Stavvy's World - #102 - Eric Rahill and Katy Fullan

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

Eric Rahill and Katy Fullan join the pod to discuss LET’S START A CULT (available to rent or buy on VOD on Nov. 12!!), all the deaths Eric has witnessed in his life, doing improv on a cruise ship, being a young kid on Vyvanse, designing prisons, and much more. Eric, Katy and Stav help callers including a woman dating a grown man who pops off from just kissing, and a trans man who wants tips on how to be more masc. Watch LET'S START A CULT on VOD 11/12!! Available to buy or rent at https://stavvy.biz/movie Discover personalized ED treatment options at Hims. Start your free online visit at https://www.hims.com/stavvy  Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code STAVVY for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. More info at https://www.gametime.co/ Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVVY to score $200 IN BONUS BETS INSTANTLY when you bet just $5. For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Follow Eric Rahill on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ericrahill/ https://www.tiktok.com/@eric_rahill https://x.com/ericrahill Follow Katy Fullan on social media: https://www.katyfullan.com/ https://www.instagram.com/katy_fullan/ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

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to speak to an advisor free of charge. Mid-MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Opa! Welcome everybody to Stavie's World. 904-800, Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. Very special episode.

We're in a fuckin', another new studio. We're Nomads, and we have, I'm happy to have the very funny Eric Rahill, Katie Fullen here, from by now, the smash indie hit. Right. Incredible. Let's start, we're on People Magazine by now. Taking over the world.

People are lined up. Vanity Fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. By the time this this comes out we were honestly the most famous people probably, you know in America, I think Eric's dating Dua Lipa right now It's fucking awesome. I'm trying it out. Yeah She's excellent I'm so happy for you, but there's actually a love triangle because I'm also dating her So that's kind of drama right for us, but that's what happens when you're on a rocket ship

Okay, is Albania and Greece get along no that's what that's the heart that my mom is so pissed. Yeah That I'm fucking do a leap on the side while you also fuck her as a result of the great success of our movie Let's start a cult right let's not let's all not lose sight of where this riff began. That this movie is now super successful. And it's, yeah, fucking, it's broken Nia Vardalos' record. She's actually legitimately riff over. I respect Nia so much, because My Big Fat Greek Wedding,

number one grossing, the most profitable romantic comedy of all time. Is that true? Legitimately true. Wow. Yeah, she just did it herself, and it was a complete, we honestly are trying to do the My Big Fat Greek Wedding playbook with our movie.

Yes, Eric and Katie are both in the film, they're super funny, and we just decided, you know, this is the month of getting people from the fucking movie on. We had Wes and Daniel on. Daniel told some great stories of his time of growing up in Norway or wherever the fuck. And I think we either have already had

or are about to have Edie and Claire on, so you know. That'll be amazing. I love Daniel saying just anything. He sounds so good. He goes like this, wow. Yeah, wow, Nati's crazy. He was opening up by the end of the pod. He was like nervous to do a pod.

You should have seen the text. I had to coax him. No, Daniel. It's the hardest I've ever worked to get a guest on the podcast. He didn't want to do it? He was just like, you know, I think he was a little nervous, but he crushed it. He was so fucking funny.

And he was great in the movie. We just watched the movie in theaters, in a theater with people. It was fucking sick. It was right down the road. Have you guys ever watched yourselves in a, I've never done that. Not a feature. It feels like fucking shit, I would say.

I mean, a great move, really fun movie, but it feels like shit watching yourself. It does feel weird, because the whole time I was like nervous, being like, I hope that hits. But like when you get a nice one, when you get a nice big laugh, that feels good. Yeah when you're not expecting it totally like oh cool I thought that sucked but the audience liked it. Yeah

We're doing this nice we're you know, we can't accept love you guys watch the movie that's what's important It's available to rent or purchase on VOD right now Dude Dubai freaks me the fuck out so much. I know but it feels like it freaks me out But I can tell that if I landed there it would feel like home immediately It freaks me out, but I can tell that if I landed there, it would feel like home immediately. I mean, you would fit right in somehow. Shoulders relaxed. What kind of job do you think you'd have

if you worked in your car? I think I would just be an entertainer. Oh, wow. One of the biggest white entertainers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Whenever. I, one time I opened for Eddie Griffin and he, I don't know if it was Dubai or Saudi Arabia, or I mean, is that in? You were over there? No, I don't know if it was Dubai or Saudi Arabia or I mean is that in you were over there no I wasn't oh but he was he like some fucking Sultan or some this is racist it's probably a different title some Sultan big turban no no no no no I think it was a lot I think it was Jasmine's father from Aladdin hired him no some guy him, paid him like 200,000, I get, whatever, a huge amount of money to do comedy at like his daughter's like birthday party.

And it's like this guy's like 20 year old daughter's a big Eddie Griffin. That's not, that can't be real. I don't know man, I believe it. I believe it but I can't believe that she's getting an Eddie. She might be dude, she might be be Wow. He's got some bangers He was crazy eyes in the movie the loser right you know that one DJ quals I haven't I haven't seen it Or the new guy the new guy I'm sure they're amazing dude. Yeah, those are Elijah dusch goo trying on bikini scene That it was very crucial to my upbringing as a boy that your most nodding his head produce super producer Moe No mic for you. No, he's off camera. He's these he's too shy to be on camera

But so the super producer Moe knows it maybe it's because didn't you grow up like weirdly religious or so? Yeah, so no jacking off for young Eric. That's not true. I was going crazy on it. Crazier than anyone's ever done it. Double handers. Wow, brag. No, no, it's not bragging, it's just truth.

No, yeah, I was getting it in. That's awesome, Dave. In Seattle or somewhere around there? Yeah, North of Seattle, Washington State. I guess I didn't think of people being, I just think of the Pacific Northwest being like, you know, fucking free spirits, not weird religious people. It's mostly atheists, but they're just small.

I don't think of it, were you Christian? Yeah, extremely Christian, yeah. Extremely Christian, that's awesome, dude. How much church are we going to? Nonstop church, I grew up going to... Wednesday mass and shit? No, it was like evangelical. I went to evangelical school.

Oh wow. I went to church on Sunday. That was gonna be my next question. That's fucking awesome. Youth group. When 9-11 happened, my teacher in fourth grade was like, the end is coming. The morning of, she was like,

it's time to rejoice because it means that Jesus is coming. Well, that's the craziest part. Positive spin. Yeah, she's like, this is what they're talking about in Revelation. Those people are so fucking insane. A crazy part about, you know,

we're not gonna get too political here, folks, but it's so funny about how much of our fucked up policy in the Middle East is evangelicals thinking they can trick God into coming back if Jews and Muslims are fighting in the whole world. Like, they literally believe that. They think once a holy war happens, God comes back. And that's so insane to think that some fucking senator from Nebraska voting Yeah for an arms bill will make will in some way influence the almighty God

Fucking coming back. It's crazy. Yeah, I couldn't I was I was ready for the rapture But I also it was when those left-behind movies were coming out I was like, wanted it to come. But it was one of those Left Behind movies were coming out. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you good either way? No, I thought I would be, because I would be cranking and jerking it. And then I'd be like, this is going to keep me on earth.

And I'm going to have to, I don't know, run the household. Because my parents and brother got taken away. Yeah, they're closed. They don't put a pile on the ground. I love the pile of clothes. It's so sad. In the tree, yeah. But you were like, I can't.

There were points, before you were jerking off, there were points where you were like, I'm going to heaven straight away. Like, were you pumped for heaven at any point? I would have, I don't know, I never thought I would make it. Because even when I was like eight, I would have dreams of like the Holy Spirit coming out of a table in my living room damning me to hell. I would have like dreams of driving in our minivan and God's fist would like a cloud return into God's fist

and like punch the fuck out of our car, killing us. I had a dream. I feel like you've seen more like death and dead bodies than I've heard. I am surrounded by death. What we were doing, we were doing the movie every day you had a new story about someone who died I don't think they were this the same story the same dead bodies They were like it was organic because we would just be like at a lake like I think you got one line

The line in the mood that made to the movie is something that you watched or you saw you knew boys that drowned in a Lake to boat well these are boys that I used to play World War II with, like at my church, running around shooting sticks, and you know, shooting with guns, stick guns, and one brother was drowning, another one jumped in to try to save him, and they both got taken. Jesus fucking Christ.

That's so, that's like, you always hear the heroic brother that saves the brother story. You don't hear the like, oh, we went 0 for 2. We couldn't keep our losses at one. We had to fucking go over 2. It was a big risk. Damn, dude. And is that why partially you were like,

well, God's gonna destroy our mini-fan too. I think so, yeah. I was just surrounded by horror. Yeah. What's the first time you remember someone dying? What's your first memory of death? First time I remember someone dying was on a mission trip. That you were on? No, I was on.

Oh my fucking God, that's awesome. How old were you? Well, this was like, the death started rolling in around 16 and it didn't stop. And basically, we went on this mission trip, and this is when I started having problems with God, is we went to a Native American reservation out in Montana, and the conceit was to get all these white kids to go to like a powwow and pick up trash and just wear shirts that had scripture on them. And hopefully, we're hoping that we'd be noticed enough.

Be like, where are all these white Christian kids? We should be Christians. That's awesome. I mean, your church group is so stupid. They could not have picked a less welcoming population. No, they fucking hated us. And sometimes they'd see us and just drop trash right in front of us.

Oh no I mean native American like go to a foreign country where they could use the help Native Americans are in a shitty place because of exactly these people Yeah, literally Because of fucking the use from the 1700s And not that far removed like our grandparents Yeah I mean

Incredible So, but we would like host shit at the church in the area And we got close with these two kids and on the second to last night of the trip They got in a drunk driving accident both dead And they woke us up in these tents in the middle of the night Mm-hmm, and the the youth pastor did we got summoned into the church and he goes like so just you know like Tony and Mike passed away tonight, and they're like, but he's like, you know,

it might be hard to hear this, but that's God's plan. That's going to be bringing a lot of people to the church and you know, people will be excited for this. God was the one who put that much Bacardi 151 in his sister. God was the one who let them find some Alize in the bushes and fucking take it to the Dome. It's awful. Yeah. And literally I became atheist so fucking fast right after that. Yeah. What about any religion over there? None at all. None. None. I mean my mom is Catholic so she's like, you know, guilt tripping, stuff like that. Classic guilt stuff.ripping sure like that classic guilt stuff

Yeah, the best of is we talked a lot. I feel like you and I talked a lot about this making the movie my dad Yes, more dad. Yes. Yes. Yeah, my daddy Didn't like religion and he would say that he was God. Yeah far as I was concerned That is power that My dad my dad I never bought any of his claiming he was, but he was very similar in that he was just... The reason it felt like he had a family was because he needed one place

where people were forced to respect him. They had to do everything. By, like, law. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And economic control. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, my dad one time was like, he was like, I don't remember exactly what led into it, but he was like, oh, I went to the,

I was like, what do you even, you don't even know what the fuck you're talking. He was like, with that age, where you're like, I actually think you're not smart. I've learned enough of the world, and I'm pretty sure you're wrong. And he was like, yeah, I didn't need to go to no fancy university.

I went to the university of the streets. It was like. My dad was always saying stuff like that. They're like, even with like nutrition, Yeah, I didn't need to go to no fancy university. I went to the University of the Streets. My dad was always saying stuff like that. Even with nutrition, he'd be like, no, doctors don't know. He was early in that movement where doctors don't know what they're talking about. Your brain needs fat. That's awesome.

So you need to have a whole nother one. What's he on right now? What was his vaccine stance? Not vaccinated. Nice. Not vaccinated at all. None of them are. Respect?

I was very surprised by that. Yeah. But yeah at all. None of them are. Respect? I was very, yeah, I was surprised by that. Yeah. But yeah, we don't surprise anyone. My dad was also pretty like, and my dad has no, see the thing is your dad had some weird, I don't know where my dad not wanting to get vaccinated came from, but he was, I mean, probably just- Because I'm pretty sure my dad has every other vaccination.

Yeah. I don't know why this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now my dad, and he would like, there was a period of time where it was like, and all his friends are insanely unhealthy Greek men. Half of them were in the hospital. Like half of them literally were on incubators and shit

or whatever the fuck that breath, what the fuck are those shits called? Is it an intubator? Yeah, yeah. Michael S. Moe says yes. Yeah, the man of mystery, Michael S. Moe, I like this. Little theater of the mind, you guys fill in, what's Moe look like?

You know what I mean, this is good for the- I'll just say he's sexy as fuck. He's a fucking piece of ass, yeah. And God didn't want him here, we talked about that early on. He was a two day birth. No, he had to fight every second. 48 hour birth, had a hole in his fucking lungs. Reach.

Yeah, fucked his mom's pussy all up. Yeah. 48 hours of pushing. That's all right, man, it's all worth it. As we said before, it's all worth it to bring us this beautiful podcast space. This wouldn't be possible if Moe's mother didn't suffer. She suffered for this, folks, so share the link.

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prescriptions require an online consultation with a health care provider who will determine if appropriate restrictions apply see website for details and important safety information Subscription required. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. God forbid you fucking scroll up, eldest, you fucking prick. Get hims today, folks. Yeah, I do remember I had a very similar thing where, because I grew up Greek Orthodox. And Greek people are not religious, but you could if you were just a dumb kid who, like my dad's whole thing about religion was like, he didn't really, he's just like, this is what you have to do kind of thing. But I just, you go to church and like, why would I doubt what people

are telling me? This is fucking, and you smell incense. It's kind of trippy. Damn, you had the ritual. Oh dude, I was an altar boy. You had like the swinging thing, right? Doing this shit, and I remember being like like Easter services Yeah, because we were you know we would go like to Sunday school. Oh my gosh all dressed up dressed up But I remember I remember Easter all week this church and as an altar boy that was like you want to get that That's a plum assignment Right because you felt good having that responsibility. It was it was it was a couple things it was like good having that responsibility? It was a couple things.

