Start With A Win - Owning Your Mistakes

Episode Date: January 25, 2023

Business is all about relationships. It requires give and take, especially when everything doesn’t go according to plan. Much like a bank account, we can evaluate the health of our relationships by tracking both deposits and withdrawals. Good leaders constantly deposit in employees’ and customers’ relational bank accounts so that when it comes time to make a withdrawal, there is enough in the account to sustain the cost. Recognition and appreciation are some of the most powerful tools for making deposits. Gratitude and compassion build trust. When mishaps occur, people need to be able to fall back on positive past experiences in order to offer grace in the current situation. When we are honest about our mistakes, then we can make necessary pivots for getting back on track with clear communication and purposeful redirection. Main TopicsMark’s first “own it” of the year (01:11)Accountability is witnessing, not judging (04:16)Relationships are like bank accounts (07:35)Balancing deposits and withdrawals in business and personal relationships (12:06)What does inflation in relationships look like? (13:25)Call to action- what have you done since the first of the year to make relational deposits? (15:57)Connect with Adam:https://www.startwithawin.com/https://www.facebook.com/AdamContosCEOhttps://twitter.com/AdamContosCEOhttps://www.instagram.com/adamcontosceo/Listen, rate, and subscribe!Apple PodcastsSpotifyGoogle Podcasts

Welcome to Start With A Win, where we give you the tools and lessons you need to create business and personal success. Are you ready? Let's do this. Coming to you from Start With A Win headquarters here at Area 15 Ventures, it's Adam Kantos. How are you doing, Producer Mark? I'm doing so good. You're remote today. We're not in the same room. I am remote today. I think this is a great lesson that we can share with everybody. So this is January 2nd when we're recording this, right? Which is technically a- Happy New Year, yes.

It's an observed holiday. And before going into recording earlier this year, when we were talking about schedules and things like that, this was one of the only days that you could record in January. And so we're like, all right, we have to make this happen. And so I told my team like, Hey, I'll, I'll take care of it. You know, we'll, I'll just go and we'll record them, you know, we'll make it happen. Well, anyways, you showed up on time, ready to rock. And I did not show up on time. I failed. Okay. And so, you know,

as I was getting set up and thinking about like all the things that, you know, all the excuses I'd make, like, Oh, well, you know, you know, it wasn't on my calendar or, you know, as I was getting set up and thinking about like all the things that, you know, all the excuses I'd make, like, oh, well, you know, it wasn't on my calendar or, you know, I committed to this like a while ago and totally spaced it out. Like, or, you know, I was hanging out with my wife. My phone was in the other room, blah, blah, blah. I said, you know what? At the end of the day, I dropped the ball and I just need to, you know, fess up to that and take responsibility.

It was my fault. And, you know, just say that instead of making a bunch of excuses. And so I did, and you were gracious enough to say, hey, we'll move on from this. Right. It's your first own it of the year, right? That's right. It's your first own it of the year. And so I think that that's something, because I, I am a person too, that I hate excuses. Like, you excuses. When something happens and someone starts to blubber about all the reasons why, I'm like, you know what? I don't care about your excuse. You failed. And so just own up to it and then let's move on. And so I think that's a great lesson for so many people who have their own businesses, who are entrepreneurs. Things happen

from time to time. And when those things happen, it's important that you just take responsibility, own up to it, and then move forward. You know what's fascinating about this, Mark? And first of all, gratitude to you and Grace for owning it. It's 28 degrees out and we drove to the office and we're standing outside. We're like, Mark, where are you? And you're like, yeah, the entire building was like locked, right? Yeah. You're like, we're closed today. And I go, my kids are sleeping upstairs. I'm like, why are you whispering?

And you're like, oh, sorry, dude. And I'm like, wait a second. Oh, okay. Well, what do you want to do? You're like, well, let's just do it remote. Okay, cool. So, you know, it's interesting when something happens, uh, plan A obviously doesn't work for whatever reason it is. You're like, I'm sorry, let's pivot. There's that Friends episode where they're carrying a couch up the stairwell and they're in New York City and they're trying to move a couch between floors of this apartment complex and they're stuck and they're hanging it over the edge, pivot,

trying to pivot the thing around. It was hilarious because I've seen that used so many times in business, but we need to use it in our lives and give ourselves a little grace in order to pivot. And you said, hey, Adam, you got a studio at Area 15. I have a studio in my house also. You're like, I got a studio in my house, which you're in a brand new house. So you're probably scrambling around to set that up. But it looks great. It sounds great. We pivoted. And here we are. And we're recording this January 2nd. We're airing it probably end of January 1st of February. So my question for everybody is how many times have you had to pivot already this year? Right. Yeah. All the, all the

personal goals that people set up, like, oh, I'm going to lose, you know, all this weight. I'm going to add this new business line. I'm going to do X, Y, and Z. And here we are four, six weeks later. How are things going? Right. Let's call this an accountability meeting. Yeah, totally. What we're doing right now is we need to understand that we're humans. We forget sometimes. Maybe we type something into the wrong place on our calendar. Maybe we just forgot to type into our calendar because we're so caught up in whatever else, but we're human. And you demonstrated a great deal of grace this morning. We appreciated each other's frustration with this and kind of leaned back on our friendships and said, wait a sec, let's just

