Spooked - Always Be Polite

Episode Date: April 21, 2023

John Henson, a Southern Cheyenne Native American, is the go-to person when friends and family need their homes smoked off. But when he encounters a stubborn and angry cat-like entity, he has to dig deeper than ever before — all while being polite. For Spooked, and for the first time for a non-native audience, John shares his story. Episodes now drop every week on Friday! Featuring brand new stories -- along with episodes previously available only by subscription. Listen for free on any podcast platform. Be afraid. Thanks so much to John Henson for sharing your story with us. Original score by Leon Morimoto, produced by Chris Hambrick + Anne Ford, artwork by Teo Ducot Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jack Spratt was big and fat. His wife was Emerald Green. The people laugh when they went out. They always caused the scene. But Jack Spratt said, Who you looking at? I'm married to a queen. His wife whispered back to Big Jack Spratt.

I like some fat, not lean. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Mr. Spooked, say. Okay, so you got to understand. I'm like 14, 15 sitting in the kitchen, reading the book. Mama's sitting right next to me so she knows I'm innocent. We both hear the holler, the crash, the explosion from downstairs.

I smile because somebody's fixing to get a beating that is not me. I run down the stairs after my mama and witness the whole carnage. Calamity. Like the aftermath of a bomb, sliding glass door, fragments. My brother in the living room still on his bicycle atop a sea of broken glass and wreckage and wrong choices. His little friends outside trying to feed a scene around their ramp. I tell you about jumping on that bike. What I tell you? Almost. Almost feel sorry for him. I just know he better play it so he gets his beating now, right now, from her. But this calamity

is too much. The wreckage's too vast. My mama says the dreaded words. Wait till your father gets home. No. Oh no. Oh, Lord. Death warrant. Sign. Future over. Anything's better than waiting for the punisher. My father to return

with fury and righteous anger. Beg. Plead. Gravel. Do whatever you got to do. But do it right now. He turns to my mama. looks her dead in the eye and smiles.

It's funny, huh? You just time for chuckling? That's when he says. She's sick at a homiegeragga. What? Grins back at her wild-eyed, Solomon Gimorra Bieldoz, her color drains from my mama's face.

Lord Jesus! She runs, upstairs, starts screaming into the phone. A few minutes later, pastor arrives, with my father, all of them frantic. My brother now, he's twisting around in a chair, hands trembling, eyes demented,

as they begin the anointing ceremony. A pastor removes a specially consecrated vial of olive oil from his jacket pocket. He dabs it onto a piece of white linen and presses the cloth on the forehead of my still babbling brother. And together, they all placed their hand on his

as the pastor leads him in prayer. In the name of Jesus, we command any and all vile spirits and evil to come out of this boy. Haksma. Haksana, haksa-ha-hast-a-la. Leave this boy, Satan. Leave him.

My brother's head whips back and forth of his tongue. He's back. Archer, like he's pushing against some sort of. invisible grip. Leave him, demons, leave this boy. His arms, legs, frail, beating, kick and punch him under this scrain of unseen pressure. And finally, finally. He falls still and is quiet except for the sound of hard breathing. And light returns to my brother's eyes. my mother weeping says thank you

thank you pastor thank you Jesus thank you Lord thank you later that night going to bed me and the bottom bunk him on the top in the darkness I tell him yeah you sure put in some work to dive that beat in your head coming today

and my brother says and we laugh and we laugh and we laugh. Growing up in Oklahoma, John Hinson's family, they often gathered plants like cedar,

sage, sweet grass. This native southern Cheyenne community, they use these plants as medicine to cleanse bad spirits and energy from homes, a practice known as smoking off. For spooked,

and for the very first time for a non-native audience, John shares his story spooked I was taught by my dad you know my dad saying John

come outside with me and we would walk out and he would get down and offer tobacco and cut the sage at the bottom of the stem and hand it to me and say hold this

it was that kind of thing of watching and if he needed something son go out and gather that for me go out and pick that it was that kind of interaction more than

I'm going to teach you how to do this Indians don't really do that. Cedar is used to cleanse. Some people don't burn it. Some people boil it and let the water cool and then wash themselves with the water. Cheyenne's, we burn it. Sage is also used to cleanse.

