Spittin Chiclets - Spittin' Chiclets Episode 168: Featuring Ryan Lannon

Episode Date: April 18, 2019

On Thursday's episode of Spittin' Chiclets the guys are joined by Ryan Lannon to talk about what it is like playing in Europe, to discuss growing up with Whitney and playing with Biz and Wilkes-Barre. The guys also give a playoff update and break down all the series so far including the shocking upset of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Whit also responds to Marc Savard and Frankie Borrelli as he has been getting attacked from all angles this week.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/schiclets

Hey, Spittin' Chicklets listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode 168 of Spittin' Chicklets, presented by new Amsterdam Vodka. Boys, we are in the thick of the playoffs. We're just coming off of Bruins, tying up the series with Toronto. 2-2, a puck line cover with two seconds left. Boys, I need a Xanax right now.

Let's go to the boys and say hello. What's up, buddy? Where are you right now? You're always in a different hotel room. Yeah, well, actually, I'm staying at my friend's place in Victoria, British Columbia. I'm closing on a property tomorrow, boys. Very excited. Not a big deal.

Not a big deal. Quick lift. My buddy, Cal O'Connor, shout out to my boy, Caliboy, got me a great deal. I love Victoria. I don't golf much, but once I retire and hopefully make enough money like Ryan Whitney, I may take up lessons and get somewhat decent at it. You guys know the hand eye ain't great. I'm going to need lessons.

I'm going to need all those little tools and shit they sell on infomercials to maybe shed five strokes off my 130 I shot at Whisper Rock. But just a beautiful city. Got a place in Oak Bay and unbelievable people. One thing about living down in the States that's a little bit different is, you know, like a lot of people don't know their neighbors, or at least where I'm from, where I was just checking out my lot today and like a couple people stopped and just shook my hand.

We're like, hey, man, what's going on? Like just come up and spark conversations where it feels like everybody knows everyone. Everyone's chatty and wants to be buddies. So a good spot for me. Boys, we've been a week into playoffs. I'm emotionally drained. I feel like we've been at this for a month.

Imagine if the Yotes were in it. I'm a jammer. That's next up, buddy, Ryan Whitney. It looks like you're in a hotel room once again. Where are you at? Yeah, I'm in Jersey at the NHL Network. Biz, yeah, that's awesome until, like, every single time you see each one of those neighbors, you got to talk to them for 45 minutes.

But still, I love the friendliness and the Canadian way of life, of living. So I'm pumped up, guys. Listen, it is emotionally draining. We'll get into what I have to say to certain is a certain fan base is in a little bit. But I did – we just hopped on post-Bruins game. I looked at Ari. I said, you had him pucked. I didn't use – I did.

I did. I had a little more money line, but still a big puck. I got it from you right there. Huge goal. So I could tell right away by your face that you won a bunch of cash. And I luckily had the Bruins, so I'm just trying to dig out of this hole. Yeah. We'll get to that one sec.

Let's say hi to our producer, Mike Grinelli. What's up there, guy? What's up, boys? Finally starting to win some money again. I've been riding the R.A. train. I thought you just said you lost or something. No, no, I'm winning. I'm winning right now.

You tweeted something else. Something saved you. Who saved you? Vegas saved me big last night. Vegas saved me huge. I had to eat off the dollar menu all week. Today I was able to get dollar slices, which is I could get a couple of those. So I'm doing better for myself, boys.

Jesus. But yeah, Whitman, I actually had a fucking three grand on just the money line tonight. So I was sweating that out because the Bruins are up 5-2. But you're never comfortable even in the playoffs. Three goal leads don't mean anything. Toronto got two quick goals, caught up to 5-4. Then, you know, there's no... We had to actually delay recording by 10 minutes

because sitting here trying to record would be like the end of Goodfellas trying to pay attention when he's all fucking snapped up trying to like think of the helicopters are chasing him. And he's got to like mix the sauce. He's like, I got to mix the sauce and then the babysitter needs her goddamn hat. Not to be mistaken with crossing the saucer.

Oh, dude. We're going to get to the cross and the sauces later, but don't. Don't tell Ovi he can't cross the sauce. He'll fucking kill you. But, yeah, in case you did miss it, the Bruins got a goal with two seconds left to get the puck line cover. It was a plus 240, so if you did have it, that's a huge swing for a late goal. So good stuff.

But, boys, I mean, like you just said, we're barely a week into the playoffs, and we already had two handshake lines. They happened Tuesday night, both on the Rust Belt, within about an hour of each other. First off, Columbus-Tampa Bay. Tuesday in Columbus, 19 years after they opened up shop, the Blue Jackets won their first playoff series in franchise history, and they did it perhaps the most stunning fashion ever.

The biggest underdog of the first round swept the President's Trophy winning. Tampa Bay Lightning, a 7-3 win. It shocked the hockey world. I know they got three empty netters there, but Tampa now has the distinction of being the first President's winner to be swept in the first round. And Columbus, man, they went from being almost not in the playoffs to like, shit, do you want to play this team now, biz?

Total 180 of what everybody thought here, huh? Oh, I got a lot written down about this one. I mean, I was obviously wrong in the prediction of the series, thought Tampa was going to win in six. I was very adamant about the fact that I thought that Tampa had peaked too early this season. Now, mind you, they were peaking pretty much the whole season. So it's, I mean, it's pretty easy to call that one, but a couple of fun facts since 2003. So in the last 17 years, only Detroit and Chicago have gone on to win the Stanley cup

after winning the president's trophy. So right away, it's kind of like you almost don't want to be so good all year where you have that expectation. A prime example of the peaking too early and just dominating all season, like Washington went through a period of time when they were just cleaning house, and then they couldn't get out of the second round of playoffs. I mean, we know the story. Like the year 2009-2010, Washington won 54 games

and then lost in the first round of the Montreal Canadiens. That's kind of what this one reminded me of. But even more so on this specific series regarding the Columbus situation when Vancouver lost to LA Kings in the first round in five games. That was a year where I believe that Vancouver had won the President's Trophy as well. After Game 2, I talked about Cooper's press conference. He was rattled. You could tell just a guy who had never really dealt with adversity

throughout the entire season, didn't really know what to say, didn't seem to have any really answers in that press conference either. Then all of a sudden you're dealing with more than likely at that point he knew Hedman was in trouble and wasn't going to be playing in game three. Kucherov had wires had crossed. He'd taken that stupid boarding call, whatever. He's going to lose him for game three. And, I mean, the wheels were coming off.

And then Columbus was just gaining all that steam because of it. Another fun fact for you guys. The last Stanley Cup champion with no players who had previously won a Stanley Cup was the Calgary Flames in 1989. It's been 30 fucking years. So Tampa was a team who had no guys on their team who'd won a Stanley Cup, so there was no experience in that locker room to maybe lead them through that type of adversity so to me like like i know people like like i remember when brooks orpec was in washington i'd always read his tweets about people chirping brooks orpec well he brings a dynamic to

that locker room that not a lot of people will ever see or understand and sure as shit he wins his second cup with washington helps them get over the hump last year so guys like that are important and really tampa didn't have any of those types of guys in the locker room to turn to. And another thing, the fact that Cooper didn't turn to Domingue in Game 4, I don't know. R.A., I'll throw it to you after this. Do they not switch it up? The guy had been solved.

I don't know, man. Vassie, I think the team bought in on him all the way. I just think that's a tough thing to do. He's a veteran. He's your guy, and you're going to put Domingan, who's coming off an injury. I'm not even sure what kind of condition he was to play. I don't know if that's the play. I don't know if the goaltender was the issue for them. To me, the biggest problem for Tampa Bay was no headman. I mean, they just looked lost without him. He does so much back there. He's such a horse that he's probably even more valuable to the Minkucherov.

So them not having him, I just thought they looked like a lost team out there. So even if they started Domingo Vassi, I don't think it would have the desired effect simply because they were getting beat in every other aspect of the game out there. I got two quick things that are kind of off ice before we go into maybe the hockey part of it.

One, I don't know how Nikita Kucherov didn't sucker punch Panarin during that handshake line. That was maybe like, I assume they're buddies, right? They have to be buddies. Cause he's kind of like,

Oh, what dude? But he's just laughing literally right in his face after the most embarrassing loss of Kucherov's life of like, oh, what, dude? But he's just laughing literally right in his face after the most embarrassing loss of Kucherov's life. And you could tell Kucherov is so fucking pissed off. And because they're buddies is probably why I didn't suck on him, but I couldn't believe that. Number two, John Cooper, at the end of that series,

a weird performance by him overall. As you mentioned, he looked like a little like just shaken right after game two game four happens and you had the season you had and you're gonna sit up there and say you know like eights beat ones now in the nhl like that's just there's so much parody league buddy you guys just fucking tied the record for greatest team in the history of the regular season. The league's been around for a hundred fucking years and you're going to sit there and give it the whole hum.

There's a lot of parody in the league. Eight beat ones, no shit, but this year it wasn't supposed to be you losing eight feet, eight beat ones. Yeah. When wits on Anaheim and they come out of nowhere and get the sharks, eight beats one, not Tampa, 2018, when Witt's on Anaheim and they come out of nowhere and get the Sharks, eight beats one.

Not Tampa, 2018-19 Tampa Bay Lightning, the ultimate wagon, the head wagon and wagons pulling across Westeros in Game of fucking Thrones. And this team and that after he's giving those quotes, it was like, it was just bizarre. The whole series was bizarre. Would you agree after game two, he just, he looked like the type of guy where he's dropping those quotes where it's

just like, this guy had no solutions. There weren't solutions to me. There was no solutions going on where it was like, shit, we've done the same fucking thing all year and have not had to adjust to anything. And all of a sudden,

the little bit of adversity just, it derailed them. And what's crazy is they were adversity just, it derailed them. And what's crazy is they were up 3-0 in game one. And I believe it was Kucherov who hit the crossbar. And then all of a sudden, the momentum just changed. And they never got it back after that. Talk to Nick Foligno today.

This was on NHL Now. And I actually said, what was the locker room like, you know, after that first period? And he said, we were pissed. Like, we were furious. And actually, he didn't say anything. You can tell he's so modest. Apparently, he, I found out after, he was the one who gave kind of a pissed off speech in there.

And I think Tortorella had something to say. But right at the beginning of the second period in game one, Bobrovsky made an enormous save. It was going to be 4-0. And who knows, dude? But they battled back. They win that game, and after talking Tampa, you got to give credit because what a team Columbus has right now.

Absolutely, and Ari, before I throw it over to you, after that period, in the 11 periods that followed, Columbus outscored Tampa Bay 19-5 in that series. It's funny, man. You always steal my stats biz. I was just going to – Oh, did I? I'm sorry.

No, no, that's good. We're always on the same wavelength. Yeah, we talked about Bob frequently, and we said how he goes, the team will go, and Bob was awesome. 4-0 with a 2.01 goals against 9-3-2 safe percentage against the most potent offense in the NHL. Like you said, he gave up those three goals in the first period of the series, then just five over the next 11 periods.

But Columbus got good balance scoring. They got goals from 12 different guys. Your boy, Matt, don't call me Steve, Dushane, three goals, four assists in four games. Before the playoffs, I think it was game one, they had one of those parties out in front of the arena, and they brought the Stanley Cup out for a Tampa pregame party. I thought that was weird when they did it because they're not the reigning champions. I'm sure if the league calls up and says,

we want to bring the cup out for an accoutrement for the party, but I don't understand why a team would have the cup there when they're not the defending champs. I don't know, man. I don't know if that's the hockey karma, the gods or whatever. But what do you think, Wetz? I was shocked to see that. I think there's a lot of teams out there and a lot of GMs out there

that wouldn't have been there. Like, I just don't think some people are agreeing to that. Put the President's Trophy out there. You guys already won that. You haven't won the Cup. Why the fuck's the Cup outside your arena? It's game one. It's not even game one of the cup finals. It's the first round, which you ended

up not winning one game in. I was really surprised by that. I'll give you the hockey gods and maybe watch in there, but you know what else? You watch that Columbus team and I mean, dude, very obvious, but why the hell can't they win the Stanley cup?

That's what they're saying themselves right now. Uh, we just dusted the best team in the league by a mile. We just absolutely worked them in four games. We didn't lose a game yet. Dushane was dominant that were Renski and Seth Jones. It's like the reminder of Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook, you know, 10 years ago, eight years ago, it's like just these two dominating players. And I mean, I'm not really comparing either one.

I'm just talking about two, just rock solid defenders on a really good team. So they got all this depth. They got this amazing, um, fan base that, that has never experienced winning. I mean, congrats to those guys. It's been a long time. They finally won a round. Jesus Christ, set the cannon off again an extra time. So it's a great team that's going to be a lot of trouble

for whoever wins this Boston-Toronto series. Well, and the Biz Nasty Apology Tour continues because I was a team that was very, very surprised that they made moves at the deadline to acquire players. I'm going to back that up. Obviously, I was wrong, but I'm going to back it up. From January 18th to March 2nd, that was kind of crunch time where they were hovering around, hey, are these guys going to make playoffs?

Well, right before the deadline in that time frame, they went 8-10. And obviously, we all know about the Bobrovsky situation where, well, we know what happened as far as him getting sat out a game. We don't really know what happened behind the scenes. And then we heard about him and Panarin having the same agent and the fact that they probably won't resign there. So I was questioning maybe their motivation, considering things weren't going that great at that time. And you guys know, sometimes torts wears on his players. He's a very hard coach. He's very demanding and a type of coach that will win somewhere. But, you know, over the course of time, guys, they tune him out.

Now, here's a quote. And one of you guys might have actually read it at the deadline. And this came from their general manager and another guy I owe an apology to, Yarmul Kikalainen. He's been there a while. He's done some amazing work for that organization. And this is what he had to say. If I had just traded Panarin for picks and Bobrovsky for picks, everybody in our fan base and city would have said fucking Blue Jackets. That's all they ever do is just trade for picks. And they tell us we're

going to be good in the future. Just wait, Be patient. No. We wanted to send a message to the fan base and the locker room at the deadline that we're serious about winning. If it doesn't translate to winning, hey, I'll take responsibility. Pull. Now this guy's walking around with the heaviest sack around Columbus right now because that was just the team gained all that momentum right before playoffs and they took in, and that locker room all of a sudden clicked. Another guy I was critical of was Matt Duchesne. We know the story. I told you about his numbers even right before playoffs had started.

He fucking shoved it right up my hoop. Three goals, four assists in that series. Remarkable. I'm happy for him. I want these guys to succeed. I just had to say how it was. This is a double agent for an agent out there. He's talking shit to give these guys the chicklets bump.

So then they get nice new contracts and biz gets it. And he somehow is weaseling money from both sides. He's like, this is incredible. They haven't figured this out yet. Also, too, did you happen to see the Tampa Bay's tweet they sent out? It was wicked like emo. It was like, we don't have any words and we know you don't want to hear them we understand your anger

your frustration your sadness everything you're feeling we get it this isn't the ending we imagined and certainly not the one we wanted thank you for being there the entire way it's like dude put down the fucking bottle of Pinot Grigio and settle down over there hey it's somebody somebody tweeted underneath it like

this was sent out by an intern named karen i was fucking dying wait that was like a aol away message back in the day like a drunk away i mean by the way i think that there was a lot of eyes that saw that before it went out no like i don't think some like p like social media team person just sent that out without getting like Coop sent it out. Coop was like with a little smiley face emoji at the end. I mean, I think you gotta

write, like they could have had such a better tweet. They could have just been, they could have written like, holy shit. Like, I guess you can't swear, but they could have been something way better than that. At least make people laugh. You wanted a cup? Zonk.

Hey, and then Grinnelli throws me out on the bus, which is bullshit. I love the fact that our fans rag on me about being the cheap guy, but of all people to go to the Spittin' Chicklets account, and what did you say? What did you quote? He said, when Biz leaves the boys at dinner

and texts the group chat, something like that. Yeah, and then what the Lightning said. Meanwhile, this fucker brings us to the Grand Boston so he can get his pee-pee wet, and I end up picking up a $1,300 tab, and this guy's going to throw me under the fucking kunkle? I will say that. I will say that.

