Stavvy's World - #104 - Caleb Hearon

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

Caleb Hearon joins the pod for a special Thanksgiving edition to discuss his new movie SWEETHEARTS (Max), his holiday family get-togethers, his favorite treats as a child, Stavvy's off-putting congratulatory text to Caleb, why Caleb loved Jackass as a child, living in a luxury trailer, how Stav triggers Caleb's fight or flight, the presidential election, hiding in a church during a tornado, and much more. Caleb and Stav help callers including a widowed single mom who got friendzoned by her ex, and a guy who feels unjustly obligated to pay for his girlfriend's friend when the three of them go out. Exclusive $45-off Carver Mat at AuraFrames.com. Use code STAVVY at checkout to save! Grab some TDs with DraftKings Sportsbook – they’re on sale from Thanksgiving through Cyber Monday! Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVVY to opt in. For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Visit https://www.thuma.co/ to get $100 off your first bed purchase. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

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you can help protect the environment and save money. Simple actions like planning your meals, storing food correctly, and using everything you purchase make a big difference. Learn how to make every bite count at toronto.ca slash food waste. Welcome everybody to Stavisworld 904 800 Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. It's fucking it's Thanksgiving. It's the Monday of Thanksgiving and my beautiful friend Caleb is

here. Thanks for coming Caleb. Thanks for having me buddy. How's it going man? It's great. I love being in here. You love being in Greece. Eldest just called you a beautiful hulking man Yeah, Eldest called me a fat f*** Right before we started recording. By the way, go ahead. I'm a beautiful hulking man myself You are And brother, look, you're not gonna find any mistreatment from me. I see how you're treated When the cameras are off. Stavi's not nice to this guy.

I run a real degenerate style ship around here. Yeah, watching Stavi's podcast at this point is like buying fucking Nike when they were doing child factory shit. There's some unsavory business practices. When? Don't fucking try to swage your guilt. They're out of it, they stopped. Yeah, right.

Yeah, right. What kind of socks are you wearing, motherfucker? They got the check on them. No, my deal with Nike says I can't talk about that. Gotta pay that mortgage, brother. Oh, man. Thank you for coming to Queens. It's beautiful to have you here.

What were your Thanksgivings like, man? Because I did a little research. I listened to the podcast you did with your mother. A beautiful person. Did you listen to the whole episode? I did. Oh, she's funny. She's great. She's great. And you were, it sounds like a little gay terror as a child. You were just a little emotional. Homo al-Qaeda leader. I'd like to lead with the story about how you weren't grateful about a television

she purchased you on Christmas. And she clawed, she fought. Black Friday, she stood out there, a woman working three jobs to get you a TV for you to watch. I'm gonna guess Clueless on TBS. Okay. Yeah.

I'm just guessing. I would rein it in a little bit. Am I off? just guessing. I would rein it in a little bit. Am I off? No! But I would rein it in a little bit. If I was off, I'd take it back. But I just feel like I nailed it. Hey, you're a little comfortable. You're right.

But it's a little familiar. I just guessed. I said I'm gonna guess. If it was wrong, that's what we like to call bet, you know, and it hit Maybe hey listen did I did me and elders watch Clues on TBS to yes, we had different reasons maybe but it's all good and you That was that really stuck out to me But I just I wanted to imagine what what your what your thanks?

What your typical Thanksgiving setup was like where did you go? Because you also have a very interesting your family's interesting you have like a lot of like you were close to your grandparents But your dad wasn't really around like you're close to his side of the family, but he was out and about I love to get into him Yeah, he sounds cool. I love by the way just looking over at my friend saying to me, your dad wasn't really around. And by the way, a turkey costume. In a turkey costume, right into your broken home. Talking about the holidays, which is probably the time it's the most painful to think about your dad not being around. My guest today was not lovable enough as a child,

and so his father did clock out. Caleb Potts? Why do you think your dad left you? On this beautiful Thanksgiving Monday, why do you think? So you're sitting around watching these faggy little movies, I imagine, and your dad can't tolerate it. So he goes to get milk and never quite makes it back. What do you think of that? What do you think of that? He probably got

distracted watching other boys playing football, playing two-hand dodge. I'll tell you what. Oh you were in there. Oh my god and you know what you know what a lot of people don't talk about Jackass. Jackass was great for gay for gay boys Interesting is all the older all the cute older guys were like getting into like ball sack stuff, right? I do what if my ball sack was out? That's just I never see I thought the ball sack was a Safe space because I couldn't really it didn't feel sexual You thought that's many many straight guys think that the ball sack is a non-sexual Yeah, of neutrality. Yes. Yes. It's the Switzerland of genitalia

Friends in high school they're obsessed with doing ball sack bits and every time I was like I like to see that yeah You know it is the brain That's what doing ball sack bits and every time I was like I like to see that yeah You know it is nice to see the brain Yeah, and brain just to see a ball sack and just to know that I'm not really supposed to see the ball sack sure You know it was hot and then there's something a little naughty also They couldn't help themselves they get the ball sack out for the bit And then all of a sudden they want to put a top hat on their dick Jackass was very homosexual to me absolutely well it definitely I could hunt you turn that one degree

And it's get it's the first part of gay porn of a very specific gay porn Maybe a half a degree maybe maybe you just turn the cameras off and you could imagine They're sucking tell me bangs to go get a breather Why don't you fucking dump the footage man? Why don't you fucking dump the footage man? We're gonna Steve just got stung by a thousand bees It seems only fair to me get Johnny Knoxville's gay little ass in there. Mm-hmm. He was cute He was cute. They were cute cute guy even BAM at the time, you know, there's a little skater Yeah, it is skater twink era. I could see yeah the one in there was cute Ryan Dunn he may he rest in peace he rest in peace so they were all doing it

for me but my Thanksgiving's my grandma my grandma was hosted grandma's the bet that's a great Thanksgiving dude you want okay yeah story please since you want to hear about my dad I do I actually do because there wasn't and by the way we're here Caleb we're we were both in a movie that's Thanksgiving. Yeah. Sweethearts. It's out on HBO or I guess just Max now. Yeah, it's on Max. It's on Max on Thanksgiving.

Max on Thanksgiving in a couple days. This is Monday. We're preparing you for Thanksgiving. You're in it. You're very, I'm in it for a little bit. You got one scene of me. And you kill it. Thank you.

I appreciate it. Murder it. The improv comes through. Thank you. Yes. Yeah, I got to yell it to young actors too successful Yeah at the time there's my first acting gig I'd ever done and I had to be a guy Yelling at the stars of the movie at too hot too hot like 22 year olds or whatever Yeah, and it was fun to do because it was like I'm a piece of shit it felt real I was playing a piece of shit down on his luck. Yeah, I Was pretty close my career actually did take off after that

I was kind of a piece of shit down on his luck down on his luck I love that and so I really took it out on Nico and Kiernan, you know, I really let him have it you texted me I didn't I wasn't there for your scene because I thought was a part of the filming block that my character wasn't in yet. And you texted me, I guess you had seen maybe like part of the script or something, but I have a big role in the movie. You do.

And you texted me, I don't know why I remember this, but I will not forget it. You text me, dude, I'm really excited for you. You really get to let your nuts hang in this one. I was like, dude. I was like, stop, Ross. We weren't even like really good. We hadn't even met in person yet. I was like, stop it. I was like, stop, Ross. We weren't even like really good. Like, we hadn't even met in person yet.

I was like, stop it. I just thought you were a funny guy. I was like, stop it. I was like, stop it. But you do. You do get to let your nuts hang. I do. I do get to let my nuts hang as Palmer.

Like a gay teen. You're a gay teen, yes. And we shot this, what, two years ago? In fact, three. Three. Yeah. So you were playing a gay teen, and you which and we shot this what two years ago In fact three three. Yeah, so you were playing a gay team. You were 26 years old at the time Yeah, I would have been 26 27. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think so half years ago. Oh, yeah, I was playing a teenager I love that for that by the way. It's about time fat people get to do that You know what I mean? Yeah, never let a fat 27 year old play a team. It's all Let a fat 27 year old play a team. It's all

You're a you honestly are breaking the glass ceiling. I am Dawson's Creek all that shit every teen movie It's always like 20 and 27 28 year olds. Yeah, they keep it tight. Yeah, they don't They don't let my boy out here crashing through the glass doors with the buffet your Kool-Aid manning through I'm doing it for all of us, And I love that. I'm breaking the plastic launch here for Fat Guys. Yes you are brother. So that's so basically just to give a little context everybody that's why we're doing this Thanksgiving episode and I also had another thing I'm a bad host because I was gonna say we're talking about Thanksgiving anyways the Thanksgiving movie. Oh, and to prepare for this podcast, like I said, I listened to the episode with your mom. So plug the

movie and then also just go watch that, only that episode of So True with Caleb, just the one with his mom. And then come right back here. Don't subscribe. The last thing I need is for people that actually prefer you. That I kind of scratch 50% of what it is, because I'm like not as problematic as other straight comics, they find you. You're in big trouble. The Venn diagram, I know. You're in big trouble. So don't check out too much of Caleb's stuff. If you're coming over because you don't like, you know, if I'm just the least problematic

of all the available options, you're going to love him. We also have the lovable fat guy thing. Yeah, you're gonna love him. We also have the lovable fat guy thing. You're crushing me on that too. Yeah. If you guys like Stavi, you're gonna love certain parts of the art. Let's not get crazy. It's not a full thing. I don't want to, I don't want to lose all the women. Basically the few women we've gripped to get onto this podcast. Don't abandon me for Caleb. I know. I know you like you'd like a funner, you know, gay version of me who's even who's more worldly, you know, just has more energy to doesn't phone in his podcast.

You try. You had research. You had asked me stuff. Yeah, I just watched one podcast while I was doing the dishes. That's all I've done. If you guys are watching Stavi and going, I love this, I wish I knew who this guy voted for. Come on over to So True Podcast. Come on, the politics are right over there. Stavi's doing this mysterious playing the middle thing. How dare you?

Don't worry about it guys. Come over to So True, we're gonna take good care of you. How dare you? It's not, here's the thing, here's where we are. Ready? I won't let you, like, I definitely didn't vote for Trump, but you don't know not. Here's the thing. Here's where we are. Ready? I won't let you like I definitely didn't vote for Trump, but you don't know if I voted for Kamala.

Yeah. Whereas you we know MSNBC Caleb over here. You actually don't know what I did. Oh really? You think you do, but you'll notice I never said I was voting for Kamala. Oh shit. No. I didn't.

But I was dismayed about it. But I voted in Missouri. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. That's. But I voted in Missouri so I felt like it made more of a difference. Okay, that's fair. That's fair, that's fair. I voted in New York and it didn't matter what you did anyway. Right.

So. You voted, you wrote in Stavros. I wrote in myself. I voted that. Hey, as a ticket. We would kill. We would kill. We would win every electoral vote.

Yeah. But you probably wouldn't even do that with me. You probably don't even want't even do that with me. You probably don't even want to run for office. I'd love to be. I would be VP though. I don't want to be president. Oh, for sure. There's no chance.

OK. What is that? I was being nice. I'm older. I'm more experienced. I'm smarter. Holy. 35.

You could run. I'm the only one who could run. I'm between me and you. I'm the only one who could legally run. Yeah. So show some respect to your elders, is what I'm saying. You fucking win great. The point I'm making me and you I can I'm the only one who can legally run. Yeah, so show some respect to your The point I'm making is don't actually don't even watch zone with his mom I'd forget I mentioned his podcast. Okay, but watch the movie. It's a Thanksgiving movie and Back to the Thanksgiving question about your grandmother. Just while we're talking about all this. Do you want to tell them that?

You have refused to have me on your show until it was about a movie that you're also You have dodged me at parties You've seen me on the subway and run the other way absolutely ducked out Wow I love looking at photos of my most cherished loved ones possessions and experiences. Oh Hey guys looking at photos of my most cherished loved ones, possessions and experiences. Oh, hey guys. Sorry, you call me looking at my classic Carver matte frame from Aura. And the holidays are all about connecting with loved ones.

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using promo code Stavi at checkout that's a ura frames comm promo code Stavi this exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply. No, Thanksgiving. Okay, so here's a story for you. Yeah. About my absentee father. Love it. Who has died.

