. Bread.

We don't need this access. Now I know more about my friend Jeremy that he loves bread. No. We don't need this amount of access. to people. What are we doing? Mike is outrageous. All right, we're playing. We're moving on. I haven't really looked. This one just has a water

emoji. Okay. Okay. A sweat emoji? Yes, sweat emoji. Who's that from? I'm not going to say. For how much? It better not. It better be under $100. Stop. Stop. Stop. It doesn't say the amount. It doesn't say the amount. We got a game to play. All right. Now, let me

We're playing a game right now. This is fascinating. This show is final episode today. Let me just make a recommendation. Everyone go to Vimmo.com, log in and look at your feet. It's unbelievably fun. Go private. People don't need access to this information.

Someone paid $20 for a boat. I hope that was a workout. Round one of We Know History. I know history. I believe I've won this every time. We've played it twice and you didn't win both times. All right, here we go. I'm going to read four events in history.

It's our job to put them in order. And here we go. The Berlin Wall falling. The Berlin Wall falling. Mr. Gorbachev. Number two, the Chernobyl disaster. Okay. Oh, I'm already.

I'm already out. Chernobyl? Yeah. Do you know what it was? Yeah. Okay. But then why are you? I just don't know when it was.

This isn't know what it is. Jason, we do because we know. I know history. Elvis. dies. Oh, and number four, the eruption

of Mount St. Helens. Dang it. I was really hoping it was Vesuvius. That one would have been first. I actually know

when Mount St. Helens happened. When is it? I'm not going to tell you. What year? I'm not going to tell you. The only reason I know is because my mom was in an aeroplane

while pregnant with, I'll give you a clue. Okay, well, that's helpful. While pregnant with my sister and saw it. Okay. Well, that's great information. That already fits the date I wrote down for it. Okay. The problem is, is that three of these four are, I think, very close together.

The problem is three of the four, I have no idea when they happened. I've got my order. Okay, hold on. It goes oldest to newest, right? Correct. Okay. oldest to newest. Okay, I've got my order. It's wrong.

You guys have an order? Well, yeah, you have to. Yeah, that's part of the game is you have to come up with an order. I've got, I've got mine. Let me know when you're good, Mike, and then I'll read it. We'll take turns. You go first. No, why don't you just tell me what your answers are?

Again, three of these are really close together. Okay. One payment is for Suncruiser. the next payment is for my next sun cruiser and the next payment is and the sun cruiser after that this is awesome stuff guys you got to go and just look at these feeds this is what i'm saying why is this public thank you it's fascinating it is no this no i don't care about history all right mike let me know in years is in order the berlin wall falling chernoble elvis passing away and mount st helens it's so you just got all you got to do mike is put them in order i mean i'm putting them down i mean

We got five rounds. All right. I've got my order. This one just feels so tight. All right. Yeah, it is very tight. All right. Go ahead, Jay.

You want me to go first? No, I'll go first. I feel stupid because I'm putting Chernobyl first. Okay. Berlin Wall, Elvis, and then the eruption. I think Elvis was the earliest one and then Mount St. Helens and then Chernobyl and then the Berlin Wall.

Are you tracking all this year? Super different. Yeah. Okay. I went. St. Helens. Oh, gosh. Berlin Wall, Chernobyl, Presley.

You think Elvis died the most recent? I have no idea. Elvis didn't die in our lifetime, did he? No. No. It wasn't? No. I didn't think so. But you're done.

So it's time to get the real answer. Maybe I'm wrong. Oh, it might have been like the 70s. Okay. I don't know, man. I thought three of these events, let me just say this beforehand. I thought three events were in the 80s. And that would be Mount St. Helens, Chernobyl, and Reven.

And Elvis was a 70s? And Elvis was a 70s? Yeah, well, that is correct. Yeah. But I got the order wrong. You did not? You got all for it. Oh.

Hey! I know history! He knows history! Okay, wait, wait, so what was the order? It was Elvis, Mount St. Helens, Bro, let me... Chernobyl, Berlin Wall. So I got zero.

Let me guess the year. You and Mike both got zero. Can I guess the years? You sure can't? 1970 for Elvis. Wrong. No, I just tell me the right answer afterwards. 1917.

Okay. Mount St. Helens, I guess, 82. That's 80. 80. Okay. 86 for. Berlin? Correct. Okay. And then Chernobyl, I guess... Oh, wait, wait. Did you go Berlin third? No. Yeah. Yeah, he did. Yeah, I did. Oh, I'm sorry. I heard you. And then I did Chernobyl 88.

