Start With A Win - Prioritizing the Process Over the Prize with Apolo Ohno

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

Welcome to the second half of this Start With A Win interview with Apolo Ohno, renowned short track speed skater who has become an author, speaker, and philanthropist in his retirement. Apolo has been talking about reinvention, pushing past self-doubt to be able to thrive rather than just survive. Humans, he says, are incredibly adaptable and can reconfigure themselves by mental shifts. Life won’t be easy, but by having the right mindset and being prepared for obstacles, you can experience gratitude and happiness by focusing on the present moment. Apolo’s five principles for navigating any circumstances are gratitude, gift-giving, grit, gearing up personal expectations, and getting into action.Apolo also encourages listeners to remember that you are not alone – you do not have to be alone – and your current situation is temporary – you do not have to live in the what-ifs. He has a few mottos that he consistently reminds himself of: “Don’t think you are – know you are.” And “Process over the prize.” A big part of being intentional with these mottos is setting up micro-routines that will help you track what you need to do to get to the goal. When it comes to limiting beliefs based on your self-doubts or your perceptions of the judgments of others, know that those things will probably happen at some point, so rather than dreading them, create an environment that lifts you. Society is gravitating towards radical authenticity, and you do not need to be afraid to fail. Know that your life is a gift and be conscious of how you are spending it with confidence that you can, and you will accomplish what you want to.Connect with Apolo:https://www.instagram.com/apoloohno/https://twitter.com/ApoloOhnohttps://www.facebook.com/ApoloOhnoOfficialhttps://apoloohno.com/ Connect with Adam:https://www.startwithawin.com/ https://www.facebook.com/REMAXAdamContoshttps://twitter.com/REMAXAdamContos https://www.instagram.com/REMAXadamcontos/ Leave us a voicemail:888-581-4430

All right, we're picking up our conversation with Apollo Ono. If you don't know who Apollo Ono is, he is a Dancing with the Stars champion and one of the most decorated winter Olympians of all time. So he's got a lot of great insight and information to share with us. If you haven't listened to last week's episode, go back and listen to it. It's a fantastic conversation on how he became an Olympian and his journey to that. So go back, listen to it if you're just tuning in for the first time and then come back here because this episode is filled with value bombs. Get your notebook, get your pen, get ready to get inspired. I hope you enjoy. Every day is filled with choices. You're here because you're choosing

to start with a win. Get ready to be inspired, learn something new, and connect with the win nation. So it starts from within first, right? I'm not some guru who's giving you some recipe for success. I'm saying I too have felt pain. I too have made mistakes. I too have gone down the wrong path. I too have self-sabotaged. And you know what? I too have been able to turn that around to my advantage, to be able to enrich the life that we all deserve to live. And so that's what the message really is, is it's a message of loss of identity, of reinvention, of adaptation, and figuring out how to thrive instead of just survive when it's time to do the hard pivot.

Super inspired right now sitting here. And I 100% agree with everything you're saying. And as you're talking, you kind of reflect on these moments in life, each of us personally, that we've had to make a hard pivot or that we have slipped and hit the wall. And then you start getting into this self-doubt. And I think a lot of self-doubt has crept forth more during COVID and people being in lockdown, things like that. And then we get to the point where we start labeling it as mental health issues. So you actually have to talk people into more of a hard pivot now than call it a year or two years ago when people are going through society. They're like, yeah, all right, the economy's good, whatever. We're doing these great things. And then everybody,

boom, it comes to a screeching halt and we're all in a major challenge. Do you have any advice for people to, and you talked about holding up the mirror, which is, I use that phrase a lot because I think that's incredibly powerful when it comes to, you know, shaking it off and looking at yourself and going, I'm still here. So what advice do you have or what statements can you give to people who need to make the hard pivot, who are going through the struggle with reinvention, loss of identity, uncertainty, things like that? How can they make themselves pivot in order to adapt to new opportunity? I think first and foremost, the mirror is

your greatest asset in times like this. The human condition and the human experience has proven over millions of years of just how adaptable that we right? The way that the human body responds and reacts to training, to trauma, and how it somehow autonomously reconfigures itself in a way that allows us to continue living in these environments is astonishing. Now, that can be accelerated once you begin to believe that it can be accelerated. So by holding up the mirror, it forces you to have the vulnerability and come to terms with, hey, like I said before, you're not perfect. You've made mistakes.