At this point, so we can talk about this stuff. R.I.P. He, one Thanksgiving, my dad was a really confusing kind of guy where he was like, my dad, you could never really pin him down. Like he, in one sentence He would be like Hillary Clinton is a lizard and then he'd be like fuck the police, you know Like he just was such a you love that. No, he was awesome Him down and it was honestly he was fascinating

Yeah But he he like sometimes we have this really strange moral uprightness kind of thing Even though he wasn't a super conservative guy didn't make a lot of sense. He was like a video gamer I don't know Oh early gamer early gamer no PCs and shit like my dad my dad really was brilliant Like he was a very smart guy. Yeah, also an asshole. Yeah, so he was really funny Yeah, but one Thanksgiving me and my uncle Andy were playing We-fit we were like doing the we-fit stuff and Andy was balding at the time is still balding. Sorry Andy and

It's relevant These are godfucking Christ cross-eyed he's a very handsome gentleman who I love dearly love it, but he was balding at the time and it matters because He had gotten like a much older Wii Fit score than me, you know, you've gotten like 82 or something you know game is sure and we were sitting at the dinner My dad's sitting in the living room and on Thanksgiving. This is when I was like maybe 16 okay, right and my whole family I've gotten a driver's license now Oh, that's big my whole family is worried that I'm gonna stop coming around to my dad's side because me and my because my dad's kind Of an asshole sure I go maybe when Caleb has a choice. He won't come around

They're worried about that my dad's side because me and my because my dad's kind of an asshole sure I go maybe when Caleb has a choice he won't come around I know your dad's kind of asshole please continue to come around yeah yeah yeah so I'm now bring my own Thanksgiving Thanksgiving day okay and we're having the meal extended family is over mm-hmm and I'm giving Andy shit about you know we're goofing off and I was like yeah I was like oh the guy who's 82 years old this 82 year old over here or something Some stupid little joke about our we fit agents because we're goofing off sure my dad for some reason in the other room thinks that I am Disrespecting Andy and doesn't know the context of the we fit I guess yeah And thinks I'm just like cracking a joke about somebody's age yes, you're being ageist yeah, and I am but not in that moment

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're against the old. I don't like elderly people. No. Because you never plan on becoming one. Yeah, certainly not. Yeah, you went on checking out. Past 45. So, I make this joke to Andy and my dad stands up in the living room and starts screaming at me. Whoa, middle of Thanksgiving. Middle of Thanksgiving. Mind you, we're all eating at the table, he's eating in the living room. This is the kind of guy we're talking about. Interesting. He just... Oh, this is main meal. This is the meal. Wow. This isn't even the post, the second meal, where everyone's on the couch watching football. Some are having dessert, some are having their second course. This is the one. Where everyone's grabbed their first roll. And he's by himself in the living room? Not by himself. My grandpa always watches TV in there. It's actually not that weird for us, but anyway. Stan's started screaming at me. And I'm like shell-shocked because I literally at this point,

I can't understand why I'm getting in trouble. And my dad also, as much of an asshole as he is, he's never like screamed at me. Like just going off. And I was like, what is going on? But before I could say anything, my uncle Travis, who is 10 12 years younger than my dad and like a total my cool hippie guy he lives on a farm in

rural Missouri and just like he's just like a total he has no phone you can't get a hold of oh well he's like he like studied like sculpture in community college they moved out and took over the farm from his dad he's a total like Missouri hippie mm-hmm Zen dude I think the first book he recommended to me was Zen in the art of motorcycle maintenance. Oh, yeah. Okay. He's like he's like a killer chill, dude Yeah, and like a thinker and like a quiet guy my uncle Travis my dad starts in he maybe gets 30 seconds into his yelling And my uncle Travis he has ever goes I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now he's screaming at my dad. Just riles up, riles up your coolest, most chill uncle. Oh, and then so now all of us were definitely dismayed by dad, but not shocked. Sure. Now that Uncle Travis is yelling, we're all like, whoa.

What's going on? We're so confused. What's in the air? Yeah, yeah. My dad is shocked and does sit down and shut up. Wow. And then it was like, we just kind of go back to having the meal. And later on, to Andy, I was like, I. And then it was like, we just kind of go back to having the meal.

And later on to Andy, I was like, I mean, obviously that was insane, but did you know what I was after with that? Yeah. And he was like, yeah, I don't know what your dad was on about. Damn. We were having fun. And he just chose that moment to just fucking. And it was really funny because my dad has a lot of iconic blow ups.

Most of our, now that he's passed, a lot of our blow ups like most of our like love that he's passed a lot of our like when we're sitting around laughing about old dad stories it's a lot of like maybe that time he went off on the milkman embarrassing of him for him yeah look back fondly on his yes yes but this one was so bizarre yeah I had a meltdown dead too but it was never there was still have too much fondness just a lot of broken coffee tables it was a lot of yeah threatening to have well YouTube has been frowning upon this the thing my dad threatened to do you really can't talk about it too much on YouTube

anymore but you know kind of let's say he kept threatening to check out When things weren't going his way king yeah He really behaved like Kind of like a yeah kind of like sky Ferreira type insane, but you know you know like B what is it the manic? What's the thing that hot girls have many pixie dream girl? No, no the like the one where they're insane and BPD BPD

Yeah, he kind of had a little BPD vibes going by the way. Yeah, just want to check in with you Yeah, it's not just girls who have Just think of it as a hot girl disease. Some of the best pussy of all time also goes hand in hand. And I think my dad had a little bit of that going on. And I'm not a good pussy. He had good pussy and hot girl BPD. I honestly don't think my dad had good pussy if I had to guess.

Not big on hygiene. He was out there. A lot of sawdust in his pussy if I had to guess not a big not big on hygiene You know he was out there a lot of sawdust in his pussy if I had to guess yeah, nothing you're interested When you might talk about my dad's I've told you this before it triggers my fight or flight Scary thing to me cuz you're such a I like you a lot Scary it's just scary thing to me because you're such a I like you a lot When you talk about pussy, it's like I'm reminded that you're kind of an animal Yeah, sometimes you have that you know you have you can have people had like alligators as pets Yeah, or rhinoceroses you know what I mean like that's kind of I'm like we're like an that friendship where it's like a dog

And a cheetah you know what I mean? I'm like a cheetah unlike of course Adorable and you're like a little dangerous When you came on my show there were a lot of comments people being like I am shocked at this No, but but it makes sense though because you also are you're straight up from Missouri. You can hang with anyone, dude You know what I mean like the goal that is the and that is also part of it of like Because you grew up in a very like a small-ass Yeah town where like and you were saying everybody's like pretty you know just the the I would assume that the You know where you start is like

Kind of conservative like most people you know Christian. You know super religious that kind of thing everyone is straight white Christian damn Yeah, everyone is straight right Christian. There might be a couple there a couple Democrats sprinkled in there, but they keep it real tight Yeah, yeah, you talk about Yeah, yeah, yeah, you talk about you know something the town kind of knows yeah, yeah, they're like they're like Pam's a Democrat Don't bring that up. Yeah, don't bring it up in mixed company or do it it doesn't matter. She doesn't have any allies yeah Spreading totally totally very very straight white conservative. Yeah, yeah Yeah, and so that's the end and it's just it's injured because I think but you So you can just hang with that that type of guy also. Yeah, so anybody even a little off that you're good

I'm chilling you're doing you hang out kinds of people. I grew up around the dumbest You know fucking most ignorant trash of all time Yeah but you also bring you it's interesting because people people that people that are very left and very like a little like You know like they still love you. Yeah, that's very interesting. Well, that's the thing That's that we got to stop being tattletales. Yeah the people They've said if anything has been proven is that like you can't be the, people, even though it's unfair,

that is the perception. Is anyone, people say, when, and look, some of them are dumb. I've talked to my friends and I'm like, the left doesn't just mean getting you fired because you said slurs. It's a whole other set of beliefs, but it's like, I'm firmly on the anti-tattletale thing.

We gotta be cool, chill bros. You know, we gotta say pussy every once in a while yeah I'm allowing it. I'm gonna say my feelings about it. But ultimately on your show why didn't you say pussy? And I knew it would come up. I came here knowing the pussy would arise in the condo. Again, I said pussy I'm trying to be an ally. Trying to make you feel comfortable. You at first said I think my dad has good pussy in BPD. Okay, you know. Okay, immediately I realized now I did actually say pussy.

Strike that from the record please, let that show. What do you think about this idea that we need a, you know something that's popped up out of the election is people being like we need a leftist Joe Rogan. What do you think about this idea that we need a, you know, something that's popped up out of the election is people being like, we need a leftist Joe Rogan. What do you think of that? That's hilarious. I don't, what would that even look like? Like, what is that? That's what I'm wondering. Yeah. I mean, I guess they just mean, maybe it's just a kind of media that is not explicitly about politics. Yeah. of media that is not explicitly about politics and then you just like get people into like you and

then it's like at the end you kind of switch switcheroo them because even like it is i'm actually kind of shocked that he support like he endorsed trump like that actually was shocking to me too like i know him i didn't think that was something he would do and i think maybe that's more the thing of like get people in get them gets like yeah, no shit It would be great to have an insanely popular pop culture figure. Yeah, that has your politics Duh, that would be good to have but it's interesting that he escapes. I was extremely disappointed in his endorsement of Trump Yeah, that's not because that's that yeah Yeah, also that but because I was like oh, I didn't have a ton of respect for that guy personally

I lost any shred that I did have and I gotta say I lost some respect for Tim Doe and having JD Vance on JD Vance thinks yeah, I agree with you. I was like what do you do? I loved him, but no you do it I know and I also think it's weird to this elect to see this election and be like To think either one of them was good to be honest was like I would I I get not being pumped about Comma that I do fully understand right but to then be like well that means Trump's good I mean that's how like little kids think it's either a or B but I mean that is the problem with the the like two-party system you automatically think if you don't like the thing you have always

supported if you come from like traditional Democrat like a lot of people in fucking New York voted for Trump a lot of AOC Voters voted for Trump because they were like and she did a thing where she was like I asked My constituents who voted for both me and Trump why they did it and they're like He's trying to shake it up. Just like you you're both out like and it's that thought and it's like well now We'll see like yeah, you know, hopefully, you know He's already Matt Gates is already fucking These are the people that say any gay guys a groomer and you put a literal guy under investigation for sex trafficking is the attorney I mean what the fuck? We're like in the same breath. They're like we're worried about the integrity of women swimming. Yeah

Sex trafficking guys should be the head lawman He just looks stupid as shit by the way the work is the fillers tough Yeah, he's looking like he's looking like the beauty and the beast. It's not good over there Yeah, it's work is bad. Well out of their work is bad. Yeah, because you try imagine what a right wing Plastic surgery. Yeah, yeah, like a right wing lip filler guy. Yeah, that's not good. You need a gay person You need you need enough gay guys to form a quorum to tell you if it's good or not Ironically, you need somebody who does like gender-affirming surgery Yeah, that's true. Some of the trans doctors. They do I work right I've I am so like the I've had I'm working on this idea

Where it's like even if you hate trans people right? The like doctors like if they can make they will make you some of the ugliest people right like these these Transphobic people right it's these transphobic people right? It's like trans doctors are fucking figuring shit out man. They are like oh, they're lacing They are fucking doing incredible stuff, and they're were gender-affirming carriers That's a that's a tight sometimes. I could be a tight window to like I said making like if you're born a dude You become a sexy lady. It's like that's impressive. Yeah, it takes a lot of work It's a lot harder than be going from fat to not fat yeah I'll tell you that much well it is

it's pretty hard to lose weight there's some easy steps Caleb then we can fucking do it bro I'm saying but they respect that so much and it's I mean yeah for us yeah but for somebody but like. Yeah, for us, yeah. Yeah. Made for somebody. But like, like, like, my example, Ben Shapiro, squeaky voice. Yeah. You're telling me trans doctors aren't gonna figure out how to get deeper. A little tea and a voice coach?

How to get, exactly. Well testosterone and a voice coach, we can fix you right up, brother. Ben Shapiro should be on board just to get that deep. He could be fucking awesome, you know what I mean? You know what I'm worried about? I want, I want beards, You know what I mean like you want more I want I want like a beer a sicker beard. They're working on that shit

I think they could do that for you. I think there might be something in Turkey I go to Turkey check it out. I might if you want to I think you look great But anyway fuck you know fuck Matt Gates whatever you know about what's that? I did a Z ways show yesterday We recorded it's not out yet I don't know if it'll be out by the time this comes out your canceled by the time this comes out Well, I did I did go on a pretty here's the thing I went on a long rant. She basically was listing off Republican figures and I called every one of them faggots And she she she doing the interview was like,

I'm a little worried about you saying all of this. But I was, it was in a joking spirit, you know? And she was like, so you think they're gay? And I was like, no, I don't think, I'm not guessing at their sexuality. I'm saying, putting on an LL Bean flannel and rolling up the sleeves and pretending to be working class

when you go to Yale and Harvard. That's drag. That's drag. That's drag. That's drag. And it's faggy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little faggy. And so I'm worried that the interview's going to come out cut up, and I'm going to look, and gay people

are going to get mad at me. Well, here, now. Say it now. Say it now. I don't mean. We don't edit anything. Yeah. We don't even shut it out.