It was like, I still really believe that some shit was real, even though they really didn't teach us scripture or anything. It was more just like, just listen to God, kind of shit. Like, I don't have any, like, other people that grew up kind of more religious, like, I'm sure you know so many verses and shit like that. I did, I lost a mom and a daughter.

Do you know all the songs? Like, did you sing all those like creepy Christian songs? Oh, hell of them. Oh yeah, what was your favorite? I used to have to go see Christian hymns in a nursing home. That was actually the first time I ever saw death. I know.

I know. I know. He's singing to a dying man. He passed away like while we were in the room with him. Oh. That's beautiful. What the fuck, how old were you? Nine, eight or nine.

Do you remember the song? Yeah, it's like, Joy, Joy. How does it fucking go? My heart is full of joy. Joy, okay, nice. Shit like that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all the, you go into the Alzheimer's wing

singing these things and these people are, you know, it's being taken by that mental illness. Of course. Disease and, but then they hear that and they come back. It's like they're 30, you know, 25 years old again. They're singing it It was like a church. It was a Christian nursing home. Yeah called Christa Christa Ministries interesting. Yeah. Yeah, very nice. Yeah, they just popped back up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're back in Damn, what do you think they were up to? Huh? Oh up in there? Yeah, I don't know

Do you think they got up to? Huh? Oh, up in there? Yeah. I don't know. You think they got up to anything freaky? I bet they did. That's what they say. I think they got crazy. What about the Christian one though? You think the Christian one got freaky?

I think at that age, there's no more sin. You can't sin anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fair game. After 90, there should be no more sin. Right, right. I agree. It would be fun if like old people

were just committing crimes on the way out. Why not? Why not? Yeah. That is, yeah, that's so fucking funny. The evangelical shit is so crazy, but I remember being like, oh yeah, to the Easter thing.

You wanted that assignment because if you felt, first of all, I was a show off, and it's like everyone goes to Easter service, so it's like, you're fucking, everybody's just like, you're holding the fucking, like. You're holding the most people there. You're holding the little thing, you're looking fucking sick.

What is it, like a scepter or a chalice? Yeah, so it would be like, okay, actually this is good. Let's break it down. There'd be like the two little lantern. It would be like, it actually was like, there was three levels of shit you could hold and we would frame the priest, right? He'd come out, fucking big ass book,

and then the little dick shit is the like lantern, right? Little kids get the lantern, right? He'd come out, fucking big-ass book, and then the little dick shit is the like lantern, right? Little kids get the lantern, fuck that shit. Then there's like, I don't know, some kind of fan, golden, kind of like a halo type shit, metal thing. That's pretty good. That's a nice assignment to have. And then the last one, when you really swing your dick around, is the cross. Only one cross. Only one cross and it goes on the right, the right of, I literally don't remember, probably the right side. And so that, you're really on an island there.

Because it's two pairs of guys. Then there's the cross guy. When I was the cross guy for Easter. How did you get that cross? What'd you have to do to get that? Paid my dues, dude. Stuck around. Chilling.

You know what I mean? Went to the ones no one wanted to. You know what I mean? They're early ones no one wanted to, you know what I mean? They're early, leaving late, you know? But the nice thing is, and even listen, even the Halo's not bad. Look, Easter service just to be on the starting team is an honor.

Did you feel like when you were a kid, were you embracing it and actually believing these things or were you like performing? It was definitely a mix. That's the thing that was weird. It was a mix of, I just loved, you love the attention. Attention, yeah, eyes on you. But also it's like they're telling you this is God, right?

And you're like, damn sick. And also when you, there was like, I had some like my aunt who I loved passed away when I was like too young to question shit. So for a while I was like, well, the only way I get to fucking away when I was like too young to question shit So for a while I was like well the only way I get to fucking See my aunt again is if God's real and I'm like, you know what I mean? Like so there's like a little element of that and I remember being like in Easter Being like smelling incense and shit and kind of like trying to be like oh fuck

I feel the whole like trying to trick myself. Yeah in the end for moments I was like I did feel kind of like a special kind of like weird vibe, but it's like, that's probably in your head. You know what I mean? The incense prop, but how do you know? And yeah, and then also I hate that as the older I get, I start believing in shit like energy.

You know what I mean? Like I hate that. I fucking hate that I, but like a room full, like in a church packed as shit, people praying, I do think there I fucking hate that. But like a room full, like in a church, packed as shit, people praying, I do think there was something going on. There's gotta be. There's gotta be a little brain wave-wise.

I think any time a group of people get together, there's like. So I'm in there and I'm like trying to be like, yeah, that's God. What I'm feeling right now is God. But then the other part of it is like, in the altar, it's you and your boys. Most of, like everyone else is at church

having to fucking be quiet and shit. And we couldn't talk loud, but it's like, you and your boys in like, our Greek communion is actual bread, it's not crackers. So it's like, they would have a big ass loaf and they would cut this, they would make just perfect square pieces. So you get all the trimmings of the bread.

So we're just eating fucking, we're just fucking munching bread cores. Like brotherhood. Just fucking around. And they're like, you're fucking crazy. Trying to get the person to get in trouble. You know, so it was like. That's the hardest you'll ever laugh.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Tripping someone. What's up with getting mad at you for laughing? And then the old guy, there's some devoutly priest helper guy. And the deacon, there was this fucking, this poor guy was just some fat guy that no one respects. I mean, the priest was fat as shit, I was fat, half the altar boys were fat.

But this guy's that kind of pathetic, traditional fat guy of just weak, had narcolepsy, had narcolepsy so he would just be talking to you and then just go like. The narcoleptic deacon? Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Just fucking with him was awesome.

Yeah. We had another deacon that stole from the church. There's always one. There's always at least one. It was awesome. But yeah, anyway, all that to say was that, yeah, and then like a really, like one of the truly only good people that I grew up around got like inoperable brain cancer, like nine months before his grandson was about to be born,

or like, you know, like as soon as his daughter, his daughter was trying to have kids and they finally had one, and he just gets horrible fucking, and I was like, wait a second. Yeah, another thing. This is bullshit. He was like, a second Bullshit Every Greek man I knew was a piece of shit except for him like all my friends dad

I was like horrible, and he was the only one in like who was a loving husband and father and he's Like the worst guys of all time or fucking just hanging out in the coffee shop Yeah, running illegal poker games out of their garage just hanging out in the coffee shop, running illegal poker games out of their garages, cheating on their wives with this guy. It fucking sucks. So I was like, oh, yeah, fuck this bullshit. All those rituals, like the relics, the items, the sceptres,

back in the Middle Ages, that was used to impress the peasants who only had wood and fucking hay. Makes so much sense, dude, and it worked on me. Now there's so much cool shit in the modern world. That is true. The church is behind. You're so right. So if the church got crazy tech that we can't understand.

They need Elon Musk's little robots, dude. Like AI and like cool stuff. They need fucking alter robots. But you're right, that's the equivalent. That's the equivalency. It would be like, you kind of get why Joel Osteen and those motherfuckers are like in these big mega churches that are, they're coming down from the fucking rafters.

Like Peter Pan. Like that's so funny, it's just like the biggest room you've ever seen and that's all it takes. Yeah. God, this room is so big. Yeah, God must've wanted this to exist. God's gotta step up if he wants to come back in America. I agree.

You know what I mean? I agree. 9-11 didn't even do it? Yeah, no, just for a second it did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We need something worse. We need something worse. Or better, I mean I agree 9-eleven didn't even do it. Yeah, no that was a good second it did yeah We need some worse Fucking horrible is coming. Oh, I think we're gonna see I have a prediction right now Something we are gonna see something in our lifetimes that is more horrible than what we're seeing now. Oh, much, much, much more horrible.

It's awful right now. I remember this. You actually had this take during the movie that we were going to see something that our brains can't comprehend, right? I do remember. Isn't that what you were saying? I remember saying that, but I do think that's coming.

Yeah, like our brain, body, and spirit just can't pull it. It's going to be so horrible and weird that it's going to be upsetting, but it will be upsetting on a level that melts our brains, like that we won't have the faculties to understand what's going on. I pray for something like that. I want something interesting to happen again. I mean, horrible things are happening right in front of our faces. It would just kind of like yank the hook, too. Like, it can't be a nuke. We don't want to worry about all this or anything. Yeah, yeah. You just get to happen again. I mean, horrible things are happening around in front of our faces. It would just like kind of like off the hook too.

Like you can't be a nook. Like you can't be a nook. Or anything. Yeah, yeah. You just get to pass away. Right. No, it would be something that completely shows the futility of our lives and our world.

Like something like that. That I pray for. Please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want something to cut through this dimension, crack it open. We see God in a way. It's like we see different crazy 3D shapes,

but it's like actually a different dimension that we can't understand. You're saying like not in a good way, in like a horror like shock to the system. Not like a celestial. Every human being seeing it at once. Yes, that was another thing. It's a communal thing.

I remember you saying that. It would be something that we all experience collectively and have no power over, cannot control. Be like an asteroid or something, right? Even that though, I feel like is within our, he's talking about. That's within our understanding. Incomprehensible, yeah.

You got a word for it. Even aliens, I think aren't, they're close. No, I feel like aliens are kind of. A little passe. A little passe, we know they're there. Although what if it was an alien, Not enough. Aliens are kind of. A little passe. A little passe. We know they're there. Although what if it was an alien, like it's an alien,

like everyone, we show our lack of imagination, we think it's like a fucking human looking thing. Yeah, I know. Just with the green, it's green and has a big head. But if we had some kind of like fucked up slime that came from, you know, even. That would do it. Or even a mist.

Just the energy. Like a fucked up energy that just makes us feel bad. What if that's what a like there's so little they don't our brain well, they could be fucking right They could be the size of a pixel, you know Pixels we understand I do think about like, you know, how about you know, that Jim Carrey thought he was gonna die. You know this, that he thought there was a missile alert that these missiles were headed towards Hawaii. And he thought he was dead for like 30 minutes.

And he said that he just sat and watched the Hawaiian sunset and like, thank God for everything that had happened to him. I want something like that to happen to me. Yeah. Please, if I could get that once a week, I'd be feeling good. But to really believe it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Please, if I could get that once a week, I'd be feeling good. But to really believe it. Yeah, well, I'll be so scared.

Don't you think eventually it would wear off? Maybe. Eventually your ability. But when's the last time you were hella scared? I haven't been scared in a second. You know what I mean? Maybe like a plane with horrible turbulence. That was last time.

You know, something like that. It's good to feel fear. Yeah. Is it? We used to be afraid as like, you know, early humans, we were afraid every fucking day. Yeah, yeah. And then, I don't know, I think there's something to that.

I think it's good to feel fear for actual reasons. What's fucked up is we feel like the level of we're about to die fear because you have to, they forgot your order and you have to ask the waitress to put bacon on your burger. The steaks are different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't like something, you have to tell someone about it.

Yeah, like oh no. I actually had the fucking, oh. I had the, I took some breakfast L's this morning headed over here and I saw, I saw just the most obnoxious LA like, like you think you're gonna see like a rich guy in like a much younger, like a sugar daddy, sugar baby. You think that's gonna be everywhere.

And you think in your head, distinguished rich guy, maybe not the hottest guy, but handsome, and then like just the hottest woman you've ever seen in your life. And dude, I saw just the most obnoxious, lowest level of that at this fucking brunch place. Where this guy was just like, kinda like the deacon, fat as shit,

you know what I mean? Kinda had like a Cee-Lo, a Cee-Lo green vibe going. Like really, really bootleg Cee-Lo. He's got the worst build I've ever seen. Just tough build dude. And this guy was kinda, actually, was it Cee-Lo? He was kinda, no, CeeeeLo can do better than this. He was kind of dressed like CeeLo, had a turtleneck,

like truly horrible, like whatever, what he was wearing, not right for his frame. He was like, he was wearing like a turtleneck and he just looked like a round ball. He could like, like, grew, he was kind of dressed like grew. Same proportions, just weird singing, like kind of trying to peacock, like singing along to the music.

I'm sat right next to them. And the girl he's with is just not hot and acting obnoxious. Has that like talking that baby voice type of shit. She's also, you know, much younger than him, but not like young. You know what I mean? And like some bad fillers going on, like kind of busted. He's like 33.

Yeah, exactly 33. A nice age. A good age, but like busted, and like this is what happens. They get there, their breakfast comes, right? And by the way, this place sucked. I had to, I like, whatever. I had a bad time, but their food comes out. He orders over medium eggs. they come out hard fried.

She, or no, I'm sorry, he orders over easy, they come out over medium. She ordered over medium, they came out hard. Immediately they're like, this is, how dare they? They fucked our order up. And they're like, and it takes them, they don't put it together. That he could have given her his over medium eggs

and just asked for over easy ones. It takes them maybe like 12 minutes to put that together. No waitress at the site. But they do do it. They don't, well, so he's like, oh wait, I could just give you, and she's like, I'm not having cold eggs. And it's like, they're right.