Okay. You got two. Uh, if I didn't talk, I just got four points. Correct. If I didn't talk, I had four points. This is the story of Andy Holloway's life. It's, talk less, smile more. I apologize. It was Elvis in 77, Mount St. Helens in 80, Chernobyl in 86, Berlin Wall in 89. I just, I had no. I idea when Elvis was. Did you guys get points too? No. They got zero. We got zero. All right. I'm still ahead. But you only got two. So we're all right. We're back in the game, Jay. That's my fault. False hope. It's better to get right. Two and three was one? Two was Mount St. Helens. Three was Chernobyl.

Okay. Yeah, I got zero. Round two. We know history. You ready? These are invention. Okay. Now we're talking. The first Amazon Kindle is released. Okay. So the Kindle. All right. The first iPad is released. Okay. the first Roomba is released and the first TiVo is released. I've got, I've got my order.

I'm locked. I'm feeling good about this one. I've got my, I feel way better about this. Way better about this. That does not mean the results will be better. I'm going to get zero points again, but I feel real good. I feel better about my zero. Feel better about it.

I've got my order. So we can go when you're ready. All right. Who's starting time? I will go first since I went last. for the other one. I'm going Tevo, Roomba, Kindle, iPad. I'm going Tevo, iPad, Kindle, Roomba. I'm going Tevo, Kindle.

Oh, boy. iPad. Oh, boy. Roomba. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. But I'm regretting the Roomba, because I think that thing came out way earlier after you said it, but I've got to be honest, I'm not a liar, so I had to read what's on the board. All righty There's a discrepancy in our scorekeeper in what I tallied Great

Well just tell us the order and I'll tell you how many more Mark it out go one by one I'm pretty sure Mike got them all correct You said TiVo Rumba Yeah Kindle yep iPad yep Is that the order?

That is the order You got all four of them correct Imagine And then I believe both Andy and Jason both got two Correct because I got TiVo and Kendall Do I get a bonus for all four? No you don't You get four.

You get them the most points. Honestly, if you read back what you have, you'll probably go down to two points. No, no, we're good now. We're good. All right. So I flashed one to the camera before. That means Mike and I are tied. Oh, my gosh.

No, Mike has four. Jason and Andy are tied with two. No, Andy. You just said I got two. Because he had two the time before. I got two the first time. My scribe is failing me. Get it together, Doozer.

Josh. So we got Andy with five, Mike with four, Jason with two. How did Andy get five? Wait. Because he got three in the first round and two in the second round. You can't get three. You can't get three. Josh, I hate you.

You literally cannot get three ever in a round. You can't get three. It's impossible. If you get three, you have four. You're correct. I mean, so Josh was like interjecting like, no, we got three. It's literally impossible. Oh, my goodness.

I have Andy. I should have four. We have Andy with four. Mike with four. Jason with two. I know history. We don't know math, though. We can't count.

We've done. before. Fine. Papa Josh, you're out. I'm going to go ahead and read those up. It was TiVote, 1999, Roomba, 2002, iPad, or I'm sorry, Kindle, 2007, iPad, 2010. I had the Kindle and iPad and iPad was where I wasn't sure. I knew

once you started with Roomba, I thought, I go, I'm just thinking of modern stuff. They came out that thing early. The first gen. Yeah, the first gen. No one wanted that. I knew right away that was wrong. All right, here we go. This is sports. Josh. This should be three, four is After three. Round three.

Here we go. The MLB strike cancels the World Series. What? Michael Jordan wins his first NBA championship. Are we sure the MLB has, that's not happened more than once? No. Tiger Woods wins his first masters. Oh, my gosh.

We're sports people. I'm not worried about it. Jason, we're real sports people, though. Yeah, because we like football. And the fourth one, the U.S. women win the World Cup on Brandy Chastain's penalty. kick. Is she a shirt, rip girl? I'm already done. Yeah, she is. Well,

I'm, you're already done? Yeah. He's got him right. He's got him right. He's Mr. sports guy. We're the right sports guy, and this is not those. So wait, there's, tell me those one more time. You do know that being a sports guy would be to get the sports question right, idiot. No, no, no, I'm saying that we're real sports. Yeah, real sports people.

