Start With A Win - Leadership Tactics Part 1 with Sergeant Major Kyle Lamb

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

Sergeant Major Kyle Lamb spent over 21 years in the United States Army, with 15 years of that time with Delta Force. He has participated in many conflicts, including Desert Storm, Bosnia, Iraq, as well as in the battle made famous by the movie Black Hawk Down in Somalia. Sergeant Major Lamb is the Founder and President of Viking Tactics, a tactical training and tactical gear business. He has also written a number of books, including his latest Leadership in the Shadows.Main TopicsKyle’s journey from his childhood in South Dakota to a career in the United States Army Special Forces (2:45)Leaders are built, not born (7:35) How negativity can inspire your leadership and the importance of meritocracy in leadership (11:54)Pulling leadership inspiration from everybody, even if you don’t agree with them (15:56)Teaching leadership tactics across different sectors (18:40)  Episode LinksLeadership in the Shadows: https://www.vikingtactics.com/product-p/vtac-lits.htm Connect with Kyle:https://www.vikingtactics.comhttps://www.facebook.com/Viking-Tactics-Inc-170871879632771Connect with Adam:https://www.startwithawin.com/https://www.facebook.com/AdamContosCEOhttps://twitter.com/AdamContosCEOhttps://www.instagram.com/adamcontosceo/Listen, rate, and subscribe!Apple Podcasts Spotify Google Podcasts

Welcome to Start With A Win, where we give you the tools and lessons you need to create business and personal success. Are you ready? Let's do this. Coming to you from Brand Viva Media headquarters here in Denver, Colorado, it's Adam Kantos with Start With A Win. How are you doing, Producer Mark? I'm doing so good. Awesome. Hey, we have a great friend, an amazing American, just a wonderful man, great leader on the show today. What do you say we dive into this? Yeah, so I'm really excited about this interview.

We have Sergeant Major Kyle Lamb on the show today. And if you don't know, he spent over 21 years in the United States Army with 15 years of that time with the Delta Force. So that's a big deal. OK, the Delta Force is like the cream of the crop. You know, it's like when you're making butter and then all the good stuff rises to the top there, you take that off so you can really savor it. That's the Delta Force, okay? He has participated in many conflicts, including Desert Storm, Bosnia, Iraq, as well as in the battle made famous by the movie, which you guys maybe have seen, Black Hawk Down. So, Sergeant Major Kyle Lamb, welcome to Start With a Wind. Hey, thanks for having me. I was up dancing when that music was awesome, and then you said something about cream floating to the top, and that's not the only thing that floats to the top. I squeaked through there somehow. Incredible human being, a great leader. And it's so cool to have you on because I'm really excited to talk about leadership with a true leader and somebody who carries the torch of leadership. So I just want to say thank you for being on the show and welcome.

Thanks for having me. book, Leadership in the Shadows. You've got multiple books out, correct? Yep. So, you know, and a lot of those were like technical books or just, you know, I guess, but Leadership in the Shadows ties a lot of your leadership concepts into some to-dos. You get homework at the end of each chapter, things of that nature. And I'll tell you what, I read this book and it was super inspiring and getting to talk to you personally. And I know you teach a lot of my former colleagues, or I guess current colleagues, where you travel around the country and teach law enforcement, military, as well as a corporate environment, where you teach leadership, as well as a lot of firearms and tactics. It's really cool to dig into this with you. But I want to start with a question just about your history. Why did you join the military and why did you decide to take the

journey that you did in that? I joined the military because I grew up in South Dakota and my choices there were, I had two of them. I could be an alcoholic or a farmer and you could actually cross train and be a farmer who was an alcoholic. There wasn't really much that I wanted to do there. I loved horses. I loved all of that side of things, but I wasn't much for sitting on a tractor. My dad was one of the hardest working dudes I ever had met. He was born in 1911, so he, just a crazy good work ethic. And, uh, yeah, I, I, I always aspired to, to do something adventurous and I rodeoed as I was growing up. I did other things and I thought, well, I can't be a pro rodeo bull rider because I suck. So maybe I could, you know, what, what else could I could do that would be somewhat adventurous and get me out of Willow Lake, South Dakota.