You are very not cheap, but it plays with our fans. And, I mean, let's go back to the Matthews things. I don't even know if I ever explained it out in full on the podcast because I've been wearing that one the whole time. We went out to a day club. And don't be fucking tweeting Matthews about this. He's worrying about playoffs. He's tied 2-2.

We went out to the W. There was about 10 or 11 of us there. Me, Christian Fisher, and then Matthews. And then he had a bunch of buddies. There was 11 of us. And there was about 10 or 11 of us there me christian fisher and then matthews and then he had a couple like bunch of buddies there's 11 of us and there was three professional athletes there i ended up eating one of the three bottles of vodka and i was by myself i didn't drink that much so how is that being fucking cheap i think you tell me what i think that's just being a team guy and we're all just here and we're the three athletes and everyone get a bottle fucking be one

of them absolutely i mean i i wasn't gonna pick up all the air miles that guy's got 52 sheets And we're all just here and we're the three athletes and everyone get a bottle. Fucking be one of the guys. Absolutely. I mean, I wasn't going to pick up all the air miles. That guy's got 52 sheets coming towards him in the next five years. Anyway, we can move on from that. But congratulations to the Columbus Blue Jackets. I mean, boys, they have that type of confidence right now. I'm seeing, and as I mentioned earlier, when L.A. beat Vancouver in five, when they'd won the president's trophy.

Dude, Seth Jones was on the ice in warm-ups before game four doing the sweep motion. Was he really? Dude, he was in line on a two-on-one D-drill, and he was dancing around like Fortnite style. That video is from January. That video is from January. Oh, it was a fooled video. People were fooled. Everyone was fooled.

I was fooled. Fake news. God damn it. Fake news got me. I'm like... How I knew is in the picture, Savard has a full beard right now, and in that video, Savard is no beard. How about that picture

of Panarin and Bobrovsky just crushed last night on the Russian gas celebrating their sweep? By the way, I don't know which one of them had that little dog. It was just such a Russian picture. Biz, the belt's a Hermes belt, right? Oh, yeah. These guys spend it.

You know he's got the Abercrombie & Fitch ginge on too. He's got full-locker socks on. Which is amazing. Somebody else tweeted to us that Abercrombie and Fitch headquarters is in Columbus whether that's true or not maybe I got hit with another fake news thing which sucks

so the fake Seth Jones video of doing the sweet motion which I assumed came out after game 4 and it was before game 4 that he did it. Like, that paired up with the Panarin handshake. I'm like, these guys are the cockiest kids on the planet right now.

And Tampa did have one other tweet. They did congratulate Columbus, which I thought was a nice gesture. They said, congrats on an incredibly special series win for your organization, Columbus. You earned it. Good luck the rest of the way. And also, I want to say congrats to the Columbus fans. They've waited a long time.

They deserve success. Probably a long time ago, to be honest. But it's nice to see a fan-based experience, that joy that they never had before. Because it is thrilling to have your team win a series and move on. And it's been too long for them. So congratulations to everybody in Columbus. And one quick thing before we move on, R.A.,

we have to mention, point stammer Kutcherov. They didn't have any points until Game 4. McDonough, no points in the series, minus six. I mean, I know you guys say Hedman was a big loss, but, guys, they had a lot of other guys in the lineup that could have tugged on that rope in order to get over the hump. But as we mentioned, when you don't face adversity and you don't know how to deal with it, sometimes it's tough.

And the only thing that really sucks sucks and i can't imagine if it was a bigger market because tampa's got great fans but it does by it by no means dominates the news down there but fans no matter what are going to be like flipping out you know you have this season you get swept what are we going to do you got to change something it's actually very important for tampa bay uh you know general manager entire you entire staff to not overreact, right? Because look at what they did and look at how successful this team was. It's not by an accident. So there's something there that needs to change. But Washington had a lot of pressure for a long time to blow it up, blow it up. And they ended up holding on and then they won a Stanley Cup. So

you can't expect or want Tampa to just make a bunch of crazy moves because what they have there is special. There's just something that's possibly missing that, you know, could have just been injury or it could be something else. But to go out and make an enormous move just for the sake of doing it would be stupid. And quickly, when I mentioned that Washington, when they had those seasons of dominance and they lost,

that 54 games they won in 2009 won in 09 2010 they ended up facing montreal in that first round ended up going up 3-1 in that series and then lost in seven so the reason i compared it mostly to the vancouver one is just how dominant la was like they didn't bat an eye there was no doubt in their game they just fucking got it done like right to the throat kill shot yeah boy sometimes great teams just go out early. It happens. We should mention we have a friend of you guys coming on to join us in a little bit, Ryan Lannan. He's not a household name, but he played with Wits.

And did he play with you too, Biz, no? Or am I making that up? Yeah, I played with him in Wilkes-Barre. Not as much because I was up and down from the East Coast at that time, but a great guy. He's had a wild ride. I hope you guys really enjoy this interview. There was one moment that I was surprised about,

but it was very emotional, interesting to hear from him. And we even had a chance to talk to him after the interview about it where I'd like to see the guy get another shot, at least the American League. And, hey, you just never fucking know. So I won't spoil it too much i hope you guys do enjoy that interview coming up yeah we'll be bringing that in a little bit but we're going to take a look at that other series that concluded to uh another upset the islanders in pittsburgh a little bit after columbus upset it was about 180 miles to the east the

islanders completed the first sweep since 1983 when they beat edmonton for their fourth cup they knocked out the penguins in the first round. It was the first time the Penguins have been swept in the first round since 1972. The Islanders outscored the Penguins 14-6. They just thoroughly dominated them. Sid Crosby had one assist all series. I believe he was a minus four. I mean, I can't say I'm surprised they had the Islanders winning in seven.

I didn't think they were going to sweep them like this, but Lena outplayed Murray. Murray wasn't bad. But the Pittsburgh offense just couldn't do much, man. Like we said before, their speed, they couldn't get their speed going. They couldn't get anything going. What's your take on this? The New York Islanders, congrats to you. What a series.

I was wrong. I was wrong. I'm going to go into that in a little bit. First, I'm going to focus on the Penguins. Shocked, shocked at what happened with their entire team and the whole effort. You could tell in game four, I think it was Brian Boucher between the benches, whoever it was, said this Pittsburgh team, they don't even really want to be here right now. I'm paraphrasing, but he said there was no life on the bench,

and it was the whole series in a nutshell. I mean, game one started. Tom Kunakl came off the bench like Bobby Holland, wired one shelf, and ended up being called back because he was offside. The call seems going crazy, and it was just like, what's going on here? And every game was

the same way. It didn't matter. My call about Pittsburgh skill and the Islanders not being able to match it was incorrect because Pittsburgh skill was non-existent. I mean, it was a crazy series to see Malkin and Crosby and these stars really struggle. And it was, you know, it was, I'm never going to say it was, it was expected, right? Because I thought the complete opposite, but if you look at how the regular season went, the Islanders were the better team. So that brings me to my other point. I never had a problem with the Islanders ever in my life. I met Frankie Borelli, right? Seemed like

a nice kid, you know, seems like a good guy, Islanders fan. And I thought he was a normal kid. He's a fucking psychopath lunatic. This kid is, is, does he understand how ridiculous he looks? They won the first round and he's screaming. And by the way, he's texting me the most absolute nonsense. You're in my rear view mirror and you're in my,

what are you talking about? Bareilly? The only reason I ever pick against the Islanders from the day I met you was just to get you rattled. I don't give a shit. Partly reason I ever pick against the Islanders from the day I met you was just to get you rattled. I don't give a shit. Partly I thought Pittsburgh was better. I also have always picked them against them because you're there and you actually flip out and bite for it every single time. Now he goes to the level of complete insanity. And let me tell you, I'm in your rearview mirror. I don't give a fuck Borellilli. You're in my, you're fucking fiddling with your camera to film one of Dave's pizza reviews. I'm driving by you to the golf

course. You're in my rearview mirror. I'm not even in your mirror. I don't give a shit. I'm happy for you as a fan, but I'm telling you what winning one round and jumping around and screaming like that, that's just showing that you're a fucking fan base that's won two series in 25 years. I mean, what are you doing? Have a little bit of class. Have a little bit of realizing we have a long way to go. And you Islanders fans, everyone else coming at me, I don't blame you. I was wrong. I've been shitting on your team, but you're all dirtbags since the Tavares incident. So I don't give a shit. I'm going to root against I was wrong. I've been shitting on your team. But you're all dirtbags since the Tavares incident. So I don't give a shit.

I'm going to root against you next round, and I'm going to root against you if you win. And then you know what? Just like Vegas last year, which wrong? Vegas keeps moving on. Well, Vegas ended up losing, and so will you. So enjoy the first round. You're not winning the Stanley Cup.

And Borelli, you have serious issues. I mean, how do I follow that up that up man I'm in tears over here um let's start with Pittsburgh just yeah just very disappointed in the overall record uh shocker again I remember what I said before this round started I said guys Pittsburgh their skill guys have they've seen it all you're going to try to trap them and take their skill away. I said they're going to stay patient, and they're not going to lose focus of the ultimate prize. And I tell you what, they did.

Islanders chewed their skill guys up. They didn't even get a sniff. They couldn't even get oxygen out there. They just were a wet blanket all over Pittsburgh offense. Talk about five-man defense. They are just buying into Trotz's system. This is Trotz's mind at work. If Trotz could paint his Mona Lisa or his Picasso,

it would have been that first round against the Penguins. And they shut them down to six goals in four games, no points for Crosby in the first three. I mean, and you said it with Boucher's comments between the benches. After game two, I'm like, I mean, I expect them to at least split at home, but I just don't see that pizzazz that they've had from years past. I don't think Murray's to blame for any of this. I thought he was – he wasn't Murray from the past.

He wasn't when they won their other two cups, but he was respectable. But I tell you who did play well was the guy across from him, and I'm so happy for Leonard. And go back to what you said, Whit. Like, I'm happy for that fan base. I'm happy for those guys in that locker room. I know I said something wrong last week with the Terry flip cup, as Grinnelli would call him, Philp him, is he actually has won a Stanley Cup.

But for the most part, that's a team of guys who teams traded away and maybe think they weren't the right pieces. I mean, look at a guy like Jordan Eberle. They just threw him away. You're like, this guy's never going to help anyone get over the hump. He's fitting perfectly there. Another guy, Josh Bailey. By the way, have you guys heard this song they play?

Hey, ooh, ah. I want to know. But they go, ooh, Josh. I was wondering what that was. Dirty dancing action. Yeah. So he feels at home there, and he stepped up to the plate in round one. He had three goals for that team.

So, I mean, to me, they were a team of castaways, and they're just all gluing together and obviously mixed with a wonderful player in Barzell who had a tremendous first round. But I couldn't be happier for that overall group. The best fourth line in hockey in my books, which gets that fan base going crazy. And I want to reiterate again, Leonard, I am so happy for that guy. I'm a sucker for a comeback story,

and he was just as fucking advertised as the regular season. Yeah, 4-0, 1-4-7 goals against, 9-5-6 save percentage. He always seemed to make the save when he needed to make a save out there. Very impressed with how he played. Like you said, Biz Murray, he wasn't the reason they lost, but he didn't really make the save when they needed him to. But I don't think Pittsburgh was going to win this series anyways.

So now the Isles are going to sit tight, rest up. Canes and Caps are going to beat up on each other for a couple more games. Like you said, Jordan Ebley wants the series. He had four of the Isles, 14 goals as well as two assists. It was entertaining, and I got the cash in. And last thing we go – oh, go ahead, Witt.

Sorry. No, just quickly about Ebs because very happy for him. But, you know, they complained and they talked when he made the playoffs with Edmonton, and he didn't score a goal. You know, they lost game seven in the second round, and he didn't score a goal. And they, you know, trade Eberle. Well, well fuck he didn't have the best regular season but look at the playoffs he's had and i think that it's great for a guy like that especially ufa year abby

you thought the regular team was a waste you're just adding some money on there every game now um and last thing before i move on i'm never one to to really chirp media members or anyone in the media because i know how hard it is on this side sometimes people say some crazy shit and you know you just kind of say ah you know maybe they were just thinking that for whatever reason an angle that i didn't see well now's my first my first real call out from Pat Caputo. He's a Detroit radio host. He wrote this in a fucking tweet. Sidney Crosby, best player in the world, my ass.

Penguins out in four straight. He did nothing in series but whine. I'm sure, though, he is worthy of another Conn Smythe trophy, right? Hyperbolic bullshit tweet. Fuck you. A guy had a bad playoff series. Big deal. He guys got three rings. And in two of those playoffs, he put the team on his back. One of which he won the con Smythe. You're like, that's a piece of shit comment. And then I got another, another, uh, and a Caputo, just a quick reminder. i know sit at a bad series but uh let's go down the list here of highest points per game in stanley cup history seventh all time he's at 1.16 points per game and that's with a minimum of 40 career games played and keep in mind he's got 160 games

played in playoffs with 185 points so don't give me your hyperbolic bullshit tweets. Could you imagine tweeting that out if Iserman had a bad playoff series after all he'd done for that city? No. You're a clown. Shut up. Yeah. There's a lot of goof.

Every city has them, goofball fans. Also, I want to hug Josh Bailey for that unreal empty netter. He sought to seal the series and the puck line, just sniped it from the opposite circle. It was an unreal goal. So moving on to the next series, we had, let's see, Winnipeg and, what is it, St. Louis. That's a Central Division matchup.

It's been a battle, man. The road teams won all four games thus far. Jets grabbed a huge win Tuesday night in St. Louis to tie the series and avoid falling into the dreaded 3-1 hole. We got to talk about Shifley, Connor, and Wheeler. Each of them got five points so far in this postseason, total 15 points altogether. They're just dominating.

They kind of woke up. I'm not sure if St. Louis has the guns to stop them. Wits, what do you got in this series so far? Oh, just an enormous waste of getting two wins on the road for the Blues to come home, just split at home. But Winnipeg, man, they had some nice plays in those two games on the road. Holy shit. The OT winner, Blake Wheeler, made two plays on the tying goal

and the winning goal that were so sick. High speed with unreal skill coming through the neutral zone, backing off D, stopping up. This Kyle Connor, he doesn't get enough credit. A lot of time it's Wheeler-Scheifele talk, and he's younger, but actually I'm not even sure if he's younger than Scheifele, but either way, this guy is a legit sniper. He has some goals in this series, quick releases from the circle

on a power play, one goal, top shelf. Just been dominating. He's fast. He's able to really keep pace with those other two. I mean, it's surprising. I actually thought I like St. Louis Luck owner of this series, and then they win the first two games. You're loving them.

And right now I'm like, oh, dude, Winnipeg looks great. They're going home. They're actually feeling it right now. Hellebooks looked really good. And I think Binnington, you know, he hasn't been bad by any means, but he's certainly – he's run into a little bit of spell. I mean, I don't remember the last time he lost two games in a row, if he has. Well, no, actually, I'll tell you right now.

Jordan Binnington following a loss this season. He's 6-0-0 with a 1.79 goals against. Not anymore. A 9.35 save percentage. Now, he ain't the reason they lost that game. No, no, no, no. But it's a little different. It's a little adversity that he hasn't really faced.

Tuesday was the first time Bennington lost back-to-back games all season. That was the first time. Yeah, so St. Louis is still in this series. They're very evenly matched. Winnipeg's a better skating team but man buffins look good he was out injured when they were struggling coming down the stretch he's looked really good and there's been other there's been other things that have surprised me and one of it one of them is that kevin hayes hasn't really played a ton on winnipeg and you know they bring

them over and it's it's the perfect example of times when i don't know what if GMs and coaches don't necessarily talk before they trade for guys or whatever it was, but Kevin Hayes hasn't even really played a ton. And I think that I thought he would play a big role, but I mean, he's playing fourth line. He's not playing on the PP or the PK and he's led the NHL in penalty killing points since he entered the league and he has the fourth most power play points on the team, but he can't get on either. So that's me looking and kind of confused, but they've won two in a row. So they seem to have things figured out. Either way, it's going to go seven.

