Start With A Win - The Importance of Being Coachable with Dermot Buffini

Episode Date: January 22, 2020

Dermot Buffini and his five siblings grew up in Dublin in a home environment steeped in entrepreneurship and treating people the right way. Their parents taught them to take pride in their work and have high personal standards, constantly considering whether they would be confident in putting their names on the job they had completed. These values sparked Dermot’s entrepreneurial spirit as a young adult and were the catalyst for his brother, Brian, to start his own real estate coaching company over 20 years ago. After Brian had been running with Buffini and Company for some time, Dermot hopped on board and the rest is history.Dermot has learned many business and coaching lessons first-hand, first from his parents, then as the founder of his own company, and now as the CEO of Buffini and Company. When it comes to finding clients through sales and marketing, he has found that you will attract people who share your values, and if you consistently build trust and act with kindness towards them, you will find your business growing. Providing value to clients and consumers through hospitality and generosity is the best way to build this trust and nurture relationships.Leaders should be self-aware enough to take charge by casting the vision and delegating the workload rather than taking control and diminishing the people they have surrounded themselves with. Dermot says that leaders would be wise to consider what they really want before feeling pressured into taking action that might not serve their broader goals. Like Adam, Dermot is a big proponent of leaders being coachable, saying that it is better to be humble than to be humbled. Admitting that you don’t have all of the answers and building up a network of people who can support you along the way shows true character and will ultimately lead the company in the right direction.Connect with Dermot:https://buffiniandcompany.com/https://www.thebrianbuffinishow.com/https://twitter.com/dermot_buffinihttps://www.linkedin.com/in/dermot-buffini-04316431 Connect with Adam:https://www.startwithawin.com/ https://www.facebook.com/REMAXAdamContoshttps://twitter.com/REMAXAdamContos https://www.instagram.com/REMAXadamcontos/ Leave us a voicemail:888-581-4430

Every day is filled with choices. You're here because you're choosing to start with a win. Get ready to be inspired, learn something new, and connect with the win nation. And live from the National Association of Realtors 2019 Conference and Expo at the Remax booth, it's Adam Conto, CEO of Remax. We start with a win. We are here with our amazing longtime friend and special guest, CEO of Buffini and Company, Dermot Buffini. How you doing, buddy? Good to see you, Adam. Nice to see you. Thanks for having me.

It's been a little while since you and I have caught up, so we get to do it right here at the Expo and on Facebook Live. So shout out to everybody out there on Facebook. Hey, guys. How are you? You are the CEO of the world's largest coaching company. Yep. How does that feel? Fantastic. You get to help people achieve greatness and be better all the time. I mean, what's the foundation for this? Let's take a step back. You immigrated here in 1999, right? I did. From Dublin? Yes, sir. Well, from London, actually. I went from Dublin and I went to London.

Okay. And I was there for three and a half years and I had my own business there. And a bit of background, you know, our family was in Ireland, painters and decorators. Right. I'm one of six, five boys, one girl. And so we grew up in business. So we always had a self-employed family, you know, feast or famine. There you go. And so I ended up going to London and I was there for a couple of years. Brian started Buffini & Company after being a successful agent. And then he systemized what he did.

People were really intrigued what he was doing and they were like, hey, I align with that philosophy. So he started this business. He was like, you should come over and you should work with me. And I said, well, I don't understand what you do. I don't know if it's going to work. So why don't you do that for a few years? You make payroll and stay out of jail. And then in a couple of years, I might come over and join you. So a couple of years later, I came to a seminar and I got to see what he did and I got to meet the people and I got to see the reaction and people said to me you know your brother's changed my life, your brother's changed my life

and I'm like this can't be real. He couldn't change his socks six years ago and now he's changing people's lives but it was real and it intrigued me and eventually I came over and I started in the grassroots of the company and I learned the business like yourself. I learned the business in the business and then I just took the next step.

And so that's how it got going. That's amazing. And you guys have always had high personal standards. I mean, in your painting business and your family. Brian would talk about, would you put your name on it? That's right. Well, when you grow up in Ireland, there's 3.8 million people in Ireland. Most of them are called Murphy.