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm a I know more than you. You know more about the other sports. You're like to. You're like, you're Like, I threw on, uh, I threw on ESB in the Ocho. And I was watching, uh, MLB. This is baseball and basketball, you knuckleheads and golf. Tiger Woods.

I'm probably going to get them wrong. The MLB strike cancels the world series. Michael Jordan wins his first title. Tiger Woods wins his first masters. And the U.S. women win the World Cup. Okay, hold on. I'm not, I, I know a couple of these, but I'm not a hundred percent. I got my, uh, I've got mine, but I guess I have to read first, right?

I'm very, yeah, sure. I mean, you're very confident. Well, I mean, no, I'm confident I know more than you. It doesn't mean I got this right. Well, what if just... You might get it right. If I get it right and you get it wrong, are you still going to say you know more than me? Are you still going to say you're a better sports fan?

We'll see. I think Jason goes first on this when Mike went for... Yeah, Andy did the first round. Yeah, let's find out what Jason did. I did the first round, but okay, I'll go first again. Okay. I'm starting with Michael Jordan. Yep.

Okay. Then MLV. Yep. Then Tiger Woods. Yeah. Then U.S. women. That's what I did. We got a problem over here. you did not go with that

I went with MLB because I had no idea also you're telling me we had one of our quote unquote major sports canceled the world series yeah that was the year yeah that was the year that they had replacement players and then like Matt Williams was like on

on pace to break the home run record and they just canceled the whole thing they only played like half a season and that's a real sport in the United States no it's not I mean the strikes have happened to all the leagues but yeah has had Jay have any Super Bowl's been canceled? No, not that I'm aware of.

Not that I'm aware of. That's a real sport. So I went baseball, Jordan, soccer, golf. Soccer golf could be right. That's the one I wasn't sure of. Mike got zero. Yeah, that means we got four. And you guys got four.

Oh, yeah, I knew it. I knew it. We were. So we know sports. You're telling me. Jordan definitely was before the, Jordan was like 90. Let me guess the years. Jordan, I'm going to guess 91.

Correct. MLB, I'm guessing 94. Correct. Tirego Woods, I'm guessing, 96? 97. Okay. And the World Cup, 98? 99. That's pretty good, man. So pretty close. That's really good.

I knew I was, I thought I was setting myself up for real embarrassment. Because they canceled just the overall largest sporting event in their sports. I figured that was some time in like the 40s. Right. Like the war was going on. We got time for these other two rounds? We got time. We're only.

You're telling me, you're telling me, Major League Baseball had a year without a world series? Andy's winning eight, Jason in the middle with six, Mike on the bottom. The wild thing is, is it was pretty major news during your lifetime. Yeah, you were 10 years old. You were 10 years old. Oh, I wasn't paying attention to baseball. I guess you're 11.

You don't remember the strike? Like, that was really, like, genuinely, like, I hate baseball, but that was big news. Which batter was trying to break? Ted Williams' 400 record that year. I could care less. It's not, I don't know. I don't care. Who are the good teams that year? I wish I could look over to deusers and get an answer, but I know they won't tell me.

You're telling me. They canceled the World Series? Well, it wasn't just the World Series. It was the second half of the year. It couldn't come to an agreement on time and they had to cancel it. And then they were like, why is our sport dying? So what happened is when that juice up. That's what happened. Yeah. The sport went to strike

and then Sosa and McGuire brought it back. What a dumb sport. Round four. Didn't we get close? I mean, we got close to missing some. We missed quite a bit of training camp a couple years ago. We haven't missed a Super Bowl. No, they got to, they were smarter.

Round four. NATO is founded. Oh, that's. Okay. Come on. Okay. What is it? Global history.

What are you going to be like? D-Day invasion in Normandy. Oh. No, it's going to, don't worry. It's going to get better. Germany invades Poland. beginning World War II. Okay.

Just, I'm going to lay this out for everybody. Oh, man. Oh, man. D-Day. The invasion of Normandy. Or don't. The beginning of World War II. Don't do that.

Number four. Oh my gosh, is D-Day one or two. This is what I said. Just let him figure it out. Germany invading Poland and then the United Nations being founded. First of all, tell me the difference between the United Nations and NATO. Oh, those are different? North Atlantic trade.

Not what it stands for. Well, the, you, I'm not going to tell you then. You told me not to talk. Thank you, Mike. I didn't tell you not to talk. I can tell you not to talk. I didn't tell you not to talk. I said that I didn't say what it stood for.