I'd be very surprised if there's two winners in a row here. Yeah, I mean, regarding the Hayes situation, sometimes you see when a guy goes over to a team where you think it's going to be the perfect fit, and for whatever reason, yeah, maybe the coach isn't putting you on the penalty kill or you're not playing as much penalty kill time as you're used to, and then even taking away that two minutes a game might get you out of the rhythm of that game.

And now you're saying he's not playing power play. Well, now you're really out of your rhythm. Now you're not getting your touches, especially playing the middle of the ice. If you ain't getting your touches, you know, it's hard to get, as I said, in the rhythm of that game. And another prime example of that in R.A., you'll probably be able to attest to this one more so than anyone, is when Thomas Caberle went over from the Toronto Maple Leafs

to the Boston Bruins. They still won the Stanley Cup. He went from playing 30 minutes in Toronto to by the end of it, I think he was a healthy scratch. They had the worst power play in the playoffs too, and that's why they brought him over. They still won the Cup. Right, but they still ended up winning the Cup.

But sometimes, you know, for whatever reason, that coach and that system and the guys he's playing with don't fit. Now, I'm not saying that's the case, and that's going to be the case for the whole playoff, but I hope our boy Hazy gets a few more chances. We don't need to go into the lining talk we had it with with ray ferrero he was in agreement the guy basically disappeared the second half of the season did he say he had 18 goals in the in the month of november is that what he said 18 yeah that is fucking insane and i get that this guy's month this yeah he had to have been player of the month

uh that he's world-class talent and that's not what i'm trying to take away from patrick lining I get that this guy's... Have a month. Yeah. He had to have been player of the month. He's world-class talent, and that's not what I'm trying to take away from Patrick Laine. My criticism is, as someone who's considered elite, you don't disappear for a couple months. You might see a couple weeks, maybe, but not a couple months. Come on, guys. How many elite status players are we going to give the title in this league?

Not someone who disappears for two months. So anyway, he got into playoffs, totally different ballgame, and he's unbelievable. He's shoving it right up my hoop, and I don't care. I'm happy for the guy. But he's another guy who stepped up for that team. And as you said, the big boys have showed up. The only time they didn't show up was maybe game one, but that was one that Bennington stole. And as I talked about on the last one that Bennington stole and as I talked about on the last podcast with Ray Ferraro as I said Hellebuck hasn't been Hellebuck status well he stole his game I said he needed to steal one and he got one game four so basically we've literally seen it all from both teams they've seen everyone's done their thing at one point

now it's the best of three. What do you think, Ari? It's funny. Again, there's another note I had written down. Ever since Hellebuck let up that dud to Ryan O'Reilly in game two, he's been lights out. He's been a fucking stud ever since. I picked Winnipeg from the get-go, and nothing I've seen has changed my mind. I think they're going to steal.

Not steal. I think they're going to win the next game Thursday night, game five. That's always a big one. I'm still on track. I still like Winnipeg to win the series. And I'll tell you right now, just based on St. Louis' track record, and I'm not trying to be Mr. Negative, and I picked St. Louis to win in six, I believe, maybe seven. But if I was able to switch my pick right now,

I think I would shift towards Winnipeg's favor. I think I would too, Winnipeg's favor. Just because of the mental aspect in the past and what that fan base and organization's been through. And all of a sudden, they get up to a 2-0 lead and they're like, on a year that we weren't really supposed to in the month of December, now we've already gotten over another hump. Now we're playing with the house's money.

Let's roll. Now, all of a sudden, it's like we're up 2 and holy shit, now we're tied going back on the road. So hopefully're playing with the house's money. Let's roll. Now all of a sudden it's like we were up two, and holy shit, now we're tied going back on the road. So hopefully they're going to have the same luck they did in the first two games in Winnipeg. Yep. And now let's take a look at another series out west before we bring it over

to Ryan Lennon. Vegas, San Jose. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Vegas took a commanding 3-1 series lead after they blanked the Stars. I'm sorry, the Sharks 5-0 on Tuesday night. They have a chance to wrap up the series Thursday in San Jose.

The Sharks had to play game four without Joe Thornton. He got suspended for one game for an illegal check to the head of Thomas Nosek. But I'll tell you, Stone, Pacioretty, and Stastny, similar to what those guys are doing in Winnipeg, these guys are tearing it up for Vegas. Patch and Stone averaging two and a half points a game. But Stone has been unreal. He's got six goals, two more than anybody else in the playoffs right now.

These guys are just on fire. They looked even better than the team last year, if that's possible. Biz, what's your take on this one so far, brother? When Gallant said that we were going to be ready for game two and he was adamant about it, sometimes coaches bluff where they're just like he's hoping the players maybe read or hear that, and then now it amps them up. Nah, they were ready to go.

First game was just they were just off for whatever reason. Maybe the shark tank got to him maybe all of a sudden they're like after a period and a half they're like boys we're actually here again we know how to do this let's fucking wake the fuck up and things are just in rhythm form they look unstoppable i won't even get into the crazy shit off the ice i mean we'll get into the the cane and reeve situation but holy, talk about the big boys for Vegas. And another guy I called out, Pacioretty. I didn't give him a big call out.

I just said, hey, there's another guy. You know, that's one reason why Montreal Canadiens fans weren't that upset when he left because he's like, oh, when it came to crunch time, he wasn't really there for us. Well, he's fucking been unbelievable. Nine points in this series. Stastny, Paulie Walnuts, a guy that the media in Vegas was even over the sky a little bit this year.

They say, he's a little too slow. He's slowing down. I don't think he's the guy to get us there. Eight points in this series so far. And, of course, Stoner. How about that pickup and signature for that organization? Congratulations to him. Just nominated for the Selkie.

Led the league with 122 takeaways this year. I would say the best defensive forward who can put up points is Mariosa. So the big boys are going. Fleury's back in rhythm, and they look like the Golden Knights of last season. Yeah, the West favorites right now for me. Fleury, another shutout, not a big deal. They have two first lines. I mean, the line you just talked about and then the line from last year

that got them to the cup finals and Carlson Smith. And who am I forgetting on the other line? Marcheseau. Marcheseau scored a nice goal last night. So it's San Jose. I mean, games two, three, and four, they're giving up goals in the first minute. The first minute of the game. This Vegas team, especially at home, Jesus, do they build on momentum.

You're giving up goals in the first minute to a team that just gets things rolling. It's a recipe for disaster. That's the saying, correct? The old recipe for disaster saying, attaboy, Witt. And you look at the goaltending, and it sucks to really give it to a guy, but Martin Jones just doesn't have it. So people are saying, you know, start Aaron Dell. Well, he's gone in, and he hasn't looked great.

It just sucks to watch a really good team. And that's not to not blame the forwards and the defense units in San Jose right now because they haven't played great. But it's a good team that just can't catch a stop right now. And it's so hard for them, I think, to play a style when you know – and, Biz, you know what I'm saying. Sometimes when you have no confidence in your goalie, the team plays a different way.

It's like you're trying not to make a mistake because you're not going to get bailed out and they just look not ready to play and in a way that they're not even close. Well, and it kind of reminds me at the start of the year when Carlson had just came over and all of a sudden they were just out of

whack and when that team's out of whack, they're a liability defensively. And the reason I say that is just the riverboat gambler style of Brent Burns and Eric Carlson mixed in with the fact that Martin Jones just can't come up with that big save is a recipe for disaster. I mean, we've seen that over the course of this series. And R.A., I mean, regarding the Martin Jones situation, I believe you have something for us. Yeah, I mean, they chased him in the first period yet again.

I was wondering if they'd come back with Dell myself, Wits. And then after the game, Jones was not available for the postgame. The team said, quote, they couldn't find him, end quote, from a spokesman, and they had to get DeBoer to the podium. That's just weird to not be able to find a player is just a, I don't know if it's an excuse or they legit couldn't find them, but his last three games, he's given up 11 goals on 54 shots and he's been pulled twice.

That's a seven, nine, six, eight percentage. I mean, I feel bad. Like I'm almost picking on the guy by now, but the numbers are what they are, man. We talked about it before the series. It's the whole reason I made my prediction of Vegas winning the series and we've seen it play out. There's also been some other stuff playing out. How about Revo and Evander Kane, man? They were going

at it all game and then finally they both won it. They both fought. I think the after effects with all the shit talk, it might have been more entertaining than the fight though, eh, Whit? I got to give Evander Kane some credit because he's now fought chara and reeves who to the probably two guys that you'd least like to fight in the nhl currently this season um but in the end you look at this reeves is doing his job i mean he's making his presence known uh in an immediate and and

forceful way. This is serious. I mean, look at what he's done already. He's got guys talking about him off the ice. He's got 30 goal scores fighting him. Takes Kane a lot of guts to fight him. But I was reading somewhere, Biz, that this has been like nine years. Have they, like, always hated each other?

Yeah, for whatever reason. Well, I don't know why. I'm just saying I didn't know they'd be battling this long. Yeah, there's definitely a rift there that boiled over. I'm going to commend Kane for standing in there. He was throwing bombs too. I know obviously Revo won the fight, but for a guy who can put 30 goals in the net every year,

that's one tough bastard. Regarding the Reeves comments, like I love Reeve-o. I would never, ever disrespect a legend like Joe Thornton in the media. And I know playoffs makes – Even if he went after him first? Joe Thornton made comments about Ryan Reeves? Yeah, well, he said – Oh, I was not aware of that. I'm sorry.

I don't know if he said his name even, but he was talking about the fight, and he's like, yeah, pretty good scrap for a 30-goal score. Like, kind of like – like, I don't know what to infer from it. Almost saying like – Well, let's let Mikey's got it, he said. I'll play the audio. I'll play the audio right now. Okay.

Can you have the Evander Ryan Reeves hustle? Yeah, for a 30-goal score, boy, he looked good in that fight. Huh? You know, looked like Brett Hall. You know, Brett Hall fighting Ryan. It was just, you know, it was tough to see Ryan go down like that, you know, versus a 30-goal score. But hopefully I'll have better luck next time.

Yeah, so, you know, there was definitely an aspect of going. I don't think Reeves came out of nowhere to go at Thornton. That's all I meant. Okay, no, I mean, that's fair. Now that I've heard that, I still don't think personally I would have said something back. But I guess that just goes to show that Revo doesn't give a shit. He wants to win, and he understands that there's a mental aspect to this game.

shit he wants to win and he understands that there's a mental aspect to this game and i don't think there's anyone in the nhl who's down to play it more than revo and then also be prepared to back it up and i know i touched on it uh or i sorry i didn't touch on it last time because the fight hadn't happened yet correct no you didn't get a chance to talk about the fight holy shit dude Revo's throwing so hard but yet so controlled that if he connects with someone's jaw someone's gonna die this is just in 10 pieces like I've I obviously fought a little bit more defensive style I used to use the jersey jab more and I would punch with my right, but also in a position where I knew one wasn't going to come back. And if I miss with my right, then I would potentially be picking up my teeth off the ice pit and check. Let's quick shout out.

He's throwing with so much velocity that remember he's longer than most guys. I mean, only other like char and maybe a few other guys who he probably doesn't even fight have longer reaches then and he's he's gonna fucking kill somebody they gotta end fighting because of ryan reeves yeah i think he definitely won that fight too with it but that didn't prevent kane from still talking shit after the fight he said uh for the so-called toughest guy in the league i don't know if he landed a punch at times i thought I thought I was fighting the muffin man. Didn't expect that. I expected a lot more of a battle. For a guy who plays three and a half, four minutes a night, he sure does a lot of talking.

I think he thinks it's the WWE. He probably is going to end up there pretty soon with the way his game looks. Another year left in his deal. I'm sure Vince McMahon will be giving him a call pretty soon. To be honest, he owes me a lot of credit for getting his name out in the media so much. Nobody thinks of Ryan Reeves as a hockey player. So that was after he took a beat, too, so it didn't shut him up, that's for sure.

Yeah, holy shit. They just despise each other. I was like, when the guy's knocked out, and then you set his jaw up on the curb, and then you just stomp her out. It's like beating the dead horse. But this first week of playoffs has brought in wwe style entertainment off the ice and it's a league that backs it up on the ice this nhl 100 the best playoffs in any sport don't even fucking at me no doubt about it uh boys i think we should send it over to ryan lannon now

man this is this has a character i enjoyed hanging out with him shooting the shit with him he had he had some pretty interesting stories to tell. He's had quite a few stops in his hockey career for sure. Hello. So without further ado, let's send it over to Ryan Lannan. An absolute pleasure to be now joined by a longtime friend of mine, a man who ironically enough played with Biz in the minors, whose hockey DB is like a bowl alphabet soup, who came out of retirement.

He's back playing. He didn't play for three years, but former Harvard graduate and good friend, Ryan Landon. Thanks for joining the podcast, buddy. Thanks for the intro, Whit. Good to be here. It means a lot. And it's funny because I heard from you, I want to say, a year ago. I think it was like a month after you joined biz or something and it

was on a dm and on instagram he's like dude i love the podcast and right away i was like first of all that's so cool to hear like a buddy say that and then i thought well you're gonna be perfect to get on sometime so we went in with some bigger names originally but now we're getting you in the mix for for uh in the season nhl hall of famers in line ahead of me I understand I am genuinely looking at the list of guests that you guys have had I'm sure as players and fans am I good here? well it's just when you turn your head sometimes

we gotta teach everyone how to use a microphone I started off there and then I turned to talk to her who knew Lano had peripheral vision unless he sees glass and he's just like, chip it off that thing. Absolutely.

Anyway, so the point of my rambling was it's an honor to be here. This meant some absolute legends of hockey present and past on this podcast. And it's humbling as a fan of the show, but it's great to see some friends and make some new ones. Lano was a little nervous getting into this one too

because he took off his jacket and he's got the biggest pitters. Bro, this guy's had pitters since he was 11 years old. You're like, do you have a hair under your armpits yet? No, but I have monster puddles underneath every day at school. Well, we got cameras here so we could use this as an Instagram clip. Get his skin out of the way so now I don't have to worry about it. No, you're good. I'm pretty good. I don a new skin on the waist? Do I have one? Do I have one? No, you're good. I'm pretty good.

I don't really get them that often. Once they start, I'll have this until dinner time, and then I'll just change my shirt. Where do we even begin with this guy? Should we start from the top and go down to the bottom? Now, I want to ask you, you played in the Finnish League this year. You're not there anymore? Is the season over? I got home from Helsinki.

Saturday will be two weeks, so the season finished. It came down to, I was in the SM League, their top league over there. The hockey's fantastic. Yeah, not a big deal. I started my season in England, which was a different story we can get into. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The EIHL? The EIHL. Well, I want to go back to

the Cardiff Devils. The Cardiff Devil legend, Paul Bissonnette. There's some other questions I have though about, alright, so this year we got Finland. We'll'll get to that i don't even want to go to the beginning when we're younger the your first career i want to know how after what was it three years it was actually four years four years and in that time kind of what happened to make you be like i'm gonna play pro hockey and how did you get a contract who'd you hold hostage to get a deal after fucking surfing for four years he was like nello ferrero calling teams as his own agent pretty much i'm going that anytime i like even post something on instagram i feel like kenny powers like you know when he

made that video with the lightning and the thunder going off like taking a slap shot and just smoking um how did i get a contract after four years off? First how did you what was it like I want to play I want to do that grind again yeah I was just done I turned 30 years old in Austria brushing

my braces in the bathroom mirror like the fifth game of the season coming back from an AHL surgery I knocked my two front teeth out, fell into the dasher board, tripped like five feet, going to wind up and clear shot and penalty kill. Lost an edge and just didn't split my lip,

didn't break my nose, didn't cut my bottom lip, just jammed my face right where the plexiglass and the dasher meets. This is a toe pick. No one hit you. Nobody near me. That's when it would have been like time to shot her.