The audio's bad on this show. Yeah. So you have the floor. To do whatever you want, whatever slur you want little buddy. We'll let that fly on Stobbies World. They are just kind of. I know what you mean. It's just interesting to me that all these right wing guys that are cornering the market on, because everyone's in a moral panic right now about young men.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And you have a lot of young men fans. And we're trying to get them, this is trying to, this is the anti-insel podcast. Yeah, the whole idea is if I can do it you can do it my brother That's all I'm saying to the boys out there. Don't go the tater out come to Stavis world. Yeah, we will get you some pussy I'm on board now We'll get you some pussy and we will see the results of the ballot box. Is that what you want? That's what I'm here for Caleb We'll see the results of the ballot box that we want. That's what I'm here for

Young men wanting pussy as a vehicle to get to the ballot and that's that's the secret of let's be honest all of civilization Come on, unfortunately also in terms of it says look, this is the politics corner now Yeah, since we're doing it you should be everyone should be pro women's choice even, I mean you just should be, but it's like, just think of it as if you want to be pro-busting, you gotta be pro-choice. If you like to nut. If you want to nut in a woman, you gotta be pro-choice. Full stop. Full, hear me now, young man.

If you want to bust, you must be pro-choice We did it we saved democracy No, but I do think it's funny that like these these guys that are cornering the manhood conversation Yeah, like Andrew Tate mm-hmm like Matt Gaetz like yeah all these guys bench a bureau. They're not pretty gay They're they're not they're not Matt. They're not compelling. They're not strong. They're all weak They're not they're not they're not compelling. They're not strong. They're all weak Limp-wristed like yeah more me little creatures I'm like all the men I grew up with would have actively hated you on site for sure on site for sure for sure I just don't understand how it happened. Yeah, how they got the conversation on manhood. I don't know it's interesting I don't know manly than those guys you are and I'm like I'm stronger my boys come to me

Yeah, boys come on over to... Boys hear me now. Yeah, here we go. Boys hear me now. If you want another one... You have got to vote for abortion rights. Put it down. Put my applause.

Yep. That's our fucking... That's our... That's... In five years, I guess, we're gonna have to wait two presidential cycles. Yep. When you're the... When we run together.

When we run together we run together Yeah, chop this up build this Here in Halkus 2020. Oh fuck. It'll be 2030. Yeah, 2032. Hey, is it heron one of us won't be here Place your bets folks Get on Polymarket right now and ask what half of this ticket is going to make it to the run. But we will see to it that our ideas make it even though, though we will have expired our ideas will live forever. We will be immortal through our, if you must bust, you must vote for abortion rights.

We're going to work on the wording for sure. Yeah, we'll get work on it. Must bust is killing. Must bust. The back half is sloppy. It's a little sloppy. on the wording for sure. Yeah Bust is killing must but back half is Yeah, yeah Mmm, right now. It's kind of a it's like if you want to bust you must get to the ballot box and support a woman Yeah, yeah, it's we got it we got to clean it up and we will we absolutely will we've got a couple years We've got a couple. Well I was telling my friend we need someone to start a party in this country that is it's called rent and dinner

Mm-hmm the rent and dinner party and that's all I give a fuck about. Yep. I don't care low You can buy a nice dinner. You can afford to go to Chili's. Yeah And a triple dipper is an option every night a triple dipper. We are fucking crushing dude We're filling out the whole platform right now a triple dipper. We are fucking crushing dude. We're filling out the whole platform right now I'll triple dipper on every table. Yep a rent check in every mailbox and In and somebody to come with in every day Yes, yes, absolutely that'd be beautiful. I love it. You were were you always like a did you do like? Like student government were you like a political yeah hell yeah dude hell yeah

you've been running I did too I ran for some stuff I was an intense little I was an intense little zealot yeah I was hardcore I was like my energy in high school could best be described as just like yeah yeah like I wanted yes you know anything totally anything to get attention but for the for not being gay right you were channeling it So you were entertained you also had that I think everybody ends up being comedian Can be so annoying before because they have to get those laughs out somewhere anywhere So you have that like performer like you're both a closeted performer and a closeted gay man all at once

Yeah, and so you got it. I'm that fucking I bet that student body government Like that shot out like all fire hose the what's like, you know It's like tap dancing and sneakers and being like it's not gay cuz I'm not wearing the shoes. Yeah Just put on the shoes brother. So you yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was really kidding here. Who are we kidding? I was so into student council. I was so into school spirit. Mmm Who are we kidding here? Who are we kidding? I was so into student council, I was so into school spirit. That's another one of my long-standing theories that parades aren't as good since gay guys

have been able to come out of the closet. Yeah. The Fourth of July parades in the 40s? Are you kidding me? The 50s? Oh my god, the bomb and circumstance. That's all they had, dude. That's all those guys had.

I do think gay being illegal again would really... I would come more than ever. I would come harder than I've ever come. I would have to guess the sex would be much hotter sex was crazy yeah who was I talking to you're a freedom fighter every time you fuck a guy there was that must feel cool there was some yeah it's revolutionary every time I suck some guy off it's red dawn for freedom is in, it's the war for independence. If a guy blows me in the park, that's literally like the Boston Tea Party. I can't remember who told me this, but some older gay guy told a friend of mine who related

to me, he said my favorite thing to do back when, you know, when being like the 70s and 80s when being gay was still so taboo and they would do park cruising. He said it was called a, it was called a, like a strawberry sundae or something. And I was like, what's that? And he was like, oh, that's where you would suck a straight guy off in the park. And then as soon as he came, he would punch you.

What the fuck? Because he was so mad at you for being gay. That was his favorite thing. And he would get a nose bleed. And I was like, oh. But you know what? I understood it. I understood it. I was like, oh. But you know what? I understood it. I understood it.

I was like, the danger of like, is it going to be one punch? Is he going to kill me? Right. I mean, of course, I don't want that actually. Of course. But when this older gay guy says this, I go, I do know what you were tapping into. Sure, sure, sure.

I don't like it for me. I don't want it to be actually happening. And it is dangerous. And it's good that it's like not happening. It shouldn't be happening. But I do think we could that's that's the extreme version That I had older roller coasters without safety for him. They went faster. Yeah now did a couple kids die every summer Yes, they did and that's bad, but did we lose some of our finest young men at schlitterbond?

We did because he had to do the loop-de-loop But guess what it was a lot of fun of fun for the guys who made it off. Yes. Yeah, the guys who made it off had a blast. If you walked out of Shwinterbond, you had memories for a lifetime. Yeah. Some kids left in a body bag.

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I was I remember crying watching him win I knew everyone were like most people were how old are you like 14 Obama ran this would have been 2008 So I was yeah 13. Yeah, and I was watching I remember we lived in a trailer at the time And I was yeah 13 yeah, and I was watching I remember we lived in a trailer at the time And I was sitting in the trailer we had this small little TV I was watching it in on the trailer TV my mom was either at work or already in bed And I was just like oh man everyone around here hates this and I love it. Yeah And I know that was it that that time was fucking that was thinking Obama's in the mix. Yeah, that was huge What's the trailer layout like you got your own bed? I did yeah, the trailer was it was a two-room it was

Like right on the highway Highway right on pull right on baby One end was my mom's room okay with and she had like an ensuite like bathroom and stuff down there And there's a little kitchen on the bullets a sweet by the way It's awesome Do you see did to use French? French prefixes in the trailer is like that is the that is the most quintessential gay and from Missouri thing I've ever heard my life

Until you've known the luxury of a double wide with an en suite. Until you know that. He dropped the T even on the second time. She did have a jet tub in there. Ooh, good for her. Maybe they have some nice double wides. People should have them double wide. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Double wides not bad.

Then there's a kitchen, then there's a living room, then there's another bathroom, and then there's my room. Yeah. Oh, OK. Nice. I have my own little wing of the house. That is nice. It was sweet. Now, the house was on wheels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's scary. Yeah. But especially in tornado country. Totally.

But we had a good time over there. Ever get twisted up? No, no, I did. I did drive through a tornado once. Oh. I had to break into a church. Nice. For shelter. I did. tornado once I had to break into a church For shelter I did really had to break down the door of a church and like hide in a closet really lay in There's no one there. It was I was on the highway and the retreats falling down around my car run through the wind in the rain Get the closet. I managed to get a call out. I called my mom and I was like, hey

Get the closet. I managed to get a call out. I called my mom and I was like hey Yeah, I was wild damn dude, you know what my dad came and got me afterwards So what happened was yes, I was visiting my dad and my aunt in their town Which is like a 50 minute drive from where my mom loved at the time Yes, and this is my freshman sophomore year of college talking to a friend on the phone on the drive home perfectly beautiful day lovely, I'm like talking on the phone driving and Immediately sky goes black and a storm starts And I was like that's bad like it when it goes like that fast, and I was like fuck and so it started Tornado happened, and I called my mom and was like hey. I'm in the middle of a tornado. It sounds really bad

I don't know what's happening, then we lost signal. Oh my god, And then it ended, I thought, but you know, the eye of the storm is quiet. So I was like, I don't know if I'm in the eye or if it's over. So I stayed for a while and she had sent my dad to come get me. She had like sent him my location. So my dad came and got me and my dad's a lifelong atheist, intense, like intense atheist. Interesting. Hated when I got into church. I remember vividly telling my dad and my grandma at a Thanksgiving that I've started going to youth group and I think I want To get saved. Oh, my grandma weeped with excitement and when I asked my dad if he was excited He was like we'll talk about it when you're older

Kind of he had a hunch he was not into it. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean Slyly when I was in the, like turn up the volume on a Ricky Gervais special and be like, what do you think? Yeah. Which is not the way to win over an atheist by the way. But I know it's so funny though, because it's like, I feel like we had similar paths where it's like, you must have been, because I was definitely freshman year of college on that militant atheist Richard Dawkins, Ricky Gervaisy Bill Maher like shit that it is lame

The longer the older you get but when you're fucking 14 to 19 and you're like maybe oh you guys still believe in God Smoking like, you know pretending to enjoy cigarettes that you're smoking and being like Childish thoughts when you're 21 and a bit of a douchebag. Yeah, I was yeah. Yeah, yeah militant atheism hits like Yes, cuz it's looked down on everybody you exactly it's the same exact feeling that religious people get yeah You're just one of them. It's I remember my favorite I would share it like once a week my favorite picture to share was like a picture of a bunch of famous atheists like all Their headshots and then the like text over it was like if atheists go to hell I'm not worried I'm

in good company my friends would post a Bible verse the next hour I'd load that baby and throw it on my facebook feed and be like wonder what they think of this. Yeah From the tornado, yes drove me Well left my car out there and he drove me back to his house and on the drive We're driving it's a quiet for a little bit and then my dad just goes so When you thought you were gonna die Did what you did you like think that maybe God did did you pray to God or think God might be real? And he was asking in a way that was like,

he really wanted to know. Oh wow. If I discovered something. That's fascinating. No, it was, in the moment I was like, whoa. Cause I did pray, I did pray. Oh always, when shit's going bad. If you think you're about to die,

you gotta throw out a Hail Mary. God, I was fucking kidding. Remember that thing about forgiveness you show about? They say it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Christians are like, if you do it in the last minute, so anytime you think there's a close call. I'm just like you might as well I'd you know yeah, yeah, and I'll say it's like order a side of fries for the table Yeah, it's good to have them there throw out a prayer when the planes Right yeah if the if the if this overhead bins start opening on the plane you just like to throw a prayer yes

I was like I did pray, but I don't think I believe in God, because at this point I was an atheist as well. And I don't even know if I am now, but at the time I was feeling that way. And my dad was like, interesting. He was just collecting data. Oh, he was fascinated. Interest. He didn't even, he wasn't trying to steer you, he just legitimately wanted to know if in your dark, in the fox, like the old, in the foxhole there's no atheist thing, if that affected you. That's what he wanted to know. Yeah.

He was a curious guy, and I thought it was so interesting and fascinating that he like, was so intrigued. So your dad used to be a lifelong atheist, your uncle on his side of the family is like, kind of the, you know, hippie, zen guy guy like was your family kind of already not You know were they sort of rebellious for where you grew up like were they were your family like the weird? Family of the zone or other people like that did they like you know I'm saying definitely outliers outliers I think like my grandma on my grandma Lillian on my dad's side all her kids turned out to be like Pretty like my dad my and Ashley my, all her kids turned out to be like, my dad, my aunt Ashley, my uncle Travis,

they all turned out to be independent thinkers and pretty left and like, pretty left. And my mom's side is much more traditional, I would say. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But really no one in my immediate family, like the people I really love and care about, none of them are like intense anything. Sure. This is my theory about the country though, by the way. Hit me with it. My theory about the none of them are like intense anything. Sure.