And once again, it's not a bad place. It's just that if you're a farmer, it's the perfect place to be. Wide open spaces, it's awesome. But I joined the military. I'm not going to say that the, well, you know, being in the Marine Corps, the first little bit was not easy because I got to tell you, man, I was homesick. I mean, immediately out of the gate, I got homesick. I was freshly married. I got married two weeks before I left for the military. I was missing my new bride. And it was kind of rough. But I started looking around and I thought, man, everybody here, we're on until I got to jump school. And I met my first

black hat and they come out and they were, they were the most squared away sergeants that I'd ever seen. I mean, my drill sergeants, they were squared away too, but not like the black hats, the instructors at airborne school at Fort Benning. And at that point I knew that I was where I needed to be because they inspired me. I wanted to do whatever I could to impress them to be part of that team and continue. So from that point on, I got to tell you, for the next 20 years, I enjoyed. That doesn't mean there weren't some tough times, but I really enjoyed what I did because I found my tribe. And the thing that's cool about that is you're in the same tribe. So when you and I talk, as soon as you say you're a former Marine, I guess I'm not supposed to say former Marine, but as soon as you say you're a Marine, we immediately, we have a bond because of that military background.

And that's what I really like when I travel around and I get to meet people. My tribe includes military people, law enforcement, and hunters, fishermen, adventurers, guys like that. Christians, of course, I put them in there as well because we have that in common. And once I find them, it's just awesome. Right on. So you obviously progressed through the Army. I'm assuming you were an airborne division or something like that. And then into Rangers and Special Forces and then Delta.

Is that kind of how it was? No, the way I did it, I was a 31 Victor, tactical communications. So I went to Fort Sill, Oklahoma, which is nowhere near the tip of the spear. Been there? Yep. And I did my AIT for 31 Victor there as well. Then I went to jump school. Once again, that's where I started to love the military. Then I went to the 82nd Airborne Division, the only airborne division in the free

world and a very, very good place, I think, for a young man or a woman to start. From there, I was looking around and I thought, no, I don't want to be, I don't think I can step up to what these other guys are doing. And my wife goes, well, why can't you? Why can't you try out to be special forces? Why wouldn't you be able to do that? So at that point, I said, roger that. So I made the walk for special forces assessment and selection. And once I did that and got into fifth special forces group, went to Desert Shield, Desert Storm with them, I came back and I was impressed with their capabilities.

But I knew that there was more. And being a tactical communications guy, by that time I was 18 Echo, I'd learned Morse code. I spoke Arabic language. I just was, I wasn't happy yet. I guess that's it. So I was looking for another step. And everybody told me I couldn't make it into the unit because I was too young. So I went and tried out and I guess they had to meet the young, dumb guy quota. And I somehow, I snuck through and made it there in the fall of 1991. And I never looked back after that. Wow. Yeah. I mean, you look at it, sometimes you go, I wasn't smart enough to quit, but I got started. So I wasn't dumb. That's for sure. So, you know, it's, you look at it and

think to yourself and God bless our warriors and the intensity that it takes in order to be one in this world. It's fascinating when you start extracting leadership out of that and the growth that comes with that leadership and that intensity. And you go, oh, I, you know, I learned along the way, which I think you'll, you'll be the first one to say that leaders are made, you know, in your, in your book, you, you talk about really the only way to be born a leader is if you're like a King or a queen or something like that. But then somebody has got to mentor you as a child in order to not look like a complete moron in that position. But how did you find yourself making leadership in your life? I mean, what started that process and what caught your

eye about it and caused you to progress it? Or was it some of this not noticing but doing? I mean, take me through that process. I don't talk too much about this. It really never really comes up. But I was the guy that in our school won the Hugh O'Brien leadership thing and I went to that. And to be honest with you, I don't remember a lot about what we did. All I know is I was with other like-minded kids. And what I mean by like-minded was I never, ever took no for an answer.

You know, like, well, you can't do that. Why can't I do it? I can do it. I can do anything I set my mind to do. I mean, I may not do it as good as some other person, but I can definitely do it. So that was one thing. The other thing that really helped me was I was involved from a young age in organizations. So one, I was, so in church, which, you know, that's a good, good step there. But then probably what helped me even more was being in 4-H. So in 4-H, what did I do?

I showed horses and I did some other stuff too, but horses were the big thing and rodeoed with them. So that being said, if you're going to be in 4-H, they make you do presentations. And I think that part of what I learned was I had the ability, even though it made my stomach not up and I felt like I was going to throw up, I love to get up and speak in front of people.