Yeah. And then especially after wearing braces for a couple years imagine going wearing braces in austria to 30 year old wearing braces is not a good look how bad was your kill count the minute you got them put on to the minute you took them off uh it was a long season a lot of pay-per-play not in austria um i uh i was just done i my dream of being ray bork at that moment was officially over uh i think when i went to finland the first time i was thinking i could be a tim thomas and come back and play at the hl maybe the nhl but by the time that injury happened i was i was. I just wasn't fun anymore. I actually had a contract to return to Finland, and I called them up after a month, and I said, listen, you guys have been paying me to be at the gym doing squats. I'm at the beach drinking beers, and I'm not leaving.

Yeah, like it's not happening. It's not happening. So the GM there was a gentleman. He was like, are you sure? Are you sure? I said, yeah, I want to just do something completely different from hockey. They were going to let me, like, I had this whim of a business idea. They were going to let me run my business all summer, miss training camp, and still go to Finland in September.

That's like the ideal situation because Europe sucks because you've got to leave in July. Yeah, you get there. I mean, that's the KHL, but either way. They're training camps. It's like when you go to the NHL and AHL training camps, it's the KHL, but... Still, late July. Either way. They had their training camps. It's like when you go to the... You've been NHL and AHL training camps. It's totally different. You have double sessions over there.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. So you had a business mind, and you kind of wanted to go in a different direction, and you tried to go that route? I guess I thought I had squeezed all the juice out of hockey, that I had had a good run. I had played longer than I expected to play. I'd seen Europe.

There was no more pages to turn, I felt like, in that regard. I had a couple ideas of whim of entrepreneurship that I think is instilled in me that will always be there. Every year, I would try to basically start a new business. It was completely separate from the previous one. It's like one of these is going to hit. And I still think one of these is going to hit. I went from a working

out fitness thing into more of surf and style. I opened a surf shop on Cape Cod that had no surfboards. We had no wetsuits. We had maybe a couple of women's bathing suits, but it was just like t-shirts and stuff I designed. I just went... The whole town was like, well, that's the new front for heroin in this town. I mean, you probably shouldn't say heroin.

I had a full-on Breaking Bad setup, but it was just marijuana in my RV. I had a full-on Breaking Bad setup, but it was just marijuana. In my RV, I slept in an RV on the beach. I would drive my RV up Route 6A to my surf shop that was basically an office. When I was there, I would just take naps. I would just put a close sign on the door.

How would this business fail? Yeah, no kidding, huh? I took the retail shop into my RV, drove the RV from Cape Cod to California because I wanted to chase the summertime. My excuse at the time for my business not working on Cape Cod was that I only had three or four months to make all my sales. So I thought, oh, if I take the surf shop mobile, I'm good to go. So then you were taking naps in your van. All the time.

I drove from Cape Cod to California a couple times during my little four-year break. And it was just me and my dog and selling T-shirts. I had a whole screen printing press, a whole inventory in my van. So I paid for gas money with T-shirts. I sold it. So when you got to California, you were just living out of the van? Oh, yeah. Wow.

I love that. No, this was an RV. So just to clarify, I now live in a van. But at the time... We've gone to the van now but at this time it was an RV I've upgraded to a van I've downsized from an RV like this

at this time with the t-shirt and all that stuff was a full on RV like what was it uncle who's the guy from

what was the name of your shitter's full oh no cousin Eddie yeah cousin Eddie don't you worry about her Clark she works like a heron she works like a bird.

He knows all the movie quotes. I know, I know he does. I know he does. I turned to look for help, Uncle. Came through. So what was the name of the company called? Started as Wicked Cape. I was trying to bring together basically Bostonians going on a vacation on Cape Cod.

So then I just got, I don't even say wicked like personally in my vocabulary. So I just got obnoxed, like annoyed with myself of saying, oh, Wicked Cape, Wicked Cape. Just, I don't know. I probably named it

10 different things. Currently, Llano is my umbrella and then I'm just going to try to figure out. Llano LLC? Yeah. We have like nine companies.

So yeah, it's great for taxes. You should open up a company. It's like Prestige Robot. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, what did you want to talk about after California?

I wanted to talk about... I coached in that span too, which was fun. Yeah, so that's what I was going to say. When you started coaching, I was guessing that's when you'd say, I actually want to play again. I'm in decent shape. Let's not say you're as ripped as you were that first go around, but you're still looking pretty solid. I'm in decent shape. Let's not say you're as ripped as you were that first go-around, but you're still looking pretty solid.

I'm in okay shape. I'm not compared to like... I mean, these young kids in Finland, they're just... Did you play against that Kapo Kako? No, I didn't. Fuck that kid. I didn't know if you heard about him over there. I heard the name. I actually heard about him because he's going to be one or two with Jack Hughes

basically. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I would not be surprised if there's a wave of Finnish people. You actually heard about him because he's going to be one or two with Jack Hughes, basically. Yeah, exactly. But, yeah, I would not be surprised if there's a wave of Finnish people. You've heard it here first. It's hard to start it. In the next five to ten years, just the development. These kids, I mean, some of these 18-, 19-year-old kids are literally half my age. And I would have them lined up. Like, I know that I have a solid left shoulder, not a great right shoulder.

No, you do not have them lined up. I had, like, I know i can give a good cold shoulder i had some of these kids that i thought i was gonna at least knock them over and i would knock the wind out of myself colliding with them i was like oh my god i thought you said they were gonna dodge you no or some would just like kind of give it back and they wouldn't budge an inch and i was like oh my god that would have knocked somebody out 10 years ago and now should we go let's go back to the harvard days let's start off from the beginning okay i mean you played your minor hockey in boston before hockey i have one harvard question i want to get i days. Let's start off from the beginning. You played your minor hockey in Boston.

Before hockey, I have one Harvard question. I want to get this right out of the way. How do you like that, Matt? I want you to explain the exchanging of sex for papers while at Harvard. Oh, wow. We're going right into it. Because this is one that I've always heard about, and people need to understand it.

To be able to pull this off is so legendary. Well, you were almost going to write a book about it or you might still be in the process. I hope you write a book. It's called How the Fuck Did I Graduate from Harvard, right? I think it was something along those lines. My working title was I Graduated from Harvard. Are you fucking kidding me? It was just going to be a collection of

nonsense. It was under the Atlanta LLC, so it's great. Wait, so how this fucking for grades thing? Who was fucking who? Just let him tell the story. Let him tell the story. He knows what he's thinking. He's brewing it up.

All right, well, I will preface this story by saying I'm going to pretend that Sue Whitney and Carol Lannan are in the room because I was coming up here today, and I've got to stay onside somewhat. I'll tell you the story, but I'm going to just say it with a degree of class. I know my – I have nothing to lose. My mama knows worse about me than this. You have nothing to lose here. Yeah.

This was like early days of the internet. So I graduated Harvard in 2005. So this would have been December 2004, January 2005 that I was creeping around on Craigslist. This was like the beginning of the – Craigslist. Yeah. That's like the dark web. Pretty much it became that, yeah.

So it's like furniture to hand jobs on Craigslist, anything you want. Oh, I know. So I was on the – had to have been the casual encounters section, and I saw this post post and the woman said i am a something two time three time five time marathon runner uh i my husband travels 50 weeks of the year for his job uh i haven't slept with him in however many years and i'm in my sexual prime and i need somebody to crank it out, man. I'd be cranking it out to that Craigslist.

I wouldn't even call it. It's like I started getting squirrely there. So I love how you throw in the marathon runner because at least that proves she's got a good body. You got a good base. So, yeah, it's actually breaking bad marathons on the couch while I eat. Yeah, it's actually Breaking Bad marathons on the couch while I eat. Well, fast forward this story to my senior spring, which was three, four months down the road. And this woman wanted to hang out again.

And I said, I'm swamped. Like, I have this paper and that paper and a test and a final. Yeah, it's just a busy time. And then I thought the light bulb went off. And I thought, you know, a lot of people wonder how they would have done. if i went to harvard would i would i pass what i've done okay and then um i thought well i have a lot of work to do so i can just kill two birds with one stone here and i sent her a proposition saying if you write this paper for me, I'll consider sleeping with you when it's all done. Give me the pipe. Based on, yeah, how it goes.

And three days later, I had a 65-page paper in my inbox. Mikey G's. Shots. Mikey G's. He's got to refocus here. You all right over there, Mikey? That's insane. You give me a B, I'll give you a D.

Basically, that's the hashtag version of this story. Already with the jokes. That was good. We've been buzzing this weekend. We need more live interviews. That was good. Yeah. Everybody's wondering.

I got an A, actually. Everybody's wondering. She got the D. Oh, you got an A on that paper? Well, that's the highlight. One of the highlights of this story is that it was the only A I ever got at Harvard was this married lady from Craigslist wrote my paper for me. The second part of the story that's pretty funny was the Harvard economics professor I submitted it to wanted to consider posting it in the Harvard economics journal. And I'm just like, listen, I'm really shy about my work.

I don't take criticism well. If this goes whatever, public, I can't. They want me to give a lecture about my paper. All of a sudden, what do you call it? The person who gives the speech at the end of the year for the graduating class? The valedictorian? Oh, it's the valedictorian? I wouldn't know. I went to grade 10.

We're the valedictorian, though. Grade 9. So they wanted you to give a lecture on this It hadn't got to that point But they wanted to continue this thing Up the academic ladder And see where it could go It's a published paper It was accounting

So it was an independent economics Independent study they called it Which was a joke because you didn't have to go to class. It was like study on your own. Just hand in that stuff. Hand in that one paper was my deal. So I didn't show up for three months. Three weeks before this was due, I contacted Craigslist KP.

How was she? KP was fantastic. I'll just give initials because that's okay. KP actually, from what I heard, this was not the last paper that she wrote for Harvard players or anybody in the hockey East. Whoa, so she started doing that as a little role of other players?

She kept going. When I graduated, I heard stories of guys who'd come up to me and just give me the Eskimo brothers handshake. Like, hey, I heard about you and KP. She did this, this, and this with my teammates. Went over to BU, I think, and did some essays. That is legendary. Yeah, went over to BU, I think, and did some essays. That is legendary.

Yeah, went over to BU, if I'm correct. The funniest thing is, Landon writes her after, and he's like, are you an economics major? She's like, no, I was just so horny for you. I studied for eight straight days, didn't sleep, figured it all out. She didn't have a clue. I remember saying like-

So you had already slept with her one time. One time. So you gave her the, oh, that, okay, so this is a humble story, humble brag story. Well, it's like- Because already slept with her one time so you gave her the all that okay so this is a humble story uh humble brag story well because he probably gave her the d so good that she would study for eight days write a paper that ended up getting an a i'm not gonna guess he gave her the d so good i'm saying that he probably was just like so much hotter than she ever had she's got some pigeon husband and she's got this guy he probably lasted three seconds and she still wanted another go long way from tea tea with Mrs. McGill, eh?

Just across the road it actually went down because she said if you buy me, the first time we ever met, if you buy me a drink I'll pay for the hotel room. And this was at the Hotel Marlowe where a martini was like 18 bucks. And I'm in college. I could barely afford the drinks.

But she paid for the hotel room. She showed up with whips, boas. She walked in with a duffel bag, like a whole DJ system. She was ready to go. I swear I've never done this before, though. It wasn't three, but it wasn't 30. I've never done this before. Yeah, short tuts.

Should we talk about your playing career at Harvard? That must have been a good time. I did play hockey there, too. You guys won the beanpot one year, did you not? Was that like a trip? Because we never won even a game at the beanpot. Not even the first round. They were the guaranteed, we were the same class. They were guaranteed five o'clock second Monday.

They always were. They never even got to the championship. It's true. I said that because I know you guys had good teams. You and Noel Welch played together there, and you guys both ended up playing games with the Pittsburgh Penguins. So talk about your time at Harvard. I also have to clarify, I did not play a game with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

This is just shocking you. I thought you got – did you get called up one time? I got called up to Pittsburgh and called up to Phoenix. You got called up twice and didn't get a game on either one? Healthy scratch. See, I got a good memory. For like a month, you were in Pittsburgh. I was up with Ryan Stone. We got called up twice and didn't get a game on either one? Healthy scratched. For like a month you were in Pittsburgh. I was up with Ryan Stone. We got called up and this is actually, I was going to plan on telling this story at some point today, so I might as well tell it now.

It's a cautionary tale because I've heard you say in the podcast recently that when you get your call up, that's like your shot. You get one, unless you are are cuckoo cuckoo you you get one shot so my phone call i was lying in my bed in wilkes-barre sunday morning and i had like three four missed calls from todd richards and i wasn't even answering the phone because i did something wrong i figured i did something completely shit face the night before maybe getting sent down to the minors you know what it was like in Wilkes-Barre. And I had been out with Ryan Stone Friday night. I went out with Derek Englund Saturday night.

And Eggo never went out. He's like, Lando, let's go get a couple beers. So I went out with Eggo and his wife. Just so far beyond shit-faced and smashed and stupid drunk that I thought I did something. I thought I drove. I thought I fucking did something. So finally Todd Richards gets a hold of me at noontime. And he's like, you got called off to Pittsburgh. did so i thought it drove i thought i fucking did something so uh finally todd richards gets

a hold of me at like noontime and he's like you got called off to pittsburgh you're like where how come you haven't been answering your phone you got a flight tonight and i'm like clearly i've been playing pretty good in wilkes-barre i go to pittsburgh and that first monday of practice i was absolute dog shit i had like two beers at the airport at 8pm just to try to get the shakes out of my system. Eating chicken wings. I thought that, basically because the college way it was when I was there, you play Friday, Saturday like Warriors.

Saturday night you party like the world's going to end. Like a Viking. We didn't really, a couple beers on Sunday watch Sopranos, play poker. We would have a casual Sunday. Didn't drink Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday because you played on Friday. And that was just the culture. So I kept doing that pro to some degree.

Not all the time. But Wilkes-Barre on Saturday night, like how you're not going to go after a big home win. They let us do anything we wanted to. So anyways, that was the problem. There was no rules for the hockey players. You never had to leave. They drove you home. The waitresses drove your car home.

And another waitress followed her to bring the car back. It was Uber before Uber. Colby Armstrong dared me to drink 13 Jager shots back to back to back one time at the Arena Bar and Grill. And I did it. And I think about eight minutes later, that's when I was like, oh, shit, what have I done? And I don't remember the rest of the night. The waitresses drove me home, and I woke up, and there was a mushroom pizza puke all over my apartment.

That's an arena bar and grill night. That's an arena bar and grill night just to give you guys some perspective. Well, we had a lot of idiots on that team too. I think about my first year. We had four or five absolute beauties from juniors, four or five absolute idiots from college. Thanks. Absolute beauties from juniors, four or five absolute idiots from college. And thanks. I thought for years after I thought about that, all the practices, all the training camps,

all the things, my sacrifices my parents made and the games they drove me to. And when I got my shot, I was not prepared. So are you saying that that practice, so I was there. Yep. That practice you had, were you horrible? Horrible. And you think that, I bet it was Terrian. Terrian knew right away.

That would actually make him, if you're already like Boston kid, college kid, and you come up, I wonder if that must have. Well, Terrian knew me because I went through four months with him. My first year pro, we were 22-0 to start the year. Yeah, remember I started on that team. Yeah, and Terrian knew. pro we were 22 and 0 to start yeah remember i started on that team yeah and terry knew like he at one point told me to look for a housing and wheeling because i was going because he knew i like to party like you think you're a fucking rock star huh you like to drink a party i'm like coach i have a couple beers with the boys but i'm not like just because i uh he's not the tips of my

hair doesn't mean i never frosted my tips i will go i was that is true you won't take that slander i'll i'll clear I'll fact check. No Pittsburgh games, no Beanpot Championships, and I've never dyed my hair. You say you're unprepared. It was like you're disappointing yourself. It happened to be bad luck that it was after a night of going that hard, and a two-day hangover is worse than the Sunday. So it was pretty much bad luck that you happened to be that buckled that day.

Yeah, and even after that practice, Terrian called me into his office because he saw how much I was struggling. Like if I was in Wilkes-Barre, we might have had an optional skate, swatted it out, you know, easy day Tuesday. I think we played like Thursday or Friday. That's the other reason why I went out so hard. And Terrian right away was like, are you out of shape? I'm like, no, I'm, you know, I said, no, just the travel yesterday. And, you know, like a jet lag. It was a two hour and a half flight of jet lag. I think he, you know, like a jet lag. It was a two-hour-and-a-half flight of jet lag.