This is my theory about the country though, by the way. My theory about the country of the United States of America is most people are like my family, which is maybe they vote Republican, maybe they vote Democrat, hard to tell. Every election is kind of different. I would say every election most people in my family are like, we'll see when it gets closer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way, none, we don't really talk about politics and most of them just don't

care. They don't care that much, yeah. Life is hard, the bills come every month, they need to pay the bills, they're worried about raising their kids, and they just don't sit around and talk about what's going on in Washington, D.C. And I think that's most of the country. If you do anything to make their life a little better,

they will vote for you for a generation. Yeah. And no one has. And they're not talking about it. They're not going up to their neighbor and being like, you have to vote for this guy right there are those people out there But I think by and large those people on both sides are outnumbered by the vast majority of Americans who are just like Man, I wish life was easy, and I have to still have to go to work tomorrow. Yeah, and they're just chilling Yeah, just chill maybe fucking being set fixed up a motorcycle. Maybe fixing up a motorcycle

Yeah, maybe yeah, but no they my my my dad's side of the family is all pretty like Left. Cool. That's interesting. And did your dad have, you had, your dad didn't have any other kids, did he? Your mom did or? My mom did, my dad did not. Did you grow up with your brother around? Were you guys like hanging around all the time? My brother was around, but my brother from a very early age was like, my brother when he turned like 12, he just became like a criminal. He turned 12 and like immediately started doing crime. He's like fucking stealing bikes and like smoking weed and shit. And we were very at odds.

Oh, okay. Cause I was a good, I definitely watched him make life hard for my mom and then I felt like I had to be a good kid so I resented him. Interesting. And I think I still kind of do in some ways. It's complicated. Of course, but Yeah, I resented him because he made life hard. She already had a hard life Yeah, she's two kids by herself and working multiple jobs. Yeah, bitch going through it. Yeah, you know On her Reba single mom who works two jobs Wow mom very Reba very Reba. Yeah, and yeah, I just resented him. I was like, why are you making this worse? Yeah, are you such a fuck-up? Yeah, I hated it

I was so totally and especially at that age where it's like it doesn't take much to have a rivalry with a sibling, right? But when they're actually being a piece of shit, yeah, that's you know, also I just I very low tolerance for fuck-ups Mmm, it's not what do you it's not this is not hard. Yeah, I bet you just wouldn. I just I have very low tolerance for fuck-ups. Mm-hmm. What do you it's not? This is not hard. Yeah, I bet you just wouldn't go to school for a week It's like go to school gotcha fucking get up and go to school. Yeah. Yeah, it's she's got her shit going on Totally so I had to like take care of him. You know I had to like wake us up for the boss There's a little brother. You're the older brother. You're supposed to be doing this shit. I really yeah, we it was really tough for us Hmm, I resented I resented his fuck-ups

Do you think cuz you're also what I really admire about you is that you just have a good time You don't feel the fucking pressure to like just do a like you won't overwork yourself Like you're won't like you were we were talking when on your pipes were talking about how I was in England working I was working on something and you were just taking a fucking jaunt across Europe Yeah, you were just there for fun for like two months or some shit Yeah, and I was like that's fucking awesome you're my only friend and I was just trying to see if any of my friends were in London like just to hang and you just Were there and do you think that's kind of like a?

Because you saw how hard your mom's life was and she had no choice But to constantly be working you think it's a little bit of like You know you're sort of over correcting the other way and being like I'm the fucking my life is gonna be the chillest life of all time because my mom had five jobs and One of her son's hot-wiring dirt bikes at age 14 It's a reaction to that I think it's also I think it's a reaction to how hard my mom had to work I think it's also I'm I'm sure I don't view privilege as a bad word I have very it's a privileged life that I get to like be a comedian

Yeah, and I did work very hard for it, but I'm trying to take full advantage I don't want to like I don't want to turn this into like coal mining part two where I like Fucking book up every second of my day freak out and stress out and like run here and there like there is some element Of that but like I want to take advantage of the privilege of like you can fuck off for a month in this Yeah, this life if you plan it right totally and then there's the other thing of like I think I did spend the whole first Like 22 years of my life Stressing every second yeah, and now I feel like I'm like no not no more sure we did it We set it up. We did. Yeah, I'm not poor in Missouri

Yeah, I'm not in the trailer and there's nothing wrong with being poor in Missouri, but I did not want to Stressful though poverty fucking shut when you when you think I remember figuring out my family was poor and being like what the fuck Yeah, being like pissed This whole fucking time Like my you know, I mean we were in Baltimore and like we knew there were other families that were doing better than us But I the moment I realized and shout out to my mom because it took me until like it was literally when I was in high School yeah filling out FAFSA and she was like and I and I would always do paperwork for my family because you know the language barrier whatever and

I was always you know Ever since I was 11 I was filling out forms with my family and stuff and I was doing fafsa Until I got too lazy and then my mom was like I'll just figure it out, but when it came to like Fafsa was the way I would leave the house, so I was back in I was like alright Let's do this right and I was like hey mom they um they want to know what our total net worth is and she was like Zero and I was like Fucking Greek idiot um they want to know what our total net worth is and she was like zero and I was like Fucking Greek idiot doesn't know what net worth means no the money we have She was like

She was like yeah, she was like including debt like what we have minus our debt and I was like yeah She's like well, then yeah, it's zero. It's actually negative I was like what the fuck I was like, I mean I knew if we weren't rich But I was like we've been fucking poor and then it like it's like a Kaiser so as a moment. We were like, oh Every you know, yeah You see like every place you never got clothes you wanted everything was yeah Facts of your mom picking up one type of bread putting it back My god this whole time you get our cereal next to the it's like bags of cereal next to bags of dog food

It's the same packaging unless you've got to be really careful not the fucking what were your what were some fun? You know as a fellow Little little chubster and poverty. What were your favorite poverty meals, dude? Let's get it It immediately comes to mind. Yeah, this is so white trash and I say that in a loving way Oh, I mean our special meal. Mm-hmm my favorite meal. Yeah, I like begged for was Chopped up hot dogs. Hell yeah like stir-fried and brown sugar was chopped up hot dogs. Hell yeah. Like stir-fried in brown sugar.

Oh my god. Caramelized in brown sugar. And then reduction, a caramel hot dogs in a caramel reduction sauce. Little pieces of cut up bacon. Double up. Put into baked beans. Oh no.

We called it beanie weenies I loved it Literally on my birthday would be like can we have beanie weenies? We can but only today. Yeah, I loved beanie weenies. That's fucking awesome It was awesome the doubling down on the sugar sure is oh, don't eat it Yeah Or when my mom my mom worked at a bar for several years and they had really good chicken wings And I would like call down on the sugar is awesome. Yeah, or when my mom worked at a bar for several years and they had really good chicken wings,

and I would call down to the bar at like 9 p.m. and be like, can I talk to Kelly? And they'd be like, yeah. And so it's this loud, raucous bar, and I'd be like, bring home chicken wings! And my mom would be like, okay, honey, should bring me home a box of chicken wings. Love that.

I felt like, I literally felt like royalty. Yeah. I was like, my mom works at the chicken wing place., yeah my box of chicken wings love that. I felt like I literally felt like royalty Yeah, I was like my mom works at the chicken wing place. Yes, she brings me chicken. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, that's my mom was a waitress at a Greek restaurant the calamari that came The leftover calamari and then when they didn't have because it wasn't it wasn't I always had those wasn't guaranteed When the calamari wasn't there a day I was banking on it When the calamari wasn't there a day I was banking on it Tough being fat a fat nine-year-old is being like staying up to like midnight be like Hey mom pretending. I was happy to see my mom. I just wanted fucking calamari Yeah, I would just have a tantrum and have to go up fucking stairs pissed off

What horrible Saturday's you're gonna go to bed with a tummy full of calamari? Yeah, what horrible Saturday? You're gonna go to bed with a tummy full of calamari tell me full of calm where you got nothing happen dude My mom worked for a while at a bowling alley. She was like a bartender at a bowling alley Mean that's that's some good shit To this day when someone I can't get this it's okay, man No, it's gonna. I'm getting it back on watch this I believe in you so to this day when I smell someone that smells like stale beer and cigarettes cuz she would come home from that job my Either at that point we were old enough to put ourselves to bed or we had a babysitter

My mom would come home from that job and I come give me like a hug and a kiss You know like while I was in bed, and she smelled so much like cigarettes and stale beer and also deep-fried cheese Yeah, just like deep-fried grease and like beer and and cigarettes And I when I smell that smell to this day. I literally feel I go yeah, dude. It feels so comfy Oh, man, that's what your husband's gonna smell like you're gonna need to He's gonna need to smell like that That's so yeah, you've got a Pavlovian response to that I hooked up with a guy last night who told me his ex-boyfriend is a huge fan of mine

well in a way that made me think is that what we're doing here oh well you know what I was like don't care dude if you don't think I've gotten a couple revenge a couple revenge blowies because because some guy some fucking dumb podcast fan mistreated a woman and she was like, hmm, I bet if I send this guy a picture of my tits he'd let me suck him off. And you know what? 90% of the time they are correct. They are right about that. And that's welcome because I feel like that is more of a straight comedians.

That's more of the spoils that I get I like that it's coming to you something's shifted because you know when I first started when comedy first started going well for me I would talk to the few older gay comedians that there are yeah that have had anything go for them and and they would they would say things to me like man it's not the same for us on the road yeah just don't expect it and I'm like something has shifted the cultures yeah I think more gay I think more gay people do are into like more mainstream stand-up not in the way that like I feel like you that like you Said it used to be like you got to you get you got to have three like queer famous

Yeah comedians and now it's like and that's everything was kind of a little more segmented Yeah, and now I just feel like way more. It's way more in the culture, and I think you get to be you know So it's just out there more, and I'm happy for you. Who's your favorite gay stand-up? Oh? Can't say me nice tries Tommy can't say me. I was definitely gonna say you That's a fucking great question hmm Who would be my favorite gay stand-up? You can't think of one. This is sick. It is pretty... You can't think of a single gay person who does stand-up comedy.

Okay, I'll just relax. I loved, I mean, I loved Margaret Cho's show when I was a kid and I loved her on the episode of Dr. Katz she was on. Yeah. I didn't, you know, I guess I I liked more gay comedians in general, but I can't really think of a standup that was one of my top standups. Obviously there's contemporaries, but I feel like this is more of a question of who did you look up to. That's what you read from it. It is actually.

I'm just interviewing. I'm just asking my questions. Well it's my show. Well it's my show, I don't have to answer your dumb little question. I don't know, who's your favorite, I got him, who's your favorite straight comedian? Can't say you? Can't say me. Okay. My favorite straight comedian, you know what? A lot of them. a lot of them I like yeah I'm gonna go with a sleeper pic mm-hmm I'm going Kathleen Madigan Wow Kathleen Madigan is a killer that's a good one I love her I loved I watched one of her like maybe Comedy Central half hours or something when I was a kid and I found

out she was from Missouri mm-hmm that was really cool I was like she's from Missouri that's fucking awesome yeah yeah and I I'm, she's from Missouri. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah. And I she's great. She's great. And she won't follow me back. She Kathleen, no worries. Honey, I love you. I've messaged her to be on my podcast. Wow, which I don't do nothing. She will not read it. She's Oh, wow. She will not respond not even seen. And I guess what I have for the utmost respect respect don't slum it with a young gay comedian you stay where you are the whole day yeah drop this Queen her crown her crown I love her I hope she never messages me back yeah she never

follows yeah I'm really proud of her you want that you want that relationship I think it's nice me I started in an airport once after I had messaged her and thinking she's probably seen this or someone on her team has seen this and not responded and I did not approach her and thinking she's probably seen this or someone on her team has seen this and not responded And I did not approach her in the airport. I said you enjoyed that beer Wow, not even a not even a big fan. No kept it moving No, because she I'm she might not want that and by the way She was on the same flight as me that day Wow and then we we walked right past each other and I didn't say a word

Shout out Kathleen a lot of restraint. I hey one thing you could have charmed her in person I think I could have charmed her in person. I think I could have. I really do think so. But I chose not, you know, that's the power that you have to choose when to turn it on and turn it off. Yeah. And I choose to wield it for good. Folks, you might not know this about me, but I recently, about a year ago, got a place in Baltimore, my hometown, in addition to my apartment here in New York City. I've been living back and forth between the two. And when I got my place in Baltimore and I needed a bed quick, that looked good,

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$100 towards your first bed purchase go to thum.co. That's thuma.co to receive $100 off your first bed purchase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not for personal gain. When do you think you're gonna settle down? All this talk about women in the DMs. Yeah, I'd like to.

I see you as a family man. I do wanna, I think I, it's so funny, like for the first time in my life I was like, yeah, it would be nice to just be in a good relate like I realized the value of it instead of being like Scared of fucking up a relationship. I was like I've been working so much It would be nice you like I am the I envision coming home to like a loving environment instead of like Yeah, just an apartment and like you know watching a movie and I was like whoa And it was the first pure time that I was like,

I'm not worried about a relationship. I'm like, this would be good. Straight guys are so funny. Yeah. It's so funny that you're 35. And for the first time in your life, you're like, the love of a woman could be special. Well, because I never thought.