That's very LA. They're right. That's like the great. What the fuck are you talking it's like, they're right there. That's very LA. They're right there. That's like the gay-disexual. What the fuck are you talking about, bitch? Can I tell you, though, that I feel comforted by the fact that these people are real? Yeah, well, that's where I, it's fun to see them for real. Yeah.

Because like, it is, yeah, because, and also to see them, the shittiest version of them. Yeah. And then this guy, now that she's acting cunty, he's like, well, now I have to have a fucking power Like now my this woman I need to show dominance to the waitstaff Because now cuz then she's like I'm embarrassed and then she's like I'm not exactly. Yeah He's like how dare you and then she's like and I'm not touching my steaks

I'm gonna touch the rest of my food until the eggs come and by the way this guy's she got steak and eggs That's taking eggs Looks kind of good. Good for her. Anyway, they're about to talk to the waitress and I just get up, because I'm like, I can't be around these people. Like, I can't watch what's about to happen. I'm going, because I also hated the waiter,

the wait staff, because I had been there for 15 minutes and no one had given me like water. So I was like about, and I knew myself, I hate everyone involved and I'm sitting right next to them. I would have fucking, I would have piped up in a fucking weird way. I would have been so pissed, I'm hungry. I was like, I have to just, and I just got up and left.

But it was fucking, yeah, it was just the most beautiful LA, like these people are pieces of shit. These people don't exist anywhere else, I don't think. I think it is unique to this city. It was awesome though, and it's like, just imagining like it Them fucking too is disgusting Like going back and like a secondhand Casper they got the nice bed, but it's like more secondhand than you think

How is this guy rich to even be at it's a funny place people are still trying to become and They think they're kind of being they think they're like behaving the way they should to write. Well that's what I that's what I admire is that like I kind of had thought that you see could tour your style mall rat people were gone. Yes. They passed away years ago. But then you come here and they're in it and they're so proud of it. Oh yeah. You just, I'm almost like, I'd like to be friends with a few of them. Cause I don't know any. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, that's the thing. I didn't really respect them cause they weren't good enough. There was artifice. They were pretending to play their roles.

Neither one of those people is who they're pretending to be. She maybe was this eight years ago, 2016. He clearly, exactly whatever the fuck. Yeah. Whatever the fuck he did is over. You know what I mean? Whatever got him. So they're both protected. But I love when people are purely just pieces of shit with no thought.

Like STU. Yeah, that's what it's gotta be. You're truly behaving how you are. Yeah, it's beautiful. Proud, confident, see no problem with it. Love seeing that. I love how confident people are in LA. Yeah.

You know? I admire it so, so much. Because I have none, so it's just so nice to see someone not here. Well, I've met a lot of women out and about or jobs I've had, and there are so many women starting foundations. That's a fun, another thing where they're like.

One great girl is just a foundation for Thailand. Just the concept. Let's please help Thailand. Just her help in Thai people ask, like I think they're actually like not that bad. They're doing all right. Very, very well. Just sending money to like a...

A lot of them. It's a beautiful place. Bitcoin account, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But like just the confidence of like saying that out loud, it's like a table full of people. I long for that. Oh yeah.

And think, and being, what they started that is to be in a meeting where everyone has to listen to them and they have to give a couple orders and nothing will ever come of it. But forth, there will be three meetings where she, you know, that woman comes in in a fucking pantsuit pretend. And then the lunch where she's like, ah, this foundation, it's so hard. I just, but it's important work. You know what I mean? Like pretending it's something she has to do. Yeah.

That's what they start the shift for. And then people want her to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then six months later, she's like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So do people not do that? I've never lived in New York. Do people, are people not like that?

Like in New York, they're not that individually confident? I'm sure they exist in Manhattan and Williamsburg and. Yeah, I guess, but I guess this is a much more, I just feel like, that definitely exists, but I feel like- We're tied to reality. I guess I'd like to say that it's classier.

Yeah, right, exactly. You know what I mean? I think, I honestly just think, this is me showing my bias, but I think like, I also think the sugar daddies are just actually high powered. There's no pretending in New York, you know what I mean? Like here it's a city of pretending.

And the sugar babies are like hot as shit, but also like they've gamed out the system and they're like, well, it's either this or get a job. I don't want to do that. You know what I mean? And it's like, and they're like, and they're just about their, like I know girls who are just like,

it's like the most lucrative job. It's like, well, I'd be dating guys like this anyway in this way. It's like, and I just feel like I just respect everyone involved more because it's about like, you know, time is money. No, it's not to show off. It's like, I want to fuck a young girl and I want,

and the girl's like, well, I want like a purse. You know what I mean? And it's like, and this is the quickest, this is the quickest way for both of us to do this kind of thing. It's a more practicality. I think here though, these people have what is called real true freedom. Because it's like Cypher in The Matrix where I feel like he makes a deal with Mr. Smith,

you know what I mean? To not be aware of The Matrix anymore. And he gets to eat the steak and he's like, it tastes fucking good. We are all in The Matrix and we're in hell trying to be that good. And these people aren't, is that what you're saying? They're like out of, they're in the... That's what I want. Yeah. Yeah, we're in hell trying to be that good. And these people aren't, is that what you're saying? They're like out of, they're in the whatever. That's what I want.

Yeah. Yeah, we need to be Cypher. Yeah. It would be nice to be Cypher. I wanna be starting businesses. Yeah. Yeah. Just like not have any self-awareness.

Have an LLC. No, you're right. You're absolutely fucking right about that. Yeah. I, like, there must've been like, what's the delusion like in the, all the church people, they must've been like, were they all all in or did part of them? Do you think there was ever people that are like, I hope this is real.

I don't know. A lot of them are, were all all in. And on top of no self-awareness, they get righteousness, which is the ultimate drug. That does feel good. Yes. Or they're like superior to their people. They're so superior by being more moral. And I think that, but, and they're also cheating and yeah They're still getting in People that are like, you know, they end up like on a dateline or something

Oh, yeah, like your creepy sex for sure stuff any fun scandals Let's see There was a my friend this might be too close to There was a my friend this might be too close though You know specifically I was in a wedding with a guy. Okay, never mind who I was like in the groom's party. Whatever This guy was like getting married to one of the youth leaders from our church But she was like four years older than he was or five years older and he was like 15 when they met and she was like Four years older than he was or five years older and he was like 15 when they met and she was like So and I was in the wedding but she had done that to more boys

Brooks brother suit with a pink tie I don't know exactly how far it went if that that person is listening who is in that. Sure. I'm sorry, brother, for what you went through. Allegedly, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I always knew she wasn't the one. Yeah, did they break up? They get divorced? Yeah, she, yeah.

She started doing some PSAT tutoring. Something else happened. He got out of there, though. That's the good news. Damn female part of my life. That was like, but at the time I was like, let him be with her, like, that's true. You know what I mean? Which was the Lord of War. Like, you got his true love. I was like, but at the time I was like, let him be with her, like, it's true. You know what I mean?

Like you got to be with Trilla. I was like, yeah, like, everybody chill out. Were you like thinking you would like marry some girl you dated when you were like 18? Well, maybe, yeah, yeah. I thought I would get married. You're still a bit of a, like you've been in a relationship for a while. Oh yeah, for a long time.

That's kind of, yeah, the church put that in your head. Yeah, totally. Yeah, but it's all right, you're doing good. It's all good. Yeah, yeah. But it's all right. You're doing good. It's all good. Yeah. But yeah, they're scandal. I mean, yeah, those places are evil.

Church. And when did you completely knock out of it when you were like... I mean, it was like after that mission trip. After the right... After the reservation. After they tried to say it was God's plan. But there was a moment where I went to Washington, D.C. on like a school trip or something and I went to a museum and there was like this and I was like fully at least at the time and I walked into this dark room

It was like we were in like the religious section of the museum and knocking over books. Yeah, so One room and it was like a tiny and it was dark and then there was like low light on this small picture of Jesus On the cross and I remember it get going on then there was like low light on this small picture of Jesus on the cross and I Remember it get going on there and being like fuck I was wrong Like I remember what he did for me I got full body chills and for like one or two days I was like I'm Christian again And then pretty quickly I started drinking again and get back into my lifestyle Oh, you know I mean there I was back for about two days after seeing that painting. Boozin'. Boozin'.

Did you also get into Adderall heavy at that age? Yeah, I was in Vyvanse. Yeah, you were in Vyvanse. I remember you talking about that. Yeah, that was awesome. I got Vyvanse'd out. I lost about 40 pounds. Stop laughing.

Did you do like, you like showed us a picture. Oh yeah, I was down to 125 pounds. You were so little. Yes. And you also were like a Shakespeare guy. Very serious actor. I was like tired of not being taken seriously. And so I wouldn't laugh or talk to anyone.

I was having like mind melting panic attacks from the Vivants. My doctor was like telling me, he was like eight years old and had been one of the first Ritalin children. And so he was like, nah, it's not the Vyvanst dude. It's obviously making you lose weight. You're doing awesome in school.

You're becoming a lead actor. So he upped the Vyvanst doses. He upped it. And then gave me Xanax, Ambien, antidepressants. So I was like 100% drugged out. You were like the same bloodstream as Michael Jackson hours before dying. Yeah, to do like the most busted school play you've ever

seen in your life. Doing Chekhov at 17, where I kill myself in the play and have a breakdown afterwards. Yeah. And it's like literally the last scene of that play, Ivanov, I have to go like, shoot myself in the head. You must have actually been awesome at that scene. Maybe.

Because you actually wanted to kill yourself. I think it was pretty bad. I think I really did. I think you probably crushed that scene. Right. Damn, dude. That's fucking awesome. It was bad.

And I love to put that in the context of fresh off of being an evangelical Christian. Right. You become a fucking meth messed out Shakespeare twink So serious very upset with the world become very liberal. That's so fucking great. Loving Obama, so happy with what he's doing. Absolutely, dude. I got swept up, bro.

I remember trying to like, it's so awesome, Obama won. Trying to get pussy, Obama's the man, my way into some pussy. As a freshman in college being like, isn't this a special historical moment? Can you come over? To celebrate? I don't think I should be alone right now.

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I don't have as many fun things. No, that's okay. I'm sorry to make you follow him getting addicted to fucking Vyvanse. To amphetamines. Pretty early by the way. That wasn't like... It's impressive. I feel like Vyvanse really took off later. Early Vyvanse adopter. Like trials. It was Limitless style.

It really was. The first time you take that shit, you're like, this is the Limitless pill. I'm locked in, yeah. One of those, cold brew, a cold brew, half a dick pill, that's the Limitless pill right there. Half a C-Halice, and a Vyvanse, dude. You're the fucking man, dude.

You're seeing everything. You're looking at the matrix riding the worst shit? Fuck that is awesome, but nothing you ever get in trouble as a as a rebellious youth or you a good a good kid I was a good kid. I I did ballet. Oh, I was always at ballet Yeah, so I was a good little girl. Did they fucking yell at you for being too fat? Absolutely. Absolutely did. Yeah, vicious eating disorders.

Oh fuck. Was she like a Russian lady? What kind of lady? No, she was, my main one was a Russian lady and they would just scream. Classic. They would scream at you. And they did it like the Russian style.

So you'd be like little, little kid, and you'd get behind, between the bar and the wall, so that you would stay straight up and down. Oh my god, if you couldn't get behind the bar. And if you couldn't fit, I mean, thank god I did fit, but it wasn't easy to get back there. Did you watch a little fat girl get chewed out ever? You know, I hate to say that for a lot of classes,

I was probably the biggest one. What? And I wasn't even that big. You were one of the smallest people I've ever, I just wasn't like. You lot of classes, like I was probably the biggest one. What? I wasn't even that big. You were one of the smallest people I've ever, like. I just wasn't like. You obviously now are discu, no she's pregnant. I was like, no you've gotten it. Now I'm huge.

Disgusting since the last time I saw you. No, I'm bigger than I've ever been. Yeah, carrying a body. I gained 30 pounds since I last saw you. Yeah, 30 pounds of just useless weight. Oh! No, I'm kidding. Oh man. Don't call her that. I'm sorry. It's not right. I'm so sorry, I'm kidding. Oh, man. Don't call her that.

I'm sorry. It's not right. I'm so sorry, I fucked up so, so bad. But no, you look like you're small as a, like you're pregnant, you're eight months pregnant, you're like small still. So I can't imagine what you look like as a eight year old. You were the biggest one.

It was awful. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, it was pretty brutal. And that was your thing, you were a ballerina? That was my thing, I wanted to be a ballerina. Yeah, I wanted to be a ballerina more than anything. And then. That's a very classic little girl desire.

It is. That's like one of the most. Yeah, I just, the most like cliche girl. Yeah, but you know, that's nice. Yeah. That's fun to do. That is, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well. We're trying to think of other fun things. My dad designed prisons.

That's the biggest thing. I feel like that's key to know. Do you ever get to go in there and like draw? You know, I did go a couple times because he'd have to go like, you know, he'd go every weekend. Oh my God. And we put in a little nook here for raping each other,

away from the guard's eyes. We've got a little, you know, it's for the prisoner too. You know, they've got to have a good time. You know, so always tell me that like a lot of women's like, you've got to watch out because a lot of women in prison, they're there because of their man. They're there because they did something for him. He designed female prisons?

Women's prisons? Both. Both. Wow. In Illinois, yeah. How do you get into, he's an architect? He's an architect and an engineer, and he did like, he worked for the state

for like other government buildings. And then I think he saw like a power niche in prisons. Yeah, he was like, oh, this is where I fit in. Yeah. Oh, wow. He went from like government parking structures to prisons. Did he put anything sick in there for them? I hope so That's so funny to just be like ah

What is that do you psychologically for like the thing you work on is like? Designed for essentially torture. Yeah, right. Yeah, I don't know if he thought about it. I wonder what he thought. He definitely didn't think about it like that. No. No chance. No chance. I don't think he's like a philosophical thinker like that. You can if you're gonna design for reasons.