I think he, I know, because he, whatever. I never addressed him again. I bag-skated for a month. You guys got hot, one eight out of ten, and then that was it. See you later. So that was the year that we were in the house with the bees. Remember the house we rented, me, you, and Noah? Yes.

Oh, my God. We got the biggest dump of a house did you find that or did noah that was i'll blame noah this one i'm not sure it could noah grabbed this lemon of a house for us we went in there we move in it was like just a crack shack and i'm sitting there and like all of a sudden i noticed there's like 10 bees in my room i'm flipping out i'm like what the fuck but they're over there just literally buzzing around like like it was like they were like chilling like the bees were high they were just like i was like what's wrong with these bees why aren't they like coming at me or going away so i started literally just killing them by flicking them like this

they weren't doing anything and they and then i was like this is the fucking house you guys got me this is the house and no i remember noah crying laughing with me describing the bees and and we figured out this house was so ghetto there must have been like co2 in the walls because when they were flying through they were buzzing outside then they'd fly through the cracks in this crack house and then all of a sudden going through whatever air they had to get through getting the house it would like buckle them so then they're just like and i would would just get to kill them with my pinky finger. And you're the reason why bees are going extinct. Yeah, exactly.

But, I mean, either way, that was the type of place we were living in. Noah Welch actually bought a lemon of a car, too. Remember that Mercedes he bought? The old one? The old one. Oh, yeah. The first one. The black one.

It was the V12 with the long body. We've got to get him on to defend that. He was like a 96 SL500, I think. And he was like, this thing's money. I'm like, bro, that thing ain't going to be lasting that long. He might have spent more money trying to fix it in the first six months than he spent buying it. Yeah, he bent over on that.

Let's talk more about the playing career. Then after you kind of bounced around the American League, after spending some time in Wilkes-Barre. Yep. Wilkes-Barre, three years. Then I went, signed with Phoenix. Obviously, ended in San Antonio. I played the whole season in San Antonio.

Got another call up to Phoenix early on in the season. Derek Morris had broken something in his hand. Punching me. And they said, you know, there's a game in Ottawa tomorrow night. You're playing. So get on the thing. And somehow over the course of the day, Derek Morris got like a playing cast. And he was ready to go by the time that I got there.

And he had some like Ironman streak going that he didn't want to break. I remember being up there just for the weekend. Those guys who I know you now work with, the affiliation, Morris, Shane Doan. It was a weekend with these guys. I was like, this is a special group of human beings. Awesome guys. They're just class acts. Was Keith there?

Keith was not there at the time. He was still in the minors. Keith was still 220 pounds. He might have been a junior still. I'm trying to think. That would have been my fourth year pro. He looked like R.A. when he was playing in Phoenix. Keith told me at one point he was 220.

And Brian goes, he was living off the McDonald's dollar menu and he was drinking like a Viking. And then he became serious. And now I think he's like a buck ninety. Yeah, he's... So he was a house. I saw his picture from training camp the one year he was in Phoenix where he had to... Lucy has a fat suit on. It's R.A. R.A. took his fucking picture. That's a shot. camp the one year he was in phoenix where he he had to lose he has a fat suit on it's all right

all right took his fucking picture that's a shot ricochet shot really i just compared you to a uh nhl or he's gonna get a thousand athlete today yeah nhl all-star no big deal i want i want to ask you even though you were health bomb a couple times were you still assigned a number or a jersey from the team like in, in other words, were you able, did you get a jersey from those teams to keep or it never got to that point? No, I stole a bag from Pittsburgh

and a pair of pants from Phoenix. That's it. I got the Gitch bag from Pittsburgh and, yeah, I mean, I went, it's as far as I deserve to go.

I often think I, you know, in the best case in a dream world, I might have been like a poor man's Rob Scuderi or not as tough Mike Motto and squeezed a few games out maybe.

I mean, I think it's one of those things. There's a fine, fine line between the NHL and the AHL, the AHL and the Coast. I mean, it's just a step in a decision-making process. So after a couple weeks, might I have played for a couple seasons? You know, absolutely. And if I hadn't gone out and got shit-faced that Friday and Saturday,

might I have performed better Monday and given the coach the confidence to play me Tuesday? That's a conversation I asked myself for years afterwards. Did you think that weighed on you? It haunted me. I've never told my dad,

still haven't told my dad because I'm so embarrassed that what he did and the sacrifices he made and the opportunity he gave me to go to Harvard to follow my dream and then when my dream was there

and I had to walk through the door, I fucking stumbled through it. Yeah, but now you get a story for spitting shit. Oh, I my dream was there and I had to walk through the door, I fucking stumbled through it. Yeah, but now you get a story for spit and chips. Oh, I have a great story. And I made the, you know, it's not like it's, like, it's just something I guess to, like, players that are out there now that are in my age. If I go back 10 years and say, what advice would I give my 25-year-old self,

my 20-year-old self? Like, if you're in the AHL, you're right there. Like, start eating right. Yeah. Worry about your diet like don't take two months off in the summer and you know like i'm not saying don't drink and don't have a good time but like i don't know like it's right there yeah it's great we've talked about it a bunch like it's you get one chance you get one chance and you actually can just go on and play

for a long time it's wild how that works. And to hear you say that, it's weird for me to hear that you're just like you always kind of struggled with that or did for a while after because you realize how lucky you are to play in the league. At least I always did. But then you hear that. I mean, I kind of even appreciate it even more because it's hard for you to say that. Would have been nice to get a game, you know?

Like you said, just to be able to be with Pittsburgh 10 minutes ago, be like, yeah, put a couple of Pittsburgh. Like it's a nice fraternity to be in. I still have friends that played there and I still, you know, but it's just, yeah, it was probably almost 10 years before I told Paul Vincent last summer when I was working with him on the ice. And he's like a legendary skating coach in New England. And right away, Vinny runs into the room, guys, I got a story to tell you.

And I'm like, whoa, this is like this person. So now it's out there for however many hundreds of thousands of people are going to hear it. But I know my dad and my mom don't hold it against me, but it was something that definitely, for a long time. And now, probably 10 years from now, I'll look back and say, why did you smoke so much weed when you were in your 30s? What was it that allowed you to finally let go? Because I think people do that in life. They hang on to things and regrets and whatever.

What was it that enabled you to finally get past that? Well, I guess ultimately I'm still not past it because I'm talking about it now. So it's, like, still something that I think about. Not often. It doesn't, you know, not. But getting past anything, the defining moment of my 30s up to this point was in one of the probably two or three main reasons for my comeback to hockey. And it ties into forgetting shit from the past that you just don't need to hold against yourself is I do a meditation and a breathing app on my phone. Wow, okay. There we go.

Ten minutes a day. I did it for two weeks when I was coaching in Hong Kong at the time. I had a moment of absolute chaos around me on the subway in Asia, which you can fucking imagine. That haunts me. In the ten minutes of meditation I'd been doing the previous two weeks, I just counted one, counted two, and I was just totally fine in my own space just taking in the chaos

as opposed to letting it rile me up wow yeah so every morning or every night i'm a night guy they say the the key is to do at the same time every day um oh i do it on the ice it's my favorite thing to do is to count while i play hockey what when the ref drops the puck i flex my abs and that's that's my compete. That's my mental trigger that, okay, these next 30 seconds I'm in the zone. And you're counting. And then I start counting and I'm slow inhales, one, slow exhale,

two, slow inhale, three, slow exhale, four. When do you get the puck? Oh, by the time I get to four or five, I'm absolutely panicking thinking about something else. I'm not saying I count high or off. Oh, okay. And I don't always remember to do it, but I've never been scored on when I'm slowing the whole game down with my breath and just.

Holy shit. Interesting, because I will say this, and I know I'm self-deprecating about it, but I would get so much anxiety on the ice because I wouldn't get much ice time. So in an NHL game, I would probably average, no word of a lie, three and a half minutes, maybe even less throughout my NHL. Every shift is so

valuable. So every shift was so valuable and I knew if I was getting scored on known only was I probably not going to see another shift the rest of the game but I was probably coming out of the lineup for a few. No shit. And I had to wait to get my chance again so playing fourth line was very nerve wracking in that regard and I would do breathing

exercises and things like that in order to try to calm myself down on the ice but but like you said a few breaths in and then all of a sudden the puck's on my stick and my heart rate's back up to 200 beats per minute and i think i'm gonna have a jammer all right so okay all right so you're you're retired for a little bit right and then you end up going back and it started in the league in England? It started in the coast, actually. Okay, so that's a better question. You go from the coast to England, right?

You get there. Now that you played in Finland this year, what I don't understand is it seems like you can't go anywhere from the English league. I feel like guys go there and kind of finish it up. Not anymore. It's getting a lot better. All right, is that the case? I would agree with both of you that it's gotten a lot better, but you still can't really go anywhere.

Yeah, but dude, to go to Sweden or Finland, especially Switzerland or KHL, you don't really go from that type league. So how did you pull it off? I just got lucky. Really? It was kind of a shit show in England. I went over there because the team that I was playing for,

they sponsor you with your business degree. Yeah, and they pay for it, right? They pay for your MBA. It's a one-year program. Everything sounded good. My team was like week to week being able to keep the lights on. So it was just a tough. Are they still going?

Since I left Finland before the season ended, they folded in the sense that they announced they're going to be a lower league next year. Are you not going to save the team because you feel bad? I mean, yeah, Milton Keynes, Lightning, it's not. No, it's no secret. They weren't even there when I was in the league. Yeah. I think they were in the lower division at that time.

They tried to come up to the newer division. Did they pay for school? Did they end up paying for it? The school, it's kind of like their sponsorship deal. So the team's not actually, there's no money coming out of their pocket for that. There's not much money coming out of there. I didn't feel comfortable practicing my shot after practice because if I broke a stick, we didn't have extras. Jesus.

There was two sticks in the rack, three if you were lucky, and they had to switch from CCM to another brand because CCM required they buy a minimum order of six sticks at a time, and they couldn't afford it. That's when you've got to think about shutting it down. And I'm not high maintenance. I'm not a prima donna. I can handle a small locker room and one set of laundry. Fuck it.

I'm in England. I'm playing hockey. But it just became, and then it just became to the point where if they just said, hey, we don't have a lot of money. We're going to be doing this thing by the bootstraps this year. Okay, that's a conversation I'm willing to have with you. But they would tell us that they weren't honest people.

So I was looking for any excuse to get out of England probably mid-December. Our coach was, we didn't have a coach in training camp. No coach for the first like two weeks. This is not pro hockey. This is not pro hockey. It's not pro hockey. So then they, you know, thought I was going to be the coach, which Tim Wallace, old Wilkes-Barre guy, Tim and I were willing to kind of run practices

while shit sorted itself out. So is this from the pictures I saw of you in the suits? Yeah, that's when I was, yeah, nursing a concussion, just coaching, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. And we, our best player, our top scorer, left for a rival team two hours up the road because he thought it was such a shit show he wanted to get out of there. And they never replaced him.

They had Tim and I doing scouting, and we were coaches and GMs and all this stuff, and they led us to believe that we could bring a new player in. They couldn't afford the plane ticket to replace our our power like our number one scorer so then the season just got when i said i'm done coaching i'm not going to stand in front of a microphone after a game i'm not on tsn or hockey canada microphone but it's like still it's just literally a guy with his phone and but i still have to this guy is there any youtube clips of you answering questions after game because i will I will get in a rabbit hole of fucking YouTube clips today

if I could hear you talking about Milton and how your team couldn't score on the power play because you fucking lost your score and then couldn't afford a play to get a new one. The thing is, I couldn't say that in good faith to the owner, so I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't say, oh, yeah, we're working. What I had to say was, oh, yeah, we heard we're looking for guys,

and blah, blah, blah. Just give him the cliche answer. What I want to say is, this place is fucked like you guys should ask for your money back because there's not gonna be a team the lady from happy gilmore i left think i left a few voicemail on my agent's phone saying that just get me the fuck out of kp won't answer his emails for papers written for business school over there either you're like this is a disaster so uh is that the craziest story you have from there or is there one where you're you were just like okay this is the final straw uh i got a couple funny stories from over there i can't think of like one definitive moment where i i guess maybe when i stopped coaching that was like mid-december

and i said listen i'm uh you guys don't want to win i'll i'll do the best while i'm here like to the guys credit they played hard and stuff, but it was just one thing after another. Guys right now are messaging me about they're having a tough time getting flights home because there's no money. So you shouldn't. Yeah, but give me a crazy story that you're allowed to and you're not throwing anyone under the bus.

England, they all wear a ton of makeup. Really? A ton of makeup. That's the worst. Like spray painted all wear a ton of makeup. Really? A ton of makeup. It's the worst. Spray painted on and yeah, it's... It's all sabotaging.

What's crazy is I think they're the 13th smartest nation in the world based on analytic data. It's a very smart country. Right? Educated, yeah.

Yeah, very educated. But their dental is so bad. It is crazy. It doesn't make sense. It's like a joke but it's like a legit joke like they all just have summer teeth like on average they're smarter than north america i believe they're they're they're ahead in the education system so how can they just like not have good dentistry oh what else should we get into you asked me a a store a definitive story me a definitive story. I just thought of the moment, I guess, where it's not like some crazy story, but our goalie in Milton Keynes, Patrick Killeen, spent some time in Wheeling in AHL.

This kid was lights out. I think they were like 10 and 40 this year. We wouldn't have won five games if it wasn't for this kid. He was just the best goalie in the league from the beginning of the season to the end probably stopping 45 to 50 shots easily at night like back doors anyways they owed him money for his visa and it was mid-december he said like you promised me three different times you're gonna pay me you told me october you told me november you told me december and they said we'll have your money by the end of this month we'll have your money by the end of

this month and this was with ownership and he said you know this killer said you know that this is like your word right now you're telling me you got two weeks to pay me otherwise i gotta get out of here december 31st comes around sorry we don't have the money and it was telling the truth like come on and that was like you know you get you you try to give them every possible reason to like do the right thing and then they had the money january 2nd after patrick packed up his apartment his wife and kid you know broke down their crib and curtains and like they were ready to go to a different country and then they show up with a suitcase full of money with the kid married with the kid that changed you're just like what

so it wasn't even me like it didn't inconvenience kid. Married with a kid. That changed. You're just like, what? So it wasn't even me. It didn't inconvenience my life that much, but it just irked me and told me the type of people that they were. So are you saying that when he finally was ready to leave, they paid him? Yes. Or he did leave? When he was finally ready to leave, he told all the boys.

They were basically just like, yeah, we're just not going to pay him until he actually is ready to leave. That's what's worse about that. They either had the money and didn't want to pay us or didn't have the money. And I don't know which one is worse. But if they didn't have it the 31st and then he packs everything up and then it's there the second, they had it. So I was like, fuck these people. I'm out of here.

That's some KHL shit. What about quick story? I know we're all over the map, but that's how we do things. Quick story, because I looked at something I wrote down about when you decided to fire some firecrackers at teammates at Harvard. That's a random one. Why don't you tell that story?

I wish Brendan Byrne was here to tell that one. I'm guessing I got those things. They were the Roman candles coming back from a New Hampshire weekend or beach trip. I don't know. But I had Roman candles. Probably against shit face at Harvard. Thought it would be a good idea to light them off. So it started off, I was outside of my dorm room shooting them through the window at everybody partying inside

and for years after they left these like flare marks like on the outside of the window people inside the party thought it was funny then i go outside i start shooting them at the dorm room my buddy comes i think he tells me to stop um gave him a piece of cardboard put it under his t-shirt just to be safe and started shooting them at. He took like six right off the chest. He had holes in his T-shirt and everything. That was a random story. I would never have thought of that in a million years unless you said that. And I was like, I'll shoot you first, and then you shoot me back.

And he didn't know that. I just used them all up on him. He's like, oh, it's my turn. Let me shoot you. I'm like, sorry, we're out of room candles. You get no time. Actually, that was the last one. Sorry about that.