Because, OK, this really, it is hilarious, and it is pathetic. I did not say pathetic. It is. Yeah, this really it is hilarious that it is pathetic But not say pathetic it is no it is but I do think it's because I recently had the realization that Marriages could be good. You know what I mean? Like when you grow up like I envy people who came from fucked up circumstances and still believe in love Yeah, like I love that you're a you seek love Yeah, and you know in in the fucking double why with your pops with your pops a mile away Just not In the same zip code

And and like to me my my family was such a met like my parents relationship was so fucked up Yeah, and everybody that I knew even though they were married they were miserable And that or and in fact the only like people that were happy were kind of like the divorced ones Yeah and so it really took a while like just in my head when I thought of relationships and marriage it just always was something bad and just like something people just Were obligated to do don't you feel then that you could only do better than that I it never that never occurred to me until recently yeah until I was like wait. I'm doing better in so many other ways

Why can't I master that too? And I also have my own things like in all my like relationships like I just have that knee-jerk reaction to like Get out and feel so I feel smothered and I feel like I'm gonna disappoint this person So let me get out of it ahead of time and so but recently I was like yeah What if let's just say I figured that out wouldn't it be nice if a woman loved me I like was she I come back and we get dinner and like you see a movie and instead of like this doing this by Myself it was with the person I plan to share the rest of my life with and so it's it's it's switched for me But at the same time right I am still an immature right and my you know, but so I'm hoping I'm hopeful

I've switched from probably not gonna happen to Let's see what happens wouldn't it be nice wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up absolutely yeah I I you know I think it was unfair though that I said straight guys are so funny because it is guys in general Yeah, gay guys do also struggle with the commitment thing I mean gay guys it feels I don't know if it feels more advanced it certainly feels a little different that gay guys will just Get into a beautiful long-term relationship, and then still fuck everyone else Yeah, well, that's progress or that's correct. I also love I don't want to butcher the point Because I was talking I was just on Stradio lab, and I was talking to George. I love those guys

They're the best I mean, but but yeah George talking about how like cheating just is not even a concept for gay guys Yeah, like it's just like like gay guys will just be in a marriage so long, and they'll just It's just like gay guys will just be in a marriage so long and they'll just basically just be kind of, after like 20 years they just, instead of just being like this isn't working, they're just kind of like roommates who then just go on and just date other people and it just becomes this weird, it's just such a fascinating way to go about things. But I respect it, but it also doesn't feel like the answer to what we're talking about here of what I was loving it also doesn't feel like what we sold the American people We were just like everybody else we just want what you know we're gonna be in our house And have our children and raise our I want I wanna put a sweater on with my husband.

Yeah, we weren't telling folks about circuit parties. We did a little pulling of the wool and God bless, but it's not the story we told. It's true, that is true. But yeah, it's interesting. I also feel the same thing for you too because I do feel like you're trying to settle down a little bit here, isn't it? Don't you feel like you're I am trying you're

trying but I'm not I'm you're up against the wall that you're trying also to settle down with a man I'm trying to settle down with a man who are both men then that's tough you know not good yeah no it's I I I don't know man I'm like I do want it I want a family I want kids I want to settle down with someone I do have long now thought that it would be lovely to come home to someone who loves me and I go to home together That's I think that'd be beautiful and lovely. Yeah, I love that I love the couples in my life that I think there's so many beautiful couples in my life who work so well together I think my friends Kevin and Katie like they have a beautiful love. I'm rooting to get I don't think they're gonna make it

Yeah, you don't think so. Yeah, just from what I've seen. Yeah They're gonna make it. Yeah, you know what I've seen. Yeah My friends Tom and Nancy I just think about yeah them either Relationships they do their own thing. They still have their own friends, but they're coming together It's lovely and I do want that but I do I just I have not found the person Yeah, and I but I'm starting to wonder found the person yeah and I but I'm starting to wonder probably it gets to a certain point and I I lose interest I think they can't be the one I'm like maybe I do just need to find like a roommate version no don't do that maybe I need to go around terms I am a romantic in your little heart you know romantic

but you know what I need to cool it on the romance because here's what I here's something I've noticed recently okay I am a romantic. But you know what? I need to cool it on the romance. Because here's something I've noticed recently. OK. I am a romantic. I like to call people. When I'm dating someone, I call them on the phone, talk, chit chat. I'll send flowers sometimes.

That's cute. I like to do stuff like this. What's wrong with that? Well, I do it. And then it gives the impression that I'm trying to get into something serious. And I am trying that. But I think I sometimes do it too quick.

And then people enjoy it. It's I like enjoy it it's pure but that's yeah you're saying well I do these things I'm sending these clear messages and people are reacting to them yeah okay I'm sending the like let's lock it down by or start picking it up and enjoying it and then I'm being like Whoa, I knew this to be fair. I'm shitting on you, but I do the straight male version of that Which is just being nice to a woman Yeah, you know like it doesn't really take much romance for women to think you're a good person right now everybody else right treats them So it's like if I'm dating somebody I'm just like kind of communicative and like ask questions and remember things they said they're like

Well, he's in love with me. Yeah But but I do want to actually fucking yeah, maybe you need to just wait a little bit, but you're there I think I think you can do it I let you know romance is beautiful and you know where you can see a lot of romances in the romantic comedy sweethearts folks I don't know in the romantic comedy Sweethearts, folks. Good God. Out on Max in just a couple days. And so please check that out.

And in the meantime, I think we need to take some of your folksy down home wisdom and bring it to our callers here, Cale. That was like watching Babe Ruth point and then hit a home run. That was so beautiful. Thanks, man. I'm in awe of you as a podcaster. Thanks, man. I'm a bromo.

What can I say? I'm a pro. Let's do it We just talked so long because it's so fun to just chat with you, but we got we got to help some people here Come on This feels great. By the way the turkey I feel kind of cozy and awesome I'm like an adorable Like I find myself just enjoying the conversation and forgetting we have to be entertaining for people like that's awesome, dude And I really hope you find love my good friend. Oh, right I'm like dozing off in this warm little fucking dude

I see onesie you're a romantic and love is coming for you and you're gonna have everything you want in this life And I think you just keep after Yeah, let's see what disgusting questions you have for us, Eldis. Hey, Savvy. So basically I'm 31, I have a five-year-old daughter. I am a widow. I tried to date about a year and a half ago

and I was like dating around. The guy that I was fucking, one of my close friends, started fucking behind my back and I found out about it. We didn't talk for a while. We reconciled and then she got into this long-term engagement or long-term relationship. I ended up helping him with the proposal. The ideas for the ring.

I got close with his family You know and all this kind of stuff and then His parents about renewal she asked me if I would be director of their wedding What the fuck This is fucking insane keep Keep going on this. I mean, what? I mean, Jesus. They're wedding and I've been having such a hard time because she's getting the wife that I thought I was going to have. And I'm trying to be forgiving and I'm trying to be useful to these things. These things but how do you move past? somebody

Being a ho and fucking the guy that she's blatantly knows that you're fucking you don't maybe Right, you know I was it took me a long time to get into the fucking scene into the game thinking I lost 60 pounds. I went to therapy. I did all this All this work feels like for not. So if you can help me kind of figure that out, that would be so great. Thank you, love you, you're the fucking best. Can I just say before we get into it,

the opening of, so basically I'm 31, I have a five year old, I am a widow. Yeah. I'm a hook. Beautifully five year old, I am a widow. Yeah. I'm a hook. Beautifully. That is a beautiful intro. Right, and take note other callers. Yeah.

This woman got to the meetup, she could have rambled, other people ramble about how like, it takes them too long to find the video to jack off to, they'll do three minutes. She's giving us her whole backstory in three beautiful Hemingway like sentences. She's not gonna get wrapped up in how the ex died no and combine accident it doesn't matter when we and our imagination is working I am a widow it's Darth Vader before the prequels a little mystery so basically

I'm 31 yep and I am a widow this is beautiful that's beautiful beautifully written and we're sorry by the way that you're in that Wish he was alive But you you are a very compelling caller yeah, you're hell of a storyteller so You you're it's great. You're working on yourself keep at it I would say one of the clearest indications of you've worked on a lot of stuff in therapy I don't know that you worked on setting boundaries because this is fucking crazy Yeah, this you don't get over like how do you get over somebody being a hoe? Okay getting over it is one thing Helping her get fucking engaged with the guy. Yeah, I mean you're just too selfless of a person. You're just too

Maybe your self-esteem is a little low, maybe you're down because of, you know, shit's been rough for you, but you got insanely mistreated by both of these people. How on earth do you end up close to his fucking fam? The Val Renewal is crazy. At his parents' Val Renewal? The guy who cheated on you with your friend? Why? Also, if anyone out there listening,

I know there's probably tens if not 20s of people who listen to the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if anyone out there is wondering, should I be the director of someone's wedding and you're calling them in the next sentence a fucking hoe, hey guess what, you're not meant to be part of the wedding. Yeah.

You should bow out. You should bow out. You probably shouldn't go if you're so right. You and that girl need to kill the guy. You're so right. Yeah, I mean my god. I mean this is fucking crazy. How do you how do you end up at the vow renewal? How do you even end up? Why? Yeah, the the glossing over. Yeah, which we lauded in the top in the first three sentences. Beautiful specificity. That was but we need a little more details here. Yeah. This is not something we can gloss over.

How the fuck? She wrote the back end of the story the way that newspapers write about police involved shootings. Yeah. She was like, so one way or another, a guy ends up dead. Yes, exactly. It's like. I ended up, yeah, I mean, what the fuck?

Why aren't you mad? Why aren't you mad at this person? Why did you let it slide? Why are you mad at both of them and then why on earth would you help them is enough like? You would be well within your rights never to speak to this woman again Let alone plan her fucking engagement and I think you really need to look inward about why you're doing this stuff and just like You can't let people in your life. They're gonna fucking treat you like this and you clearly have some kind of Psychological you're drawn to this to being treated this way. Unfortunately, it feels like because otherwise why why would the fuck would you do this? also to the woman who Slept with the guy is now getting married to him and asked you to be the director

Asked her to be the director of the wedding or whatever which whatever. I don't know if that's a title. Mm-hmm What you need to make some other friends? I mean she's you think first of all she's a super villain She's a super she's a piece of shit. Yeah, I mean I I have a my my knee-jerk reaction is this the other woman is a horrible person who's getting weirdly getting off on this somehow Or even just like if she's not then she has the lowest emotional intelligence of anyone that's ever existed Yeah, it is so self-centered and has no empathy for anybody. I mean this is fucking crazy I yeah, this is fucking not honey. You gotta get out you gotta get out Don't plan shit for these cocksuckers have your own life. You're you're you're making progress

You got back in the scene and look We say it on the show all the time. The road to wins is littered with losses You came out with a huge loss up This is not an easy one to get over. Yeah, but you gotta just take eat this L and Move forward. This is not the fucking guy. And by the way, this is not the kind of person This is your friend close friend. This was never your friend. No, this is a piece of shit imagine somebody a good friend of yours gets over a Fucking death to their significant other. Yeah is a single is a single parent

It takes them they go they work on themselves. They work out. They go to therapy. They finally get in the headspace to start dating. And start dating a guy, and then you fuck them? Yeah. Imagine what a piece of shit you'd have to be to do that to somebody.

Another piece of advice to the caller, I'm just looking at the call came in at 1.53 AM, get some sleep. Yeah. Call came in at 1.53 AM on a Monday. You'rem. On a Monday. You're right. You're right about that I want to see you get some rest You're not gonna be able to fight these demons that are clearly sent from hell to disrupt your life Absolutely one no sleep. Beasel bub has his fucking tail around your ankle right now, and you need to shake it off, okay?

I'm learning now that they might be calling from I don't know what that means for us on time codes Still pretty late. Yeah, still pretty late. I would still pretty late It's West Coast time also a very unexpected place for that to be happening from bleep to Just a Doc's this woman. I guess it is a small community Like 3,000 people one widow in that area like three thousand people one widow in that area gonna get lit up with DMs but I will also say that's also you're even more of a catch I would say yeah in the place you're calling from or I'm sorry yeah the place you're calling from

thank you actually now I appreciate you doing some hosting and I'm actually circling back and saying it's actually it's actually a black mark on the entertainment industry that I couldn't think of a gay comedian and not on me. Right. Just to kind of full circle that's really disgusting how we treated queer voices that me, a guy that should know, couldn't come up with one and still you'll notice hasn't. Yeah. Let's move forward. You pulled a lesbian from like the 90s. I liked her. You're like, I think you're a good joke, Jay.