And as a kid, I've looked back at my report cards, and it says I was the class clown. Well, good. Look where the class clown made it. I mean, this is success. And I think one of the things I want to bring up while we're talking about that was not just 4-H, FFA, other organizations that I was a part of, but one of the things I see nowadays, especially with young men, young women are much more And it doesn't have to be your dad. It can just be another father type figure. But I guess I was lucky there

because my dad was a strong man. I had a shop teacher, a friend of mine, Kendall Thompson, who just passed away a couple of weeks ago. He was a strong man that not only taught me at school, but he roped with me. He was my roping partner for Heading and Healing, Team Roping. We got to fix that problem. And that's what I saw as a young kid that I needed to be a man and do things like that and step up and do presentations and put myself on

the spot. Once again, it's not easy. It's still not easy. And when I go out to speak now, I still try to purposely get myself a little bit worked up, but I want to lead. And I know you, I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that you have the same problem I have. You probably walk into a room and you look around and you think, man, I don't know if I fit in here. And then all of a sudden you've, you've taken over. And that doesn't mean that you're overbearing. It just means that you have a personality. I mean, you walk up to me, we, we were out at your place a couple of weeks ago there and you walk up and it's, it's like, I'm talking to an old friend. You know what I mean? It's like, here's this dude that I don't know real well, but I feel like you make me comfortable. You make me, you know, you inspire

me like, Hey, you're writing books. You're doing this stuff. It's awesome. And I think that's how that leadership started as a kid. I looked around and I saw other leaders around me. And then some of it, I think some of the things I went through as a child inspired me because of their negativity. So some of the negatives in my life growing up would be the caste system. So as we talked about, the aristocracy of kings and queens get the heck out of high school, you know, survive at high school is one of the stupidest things I've ever experienced. But once, once I got out of high school and I realized that there was this thing called a meritocracy, which the military is, the military doesn't, when you go in the military,

they don't say who was your father. Right, right. Who gets politically appointed here? Yeah. Generals do that. Now, they do check for who their fathers are, and you can see why we've struggled on that front. But I guarantee that when you signed up, it was just like me. They said, what's your name? What's your rank? But most importantly, what's your social security number? Because all you are is a number in the military, and then you make your own way. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting when you look at that process, and I hate the word entitlement. It just grates on me, but I guess that's one of the best ways of referring to somebody handing somebody else power or handing somebody else the authority

to make decisions, even though they haven't, I guess, established themselves as the capable leader. Granted, I mean, what are your thoughts on throwing somebody into the fire, though, and saying, go do it? You know, and obviously, stress causes emergence of leaders, and it also causes the emergence of those that don't have leadership. What, you know, you look at, okay, let's not appoint people leaders, but let's make them earn it. But we also see people earn non-leadership, right?

Yeah. And I think what I would say there is I'm a big fan of putting people in leadership positions before they're going to be in that leadership position, because we can do two things. Well, actually three things. One, we can see what they're made of. Two, we can see if they're actually leadership material. And then three, probably to me almost as important as all of those are, we can then use that and say, okay, I put you in a leadership position. You took it to this level. Why don't you take it to that same level when you're not in a leadership position? So sometimes it inspires people to raise their regular performance if they know that, Roger that, I know what it's like to be a leader now or to be in that position.

It's hard if you've got a bunch of slugs. It's just no fun to be a leader. Whereas if you have a bunch of hard chargers, then it's just a matter of her those half domesticated Angora cats in the right direction and keeping them going. And that's why I liked not only special forces. I mean, in the 82nd, it was good. In special forces, it got better. And at the unit, it was amazing because everybody was self-motivated. We had a guy, good friend of mine, Kevin, he said, I've never worked so hard to be mediocre. I love that.

And that's what you want. You know, do you want to be like in charge of the Craftsman 5,000 piece tool bag kit? Right. Or do you want to be in charge of a bunch of people that are hard chargers and make you work every day? And, you know, and that's the other thing, too, that I like is,, with, I've been reading your book. I don't think I said that since we fired this up, but look at this. I got it right here. Good advertising right there. Thank you. You, every day is a new day, right? And what did you do yesterday? You know what? I honestly don't care what you did yesterday. I want to know what you're going to do today.