That smoke, when you pray with it, carries that spirit. Sweetgrass, sometimes it opens that world in between, you and the spirits to where you can speak with them. You speak to that spirit that moves. It's everything that's living. So it's the wind, it's the air, it's water. It's all the things of the natural world. People trusted my dad because of his ceremonial life.

If he was asked to smoke somebody's house off, there's a meeting prior, and I would just be with my dad, and he would just tell me to walk behind him. And we would walk through the home, smoke every room off. You basically go clockwise around the house. It's to open that house up to make them feel safe there. That's basically what smoking off or blessing a house is supposed to do. And then the family comes back in, and they're smoked off as they enter,

and there's usually a discussion. of what happened there, or if he saw anything, or if the house is cleansed, that kind of thing. Dad was preparing me for this life, but never mentioned any of this, or that I would do this when I got older. I was enrolled in Fort Loose College. I didn't know anyone.

You have a community of Indians. The southern Ute Rez is right there, northern Ute Rez, and then the Navajo Res, which is the largest reservation in the country. but then you have Pueblos, you have Hopes. I do feel comfort in being around, you know, 12 to 1,400 ending kids at the beginning of the semester. Anyone who's an earth religion, you kind of have this connection with them

because you understand what they're speaking about. Even if a kid's from a res where they didn't practice any of this, they at least have an insight of how we deal with one another. The first house I smoked off in Durango. It was my own. Someone came over and smelled, you know, cedar and those kinds of things. And they were like, what are you doing? And I told them I was smoking my house off.

I did have friends who moved into new apartments, and they didn't really have anyone to ask to take care of their home, to bless it, or to open it up like that. And so they would call me, hey, we're moving in here, which are going to be our first or second night, and we just want to just cleanse it. When I first started smoking houses off, I questioned everything that I did.

I knew the teachings that I had watched, but there's still a nervousness to it. I wasn't 100% courageous about it. There were times when I would get inside the home or talk to the people, and it would be something I didn't understand. That feeling of something is just not right. I would just tell the folks, hey, I'm going to have to make a phone call.

And I would ask people, elders usually, people that I trusted, people that understood what I do, and they would give me their knowledge base also of these things. I had a friend that called me and asked me to smoke off his house. I asked him what was going on, and he told me, he said, there were dreams being had by the grandmother that lived in the home. She was having nightmares and had been having him for a while. Dreams of like coyotes, dogs with fiery eyes and all that. She was starting to get afraid to be there.

She was actually wanting to leave. He was an avid hunter and he had this huge elk mount of the head and the horns, you know. And it was above the couch. He said he was laying on the couch. He heard him noise and he looked up at it and it was moving. And he got up and moved. And about that time, that elk mount fell off the wall. It flipped over, and it landed on the couch with the horns down.

So if he would have been there, the horns would have actually stabbed him. He said by that happening with that elk mount, it really got to him that he needed something done. It was a modular home, two-story. The rear of the house where the back door was, there was a wooden deck. It wasn't really a backyard, like fence or anything. It was just a property. But on the back of it, there were rocky areas, mases, plateaus. This was early evening.

It was getting dark. I said, I need for you to build me a fire in the backyard. Away from the back porch. It didn't have to be huge, but enough to where I can pray outside. I can burn the medicine. I need to, stuff like that. And he thought that was kind of odd. He said, well, I just need for you to smoke my house off.

It was the first time I'd ever done that. But I did know that whatever needed addressed was entering the house and then probably leaving. It was just something that seemed right to do. He was like, okay. So he went out and did that. I talked to the family and told them what I was going to do. We needed to open up the home, cabinets, drawers, closets, all that kind of stuff. Needed to be at least cracked.

after the fire was going, he came back in and I instructed him. I said, well, I need for you guys to leave. If you want to go to town, I understand, do not enter the home until I give you guys the motion to come in. And they all agreed, shook hands, did all that mess, and then they left. I don't want to have someone in the house when I'm smoking it off and something does appear and they freak out and they won't calm down. I don't want that feeding those kinds of things. This is the way I was taught to do it. You have people leave, take care of the home, and that's what I have to focus on.