You have been complicit in the actions that have led you to not getting what you believe works. Or maybe you feel like you have exhausted everything and nothing seems to sway your way. Maybe the deck of cards feels like it's just missing cards right now and you're being dealt a hand that is just garbage. That's life. And it's not supposed to be easy. It's not supposed to be always just peaches and cream as they always say. There will be times, absolutely, when you will smile back on this moment and almost chuckle and laugh at yourself for acting and reacting and responding in certain ways. The happiest people in the world that we've been able to kind of interview and talk to seem to always have the same thing.

They're very present. They're grateful present. They're grateful. The simplicity of things that I call the five golden principles, they seem to resonate even though I didn't tell them anything about that. These are natural things that they have. They've got gratitude. They're willing to give to others and to themselves a chance to have success. They've got the grit during times when they know it's going to be challenging. They were willing to gear up their personal expectations, and they were also willing to get into action, even when they loss of identity, is the following. Number one, you're not alone. You don't have to go through it alone either. This doesn't have to be an individual sport. And even though short track speed skating for me was an individual sport,

and when I was receiving the medal, optically, it looked like I was the one who was only on the podium. The reality is there's an army of people behind me, and they are the ones who all have a piece of that metal. Just like anyone who's had success in business in their life, there's always been little droplets, sometimes bigger, of people and information and mentors and guidance and inspiration from many, many people. And so when you're going through this people. And so when you're going through this loss of identity, when you're going through reinvention and a hard pivot, it's time to start using that vulnerability and wearing it on your sleeve, owning it, knowing that there is millions

of people out there who are also in the same realm as you, but not only wearing the vulnerability on this side, but on this side, wearing the strength, the empathy, the gratitude, the grit, and knowing that these are the traits that make up the human experience. So while you're not perfect, and while this is painful and hard, it is temporary, right? We had to train four years of our life for a moment that lasted 40 seconds long. There was many times where I was considering and thought, is this the right path? Is this what I'm good at? Am I good enough? Maybe I'm getting too old. Maybe

the other team on the other side of the world is just genetically designed better for this sport. Maybe there's nothing that I can do that can be the best version of myself. And then you have to have the other conversation with the other voice and say, you know what? That voice is right. There's a lot of what ifs, but I don't have to live my life in that way. So as you go through the reinvention process, identifying your natural strengths, what do you love to do? Obviously, I'm a big reader. So Viktor Frankl is a huge proponent of finding purpose, right? So once you find your purpose, whatever that is, whether it's your family, whether it's to make more money, whether it's to get a promotion, it doesn't really matter.

Finding it, identifying it, using it, honing in on it, targeting it. And then two things. I'm going to use these sticky post-it notes because I use them all the time and I hold them up because they're on my desk to remind me, Adam, of the importance is, this is my ownership, right? Is look, and for those who are not, if there's no video here, so you can't see it, this says, don't think you are, know you are. Know it, feel it, emotionally become immersed in what that is.

Know that you are good enough. Know that you have the chance to win. You may not get the win. You may not get the metric you desire, but you have a chance. And that chance, that flicker of light is what you really require. And then after you go through this process and this kind of self-analysis, the second step is to say, okay, let's wipe away all the personal development. Let's wipe away all of the kind of guru talk around law of attraction. All that stuff is great, fine and dandy. Now you got to start focusing on this. Now you start focusing on process over the

prize. The prize is the target. Just like if you're a sniper and you're looking at a target on a bullseye, you know that's the goal is to hit that. But there's a whole series of processes that you should be concentrating on versus saying, I got to hit the target, I got to hit the target, I got to hit the target. That's irrelevant. We know, we've already established that. That's your goal. Your next method of action is to reverse engineer the steps. And by steps, we mean this can get down to the micro routine level. I know that you're a huge proponent of structure and routine to create the micro wins on a day-to-day basis. And until you change your mindset and shift into overdrive or shift into the high

performance mechanism area that everyone has, you won't be able to tap into that. So reverse engineering that goal and that metric and saying, what are the steps that I need to do today, right now, before lunch, before noon, that I know will set me up to have a successful day? That's how it begins, is it starts on the small stuff. You get the momentum. You get the wind. You start checking off things on your list of things that you know you have to do. It doesn't mean if you like them or not. And that's how you create the consistency and the reconditioning of what you once thought was normal

into the new paradigm of your version 2.0. And that's literally the recipe. I didn't make it up. That's the recipe. That's the science. I mean, I can't say anything more than amen, brother. I mean, when you look at deconstructing success, I think you hit the nail on the head here many times. You drove it into the board,

hitting the nail on the head so many times. With deconstructing success, the two quotes, don't think you are, know you are, and process over prize people. If, if they can look at those on a regular basis, and I encourage all of our listeners to do what Apollo has done, put them on sticky notes and stick them on your desk in front of you. That's the first thing I'm going to be doing as soon as we get off of this recording. But I want to throw one more curve ball at you that you've very subversively addressed. And I know you know the answer to this because you've overcome this.