I meant like what the difference was. I have my list, but it's the funniest thing to me is the D-Day versus the start of World War II. Because, well, yeah. This is either. You heard of here first. Mike thinks D-Day is funny. That's right. You see saving Private Rhyme, the comedy?

Dude, that was so funny. That dude, like, picks up his arm. It's hilarious. I've got it. I've got mine. Okay, hold on. You're almost too busy making jokes. Yeah.

Well, it is. I have no. Once Mike has a list. They're paired. They're paired, but I don't know which pairing goes first. Let's go. Okay. Hold on.

I'm writing. You guys can talk while I'm writing. I, I think. I think I've got three of them in the right order, but one of them that I'm not sure of could screw up the whole thing. Okay, I got mine. All right. So number one, I'm going to go with NATO.

Okay. Number two, I'm going to go Germany invasion. Number three, I'm going to go with D-Day. And four, I'm going to go United Nations. Andy and I are completely locked. So I've got pretty much the same order other than I've got NATO last. So I go the invasion, then D-Day, then the U.N., then NATO. That could be.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You go, say it again? The invasion. Okay. Then D-Day. Okay. Then the United Nations, then NATO. Okay.

And just so you're aware of the difference. NATO is just North America. United Nations is all of us. Everybody. Does it make sense. Everybody. That makes me concern with my order. But how do we do?

All right. The correct answer. Invasion. Yes. D-Day. Yes. United Nations. Oh, baby.

I know history. So Jason got four and Mike and Andy both got zero. The biceps were out on that one too. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That leaves us with Jason with 10. Andy with 8.

Oh, North Atlantic. Thank you, Josh. It's North America. Correct. And Mike has four. So 10, 8.4. All right. 108.4.

Round five. The first safety elevator is demonstrated. I love this game. What is a safety elevator? I don't know what that is either. Safety elevator. I feel like I deserve what is a safety elevator that is a great question is it like a regular elevator like there was a really dangerous first did you mean the first safe elevator

is demonstrated safety elevator like is this in the 1990s and someone farted and said safety yeah that's what it is I believe it's like the first elevator uh like that had a mechanical brake system so it's like our modern elevators but it's common knowledge because before that the elevator just went up and down yeah No brakes. When you went down, you just fell to the bottom. We're on floor one. Please leave.

Number two, the first photograph is taken. This is impossible now with that safety elevator thing. Number three, the light bulb is demonstrated by Edison. Oh, gosh. It does say today that term is completely obsolete because all modern elevators are legally required to incorporate these breaks. Do me a favor. get the date of the first elevator, substitute it in, and we'll put that in order.

No. I believe it's, I believe it is actually the same thing. Okay. So the first elevator. Yeah. Number four of the sewing machine is, is patented. Oh, Paddening.

Getting the patent. Getting the patent was tough. I mean, if you, if you replaced that with the patent office was opened, I'd be like, okay. What? I have no idea. Okay, hold on. We got to have that. So we got, we got.

It's crazy, Jason, because the sewing machine was the first ever patent. It had to be. It was such a good idea. So we've got a photograph, a light bulb, an elevator, and a sewing machine. Patented. We don't know history. Well, you don't. No,

I don't. I only got four points. Oh, man, this is tough. Okay, hold on it. I'm trying to sit here deciding whether or not a photograph can be taken without a light bulb. I have very similar thoughts. Which I think the answer is yes, but I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, my God. gosh. I mean, this is

just, this is not good. Darn it. When was erroneically, I believe this one has the widest, like, span of dates I've got mine. That doesn't help me. That does not, you could tell me these words within one year and I would believe you. I just don't know where to put the sewing machine.

Yeah. Well, because it's not when it was a minute. It was when it was patented. All right. And obviously, the patent. I've got mine. Nobody has. All right. So is it me to, who wait mike oh it's to me okay i don't care go ahead sewing machine is patented uh light bulb then we are gonna go what's your list say photograph and elevator yeah i have i have something very different yeah i do too i've got photograph first light bulb second elevator third and sewing machine patent for i went photograph first sewing two

Light bulb three, elevator four. Oh, man. All right. Nobody got all of them. Okay. Mike got none of them. And the other two each got two. Oh, that's not enough for me to catch it.

So what is the order? The correct order. First photograph is taken. Yeah, I got that one right. In 1826. Didn't need a light bulb, baby. Yeah. The sewing machine was patented in 1846.

The elevator was demonstrated in 1854. So I got that one. So I got the first two. and then the light bulb in 1879. All right. Was that the final round? It was. Jason.