I watched that show. She is gay. Sounds like Ellen DeGeneres. Yeah, I should've. I should've been like a, yeah. Oh, shit. Whoa. Oh, no.

Caleb, you know what that is? You know what time it is? It's time to... Yup. That's right, wow! Time to keep it twisted. Time for the keep it twisted, twisted ass, mother effing question of the week

Thanksgiving edition! Yup, we still haven't named it. Um, just sit there quietly, Caleb. I'm gonna, you know, chime in only if you really feel necessary. Elders, what do we have for the twisted-ass, mother-effing, Thanksgiving question of the week? We have something pretty effing twisted and, you know, maybe if we keep it twisted enough, some lucky guy out there is in for a nice holiday treat this week.

Wow! Alright, let's see what we got. Hi, Savvy. enough some lucky guy out there is in for a nice holiday treat this year. Wow. All right. Let's see what we got. Hi, Savvy. I love the podcast. I am calling in for some advice from a man's perspective. That's what I'm here for. I am in a long-term relationship, kind of.

We're both kind of having fun with it. And I am looking for a man's perspective. Sounds like you're keeping it pretty twisted. Keep it twisted. Sounds like that long-term relationship kind of sounds pretty twisted. But hey, that's not the question. But I do like it. Man, might I suggest a nice way to spice things up is to maybe get together and have a couple refreshing delicious twisted teas. You know, I don't know if you know this, but they're brewed. Did you know there's their brewed with real iced tea, Eldis? Well, I knew that, but I was shocked the first time I learned it. 5% alcohol by volume. What a refreshing delicious beverage. Anyway, continue, Elders. I'm having fun with it, and I am looking for a man's perspective on pictures. I love sending

them. He loves getting them, but I'm worried that it's been sending the same old poses. So I'm wondering, from a man's perspective, do you guys like the boudoir photos, or is that more for a woman's eye? What do you guys like? boudoir photos or is that more for a woman's eye? What do you guys like? What's what's gonna keep them dressing and kind of having fun with it? Yeah, let me know. Thanks. Interesting. Well, first of all, couldn't be more for women. I mean, let's just let's keep it up, but we're not even keeping it twisted. We're keeping it a buck right now. is let's keep it a buck. We're not even keeping it twisted,

we're keeping it a buck right now. You don't gotta pay some lady, buy fancy lingerie. Now, I'm not saying that's bad, I'd like to receive one, but it's not, you know, you're talking about day in, day out, keeping it twisted in a sexual manner, you know, for sexting, for keeping the thing spicy. And I think you're never gonna be able to keep up with that demand with boudoir photos.

You're gonna hire a lady every time this guy wants to beat off. I think, speaking for myself personally, I think the idea to kind of mix things up is a good one. A little lingerie, a little lingerie little change in, you know, changing different poses changing even like out of a shirt, whatever for me personally, and maybe this is different for you all this.

I like to feel like it's spontaneous like to me. It's not about thinking of like switching it up in terms of like different outfits and stuff like that. Although I like a wig, you know, if you want to get a wig in the mix, a costume, something like that. But all that can be done at home. You don't have to shell out of cash. Again, if you want to for yourself, I wouldn't turn those down. I still look at them. But I think the fact that you love sending them, the consistency, that's keeping it twisted in my mind

You got a bit twisted keep it twisted exactly and I like feeling like it's almost It's almost If we were together we would be smashing right now, but since we're not just show me those titties You know what I'm saying like let me look at those titties the way I Would look at them. Just pull them out of your shirt. You know what I mean send them send them soft sometimes You don't got to get the nips hard. You don't got to twist the nip and get it hard sometimes Send me a soft nip switch up the poses. Maybe whatever, but you know I think the willingness and the Enthus enthusiasm is much

more important maybe throw in you know a live photo where your titties are bouncing maybe a short video wouldn't hurt not long a couple seconds I'm talking about you know I mean you like do a longer video that's better but but war that's not really keeping it twisted enough you know I'm gonna go the other direction on this one Okay, I want to go ahead and encourage our caller to follow her instincts here. I think like I Don't know if you're if you're in like a longer relationship I do like the idea of the novelty in it. It's almost like oh wow like wow I didn't know You know she had this production value in her. It's a fun little novelty

It's like yeah, it could be sexy in its own right even if it's not just straight-up like you know titties out There's something there's something to it. That's like okay. I like I like what we're going here It heard going through all those stops will probably like you know help her maybe get more into it or something and I think that's a fun little thing for the guy that he'll appreciate and that'll like you know get him get him turned on and get him to keep it twisted I also think of like you know it's crazy when you twist his prick up you think of like family photos are doing like that classic seer style family photos and like in front of those backgrounds. JC Penny yeah. JC Penny

whatever like those are very annoying at the moment you're like why would I do something like so stodgy and old fashioned but you know one day you and your man are gonna be Mind-paw real little keeping it twisted together with the twisted on the rocking chair drinking some twisted tea out of like a Big anniversary splitting the game day pack. Maybe it's your anniversary your whole family's there Everybody's enjoying their favorite flavor be it raspberry half-and-half what have you? Yeah, but once the family leaves you know each for that matter once the family's gone it just you two and you're getting romantic you could pull those photos up and be like hey that was pretty cool yeah I look pretty awesome in this I will give you that these have staying power I'm not against them yeah I just

think we're talking about two separate things yeah these this is not a this is not in the same vein as sexting It's a good thing to have and it would knock my socks off and I would probably beat off to them if the love of my Life took some sexy pics, but I'm just saying do both Keep it going keep it twisted keep pulling your titties out on on selfie mode, but also get the boudoir photo We're all about the more titties we can get in a man's life the better high production value low production value that's the key that's that's what I call keeping it twisted and so go for it sister throw those titties out let your man see them all gussied up and

remember folks if you want a delicious beverage and you're out and about and you're gonna pull your titties out there's only there's only one thing to do keep it twisted amen oh shit Caleb why don't you say anything that whole time man you're being rude Taylor Twisted. What else we got in here? What's going on? Hey, Srav and Eldis, an esteemed guest, long-time listener. I love everything you guys do. Thank you so much.

Of course. So I have a unique situation. My ex and I were together for 23 years. So we had a very established relationship, big family, did everything together. And a year ago, we separated and we're co-parenting now. Our lives are still intertwined, but the holidays are when it really felt the most.

A lot of people don't understand why we still do stuff like that together. We have kids. I don't know, is it stupid to think that we can still have holidays and family time and stuff and memories and people just don't understand that we're still doing things together and having memories and we get a lot of pressure from the family. You know, what's going on once the questions I guess what I'm saying

It's how do we tell people just to kind of back off and leave us alone about this or are we crazy to think that? This is unhealthy. I'm probably running out of time Anything that you can do to help in this scenario. Are we silly to think that family life can still happen? and Are we silly to think that family life can still happen? Or should we just stop this and not be doing things together or not care about people and what they say? I don't really know what I'm asking at this point. Thanks so much for your help. Hope to hear from you.

Yeah. I just wanna say, the first call we took was like, hello. Right to the point. Two people I trusted. A lot of them. I need an answer by tomorrow. I'm in the wine cellar at his parents' house. They're asking me to direct the wedding.

There's a gun to my head. This person was like, I don't super think I'm understood sometimes. Any thoughts on me being understood or if I should change? There is a much two women yeah dealing with being newly being single later in life much differently we'll say with much less sense of urgency on this part. This woman is sound a little more more of a little white wine at the end of the night type of vibe going on here You know look people when people you know divorce is very it's weird

How you handle that especially when you're you know you've been together for that long? Yeah, your lives aren't you're right? They're intertwined. Yeah, it's very rare. It's one life. It's one life Yeah, he built it totally totally and maybe in the future It'll start to branch off a little bit and who knows maybe you end up with somebody they end up with somebody you stop doing this or maybe everybody comes together, but Would I worry what other people think probably not but would I also worry a little bit about are you kind of? Like folding into the inertia? Do you really want to still have one holiday?

You know what I mean? Like I've seen people get divorced and even after long periods of time and it's like yeah they have, it's fine. Everyone kind of gets it. But then I've seen people that can't even be in the same fucking room together. I guess I would think like are you happy with this?

Are you really truly happy with the search your feelings Do you actually want to spend Thanksgiving with your you know ex-husband? Yeah, are you mad at him? Is he getting away with it did he break up your family by fucking his secretary and your stiff upper lip again being like? Haha, it's all good bring her over the kids for the kids Don't do that or Did it end you know is, I think there's a possibility sometimes, I don't know your whole situation, but sometimes there's a possibility

that you're doing this because you want to hold on to the comfort of the relationship and you're like, oh, it's for the kids, but it's nice to all be together. You need to make sure that it's not holding you back from going out. You do, you have built one life together in my opinion, and now you're trying to extract two lives out of it. That's going to be a lot of work. It'll be really hard. So you need to make sure that you're not just holding on to the life you had together because it's comfortable and pleasing You need to make sure that you're going out and building your own thing But I think if you can do that nice really nice to do it for the kids It's a but I have everyone together. Let's also ask well

How old are these fucking kids because it's 23 years. Yeah, are these 23 year olds cuz all right Let's stop ducking behind the kids. Yeah, you know if they're seven maybe it's a little different but if they're fucking adults then maybe I just really think about what you want cuz also as This woman didn't really have a point of view in general No, has she thought about have you even thought about this really or she kind of going with the flow? Yeah, I would love a little more info here. Yeah, cuz I can see it doesn't understand it. Who's pressuring you to know? Yeah Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I need could see it doesn't understand it. Who's pressuring you to know? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I need to know what are they to you?

I think is there also like some underlying like she has to be really honest with herself about is there some hope on either Her or the husband's part that they will fuck again, right? You go, right they just like start fucking as divorcees and then try like this weird something I'm going It always does feel Fucking an ex really is one of one of the the sweetest like forbidden fruits You know fucking someone who swore they they were never gonna want to fuck you again Feels good. I'm being like we can't do this. It's it's bad for us Yeah, and then being like damn but I need that I need those powerful strokes Stavros or whoever Dude honestly put with

I have a morning radio show. Dude, honestly, when podcasts become what get Vegas residencies, we're going to fucking merge so true in Stavi's world and we're going to fucking do, we're going to be at the Tropicana. We're going to commission the most powerful seats in the country and bring this herd of cattle into Vegas. We will be sitting on reinforced steel I promise you that. That's a good point Eldis and so yeah that's what we're gonna say here we'd love a little more information you yourself understand that you didn't even truly ask us anything and we just kind of kind of gave our best guess but yeah good luck out there. What I gather from the call is that you

kinda gave our best guess but yet good luck out there what i gather from the call is that you but you have no point of view you hardly have a life that's here it's hard to understand where you're coming from cuz i don't know you're coming from anywhere yeah yeah best of luck but also it's interesting because like you know uh... like your feeling you say you're you're you you're how did you spend with your grandma like it's people have weird family situations like you know my my family we are

Our holidays have been strange where it's like you know Some of you know my brothers have gotten married some of them spend it with their with their wives shit We used to do together as a family they now they're splitting off like shit changes in general. It's not just divorce It's like people are just always have you know holiday stuff. I spent it with friends that are really close to me. So it's like don't be afraid of change necessarily and don't be afraid to have a non-traditional like holiday setup either. It can be beautiful. My Thanksgiving this year will be literally like neighbors of mine, friends of mine, my mom, my mom's side of the family, my dad's side of the family. Yeah like

because now I host so now I'm the connecting Yeah, yeah, it'll be yeah, it'll be like it Family is weird. Just do what feels good. Yeah, and genuinely do what feels good. Yeah, that's also holiday advice If you don't like doing something don't do it just don't fucking do it fucking bail out on that sucks I hate that get out of that aspect of it We have to go to Tuscaloosa because it makes grandma happy. Fuck grandma. Fuck her that old bitch. She's gonna be in the dirt soon. Uh.

Uh. Uh. Play us another little LD. You need a drink or anything buddy? No, I'm chilling. Hi, it's Daddy Baby. LDIS and the scene to guess. I have a question about my girlfriend,

her friend and her boyfriend. So, my girlfriend often goes out with her best friend and her boyfriend for lunch or dinner or drinks when I'm not available, about working or doing whatever. And her best friend's boyfriend will pay for all my girlfriend's drinks and food and stuff. And it's really fucking annoying, and I hate that he does it because now I go out with my girlfriend and his girlfriend. He's not there I feel obligated to do the same thing and I

Want to pay for another bitches food or drinks or whatever? So like a fun dude my girlfriend has their own goddamn money when she's not with me and I have one girlfriend I don't want to be paying for two girlfriends and this guy feels well for himself. He makes good money I do too, but I Paid for my girlfriend you pay for your girlfriend. My girlfriend's got her own fucking money. Your girlfriend's got her own fucking money I don't want to be obligated to pay for your fucking girlfriends when you're not around It's frustrating and when I don't do it, my girlfriend kinda gives me a look.