Okay. So if you said, who did you wrong or who did it right by you, you could say, well, it was Murphy. Well, good luck finding the needle in the head. Go find Murphy. Well, your last name is Buffini. There's eight families in Dublin. And so our father told us, listen, you don't have any choice. If you're going to work for people or if you're going to serve people, you better do what you said you're going to do and do more. If you do great work, people are going to refer you, they're going to find you, they're going to value what you do, and you're going to stand out.

And conversely, if you do the opposite of that, you're going to be in trouble. So that's where the kind of mantra for us was, can you put your name to the work that you do? And so that was always the quality control. That was a question we were going to be asked before our father or grandfather came around to inspect the painting job. We knew it was coming.

So we wanted to make sure that the work would match up with the good nature. Because that's what was going to carry forward in our business. So your values. That's right. So obviously you and Brian and the rest of the Buffini clan had shared values coming out. And that directly translated to how you do business here. 100%. It's the same thing. And we attract people who share that same value.

You know, most people in this industry, they really want to do a great job for their clients. They want to do a fantastic job for their clients. They want to treat them like friends or family members. And we just get them to live that out. We get to structure it in such a way that they can actually deliver on that in a consistent way, in a professional way. At the end of the day, that's at the very core of working by referral. You don't get the next client. If you don't care, take care of this client.

We didn't invent referrals. It's been around forever. I think those values that people go, I want somebody to take care of me. Then folks in this business are like, I somebody to take care of me. And then folks in this business are like, I want to take care of somebody in an excellent way. And so we just systematize this. We teach people, but we attract people who share those values. We don't necessarily put those values in them. They already have that in their DNA. We just attract who we are, I think. And you live it. You walk in the front door of Buffini and Company and it's there.

It has to be because we forget, right? Our mission is right. When you walk in the door of a buffini company, you see our mission, to impact and improve the lives of people. To impact people is the easy part. People go to a trade show, they go to a seminar, they get excited, they're like, woohoo, this is it.

Life's never going to be the same again. The improving part is hard because a week later, you don't remember what you heard. And so we put it up everywhere and we talk about it all the time because we're no different than anybody else. We'll forget what business we're really in. So every decision we make, all the training we do,

all the investment we make as a company is towards the accomplishment of that mission, which is to impact and improve the lives of people. And if we haven't done that, we haven't done our job. And if we haven't done that, then we shouldn't get referrals. We keep it right in front of our noses because we're no different than anybody else. And conversely, when you do it, when you live it,

business happens. 100%. I mean, look, the thing about it is is that you find somebody who's really great at what they do and they care about you, you can trust them. And the thing about the United States is the market's so big and so vast that you can be okay and the thing about the United States is the market's so big it's so vast that you can be okay and make a living but if you're really good and you really care you'll have more

business than you know what to do with because people the value of finding somebody who cares about you and your family and you know look at the business that you guys are in. I mean, is there any higher calling than finding a great place and a great home for a family to live in, to have family over, to pray together, to create all those memories? Calling people to a higher standard. And honestly, there's not that far to go between ordinary and amazing.

It's just the consistency and the focus. There's not that far to go between ordinary and amazing. No. It's not a long journey. Let's get back to you. Sure. Let's talk about me. Let's talk about you, Dermot, and your history.

Looking at you, you show up here. Brian says, hey, come on over. I know Brian showed up here with like $5 in his pocket or something like that. And you come over and help him continue to build this business. And have you ever been the CEO of a company before? Well, I own my own company. Okay. So before coming over.

So I had a very good understanding of what it's like to be a really good salesman and not understand the business part. There you go. But if you don't have sales, nothing happens. Nothing happens without a sale. Right. And even worse, nothing happens without promotion. Correct.

But no, our background, again, for me, it was like watching my father try to make payroll, watching my father paying the men when I knew we weren't getting paid and what it takes to run a business. And I think that was in our DNA. And then I think for all of us, it was always, you know, applying those principles, regardless of whether you're going gangbusters or you've no work, you stay the same because that's the higher calling. And that's the thing that's going to outlast the season. It's the thing that's going to outlast the season it's the thing that's going to outlast the economy so for me you know i had run my own business but i really understood where my own personal gaps were right between being a sales guy and being a business guy and so when i came over to work with brian i just i started whatever the the lowest rung on the ladder was i started two rungs below it and i don't recommend anybody

working for a spouse because it's kind of like a hazing experience. Passive aggressive. Actually, it wasn't even that passive. It was just aggressive. And so I did everything because I wanted to learn the business from every aspect. And again, at the end of the day, same as yourself, right? How do you get to the top?