I did okay, though. You finished with, yeah. I've never even finished. Jason with 12, Andy with 10, Mike with four. And again,

I know. Modern history. Mike somehow got, Mike killed tech. I killed sports. Jason killed history. Yeah. In the second round,

Mike got all four. Yeah. In every other round, Mike got zero. Yeah. Wow, you started with four and food. He got the iPad one. I started with zero.

He got the Rumba one. The problem with Thomas Edison is... The problem with Thomas Edison is a great point. Well, I mean, number one, he stole everything. And then number two is, like, in my head, I'm like, he was around the founding fathers, right? Like, Ben Franklin put up electricity and then Edison was like, here's a light pole. I don't know, but I do have an update here.

My feed right now on Venmo, one payment, one point. payment is for the gritty. One is for oysters. As in GRI D-D-D-Y? G-R-I-T-T-Y. Oh, gritty work. Gritty. Oasters, a different one, and toilets. So, you imagine whatever you want to imagine. All right, we got to grab. I'm imagining some things. This is inappropriate. All right, we're back. The Spitballers draft. So people need to know. normally normally when we throw to our breaks

we get to hear the the music interlude the music going out yeah yeah yeah and today it's just been silence and going to black like we're doing a very special edition of an 80s sitcom if you know what I mean

they're just like oh the serious moment yeah where it just goes to commercial and there's no sound that's been us this whole time all right we are drafting things that spin. Is that right? That is. That's what my

list was built on. Best things to spin or things that spin. Either one. Work. Spinning spinning things. Nouns. Spinning nouns. I have the first pick. I'm taking a tornado. Oh, wasn't on my list.

That's a good one. That's a really good one. It's literally called a twister. How is that not on my list? Because we were drafting best things to spin. Oh, that's true. I don't spin a twist. God does it. Hey, hey.

So his favorite thing to spin is a twist. Is that his favorite thing to spin? That's, I mean, I mean. I love spinning these twisters. You know what? Destroying cities. No, they don't always. I love this thing that murders people and towns and destroys economies.

Collateral damage. Ooh. Whoops. I mean, it must be the most fun. Oh, man. Oh, I bet it's. it's great. They get away from him sometimes. I love spinning draodles in a ant hill and just with spikes on it.

Here comes a T5. Oops. That's why. This is why it mattered of the Because genuinely the reason it wasn't on my list is because I did do my list of best things to spin and you don't spin. That's a good pick. We have a show doc that says one thing. That's what I did. Tornado is the pick and this show is just not It's really not viable long term.

Oh, I'm sticking to best things to spend. That's what my list was. I'm, I'm right here with Andy, hot off the heels of tornado. I'm going with a roulette wheel. Oh, yeah. It's basically the same thing. I mean, how much fun is it playing roulette? Not as much as you think.

There's some bad parts of that, which is mostly when you lose all your money, which is, most of the time. Which, you know what? Tornadoes. Oh, that's true. You also lose all of your money. Yeah, that is true. Not if you're insured.

To be fair, the person spinning that wheel is on the team of the people making all the money. Oh, that's true. To spin it, you're having a good time. Yeah, you don't get to spin your own roulette wheel, huh? That would be cool. When you're the house, you do. Jason, things that spin. They should really let a guest spin.

If they wanted to remove all doubt of cheating, they should just. Oh, yeah, let me spin it. Yeah. Like, I'm a lot. When I'm playing crafts, I throw the dice. I'm going to put it on black and I'm going to go, it'll tain me spin. Click.

Yeah, click. Oh, black again. All right. Okay, I'm up. I'm going to go with, look, unless you go. Hurricane. Okay. It's probably coming back to Andy.

I'd take four natural disasters that spin. Whirlpool. Cyclone. Okay. Cyclone. a tornado tornado. Typhoon. Man, that's a power team.

A typhoon does not spin, Mike. It doesn't? Yeah, it does. A typhoon is a hurricane. Wait, are you? But it's on the other side. Isn't a typhoon just called a different name? Yes, it is.

It's in the Pacific. I was thinking of a... We know weather. I was thinking of a tidal wave, which does not spend. Anyways, I'm on the clock. All right. So the first thing, and you want to talk about making money.

All you do is make money unless you hit bankrupt. Unless you hit bankrupt. Unless you hit bankrupt. I'm taking the wheel of Fortune wheel. Okay. Okay. That's fun.