You got any questions, R.A.? Yeah, he went with the National Training and Development Program, Team USA. He went when he was 12. Yeah. He played with actually one of our most popular guests we've had on the show, John Michael Lyles. You got a couple of stories about that handsome fella? Well, no, because you guys were on the same team?

We were at the same school. He was U18. I was U17. But I was a Huron, which is a game-changer as far as that experience goes. Anyways, if I'm being honest, and I am, the first thing I think of when I think of John Michael Lyles is that I went to high school together, Michigan State, and only because I was just listening to the John Hamm interview on the way here, John Hamm's got the way here.

John Hamm's got nothing on John Michael Lyles. Lyles has a rope on him. Yeah, top three ropes I've played with. I was just like, what is that thing? Well, it's funny you bring up the National Development Program because Lennon, for everyone that doesn't know him, when we were 14, 15, even even into 16 you were like the number one prospect in the country i would say at least at 15 because you went out to the national program after our freshman year where you were at st paul's so you were only you were sophomore out

there right i was a sophomore that was too early right uh yeah i think so i mean if i had that crystal ball hindsight i would say go out, if not just senior year to the national program at the time, junior and senior year. Three years was too much of what they were throwing at us. It was also only the second year of that program, so there was still a lot of things they were working out. I was so young, I didn't have a license. So Rick DiPietro was my roommate.

I was dependent on rides from Ricky every day to school, from school to the rink, but he was on a different team than me. Totally different schedule. So it was a nightmare. So you were prepared for Milton? Yeah. My whole life I've been prepared for all this nonsense that comes with living out of a hockey bag. Did you have good billets?

No, no. No? I mean, no. They were never home. Once a week she would have a case of clam chowder and like two cases of chocolate granola bars delivered to the house. She figured because I was from New England, I would eat clam chowder all the time. I was on a steady two-can clam chowder a day diet for probably five months.

You're a central mass guy. Grafton, what a weirdo. Did Boston guys give you shit? Even though if you're in a different part of the country, did Boston guys still give you shit because you're a Central Mass guy? If you're not in Boston, you might as well be in a different part of the country, especially to a 12-year-old from Boston, where I was playing with the Boston Junior Terriers,

and these were my friends from age, I would say, 11 through 15 or 16, AAA hockey, I suppose you'd call it now. And just because I was 45 minutes outside the city, I might as well have been from space. They call it Western Mass. People think it's actually Western Mass. I remember being like, where's he from? When I first heard about it, I was like, what?

What's that? Yeah, a lot of people thought it was Groton. But no, yeah, out near the Worcester area, I had sleepovers with the junior tier. These selfie guys would come out and be like, they're mosquitoes the size of birds. They're hearing crickets all night and not hearing traffic. They didn't know what to do.

No street lights. It actually gets dark. But yeah, suburb. I say suburb of Boston, but probably more suburb of Worcester would be more accurate. I don't mean to bring it away from the Boston talk, but you played in Finland. What was that like? I really like Finland and Finnish people. They are a different breed.

It is cold and dark for six months of the year, and they get by by playing hockey and drinking vodka and going to the sauna. And then it's bright and sunny for six months of the year, and they get by by playing hockey and drinking vodka and probably going to the sauna in the summer too. It's a very simple culture, but the people honest like uh i've had two experiences that i played there eight years ago and then i played there just a couple months ago so um you know as being like even just

mid-20s to mid-30s now sounds weird to say i i remember i remember when i was 18 at harvard there was a guy on our team that was 24 it It took him a couple years to get through school, so he was a little later. And just as a grand morale, he was like a super senior, they called him. Next year, it took him. Liam McCarthy was another one. It took five years. Great guys, but they were 24 when I was 18, and they just seemed like men to me. And then I remember going to that locker room in Wilkes-Barre where we were 22, 23,

and Chris Kelker, Elaine Nazarene. Oh, that's who you think of when thinking of looking like a man with his shirt off. Hey, Kel, you're listening to this. Like Dennis Bonvey, like these guys are fucking old. But they're only 30. But I was 22. And so that was old to me at the time.

And now, I mean, I can't imagine what my teammates think about me being 36. Well, my last couple years in the AHL, it was crazy. And also, remember, there was a culture shift as well. Do you remember when we were young in the Wilkes-Barre locker room? We were coming in every other day with a kill story or an insane story about me knocking out a guy on the street or me getting a Donnybrook at Arena Bar and Grill or whatever it was. Those are the older guys. You get better of a story for us.

Exactly. And then towards the end, there are those, these kids, they don't do anything. They just play Xbox. And I'd be like, you guys gotta be fucking kidding me. I said, you better come in tomorrow.

I don't even care if the story's made up. I didn't care if you get it on Craigslist or Atlanta found his fucking future ex-wife KP to write you your fricking Harvard papers, but just give me something. Yeah. And, and it's just like, I mean,

it's pathetic. The rookie class that we brought into Wilkes-Barre though, where it was you, Carcillo, and Steven Dixon. Dickey, what a guy. Unbelievable. One of the best. Him and Teddy Purcell, their personalities remind me of each other. I wanted to, when I contacted Biss, I said,

we should bring Dickey on because when I was in England, I was going to drive to Cardiff like four hours and get in the same room as Dickey just to hear that kid talk because I love him so much. He's been playing in Europe for close to 10 years, right? A long time. Sweden, KHL, Finland, and now. He's going the other way.

He started in the KHL. He's making like 800 a year. And he's going to be coaching in Milton next year. He's going to have his MBA. He'll have his MBA, Steven Dixon. That's true. That was like plus $25,000 bet when he was 16 years old. Is Dickie going to have an MBA someday?

That's a future. R.A. probably took it. He's like, I got a nickel on it. And then it was me, Welchie, and Andy Schneider on the other side, who was another great. Oh, Schneider. Yeah, Schneider's a piss tank. That kid was a truck.

I remember him at North Dakota, and I was like, what's he going to be like in pro? Running around, killing people, and he could booze. He would a truck. Yes. I remember him at North Dakota, and I was like, what's he going to be like in pro? Running around, killing people, and he could booze. He would gas beers. He would go to this shady little bar right near the Mayflower Crossings, which is where we used to rent our places. With Terrence. Yes.

And get soup. Yeah, this guy named Terrence. And he would get, oh, they got unbelievable soup there, and I just drink. He would drink 20 beers a night, and then he would show up to practice. Have you ever smelt a guy after a night of boozing who stunk more than him? It was fun. You could smell them on the other side of the ice. Like, you know, of course, if you get shit face, you kind of stink like it a little bit

the next day. No, this guy had a scent about him. It was fucking disgusting. So Andy Schneider, if you're listening, I don't know, man. I don't know what planet you're from. I don't know. North Dakota. Mix in a shower.

North Dakota. It's a different planet. Smell like Laverne and Chili after working a double. Yeah, there you go. I met Andy Schneider. I walked into my hotel room in Pittsburgh for training camp. My first training camp, I was with Jordan Stahl, pretty cool roomie to have. And my second one was Andy Schneider.

So I walk into the room with a hockey bag over my shoulder and andy schneider is on the bed in his tighty whities massaging his stomach and i go hey man uh hi cabrini roommate is everything okay and he's just like running his fingers he goes i'm needing it i go what he goes i have to take a poop, and I'm going to need it. And he just was massaging his poop from his stomach into his butt, I guess. What the? Oh, yeah, Andy Schneider's a different guy. Hey, by the way, for you, first training camp, he's with Jordan Stahl. The next year, he was Schneider.

You're like, oh, the organization can't be happy with it. You get an even worse training camp number. He was 54. Now he's 71. Hey, you normally get one day of per diem because you know you're only going to be there for fitness testing and then you're getting sent down to the coast. That was another claim to fame.

Because I didn't play in the show, I've had to look for other reasons to make connections, but I was in the rookie class with Crosby. We went into training camp together, and that was pretty cool, just seeing how that kid works and trains. Oh, that was so sick. Just different level stuff. Like, I think I'm a hard worker, and then I see him,

and I'm like, yeah, I'm not a hard worker. Not to completely change subject, but back to Finland. I have a buddy who plays in Helsinki right now, Brian O'Neill. He plays for the Jokret in the KHL. Great player, great guy. He was very complimentary of the women over there. He said they keep an unbelievable shape, and they're just classy girls. maybe you had a different experience no uh you know i think you

can find classy girls anywhere you can find find trouble anywhere it's uh it's not specific to helsinki or boston or that's just life but there is a beautiful woman up there for sure i mean i find they're either like super blonde and in that arctic look or in i was surprised in finland they have like a lot of dark a lot of goth goth almost hard hard metal music cold dark brown eyes cold you know just brown hair and they look kind of they have that russian like outer exterior angriness to them where they look like they could just fight you at a moment's notice but then you know you get to know them in there they're great um you you mentioned how dark and and uh and and you you didn't use the term depressing but i would imagine it does get depressing being

there in the winter when there's what three or four hours of sunlight a day does that wear on you or did you just kind of mask that with the boozing and having a good time which which they seem to do yeah well the first time i didn't mask it with boozing because i was only there two and a half months and i remember my agent was like listen lano it's two and a half months it's 20 games don't take your shirt off at the bar don't do the splits don't play the air guitar don't be a fucking asshole like everybody in the city is just yeah like all your moves just forget them. Just focus on hockey and play and work your balls off and see what happens. So I did, and I blew the wheels off at the end of the season. The whole team went to Barcelona for a trip.

The team was so happy that we made playoffs. They bought everybody on the team plane tickets and hotel rooms in Barcelona for the weekend just as like a thank you. Unreal. Wow. I heard Barcelona is a time. Yeah, you can get into some trouble there. It's great.

Let's hear about it. We sent 20 Finnish animals there. Well, let's hear about it. I'll never forget the kid's luggage came off of the thing, and it starts spinning around. He just grabs his suitcase off, opens it up, and it's like 100 long drinks. It's like a gin and tonic in a can that they love to drink over in Finland,

and that was all he packed for the weekend. He just starts hammering drinks while waiting for everybody else's luggage. No toffee kit, just a luggage suitcase full of fucking gin and tonics.

I saw a tweet, I think it was that World Spectator Twitter account and they said the Finns are among the happiest people on the planet. They said like, World Index for Happiness

and the Finns, I think they're even like top five happiest people They interview them while They sit like World Index for Happiness and the Finns, I think they're even like top five happiest people They interview them while they're at the bar shit face. That's where you In the summer

when the sun never goes down. The weather, I mean, 100% affects you because I've heard maybe it's Sweden or maybe it's just

a contradictory stat. Probably not, maybe not true but one of those is also the highest Sweden might be the highest. Sweden might be the highest suicide rate, and they're right next door to Finland. But Sweden, you go to Sweden, it looks like those people have it completely figured out.

Everybody's happy and healthy and good looking. This country's kind of perfect. Everything gets fixed right away. Everything's in good shape. That place is great. I feel like Sweden and Finland are pretty similar overall, though. More or less. I think they have the natural sports rivalry. Yeah, exactly.

I got a quick Sweden story. Go ahead. So I actually played my first ever NHL game in Sweden. Nice. And it was against Ottawa for the World Premier Games, and I made Pittsburgh out of training camp. I was over the moon. So when you go there, I think we were there for nine days in Stockholm, Sweden,

my first week in the NHL. I'm like, this is incredible. So we check into the hotel. It's five-star, obviously. And then we have a dinner planned. I believe it was that first night. It might have been the second night. So we go with the whole coaching staff to this awesome place.

We eat. And during the course of the meal, all these dimes start walking in. And I'm like, this place is, I might move here. I might come shut it down and start playing in the Swedish league. After the meal's done, all the coaches get up. They start walking out, and they're kind of patting guys on the way out. And like Yosey, was it Mike Yo? Yep.

Passed me, he's like, have a good time tonight. And I hadn't caught wind of anything that was going on. Well, Hal Gill had reached out to Matt Sundin and arranged a private party for the team and it was upstairs of this restaurant and that's where all those smoke shows were headed. After the meal's done, we walk

upstairs. There's like 25, 9 and 10 out of 10s. My jaw was on the floor. I ended up meeting a girl there. I don't know if you've heard this story. So that was kind of like my experience with Sweden. Basically fell in love with this girl. I obviously, you know, I don't need to go into details.

Well, she kind of started stalking me. She kept calling the hotel that I brought her back to. She shows up at the open practice, buys like world the world premier game merch she's on the glass and every time i was skating by doing loser laps at the start of practice she's banging on the glass so or picking all the boys are having just a field day and terrian was of course the coach even terrian thought it was funny even like even to make terrian laugh something's got to be funny they make me lead stretch and and long story short I had to keep dodging this chick the rest of the weekend. But that was my first NHL experience, and Sweden was a good time.

This chick was a nine, and she was stalking me. I was like, what? Is this how the NHL works? You're not going to be ignored, Paul. We've had you for a long time here. What did you write down? Did you write down anything that you wanted to talk about? When was the first time me and you ever played hockey together?

Boy, that triode. He's got some notes here. I want to know. Tell some stories. I remember our team in Bridgewater. Yeah. We shit pumped everyone. Because we had Billy Tibbetts and Brendan Walsh,

and they were just trying to outdo each other. Nobody wanted to play against us. Our D-Co was sick. They were scoring. They were like, we had me, you, Jeff Gilson, Orpik, and someone else on D. I think it was Welchie. Welchie, I think. Yeah, that was fun.

Or it was the kid from Maine. That was good, too, I'm trying to think. That was actually, that's the funny, Brendan Walsh was, as I understand it. Walsh, he's coming on this at some point. All right, nice. Well, he can confirm... It would be funny to hear him tell his side of this story because he's the reason I got drafted.

I got in a fight with Brendan Walsh at Top Gun in Hingham at the Summer League. I had no idea who Brendan Walsh was. This was a great league. Thursday nights, all college and pro players were around. Yeah, I heard of it. For a while, it was awesome. Now it's in all college and pro players yeah I heard a while it was it was awesome like now it's in uh Foxborough yeah um so I didn't know who Brendan Walsh was I took the

puck away from him he wound up and two-handed me that's Walsh on a Thursday night yeah so I was a senior at Cushing Academy he was a I want to say if not i think he was through college he might have been like being a tough guy in the ahl i slashed him back and we just fought quickly and it was over but neil shea was there who was a scout for pittsburgh who kind of thought i was tough because i was fighting brendan walsh at 9 p.m on a thursday and i if i had known who he was i probably wouldn't slash him back i would just let him have the buck um but Walsh, him and Tibbetts, it was funny just to, you know, you guys know the characters that you meet in this game. And I thought of this, just John Hamm, again, the same podcast.

He mentioned the community that you get from hockey. And I think that's an important thing. Like when I listen to this podcast, I might not know all the players, but the stories resonate and like, you know, you have mutual friends. And I was thinking about that. Like,

why do hockey, why is it such a unique group of people, uh, personalities, you know, I think you really defined, I'm pointing a best for people on the camera who watching this this or listening to this. For anyone listening in their car. BIS with you, when sports and technology, sports and social media became a thing,

you were the first guy to become really... In hockey, in a sport where being an individual and expressing that isn't necessarily favored. Yeah, I was found a bar. I had teammates who were like, what are you doing? I still don't think, and if you weren't in Phoenix, I don't know. No, I wouldn't have got away with it. Think about the way the Dominos got set up. I tried to get claimed by three teams, Toronto, Minnesota, and then Phoenix.

And Phoenix won because they finished the worst of those three teams a year before. Yeah, I mean, they kind of liked it because it gave them a little bit of attention. I mean, mind you, I crossed the line a bunch, and I got called in the office. Just a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. But, yeah, I got fortunate. Yeah.

Well, you know, and we weren't like boys when I was in Wilkes-Barre. I think there was a natural, not tension, but like we were competing for the same job. I was 18 as a defenseman, almost make the team, and all of a sudden the lockout year hit, and then the year after that, I come to training camp. And they signed these two older defensemen out of Harvard. I ended up getting sent to the coast to start my pro career.

And I scored four goals and had two assists in four exhibition games in the AHL before the season started. And then Terry ends up, yeah, you're going out on the coast. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? I'm going to the coast? You're like, wait, what? I'm a fourth-round draft pick. I just let the team in scoring in the preseason. Yeah, and I was fucking pissed.