get this figured out. And here we are, this is going to happen to people. If this is the only time this happens to you and I in our relationship this year, then that's like unbelievable. Yeah. So I'm like, because we're going to have, oh, sorry, dude. And you know what? You might call me next. We can go, uh, you're supposed to be here recording something. I'd be like, oh, sorry. You're like, I'm on a plane somewhere. Yeah, yeah, totally. So, I mean, but we give each other grace. And that's part of the give in relationships is grace. And it's part of the give in business is grace. You look back on the holidays, and I wrote a big op-ed piece on Southwest Airlines, the holidays of 2022 and the Southwest meltdown and stuff like that.

And what happened was they stranded, I think it was 16 or 18,000 flights, all said and done. Multiply that times 143 to 175 passengers per flight. A lot of people. It was a mess. But you know what was interesting? The relationship that they had with their customers and the relationship that the business had with the employees and the employees with the customers was amazing. So, sure, there was, you know, is there accountability and responsibility and things like that that needs to be taken and accepted here? Yes, there is.

And it costs Southwest, I don't know, probably by the time this airs, we'll have a decent number as to the value that they lost in doing so. Like two days, they lost $75 million in October of 2021 for something relatively similar, but a lot smaller in nature. But this is going to cost them money. But what's the worst thing it could possibly cost them? A relationship. I mean, that's absolutely the worst thing that they could have lost in this is a relationship as opposed to just the cash because something, some mechanism broke. So this is a big business lesson for accountability. And Mark, remember our definition of accountability, witnessing, not judging.

Yes. So, you know, we're like, okay, and what do we do as humans? We start to blame and judge. But what should we do? We should go, okay, that happened. Boop. There we go. I witnessed accounting for it.

How do we prevent it from happening again? Let's take the measures to prevent it from happening again? Let's take the measures to prevent it from happening again. And if it does, it does, but let's just know that we've done everything we could to prevent that. Well, yeah. And I think too, with the Southwest thing, you know, especially on the side of business, right? It's this idea that, you know, cause I'm, I'm a Southwest guy. I fly exclusively Southwest. I know you're an A-lister. I am an A-lister preferred. Okay. And I know you fly United, right? You're a United guy. So that's kind of your thing. But I will say I was kind of indirectly affected by the whole thing because a cousin of mine had his flight

canceled and whatnot because he flies with Southwest as well. And so we kind of chatted about that. But at the same time, what I've experienced over a decade of flying with them is consistency and a good time and just where it's like, okay, this happened, but because of all the great experiences I've had in the past and good customer service and being able to change flights last minute and just all these things that have kind of stacked up of the goodwill that they've provided. Yeah, it sucks. But in the same way, I'm able to say, move on from that to be like, well, you know what, for a decade, I've had really great customer service. I've had really awesome experiences and yeah, they, they screwed up big time here, but I can

show, I can kind of move on from that, give them another chance because of all the goodwill they built up with me over the years. You know, that's, you know, that's a really interesting point because relationships are like bank accounts. And if you bankrupt that relationship or bankrupt that bank account and you go to make another withdrawal from it, there's no way you can do that. But if you're, if you're filling that relationship or filling that bank account as much as possible, and you have an emergency emergency like the Southwest situation, like you forgetting or misplacing your schedule, whatever, who cares what it was. You're like, okay, note to self, I withdraw, withdrew something from that account. Or let's say, let's say you, you own a restaurant and somebody has just horrible service or maybe the food came out terrible.

Or maybe, who knows, maybe the person behind them in the next table or booth accidentally spilled something on them when they're on a date night or something like that. It could have nothing to do with your restaurant or your well-being or your efforts or anything like that. But you're right in the middle of it. If you have not been making those deposits of grace and love and whatever else you want to call it, customer experience, customer service, in that account, there's nothing to withdraw. But like what you mentioned with Southwest, they've spent so much time and effort to create that goodwill with their clients that their clients are like, yes, this is

disruptive for me, is screwing up my holidays, whatever. But I know you're trying and they're communicating with clarity. Hey, we're trying, we're sorry. We're going to get this thing fixed. We will get this figured out. Here's our goal. Here's what we're going to try and do, so on and so forth, and added some direction and clarity to that. It's like this morning, you're like, tell you what, go back to your office. We'll do a remote broadcast. I apologize. This wasn't meant to happen, but let's move on with it. I'm like, okay, cool. I'd like everybody to think about that. That's on here because I can promise you, you've either had recently a withdrawal from your relationship account or you're going to have a withdrawal from your relationship account in the future, be it with your spouse, your significant other, your partner. Who knows who it's with, a friend, a colleague, a provider of service to your business, or one of your customers.