But the reality is so many people in this day and age stop because they're afraid of other people's judgment on them, other people's opinions. I mean, give us a quick piece of advice for our listeners when you're sitting there going, yeah, this guy's firing me up. And then they walk out the door and they're like, somebody's going to push back because they're going to call me out for, you're not an expert. You're not an Olympic athlete, whatever it is. And they get pushed against and they immediately fold because of somebody else's opinion.

How do you deal with that and overcome it and just put it in the rear view mirror and not have to deal with it again? I'm really happy that you actually brought that up because those thoughts and those feelings about what may happen will probably happen. Someone will tell you that you were not good enough. And that person may be a family member.

That person may be close to you. And that's even more hurtful when you hear those things. You have to find an environment that you can create that lifts you in a way that didn't lift you before. And for those who feel like society gives them external signals of things that don't allow them to be the full version of themselves. I believe that our society is actually gravitating towards what I call this true radical authenticity. And we all know someone in our life, whether it's like the wild uncle who just can't stop just being himself. Like he's just so naturally himself and we love him for that.

And he just chuckles at himself because he's so authentic. You know, he can't just help, but to be just so outspoken. He'll tell you like it is. And the reason why we love and gravitate towards those people is because we see truth in that.

There's a lot of truth in someone who can't help it, but just being themselves. Even if it's not even a good person, we somehow just say, you know what? It's somewhat endearing associated. You can be the version of yourself. And so a lot of those conversations are happening between your own head and that, what if I don't want to offend this person? I get it. Workplaces can be sensitive environments and you have to have the emotional navigation system to be able to maneuver through that system. But at the end of the day, your life is a gift. Okay? I'll say it

again. Your life is a gift. And every day that you spend living it for someone else who doesn't matter in your life, you are wasting that day. If I had listened to every single person, Adam, who had told me that it was impossible to accomplish what we were trying to accomplish during the Olympic year, I would have never made the podium. I said, I want to be the lightest I'd ever been. I want to be 142, which is my body weight. I want to leg press 2000 pounds. And I had strength and conditioning coaches tell me that's not feasible. It's too light. You're going to lose too much power. If I had listened to those people and gone back and allowed that analysis to paralyze me, then I would have crushed my dreams. So your dreams are

exactly what they are. And you may not get them in its entirety. That's not what this game, this game is about playing it, how you play it on a day-to-day basis. And don't forget that your life is a gift. And the time that you spend with yourself, with your friends, with your loved ones,

your purpose for providing, whether it's to your community, whether it's to your family, whether it's for your for providing, whether it's to your community, whether it's to your family, whether it's for yourself, your personal drive, whether it's for your organization, your team, these things should be concentrated on. Don't be afraid to fall on your face. That is the least of your worries. Your only true judgment should be what happens when you don't hit the metric. What happens when you do fall on your face? Then everyone is watching. And as soon as you rise to your feet and you shake it off and you recalibrate and then

you re-engage, that's when people get the spark in their eye, even when they were critical before and say, wow, I want what that guy, I want what that woman is doing. That is pretty kick-ass. I want some of that in my life. To me, that's the American dream. That is being American is we'll find a way, we'll figure it out. We will find a solution in some capacity. It may not be the best solution, but we will find some sort of a solution. And then again, I know I keep harping on this, Adam, but man, life is so short. And with all of the elements around us that are constantly vying to steal our attention for micro minutes of the day, don't lose it. Don't lose sight of your purpose. Don't lose

sight of why you're here. I fail frequently. I get distracted very easily because of all these powerful opportunities that come into my life, interesting people and things. And so I've had to become very good at saying no. No, the main thing is the main thing. That's what I'm doing. That's what matters. The long game is important. It feels like everyone in the world is doing a hard pivot. Everyone in the world is doing X, Y, and Z. But you know what? The last mile, the last bit of performance and grit and time is where you separate yourself from everyone else. And it's not until you get to the last mile. Most people give up in the halfway mark. Most people give up before the halfway mark. Most people give up and they hadn't even started the race.