You better do well wherever you start. And that's- Work your butt off at the bottom, right? I always say to people, it's like the opportunity you have is the opportunity you have. Right. And people talk about, I want to get to the next level. I go, great, that's fantastic. What are you doing at this level?

Are you excellent? Are you investing in yourself? Are you learning? Are you doing all that you can do? My dad used to say to me, listen, if they pay you $10, you give them $20 worth of value. If they pay you $20, you give them $40 worth of value. they pay you twenty dollars you give them forty dollars worth of value bad companies will take advantage of a person like that good companies will go let's keep this person and let's give them more money but either way you win because you're already you're already doing that work at a forty dollar level and so you're ready

and you got the muscles and that's kind of always been our our mantra and our and at the end of the day it's not even with our company it's like we just constantly want to be better for our customers. There's always room to get better, not for perfection, but just to be better. That's our focus, and that's been my little journey. Your company builds out of referral-based and kindness. It's doing things, the pop-bys, the constant giving that happens. How is that built into your life? I mean, in Ireland, if you've ever been to Ireland, it's a hospitable place.

Oh, yeah. And please and thank you is the ultimate respect. I mean, you say hello and please and thank you. Little things like that are just a spirit of hospitality and generosity to show somebody else respect and kindness and i think i think that's in the culture and i think at the end of the day even now it's even more it's more valuable you know my kids are out for dinner and people are like oh my gosh your kids are amazing i'm like really i wasn't thinking that about two minutes before you got here why because they say please and thank you and they they say they order their

own food and they order their own food. Just little things like that where people feel like, hey, you see me, you acknowledge me, and who doesn't want that? So again, for us, it's about we enjoy what we do, helping people. It's hard to believe the opportunity we've had. But at the end of the day, as sophisticated as our business has become or as big as we've become or whatever else, at the end of the day, it always boils down to did we help anybody today and who's the next person we're going to help? And I think that's fun, right? That's great. Yeah.

I mean, if that's what you go around pursuing in your business every day, how can you lose? Totally. And it's no different to our clients. That's what they want to do. They want, with their life and their talents, provide more value to somebody else's life. That's what I believe. And it's an amazing thing. And, you know, to see the community of people that we get to serve,

it's just amazing what the impact they're having on their communities. To not only just serve their clients, but in actual fact to raise the professional level of how people value and perceive a realtor in the business as a person of value and trust. And that's really cool to see. See it pass along. So you and I were talking about that and the realtors in the community and combining that

with leadership because that's the beauty of this industry is we have, let's say, 1.4 million realtors. They have to be leaders. they have to be leaders. They have to be leaders in their community. You had to become a better leader every single day in growing your business because the next day something happens, your business is scaling, your leadership has to scale as well. Where do you think the leadership capability is in our industry

versus is it great where it's at or how can we make it better? I think that's a great question. I think that, you know, we talk to folks all the time. You get in, they get into a business, but not thinking about it as you are the CEO, you're the COO, and you're actually the CFO of the business, right? And so you get in and you're trying to get something going and you're a salesperson. You're just trying to make some sales, trying to get somebody to talk to you. You know, your phone, you get a voicemail and you're like, somebody called me. This is the greatest day of my life. Then you're a salesperson. You're just trying to make some sales, trying to get somebody to talk to you. You know, your phone, you get a voicemail. You're like, somebody called me. This is the greatest day of my life. Then you get a few sales, then you get a few wins,

then you get a few bucks, and then you got to take the next level. But that doesn't mean that you've grown as, you've got the business structure, the business infrastructure, like I didn't when I started my business. I knew I could go get clients, I knew I could start something good,

but I didn't have the next level piece. So I think that's where, first of all, realizing you're in charge, like you are the boss. And the fact that you're not going to do all of those things. Well, I'm, I think I'm a pretty decent CEO. I'd be a horrible CFO. I mean, they don't let me even in that department and they shouldn't, I'd be pressing buttons, stuff would be going everywhere. It's not good, but I want to be a great CEO. But I think at the end of the day, it's like, you're in charge. You know, the emotions of the client are not in charge. The economy is not in charge.