I'm on TV. See, look who's on the same. I'm making money. Except I'm going to make more money than you are. You're going to lose yours. I'm going to make money. Roulette versus wheeled fortune. You get to spin it yourself.

That's one of the places you do get a spin it. Oh, yeah, I get to spend it. Because on, on Price is right, he spins it for you as well. No. You spin your own wheel on prices, right? Oh, that's right. Thanks for taking my next pick. Jason, you should take the prices right wheel.

I'm thinking about it. It's a great wheel. It is a great wheel. It is a great wheel. Better the wheel. But there's something I really want. He just takes four. I'm going to take the price is right.

Wheel, baby! Put me on TV, Mama. I'm taking prices right and wheeled fortune. I'm spinning them wheels. Do you even know when they spin it? I do, yeah. What is the, what is the segment right after they spin the wheel of Jason? I mean, I know, I don't know the name of it, but I know exactly what it is.

Two asses. It's the The The The The Susse Something showdown

It's the Shendon showdown Have you ever watched I played it Mike? You didn't You played nothing I played it on a cruise showdown He played it on a cruise ship

I did The cruise ship Is not going to have The showcase showdown They did And I'm guessing It was a Filipino Bob Barker

It 100% wasn't He was delightful He was so funny All right, I'm back up. I guess. No one has any idea with, so it's just, it's stuff that's spinning. It might be the best.

I'm going to go with a story. Like spinning a tail? Yes. You should have said a tale. A tale, a story, the news, whatever. It don't have to be a web, right? Right. You spin a web?

No, it's, it's old times. me, I'm going to go with a propeller. Oh. That's great. That's great. Back in the day when you had to manually go, you had to push the propeller to get it going. Okay. I think they still got propeller planes they fly now. Yeah, but do you have to manually push? Probably not. Probably not. Oh, because you were going with you have to do it. Yeah. Because it's the best thing to spin. Well, it works for both of us. I'm going to go with a vinyl record. Daggummit. I thought that would get, I was going to. Oh, vinyl record would not make a pass.

I was 100% going to take that and then I, and then you talked me into the price is right wheel. Do you remember when you were a little kid and you're like, one day I'm going to be on podcast. We're going to be drafting things that spin and then I'm going to hit. I'm going to hit tornado vinyl record back to back. Yeah, I remember. And how good that would be?

I had the same thought, man. Vinyl record, baby. Do I even need another pick? I mean, it's also best things to scratch. That's a good one. That's a lot of ticket. That's a different draft, Mike. We're out of control today.

propeller on there. I'm going to go the Earth. Oh! Okay. All right. He's playing a different game. He's playing a different game. What are you, Superman? The Earth spins on its own, Michael, even without Superman. Oh, man. You should take orbit.

Like the solar system. I blame Jeremy for this one. 100% is, well, no. It's Andy's fault. No. No. What does the Doc say? You live by the dock. No, I don't even look at the dock until we go to the show. Absolutely. Andy, you're like, you're like, I don't even look at the questions. This is, until I didn't look until I got it here.

Yeah. This is 100%. So wait, if you didn't look, then it's on Andy. But I already had those things on my list. But because you searched for the wrong list. What was established? I searched for things that spent. Exactly, which was the wrong list. But then Jeremy put that in the dog.

I think we're kind of causing this to not be as fun. All right. Whatever. That's all right. We're all just playing a different game. That's fine. Mike, you're back up. I had Globe on my. list because you can actually spin it. I mean, it's right. You put your finger and go, I'm going to go here. I love that game. I'm going to go pizza dough. Oh, pizza dough. Great pick. Look, do you, have you seen the pro wrestler

that spins the pizza dough and uses it as a weapon? Dude, this is right up your alley. Hold on. Like, WWE or like, no, no, no, no. It's not. It's not. It's not a small scale, regional. Uh, and it's hardcore. There's a pizza man out there doing power bomb. Italian guy out there taking the pizza and spinning it, boom in your face, and then he slammed. It's awesome. You would love that. You got to look it up. You would love it. I'm done with this draft. Yeah, you're going to love this. Pizza guy wrestling? Pizza, pizza, guy wrestler. I mean, his name is Luigi Primo. Of course it is, Mike. You think his name was it going to be Luigi? Dude, I'm telling you. It's legit. Okay. Luigi Primo. Jerry, get this video on the back wall. So, you know how they have weight classes.