I get the things that I'm going to use, cedar and sage. I sit down in the floor, I get all my things set aside, have my feather out, an eagle feather. It was gifted to me by my father. I have a cast iron skillet. I have that pan sitting in front of me with the things in it, and I have a lighter. and I lied it and I start praying for the home. I'm praying for the people that live there. I'm praying to all this natural world.

You ask the wind to come through that home. Those four directions to pass through there and to cleanse it. I've got my grandmas behind me, my uncle, my dad, even though he's still here, all those things behind me. And so I'm talking to them as well. I get my feather and I hold the pan and basically go through and fan that smoke throughout the house. And I go in a clockwise motion around the entire inside of the home.

Focus on doors to make sure bad things aren't going to come in afterwards. And then I went upstairs, took care of that, and I came back down and I continued in that circular motion around the home. there was nothing inside that house. I didn't feel anything bad inside that home. It was really easy to take care of. I gathered up my bag and my stuff and I went outside. I sat down the ground. It was dark by then.

Clear night, it was kind of cool. No moon, stars shining, you know, all that. I was backed up against the porch and the fire created a half circle, you know, of light. into the backyard. There was also a little Rottweiler puppy that he had. It came up and it curled up beside me. And it was just sitting there.

I was sitting on my knees. And I was putting cedar and things on that fire. I was trying to figure out what was bothering them. And so at one point, I just said out loud, if there's something here that wants to be seen or heard, I need for you to come here and talk to me. Come sit down with me. I'm absolutely respectful as I can be

because you're not there to hurt it. I don't want to try to hurt me. As soon as I said that, I could hear the grass crunching as something was walking. And it sounded large. I heard it approaching and I started praying. I couldn't see it. But that puppy jumped up

and took off running, yelping around. the house. That honestly scared me worse than anything. There was an absolute fear that instantly hit me. What is this? What am I going to do? You've asked it to come

sit with you. And the closer it got the more pressure was building. The grass still breaking. And when it gets to the edge of that light, it stops. But it's standing right in front of me.

me, but I just can't see it. I can hear it breathing and I can feel that presence there. It leans in to the light. The head is fully visible, but it's got that cast like when you hold a flashlight underneath your face, those shadows. It is a cat's head, yellow and black. Ears were just kind of moving around. It had huge yellow eyes with black slits. I would say 10 to 12 feet tall and had huge whiskers and I could tell it was a cat but it had more of a human-like body.

It was standing on two legs. It did have arms but the hands weren't really anything I was focusing on. I was focusing on what I just saw and I was in my mind trying to figure out how to address it because that is the absolute last thing I was ever expecting to come to me.

It leaned in so it could see me and then just leaned back out. It was quit. It was something I'd never seen before. It was breathtaking. I could hear it breathing. It was deep. A large inhale, large exhale. The hair on my arm stands up.

The hair on my back, my head, that light feeling of skin, crawling, fear in my heart. I was absolutely terrified. And then I heard my uncle's voice telling me to put that fear aside. You cannot be afraid of this. This is why you were asked to do this. I hear my grandma is telling me, we're still at war. We're still at war, but we're going to be respectful to our enemies.

I hear all those people who have taught me all those things at that one moment, and I had to separate fear from my entire being. And I put it aside. And I knew that I was fixing to have counsel with whatever this was that had walked up. I calmed myself down, and I said, thank you for coming here. I said, if you want to tell me why you're here, it's okay. As I spoke to it, it was listening. I could feel it listening.

It started pacing on the outside of that light, right on the edge of that darkness. It was just walking back and forth and I could hear it step. I said, if you were sent here, I need for you to go back to that person that sent you. There's no need for you to be here anymore. I said, the way I was taught to pray was in a good way, a peaceful way.