If you're gonna do it, yeah. Every stroke of his like, every like click on AutoCAD. Yeah, exactly. It's like people got closer to being like the most depressed they've ever been in their lives He created sadness with every click of his mouse Listening to like Dave Matthews We both worked on floating prisons we both worked on cruise ships

That is fucking insane that I definitely wanted to. You did improv on boats? Oh, yeah. Did you do the murder mystery? No, I never had to do the murder mystery. Never got to do the murder mystery. Yeah, I did that murder mystery. Because you both basically, you did improv through,

like, was it the same company? Yeah. Second City. Was it on Second City? The Second City. The Second City on Aruba. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah second city. The second city. The second city in Aruba. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Aruba chapter of second city. Cape Canaveral, Florida. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where all those motherfuckers were. Yeah. That's fucking. I actually liked.

Did you grow up in Chicago? I did, yeah. Yeah, she did, that's right. I actually kinda liked it. I liked meeting all those weird people. That's the craziest thing I've heard. I think I was probably pretty unhappy in my life. Your life was bad. You know, so I didn't like I didn't put it together that I shouldn't like this. It can't be going good if you agree to

do improv on a cruise ship. You know you say that though but when I got the job it was it was the biggest chills I've ever gotten in my life. I was like it's about to work out. It's happening. No, because you can envision yourself doing you can envision yourself doing like all the other second city stuff, you're like this is a first step Come believe it. Why are there are there any historical examples of? the cruise ship cast going on to what's the Who's the most successful Cruises I'm sure there are 80 have done cruise ships. Oh, there you go. Hello people who went to Thomas Middle did she did one Oh, yeah, nice. Maybe maybe he was up to some freaky stuff on no doubt

When there's no laws on the ocean International waters, that's why the middle did try to get in there. I don't want to think about that. Oh no. Man, many, many amazing talents. A man of many interests. That's so fucking funny. I did one with Scotty Nelson. Oh, Scotty Nelson. He's also in the movie. Yeah, he's in the movie, that's awesome. We had a blast. And you liked, you had a good time. That's so funny. I did one with um Scotty Nelson We had a blast and you like you you had I didn't like the show I hated doing the show Oh, really? This is the lifestyle. I love the lifestyle. I love just like cuz you're partying sure, you know

How old are you guys when you did it? I was like 24 24. How are you? Oh, yeah, that is a great That's true because I'm thinking about what I was doing in 24 25 and it was I was living in a $300 a month room in Baltimore doing fucking stand-up comedy in like shitty bars It's like I was living that and getting fucked up constantly. I was basically just doing what you guys are talking about Yeah Yeah, that's fucking hilarious. Was it, yeah, because everyone's just getting fucked up.

There's a heckler that died. That's how you guys do that. You're the grim reaper, bro. People would all, like we have a couple people on the ship die, they're always like. People die more than you think on those things. And there's a lot of crimes too. There's more, there's more on the ship. That makes sense a lot of crimes too. There's more going to ship.

That makes sense. You kind of have to do it. There was this like, um. So you all, you both experienced ship death? Yes. Wow. I mean, it makes sense. It's always the oldest, fattest people that go on cruises.

Yeah, right. People go on them to them. It's cheaper than a retirement home. So they just go on nonstop. They need medical care. Those people that don't have a house anymore, they're just like, we're going to go. It's cheaper.

It's cheaper. And guess what? Meals included. Oh, 100%. That's how people look at it. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. It's wild.

What an undignified country. It's like, it makes more sense. But I'm on a fucking ship. And then there's 24-year-olds doing fucking, doing fucking horrible improv. I mean fucking the worst and probably you've ever seen horrible I mean the worst the worst They didn't let me do anything really like in the sketch shows like I pretty much just stood there and smile We need some eye candy

Boat improv the lowest know, the lowest, the lowest. And being excited to do it. It was so funny. I was so brainwashed by this shit that when I got onto the cruise ship and you go onto the stage on the cruise ship, you know those scenes in movies where an actor comes out into the giant, it's like no one's in the seats,

they have this beautiful theater yet and they walk out onto the stage and you can hear their shoes clacking. That's what I did the moment we got on the cruise ship but it's like the most busted feature you've ever seen. There's like Bacardi signs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And people are coming to the shows

like straight from the pool. So like wet suit. Yeah, it smells like chlorine and barbecue sauce. Kids peeing, yeah, it's like crazy, it's awful. Oh, that's so fucking funny. I have a fun story about a guy. I met this guy, cause you're not supposed to like, you know, hook up with guys. You're not supposed to hook up, what's the point? That's the rule, that's so fucking funny. I have a fun story about a guy. I met this guy, because you're not supposed to hook up with passengers. You're not supposed to hook up.

What's the point? That's the rule. That's the one rule. You can't hook up with passengers. Yeah, but I met this guy, and I thought he was the coolest, and he was a cop. He was like a young cop. I mean, Jesus Christ.

And we were like, I feel like I was very lost. Like I was very out of touch. Oh my god. Anything, but he wanted to hang out when we ported in Tampa, because you have one port day where you would be in some random city from 8 a.m. to 1.30. And he took me out to breakfast,

and then he had all these guns in his car. I was like, ah. And he's like, don't worry about it, I'm a cop, it doesn't matter. Like, I'll be a cop. Yeah, I just get really pissed if people don't do what I say. Exactly, driving so fast. Yeah, you're good.

You got like, I got a fucking family improv show at six o'clock. You're like, I can't miss the thing. That's so funny. Yeah, and he took me to some like little area and let me shoot guns. Oh my god. That's pretty fun.

That's crazy. I also could have died. 100%. 100%. It's kind of crazy you did, honestly. You might have been close. I think so. Because we were getting close to the time I had to be back and he kept wanting to take

me somewhere else. I think to hook up because we never actually did. For sure that's what it was. Yeah, but I was like, I want breakfast and I want to shoot guns, but I don't, I don't really want to hook up with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also a crazy, like, just met someone, belly full of omelet. That's not really...

Tampa too, so it's hot. Middle of the day, it's hot. That's not prime. Hot fool. So was he done, was he off the, that was where he disembarked, Tampa? Yeah, he lived and he was a Florida cop. Gotcha.

So cute. He's probably up to some really cool stuff right now. Good guy. He's probably been, I would love to see that guy's post. I'd love to see his Facebook meetings. The last couple years. The last couple of months. Do you see that?

He gave me a stuffed animal as a present to say goodbye. It was like a stuffed German Shepherd. German Shepherd, even that? Even as like the cute stuff in his life is like used to arrest people. That's so funny. Oh my God. So I loved it.

How long did you do that for? Our contracts were four months and now that I'm saying it out loud publicly I guess, I probably was really miserable in my life because I did it for 10 months. Oh wow. Yeah. 10 months, two tours of duty. Yeah. Two and a half tours of duty. I guess I probably was really miserable in my life because I did it for ten months. Oh wow Ten months two tours of duty. Yeah, two and a half tours of duty. How do you do the half? You just leave halfway through. Half this girl got injured

This girl hurt her leg Who do we got whose life is worse than this What were you up to you You were just young in Chicago. Life's take. I know what I mean. I actually had a boyfriend. But I just wasn't. You didn't want to be in that relationship.

No, I didn't want to live in Chicago. I think I worked at Groupon. And I just like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah, I forgot about the Halcyon days of Groupon. Did you ever work there? No, I worked at Grubhub. No. What the fuck?

It's literally hell. Like, we went with you guys. Oh my gosh. Improv on ships and working for fucking weird. Working for $16 an hour. grub hub. I feel like Chicago, I mean I grew up there so I never chose to move there but got like really brainwashed into staying. It's a good city, I mean it's as good, you can stay there and like have almost bigger, like New York or LA. Because other than New York or LA, it is, I think... It's next up, I guess. Yeah, I mean, Atlanta is pretty cool too. It's those cities that are like, they have enough of the real shit that you can make

a real career. And even in entertainment, I think you could figure it out with some traveling. So I get it. And it's a cool city, a lot of artsy shit, its own culture, its own really strong, so I get it. I understand why. Baltimore, I was never gonna stay.

For me, I was like, I'm so clearly moving to New York. I actually thought about moving to like briefly, but then I was like, I can't. I can't do that shit. I think there is a difference with improv though. If you're doing improv. Oh true. There's something sadder about improv. For 15 years in the same city in Chicago,

you need to go see a doctor because it's like something's up. But you can get into acting, you know what I mean? Yeah, but a lot of people don't. True. That's a good point. That's fucking insane that you would do improv for improv's sake in Chicago. I mean anywhere to be, no disrespect. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It was hella fun for a minute. Do you ever do improv now? No, I mean anywhere to be, no disrespect. You know? But it was hella fun for a minute. Do you ever do improv now? No, I would never. I said a year ago, I was like, I don't think I ever want to do this again. But it's so funny to me, because like, improv seems like it's like a training exercise for other things.

Like it's good to have, it's good to be able to do it on your feet, but I also think there's different ways to get good at it But everybody goes through this like so I mean some of the funniest people come out of improv training. It's true You know what I mean? Like you guys are that you are hilarious in the fucking movie. Everybody watch the movie. Let's not forget But but also it's like yeah, and then you go into acting and and you use those skills to be funny Or even just to write, you know, even scripts. It's like- Or to be present.

To be present. Right in the moment. To be in the moment. Right? And this is where you start losing me again. This is where I go back and say, improv sucks. No, dude, it's amazing. Yeah.

Changes lives. Yeah. But, yeah. Yeah. We should, we've had so much fun we have not, we should do some actual questions, but we could fuckin', we gotta do it again. Maybe, I mean, when I come back here,

you live here now and you're gonna have a small child, there's no way you're gonna be. I'll bring her on. Yeah, bring her across, bring her to New York. Bring a baby across country, but yeah, this is so fun guys, but let's take some of your expertise. Very rarely. I can't wait.

Very rarely have we had two people that did cruise ships. That makes such good choices. This is huge. People have been waiting for something like this. People have been waiting for this perspective on the broadcast. People were good at boundaries and advocating for themselves. Let's help them out.

Let's help them out. But yeah, play us some. And our good pal, Eldis, folks, has sent MysteryMo. He has sent him 10. I mean, we probably won't get to all of them, but he sent some voicemails. So I can't wait to see

Eldis fuck this up just from a completely different coast and not being here. So let's see what he's got for us. What's our first question here, Mo? Do I say it and then play it or just play it? Just play it. Hey, Stav, eldest and esteemed guest. I'm calling about a girl I've been seeing for a while. Her shower routine isn't necessarily every day. She usually showers when she needs to or right before coming to see me

and usually she'll spend the entire weekend with me. And it's after a while she's not, you know, clean. It gets a little musky down there, I should say. Oh, Jesus Christ. So I guess my question is, how do I tell her that the reason I'm not eating her out is because her pussy stinks? She gives incredible blowjobs by the way.

This is where Elda starts the fucking call. This is our first question. I think this one is easy. This is easy. I read in a magazine what you should do. Okay, great. This is actually very helpful because believe it or not, we've gotten this question multiple times on this podcast.

So please, what does the magazine say? Okay, so the magazines say what the guy should do, or whoever, whoever's about to, they're like, you know what I... Pee you! No, no, no, you're supposed to gently be like... Oh! Brrrr!

Pretend to vomit. You're supposed to have oatmeal in your mouth and go, brrrr. Brrrr. Pretend to vomit. You're supposed to have oatmeal in your mouth and go, brrrr. Brrrr. Brrrr. Brrrr. Good Christ. I think you're gently supposed to be like,

you know what I think would be really sexy right now is if we both took a shower. Oh, I mean, that's like trying to get a baby to eat fucking vegetables. If you don't know what's going on there, that's insane. But I mean. That's what the magazine says? That's what the But I mean, the magazine says that's what the I mean. Yeah. I feel like I've seen that on Reddit. I've seen it in magazines. Yeah. Never had this issue myself personally. No one's ever suggested a shower to me.

But I have one time someone asked me to wash my dick in the sink. You know what? I deserved it. Yeah. And you did it. I had an active day, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If you're active, what can you do? I mean, so many of us are trying to be active. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was very funny.

Because it was like, she was like, the energy was like, work with me here. You know what I mean? It was like, it really was like, I want to give you head. But can you just meet me halfway and throw a little dial soap on that brick for me? The bright orange dial. So harsh.

I don't think that's good for you. I will too. You just pretend you're, you know, back in probably before 1800 and 1900, that was everybody. That's true. And that was part of it. And they were still getting it in, they were procreating. Yes, yes. Just pretend you're in a thatched.

Sure. I like that. Can't you just kind of like not breathe through your nose? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't get your tongue involved. Eat pussy with your bottom lip. Don't taste or smell it. That's really funny to just be like. No sound at all. Cause you can't make any... Do you like that?

I mean that's fucking crazy. So did we miss anything? Is there a transcription available Moe? Or did Eldis just send you the... He probably just sent you the files because he's bad at his fucking job. God, I hate Eldis. Okay, yeah, yeah, what do we got? She started to notice I'm not returning the favor. And I even like, lightly suggest like, hey, maybe you can hop in the shower before we do this or before we go.