And I don't like it, so what do I do? Do I just say, fuck it, I'll just do it because it's nice, it's the right to return the favor, or just say, just because you did it doesn't mean I have to. How do I handle this? Thank you. Wow, that was some of the most little dickery I've ever heard in my life. Hey, Stavi, what's up, dude?

So basically, my girlfriend's friend has a nicer boyfriend than me, and he's treating my girl like fucking gold. And if she expects me to be nice to women, I'm not fucking. So I guess, Stby, what fucking gives? What's this bitch's fucking angle? And is her boyfriend a faggot? Or do I got some fucking points? What are you talking about, loser?

I mean, and you know it's great, you're absolutely right, the treating a woman I'm not fucking nicely thing really is what it boils down to also you fucking idiot These guys are so stupid. Do you know what would get your girlfriend? Hotter than anything is to treat her friend fucking a little kindness Yeah, you treat her friend nice guess what's happening when you go home that night Yeah, a lot of fun a lot of fucking it much better stuff than then Insisting her friend Venmomos you for buffalo egg rolls. You fucking, you know this, you sending her friend a 12.95 Venmo request,

it's not getting you sucked off, pal. Yeah, I can, look, I can tell by the tone and the arrangement of the voicemail, y'all aren't going to caviar spots. Yeah, okay. I know we're talking about a Texas Roadhouse bill. You can't spring for a Pizookie at BJ's, my friend. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess what's hotter, you pick up the friend's $12.99 burger and fries, or Hugh refuses to white-knuckle the steering wheel the whole way home. You think I'm made of Red Robin burgers with unlimited fries, you fucking bitch? I mean... I don't want to pay for another bitch's meal. And you know what's crazy is that like, okay, I fully don't agree with this. Philosophically this is crazy.

But what really gets me is the tone. Because like let's just say you're a guy who's just not doing that well financially and you're like, I love my girlfriend, her friends are great. This other guy, he's just better off financially than me. I'd love to be able to do this, but he's putting me in a weird situation Yeah, I could see how that would be a little bit of an issue Ultimately you still have to fucking suck it up

I mean he's just put you just have it would just be weird not to return the favor right but his anger and his fucking like clear annoyance is just I hate you dude let alone what you're fucking with the girlfriend thinks and and we might not even we might even be able to get along if I met you in different circumstances but your take on this sucks you're so right if his angle had been like I'm stressed out I don't make as much money as this guy I really want to treat my girlfriend's friend nice because he treats my girlfriend nice and we're all buddies would it be cheap to like suggest that we go to cheaper places when we all hang out because I don't like to say money he does that would be a

different angle this this is was frankly concert like I feel like this guy is on the steps of the capital about like self-immolate over this. Like he's so scary and intense. I know. The intensity is crazy. I hate that he's getting laid. I know. And it's like, dude, I mean, he says he does well. Yeah.

You said you'd do well for yourself, dude. So fucking suck it up. My girlfriend has her own money. It's like, dude, also how often is this happening? Right. What are we talking about? A lunch a month? Hey, Stavi.

So, basically, my friend goes out with her friend's boyfriend three, four times a week. Yeah, I mean, that's another issue. It's like, yeah, I mean, if this is happening all the time, then maybe you got a different issue. But it's like, I can't fathom. If he's talking about this being a scheduling issue, right? It's like, they usually go on double dates, it sounds like, right? And it's like, when he's not available, they'll go on double dates. It sounds like right and it's like when he's not available

They'll go out with him right so that's so most of the time. It's double dates sometimes. It's the other guy sometimes It's just him One out of like how often is it just him yeah be that many times well it sounds like it might be I mean This is crazy, so dude You're so far your attitude is so so fucked up here. It's insane It's like you got a fucking spring 40 extra bucks What are we fucking talking about here? And yes learn to just be nice to people in your life These are people this is your friend your girlfriend's close friend like it's probably her best friend

Yeah, would it kill you to show kindness to other people in your life? It would be different if you weren't doing well, but he's made a point to say I do well for myself. Yeah you philosophically just don't want to Spring like if this hurt your pockets for real, it's a different story But if it doesn't you're being a fucking bitch. You gotta just fucking be a nice guy and when in doubt It went in doubt paying a little more, tipping a little more, caring a little more.

If it doesn't, if you're not gonna be affected by it, when in doubt, always do a little more and your life will be better for it, I promise you. Also, message for this guy that I wanna give to a lot of people, relax. Totally relax. You have got to calm down yeah there is no reason you should be this this is so silly and I'm also like what else do

you get this worked up about your girlfriend should I'm sorry I'm just gonna say it it seems like your girlfriend should break up with you I agree I think you need some time to figure out you yeah it was crazy yeah what are he definitely has hang-ups about money and about this is also a very which I appreciate about you You don't have this but it's like this is kind of like white American behavior Yeah, it's like a man like like I had a I had a friend who's like from there like in college I lived with another Greek kid and then we also live with our buddy who was just from like Maryland just straight up You know honky ass motherfucker and this guy

Everything was a cat you almost felt like he was trying to get one over on you. Yeah. He had this scheme for a while where he was like, hey, guys, you want to split groceries? And we're like, that sounds good. Turns out his parents were just paying for his groceries and he was still taking money from us. Crazy. He was like, well, you guys, you guys bought a third of them. What is it? What does that matter to you?

And it's like, that's not the point, you're taking money from us. Your, like why should you profit? It's just like, but that's how some people think, and that's like a shitty mentality. That's not how you treat the people in your life, that's not how you treat your friends. Well, they view everything through a lens of fairness.

They go, well isn't it fair? And I would say to that, is it kind? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who gives a fuck if it's fair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're stealing from your poor friends. Yeah, yes, yes? Yeah, yeah fuck if it's yeah, yeah, yeah stealing from your poor Exactly yeah, I was also so broke at the time so that's that's a great thing is like Kindness being kind and being a little nicer than you have to be is never bad Always improves everything and if you can't this is what I'm always saying to people if you can't get on board with doing the

Right thing because it doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do, imagine the benefits that it will bring to you. That's not how I do it. I'm nice because I think it's nice to be nice. But I'm saying, can you imagine, look at the two realities. From a cold rational perspective.

Just rational self-serving, if that's the place you come out the world from. Which it is, clearly. It sounds like you do, right? So you go, what's the reality? I'm weird and upset about this, and then my girlfriend sees me being weird and upset Even if she's a total idiot and is like cool with that

That's not a fun vibe for the relationship or the night or there's the version where you're really nice to her friend and she either Neutral doesn't care and doesn't see you weird and upset or she loves it and thinks you're a great guy Yeah, what is the loss here? Yeah you weirdo, but it's also funny because he's so cooked. It's done Yeah, because he's already done this a couple times. And they're already talking about what a piece of shitty is compared to the nicer boyfriend. She's at lunch with just the girlfriend sometimes going, I just wish Ryan would be more like David. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I promise you. Totally. You gotta, yeah, you have to fucking make up something for the reason you did it, or be overly nice or something. But either way, you got to change the whole way you look at the world, man. That sucks. This call sucks, dude. You fucking suck. Acting like a broke bitch when you have money. Disgusting behavior.

Disgusting behavior. Hate to see it. I spit on that fucking piece of shit. I hope you have a fucking Thanksgiving turnaround, buddy Like one of your biggest fans probably yeah, yeah, yeah has bought merch Has your free cool calendar hanging up in his office The calendar is for sale great great plug. Let's fucking put a little put a little fucking picture of it right here Place another one LD Play us another one LD. Hello, Stavi, Eldis, and Guess. I got a question for you that I think only you can handle.

You got the best body positivity and owning your body out there. Thank you, thank you. So I was always overweight as a kid my whole freaking life. I got up to like 230 rook and I finally started to work out just just so not even to look good but just because I was so fucking immobile and couldn't even time my fucking shoes I get now I'm about I dropped out all the way like 165 lost some more weight than I ever would have thought never without getting this low but another big problem that I thought was gonna go away I was hiding it and never facing it and just assuming I got

bitch tits man medically medically induced bitch tits gynochromasty I got gyno I'm 24 right now honestly we're just hoping it would go away one day a age I like I'll do googles and shit and and they said it could go away as you grow older But gotta be 24. I'll be 25 and I still got him and honestly, I was never really insecure about them or anything I was always good about My big naturals were never an issue for me yeah, I got perfect hand cup b-size titties Keep playing eldest but now it's weird dude cuz like when I was fat like bitch It just makes sense to have like some fucking man. It was like I'm fucking fat. Yeah, I'm gonna have some fucking man boo But now I'm like I lost a lot of weight. I'm a little I'm not I'm not a six pack or anything

But like, you know, I'm I work out I lift and like I bet people like and I you know I'm always sleeveless. I got a little bit of muscle, but then I take off my shirt and shit Fucking and they're inverted. I got inverted And they're inverted. I got inverted nipples too, bro. So it's just like... I don't know, I want to have surgery. Would that be better? I think I'm gonna have to have surgery to get rid of them. And it's just weird because like as a kid...

And I remember as a kid, I was like a teenager. I always owned it and I never really had a problem with it. People would give me shit. But I always told them I didn't care. And I honestly didn't. But it's just weird because now I feel like it looks... It does make sense. ...worked.

Because I'm fit now and I still have these tits. And the surgery just looks like a bitch, looks like a lot of recovery. Yeah. Anyway, should I still just own it and just be like, yeah, fuck it, it's just my body and I'm fine with it? Or should I get the surgery and have a much better physique? You know what? Interesting.

Whatever you think, just let me know. Thank you, Savvy, appreciate it. Interesting. I have so much to say about this. Please, go, the floor is yours. What you're experiencing right now is body dysmorphia. Something you used to like about your body has changed and you don't like, or something that didn't bother you

about your body has now come into Focus and you're not enjoying it. Yeah, okay You're having body dysmorphia totally normal when you lose a bunch of weight or something big changes about your body Happens to people who have accidents and lose limbs or like it like this is normal Okay, but something interesting to me is that you know the kind of like this surgery a lot of guys have this Yeah, the number one under 18 gender surgery that occurs is for cis boys who have breasts that they want reduced. Did you know that? I did not know that.

Right wing people go on and on and on about sex changes for kids, which is not happening. It is straight up not happening. They go on and on and on about this. I think it happens like maybe a dozen or two dozen times a year right and I'm gonna butcher the numbers on this but an overwhelming majority like over 90% if not like 98 over 90% of those are guys like this who have boobs in a little titty shop just getting that just getting their breasts reduced because they have they have

breasts and it makes them feel it gives them Gender dysphoria. Yeah, they they are a man. They are a boy They feel like a boy, but a part of their body is not what make it way making them feel that way Yes, yes Yes So it's wild to me that a lot of people on the right would be would say fuck this guy He can't have that surgery I think by the way, brother if you're not if you're not liking it if it's making you feel dysphoric about your gender

You feel like a man you like the weight you've lost you like the gains You're making in the gym That's exciting you and you want your chest to be developed in a different way as you continue that get that fucking surgery I agree with that. I think I think especially because Yeah, he's he's just saying like it just makes me feel bad about my body And he's into his credit he said he's you know lost some weight he's trying to get more fit and the weird thing is losing the weight has made him more insecure about his body yeah

because it highlights you know his luscious breasts so I agree with you that I think I think yeah if you want to do there's nothing wrong as as long as Like it is truly, you know actual gynecomastia whatever and it's not just like What you're saying of like maybe you need to adjust to your body if it's not just kind of gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia where it's like Your mind is kind of playing tricks on you. I think like yeah, you're making it up Yeah, yeah, yeah, different. Yeah, like make sure and I trust this guy cuz we all know those guys who did have nice tits Yeah, like growing up. It was weird Like there was a couple kids who had just straight up they would be in the gym and they weren't like little fat boy titties

They were like, yeah nice There's a kid I won't say his name. It's probably a fucking package there's a couple kids that went to high school with that like, yeah, would like do like, would trick guy, would send pictures of their tits and be like, dude, those were my tits, you're fucking gay, dude. That was a classic prank. Pull out your dicks, you have a tar. But I knew two different guys that had like round tits that if you just looked at them what you absolutely would think they were like nice

Like nice tits so body is complicated human body is interesting very interesting. So yeah, dude. I'm with you I'm with Caleb here where it's like look if you're really feeling like you want to you know If you really feel like this is something that's really holding you back get the surgery who gives a fuck I've seen I see Jim bros get that shit a lot because Kind of exactly in this guy's situation. Yeah, where they lose a bunch of weight, and they get jacked, and then they're like wait I still have tits what's going on here? Yeah, and sometimes you just have breast tissue It's gonna be something by the way if you make a big change to your body if you gain a bunch of weight lose a bunch Of weight any any big change you make to your body,

it's going to be something. There's gonna be loose skin, there's gonna be a new proportion that looks different to you. You're gonna notice that you walk a little strange because your body's now a different proportion. There's going to be something. So just view it as part of the process.