The circumstances of your life are not in charge. You're in charge. And I think at the end of the day, it's like, I can't lead anybody else if I can't lead myself. I think that's the leadership challenge anyway. It's like, if I can grow myself, then maybe I might be able to help somebody else through that process too and develop them to take over that leadership role. So I think we've got a ways to go. Right. But I think the first thing has to start with awareness and people going,

hey, I'm in charge. So let's call that the realization, okay? I'm in charge. You're in charge. These people are in charge of their business. We've established that and we go, all right, check. I've got it in my head. In other words, no one's coming to help you.

You've got to make some decisions here, right? What's the next thing? What do I need to do to put my next foot forward and take that step to be a better leader, to grow a business, to help the clients better? Well, I think number one is you can't lead anybody if you don't know where you're going. Okay. So it's like, what do you want?

So have a plan. Well, what do you want? So have a plan. Well, what do you want? Like even just start with what do you want? Okay. And then we can build a plan. All right. So a goal. What do you want?

And when we ask most people about what do you want, they're like, I don't know, actually. But if you ask them, so sometimes you start and say, what do you not want? Oh, that comes out quick. I don't want to be dealing with jackass clients. I don't want to be spending more than I make. Great. Let's write the opposite of that. And so first of all, say what you want. What do you desire?

Start with who am I? What do I want to do? What do I want to stand for? Who do I want to attract as a customer? And who do I want to attract to my team? Making that really clear because without clarity, you give no direction. So I think a plan and all that sort of stuff can come with a little bit of experience, a little bit of doing, a little bit of mentoring, maybe some coaching. But even meet with other people around business. So I think number one is saying, I'm in charge. What do I want? Why did I get into this business?

And at the end of the day, let me start off the right foot, not owned by the business, but I own the business. And the business is the vehicle for the things I want to accomplish because that's where I want to get to. And so I think it's just, I don't know about you, but leadership is not always a very sexy thing. Because ultimately, at some point, you stop pointing the fingers out there and all the fingers kind of go this direction. But like yourself, I kind of enjoy it. I feed off of that. I love that because once it starts going like this, we've got accountability. But it also gives people a chance to go, I don't have all the answers. Right.

You know, it's like, you know, the CEO is like people like, well, it's all on you. You know, you're the brave heart character. It's like, no, I got a great team. They know more than I know. And they're really skilled at what they do. And it's like, I'm going to redistribute the responsibility and the opportunity and play my role. And then trust them for what they do. Because the other side is the difference between taking charge and taking control.

Taking charge is I'm going to take responsibility for the direction we're going. I want to play my role. I'm going to do my part. But taking control limits your opportunity. Because this is control. Nothing can come in. And nothing gets out. Open it up like this and say saying here's what the vision is

here's what we're trying to do let's keep working towards impacting improving the lives of people and how do you think we can do that better and it just invites people into an environment that you just become a better leader because you got everybody in the game and i think i see our clients do that with their customers sitting down saying hey listen I want to do a great job for you in my business. Can you tell me about your experience with me? What did you like? What did I do well? What could I have done more of?

Because you learn from your clients and you learn things that you look at your marketing and go, oh my gosh this is so much better than what I'm putting in my marketing about myself. This is who I am. So I just think the leadership piece can even happen, you can develop as a leader by just asking your customers, what do you need from me? What do you not need from me? What do you value? What do you want more of?

You sound like a coach. I want to be, one day. Let's talk about this. I'm a huge fan of, a leader has to be coachable. If you're not coachable, you're not a leader. Let's just call it what it is. All great leaders have great coaches and they continue to seek to better themselves, but they have to be willing to hold up the mirror and explore where they're at. 100%. You run a coaching company. Yep. Largest coaching company in the world. You guys have an amazing podcast as well, fastest growing business

podcast, I think it is. Yeah, it's going good. What does being coachable mean to you and why should we care about that as leaders? Well, I think it's better to be humble than be humbled. I like that. I walk in the door every day and I ask Rainey, who's at the front desk, what's happening? Because every person I meet knows something I don't.