So what are you doing to deposit in that account now? Yeah, it's important. I think it's one of those things that as business owners and leaders, you don't think about that kind of stuff, about that deposit. But I do think it's extremely important to be self-aware in that way to know that, Hey, I'm making positive deposits. And when a negative deposit happens, I want to make sure that my positive bank account is way more full than my negative bank account. Because, you know, at the end of the day, and I know you've probably experienced this too, where it's like someone who's always late, always pulling off of, you know, that pulling from that bank account. And then there's like

that last time that happens, it's like, you know what? I'm just done working with you. I'm done doing business with you. I'm done trusting that you are going to do what you say you're going to do because it seems like every single time there's something that comes up or there's some sort of issue or you're making an excuse. And so, yeah, I think that, like you said, it's kind of like that checkup to look at yourself. Here we are several weeks into the new year. How are my deposits going? Am I depositing more than I'm taking?

And where do I need to adjust and have that self-awareness and do better? Totally. That encompasses in its entirety the experience that that other person has with your relationship. And business is a relationship. I can't stress that enough. So I think this episode, this discussion causes us to say, okay, what am I doing with those accounts? Because here's the reality is, you know, we talk about inflation and things like that in the economy. And what we know about inflation, if we compare this to monetary value, is let's say you're depositing 5% in that account, or let's say you're just not depositing anything in that account, Mark. Let's say you're just leaving it be where it's at. What's the level of inflation right now? It's somewhere between 8% and 12% fluctuating, right? So you're actually

losing ground in that account if you're not theoretically, and I'm using air quotes, making withdrawals from that account because of inflation. Now, what is inflation in a relationship? This is a good question, right? Yeah, it is. Yeah, what is inflation in a relationship? This is a good question, right? Yeah, it is. Yeah. What is inflation? So inflation in a relationship is neglect. It's lack of attention. It's lack of love. It's lack of caring. And I want to share a statistic with you here. This is fascinating because 79% of employees said they left a company because they did not feel appreciated or recognized. Now, what's appreciation and recognition? Obviously, those are the two things we can't give ourselves, according to Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, which we talk about

a lot. Why? Because that is a key psychological principle to growing your relationship in business. But ultimately, 79%, let's just call it 80% of people are not receiving anything out of the accounts that they have with their, the relationship accounts that they have with their company, simply because they are being taken for granted. That hurts to say that. Yeah, seriously. So, and you know, when I, you and I communicate all the time, like, Hey buddy, how you doing today? You're like, great. Love you, man. I said, love you too. And you know, it's, and you know, we're just good friends who care about each other. But I say just because shouldn't that be kind of the commonality is that we care about each other in our businesses, in our relationships, our friendships, as much as we care about, say, our bank accounts? I'm trying not to put less than 12% in my bank account each month.

I want to add, you have to deposit above inflation in order to actually see growth. Well, same thing with your relationship accounts. Are you depositing above that inflation number? Well, yeah. And too, I think about it's easy, especially as a business owner, someone with employees, it's easy to get caught up in the work and just feel like, okay, doing the job they're supposed to be doing, but then appreciate them for doing that job. Yeah. So, I mean, this kind of leads me to a big call to action on this podcast here, Mark. And I hope everybody's listening to this point because this is what's going to build your business, build your relationships, by the way, build your bank account. What have you done since the first of the year to make those deposits? I have that question

for all of our listeners. What have you done to deposit in your relationship accounts above the inflation that's going on? What's inflation in relationship? It's distraction. When there's distraction, there's doubt. When there's doubt, there's withdrawals out of that account because it doesn't have to be an active withdrawal. It doesn't have to be somebody insulting, somebody doing something that withdraws from that account, whatever it might be, the distractions of not having that account cared for, that relationship cared for, are withdrawals. And those withdrawals need to be replenished. So for all of our listeners out there, I'd love for you to take and write down, just for this week, write down your top 10 clients, so your top 10 business

associates, and then write down your top 10 personal associates. So we have 20 people here, 20 people, the 10 personal people you care about the most or have the most meaning in your life. This isn't a caring contest, but have that most impact. And then your top 10 business clients. And what have you done to deposit in each of those accounts? And here's what I'd like for you to do between now and next week when the next episode comes out, because we're going to talk about some of the things that business leaders need to be working on in order to continuously deposit. But I want you to pick up the phone.

And I don't mean just send an email. I'm sorry, but an email does not get it done. Pick up the phone and call these people and say, I just want to check in with you after the first of the year here and say that I really appreciate you. We haven't chatted in however, it could be two days. Could be a week, could be a month, could be a year, but we haven't chatted in a little while. And I just want to make sure that you're doing well. That's what I'd like to ask everybody to do on here. We're working on a lot more business challenges this year than we have in the past. I know, Mark, you always like to push

me on business challenges. Hopefully that will be something that makes a difference for you and your business or your accounts. We'll just call them that. Yeah, that's awesome. Hey, thanks so much for tuning in and listening to Start With A Win this week. We appreciate all that you guys do for us and with us as part of our audience. And I ask that you get involved and send us an email. You can head over to adamcontos.com and get a lot more great content over there. Download some really good PDFs. And until next time, remember, start with a win.