And then there was this kind of this natural competitiveness against him and Welchie, which, hey, I was an insecure little loser, whatever. It ended up working out. I don't think it's insecure. I think that every team has guys that are competing against each other. That's why I think the teams that practice the best, I mean, it's usually when guys are fighting for lineup spots. And then those teams where you're competing on the ice,

oftentimes you're the closest off the ice too. And I don't know what it is. I think there is something definitely special about the sport of hockey. Whether you play in the NHL or you play men's league or you just like to watch the Bruins, there is something unique. I don't know if this is something that I just believe or something I've heard, but if you get into hockey, you've got a pretty good start in life.

It means you have two parents who are willing to drive you to hockey practice at 4 a.m. and who might have $5,000 to $10,000 of discretionary income to blow on their son's sport. So right off the bat, you're in a good group of people and then your friends and the people you grow up with and play the sport with are similar like-minded like you know they got good families around them and then you know your teammates become your friends and that to me i think is probably why i still play that's because i just love the locker room and meeting new people and it's very rarely do you meet a real asshole in hockey i know there's some dickheads out there don't get me wrong i played i'm not best friends with every guy i've ever played with

but you know i always like there was a mutual respect and a mutual camaraderie there and even though we might not have been super tight in wilkes-barre i've always liked him and oh no we got to a point where we were buddies. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, there was that time pass. But there was that natural kind of like eyeing each other up. And I think it's crazy that he was in Wheeling and I was in Wilkes-Barre. Like that to me just – Yeah, that to me, like what's going on here?

And then he came up like a savage. You must give a hell of a blowjob. You must have just – When Crosby made the team in Pittsburgh and I did – Oh, yeah, you didn't think he was going to make that team? I thought it was more of a political decision, you know. For a while I just told myself it's all who you know't think he was going to make that team? I thought it was more of a political decision, you know. For a while, I just told myself it's all who you know.

And then I watched a couple of Pittsburgh games. I realized he was a little better than me. The rest is history. And you played different positions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you got for written down stories? Any good ones?

This one, just because my NHL stories are limited to practices and plane trips. You'll remember, this was the one I was thinking about. Remember we had a preseason game. We were going to Montreal with Pittsburgh and on the flight. We're on the plane. I saw wit. Do we need to have passports for this trip?

Oh my God. And you said that. And I was like, oh shit. I had to go up to the plane and tell Terry and I didn't bring my passport. And we're like flying. We're 30,000 feet over the Canadian border. But I just assumed it was like a team trip, private jet. I thought we were going to get a helicopter to the game.

I wasn't planning on going through customs. Oh, I was panicking about a good 20 minutes. I had real pit stains going on that flight. So how did you get in? Well, they end up fixing it. I mean, if something like that happens, what are you going to do at that point? The hockey operations guy just told the customs person i'm an asshole and and they let me through how long after that were you sent down yeah within a that was no that that was the jot

down of next camp i'm going to be with schneid yeah they just left me up there well dude uh we thank you man this has been fun i mean there's been uh a lot of times we were hanging out a lot and just you end up getting older and fuck fuck, I haven't seen you in forever. But, dude, thanks first off for listening. I think it's so cool when friends of mine from growing up listen and enjoy the show. And then I'm pumped you came in. Anytime we hang, I know it's going to be fun. I remember you freestyle rapping at the draft party I had.

That was the highlight of the draft party. I went and rapped for about five minutes with my friends. I paid for that. It was hysterical. He used to do that quite a bit back then. Talk about being in it. He's a wordsmith. Now, before we let you go, I am in town for another couple nights here.

You still got KP's number? Hotel Marlowe. You've got to buy the drinks, though. Alright. Let's get a Biz20 promo code on those. I want to quickly say to you Whit I got a huge love of respect for you when you

went to Russia but when you survived Russia when I heard you were playing in Russia I was telling people this kid will not last till Christmas I think that I was

I was for people that like you know I'm friends with I was probably the number one oh he's going to Russia he'll be back in two weeks yeah and and that's why I pretty much I was like i'm not leaving basically because of that i can't

leave because that's everyone's saying i'll be right it was a sign of your like you know we're all uh growing developing as players and people but to me that was one thing where i was like oh wit is like i mean he just survived russia for years the tip of the cap and just something that you would not have done years before. I wasn't humbled yet. I wasn't humbled yet. I got humbled by the game. Love it.

All right, buddy. Thanks for coming, Lionel. Thanks a lot, brother. This interview is also brought to you by Roman. Two-thirds of guys experience noticeable hair loss by the age of 35. How are you? Most guys assume losing their hair is inevitable as they age. Some don't care and shave their melon.

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Crazy story, so I hope you all enjoyed that. And we still got, what, four more serious guys to chat about. The first round, the wild first round. I think we can go over to Carolina, who in an enormous win in Game 3, back at home, get back into the series, and we saw the different side of Alexander the Animal Ovechkin because holy shit did Shvetchnikov knock on the wrong door.

Poof. That was the entirety of the hockey world was talking about that Monday night. Alexander Ovechkin, if you somehow missed it, he not only dropped the gloves with the Canes 19-year-old rookie, he dropped the Canes 19-year-old rookie with a fucking straight right, right to the face. Actually, two of them KO'd him. I guess the rookie barked up the tree. I mean, they obviously were chatting a little before.

It wasn't like he jumped them. I think a lot of people get scared when they see a guy get knocked out. I don't know, Biz, do you think people overreact when they see a guy get knocked out a little bit, or is it just? Well, it wakes up the side that have been barking to eliminate fighting and hockey so it's just like every time something uh um you know catastrophic is that a word yes yeah it is well well well to them anytime a person gets knocked out and especially at the fact that some people went even more off the deep end by saying that he purposely shoved his head into the ice which was fucking bullshit and i

believe it was the one of the canes announcers said it and if clearly that person who said it has never been in a fight and if they have i'll be shocked because he slowed down he yes he punched him with his hand a little bit on the way down by by that point your brain hasn't registered that the fight's over like that happened like an instinct i've been in that situation like probably 10 times on both sides of it where i've received one late and and i knew because i'd done it before that it wasn't intentional i knew if the guy gave me a shot when i was down if it was a shot when i was actually down so that ain't the case yeah and and and the fact that you would even consider ovechkin to have done that watching that even in slow-mo is is banana lance to me so there's

your banana lance count at one tonight um and and it sucks because he was a younger guy and i would imagine a guy that looked up to ovi but he was was the type of guy, and why I love Shveshnikov, is that how you say it? Shveshnikov. Shveshnikov. Shveshnikov. He's been going at Ovi all series a little bit, and specifically on that play, he was easily the antagonist.

I believe he gave him a little whack, then he gave him a bump, and then he stared him down. And by that point, Ovi was looking at him at him like dude are you fucking asking for one and sure shit he gave him the look back like i'm not saying i'm not asking for one and then it was the eject button and then we know the rest is history but uh i i i love brendan moore and i loved how he handled the referee situation wasn't necessarily crazy how he handled this situation based off all the evidence. And he just seems like a pretty level-headed guy. But what an unbelievable response by the Carolina Hurricanes

in front of a crowd that was hungry for a playoff game, and they brought the noise, and what a response by the boys. Yeah, and think about game two when Orpik scores I mean Carolina can win that game Carolina could be easily up in this series they've played great I think Washington's realizing all right we're we're um we're very lucky to be sitting two two one up in this series so that should be a really good one tonight for everyone listening on Thursday I the the question I have is can if Washington picks it up, can Carolina match that? I think Carolina's played really good.

If Washington actually gets going as good as they can, I don't know if they could handle them. But still, it remains to be seen if Washington will be able to elevate their game because right now it's looked really even, if not lopsided, in Carolina's favor. Yeah, ironically, it was the Hurricanes who seemed to get the emotional bump from that fight. Usually the team, you know, the guy who wins the fight gets the bump,

but it was the Canes. Their guy got KO'd, and they kind of rallied around him. They just kind of played their stifling Team D. It was also the first playoff game in Raleigh in 10 years. I thought the crowd really responded. They were really loud. They seemed to really give the team an emotional lift out there. Safe to say, hockey's been rejuvenated in the Carolinas.

Hopefully they'll keep it going because they've got a good squad down there. They've been horny for playoff hockey biz, and Tuesday they got a nut, right, biz? Hey, Dougie. I don't know, man. When you look at me through the Zoom lens and say nut, I don't know. It just doesn't do it for me, buddy. Dude, Peter Mrazik, he's got five career playoff wins

and four of the wins are shutouts, dude. No way. Yeah, that's a crazy stand-up. Dude, one other thing, too, Svechnikov's older brother, Evgeny, he's the product of the Red Wings. Oh, Jesus. He posted a song lyric from A Nightmare on Elm Street, that one, two, Freddy's coming for you.

But people didn't know if he was threatening Ovechkin or if he was trying to say his brother got knocked out and he was sleeping because that's like a song from when you're fucking sleeping could i do you know what he meant like by posting the night i really hope he's not giving it to his brother for getting put to sleep in the playoff well and i also hope he's not chirping ovi because ovi's got snipers on the roof man come on you know yeah they're both russian ovi's like you're coming at me? Yeah.

One guy's boys with Putin and has a special cell phone, and his credit cards when they go to the mega clubs get picked up by Putin. I know who ain't winning that one. Come on. How about going into game three, though? The Hurricanes were just dominating. five-on-five play. They were out-chancing the Caps 102-62, or out-attempting, I should say. So that was before the slacking they gave them in game three.

So, yeah, that's going to be a good one, and Washington better get it going. Absolutely. Like you said, that series resumes tonight, Thursday, 7 o'clock in Raleigh, and I think it's going the distance. I still do. Next series we're going to take a look at, Boston-Toronto. Bruins just tied up a little while ago after a lackluster showing in Game 3. The Bruins woke up tonight, Wednesday.

6-4 win. They had to sweat it out. I don't think Rass was great tonight. Toronto lost to the Zen Kadri for the rest of the series for that foolish hit he had. How did you see this one playing out tonight? Did you think the Bees looked – I mean, they didn't look great, but they kind of still ended up winning the game despite not playing their best. They did what they needed to do, and what a game.

For watching-wise, I mean, fan-wise, that was as exciting as it gets. Great playoff hockey. Very interesting to see what's happened in this series. It's been, you know, game one, Toronto comes out great. Bruins are flat. Game two, they're flying. Same thing happens in game three. Game four, Bruins came out really good out of the gates.

And Pashinok, who had struggled. The whole line had struggled a little bit, and they needed more out of them. Well, he played about three minutes, I think, maybe four minutes. Not a lot in the first period. A little amount enough to where you're saying, all right, well, he's kind of being sat right now, I think.

Then he comes out and he gets two in the first period, in the first, what, eight minutes of the second period? So to get him going, that's enormous. To wake him up, how good he can be. But Matthews gets two tonight, so he's feeling it now since the stick change. Tough day for Bauer, eh? I mean, all of a sudden Warrior comes bombing in, and Matthews has a Warrior stick, and he's scoring with it.

So that's how the games are played. It was funny. They were asking Pasternak about Matthews switching his stick. He's like, this is what you guys talk about in Canada. There was like 25 reporters sitting in there. He's like, this is what you guys talk about in Canada. There was like 25 reporters sitting there. He's like, oh, yeah, where's the Gucci star? You're talking about his hockey stick in the news? What the fuck?

But great series. I mean, fun to watch. I think it's going seven. It makes sense that it would. But, man, Boston, even though they get the win tonight, they got to think we got a lot more left to give here because that game they win at 6-4, but they never even really felt like they had complete control.

Even when they were up 2-0 and 4-2, it was like right after they got those two goal leads, Toronto came flying back to dominate the pace of play. So it's like you want to get a lead and then completely build on it and outplay your opponent. They were like on their heels immediately after scoring a couple goals. So game five should be wild. Yeah, that's the first time in a long time I've seen Boston vulnerable

like that where they've been on their heels. Most of the year what made them so impressive is how they were able to close out games. And they went up 5-2 late in that third period. I think that – sorry, midway in that third period i think that uh sorry midway through this uh third period excuse me and once they took that penalty and gave up that goal that made it five on three or five to three excuse me they were like they were shitting their pants and then toronto got a quick one and um i will say though late late in that game they did finally uh

in the last two minutes, they did a pretty good job allowing Toronto not to get complete control over the line. Charo was a beast in game four. His average shift length was about a minute. Did he end up getting credit for that goal? Yeah, he did get that, Biz. And a couple moments in the series,

the games looked a little quick for him, but tonight he looked great. Even on his goal, he had the poise to look up and realize he had time. I actually, when I was in Toronto the day I was leaving, I ran into him. Yesterday, actually. Well, now it's coming out. It was two days ago because this drops on Thursday. We're recording on Wednesday.

I went to eat at some healthy restaurant, and you guys know how healthy he is and how well he takes care of his body off the ice sure as shit he walks in the same restaurant and and i was like hey man how you doing he's like great he he he didn't look phased at all he didn't he didn't seem down about the fact that the team was down 2-1 just had a smile on his face went and got his food and and and ate it and and and that was that so it was good to run into him and that that's when i was kind of like oh shit these guys are these guys are used to this and are pretty battle-tested.

And, you know, they end up tying this series off. Now, I want to go back a little bit. Some people were irritated by my Codry comment about the fact that I said at that point in the series I thought that he was the best Toronto Maple Leaf. I know that Marner produced some offense in game one, but I based that decision on a lot of things. And as I said, next to Anderson, because Anderson's been great. You know, he was making plays.

He was providing offense. He was physical. And to me, he was emotionally invested. So with everything combined, that's why I thought it was such a significant loss for Toronto and why I thought they were going to have a hard time to regroup. Because Marleau can't pay third line center. And right now they have Nylander slotted there who's just not feeling it. And I don't want to beat a dead horse because I feel bad for the kid.

And when I knew he really doesn't have it in the series was tonight in that second period when they were pressing and they had Boston on the ropes. It was late in the second period. He gets changed for. So, like, somebody came off the ice and he jeps on jumps on fresh he gets the puck as soon as he gets in the offensive zone because they're already buzzing so boston's players have been out there a minute they're tired and he pulls up as if he's missed about to make a play and he like just like kind of skids out

and loses an edge and then he's scrambling to grab that puck and all of a sudden it's no longer a clean possession boston ends up breaking up the play like three seconds later where the cameras are right i remember yeah against the wall where i'm like fuck man i'm gonna stop i'm gonna stop getting on this kid because i feel like he doesn't have much confidence right now i hope i give him the chicklets bump but uh to me that that was a big loss and and although they had an unbelievable bounce back game uh in game three i was critical of babcock a little bit not just saying i'd like to see some more from them made a great shift change they ended up getting the game winner off that line change you made uh it just seems like

the boys were invested the whole lineup was was ready to go so this is uh this is going to be an interesting last three games i would still remain confident with Toronto in seven. And, of course, Austin Matthews, as you mentioned, that's one guy that needed to step up for them if they even had a chicken-dicks chance in hell at this one. And three goals in the last two games, very impressive. And McAvoy, too. That first period, sick goal.

And then that dish to Marchand was filthy. So having him step up looks great for the Bruins. It's going seven. I mean, there's no way it doesn't go seven, and it should be fun to watch. The other Charlie's been pretty outstanding for the Bruins as well with Charlie Coyle. I mean, this is the guy that, you know, what's his face? Don Sweeney. Shut up, Weymouth.

Yeah, that Sweeney was getting back at the trade deadline. He's been outstanding. Probably the best forward for the Bruins so far this year. And one guy we haven't mentioned is Andreas Janssen. Is that how you say his name? Am I right? Oh, man. He ended up having the eventual game winner in game three.