If you're on your way to a vision that you have of yourself that's different, go make it a reality. Go nuts, have the surgery, brother. Or there is the option where you say no I don't want to have surgery it seems painful the recovery seems bad and it is and it will be by the way yeah that's true yeah if you say no I don't want to do that that seems intense I'm just gonna like love myself and know that someone out

there will fuck with this yeah someone will so a lot of people will there might be a lady that's really into sucking on a man's titties. There sure really is. There's gotta be. They're out there. I've only had it, one time a woman was kinda being mean to me and almost kinda calling me fat by playing with my tits. But I've never really had too many people suck on my tits. But maybe for you that'll happen.

You should try it sometime, maybe it'll be nice. At this point I don't fucking care, do whatever. Hey, have fun. Have fun, yeah guess at this point. I don't fucking care do whatever Fun Yes, it's the love of my life that we were talking about earlier, and she's got a suck on my titties great Yeah, I do. I don't have this guy. I don't have you know. I don't have the the fat Body type of titties I have for my body. I have pretty small titties I would say you too think I have the normal size my tits are I have nice tits Yeah, they're nice. You're pretty normal. I say you're right I think mine are a pinch smaller than they should be which I I also like I like the the very round

You know yeah kind of stepfather body type that I got Yeah, yeah, yeah a hefty base nice little base Big wheelbarrow and then just little titties. Yeah, it's gotta get these arms bigger We've discussed this I gotta be big arms little titties It's been the it's been the white whale of my life for the past probably seven years big arms little titties and one day We'll get there. Yeah, I see what we think he caught the whale at the end, right? Well be dick. He gets the whale Yeah, it's the way right Do we know that's a joke? I assume he doesn't I thought you would know cuz you guys sound off in the comments

Moby Dick what happened? I'm sure he doesn't I think that the whole point of the book Yeah, probably doesn't if I had to guess If I had to guess yeah I only read halfway through that book I didn't read it at all Yeah, and let's never find out by the way Let's commit the three of us in this room Don't read the comments, don't look it up, let's never find out

Oh people are gonna be fucking idiots Well But Suck us Suck us Don't look it up, let's never find out. Oh, people are gonna be fucking idiots. Well. But, suck us. Suck us. Suck us dummies. Suck us 2028. Suck us 2038.

I'll kiss her in the ass. Suck us. Suck us and bust. Suck us, bust, and vote for abortion rights. Busting at the abortion clinic. Suck us. When Trump won, my sister texted me she's like what the fuck is happening she's like stop should run for president

stops platform Republicans can suck my dick she's not far off well they can yeah yeah yeah they're hot they actually can yeah I'm not fucking doing it I'm not doing a voter registration check when I'm getting sucked off I'm not fucking doing it I'm not doing a voter registration check when I'm getting sucked off I'm not means testing somebody who wants to give me head that's right we're against means testing no purity testing no whatever benefits if you want to give me head I don't care what you said on the internet in 29 in 2009 say whatever you need if you want to suck me off Your voting record doesn't matter Amen brother you said it

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Please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. What do we got? I feel, you good man? Are you good to keep rolling? Do you have somewhere? Keep rolling? Like what? You want to do more voicemails? One more voicemail?

Yeah. Sounds nice. Something to go out on. I don't know how long we've been doing. I've lost track because I'm having a good time. We're at 1.42. Oh nice. Perfect.

Hey, Aldi. Hey, Sumpshu is a guest. It's good to see you all. Well, I can't see you but anyways okay here's the deal is I recently graduated from community college and I'm also I happen to be a comic and things have sort of been popping off for me the road has been good to me and one of my old professors caught wind of it and he he recently asked if i wanted to go back

and visit the school and teachers seminar on joke writing which is a person writing i a s i do i really i really would super high being up but then he mentioned to me that he asked another student who does comedy at the school to

also present on this presentation. And here's the thing is I'm I'm putting this as gently as I can. She's the worst comic I've ever fucking seen. She is just a nightmare. Yeah, she's she's been a problem in the scene. She's like banned from all of the open mic. This woman shouldn't even be near a microphone, much less teaching a seminar and joke writing. You shouldn't be near a microphone.

Can I just say, somebody who calls into Stavi's podcast to say that he's killing it on the road? There's no way that's true, buddy. Also, did you notice the slide from teaching a seminar to presenting on a presentation? Something's off here, my friend. Yeah, I'd love to have a little more info. Here's the thing, no no new comic and as he say

He's a new but if he's just recently out of college, she's relatively new. You're not as good as you think you are You're probably good. Yeah, we all think we're good I remember thinking I was I actually quit my job because I had so much like local road work Yeah, that I was like, whoa I made enough money where I was like, if this keeps going, you don't need a job. And I quit my job. And I did not get booked for I just all my gigs were just in two months. I didn't get booked for six months after that. I was like, Oh, fuck, I can't quit. I'm not good. I'm not a professional

comic. I just happened to get booked at all the gigs that were going to book me this year. Yeah, in two months. I'm not gonna have you back to do the same 15 minutes next week. 35. But yes, anyway, sorry, just to be clear you're not doing as well as you think you are. We're pretty positive. But we'll hear you out. But we will hear you out. Seminar on joke writing. She just, I mean, she just doesn't know anything about writing jokes, right? Do you? So like, here's the problem though, is she's always advertising the fact

that she quote unquote does comedy. Sounds like she does. And she's even got like this club at the school, the comedy club there, where she'll drag around and amp on wheels through the community college lunch room and just start doing jokes at people trying to enjoy their lunch Sounds awesome So it's like like people know her and she's telling everyone that she knows me which is like

She doesn't know me. She's a nice lady But I don't know What to do about the fact that there's a risk that this woman might be teaching comedy because I Oh no I don't want to be associated with her There's a risk that this woman might be teaching comedy because I Fucking problem who gives a fuck I don't know. Where do I go? What do I do? I need some help How do I move forward love you? Bye? This is not an issue Trying to trash this woman. He's like he's a cat She's saying she does comedy and she's like taking things into her own hand making it work

Yeah, building a fan base slowly, but surely it sounds like she does come on know who she is By the way, even if she's horrible, she might be yeah, and she is You are you are the same. Yeah, like that's the horror. That's the thing about comedy. That's why it doesn't deserve any respect. Yeah You and anybody who just says they're comedian and goes to open mics are the same Until I don't know you've been doing it ten years Yeah, like the internet is people think because you have crowd where clips go viral that it means anything It doesn't mean fucking anything and even and look look if you're starting to feature even if you're starting a headline Maybe you're a little more established in this person. That's fine

But to be clear what you said earlier is you also should not be teaching anybody comedy. Yeah. No, but you're not going to be made that no one should be teaching stand-up comedy, that it's impossible to actually learn it that way. It's not like this other stuff that you can, like most seminars, it's like the best ones are from people who have been doing it a really long time, don't have any fucking, fucking you know they just know where they are they really enjoy comedy, and they just want to give some knowledge But they've been at it for like I don't know 15

Years you know I mean like or and then most of them are like I like sometimes. It's just road comics. They're like Look, I don't fucking care, but I can make an extra 800 bucks if I if I just look I don't fucking care but I can make an extra 800 bucks if I if I just come if I come here on Saturday two hours before my fucking show I'll just fuck it you know what I mean like you're jazzed about teaching a stand-up seminar at a community college there's nothing that's really cool that could be a cool thing yeah but if it's like the thing that's making you feel excited about your career right now you're not in a good enough place to be mean to this person right the reality right you and her're not in a good enough place to be mean to this person. That's okay.

That's the reality. You and her are both in the lunch hall at the cafeteria. She might be the only one with an amp. But you are both in there. So don't be mean to her, relax. And also I would like to offer you, my friend, the perspective, because I'm also not being mean to you. You might be really great.

You might be the biggest comedian working in five years. I don't know. But here's a perspective I would like to offer you on your road to greatness instead of never wanting to be associated with someone who's bad at this why don't you go somewhere that you're excited to be and just tell your part of it why don't you go do the fucking seminar and tell what you love about writing jokes and don't be mean to that person maybe she could learn something from you maybe you could learn

something from her relax and be a little nicer yeah we just don't have enough info about how you're in a completely unreliable narrator Yeah, it's like nothing you're saying cuz it's true it and you're right anyone who's excited For their college ask him to come back and do a joke writing seminar does not have a comedy career Yeah, they just want to fit you want to feel like you're an authority because deep down, you know, you're not and that's fine No one no one is for a long time. You know, I've literally been doing comedy since I was 19. And it's only in the last couple years I feel like I can, you know, let my nuts hang.

Your nuts hang. I also will tell you, I think a lot of people myself included who start out as artists and creatives, I can recognize in your voice a thing that you're feeling right now that I want to disabuse you of quickly voice a thing that you're feeling right now that I want to disabuse you of quickly Which is that you're feeling? You're using the fact that you think this person is so much worse than you at this to make yourself feel better about your skills That is not sustainable. Yes, it's not nice. And if you were really that good, you wouldn't have to do that, right? You should get over that quickly. Yeah, and listen, we're not I definitely felt that you know I was definitely a bully open mic or who I was

I guess I was a little funnier than some other people and I would just mock that I would be you could hear my laugh When someone was bombing you could hear me laughing in the back. That's who I was in open mic You know what I mean, but that was shitty and that didn't help and it was only you're right when I just now It's like hey someone's about a comedy great doesn't affect me. I don't give a fuck and and and he's also talking about this. He's like like it's a big moral How how could I possibly let the seven half Interested community college who are getting bonus points Yeah

We're doing this for extra credit because they were too hungover to finish their blackboard assignment by midnight Who submitted their blackboard assignment two hours late and are forced to go to this. Like, this is not, this doesn't matter at all. Let's give you some perspective here. This is one of the least, this is one of the least important events that will ever occur in human history, is this seminar at your community college. I've seen people pick a hot dog off a roller at 7-eleven that had more stakes than what you're describing. This does not matter. One iota my friend. And you're right, I did the same thing. I definitely when I started in improv,

I definitely thought it was funny that some of the people doing it with me thought they were as good at it as I was. It's a totally natural thing. I'm not being mean to you. I'm just saying. I am. I want to also say I am being mean to you. I'm not. Yeah. I'm just saying disabuse yourself. Get over that. Yes.

Sooner rather than later. Yes. Yes. Yes. Keep at it. Keep working at it. I also know we've both been exactly where you are. We're I'm sure things have picked up a little bit more than the open mics. And I know, you know, I've obviously been sharing with you,

but that is the funnest time. And have a good time with it. I still think about that moment where it's like, cause early in your comedy career is the funnest part where you're starting to get better and you're actually getting paid shows and you're like performing in front of different types of people.

That's the funnest time of my life. So have a good time with it. You're still not, you should be teaching nobody anything but and you know this lady might suck but who gives a fuck and this seminar doesn't matter stop do you want to know something like you just remind me of something I cried at yesterday what's that I cry well I'm a crier yeah I cried yesterday was related to what you're talking about there was a video I might cry talking about it there's a video of Sandra Oh yeah really wonderful actress who she was on a

red carpet talking about. She was like, Oh, do you know Chappellrone? She was like, I love Pink Pony Club. And the person in the interview was like, why do you love Pink Pony Club? And she was like, cause I can remember the beginning of that song feels to me. She was talking to a younger person and she was like, I can remember when I was your age and everything felt like it was just starting. And then they, and then of course it was an edit. So they played the song over videos of her as a younger actor. Oh, I sobbed.

I was like, that's so beautiful. But you're right, it's so fun. When it feels like things are just beginning, you're like, oh man, this thing I've like, stressed about and dreamed about might actually happen. Oh, that's so fun. That rocks. I agree, that rocks.

But also, you need to remember, this girl might be feeling that about being asked to be on The seminar as well, so let her have her moment, too Yeah, I would I would yes, I was just like to say you're both equally excited to do this What does that tell you? That's a little food for thought that's all that's all And that's a little that's a nice little note to go out on this beautiful Thanksgiving Monday

where everyone go set a reminder if that's even possible to do on Max. Watch, sweethearts. Hit the remind button on Max, y'all. You guys know the classic remind button on Max. The famous Max interface. Hit that remind button, y'all. Don't forget to do that. Go watch Sweethearts. Listen to Sochu. It's a great podcast. That was one of my favorite podcasts I've done in years.

I had a blast on your pod. Thank you so much for coming, Cale. This was the best, dude. Thanks, man. Dude, I can't wait to have you on my show again. I'm coming back. I'll be the co-host, dude. I love you, brother. Thank you guys for listening and we will talk to you next week. Bye bye. Shabballah.