So as a coaching company, the challenge with being a coaching company or a guru or something like that is that at some point you kind of think that you know some stuff. And that, like, you're the answer man. And when you're at that spot, you're really dangerous. I personally have, I'm in more groups than telling you. I think I've got some issues. But I need to be. Because I learn from other people's experience. I'm in mentoring groups. I mentor people. I get mentored by

people. Hey, what do you think about this? There's days when I'm in the office and I go, somebody comes up and goes, what are we going to do with this? And I'm like, let me have a think about that. I go into my office, lock the door, get up on the couch and just curl up for a little bit. And then I go, well, maybe somebody knows about this. Maybe somebody's seen this before. Maybe that's not this big of a And then I go, well, maybe somebody knows about this. Maybe somebody's seen this before. Maybe that's not this big of a deal. I'll pick up the phone to somebody and say, hey, somebody I respect, somebody I know,

somebody who's done something, somebody I share the values with. And I go, what would you do if you were in my position? And nine times out of 10, I go with what they say. Because they're not emotionally attached to it. They're not defensive about the last decision I made. That was wrong. I just think, as you said, 100%, if you're not coachable, it. They're not defensive about the last decision I made that was wrong. I just think, as you said, 100%, if you're not coachable,

something's going to coach you. It might not be what you want and it might not be where you want to go to. So we, myself, Brian, our team, we are always looking for an outside perspective because, you know, Jack Nicklaus, I'm a golf fan. Jack Nicklaus is the number one golfer in the world for years. Probably the greatest player I ever played. And Jack would get a golf lesson every three days. And people said, Jack, why do you get golf lessons? I mean, you're killing everybody. You're winning British Open. You won 18 majors. And he said, because I can't see where my hands are at

the top of the backswing. And what you think and how it feels, I can't see back here, but a coach can. And a couple of small adjustments make a huge difference. So we've learned from you guys. We've learned from Dave Linegar. We've learned from, there's so many people to learn from. It just makes us better. And we have to be coachable too, if we're going to coach other people. I love that. That's amazing. On a start with a win, my podcast, which we're, we're broadcasting live right now. A couple of questions. Your favorite quote?

I have a couple. My mother is a quote machine. All right. And she used to have one, you know, and I hate it. And I think probably every parent has told their children. Now I'm telling my children, which is, you know, show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are. I think it's true. Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are.

That can work good and bad. And then another great Irish philosopher, Conor McGregor, deep waters. Conor, he is deep waters actually. He said, you know, you're either winning or you're learning. And I think that there's no losing if you're learning. I like that quote. And then I hate to do this because he's my brother. but he has a few quotes himself one of the things Brian has said and I've heard him said over which is

just being yourself is good enough to be great and I think that's true I think if we can all just become a better version of who we are and really trust in the gifts and talents and abilities maybe God's given us I believe he has that we can become great. So there are three.

But if you want more, call my mother. She's got a load of them. Dermot, how do you start your day with a win? I try to win it as early as I can. So my assistant, I have an amazing lady, Kristen Davis, and she loved working with me so much she moved to Virginia from Carlsbad to Virginia

and she said, do you think we could make this work? and I said, I think we'll give it a go so I agreed to it but I forgot that she's three hours ahead of me so my day starts with a call at about 6 o'clock but here's what's fantastic about that we're already working in the future she's in the future and she's working ahead

so I try and start early I generally like to know where I'm going that day what I'm doing I want to make sure I try and do my head work in the morning between 9 and 12 between 6 and 9 I want to get my head and heart ready and I want to do something that sets me up for the day read something listen to something I do a lot of breakfast in the morning with people like the mentors and people are connecting with people and then 9 o'clock it's go time and i try to get the most head work that has to be done between 9 and 12 because i don't know about you but after lunchtime i'm

i'm not much use to anybody i don't think and then i try and i personally i finish my day at around three or four o'clock with a workout and i go to a trainer and then that's how i transition out of the day so that's kind of my routine but the win for me is knowing what you're going to do before you get there. Have an intentionality for the day, an intentionality for every meeting and win it as early as you can. Because at the end of the day, if I win the day by nine o'clock in the morning, I take the rest of the day off. That's a win. Let's go. I love it. So that's what I try and do. I love it. Thanks so much for being with us here today uh ladies and gentlemen help me give a big round of applause to ceo thank you very much thanks a million great to be here thanks for being on start with a win awesome

thank you so much for listening to start with a win if you'd like to ask adam a question and potentially be on our next episode give us a call and leave us a message at 888-581-4430. Don't forget to go on iTunes and subscribe, write a review and rate the show. For more great content, follow Adam on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. And remember, start with a win.