They haven't even taken the first step. Okay? So the fact that you can inch your way, keep going. It's not a sprint, man. This thing happens over time. Transformation is not easy. Change is hard for all of us, but it's proven. We can and we will. So that's my message to those who are thinking about those things and I hope it resonates. Wow. It certainly does. I mean, some incredible champion insight from you, Apollo. Hey,

where can our listeners find you on online, on social media, things like that to follow your journey and your message? Yeah. So I'm on Twitter at Apollo Ono, at Apollo Ono on Instagram. I've got my Facebook page up and then we have our website, apollo.com. All right. And that's A-P-O-L-O-O-H-N-O. All right. Apollo, I have a question. I mean, this has been just very fulfilling listening to the habits of a champion, the things that go through your mind and how you created the successes and the failures that you created in order to achieve the successes. So inspirational. Thank you. But our listeners have a question for you. And that's something that I ask everybody on the show. And that is, how do you champion, start your day with a win? My days are structured and I do essentially the same thing every single morning.

I rise and I grab my phone. I don't turn it off of, I don't turn it back on. It's usually, it's always an airplane mode overnight. I begin my process by just simple breathing, kind of resetting, realigning with my body and my mind. And then I begin to start my day by, I've got a routine of whether I make a hot beverage or a coffee or a tea, whatever it is. And I start the process of kind of assimilating these ideas around the goals that I set yesterday that I want to accomplish this morning. And it can be the micro-wins of maybe it's making the bed, maybe it's enjoying this hot beverage, maybe it's reviewing the goal sheet that I have and the task list that I've got in front of me today. And then also being intentional about how I would like the day to go.

That happens to be really important. So for example, this morning, I knew that we were going to spend time together. So again, my intention this morning was, well, how do I prepare my mind and this discussion with some potential ideas, thoughts, and also stories that will resonate with your audience? And how do I do so that they feel like this was time that was well spent? Because time is so finite. That's really important to me. So that intentionality begins at the start of my day. That began back when I was training many, many, many years ago, where every workout mattered, every training session mattered. And so the intention going into each workout was really

important to focus and sharpen and identify. And just like now, COVID has been so challenging for many of us. I'm talking to you from Los Angeles, California today. Businesses are still not open out here. They are still shut down. And so we are not having in-person formal discussions on a day-to-day basis. And every Tuesday turns into a Saturday. Every Saturday feels like a Wednesday. There's blurredday basis. And every Tuesday turns into a Saturday. Every Saturday feels like a Wednesday. There's blurred lines everywhere. And so it's really important for me to delineate each day and section them off into these small micro-winds. And my morning begins like that every single morning. And I'm pretty sacred about protecting that. It seems to be

really, really important to me. And there's days where I don't get to do some of those things and whether that's sitting and breathing and meditating or just calming my mind, to be completely frank and honest, to prepare for potential chaos to ensue throughout the rest of the day. And I know that when I took those wins in the morning, I'm prepping my mind. I'm priming my mind. I'm priming my body for what is to come, just like before a race. If you look at what athletes do 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes before they go to the start line, those are really important minutes right before. And if athletes are doing this, if servicemen and servicemen are preparing psychologically their mind before they go into battle, why should we be doing anything different? Our battlefield may

look different on the outside, but the battlefield's between our two ears. It's the same place. That's up to you. That's up to the listener. That's up to every single person who's hearing this message is switch from the passenger seat, get your butt over into the driver's seat, grab ahold of that steering wheel and start to take some control because once you do, it's confidence building. I mean, I would agree, right? Like when you win those things, this is something that makes me feel good and this makes me feel good, which makes me perform my best. And so that's what I need to do to perform my best. Unbelievable. Great message. I believe in so much of what you do that I do so much of it myself. So thank you for reiterating those points and really that structure

and that process. I mean, you hit on a process, it creates habits, the habits of champions, things like that. And we know it works. We know what works. It's just, will we do it in order to make those micro commitments to do the next one and the next one and the next day and the next week. So such an amazing time spent with you today, my friend. I mean, you've been a great friend of, of Remax. We're, we're happy to deliver your message and really look forward to hard pivot and, you know, really diving deep into that as well. So, uh, again, thanks for all you do. You're an amazing American, an amazing leader, an amazing champion. And, uh, thanks for starting with a win. Thank you. Thanks for having me. And thank you for

listening to start with a win. If you'd like to ask Adam a question or tell us your start with a win story, give us a call and leave us a message at 888-581-4430. Don't forget to go onto iTunes and subscribe, write a review and rate the show. And for more great content, head over to StartWithAWin.com, follow Adam on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. And remember, Start With A Win. in.