She says, no, I'm okay, I think I'm all right. So yeah, I just want to know what I should do. I'm good. How I should bring this up to her. No, I just want to know what I should do. How well I should bring this up to her. Nah, I'm good. Yeah, I think that's it. Love the podcast. All right, thanks. So hilarious.

If she's not gonna get the shower hand, if she's not gonna get the shower hand, you have to be more direct with the people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a sit down. Yeah. Yeah. Take her to Kava.

Really serious. Hey, look, pay for her Cava. Give her whatever she wants on that. Let her get double meat. Egg, two scoops of hummus, whatever you want, girl. I need to tell you something. Carol. That shit doesn't smell right.

That's so fucking. I mean, sometimes you are dealing with dirt balls. There are people who just don't shower enough. Right, right. That exists. Or they don't know how to shower. Right? Yeah.

I mean, are you? They're just stepping in and kind of getting wet. Yeah, just a spray, right know how to shower. Right? Yeah. I mean, are you... They're just stepping in and kind of getting wet. Yeah, just a spray, right? Yeah. Do you use a washcloth? I'm not a washcloth guy. I don't do it enough. Yeah.

But I know I can feel a difference. Yeah. Yeah. I do that. I just disrespect the soap. You use bar soap. You're putting it. You're thorough.

Yeah, I'm thorough. It's getting in there. That's good. Yeah. It's just me. Bar soap? I'm a bar soap guy. Wow. Like. I'm thorough. It's getting in there. Yeah, it's just bar soap I'm a bar soap guy like I'm in jail brand Yeah, like dial gentle. Okay, no, no that was dial days are over the Irish spring days are over

This is dove with some kind of little lotion and shit. I got I get it at Costco by the fucking by the palette essentially I have soap for I have soap for six months. Oh, I soap that will last me after the atrocious thing that you're predicting. The horrible thing happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need to make an offering. After the Eric event that happens. Yeah. After the Ray Hill apocalypse.

It's coming. So yeah, you've got to sit her down and be like, look, or this is one of those things where it's like, vote with your mouth. Make if you're just stop eating pussy. And if it comes up, be like, look, I tried to get you to shower. I guess that's my question. Is she asking him to do this? Maybe he just wants to eat, but he could be an eater.

It could be something he's really into. I always think of those guys, though, who are really into it. They love it. Like whatever state it is in. Cause that guy exists. Those guys might, there's guys who are like, get in the, yeah.

They love it. Go, work out. The French style, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go out, sit cross legged, work out for hours. Absolutely, get some nice probiotics in your diet. Eat plenty of yogurt. So yeah, man

Just you got to talk to her and ultimately this could this is the kind of thing that could be a deal-breaker Not hygiene not aligning on hygiene legitimately could be a deal-breaker It just also just down the line right you know what I mean it starts with a pussy. What about what's our house look like? You know what I mean if you just you keep pussy, what about, what's her house look like? You know what I mean? If you just, she keep a clean kitchen. What's the strainer in her kitchen look like? How much bacon is in there? How much little pasta?

You know when you pull that out and it rips? Yeah, little fucking veggies, little fucking bits of bacon and shit. Nah, get me the fuck out of here. Could be a sign. Good luck, brother. This could be God speaking to you through her. Through that thing.

Yep. Her pussy's a prophet. Folks, the Emirates NBA Cup is here. You can win big getting in on the action of DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA All 30 teams split into six groups every Tuesday and Friday playing for the right to advance in the single elimination in-season tournament Culminating in the NBA Cup championship in Vegas. I love the in-season tournament It's a fun way to keep the beginning of the NBA season

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or visit ccpg.org please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and Resorts Kansas. 21 plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus beds expire 186 hours after residence. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources see dkng.co.c. Next question for us Mo. Hi so um I've been seeing this guy we've gone on about like four or five dates now and on our third date, we had our first kiss. He offered to drop me off at home. So we were in the car and we started kissing and all of a sudden I felt, I mean, I, he was kind of sort of moaning and then I realized he had came.

And so, you know, it was a little taken aback, but I didn't say anything or like, make a big deal about it, right? I just kind of said good night, whatever. I thought like, maybe that's just a one-off type thing. So then I've seen him a few times since then. And basically like the same thing keeps happening. Basically when we've kissed, he just hums very quickly and he can't. I don't know how to say it. And so I guess I'm wondering like, do I, I mean, I don't know.

Now it's been like three times. So is it the pattern? Do I like give him more of a hand? I mean, we haven't been intimate that we've literally just kissed. So I'm not sure what to do here. Also, I mean, I like him a lot. Like other than that, we have a lot in common. I think we want the same thing. He's very kind, very sweet, successful. He's a doctor. He's very

smart. He's also a lot older, a little older than me. He's like 42 when I'm 28. So I don't know, I would think he would kind of like have this under control by now. Yeah. But anyway, I'm 28. I don't know. I would think you kind of like I'm just under control by now. Yeah I'm just wondering your thoughts and if I should like give him another chance You know, I don't know if I should just like cut my losses at this point. This is fucking crazy. Yeah, thanks Wow He started moaning. Oh. She's like, you're kissing.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Mm, mm. Oh no. How can she tell, by the way? Is it coming through the pants? That's what I, I was wondering that too. Or is it like a kind of a hip, a jerk? I mean, I do think.

Like a moan. An energy, there is an energy that changes after you bust. Yeah, yeah. Like the kissing stops. It's a certain peace thing. You'll be like, oh. Like I've never, I've never busted while making out with someone, but I assume you would be able to tell. One time I went to a, on Christmas day

after my parents got divorced, I went to a Korean sauna. Because I love it sauna with my friends because I couldn't go I didn't want to go home there's no place to go I get that and so and this guy was sitting next to me in the hot tub and he was doing like the cricket thing with his jacking himself off with his thighs yes I don't know if he busted but I was like I've never seen this style of technique before so I'd be curious to know is he doing the cricket? Oh you think that guy's jacking it up? Keep an eye on his legs.

Sure sure sure. Because you don't know what it, but if it is truly just a hands-free style bust, that's wild. That's also a problem. I mean it's, there's a lot going on here right? Like the fact that, okay the first time, okay here's the first piece of information. We gotta be Sherlock Holmes a little bit on this show. Because you only get these voicemails.

Three dates, first kiss. He's 42. Interesting. He's 42, she's 28. Three dates. Doctor, right? My read on this guy, nerd that never got pussy in his life. Right?

Finally just sort of feels comfortable. Honestly, this might be the first time he's ever gone out with a hot girl and he doesn't know what to fucking do. It's very possible that this guy is stuck. I mean, I don't know, Dr. 42, there's a type of guy who all he's ever done is go to school, whatever, whatever, his family's very strict,

was a geek, didn't date. Fast forward to now and who knows how he met a four, maybe apps, actually apps for a guy like this might be, he might look a lot better on paper because maybe he's even kinda, you know, guys sometimes hit their stride at 40, especially if they're dorks, you know. He's handsome, he's a fucking doctor.

He probably is a classy guy. Like I said, he's very kind. He's not even making a move till the third date. He probably doesn't fuck that much. This might be, his dick might be in a state of being 19 years old. And the fact that he busted and then he was like, oh, and then like, all right, see you later. Like, he didn't try and like, he wasn't like.

Deal with it or. He never brought it up again, you know what I mean? It was, and look, maybe the first time you're like, all right, see you later. He didn't try and he wasn't like. Deal with it or. He never brought it up again. You know what I mean? And look, maybe the first time you're like, that was embarrassing. Second time you try. And also the first time it was in his car. Because he said it happened three times, right?

Three times. First time it was in his car. Second time they weren't in a house. Are they hooking up? Yeah, is it escalating? Because it should. What's going on here, right? You've been on six dates and he's coming as fucking Lexus RX three times?

Yeah, like they're teenagers or something. Yeah, like that's, so you might, even though, if you really like this guy, and even though everything about him says he's more established in life than you, you might actually be more of an adult when it comes to dating as a 28 year old than he is a 42 year old. That's a very empathetic look, Stiles. It's a chance for her to lead. It is a chance and you might just

have to do that and if you get everything out of this relationship but the trade-off is and look some people date somebody older because they kind of want they want the other person to kind of be a little bit in charge, especially if they're established. And also, who knows what this girl's into sexually? I know a lot of women where this would be a real deal breaker. My gut instinct is deal breaker. I can't see a world where this guy's so great.

You'd want to deal with this. Yeah. Oh, that's a great, that's a beautiful point. You need a mic next time Mo, you can't be off. You need a mic. Mo said there's treatments. I do feel like- Hinting that maybe he also busts fast. But we'll never know.

Yeah, he's not denying it. But I know what you mean, this might be a deal. But six states in- It's crazy. That's a lot. Crazy. I feel like that's a lot. But we don't know what you mean. This might be a deal, but. But six dates in. It's crazy. That's a lot. Crazy. I feel like that's a lot. But we don't know what she's like, right?

Like in a world where this is where you're okay with this. Okay. Let's finish this line of thinking and then we can move on. Okay. But in a world where you're okay with this, where you're like, you can deal with a gent. Cause this is by the way, this guy, bus walk kissing,

he ain't throwing you around. You're not getting choked by this fucking guy. You're not getting, you know what I mean? Like, you're gonna have to, you're gonna, no, you're gonna, you're not, this guy's never railed anyone in his life, right? Never happened. So if that's very important to you,

and I see, I'm not gonna judge you if it is, you're gonna have to work up, you're gonna have to, the roles are gonna have to switch sexually to the point you might have to tutor him to be good at fucking you. Is that something you're interested in? He hasn't even pulled his dick out once, that's fucking crazy. Like if you've got, third time you bust while kissing on the couch or something, he's not fucking hitting the shower himself, cleaning his prick off and then going for a number two later. That's fucking, he hasn't tried to touch your tits.

That's fucking insanity. So, but if that's okay with you, that's the way. You have to lead him through, and you have to bring it up. He might be so embarrassed by busting his pants, which, honestly, if I busted my pants in that, that's the mark of a man who's sexually immature, because if I busted my pants when I was like 15, I'd be embarrassed.

Now I'd be like, I would literally think it's funny. Yeah. Like I would, if I was with somebody. Or you'd be like, I'm sick. Yeah, sorry. I've got that bus fast flu. I'm sick. Yeah.

Oh, fuck. What's he saying afterwards? Is he going, oops. Whoopsie. I would love to know. Oh no. You don't be worse though. Look what you did to me, girl. Ew, ew, ew, ew.

Trying to play off. You made me bust so quick. You need to put that in your back pocket. That goes right in with like, your guy is a guy who would try and play off. That's like sick. Busting sick. That's a compliment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just so freaking hot.

I can't believe it. You're so freaking sexy, babe. Well, it could be a medical issue. We don't know what's going on with this. He's a fucking doctor, bro. You know what I'm saying? Right, right. So anyway.

He could be overworked, too, as a doctor. He could be overworked. That could be exhaustion speaking. These doctors, American doctors, we're treating them like shit. Father in law. They don't get sleep. They don't get their work. You know what I mean?

Medical schools, all million dollars. The system chews them up and spits them out. So, okay, that's one. But then if we're gonna be based in reality here. He's a deviant. There's just no way this- Something. This is gonna be, you're gonna have to, at the very least, you're gonna have to discuss this head on.

And you're gonna have to be like, let's do, even if he busts once, like, you're gonna to have to discuss this head on and you're going to have to be like, let's do, even if he busts once, like you're going to have to be the one that at least the first time breaks the let's, let's get your dick, let's get naked. You're going to have to do that. If that's not interesting to you, this might not be your guy. At the very least you have to have a conversation about it and be like, this is okay, but we have to have sex if we're going to be in a relationship. like we have to see if we're actually Compatible and we can work on everything else out and look

There's if this guy can if this guy busts fast if he gets one off and then busts that quickly the second time And that's great. That's a third if he busts three in a row then it is a legitimate Medical issue. There's no way. But this is, like I said. I wonder if she is just really hot, though. She could be really hot. And he might just have never. Her voice is cute. She's Hadid style hot.

Huh? Gigi or whatever belly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she could be very hot. And my hypothesis is he's just a nerd who's never gotten pussy in his life. Just from everything I'm picking up here. I have another scenario in my head.

I don't know how long you wanna stay on the calls. I was also picturing a guy, 42, had one life, has a bunch of kids already, and he's out, divorced, fresh, new, out on the scene, very nervous. That could be, maybe there's some anxiety there. That's a good point. But either way, it's a guy whose development has been arrested.

Yes. Either he got married young in an early relationship, doesn't know how to, either way this is a guy who does not know how to date. No, no, no, no. Whether that's whatever the scenario is. But yeah, yeah. Have you ever encountered a fast buster?

In my, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably because I'm so pretty. Yeah. He couldn't help it. He couldn't help it. in my yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah don't have sexualies that I don't buzz fast and then it happened like once and I was literally like I think I was like reacting with too much like huh that's fucking hilarious no truly and the woman didn't believe me that's a great way to handle the woman didn't believe me but I was like this is crazy I was like that's so fucking funny that I busted fast and she was just like I mean she was fucking weird as fuck too I don't maybe was something. I didn't really like her as a person and her apartment was weird.