And of all Leafs forwards, he's averaging right now. This is after game three. I don't know what the updated stat based on game four was, but he was playing two minutes over what he was averaging in the regular season. So this guy is a horse. And actually a lot of the forwards for Toronto, the high-end guys, are averaging significant more time than they were in regular season. One of Babcock's criticism was in the regular season

is that he didn't play as stars enough. He would always like – they're like, come on, give us 20 minutes of Matthews. He can handle it. Matthews is second next to Jansen with – he's playing over a minute and a half more than what he was averaging in regular season. And it's nice to see that that has probably helped these guys out by maintaining all that energy over the course of the season to now it's nice to see that that has probably helped these guys out by maintaining all that energy over the course of the season

to now it's like, okay, it's time to ramp it up. All right, give it to me now. They're not burnt out. Maybe, I mean, that's an example for the Tampa Bay Lightning. Maybe they burnt those guys out too much. And Marner gets a couple extra bucks for ending game three in the most heroic fashion. Absolutely.

Those block shots. All right. All right. It's got to run. We got a couple more series to get to, but yeah, I got to screw on. Yeah,

buddy. We'll we'll talk to you on what is tonight. We'll talk to you Sunday. Yeah, I'll be going to game five reporting live. I actually a couple of quick stories before I go. Elaine Vigneault went to Philly, the Kingside McClellan and the Selkie finalist.

In addition to stone, they also got Ryan O'Reilly and Patrice Bergeron. So I'll end on the news note. Everybody have a great weekend. We'll talk to you soon. Guys, quickly, before we go any farther, I want to talk to you about Duke Cannon. There's many options out there in grooming, but there's one brand that caters more to the grinders among us, the Grinellis, the people that are out there grinding day after day, the guys that are willing to go into the corners and get the puck out.

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first order. dukecannon.com. Get there now. Promo code hockey to receive 15 off your first order dukecanon.com get there now promo code hockey and uh just as i was about to finish off johansson with the or sorry johansson andres johnson that's a tough that's a tough one to say i i i can't say it i say what you just said every time yeah so it's kind of like how i said lindstrom instead of lindstrom yeah it's funny you i noticed that but i didn't correct you oh man i've been getting dummied online over that one that's what i should know because he's all a famer great one of the greatest defense of all time but uh andreas johnson uh this season he became only the 14th seventh rounder to score 20 plus goals as a rookie

i mentioned that one when he'd done it and only only Palat, Svatos, and Zetterberg have done it since 1993. So he's one of those guys that they snuck out late. A diamond in the rough, they call it. A diamond in the rough. So that's all I have to say about that series. Should be very, very interesting. Game three. Three games left.

Another series that is out west that I'm actually watching right now. Actually the first period just finish up here, but it's Colorado and the Calgary flames and Holy shit. Nathan McKinnon. Are you fisting me with this guy? He is dominating games. Like very few players ever have. Every time he gets the puck, he dangles through the ice.

Ray Ferraro talked about how he skates the stick handling the entire time, not pushing it. But just skating through guys, his release, what he's done has been incredible. And the whole team in Colorado, I mean, Cal McCarr comes in, he scores the first period of his first game. So everything's buzzing right now. And I just think McKinnon right now is at this level where nobody's matching it.

So they're looking at Goudreau versus him. Goudreau hasn't scored in this series. McKinnon has three. Well, forget that. I mean, he's outplayed everyone in the league. So it's hard being the other team's superstar going up against McKinnon when he's at a level like this that I've never really seen before. And he's done a lot in the playoffs, I feel like.

Every time he's in the games in the spring, he's flying around like this, going shelf, just making a mockery of defenders. Well, first things first, going back to McKinnon, he's the only reason they're in playoffs. And usually when that happens, well, because we know that Lannis Gog went down with injury and then Rantanen did. And come on, man, that's a first top-line heavy team where if that first line ain't going majority of the season,

they're not making playoffs. And usually you're out of energy by the time you say, hey, hop on, boys, and you get them there. This guy's, once again, taking it to another level. And it goes back to last podcast with Ray Ferraro. I said, this guy has to be number two next to McDavid, right? And obviously, to me, the way he's playing right now tells me everything I need to know.

He's right behind McDavid. And if he can keep doing this and sustain this for a nice little run that they go on, which, mind you, Calgary was the perfect matchup for them. That was perfect. I mean, I'm not saying Calgary was the perfect matchup for them. That was perfect. I mean, I'm not saying Calgary's not going to win this series, but to me, Calgary's a nice transition team. I like Calgary because they're a little bit beefier

and they play that hard physical game, but Colorado ain't backing down, and their role players are kind of starting to poke their heads out and battle back as well. And I tell you, man, I don't know. I don't feel good for Calgary at all. And the addition of Cal McCarr, that just kind of gave them an extra little level of energy,

especially at home. It seemed like they were not going to lose that hockey game. And how about the week for Cal McCarr? And then you got the Hobie Baker as well, correct? Yeah, Hobie Baker Friday, loses the national title Saturday, signs Sunday, and plays in the game Monday. And snipes. Pretty cool.

His parents were there. You see them hugging right away. That's always, you know, that tugs at the heartstring, especially being a parent myself. I'll say this is a must-win so overused. I hate how I always say that. It's not a must win because they're not facing elimination, but it feels like a must win in the game I'm watching. By the way, McKinnon just played

eight and a half minutes in the first period, just flying around on pace for 25. You shit me, not a big deal. But you got to win the game because 3-1 series, 3-1 series, I was shocked by this. 91% biz of 3-1 series, 3-1 series, I was shocked by this. 91% of 3-1 series, the team that's up 3-1 wins. I thought it might be like 70, 75, 91.

91 out of every 100, you ain't coming back. So Colorado, if they can get this other game at home, heading back to Calgary up 3-1, look out for them to move on. Well, and let's not forget too everybody's main concern about this one was Smith and I think that he's been just fine. No he hasn't been an issue at all. They gave up I mean they gave

up what 56 shots in game three so they just got offensively dominated and the game before that he kept a minute he kept a minute game one he had a shut, and even in this first period in game four, he's got 15 saves on 15 shots. So Calgary, they just got to ramp it up another level.

I mean, there was a period of time there in the second half of the season where they weren't playing well, and then finally towards the end of the season, they're like, okay, and they started ramping it up. But I don't know. there's something missing right now and and you know if calgary goes down the fact that we could have both number one seeds gone in the first round that ain't fucking happening in the nba do you think that's actually good or bad biz for the league that like the number one seeds can lose in the first round like i think it's incredible i think it's great but do you think there's fans who are like oh no you want to know that the best

teams are going to be moving on like no yeah all right it separates our our playoffs from every every other sport yeah whereas like even football like okay the first top teams they get a bye week which is huge in football you know know, more guys are getting rest. And then they're playing at home, which is such another advantage. And you have an extra week of preparation for that crappier team. That's why it's so unlikely. Now, saying that, football's great playoffs. But, like, NBA, it's a joke, man.

This playoffs has been the anti-tummy sticks tour. This has been pure hatred, pure adrenaline. Do you ever see a sport where a light switch? It's been a week, man. The minute that light switch went on for playoffs, everybody went mental. Game on. The world's going to end in the first week of playoffs, man. There's 10 storylines in every series, man.

It's fucking crazy so um i tell you right now i'm not confident with my calgary pick and if i could change it i would change it to colorado they have all the momentum in the world and it's going to take a lot to convince me otherwise but if calgary wins i mean they're tied after one then they're going home with two out of the three games at home so it's it's i'm not ready to say that until after this game last series, that just an absolute dummy tonight, probably in my opinion, the most even series in the NHL right now is Dallas Nashville, two teams that seem to just be so evenly matched up that every game it's the

goaltending and, and Ben Bishop with an incredible regular season. He had a real tough one in game three. Bound to happen, but he bounces back tonight. And Dallas puts a complete whooping. Sorry, tonight. This is Wednesday. Dallas puts a complete whooping on Nashville to tie this series up. So you look around and you look at Nashville's got some guys out.

Simmons is out. Brian Boyle is out. They brought in the Rocco Grimaldi kid who's like 5'3", I think. He's tiny. So the exact opposite of Boyle, but he's played well. But Nashville tonight just got it taken to him. And Zuccarello scored a huge goal tonight. What a pickup.

You forget the dominant first period he had, and then he broke his fucking arm in the first game of the year after the first game getting traded as a Dallas star. Well, he's come back and looked great. The crowd loves him. How can you not? He's skating around with a stick taller than himself. Sagan, Ben, good efforts.

This Rupe Hintz, don't know anything about him besides he's completely sniped tonight. It's a fun series. I wouldn't say it's the most exciting series out there because both teams are really good defensively. We've talked about Dallas getting to that next level by not playing run or gun. So I think you saw a lot of goals tonight,

and you have seen a good amount of goals, but it seems like it's definitely not run and gun hockey. But back and forth, and I think both teams are so evenly matched. We're looking at another series that probably goes seven. Yeah, there's another pick that I might not necessarily be as confident in, especially after that last game, but I have Nashville winning in this series. Home ice is going to play a huge advantage going back for game five, which to me, that's it.

Whoever wins that one is going to win the series, and I'm a tad bit surprised at how good Dallas has been in playoffs. I thought that Nashville was going to ramp it up, having all that experience for all these, what, two, three years now. They've been able to win some rounds and know what that pace is like. It's been some time for Dallas, and they look great. As you mentioned, that Zuccarello pickup helps take a little bit of pressure off the other big boys, the top three, Radulov, Ben, and Sagan,

where all of a sudden they got other options. And some of them might be getting better line matches, certain shifts. And the fact that there's been no hiccups for Heskinen has helped. That's great. Well, now they got a great one-two punch offensively with the back end and Klingberg and him. And Klingberg's another guy who put up three assists in game four. And Lindell.

Lindell had three assists tonight. Yeah. So there's another guy. I mean, it's very interesting. And P.K. Subban, to me, I mentioned it last pod as well. He's been very impressive in the first four games. He usually ramps it up in playoffs. So very impressed with what he's brought so far

and very interested to see how Game 5 goes. Well, crazy first round so far. Grinnell, what do you got, buddy? Well, I was just going to say, guys, we have a little bet on the table for the rough and rowdy fight come Friday. Oh, yeah. I would like to let our listeners know that come Friday, we have a,

we have a fight. It's, um, I have the, my fighter's name is the battering Ram, who is five sticks. One, you guys is you guys is a fighter is the bulldozer who is six feet,

one 70. Uh, so the bet that we have is if the battering ram wins in the rough and rowdy taking place in West Virginia, that I will have to be each of your servants for a full 24 hours. That includes anything you guys. That's like every other day for me. Exactly.

I'm calling this guy 20 times a day for shit. You can caddy for me. Yeah. And then if you guys win, I have to, or no, if I win, you guys have to be my caddy for me. Yeah, and then if you guys win, I have to – or, no, if I win, you guys have to be my caddy. Oh, caddy. Well, Witt can be your caddy. I won't even know what club to give you.

Yeah, I mean – You think I'm reading putts? Seven iron, huh? Well, you're fired. Oh, yeah. I thought R.A. was the movie reference guy. I think it's five iron. I got the iron wrong, but I knew the premise of the joke.

Yeah, that was Tin Cup. What a movie. No, it was Shooter McGavin. Oh, fuck. Well, there you go. That tells you why I'm not the movie guy. Maybe it was Tin Cup. No, I don't think.

I think it was Happy Gilmore. It is. Chances are there was a scene in both of them that were similar. It is a golf movie. Anything else funny happen to you recently? What else happened? No, nothing's really happened that funny with me at all. I had that trip with the boys to Pinehurst.

It was unbelievable. Oh, so you never found the caddy? No, never. Went back the next day. People were like, oh, he's out on the loop. Kid's a complete goon. He knew I was there. He could have found me.

You know where to come find me. Do we have an update on the Riggs versus Whitney golf match? No, I got no update on anything. I wait until they tell me at old Barstool headquarters what's going on and what will be the deal. I don't know when it's going to happen. I actually saw that the Barstool Golf League, they started. Pretty good idea right there.

Have you thought about entering? I see they're playing at Walson. I can't. I can't. I'm out of town the third day they're there. I talked to them before. Unfortunately, I won't be in that one. But it would have been unfair to come in and steal the prize.

Let somebody else be the heroes that day. So, also, oh, I saw, you know what was funny is today is I got people coming at me at all ankles. I got Islanders fans. I got who else? And then and then Varely's going nuts. And then I got Savard. Savard from the clouds. Hey, listen, Savard.

I got to dust this cross-eyed fuck Bozo first. I'm going to clown him. And then you're coming at me dude i never said a word about playing savard in golf he just wants in on the action he wants a piece of the wit he's coming at me for no goddamn reason chirp me being a four handicap savard's a plus two apparently you know how good that is well i pulled up some old scores of his entering some canadian tour events that don't look too pretty. Scores like 82, scores like 85, scores like I shoot when I enter stroke play events.

That's why I'm a four handicap, Savard, not a plus two, you fuck. So he's writing me back, oh, my first event had the nerves. Well, you're coming at me, Savard, so you're tripping my four handicap with your plus two. Don't be throwing up 86s and shooting 11s on par fives as a plus two handicap. I've seen true plus two handicaps. Those are the guys that win the mid-am and go to the Masters like Matt Parziale. That's a true plus two, plus three.

So Savard and I will do something. I've got to dust rigs, and then I'll do my best against you. But you came at me first. So don't come at someone and then chirp their handicap. It wasn't like I said shit to you, Savard. Hey, so what would be your worst round of the summer? Like if you shot an 84, would you be throwing clubs and stuff? I'd be pissed, but it could easily happen.

Okay, so once a summer, will you put up an 84? No, I mean, well, like if I'm playing stroke play, which I don't unless I'm playing in a tournament, that is where you can make like a 10 on a par four, right? That's when you get an 84. If I'm playing with my buddies, right, you're just like, hey, give me a double. If you don't end up getting in the hole and really grinding over like a nine, if you were in a tournament that you'd have to grind over.

I can shoot 84 in my sleep, bro. Okay, so stroke play means like you don't just like if it's a triple, you'd have to grind over i can shoot 84 in my sleep okay so stroke play play means like you don't just like if it's a triple you're saying just pick it up that means you have to put the ball in the hole you're not going to the next t until you get that ball in the hole oh okay so if you're with your buddies right like you hit one out of bounds then you hit one in the fairway and you put it on the green or then you miss the green then you're chipping your your your fifth shot and then like you fuck up that chip it's like dude just give me a double you know what i mean that's literally me golfing yeah i just i just stay in

the car the whole time yeah i'm just sitting around today and hey savart yeah just give me another pink whitney hey mark you know you want to talk careers your career shit on my career i'm a joke to you in hockey. But now I got the chicklets army behind my back. And if you're going to come at me chirping me for being a four handicap from the clouds for no reason, I'm going to have a bunch of people coming at you. And you say, come up to Canada and play me.

Why don't you come down to Boston and play me? You want to wave the flag here. I saw him tweeting. If you can wave the flag at the Bruins, come on down and play me some golf here too. Wow, this is interesting. I couldn't believe that though. I'm driving a jersey.

I got all angles coming at me. All of a sudden, I got Savard coming at me. Was he known to be a good chirper in the locker room? Usually the skilled guys don't really bark that much. It's like chirping someone for being a four handicap, that's probably better than 90% of the people playing golf. Being a four handicap is pretty fucking good. That means I was top 99.9% in hockey, and I'm top 90% in golf.

That averages out to about 95 if I'm being the correct math guy I am. Pretty fucking good for wit, no? Yeah, no, it's really good. Fuck you. Yeah, no? Samar, fuck you. Yeah, no, wow. So that's interesting. Maybe we'll have to get another match going. I've actually already talked to him. We're going to do

post-Bozo dusting by me. We're going to set something up. I actually don't know if it's Boston or Toronto, but we're going to have it filmed, and we're going to create the same type of content as the match I do with Bozo. I don't have anything entertaining to talk about unless you guys have any questions for me.

Any work benches in Toronto? That wraps things up here. It was a good week with Toronto. I was great seeing my folks and hey, who knows? Maybe I'll need a Z-Pack when I get back. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, everybody. See you, fellas.

Here's a little song I wrote. You might want to sing it note for note. Don't worry. Be happy. In every life we have some trouble But when you worry you make it double Don't worry Be happy Don't worry

Be happy now Thank you.