Yeah. Right? his weight class party weight yeah yeah baby I mean Luigi Primo he's here to party party

all right Jason two picks okay you took my turntable record player I'm gonna follow this guy right now I love eating and Mike you took

my pizza but you can't take my lazy Susan. I was wondering if that's where you were going to go. Yeah. Hey. Oh, that those spices. That ingredients very far. No, it's no. It's not. It's not here. It's right next to me. Man, look how easy that was. And then after that, I'm going to take another pick. Yeah. It's going to be, it's going to be hardcore. Are you out of things to see? No. No, no. I'm going to take a revolver cylinder. Oh, my goodness.

Some Russian roulette. Yeah. That's fun to spin. A little Wyatt Earp going on? Yeah, that's fun. You can also do the whole gun on your finger trick. I mean, that's really extreme. I should have taken both of those.

I told you it was going to be a hardcore pick. I told you. I said it before I picked it. I feel pretty silly about my next pick. You don't have a tornado or a gun. No, it's a baton. A baton. Oh, what a loser.

A baton? Like, I'm not even good enough to be a cheerleader. You're not in the band. You're not in the cheerleaders. You're just out front of the marching band? I'm in the flag line. Oh, man. I'm doing a baton.

That's one of the worst picks. And you have a revolver and he's got a tornado? Going revolver to baton. You've got a baton. You've got a baton. Oh, man. But you act like you couldn't have pivoted. His baton.

For sure. has little streamers on the end. Without a doubt. They're big streamers, Jason. Okay, they're very long streamers. These things are at least a foot. They're shiny. Hey, boys.

Oh, you're spinning a basketball. I'm spinning a basketball on my finger to finish it out. Absolutely. That's a great thing. The perfect draft. God's basketball. No, he already took her. I already took God's basketball.

God's top is. Oh, here we go. Here we go. He's a pizza guy. It's Louis. Oh, yeah. Oh, look at this dude. Go!

Football! Oh! Take your face! Dude, that guy's awesome. Party weight. Yeah. It's the party weight champ. Oh, man.

How do you go from the first inkling? What's your first thought that you're going to become that? I think he worked at a pizza place. Yeah, was he just... And just loved wrestling. It was like, what do I got? No, I feel like he was, one day he was tossing some dough and he's in a tank. right it's tight horse it's toy it's a wife the tank it's just he's got he's flipping and then in walks

a a vince McMahon type and he's like ooh I got plans for you I see you got some biceps okay I got one better for you okay he was at the the his place of work he's he's tossing this pizza he's making the dough he's at de jorno and and Vince McMahon is sitting down there and join us slice but it's it's mac Vince man okay in walks a robber and all of us Pets in the face! Peach in the face! Suplex! And McMahon gets up and his...

Oh, look at this! Look! Oh, you got this! He's spinning it. He's spinning it. He's spinning it in the face. And then he pins him for a three-count. And that robber ran away.

That's right. McMahon goes, boy, do I have a job for you? Luigi. I assume your name is Luigi. You work out of pizza shop. It is now. It is now. I'm just racial stereotyping.

It's Luigi. Primo. Forget about it. Elichi Primo's awesome. What did we learn today? Less than nothing. I learned a lot. Less than nothing.

I learned so much about what my friends are spending their money on, and I learned that you too should go and look at your Venmo streams. Do you want me to check my should do? I know what's in my personal one. Yeah. And you don't. Because it's personal. Yes.

Yeah. That's wild. And that's going to the store. You're going to Best Buy, and you're like, I'm a buy the new nickelback CD. Spences for... Knickleback. And then everyone's like, oh, he bought nickelback.

Expenses for college. Babysitting. Service dog. Golf tip. Oh, that's Jeremy. Snacks. Two tacos. Two tacos.

You got to label this. You send Venmo and you got a label. Lady. Excuse me. How much was the charge? This one's for Creed. See? The band?

Maybe. I just looked at Andy. feed, which was public in 2024. Oh, in 2024? Yeah, first one, thanks man. Second one, fire truck. Third one, thanks homie with a syringe.

Oh, what? What? Oh, no. Sir chasing the dragon? You're going to find a lot of syringes on there. There was a lot of syringes. Yeah, that's our Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's our guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. To be fair, that's our IV guy, to be clear. Yeah, no, that's the poppy man. For sure. Thanks, Jer. Hey, you made it public, brother. That's on you, dude. Shout out to Chris, the IV guy.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out Spitballerspod.com. Thank you.