Your body knew. But she had huge tits. Like there's a lot, a lot going on here. A lot of make. So it was like, I did find her pure, like from a just attractiveness thing. I found her pretty hot and I hated everything else. And that's the only time in my life I've busted like crazy fast. Your fast your body your body was helping you. It was to get me out of their fast You don't like what's going on here, man

We got a key get out of here before you have to fucking pet another ferret Alright, let's do another let's do another call here mo can pet another ferret. Let's do another call here, Mo. Do you think God's lie or do I reach out? But a couple years ago, my friend started dating this guy and at the time, he was non-existent on social media. So my brain was like, okay, that's weird. And then a few months later, he popped back up on social media. So I'm an investigator, I do some digging.

And basically I find out that this guy went to jail for like choking out his ex and basically has a kid with an ex-girlfriend that he lied to my friend about. He said that the last he heard that the ex-girlfriend got an abortion and this kid was never a thing but basically I discovered her Facebook, her Twitter and the kid is very much alive and well and I told my friend all about this she can front I'm sorry I'm getting yeah last I heard like not checking up on whether your seed was born I was pretty sure they stopped that thing. That's awful. Didn't check back in. I caught the vibe that it wasn't going to happen.

So yeah, no more investigating necessary. Wait, I got confused. So the kid, there is a child. So yes. So just to catch everybody up, our caller is calling it about her friend. And this child is her friend's boyfriend's, her friend's boyfriend's friend with an ex that the potentially shitty boyfriend has lied about. Anyway, let's keep going, but that's just awesome

to be like last I heard about your child. All right, it is worth a bit. And basically he twisted everything, and she came back to me and was like, I'm on his side, the ex is crazy, I believe him. The ex is crazy? We haven't really talked in a year and a half. But you know, I know this guy is a piece of shit, she doesn't see that.

And I know he's abusive. I don't know, I asked her, you know, if you've been like that to her, she said no. Talked, you know, sometimes like, I still worry, I still want to be like, a resource of like, oh, it's just going down, you know, I'll help you out, you can reach out to me. They also moved from Florida to Washington State, so literally across the country. She moved, I'm sure.

Yeah. Oh, wow. To Washington State? Oh, no. OK. Not good. Literally no contact for a year and a half. We still follow each other on social media,

but there's no interaction whatsoever. And I've known this person since I was like 16 and I'm 29. So yeah, I don't know if, if I let sleeping dogs lie or if I reach out and kind of say, Hey, checking in on you. Um, yeah, thanks. Damn. Do you guys know that Dixie chick song Earl? I don't know that one.

I do. Is it about an abusive? It's about this situation. She's killing a man named Earl. Yeah. Poison Poisoning him. That's what this guy deserves. Yeah, I think he's gotta go. Yeah, unfortunately, this is horrible. There's nothing good that's gonna come of this. And I guess let me just say before... We will answer, but first, talk to someone who knows about the mess, like talk to a counselor about, you know, like women's safety, like talk to somebody about who's actually go to like a, you know,

resources about domestic abuse, that kind of thing, what to do in these situations. Cause they'll actually tell you instead of this dumb podcast where we were just talking about stinky pussy and busting fast moments ago, we're not exactly who's gonna help you with this. You know what I mean? We're much better.

We spent a nice amount of time on that bus fast question. And this is gonna be a lot quicker than that. But I guess I would say everything sounds so far pretty textbook abusive relationship. No contact, them moving away. That's like isolating somebody from their friend group. Florida to Washington state. Yes. That's probably further. Yeah. Yeah. Literally I don't think on the continental United States you could move

further away. So I would say it's you should assume the worst in a fight, you know, just to be safe. And this is again, my hunch, go check all this with a domestic, with somebody that knows what they're talking about when it comes to domestic abuse. But I think you probably don't wanna be too crusading about this, but you want to, I think your, our caller's hunch is correct,

where it's like, just make it known that you're there for them, right? That's what I was gonna say, all you can really do is like tell your friend you love her. Yeah. You're there for her, right? That's what I was gonna say. All you can really do is like, tell your friend you love her. Yeah. You're there for her if she needs anything, wants to talk. And just check in in an innocuous way. Talk about day-to-day shit so she just feels,

and don't bring this up, you know what I mean? Because I think people in these situations, like anyone, and the abuser usually can sniff out if somebody's... I'm worried too like if she's sending emails or texts Like he's probably looking at all her stuff could be Social media messages and things like I would think so. That's why I would say keep it like keep it like what's up? Let's just chat you see a show like protect. So just so they know be in her life in a way That's like very surface level but also that she feels a connection.

And again, talk to someone who actually knows, but this is just our best guess here. Yeah. What do you think? Maybe she should pray to the Holy Spirit. I think pray to God. He's the only way out of this. Don't contact anyone professional. Just go right to Jesus. He can fix this for you. Don't talk to the police. Nothing. Do not talk to the police. Just write to God. Go to fix this for you. Yeah. Don't talk to the police, nothing. Do not talk to the police, just write to God. Go to a fucking mega church. Did you ever go to a mega church?

Or was it more like community based? Nah, these were smaller, kind of more even scarier style churches. That is scarier. Yeah, yeah. Less money, less proceeds. Any speaking in tongues? No, right?

I went to a French church once who spoke in tongues. That's awesome. I was like, this is too far. Yeah, yeah, you're like, this is awesome. This is too far. Yeah, yeah. You're like, this is demonic. This is not for me. Yeah. Did you put your hands up?

I always put my hands up, yeah. Sometimes you put up one, but if you're really feeling it, it's both. That's when you knew you were fucking getting it. Oh yeah, this shit. God's like smiling. He really wants both up. All right, what do we got?

Great one, Eldis. Another good one, Eldis. Just a nice lift the mood up. We're trying to get people to watch this fucking movie. And now people are thinking about a woman who's in dire trouble. But, you know, what's that, Mo? I'm going to take a sweet one. Thank you. Thank you, Mo. Clean up Eldis' messes. Mystery Mo, the man with no mic, folks. He's sexy as hell, but he shouldn't be here. God wants him dead, but he's persevering.

He tried to kill him. But he's persevering. He really did. To silently produce this podcast. All right. Hey, Stavi. I've been a little bit of a viewer for a little bit of a long time. Nice. Hey, Stavi, I've been a little bit of a viewer for a little bit of a long time. Nice.

And I was wondering if you had any tips on how to masculinize yourself and make you super ultra masculine. As a trans man, I struggle so hard with being perceived as a man. Sure. And I think I need to know some man secrets. I need to know some things that I need to change. This is awesome. Should I be showering differently?

Should I stop washing my asshole? Like what should I start doing to make people perceive me to be a man? Yes. Thank you, Stavi. Respect. Welcome to the brotherhood. So much better to be a man. I mean, truly, it's like, how can you even argue? How can you look at society and then argue

when someone wants to be treated like a man if they're right? It is like it just makes so much more sense. It's so much easier less danger Just a good time overall don't have to be pregnant. I mean we're going to know okay. He's going through looks horrible You can be yeah, of course Yeah, and then arrange your thoughts about this masculine question. Me and Eric will start off here. We'll start it off. I mean, yeah, this is a.

I'm trying to think. I mean, first of all, you want to look less put together. That's number one. Yeah, yeah. Look shitty. It's kind of nice. That's one of our, that's the biggest, you know, the biggest pro here is like how low maintenance it can't,

to be super masculine, it's so easy. It's actually the less thought the better. The less thought the better, yeah. Go with your gut. Go with your gut, dress like shit, sweatpants, you know what I mean? Like, now you can, I mean, I'm not gonna tell you to get fat as shit but that's a nice

way. It helps. Being a little fat helps. Oh yeah. Being a little fatter than you are probably helps and look once you're more comfortable in your masculinity you can shed it. You can cut it down. It's kind of like becoming a bodybuilder. Yeah right. You want to fucking, you want to like bulk, bulk and then you can cut. I do think weight lifting might be the weight lifting will definitely help. Do this thing called starting strength starting to program gallon of milk. Yeah, oh man No truly getting in the all this kind of shit I'm trying to think when I think when I feel the most masculine. That's a great question. I Getting fucked up hands. Oh, yeah, you know, it means all getting them like like lift, you know

I mean like lifting weights. I know what I mean? Like lifting weights I've gotten calluses up here do guitar and get the cows on yes Start to make women uncomfortable parties play the guitar at a party. Yeah, right Turn the music off. That's a that's a fucking loser dude move Yeah, I think the to get a job at Lids Yeah, I think the... Get a job at Lids. Get a lanyard. Become a butterfly knife guy.

Like, start being a horrible guy. And then you can cut down the pieces that you actually like. But yes. Because we did this when we were 16. Everybody does that. Everything you're talking about, yes. We went through all of that shit.

You find the fucked up parts. So we're just saying you want to look like a piece of shit. You don't want to think about anything Don't worry about your appearance that will really help to just appear more dude-like Exactly. It's like no. Also. I was thinking just take your time with everything for sure. Don't rush anything. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, no urgency. No when you're crossing the street. Just take your time Yeah, no urgency. When you're crossing the street, just take your time. Don't even do it. You know those guys? Be less aware of others around you.

Exactly. Don't worry about how other people react to you. You know what I mean? Get a navy blue comforter. Yeah. Oh, that's actually exactly what it is, KD. I got that. Of course, dude.

Me too. Yeah. But actually, you see so many more stains on that than you would think. Exactly, that you need a pattern and a light color to hide them. It's a bad move. Don't wash your towels.

Right. Oh, yeah. You know what's crazy is that we have so many fresh towels in my house, and I'll let the towel go so long. And I'll just forget that there's a new towel. And you're just using the same one towel. Yeah, it's wet, and I'm like, why is this happening to me? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You know? To live a, do shit like that. That'll help. Yeah. But yeah, just like, I mean, so much of it, you're, it's just going to take some, it's just going to take some time.

But yeah, dressing like shit, being a little, I wouldn't say, I would say wash your ass. You don't want to stink. But. Because you guys were just talking, I would say wash your ass, you don't wanna stink, but. Because you guys were just talking about how you're washing your asses. Yes, yes. Just holding her. Oh, wash the fuck out of her.

We'll get, so, but you do, you don't wanna stink, but you can be dirty, that's a difference, right? Smudges, stains on your shirt, all that's good, but you don't wanna smell bad. You can have like something on your face, you can have your, and we should get rough fucked up hands too, that's a big one. You know what I mean?

So yeah. Get good with animals. I'm bad with animals. You are? Really? I mean I'm not bad with them, but I just don't take care of them. You know, like I like cats and dogs,

but I don't know anything about them. I'm not, and other animals, I'm just a city boy. I don't really know nothing about the farm or anything like that. Maybe do a farm trip. Okay, yeah. You know what I mean? Get out there, get handy.

See how you are with them. See how you naturally. But I do think horses are more. More girls, girl-coded. But I don't know, I don't know. You could go both ways. Cow, cowboy. Yeah, the whole cow. I'm interested in like,'t know, I don't know, you could go both ways. Cowboy, yeah, the whole cowboys.

I'm interested in like, you know, if he's got a vision for the kind of guy who wants to. There's so many different kinds of guys you could be. It's like. And I think the kind of talking it out, I think we're coming at it as a way of, the way we were just saying like, bodybuilders when they try and get ripped,

they just gain a ton of weight because you can gain a lot of muscle through fat. Try every different type of guy on. Bulk as a guy. Become every type of guy, overdose on masculinity. And then do the winter cut. Do the winter cut and be like, you know what? Winter bulk.

I don't like being a chain wallet guy. I don't like, you know what I mean? Or a locker guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is not me. And slowly cut out, but for now, do as many dumb dude, do as much dumb dude bullshit as possible, and then go from there.

Yeah, because there must have been a guy that you like, dreamt of being. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Come on. Everyone kind of has that. There's a guy I see in my head. Oh me too, Brad Pitt, yeah. It's a version of me.

Yeah. I've said this before on the podcast, and it's so funny if you see it, because we don't have, our usual setup, we can pull shit up, but Colin Farrell in Miami Vice. Damn. Is who, like, is who I was like, yes. And I think he was all coked out in real life.

No, no, that, I've done, I love that movie, and I've done a lot of research on it. He says he doesn't remember filming that movie. He went right from there to rehab. He was so pill down, fucked up. And it kind of, it really, it literally helps the performance. I want to, that's a Michael Mann movie.

Great movie. And now he's the Penguin. Great movie. Penguin's hilarious. I love that show. She, who's the girl, what's her name? Yeah, it's good. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, she's great. She's incredible, man. What's her name? She's that's good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, she's great. She's incredible, man. What's her name? She's in Palm Springs. She's in Palm Springs. She was... Christine.

Christina Milotti. Milotti. Wow. She's in Wolf of Wall Street. She's his first wife. She's incredible in that. She's almost too good in it. It is, for real.

Yeah, yeah. Because I was about to... Because I think what the Penguin is, and this is what The First Joker was, which was they're making Marvel movies for, I know it's DC, but like, the First Joker just stole two different Martin Scorsese movies, it was Taxi Driver and it's the King of Comedy.

And it's like four cinephile bros, they're like, we're gonna make a Marvel movie for them. And I like, as that, like, I felt people went too crazy calling it a great movie, it was not. But it was entertaining, and it was like, hey, it's the stuff I like. It's the same shit I like. Yeah, it reminds me of all the things that I love.

It reminds me of the stuff I like, because I'm not a comic book nerd, but I am a Scorsese nerd, and I feel the same way about The Penguin and The Sopranos. It just feels like they're doing stuff I love from The Sopranos. And he's doing his voice. His voice is exactly. He kind of does.

I know, that's too much. It's a little much. And their walk, too. Yeah. I know. He is a good enough actor that for moments, certain scenes, it doesn't bother me. And she's incredible. She should be the star.