Now, credibility is earned throughout our past performance. But if we're going to maintain credibility, we've got to continue with that. And I think that's, you know, you've used some terms that I haven't used. And I really like that because overall, your thought processes are very similar to mine. And one of the things I said before we got going on this podcast was use the term mission. And mission is super important to me. And it's not just one. Some people get offended by military terminology. And what I'd say to those people that get offended by that, I'd say, well, it's too bad that you'll never be a great leader.

Because the best way to be a great leader is to pull great leadership ideas and ways from everybody. Every single person. Hey, I didn't agree with Genghis Khan what he did. But then I agreed with what Genghis Khan did. You see what I'm saying? Like, we can draw something from Genghis Khan. I'm not a big fan of Abraham Lincoln. But doggone, Abraham Lincoln was a great leader.

So there's things he did that were great. There's things he did that weren't so great. I'm not trying to belittle one of the greatest presidents we ever had. I'm just saying that you can have the right to disagree. But military leadership and using words like mission, I mean, immediately you've won me over. And I think if people will put that, if they'll change their mindset a little bit and open up to it, it's going to make them a more effective leader. Totally. I love where you're going with this or your statements here because so many people, especially in this society, they judge and then they shut people off because they've judged. But I think you're right. In the reality, there are a lot of people who could be – I guess you could consider them good leaders but bad humans.

They're morally bankrupt or something like that. But they've made some – they didn't do 100% bad stuff. And I'm not saying that they're okay. There's been some absolutely horrible people on this planet that have harmed others. And you and I both subscribe to the book of, okay, let's be good human beings and good leaders. And they might have leadership principles, but they're bad human beings. So don't take it the wrong way, listeners. I'm not encouraging somebody not being a good human being, but don't be blind to leadership lessons, I guess, is kind of this whole thing. And it's fascinating when you look at that because you look at the strategy of, okay, this team beat my team, and I don't like maybe they cheated, but they had some good principles behind where they were going. We need to eliminate the cheating and be fair and good people. Although, you know, we could have a discussion on the fairness thing. You know, life is not fair.

You have to work your ass off to get what you get. But I guess ultimately it's fascinating how you approach your day because you look at it and you go, oh, well, what can I learn from that? Instead of I hate that, I'm shutting it out. And I love that idea. It's interesting. And I know you get people thinking is a big part of how you teach? And when I read your book, when I listen to you speak, you go out and you teach leaders in law enforcement, military, private sector, everything from civilian sector to

churches to whatever. And you get out and you make people open their mind up and think about what's going on, but you put a framework to that thought process. And your book contains a lot of that framework. Can I interrupt you real quick? Go ahead, Kyle. Yeah. One thing you left out, and I want to make sure that I've been hitting the head a lot, so I may forget this. I'll say it right now. They make me think. Oh, yeah. And to me, that's what's so fun.

If you get engaged with a good group. So let's use law enforcement, for example. Sure. When I first got out of the military, I had no idea. I don't know what a law enforcement guy does. I mean, I tried to avoid him every time I saw him on the street because I didn't want to get arrested. I've still never been incarcerated inside the United States of America. So I'm doing pretty good there. Way to quantify that, my friend. Yeah. But what I try to do is I learned from law enforcement because law enforcement has a different set of rules that they have to apply on their battlefield. Same thing goes if I'm talking to business people.

They have a different set of rules that they have to apply on their battlefield. That doesn't mean I agree with them. That means that those are the rules that they must apply as their rules of engagement on a daily basis. So I have to figure out, once again, I'm a military dude, but what I really am is a special operations guy. And that means that I need to morph into whoever I need to be for that specific mission, that task at hand. So once again, I put everything in that mission, just like you, it's same thing that you do. I focus on it as a mission and I say, today I'm going to speak to a bunch of real estate agents. Well, let's talk about that. Last week I was in Oregon and I spoke to an oil

and gas company. Their struggles are just as real as the military, but they're different struggles in the military. So how can I flesh it out so it's something I can learn from them? And then I can say, okay, here's how I apply the military decision-making model, which I try to hack down and make it just a bottom-up planning session because we can get everybody in the same room there, same thing. And then what can we take away from that? So once again, I like, and I know you do the same thing because I read it almost every page is how you've learned from other people. Man, that's awesome. If you think you're just born with leadership, man, I feel bad for you because you're like the guy

that's the smartest dude in the room. He's probably in an empty room, I guess. All right, we're going to pause the conversation right there. This has just been amazing. It's been gold. But we've reached the end of our episode. So make sure that you subscribe

so you get notified next week when part two comes out we'll see you next time