Maybe someone has never prayed for you like this. Maybe people are just afraid of you, but I'm not. and every now and then it would lean in and look at me. I was speaking those things as I was praying also, and it just kept pacing back and forth. I'm putting cedar on that fire, sparkles come off of it. I had sage burning. I was holding my fan across my lap,

and I'm sitting there focused on that fire. I stopped looking at it. And every now and then out of my peripheral, I see it looking in. And this went on for a while. and I just told it I don't know why you're here but there's a whole other world waiting on you and so all I ask for you

is to move on you're not needed here you're scaring these folks you scared me when you walked up here but now we're just talking we're being respectful to one another I've asked my folks in the other world to accept you like this

and for you to go. And it was kind of a build-up in breathing again, and I looked up, and you could see it just hiding in the shadow of things, and the next thing, it was gone. And an absolute peace fell upon that entire valley. Everything came back alive. You could hear bugs. You could hear all the things in the night.

The senses in my head, in my body were so high. It's like I could fill everything. And I knew absolute that, whatever that was, it was gone. Little puppy came back around, laid down back beside me. I stayed out there and continued to pray for a while. And then I knew it was time. I finished up what I was doing out there. I gathered my stuff up.

I put some coals in my pan. And I went back inside and called the family in. When Grandma walked in, there was like a sigh. relief. I told him, I said, whatever that was here is gone. I smoked grandma first. When I was done, she hugged me, and she went right to her room. She went in there and laid down on her bed. And that really gave me a sense of relief of she felt comfortable, you know. And then smoking off their kids, nephew, the wife, smoking off my friend. I smoked myself off and then went out in the front porch,

and we were standing out there smoking cigarettes, me and my bud. He did ask me what I saw, and I just told him I couldn't tell him. It wasn't for him to know, but it was gone, and that's all that mattered. I just tell them. You need to watch who you bring into your home. You need to watch also how you interact with one another. You don't need to live the cleanest life if you're a drinker or whatever, but just know that I just sacrificed myself

because you asked me to. And I ask you guys to sacrifice a little as well. And then we shook hands and I went on my way. I'm not a medicine man. You know, I'm not anything like that. It is a ceremony, but it's not magic. And I see people on the internet or Facebook or Instagram or Twitter that post about, you know, I had to buy a smudged stick to take care of my house.

We kind of make fun of them. We call them tourists. I want to know if they understand that power of what they're holding because they might just see it as the plant. I'm opening up. So people will know, you know, that this isn't a step-by-step of how you do this. This is just one instance of what I've seen and what I've taken care of or done the best I could with, you know.

I would mostly say that this is more kind of, like a warning of what can happen. You don't want to be a tourist to this. You need to be equipped to be able to handle whatever it might come. To John Henson for sharing that story, the original score was by Leon Morimoto. He was produced by Chris Hambrick and Ann Ford. You know from imaginary friends. Lots of people had one of them back in the day, but some folk, they had a little friend

who was not quite as imaginary as others. A little friend that some couldn't see, a little friend who would do things for them all the same. Mostly little things. Wanted to be helpful. Wanted to help. Sometimes, though, that little friend, that imaginary friend could do bigger things.

You could do secret things. Every once in a while. That friend, that friend might want, something in return, a friend like this. Or if you know someone who does, I want to hear about it because there's nothing better than a spook story from a spooked listener. Spooked at snapjudgment.org.

Now we know the best way to ward off evil spirits is by sporting spook gear available right now at snapjudgment.org. And remember, if you like your storytelling under the bright light of day, get the amazing stupendous sister podcast, Snap Judgment. It's storytelling with a beat. Fook was created by the team that knows both when to hold him and when to fold them. Except, of course, from Mark Ristich, he just knows when to run. There's Davey Kim, Taileda Kot, Marissa Dodge, Zoe Frigno, Ann Ford, Eric Yanyez,

Hodi Harjo, Miles Lassie, Yari Bundy, Doug Stewart, Leon Morimoto, So the spook theme song is by Pat Massili Miller. My name is from Washington. Now, you may or may not think of yourself as a bilingual person. Or polyglot, one of those magical beings that speak multiple languages, but some communications are older even than words. Some things we just know instinctively. It's written into our very essence.

like music. Music is its own language. A song can make you weep even if you don't understand the words. So two, we're the children of a million million sunsets taught to

know that in darkness danger lurks and shadow hides the monster and it's amazing that as moderns we often struggle to recognize are the signals that deep down, we already know.

First and foremost among these is never, never, ever, never, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, never, ever.