She's incredible. She's like, I mean, not only she's so hot, but she's also like such an insane act, such an insanely good actress. And there is stuff to do with that character. Like, it's weird how good it is, how good, but it's like, yeah, it's like, should I remember? And I got to, I watched the first two episodes, but I'm sure the third one, they

start with his little sidekick and it kind of, I was like, I don't need to know. And can I just get me the hot insane woman? Can we get some real busted looking men in these roles? We don't need the hottest fucking. It does. Please. I know Colin Farrell in particular. It's like, it's tough cause I love him.

Yeah, I know he's amazing. But, come on. That's what I mean. I said it, I said it on Caleb's podcast where I was like, I love the Sopranos cause it's also, it's a fat, it might be more fat than Italian. It might be, you know what I mean? There's so many obese people in that.

And it's like never has there been a showcase for the fat, for fat people like the Sopran that. And it's like never has there been a showcase for fat people like the Sopranos. And it's like there's somebody that could have been playing that role. I don't wanna do, it's not about me. No, no. I'm not trying to be Ozcop, okay? But someone's out there that can fucking do it.

Although I wouldn't mind being in a couple scenes with Christine, you know what I mean? You should watch the latest episode then because it's all about her. She goes, you see her in jail. In Arkham. Oh shit. But it is funny, it's like-

And she's all young. Oh hell. They like make her look nice. It's like she's hot. She'll probably be hot forever. I love that the most craziest place some people can think of is Arkham Asylum. Well dude, that- Dancing was insane, should I imagine.

Watching this show, it's like, why the fuck does this have anything to do with Batman? Yeah, is that right? It's like, make this a show about why is it Batman? It could be a much better show if it's not tethered to all this dumb bullshit. But whatever, I'll watch it. I'll eat my slop.

Shout out all TV shows right now. Yeah, true. Love them all. They're still so good. All right, what else we got, Big Momo? I'll uh, I'll uh, I'll eat my slop. Shout out all TV shows right now. Yeah, sure. Love them all, they're all so good. Uh, alright, what else we got Big Momo? Sorry guys, are you good? Couple more calls? Yeah, yeah.

I'm having a great time. I'm gonna P2 real quick. Please do, yeah, yeah. Did you know that more than 50% of food waste in Toronto homes is avoidable? By cutting down on food waste, you can help protect the environment and save money. Simple actions like planning your meals, storing food correctly, and using everything you purchase make a big difference. Learn how to make every bite count at toronto.ca slash food waste. Yeah, go ahead. Me and Katie can handle it. Yeah, we got this.

Yeah, go ahead. Me and Katie can handle it. Yeah, we got this. What's up, Stavi? Esteemed guests, elders. I'm calling today because I got some life advice I need. I'm with this girlfriend of two years. I love her. She's beautiful. But when we got together, we were both big stoners. And I'm kind of getting to a point in my life, I just turned 24. I feel like my frontal lobe has formed as much as it can. And I want to take on responsibility and just be a learn some skills and you know my life

Without smoking weed every day and I want her to do the same Guys I Want a partner that I can grow with? But whenever I broach the subject with her about her quitting weed She gets defensive Brings up this trauma about her past that was really fucked up and as that like because of that the the weed like helps her that like because of that the weed like helps her

which when she brings that up I can't really she's got you brother I can't really say anything to that like really fucked up what happened but I don't think that doing drugs every day helps her get through that I think it's kind of a bandaid you might be right anyway so basically, how would you go about telling your significant other that you love very much,

that you don't want to be with someone who is a stoner and has white weed kind of control their life But I want to be with her and but I also want to partner partner I can grow with and learn things and Stand that all day smoking weed. Yeah, yeah. I hear guys talking about it. Okay, first of all, it's all no-blame-ing, but let's fucking relax.

You've stopped smoking weed for two fucking weeks, and now you're like, I can't possibly be with a stoner. Get off your fucking high horse right now. This is the guy who's just started keto, and he's telling everybody, that muffin's gonna kill you. You know what I mean? It's like, you're being a fucking prick here, buddy. He's kind of like in the honeymoon period.

Yeah, it's like, of sobriety. Yes, exactly. And he can't stop. So basically this guy they called in, Eric, he and his girl were both huge stoners when they dated. I think he's, they're 24 now, Mo. So they started dating a couple years ago. They're like in their early 20s.

They both were stoners. He's quit smoking and he wants to like, in his words, kind of grow up. His girl, every time he tries to get her to do it, she's like, I don't want to do it. And she has like some Trump card, something horrible happened to her and she's like, because of this I have to smoke weed and whatever.

So he gets to, they get to a wall every time he tries to say don't smoke and he's basically Asking what to do now He got a little sanctimonious at the end saying he can't be with somebody who he can't he doesn't want to be with a stone Or anymore meanwhile to that's who you fucking are like that's that's like let's not be I'm with I was with him on everything except the hypocrisy here, right So anyway if you're 24 see here, right? Yeah.

So anyway, if you're 24, here's one universal truth before getting into the specifics here. This is the age where people start fucking, where the like, split, yes, the people's lives start going different places, right? Like college, everyone gets fucked up constantly and then you check back in on your friend who's the funnest friend ever.

They passed away. Yeah, exactly. He fucking, he fucking. Best case scenario, they passed away. Best case scenario, yeah. A drunk driving accident where only he died. You know what I mean? Like, it's him versus a fucking telephone pole.

Best case scenario, right? And so, so this is just when this kind of shit happens, right, is like this age, like you just start to diverge. And another universal truth, most relationships that start at fucking 22 or younger, for the most part don't necessarily, you know what I mean? So there is a small, there is a chance,

I won't even say small chance, but there's a chance that you guys could just be different people. I had a college girlfriend when we met, we were both in the same public affairs scholarship program. And she went to grad school, and I was like, she went to grad school in DC, and I was like sick, and I used her, and I would go visit her and do open mics

and not spend time with her. And very quickly our lives diverged. And she was like, I can't, obviously she was like, I can't do this and whatever. God bless her. I think she like wanted to have a family within year, within like two years. And it was like, and I was like, I mean, that's-

Not gonna happen. So clearly not me, it's insane, right? So it's like, that's just's like, that kind of shit happens. Now, let's give him, I guess, some actual advice in his situation. Is it a problem yet, is my first question. You know what I mean? I think just go to your rock climbing gym, chill out.

Like sign up for your class or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Just, you know, don't act on this too quick. Right, right, right. Yeah, my hunch is that he's making it a problem already. It's like, has this hindered your life yet? Nah. You just started.

And as if he's so clear-minded. And like their lives are at such different places. You just started this fucking bullshit. This isn't a problem yet. You're getting ahead of yourself. You do whatever the fuck, yeah, go to coding bootcamp or whatever the fuck you think is gonna change your life. Like, live these wildly different lives

that he's imagining. It's like, he thinks he's gonna be a fucking Bitcoin millionaire while she's fucking watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force. You know what I mean? Like, you're Teen Hunger Force. You know what I mean? Like, you're not different yet. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, given the two weeks.

Yeah, yeah, become different before you start work. Cause I know people who, I have friends who smoke weed every day. And are they as successful or like as industrious as they could be? No, but are they still really fucking successful and it works for them? Yes they are.

And maybe I would, I stopped smoking weed, I just needed to fuck, I was getting too fucked up. But it's not like I can't hang out with them. And even now, I'm doing a sober year, a lot of my friends are still getting fucked up. It's not really affecting, a lot of my closest friends are getting fucked up. It's not really affecting a lot of my closest friends are getting fucked up It's not affecting our relationship now a relationship is different

I know that right like but there's plenty of people in relationships There were one person sober and one one person isn't Could it become a deal breaker? Yes, but right now it feels so much worse at 24 where you're like I remember like, you know seeing people that weren't drinking and I was like, I could never even show up. Oh my God. Who can't body old fashioned. You know what I mean?

And now it's like you don't even think about it. It's not gonna be up all night. No, you're so right, dude. 24, these do feel like insane life differences. You do, and I also remember I was one of these people who being a stoner was a huge part of my identity. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Like I was I was one of those guys in the way like drinking bros are like you go and you get fucked up like I was never I drank

but I was never I was way more of a weed guy yeah and also like I'm a little older where it was like it was still illegal so you had a good hookup like you were the being a weed guy did feel kind of like more important more important like you know people came if you had a good hookup. Like you were the, being a weed guy did feel kinda like. More important. More important. But like, you know, people came, if you had good weed that was literally cool. Yeah, right. Like, oh that guy's got good shit. You know, like I wanted to be that guy. Yeah.

But, you know, these fucking kids don't know nothing. I remember being at the grocery store. With your fucking dispensaries. I was like, my girlfriend didn't really drink very much and I was like, it'd be so fun if we could get fucked up together. And I remember going to the grocery store in my hometown, and I saw this girl from high school that was there with her boyfriend,

and they were picking up a handle of vodka for the night, and I remember feeling so jealous of their relationship, and they both died. Come on! I'm not kidding you. Badly. They died badly, and I can't go into it because it will give away details,

but they're no longer with us. You know what I mean? So you'll change, you change. It's like, no. Yeah. Holy fuck, dude. The next episode, when we do the next one, we're gonna catalog every death.

Yeah. Yeah, I wanna see a chart of them. Yeah, yeah, I think it's all connected somehow. Yeah, I want to see a chart of them. Yeah, I think it's all connected. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's through me. You, bro. You are, right?

You're the harbinger of death. That's so funny, too, because I remember one time, one of my best friends was talking about, we were hanging out, and he was like, oh yeah, I'm going to go get fucking high as shit in order to take out and watch movies with my fiance. And it dawned on me that that was possible. Like, that you could do that with a girl, like in my head a girlfriend was like, someone you had to pretend to be a better person

than you were. You know what I'm saying? Completely not yourself. Yeah, yeah. I could listen to Basenecter with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, it literally made me like romantic. I was like, oh my God, like I can fucking get high as shit.

And like, maybe I can't watch John Wick, but I can watch a fucking Michael Mann movie. You know what I mean? Like, but that literally was a step to be like, maybe I do want that. But anyway, look dude, you're a little, don't get ahead of yourself. I think it's my-

God bless you by the way. God bless you. Hey, first, yeah, God bless. Of course. We can't forget that. And then goes without saying. But I think yeah, like trying out your new lifestyle choices that you wanna try so bad.

And then if, cause he said that she's really important to him too. So give it some time. And then if you find it's not working, then I think I would draw a harsh line and say cut your losses. And you can't be codependent and like waste, you just don't want to waste years, trust me.

Trust me. Thinking you're gonna help somebody. Or that they're gonna owe you favors. That's how much this has fucked her up. She's at a great point in her life. No, I made an incredible point, but I made a lot of bad decisions, wasted a lot of time with the wrong people who waste your time.

And I just don't want your time to be wasted. Yes, yes. That's a good point. I agree, I agree. I think ultimately that's true, but I think he, yes, you said it. Give it at least six months of trying to do your own thing. Exactly, because I think you're being a little,

you're just overdoing it. Too excited for your new. I've been, you know how many, you know how much fucking like how many times I've bought like workout equipment and like shirts that were two sizes smaller than what I, I'm like, well. And you're like, I'm gonna have to cut out like pretty much every day. My fall wardrobe

has to be an XS, not gonna be two XS. Like just how much, they're just in the package. How much still lands end in the package I have. Like, you don't want to be that guy yet, buddy. You haven't made the changes yet. Yeah, unopened equipment. Yeah, I ordered kettlebells on Amazon this morning after watching a Joe Rogan action Bronson clip

where they work out together. I love that, yeah, that's a good workout, yeah. And my girlfriend did eat a cookie this morning and I was shaking my head. Yeah. That's not the lifestyle. I don't want to be a part of it anymore, girl. You need to give that shut up now.

You gotta stay with this. Oh, what the hell's going on? I thought I was in Los Angeles talking to Katie and Eric. But I'm keeping it fucking twisted. And Ben's here? It's time to keep it twisted! We've been transported

to the studio to keep it twisted. We've been transported to the studio for to keep it twisted Alright, I guess we'll keep it twisted Thanks to our friends at twisted tea with a twisted fucked up question We don't actually know what it's called yet We haven't decided what the segments called but time to keep it twisted This place the twisted motherfucking fucked up call of the day. Oh, hey, Stavi.

Got a weird question. I'm not too sure if it even really matters. Apparently in life, but something I've been thinking about for a long time, but my best friend is currently married, hasn't been married for long time, let's just go off and on for 10 years. But back in the day when, um, one of the times whatever, I think he met the relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. You fucking prick.

We've been married for a long time, let's just go off and on for 10 years. But back in the day when, um when one of the times they were off, he or she started to bang one of my other good buddies. Oh, what? This other buddy in my... Keep it twisted. That lady was keeping her fucking twisted as hell, sampling the friend's cock on a break. She was absolutely keeping it and then going back and marrying the guy.

Salute to her for keeping it twisted. My other good buddies and this other buddy and my other best friend were never really friends. So, okay. Okay. Maybe wasn't that she told my one buddy that she started fucking that she wanted to have a threesome with him and I Now that never happened. I never now that is I take back what I said

You know a pride goes that you know what I won't even say it let's keep going Now that never happened I never did anything with her and they eventually stopped fucking in and respect You got back with my other best friend sometimes you can't always keep it twisted folks That's sometimes you have to know to keep it just twisted enough And I respect our caller for not you can oh you can get it over twisted and he didn't over twist it He sounds like our friend here is keeping it just twisted enough my other best friend and they got married and fast forward you know ten years has gone by but I can never just shake the idea that my best friend's number one

childhood best friend's current wife at one point Specifically wanted to have a threesome with me. So I'm sure if it matters anymore too much time is passed It's definitely something I think is super weird and I would love to tell him or whatever But not sure what to do about that. You can tell this guy is new to getting twisted. Yeah, he does not know about keeping it twisted. This got him twisted in a bad way. She twisted him up too, too, too much, dude. Now, here's an example of keeping it twisted in a positive way.

Having a cookout, having a couple delicious twisted teas, that's keeping it just twisted enough. You know, 5% alcohol by volume, brood with real iced tea couple of those That's keeping it twisted in a nice way. Yeah trying to fuck your husband's Best friend in a threesome. That's keeping it much too twisted But what's he even saying here? It's not like it's gonna happen It's true that it's not like it's gonna happen, but he's basically saying like, like, okay, again, this is good because I can all, a child with a best friend, if Eldest's wife

at some point was dating some other guy, Eldest is married to some completely other woman who was dating in a break between, or even before, right's all to get off again is weird but even if it was randomly before you had an opportunity to do some depraved shit with like your best friends then you know future wife it would be like that's kind of that's weird that I was there for that you know what I mean like now but I'm with you it's not ten years ago but exactly if this is just some other guy he never hears about this he never even thinks about it and everybody has kept it twisted to that degree one way or another yeah I think we've all done some twisted oh yeah twisted deeds

sexually that's twisted as in freaky That's why I'm like no diddy It's just like what is It's like yeah, ten years ago like people were when we were young we were all fucking doing sure Break is actually the hard thing though because she had already dated his best friend. Yeah, they were on a break She tried to fuck him essentially and then yeah, and then she goes and marries him It's like yeah, obviously I do think Effectively, what do you do? Too much. It's and also it's like what are you best friends with his wife? You don't have to see her, you know what I mean, but it does his friend knows another probably not right?

It seems like he does I mean, that's the thing like I agree with you in theory about the 10-year thing But if I find out that like my wife like I want to do a threesome with like stave and one of your friends that you're not nearly as close with as stave That would be a little weird man. That would be crushing to discover like a mid-marriage and just would not feel good even if it didn't happen question is the quote see he's asking I would love to tell him or whatever no no you want to tell him he just says he's weird he has said he doesn't know what he I think you feel

I don't know. Is he feeling guilty or does he feel it's not okay. Here's the other thing your best friend It's not like he has a right to know he feels guilty about it because of his friend I thought he was like do you think it could possibly happen? No Happen no He's not keeping it that twisted This is a guy that doesn't he keeps it an appropriate amount of twisted does not get that twist no no so Hmm I mean look ultimately I think your your hunch is correct Too much too much time has passed even if it hadn't passed, it's like you didn't fuck her.

She wanted to fuck you when she was single. That's really what it comes down to. She wanted to fuck you when she was single, right? The fact that another guy was there, this is like a hard math problem where it's like you're thrown off by the coefficient. But it's like just take that out.

First you gotta solve what's inside the parentheses first and so let's take out the fucking threesome stuff Essentially your buddy's wife when she was single wanted to fuck you She had a little wild phase exactly ten years ago one of the guys she wanted to fuck in her wild phase was you That's fine. You didn't fuck her. There's probably a lot of other guys too. Brother, yeah that's the other thing. That's the thing. This is, she probably fucked a bunch of other guys.

Who cares, that's part of what it, everyone is like young whatever, and then you fucking settle down when you're done. When you're done sucking and fucking to that degree, right? So, you didn't do anything. The fact that she kind of wanted to didn't do anything the fact that you kind of wanted to get Eiffel Tower by you and some guy maybe it's a little strange but that's it that's the maybe stop thinking about it you just have

something about it's been a long time like that we can't tell them that's crazy crazy what do you even get out of telling that would be way too twisted yeah so so twisted I can't even, we can't condone it. You would actually be the most twisted person in this situation. What the wife did is not wrong. She was just on a break and fucked some guys and then figured out she liked your friend enough later to fucking get married. People need time to go through their shit. The only person who would do something wrong here is you to tell him,

hey, you would just be throwing something that even, even on Elvis's example, The only person who would do something wrong here is you to tell him, Hey, you would just be throwing something that even, even on Elvis example, that would be crushing, but you couldn't, you, it would just be so weird cause you couldn't even be like, how dare you? You know what I mean? It would just be like, you'd open a can of worms and like make it their problem. Exactly. You would be creating a problem out of nothing. I want him to do it. Nobody's probably exactly you would be creating a problem out of nothing Right now Ben you're keeping it too twisted

You have to know wait, no, you can't keep carrying this weight man, for the other seven years. What weight? Just at a barbecue every once in a while, you look over her and you're like, huh, she wanted to fuck me off. Who cares? Who cares? Especially I would say women,

when they go through a phase, they don't even have to think you're hot necessarily, if it's like a moment where they feel like safe. You know, it doesn't matter. It's like, so many they feel like safe, you know, it's like it doesn't matter. It's like yeah So many people like my friend group everybody fucked everybody. Well, you're a bunch of fucking freaks We're a bunch of freaks living in a living in a fucking uh, warehouse with no heat So you had to fuck each other for warmth in the winter time more than anything. That's so true. It wasn't even twisted to do

To fuck anymore. It became twisted to not fuck. So anyway pal, look, don't tell your friend, just internalize this, it's really not that big a deal. So you just know, most people don't get access to their friend's significant others, wild sides. They all had them. We've all had them. So you just have too much information.

Don't create a problem that doesn't need to exist. And more importantly, grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today and keep it twisted. Whoa, whoa, I'm getting sent back to Los Angeles, man! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like that Mo? No. No? What's the last one? Is the last one a good one? Okay that's the last one? Alright let's do that one Yeah, say no more. Let's end on that one. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Stav. Big fan of yours.

Love listening to the pod. Hey, Eldis. Hey, Esteem. He doesn't love you. He's not here. Wanted to give a call in and ask for some advice. Essentially, I am trying to go through a bit of a health kick where I'm trying to eat better.

But my wife is a person who loves to shop for deals and she routinely routinely finds the bags of candies or candy chocolates that are on sale and will buy them and bring them home. Which is great. I love that she's all about a good deal and saving money, but whenever she has these sweets in the house, I am very tempted to eat them and I don't know if it would be wrong of me to ask her to stop doing it Jesus Christ This guy is so scared of his wife, it's crazy Or if there's any advice you can give me how to keep from that temptation

Um, whether I work through not being tempted, no longer wanting to eat chocolates and candy or station with my wife to stop buying them and Filling our not filling up our pantry, but he won't even find them and you won't even use harsh Language in the description of this. I love how you're saying like, well, I really respect that she's saving money on candy. It's not fucking dry, it's not shit you need. Yeah. It's like she always gets a mail deal. There's no such thing as a good deal

on something you don't need. Yeah, exactly, truly. Like, what is it like? Do you live in a dimension where Halloween is every day? What do you need fucking, what do you need candy, what do you need to save money on candy for? I'm picturing like, you know, when you check out at Marshall's and they have all those little tubs.

That's still weird bullshit. It's like six years old. It's like something you've never heard of. It's like Cinnamon Twix. Yeah. It's like what? The coffee flavor. Some fucking Twizzler flavor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mango Guava Twizzlers. I also like how he was like, and she brings it home, and I become tempted by them. Yeah. It's like sexual almost. Yeah. It's like there's two problems here that he can't talk

to his wife, and two, that he can't resist candy. Yeah. But I do love that he's like, should I have a pretty straightforward conversation with my wife or should I become the type of person that is not tempted by candy? He's like, should I completely redo the way I'm programmed? Should I become like a fucking, should I get like Buddhist monk level?

You can't beat sugar. Sugar has a crazy hold over our society. Yeah. You know what I mean? Amen brother. You gotta keep it. I'm legit. You're actually right. That is a serious chemical brother and you might laugh about it. I'm serious. Chocolate flavored, but that is a drug that is very powerful. Same as alcohol or anything. We're in the weird vortex of both joking and serious about this. It's like I mean? It's like, it is crazy. It's like the most addictive substance. It's so much. I have done every drug. I can't stop drinking Cokes.

Yeah, yeah, you're too sloth. Yeah, no, she's fine. Really, really sloth. But no, I know, but like, I have gotten fucked up on pretty much everything. I mean, I've never shot heroin, but I've taken plenty of pills that are the same thing. And without a doubt, like, candy's crazy.

It's so much, you could put Xanax and there's like chocolate covered almonds and I will eat the chocolate covered almond. Then like, that's what, I mean, I'm in a hotel. I'm fucked because of the little snack bar they got. You're getting Jordan almonds? Dude, they're so good. Jordan ones are good too.

Those are the funniest candy on the planet. Well I guess that's candy coated right? Candy coated. Jordan almonds are interesting because Greek people use them as actually, to me they're very, to me they have a religious connotation. Yeah they definitely do. Because Greek people give them out on a baptism. They're part of, you get a little party favor and you get Jordan almonds. Yeah. And so I just, I would cry, sometimes I would find like old ones that my mom forgot about and I would just stale ass Jordan Allman's. Just like a fat little five year old.

But yeah, I mean this guy is so scared of his wife, it's hysterical. I guess there's three problems going on. Yeah, that is the problem. Sugar, fear, wife. Insane wife fear. Fear. Insane wife fear. What's the other fear? Weight gain, sugar, losing control. Yeah, that's that is Yeah, fear wife insane wife here Trying to lose weight yeah, it's amazing so you think that your wife values Saving money on candy that it's not clear is actually necessary in your home more than she values

Helping you have a healthier and longer life, you think your wife would get pissed? I feel like it's a really, I don't like confrontation at all, but I think even I could deal with this one. I could be like, hey babe, I just, you know, I'm trying not to eat so much candy. Can you stop buying Reese's? You should actually motivate her by doing, hire someone on Fiverr, get a kid in Sweden,

wherever to design a picture of you with cum gutters. Right. You're fully jacked. So sexy. Like, Alseveld, like, Senui. Say, this is me without candy. And if you continue to bring this into our household. That's perfect.

Yeah. You're killing this guy. This man will never live. He's going to be smited by his wife for doing that. Yeah, I mean, I would love to talk to this guy about his relationship with his wife. There might be something deeper going on. There is something so much.

He sounded very innocent, so maybe there's not. Maybe there's just. What if she's like one of those, like, you know that relationship dynamic where like someone's like force feeding the other one? Ooh, feed her. Like they wanna. Oh, she's a feeder?

A candy feeder? And she's trying to keep him. I'm really scared of finding somebody like that. Oh, yeah. If someone like that enters my life, I'm done. If a hot woman was like, have more dessert, do you know how fucked I'd be? Don't you want to stay in bed?

I can bring you food. Oh, man. I would be done. That's a horror movie. That's the same thing. Yes. Yeah, yeah, that's truly like, that would destroy me. Destroy me.

There is no more devious person to bring into my life. Baby, you hungry? I mean, that would kill me. Kill me. Destroy me, there is no more devious person to bring into my life than that. Baby, you hungry? I mean, that would kill me. Kill me. So yeah, dude, I mean, I don't know what to tell you, you're a fucking coward. God bless you.

Talk to your wife. Yeah, God bless you. Talk to your wife, it's insane that you're even asking this question. Or just say fuck it and have a little candy every day. Or have a bite. Who the fuck can you hear? Yeah, well that's the other question.

She's gonna taste. the other question is like, the other question is why, how out of shape are you? Yes. Does she want you in, is this a weird thing where she's like, you're too fat? And then she's also bringing candy? Like, we're really putting, she could just be a nice woman who likes buying candy, but at the same time,

that's possible, but either way, you need to learn to stand up for yourself in the most minute ways possible. I can't think of, like you just said, Katie, this is barely confrontation. In a vacuum, this isn't even something you worry about. So it's either you're scared of your wife or you're such a people pleaser.

He's so worried about bringing anything up that he wants. I'm sure he's got a whole world of problems. Find some coupons for fruit or something. Pass those to her, sneak them under her pillow at night. Yeah. And then, you know. Oh God, I'd hate to think that she thinks she's doing something really sweet.

That's, that's, that's tragic. And it's all one conversation. It's one conversation that could have solved everything. Instead, get a call in the podcast. So go talk to her, man. Just talk to her. Also, it's just like, how much candy is in this house? Who's eating it?

I don't know. There's many questions unanswered. What's she like? You know what I mean? Like is she like a little, is she a little plump? She doesn't give a fuck? Is he, is that his actual problem? I mean, there's so many questions here, folks.

And we'll never get to the bottom of it. Clip hanger. Yeah, but. I loved this question. Talk to your wife, brother. And you know what I think will really help your relationship? A night out at the movies. Don't you guys think?

Wow, wow. You know where they got candy? But full price. Actually, we're sneaking in cheap candy actually saves you money, the movie theater. Have your last bite. Have your last bite at a showing of let's start a cult available to rent or purchase on VOD right now

But go do that. Thank you guys so much anything else you guys want sorry We only put anything else you want people to see no great. Look at the movie Thanks for doing this was so fun guys. We literally will do this again next time we do an LA one And yeah, that's gonna do it for us folks. Thanks for listening. Thanks for doing this was so fun guys. We literally will do this again next time. We do an LA one And yeah, that's gonna do it for us folks. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching Go see let's start a cult on VOD this week this Tuesday, November 12th So see you next time guys. Bye. Bye Bye!